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“I think I’m ready to start treating you more as a friend than as a boss.”
That was one sentence Serizawa had said to him months ago that Reigen just couldn’t get out of his head. He was surprised he hadn’t forgotten it, considering how long it had been and that the night it had been said to him he’d been extremely intoxicated. For some reason, though, it permeated through his memory with an intensity he had never thought possible. He absolutely couldn’t get the way Serizawa’s voice said it out of his head, and when he did remember, it made a warm feeling pool in his stomach and burn at his cheeks. Honestly, he was starting to feel a little guilty about it.
Reigen was laying on his bed thinking about him. Again. How original , he thought. It was Wednesday night, late, he hadn’t been able to sleep which was pretty routine to him. He often found himself thinking of his friends and his life when his insomnia got to him, but lately, Serizawa was the only thing he could think about while laying there in the darkness, staring into nothing. He couldn’t for the life of him get the man out of his head. It was beginning to become exhausting.
Their newly established friendship came with new territory for both of them. At work, they had become much more relaxed around each other; both suit jackets came off when one of them made a comment about feeling rather uncomfortable or overdressed, they regularly had after-work outings (usually involving ramen, and rarely alcohol, since reigen had a fear of embarrassing Serizawa yet again). They would talk and joke about happenings in each other’s lives, they had even begun to have movie nights at each other’s apartments - not to mention their constant text conversations. It was nice, being vulnerable, Reigen thought.
Reigen enjoyed his friendship with Serizawa a lot, it was the first really close adult friendship that he had ever had, and the two of them often expressed a mutual appreciation for it, even so, he was so afraid he’d ruin it.
Whenever they ate together or sat next to each other, each accidental touch, brush against each other’s knuckles, or bump of the knees sent his heart into a frenzy. He hated it. He hated feeling like such a creep, he was the guy’s boss no matter how much their friendship had evolved over the course of time. Even though he knew he was probably blowing it out of proportion by thinking this, he’d never want to use his position to take advantage of the man who had already been used and thrown away like yesterday’s newspaper, it just didn’t sit right with him. Though he supposed these feelings weren’t innately bad, just unnecessary, bound to hurt him and Serizawa both. But no matter how much he tried he couldn’t stop them.
Serizawa surely didn’t deserve his prolonged looks, the lingering touches to his arm; although he’d never commented about it he knew the man probably held a distaste for him on some level. He was needy, obnoxious, and surely demanded way too much of the man’s attention. Serizawa had his own life, his own friends, he was certainly more put together than Reigen. Reigen blinked into the dark bedroom and inhaled, tugging at his sheets with balled fists as he did.
“More as a friend than as a boss,” it came to him again. Why on earth would he want to be friends with me? I am a disaster . Reigen let out the breath he’d been holding in and flipped to his other side in aggravation, reaching out to his bedside table and checking the time on his phone. It read 2:32 a.m., although it felt far later than that to him. He placed his phone back on the small table and shut his eyes, he knew it probably wouldn’t help him get to sleep, but he wanted to remember that night again, even if it was hard to think about.
On the night that Serizawa had carried him home from that bar close to his house and before he had become far too drunk to remember things clearly, he could recall one feeling that itched at his mind and his skin far too much for his liking. That feeling, of course, was jealousy.
“You seem to be in kind of a bad mood, Reigen,” Shinra had said this to him at the beginning of that night. Reigen had just ordered their drinks and was rolling up the short sleeves on his button-up when he paused to glance up at Shinra as he continued, “are you sure you even want to hang out?” he remembered giving his rather round friend a callous look in response.
“I wouldn’t have said yes and come all the way here if I didn’t want to hang out, Shinra,” he said in a mocking tone, it was friendly, but just barely. He needed to get it off his mind, the conversation he had with Serizawa earlier; it had been a stroke of luck when Shinra had texted him out of the blue asking if he wanted to go out for a drink. He’d immediately accepted, all he’d been able to think about that afternoon after Serizawa had texted him was, well, Serizawa. How much fun he would probably have on the date, how he would fall hard for the pretty girl he was “not interested” in. He knew now that any chance of any fantasy he’d had where the two of them had any romantic involvement was crushed, just like that.
He wished he would have been more gracious with Serizawa earlier, to be happy for him, that he could have given him advice past, “well, just go through with it and see how it turns out,” but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. All he could bring himself to do was feel insignificant and give half-assed answers. It was pitiful.
He didn’t want the way he felt to be that obvious. Usually, he could present himself as the unreadable one, if he was guarded it was easier for him; but tonight even someone like Shinra had seen through his thinly veiled outer shell. The kind man didn’t deserve how cold Reigen was being to him now, but the blonde just couldn’t help himself. After a bad day that just seemed to keep getting worse, he tended to take out his negative feelings on others. He decided to change the subject after taking a swig of his beer, trying to adopt a warmer tone.
“So you mentioned your job today being kind of difficult. Tell me about that,” he saw Shinra take a sip of his own beer and raise a suspicious brow, Reigen could tell that he knew he was trying to avoid the prior subject, however, he went along with Reigen’s request, telling him about how he’d traveled into Seasoning City for an exorcism. On an entire neighborhood block where one of Shinra’s friends resided, people’s toothbrushes had been attacking their owners each day. After exorcising almost 30 low-level spirits, which had taken him hours of painful effort, he was utterly exhausted. He complained that he probably hadn’t gotten paid well enough for the gig since it was out of his usual area and far more complex than he’d been told it would be, but he had gone along with it nonetheless.
“I mean what would those people have done if I hadn’t helped them? Gone to a con artist like you?” teased the man, nudging Reigen playfully with his arm. Reigen found that the corners of his mouth had curled up slightly and he let out a tiny laugh.
Shinra had a certain warmth about him that Reigen found comforting. A guilty feeling clenched at his gut, he probably should have tried to keep up with their friendship more than he had; as opposed to Serizawa, Shinra was the only friend he had happened upon that wasn’t a former member of an international criminal gang, or a middle schooler. Their relationship was simply happenchance, it was incredible they had interacted at all after their first meeting, but Reigen was lonely, Shinra was less lonely but still, he valued Reigen’s friendship. That was at least something to help improve his mood that night.
After that, Reigen remembered that the two of them had a fairly amicable conversation as they chipped away at their drinks. Reigen wasn’t sure he wanted to go past the first one, even if it was just a beer, but that changed the instant he saw Serizawa.
When he saw the man enter the bar with a woman far prettier than he had first imagined, he felt something terrible wrench at his gut and noticed himself tune out of whatever Shinra had been in the middle of saying. Of all the places that they had to come it had to be there ? Couldn’t they have picked a different bar? He felt a tumult of emotions colliding into each other he couldn’t place. Envy, fear, anger even, he couldn’t tell what won out over the others, all he was aware of was that he felt horrible. He heard a flicker of his name through the emotion soup in his mind.
“Reigen. Reigen?” he had been staring so fixedly and irritatedly into the lip of his beer bottle that his friend’s voice sounded like it was underwater, “Reigen are you alright?” he snapped up wide-eyed at his companion after he heard the last word of his sentence and Shinra jumped back a little in surprise.
“What?”
“Are you okay? You were looking at your drink all pale like you might pass out or something, are you sure you should be drinking?” Shinra’s face was riddled with concern, which only made reigen’s gut twist more uncomfortably.
“I’m. fine. I just saw someone I know, everything’s fine,” he drained the last of his beer after that and flagged the bartender over, “I’ll take a lemon sour please, heavy on the gin.” he saw the bartender give him an apprehensive look before nodding and walking away. He looked back over to Shinra who had narrowed his eyes and was giving him a calculating look.
“Reigen, what is going on.”
“Nothing,” Reigen waved enthusiastically, “nothing is going on I was just zoned out there’s nothing for you to worry about,” he said this in as genuine a tone as he could muster but he could tell that Shinra was not convinced.
“If you want me to drop it I will,” Shinra said, breaking eye contact with Reigen and turning to face the bar, “it’s just that you seem upset and I am your friend. If you need me I’m here,” there was a little bit of regret on his face after he said this but it faded quickly as he took another drink from the bottle in his hand.
Reigen set his hands down on the bartop and frowned, his brow furrowing a bit, he was being difficult, he didn’t want that for Shinra, “look. I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind,” he said. He heard the clink of a glass being set in front of him and saw the bartender hurry away again, the bar was getting busier by the second. He downed half the drink in one swig, prompting a very concerned look from Shinra.
“Jeez, no one’s gonna take it from you,” he commented. Reigen glanced at him coldly.
“I know that. It’s just one of those nights, kay?” he set the glass down on the bar forcefully. Shinra clicked his tongue, he was obviously starting to lose his patience.
“So are you going to tell me what’s on your mind or-” reigen interrupted him before he could finish, the effects of the alcohol were rather instant and he could already feel himself beginning to unravel.
“It’s just. Serizawa is here. That’s who I saw,” he said this rather quietly for an interruption.
“Serizawa? You don’t mean the guy who works for you right?” Shinra’s front of annoyance quickly fell in favor of curiosity.
Well, that was a quick change , Reigen thought, his mouth screwing into a strange shape on his face, “yeah. That’s the guy.”
“I thought you two got along great? Why are you acting all distraught?”
Reigen, who had been looking at his glass in order to avoid eye contact, twisted his head toward Shinra at an uncomfortable angle and gave him an indignant look, “what do you mean by ‘distraught’?”
Shinra’s expression turned flat, “oh, please. How else am I supposed to interpret-” he paused and gestured vaguely in reigen’s direction, “all that.”
Reigen’s expression leveled and his eyes swept the ground. Shinra was spot on, which made him feel more pathetic. When he didn’t answer Shinra after a few minutes the man pressed further.
“Did something happen with you two?” there was so much gentle concern in his voice, Reigen could hardly stand it.
“No, nothing happened.”
“Then what is it?”
Reigen took another long drink from his glass and stared off into the middle distance, deciding how much information he should reveal and the way he should do it. After a couple of minutes, he opened his mouth, “I guess I’m a bit jealous,” he was trying to keep it neutral, Shinra didn’t need to know the intimate details of his feelings toward the situation at hand. He saw Shinra crane his neck in the direction of the man and his date who were seating themselves at a recently vacated table and then look at reigen apologetically.
“Man, I don’t know how you couldn’t be jealous. His date is gorgeous,” Shinra said this with the same apologetic tone that lingered on his face. Reigen finished what was left of his drink and felt a cottony feeling beginning to cloud his thoughts. He couldn’t help but laugh at the man’s interpretation of his confession.
“I...well that isn’t quite what I meant,” said Reigen, who had already flagged down the busy bartender for another beer.
“Then what do you mean?” Shinra asked curiously.
“I’m jealous of the girl he’s with,” Reigen’s fuzz filled mind couldn’t find any other way to phrase it, guess that cat’s out of the bag , he thought, brow creasing defeatedly. He saw Shinra’s expression turn from confusion to pensiveness, then almost as though a lightbulb came aglow above his head, realization dawned on him.
“Oh. Ohhhhh,” Shinra gave Reigen another apologetic look, “I see what’s going on now.”
“Yeah,” Reigen refused to make eye contact and instead studied the various glass rings that littered the bartop, even if the bar had only been open for a couple of weeks there were quite a few of them that stained the wood already.
“I can’t imagine that being here at the same time as them is easy,” he heard Shinra say. His expression fell a little more. It wasn’t easy, no. he heard the clink of the beer he had ordered being set in front of him and decided to ignore everything else but the drivel of random conversation. He needed to stop thinking about how miserable he felt. He would hate to bring Shinra down even more, even worse what if Serizawa just so happened to interact with him.
“Hey,” a rather deep voice that reigen didn’t recognize came out from the other side of Shinra, “I couldn’t help but overhear earlier that you do exorcisms?” Shinra immediately turned to the man to whom the voice belonged and began his business pitch, it was honestly a welcome distraction. Reigen was beginning to get dizzy now, so he leaned as casually as he could into the bartop and took the beer into his hand. Inhale, exhale . He took a couple of deep breaths and tried to think of anything else, how Mob was doing, how his office probably needed a good deep clean, how much Dimple had pissed him off the other day, anything. Suddenly he felt a very familiar presence on his right-hand side.
Even though Reigen was not a true psychic, his intuition was off the charts in terms of accuracy. He was able to feel eyes on him, whether or not he was being followed, who or what was standing or hovering next to him and their intentions without needing to look; it was something that came as naturally to him as breathing. He peered in the direction of the presence, spotted Serizawa standing there in blissful ignorance, and sighed. He was going to have to bullshit this interaction so hard, wasn’t he? Yeah. Yeah, he was. He suddenly regretted drinking as much as he had already that night.
“Pppft...wow it’s a small world. Come here often?” wow. Smooth.
“R-Reigen!?” Serizawa’s dumbfounded expression set reigen’s face on fire.
He opened his eyes again and the sound of the window unit whirring into the night replaced the buzz of conversation from the memory. Trying to remember anything past that point in the night was rather fruitless, as the alcohol had begun to cloud everything but right before he and Serizawa had gotten to his apartment door. He remembered how much his skin burned under Serizawa’s hands as he held him, how much he had to will himself into not grabbing his face and kissing him right then and there. Luckily he fell asleep before he could do anything stupid, and for that, he was grateful to the alcohol.
“More as a friend.” was that all he was ever going to be to Serizawa? A friend? But why did that matter to him so much? It wasn’t like he stood a chance as much else. He flopped onto his stomach and buried his face into his pillow with a frustrated groan. He figured it was well past 3 a.m. now. Not that it mattered, because even if he pulled an all-nighter he still would have to go into the office at 9 am ready for his first scheduled client. Maybe he should cancel? Call out sick? He was the boss, he could do that after all. But no...he needed every job he could get, rent didn’t take sick days. He’d just have to wait for the weekend like any normal salaryman.
He supposed he should think of a way to correctly apologize for the way he had acted that night. Technically he had already apologized the day after when he’d woken up to a splitting headache and quite the ridiculous bedhead, realizing he was still in the same clothes as the night before. He had called Serizawa first thing, the man answered with a warm tone that made reigen’s entire body freeze up. He had apologized over and over, thanking Serizawa for taking him home, commenting about how he hoped he hadn’t ruined his date. Serizawa sat on the other end patiently humming confirmations and denials of events reigen speculated. At the end of the call, he didn’t nag Reigen like he had been expecting but simply said something about how he was glad he got Reigen home safe and how happy he was to be his friend. An odd way to end a call in which Reigen should have been the one to say, “I’m so grateful that you were there to help me, you’re such a good friend,” but no such words came out of his mouth.
He still recalled how uneasy the call had made him feel. But he got distracted before long and went about his Sunday in a relatively normal way afterward. It had been months since then and their friendship had only grown more intimate, and it stung whenever he thought about it.
After the longest time, Reigen finally fought his way into sleep, when he woke to his alarm the next morning there was a pit of anxiety that lingered in his stomach. He went through his morning routine, flipping mindlessly through the news channels as he tried to enjoy his morning tea, tightening his tie knot a little too far into his neck, brushing a few pieces of lint off his jacket as he made his way out the door and into the chilly fall morning.
When he got to the office he set up, as usual, Serizawa walked in only a few minutes after him at nearly the same time he did every morning. They greeted each other, Reigen as casually as he could, and Serizawa with that glowing smile of his. Reigen couldn’t help but look away rather quickly when this happened, feeling an uneasy warmth bloom into his cheeks, thankfully, Serizawa didn’t seem to notice. They breezed past their morning clients, however, the feeling of anxiety that reigen had been experiencing since earlier loomed and brewed like a nasty storm. By midday, he was positively itching to get the energy out of him one way or another.
“How many clients do we have scheduled for the rest of the day, Serizawa?” he asked, milling about in the area behind his desk, he felt Serizawa look at him strangely.
“We only have one more scheduled at 2 p.m. and after that, it’s all walk-ins...why?”
Reigen didn’t know if he wanted to answer honestly but figured he would avoid grief if he did, “I’ve been really anxious and antsy all day and it’s making me kind of nauseous,” he said, “I just wanted to know when the earliest we could close up would be,” he stopped pacing for a moment and looked at Serizawa, whose face was brimming with concern.
“Are you okay? Would you like me to make you some tea? If you need to go get some fresh air I can take care of the office for you for a little.” he stood from his spot at his desk and made his way over to reigen with the schedule sheet for their clients, “if you’re really feeling that bad we can reschedule them, I know how bad nerves can make you feel.” he placed a warm hand on the outside of Reigen’s arm and tilted his head awaiting a response.
The heat in Reigen's face from earlier that had dissipated a bit hit him in full force and he felt the tips of his ears burn. He swallowed hard. It wasn’t fair, the way Serizawa made him feel. It wasn’t fair that he was so casual about the way he cared so much, it wasn’t fair that he had that handsome face, those eyes that reigen felt saw right through him. All the energy from his anxiety went straight from his stomach to his heart, which he felt might leap from his chest, and unsurprisingly, his lower body, which burned in a way he found inappropriate for a work setting.
He needed a break from this. From them being so close to each other. He was afraid that if he stood there any longer he might do something incredibly dumb.
“I think I just need a minute to myself,” he said quietly, and practically took off running in the direction of the back room. He shut the door rather haphazardly and ran over to the small kitchenette sink, turning it on and running his hands through the water, splashing a little bit onto his face and leaning over the counter, letting the water drip into the sink basin. He stood there for a few minutes staring blankly at the drain, his arm still burned in the place where Serizawa’s hand had been. He looked at his own hands for a moment and curled his fingers into loose fists, the cool of the countertop a welcoming change from the heat he had been feeling up until now.
He couldn’t just go back out and pretend like nothing had happened, he burned that bridge when he decided to be honest. He tilted his head up toward the cabinetry and narrowed his eyes a bit. He probably could make it through to their next client. Yeah. he would just have to push through it. Then he could run away to his house, far away from his problems, just like he wanted. He could stop feeling bad about his feelings toward Serizawa, he could turn on a terrible movie and eat takeout alone and fall asleep in the middle of it, like any other night. Yeah.
He was just about to turn around when he heard a light knock on the door, “Reigen? Everything okay in there?” he felt a little bit of color drain from his face.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’ll be out in a second,” he approached the door slowly and set his hand loosely on the doorknob. His heart was still beating a mile a minute. Suddenly, he decided to make a very stupid decision.
He opened the door to find a slightly less concerned, though still nervous looking Serizawa leaning on Reigen’s desk playing anxiously with the ends of his jacket sleeves. He looked up at Reigen when he heard his shoes scuff the floor as he made his way over to the taller man, trying to act as casually as he possibly could. He was going to run away from his problem. Literally.
“Hey, I think I might take you up on your offer to watch the office for a little while. I really just need air. I think I've been inside for too long,” good, that’s it, that sounded convincing , he thought, swallowing down a lump in his throat. Serizawa gave him a very understanding look that he only saw a portion of since he couldn’t bring himself to look him directly in the eye.
“Alright! I’ll be here waiting for you, take your time, I’m on standby in case you need me.”
Reigen backed away toward the door with a fake smile plastered on his face and let out a stilted laugh, “thanks, I shouldn’t be long, no need to worry,” the last thing he saw before turning to head out the door was an oddly suspicious look from Serizawa, but he paid no mind to it and booked it down the stairs and into the street. He made his way quickly in the direction of his apartment, tearing up the stairs when he got there not even fifteen minutes later, slamming the door shut, turning the deadbolt, and burying himself underneath his blankets in full office dress. He didn’t care if his suit got wrinkled, he didn’t care how unprofessional this was, he only cared that he was here and the rest of the world was out there, a problem for future him.
This is so dumb , he thought, astronomically more dumb than anything else I could have pulled . He peered out from under the blanket and glanced toward the window, thankfully his curtains were still closed as he had failed to open them this morning, this way no one would be able to see his shameful state. There was still a bit of light filtering through the cracks, but he didn’t mind, he would be up and back at the office in a bit. He should have just called off sick today, this could have all been avoided with a few simple phone calls. Everything is different in hindsight , he thought.
At least he was already feeling better, even if it was just a little bit. His body was more relaxed than it had been in a while and his heart finally had a steady rhythm. He decided, against his better judgment, to close his eyes for a brief moment, but he must have slipped off into some much-needed rest because when he pried his eyes open again it was dark and his head was pounding. Or wait. No. something was indeed pounding but it wasn’t just a headache. He snapped up suddenly, realizing that the noise was coming from the door. It stopped for a moment and then came back just a little louder. Oh, he had really done it this time.
A million thoughts buzzed through his mind at once. How long had he been asleep? What on earth had Serizawa done when Reigen didn’t show up for their next scheduled client? What had gone through his mind after Reigen had just not shown back up to work at all ? What was he going to think of Reigen if he was the one at the door when he opened it up to reveal his disheveled state? And lastly, why on earth had he done something so stupid?
“Reigen? Reigen are you in there?” Serizawa’s familiar voice pulled him out of his trance. So he was the one behind the door. It wasn’t like it would have been anyone else considering the circumstance. He took a deep breath and shoved his face into the pillow he was holding and groaned loudly. He couldn't just pretend not to be there. That was absolutely out of the question, especially if he wanted Serizawa to even still tolerate him after this disaster.
He dragged himself out of bed, head still aching, and made his way to the front door slowly, doing his best to brush out a few wrinkles from his suit jacket before turning the deadbolt and cracking it open. He couldn’t bring himself to look Serizawa in the face, in fact, he was only able to identify him by his navy blue suit pants and worn dress shoes with the scuff over the left toe. He inhaled and bit his lip, not really sure how to explain anything, then before he could bring himself to say anything, felt the door open fully and a rush of air as Serizawa embraced him.
“Oh thank god, I thought something had happened, you’re safe.” his voice wasn’t angry like reigen had been expecting, instead it was gentle, he felt the rumble of it through his chest when he spoke again, “I was so worried when you didn’t come back for the next client, is everything okay?” Serizawa separated from him just enough so that he could see his face. Reigen’s gaze made his way up to Serizawa’s face slowly, he wasn’t sure how to feel, about the embrace, that he was concerned instead of angry. The fact that he was still waking up from his half day-long nap was making his judgment fuzzy, his head still hurt, his eyes were heavy, but being here in his arms felt so nice. So right.
He suddenly felt his limbs move of their own accord, his hands came up to cup the sides of Serizawa's face gently and he pulled him forward, placing his own lips on the taller man’s briefly and then pulling away, bewildered at his own action. They stood there for a few moments in stunned silence staring at each other; reigen expected himself to feel more anxious about this than anything but he felt nothing of the sort, he only felt warm. There was an unreadable expression on Serizawa’s face that made reigen feel compelled to say something.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I don’t...I don’t really know where that came from. It just felt like the right thing to do and I-” before he could finish his sentence Serizawa was kissing him again. It was different from the kiss he had given to Serizawa just minutes before, it was passionate and awkward and there was indeed quite a bit of bumping of their noses and warm sensations on the back of his neck as his hair pricked up from the movement of Serizawa's hands on his waist. After a little while they disconnected, Reigen’s expression was still quite shocked but his cheeks remained flushed with a comfortable amount of warmth. He didn’t expect what Serizawa said next.
“I was wondering if I was going to have to make the first move but I guess I don’t have to now,” he chuckled softly, letting his grip on Reigen loosen and giving him some space, “and I guess that explains you running away from the office to hide in your house.”
Reigen felt his face get even hotter and looked to the side sheepishly, “yeah. I, uh, don’t really have any other excuse than...being around you in any platonic way recently has been driving me crazy,” he knew that was a strange way to word it so he glanced at Serizawa briefly to see if he was confused. Thankfully, Serizawa's gentle smile was all his eyes were met with and he had to look away quickly again because of how lightheaded it made him. “So...you really were waiting for me to say something?” he was looking off just to the right of Serizawa's shoulder at the orange sky, it was giving everything a pleasant golden glow. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Serizawa's smile widen and his shoulders shake with another small laugh.
“Well, you haven’t exactly been...subtle,” said Serizawa. He placed a hand gently on reigen’s cheek and turned his head to face him, when their eyes met Reigen didn’t feel like he was going to pass out again like he was expecting. “I’ve known you have feelings for me for quite a while now.”
“Oh,” was all Reigen could say. He stood there for another minute or so staring at Serizawa who waited patiently for him to go on and thought about the signals which he had so carefully tried to conceal over the past year or so, “when did you know?” Serizawa was the one who looked sheepish this time.
“That night I carried you home when you were really drunk. I didn’t really know how to bring it up considering you told me how little of that night you remembered.”
“Wait! Did I say something to you then!?” Reigen exclaimed while waving his hands about wildly, he could tell he had a mortified look on his face and saw Serizawa suppress a laugh.
“No, you didn’t say anything directly,” Serizawa began, reigen froze, “but the way you were acting was way more than words could ever say.” Reigen frowned, so he really had been acting like a jealous ass that night. It wasn’t exactly comforting to hear but then again, at least he didn’t have to remember any of it to relive the embarrassment. He saw Serizawa pick up on his discomfort so he continued, apparently having still been in the middle of his piece, “I mean, that was the night I realized my feelings for you, so...”
“You mean even though I was being drunk and embarrassing, you still...” Reigen felt breathless when he said this, the way Serizawa could love him through all his flaws, he felt hardly deserving of it. In spite of this, he felt a comfortable feeling return to his chest once more, “I'm sorry, by the way, for that night.” Serizawa gave him an odd look.
“Why are you apologizing again?” he asked. Reigen wanted to look away from him again but he forced himself to keep looking the man in the eye, he wanted to be as genuine with this as he possibly could.
“Because that isn’t the way I wanted you to find out,” he paused to put the puzzle of thoughts in his head together, “I didn’t want to make you feel like you were in the wrong for simply living your life, including you choosing to date whomever you want. And I probably definitely came across that way. That’s why I'm apologizing.” he watched Serizawa's expression become unreadable again for a moment before he smiled at him warmly again.
“Thank you for that, really,” Serizawa said, and he slid his hands onto Reigen’s waist again gently. Reigen jumped slightly at the touch but relaxed into it quickly, returning the touch by placing his own hands on the man’s shoulders where he could feel their slow rise and fall with each breath Serizawa took, “There is only one person I’ve had my eyes set on dating since then - and before you say anything else it has nothing to do with you guilting me into having feelings for you so don’t even think about saying that,” Reigen felt his mouth clap shut when he heard the taller man say this. Serizawa leaned forward and brushed his lips against Reigen’s forehead before embracing him again.
Before Reigen could stop himself he felt more words spilling out of his mouth, “I think I love you,” he paused and felt Serizawa hum warmly in response. He waited a moment and then reaffirmed the statement again, “ah, no, I do. I love you.” he felt Serizawa's shoulders shake again as he laughed gently once more.
“I love you too, weirdo.” As soon as Reigen heard this he smiled wider than he thought possible, “please try not to leave me with the weird clients next time though.” Reigen pulled away with a wince and Serizawa began to laugh harder.
“Oh god what did they want I don’t even remember I'm so sorry,” he felt a spark of laughter in his own chest and let it flow naturally, he felt lighter with every sound. Serizawa told him about how he had awkwardly handled the client who had in fact only been ailed by shoulder soreness and not any real evil spirit.
“I tried my hand at being a masseuse... let's just say it didn’t go over so well. I’m still way too new to it,” Serizawa was still laughing through the entire sentence, the sound of it made Reigen’s chest feel full. He suddenly felt a loud growl rattle through his stomach and looked down at it in surprise.
“Oh, I guess I never ate lunch, did I,” he said and felt another squirming feeling of hunger pass through his gut. “Say, Serizawa, would you...Want to go and get some soba?” he looked back up at his companion and saw him nod enthusiastically.
“Absolutely. I was so nervous about you that I wasn’t able to eat earlier either so I'm starving,” he took a step back from reigen but before turning around to head down the stairs, reached for one of his hands and brought it up to his mouth, brushing it with his lips. The gesture made Reigen’s stomach drop and he could feel his face warming up again. With his other hand Serizawa reached up to the top of Reigen’s head and ran his fingers through it a few times, “ah, Reigen, you have bedhead still.” he wasn’t able to stop himself from kissing the taller man again, and he did, it was brief and warm, it already felt so natural to kiss him.
They walked to a nearby favorite restaurant and picked something up, walking it back to reigen’s apartment, turning on a movie, and even though reigen had slept through half the day, he was out before 10 pm alongside the person he loved.