Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It does not feel like coming home. It was never a home. The Underground was a placeholder, a pit, a ditch Levi stumbled into and happened to find his footing. But it was never home. When he comes down the tunnel, the city seems darker than he even remembered it to be, his eyes struggling against the dimness.

Everything else he remembers perfectly.

He wears his cloak, hood up, presence undetectable. He's small, and that makes it easier to navigate the crumbling buildings and rusting sewers without being noticed. Nothing has really changed since he left. Levi doesn't know if that relieves or depresses him. He sees barefooted children running, their faces malnourished. Sees the back alley dealings, the dead-eyed looks. He lived here for so long that the scenes became commonplace. Sometimes Levi could even pretend to forget them. Seeing them again now, he's not sure how he ever did.

It takes him less than twenty minutes to find what he's looking for. The house (it's a shack, really) sits ugly and unassuming. It looks a little more gutted out than the last time Levi saw it. But the back window is still broken in like he knew it would be. He pulls the tan cloth aside and slips in just like that, one motion. The house is empty, clean, but he can sense a kind of staleness to everything. It doesn't surprise him. Levi spares the place a glance, takes it in, remembers it, and then takes a seat at the chair by the kitchen, legs splayed out, and waits.

He had to calm himself down, earlier. He felt jittery and on edge most of the day, even if he managed to hide that from Erwin. Levi's done things like this before. He's killed men without a second thought, watched their pulse struggle like a trapped rabbit to keep going until it slowly faded to nothing. This feels different. Because it is different. Because there's more riding on this than just his life. Levi's eyes flicker to the ceiling, knowing Hanji is waiting for him above.

Hanji was a bundle of nerves for an entirely different reason. Even before they've left, Hanji babbled like they were drunk, hands gesturing like flags in the wind, boneless and wild. Once they got into town, Hanji calmed a bit, but only enough to talk with a steadier voice as they walked.

"This is so exciting," they said. "I've told you before that we make a great team."

"We haven't actually done anything yet."

"Doesn't matter," Hanji said.

Levi rolled his eyes, lets his silence be the agreement. Hanji didn't know what the plan was, but they had forged a pass for Levi. When he asked Hanji for help, they agreed without question. It was one of the reasons Levi asked in the first place. He said they were going into town, and he told Hanji he'd need a pass. He knew Hanji was too creative, too smart not to be able to make one. And they did.

Once they got there, Hanji was a tight storm of energy, eyes darting around the roads and buildings. It wasn't until half an hour later that their grin started to break into confusion.

"Is this…" the frown Hanji's lips dropped into was comical. "Is this really all we're doing? Shopping?"

Levi ran his fingers over the dust cloth on the shelf. The fibers looked promising for catching dirt.

"For now, yeah."

They'd been to three shops so far. Levi had picked up tea and pens and a few baked goods, the two of them not exactly inconspicuous in their uniforms. They'd been noticed. They'd been seen. That's what he needed. Levi grabbed the dust cloth from the shelf and paid for it, Hanji nearly twitching in anticipation behind him. They stepped outside and Levi handed the shopping he'd done off to Hanji, who took it without question.

"I have to run another errand," Levi said, and didn't look up as they walked. "You can't come with me, but if anyone asks, we've been together the entire time, haven't we?"

There was only a short silence before Hanji responded: "Yes."

"Good." Levi glanced up and saw how serious Hanji's expression was, the understanding of what was being asked of them. "You should make yourself scarce for now."

"I won't be seen," Hanji said.

They reached into their jacket and pulled out the forged pass. "Here."

Levi grabbed the pass without speaking and started to pull ahead, the nervousness from earlier finally calmed. He felt stoic.

"Levi, wait."

He turned back and Hanji was there, shopping collected awkwardly in their arms.

"You are coming back, aren't you?"

"We'd better hope so," Levi said, and kept walking.

--

After ten minutes of waiting, Nena walks in. When she sees Levi, she drops apples at his feet and says, "Shit."

"Hi to you too," Levi says.

--

Nena and Bill had been Farlan's friends, originally. Farlan had a lot of friends, had a lot of enemies, also. He was charismatic and loud in that way. But Nena and Bill were discreet enough that Levi didn't mind their company. When Bill had gotten sick, too sick for the medicine down there, they helped him get a pass above ground. They'd done it before for others. Nena stayed behind. She was his sister, older and heftier, chin held high like she was daring you to hit it. She's still that way as she serves Levi tea in a chipped cup, her hands warm.

"Your house is still filthy," he says.

Nene snorts into her teacup.

"You really didn't come all this way to tell me to dust," she says. "I know you're here because you need something. Otherwise you would've never come back."

Levi doesn't answer her right away. He takes a sip of tea, forefinger running over the chipped rim of the cup.

"Do you still want to go above ground? See your brother?"

Nena's chin quivers, briefly.

"You know that I do."

"There's someone I need killed," Levi says. "But it has to look like a random killing, nothing to create suspicion."

Nena wipes one of the apples she dropped on her sleeve and bites into it.

"…Why not kill him yourself?"

"Can't risk it."

Nena looks him over. "It's true, isn't it? You're with the Survey Corps now."

The way she says it makes Levi wonder about the rumors. What they must have all been saying, a thug as famous as him disappearing. When he decided to stay and follow Erwin, he thought about everyone down here, and how things would operate without him. It was a brief thought he pushed aside and left in the forest with Isabel and Farlan's bodies.

"Some people said you were dead, you know," Nena says. "But I knew you wouldn't go out that easily, not without leaving a lot of bodies behind. Even the Survey Corps rumors I didn't believe, but, shit. It's real."

There's a pause, Nena's eyes flashing in wonder.

"What happened to you up there?"

Even if he had all the time in the world, Levi's not sure he could answer that question. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out the pass to get above ground, slides it across the table.

"This is yours. Take it."

She doesn't touch the pass. Her mouth is set in stubborn curiosity.

"How do you know I won't just go above ground and never kill this guy?"

"Because you know I'll find you and kill you."

Nena laughs and then coughs, her lungs filled with dust.

"This is serious, huh?" she says. "You fighting some kind of war up there?"

"Something like that," Levi says.

Nena still hasn't touched the pass. Her eyes flicker around the room, suspiciously wet looking. They'd offered to get her one, back when Bill was being moved, but she refused. It would cost enough money as it were to get Bill treated. She never once cried when he left, not that Levi saw anyway.

"Hey," she says. "Where are Isabel and Farlan?"

To his credit, Levi's stomach drops only once. He doesn't look at Nena. He looks at the broken window, the way the Underground city is laid out only so far before the darkness swallows it.

"They're dead," he says.

There's silence, and he knows there are probably a hundred different emotions on Nena's face right now, none of which he wants to see. He can't remember the last time he heard their names spoken out loud. Lately he hasn't thought about them as much, and the guilt of it makes him feel wrecked inside. Levi watches Nena grab the pass from the corner of his eye and finally looks at her. Her face is set, hardened, as if she's put some of the pieces together by herself.

"You remember when Bill got sick?" she says. "He could barely move at one point, and I hadn't known you that long, but you and Farlan were over helping me out when those debt collectors came by."

Nena takes another bite of her apple, juice spraying to her upper lip and cheek.

"One of them tried to grab me and you slammed his hand onto the table and cut two of his fingers off. Told him if he and his friend ever came by again you'd take the rest. And you know, they never did. All that money and they never came back."

Levi doesn't answer her. He doesn't know how. He remembers that day, though. Nena sets her half-eaten apple on the table.

"I'll do it," she says. "For you. For Isabel and Farlan."

Levi nods. "You know you can't ever contact me after this."

Nena laughs and her face is tired, so tired, and Levi wonders if they've all always looked like this.

"Tell me more about this person," she says.

--

They're all up late, talking, complaining. They pass around a bottle of whiskey someone swiped from Pixis in the barns, some of them with their bare feet spread out on the itchy hay. Levi leans against the barn wall and accepts a swig of the bottle, still on edge from earlier. Hanji is there as well, but they barely motion to Levi, and the hanging lantern casts a glare over the lens of their goggles.

It'd only taken him an hour to set up the negotiations with Nena. He came out later and found Hanji by the edge of the road stuffing crackers into their mouth. When Hanji saw Levi, they tried to offer him some, hands full of crumbs, and Levi refused by wrinkling his nose.

"Everything go all right?" Hanji said.

"Yeah, let's head back."

And Hanji didn't ask anything else about it, but Levi could tell they were uneasy, and wanted, wished he could say something. He was sure that if Nena failed, there'd be no way to trace the pass back to Hanji, and that's all he needed to know.

"I feel like we've been waiting around for months," Nanaba says. "Mike said there was no word on funding yet. I feel like there's usually a plan by now, you know?"

One of the other female soldiers passes Nanaba the whiskey bottle, alcohol dribbling down her chin.

"What if there isn't one? What if they disband us?"

"They'll send us to the Garrison or the Military Police." Nanaba shudders. "I'd rather shovel shit than serve those assholes."

"Hey now," Hanji says. "We're not done for yet. Our track record has always been dismal, remember?"

"Dismal," Nanaba says. "But we had funding at least. What do you think, Levi?"

She passes the bottle back to him and Levi takes a drink, shrugs.

"I don't think about it."

"What? Not at all? But after everything that's happened, don't you want the Survey Corps to keep going?"

Levi passes the bottle, focuses on the burn of alcohol down his throat. After everything that's happened. Leaving the Underground, losing Isabel and Farlan, losing everything, gaining everything. After all that, no, he didn't plan for the Survey Corps to disband at all.

"Of course I do," he says. "But I'm not going to sit around and bitch about it."

Nanaba doesn't get a chance to answer before the barn door is pushed open. The horses shuffle a bit, whining, and Erwin enters. His presence is tall but feels haggard. Everyone stands at attention. Even Levi pushes off the wall.

"I figured as much," Erwin says.

Hanji waves the whiskey bottle. "Drink?"

Erwin's smile is soft. "No, and I think it's probably wise you all went back to your rooms."

They all nod, say sir and start breaking things up, Hanji tucking the whiskey bottle discreetly into their jacket like Erwin doesn't already know it's there. The mood is sour. Levi follows Erwin out without a word, the two of them stepping into the night in silence. A few hundred feet away from the barns, Erwin pulls a bottle from his jacket. It's whiskey. Levi snorts.

"You're a hypocrite, Squad Leader Smith."

"I never said they couldn't drink, I just said they couldn't drink there."

Erwin twists the bottle open and takes a drink before passing it to Levi. They walk together without any set destination, and Levi feels like Erwin already knows what he did. Erwin who is always two steps ahead, Erwin who never stops thinking. Levi passes the bottle back.

"You were gone awhile today," Erwin says.

"Yeah, I had to get new cleaning supplies."

Erwin takes a drink, nods.

"I'm surprised you took Hanji with you."

"Idiot wouldn't stop yapping unless I took them along."

Erwin chuckles at that, and Levi breathes.

"Yes, Hanji can be…convincing that way."

They stop near the trees and Levi can barely see without the moon out, his steps awkward and unsure in the grass. When he looks up, he can make out Erwin's features in the darkness, the drooping line of his mouth.

"Hey," he says, and when Erwin looks over at him, Levi leans up and kisses him.

Erwin meets him for it, mouth sour with whiskey, his hands clutching Levi's jacket. He pulls away and Levi thinks he might say something, something about Lobov, so he speaks first.

"I can't see a damn thing out here."

"You found my mouth easily enough," Erwin says.

"That's because it never shuts up."

Erwin's hand boldly squeezes his backside and they lean away from the trees, walking very close together until they get back to the buildings. Erwin doesn't say anything about Lobov, and Levi looks at the sky and knows this could be the last night he watches it freely.

--

The morning is quiet. It's cloudy. It's a tired sort of morning, but Levi is very awake anyway. He starts in the supply closet and then works his way out, face and hair covered, sleeves rolled up. He hasn't been able to clean properly in too long. It's a rest day and no one is really awake yet, which Levi uses to his advantage. He props open windows and gets down on his hands and knees to scrub the floors, remove the dirt and boot marks. Erwin has told him at least five times that he isn't required to do this, and every time Levi snorts and tells him to go do something useful instead of standing around telling him nonsense.

As the morning picks up, people walk in and out of the halls, all of them careful not to interrupt Levi's cleaning. They learned very quickly how serious Levi is about it. Mike walks by at one point, sees Levi, nods. A few minutes later he comes back with a cup of tea for him. Levi is dusting the middle shelves but he pauses to take the cup, Mike with his own in the other hand.

"Cleaning again?" Mike says.

"You say it like I do it too much. Have you seen how filthy these shelves get?"

"Can't say that I have, actually."

Levi takes a sip of tea. He skipped breakfast this morning and hasn't had his morning cup yet, so the warm liquid feels good on his throat, welcoming.

"Thanks," he says.

"Mhm," says Mike. "Figured you'd been cleaning all morning."

Levi nods and resumes dusting. He pulls the handkerchief back up and places the cup on the clean shelf before wiping off the last one within his reach. The higher shelves are always a bit more difficult. One of the downfalls of his height. But before Levi can pause to grab a chair, Mike extends a hand.

"I can reach the top shelf," he says.

Levi regards him with more suspicion than he means to, but he's not about to say no. He hands over the cloth and Mike dusts over the top shelf, teacup held out to avoid getting dirt in it.

"Is there a reason you're being so nice right now?" he says.

Mike laughs. When he smiles, he gets great big dimples like sideways saucers.

"I forget how blunt you are sometimes." He hands the cloth back to Levi. "You just seemed tired lately, is all. You and Erwin both."

Levi feels embarrassed for not having a response, because that certainly wasn't the answer he was expecting, but Mike talks again for him.

"I guess everyone is, though, considering. Maybe I'm trying to keep myself occupied also."

There are hurried footsteps down the hall and both men turn to see Shadis and Erwin walking, their movement quick and their faces set. Erwin barely passes at glance at them before following Shadis in the direction of his office.

"Wonder what that's about," Mike says.

Levi shrugs, heartbeat pressing against his ribs. "Who knows? Follow me into the meeting room, I've got another shelf you can reach."

--

Levi's never seen Erwin's body so tense before, as if it could ripple apart at any moment. He hovers with his back turned to Levi, shoulders rigid, and Levi knew this was coming eventually. It took all day. All day of Erwin and Shadis locked in his office and Levi wondering what happened, if it worked, if anything was going to change. It wasn't until after dinner that Erwin appeared in the frame of the mess hall door and locked eyes with Levi. He didn't have to say anything. Levi abandoned his tray and followed him into his office. The whole way he wondered what was waiting for him in Erwin's office. If he was going to be arrested, or maybe Erwin would tell him to just leave before anyone came for him. And here, now, it feels like an eternity before Erwin speaks.

"I received very interesting news today."

"…Oh?" Levi says.

"Lobov was found dead in his home this morning." Erwin glances over his shoulder at Levi. "Unofficial reports state it was a botched robbery—the thieves killed him, probably while making their escape."

Levi breathes out silently, relieved. But some part of him still feels hollow about it. He wanted to do it himself. He wanted to stand over him and watch the life slip from his eyes, wanted to feel his blood run warm over his hands and onto his face. He wanted, selfishly, cruelly, for Lobov to suffer at his hands.

"I hope they don't expect you to feel sorry for him."

Erwin turns and his presence is that much more commanding, his stature taller, his face darker.

"Levi, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

Erwin doesn't take that. "Levi."

He never actually planned on telling him, but with the way Erwin is looking at him now, the way he's asking him, Levi doesn't see any other way.

"People will do a lot of things for a pass above ground," he says. "Even murder someone. But I didn't do anything."

Erwin exhales and then walks forward, runs a hand through his hair and Levi watches as it comes away messy, falling over his forehead.

"You should have told me. You went behind my back—"

"I made a decision. Shit was bad and I made a decision." Levi presses his tongue against his teeth. "Do you trust me?"

Erwin's face softens at that and he leans closer reflexively.

"Levi," he says. "Why did you do it?"

Levi pokes Erwin's temple with his finger.

"Because you've got enough going on up there."

Erwin's mouth twists.

"Levi—"

"There was no point in both of us going down if it didn't work."

And that renders Erwin silent. His mouth and eyes drop wide. Levi feels guilty anyway, and he knew he would, but this was the way it had to be done.

"It was a crapshoot, Erwin, I didn't know if it would work. You've done too much good in this shitty world to go down for that. I'm just a thug from the Underground."

"You know that's not true," Erwin says.

Levi laughs, and it echoes sadly in the room.

"But you know I'm right."

And he's okay with that. He's spent all his life just trying to survive, and now there's something bigger than that. He doesn't mind. He'd die tomorrow if it meant they'd keep moving forward. Levi is strong, stronger than most. But he's not invincible, and he's not a leader. And Erwin knows that, Levi knows he does, because he runs his fingers softly over Levi's cheek, cups his jaw and squeezes lightly. He looks awed by him. Levi can't help the way the affects him. His face heats up, heartbeat thundering.

"You took that risk," Erwin says.

"I couldn't think of a good reason not to."

Erwin's fingers smooth over the skin of his cheek and jaw, tilting his head up.

"Levi…what you did…thank you," he says, and then his face all at once becomes serious, the face of an officer, a military man. "But do not ever take such serious action again without talking to me first, understood?"

Levi wraps his fingers over Erwin's wrist and hand, feels the marshmallow puffiness of the veins there.

"The way you say that makes it sound like you value my life more than your own."

Erwin laughs breathy but makes absolutely no attempt to deny it.

"Understood?" he says, as if Levi never said anything at all.

Levi's already slurring his words by the time he says yes and then Erwin is kissing him, kissing him and his whole body is against him, both their bodies angling in. It doesn't feel desperate or relieved. It feels like exactly what it is—two men kissing, and everything horrible around them is quiet for at least another moment. Erwin pulls back but keeps his hands on Levi's wrist, his voice barely a tremor:

"Take me to bed," he says. "Tell me everything that happened."

--

He isn't mad. Levi knew he wouldn't be, but he didn't expect the open show of pride on Erwin's face when he told him what happened. It made him flush, propped up on his elbows in Erwin's bed, the sheets pooling at his middle. Erwin lies on his side and watches him so openly that Levi has to stare at the pillow instead.

"You're being embarrassing," he says.

The bed shakes from Erwin's laughter.

"I expect we'll hear from Wilks by the end of the week."

Levi nods and pulls at a feather in the pillow, pulling until it blooms out from inside.

"Do you think anyone suspects?"

"As of right now, I haven't heard anything to indicate otherwise. There will be an investigation, of course, but…will anything turn up, Levi?"

"No," Levi says. "If they haven't found them now, they won't find them at all."

He twists the feather in his hand. It's white, grays at the bottom. Nena must be with Bill by now, and he's glad for it.

"Did they say how Lobov died?"

"It seems he awoke and caught the thief in his bedroom, though the altercation occurred in the hall. He was stabbed, several times, and found face down in a pool of his own blood."

Levi imagines it. Imagines Nena sneaking in, Lobov's terror upon waking. He imagines the knife puncturing his flesh over and over, the sound of it so slick and easy and then Lobov collapsing to his knees, the pain unimaginable. He imagines it.

"Well it's done now," Levi says. "But if we don't hear from Wilks soon we'll have to pay him another visit. Maybe this time we'll catch him while he's taking a shit."

Erwin shifts over and kisses his cheek, plucks the feather from his fingers. Levi watches him on his back, Erwin running his finger over the soft white hairs of it. He sets it on the bedside table and meets Levi's eyes.

"You've changed," he says.

Levi squints.

"I still bathe the same amount."

"I mean your attitude," Erwin says. "Everything. You've become so much more."

Levi looks away again. "Didn't I tell you to stop being so fucking embarrassing?"

He lets Erwin pulls him closer though, enough so that Levi is resting his head on Erwin's chest and listening to his heartbeat. He'd never imagined, not once in his whole wretched existence, that things would turn out like this. In fact, he'd always been pretty sure he'd never make it to adulthood. But he did, somehow, even if most times he had to scrape until his nails broke. Kenny always told him he was a resilient little brat. And he never expected Erwin. He never knew there could be someone like him in a world like this. Levi lets his hand drift to Erwin's arm and squeezes the muscle there.

"Hey," he says. "You know I would die if it meant defeating the Titans."

Erwin barely pauses.

"Are you giving me permission?"

"Yes."

He knows he doesn't have to. Erwin knows what's at stake. He knows what doing this means. He probably would not even hesitate if or when the time comes. Levi hopes he doesn't.

"Levi," Erwin says, softly, fondly, but does not say anything else. He doesn't have to.

--

Wilks does contact them, just before the week is up. His letter informs them that after great consideration, he's decided that the risk is necessary, and would be honored to fund them. Parliament will be meeting again in just a few days time to discuss further action.

"Everything is lining up," Erwin says. "Shadis and I will be traveling back to the Capital in a day or so to meet with them."

He looks brighter, more awake than he has in weeks. Everyone does. They're not quite in the clear yet, but there's hope now, and everyone is feeding off it. Training never stopped but it's stepped up now, the halls busy and alive with soldiers.

In Erwin's office, Levi helps him organize proposals and paperwork, both of them with their sleeves rolled up and Levi sitting on the desk. There are pieces of toasted bread between them, and Levi has fed a few of them to Erwin while he writes, shivering when Erwin's lips brush over his fingertips. He doesn't bother to slide off the desk when there's a knock on Erwin's door, not even when the visitor is revealed to be Shadis. He doesn't seem at all upset or even surprised to see Levi sitting on the desk. Even he looks a bit lighter.

"Levi," he says. "I thought I'd find you here."

"Yeah," Levi says. "What do you need?"

"Stop by my office in an hour, I have something to discuss with you." He nods to Erwin. "You too, Smith."

"We'll be there, sir," Erwin says.

After Shadis shuts the door, Levi hums.

"What was that about?"

"I haven't a clue," Erwin says, though Levi suspects that he does.

--

Shadis is standing when they enter is office. Erwin and Levi both salute, though even after all this time, it's still the one thing Levi really hates doing. They all remain standing, late afternoon sun spilling into the office and painting it orange.

"Thank you both for coming," Shadis says. "You both know there have been some changes happening as of late. Levi, I have not forgotten your request for candidacy as an officer."

Levi straightens, fingers twisted behind his back. He pushes a nail into the skin of his palm and waits.

"You've proved yourself an excellent soldier and a capable leader. Your show of change over these past months has made it clear to me, and to your superior officers, that you are ready for more responsibility. However, because of the…uniqueness of your situation, there's been a slight change."

"Change?" Levi leans forward. "What change?"

"I feel it would be remiss to remove you from Erwin's squad, given how well you work together. In fact, it's quite abnormal to be promoted through the ranks so quickly, no matter your skill level. I was quite prepared to deny your request for the time being. But a few days ago, Erwin thought of a solution I think you'll find agreeable."

Erwin hasn't moved until this moment. He looks down at Levi, and Levi can't help feeling a little irked. He hates being talked about, even for good reason. But he listens when Erwin speaks.

"You are, by far, the most skilled soldier we've had in our ranks," he says. "And so, starting today, you will undertake greater responsibility. You'll be in charge of selecting and training special operation teams, as well as assisting fellow Squad Leaders with expedition planning."

Levi expects to feel some kind of disappointment, but he doesn't. This is what he wanted. The title is irrelevant to him. He wanted to do more, and now he can. In the Underground, he pulled himself to the top fairly quickly. It's nice he can do it here as well, and with less killing.

"Do you accept this proposal?" Shadis says.

Levi glances at him, nail no longer puncturing his palm.

"Yes," he says. "I accept."

"I'm pleased to hear that," Shadis says. "We all are. You are a great asset, Levi."

He finally sits at his desk, body sinking into the chair as he shuffles some papers around.

"We'll have an official ceremony in a few days time—"

"I'd rather not," Levi says, lip curling.

Shadis looks up for a beat and continue talking.

"An official ceremony," he says. "And since you'll be an officer of sorts, you are required to come to the function banquet next week, provided Parliament approves our proposal."

Levi jerks sharply and looks at Erwin, who is skillfully, artfully, avoiding eye contact.

"A what?" he says.

--

Politics are weird to Levi. He considers himself a fairly simple person, despite all the shit he's been through. He's straightforward, blunt. But politics are too muddy and twisted for him to even bother trying to follow. Parliament had written them off not that long ago, funding had been pulled. They were in the shit. And now they're in the capital at a function banquet, surrounded by politicians and officers, members of the Military Police and Garrison alike. Everyone is pretending they like each other. Levi keeps himself pressed against the wall so that he might become part of the woodwork.

"Trying to melt into the wall?" Erwin says, having finally escaped the clutches of a noble.  

Levi scoffs as he hands him a glass of wine.

"This is the shittiest party I've ever been to."

"Oh, you go to a lot of parties, then?" Erwin says.

"Shut up."

"You're right, though. I can't stand these formalities. They're trite and boring."

Levi glances up.

"I don't think I've ever heard you actually complain before."

Erwin hums, sips his wine.

"Mike says I complain a lot, actually."

"Is that why he's always avoiding you?"

"Sharp," Erwin says. "But really, I despise the thought of being here when I could have you in my bed instead."

"Watch your mouth, Squad Leader," Levi says, and then brings his glass to his lips to hide the smirk threatening there and hopes the blush on his cheeks isn't obvious.

Erwin drains his glass, watching Levi over the lip of it with predatory eyes. They're all wearing formal jackets, but Erwin looks especially good in his. Too good, if Levi is being honest. The room is nice at least, that much he will admit. Its ceilings are high and hand-painted, long, thin windows lining the walls. Every bit of silver and glassware has been polished to perfection, and Levi would know. He's impressed by it, but it's hard for him to blindly appreciate it knowing what it's like for the rest of the population.

"Come on," Erwin says. "Time to mingle. It's much less painful than it sounds."

Levi doesn't have time to call bullshit before they're in with the wolves. The first table is full of old white men, just like every other table. One of the men stands, his beard bushy and white and impressive, and shakes Erwin's hand.

"Erwin Smith, always a pleasure." He glances at Levi. "And this must be…"

"Levi," Erwin says.

The man's eyes light up.

"Ah, yes, your right hand man."

"He is," Erwin says.

Levi's face warms slightly. The man with the beard extends his hand, sticky with spilled wine and appetizer sauce. Levi does not take it. There's a beat of awkward silence, and then Erwin laughs.

"Forgive him," he says. "Levi is quite fastidious about germs."

And the tension is gone just like that. The bearded man laughs, drops his hand.

"Say no more." He tucks his hands into the tailored pockets of his suit. "So tell me, Levi, is it true you were once a thug in the Underground?"

Levi jerks a thumb towards Erwin. "Yup, and he's the one who strong-armed me into all this."

A week ago, he stood in the sun and offered his heart to the Corps. All of them watched Shadis praise his efforts, then Erwin. And it was a small mercy that he didn't have to say anything. He just saluted, and they all saluted back, and Levi felt, for the first time in a very long time, a sense of belonging.

The bearded man laughs again, buttons threatening to pop open on his suit jacket.

"He's certainly like the rumors tell," he says to Erwin. "He's something else."

"He is," says Erwin, with absolute sincerity.

They swing around to a few more tables, Levi avoiding shaking hands with everyone, and Erwin even prepping a few people for the introduction by calling him shy. People are enamored with him because of his stories, his power. It still baffles Levi, but if it gets them funding, if it helps, he'll go along with it. Erwin eventually excuses them away and Levi escapes to the hall, feeling stuffy and shorter in his long formal jacket.

"Nice party, huh?" Hanji says.

They're sauntering up the hallway with an empty wine glass. Levi squints.

"Where the hell have you been all night?"

"Here and there," Hanji says.

They come to a stop and lean against the wall next to Levi, the smell of wine nearly overwhelming. Levi wrinkles his nose.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not nearly enough to deal with these sorts of things."

Hanji wiggles their empty wine glass sadly. Levi presses his head back against the wall, mentally prepping himself for another round. At least he knows Erwin is fine on his own in there.

"Hey," Hanji says, voice softer now. "What you had to do…your shopping trip…I guess it worked, huh?"

Levi rolls his head to the side and watches Shadis shake hands with another politician, both of them smiling, laughing.

"Yeah," Levi says. "…Thanks for your help."

"Will you ever tell me what you did?"

Levi pushes off the wall.

"No. And wipe off your glasses, you've got shit on them."

Hanji's laughter follows Levi into the main room as he stands beside Erwin again, ready for another round. Erwin guides him forward with a hand on his shoulder.

"Just a bit longer," he says, leaning down. "You're doing very well, thank you for coming along."

"Does this mean I get a reward after?"

"Most definitely," Erwin says, and Levi is almost positive he winks, but then his eyes are forward and he's standing straight, that sharp smile back in place. "Gentlemen, there you are. I have someone to introduce you to."

And Levi falls right into it with him, Erwin's hand on his back nearly the entire night.

--

"What did that old geezer call me earlier?" Levi says later, gasping.

Erwin's hands are squeezing his hips in encouragement. Levi is riding him hard, his knees scraping against the sheets. Their formal jackets are discarded on the floor along with the rest of their clothes. They both have wine on their breath. It was a near miracle they were able to keep their hands off each other in the carriage. Once Erwin got him in the room he ripped a button from the jacket undressing him and Levi didn't even scold him, he was that hot for it. He burned and shivered everywhere Erwin touched him, Erwin worshipping his body with his mouth. Levi took every pleasure in watching his pupils dilate as he crawled back onto the bed and spread his legs. Erwin's thumbs circle over his hipbones now and his hair is undone all over the pillow, corn silk on white.

"My right hand man," Erwin says.

"Yeah." Levi's thighs tense. "I liked that."

He brings a hand to his cock and shudders, feels it building down to his toes and the way Erwin is hot inside him.

"Levi," Erwin says, with all the affection he's capable. "My right hand man."

--

He watches the sun set on the rooftop. Isabel and Farlan found him up here that first night. They watched the stars together. Levi sits with his legs dangling over the side, eyes in slits against the orange sun. He still dreams about them. Sometimes it's more pleasant, a memory, an echo of a future they once discussed. Most times it's blood, Isabel's severed head in front of him. He wakes, breath escaping him, and if he's with Erwin, will curl against his body until he can breathe again.

Levi reaches into the jacket of his uniform and pulls out an envelope. It's blank, and Levi's never looked at the contents inside, but he knows what names are written there. Isabel Magnolia. Farlan Church. Levi sets them on the stone next to him and then pulls out the matchbox. He lights the edge of the envelope and it sparks orange and then curls brown. Levi holds the other corner as it burns, slow slow slow, burns until he can no longer hold onto it without singing his fingers. And once it's over, there is nothing but ashes that are quickly scattered by the wind, swirl up and then disappear from Levi's line of sight. He breathes out, lighter.

"What are you doing up here?"

Levi glances back and watches Erwin step onto the roof, hair golden in the sunset.

"Are you following me again?" Levi says.

Erwin grins. "You've caught me."

Levi shrugs, hands resting back on the stone of the roof.

"I felt like watching the sunset."

Erwin comes and sits next to him, dangles his legs next to Levi's. They sit in silence together, watching the sun slowly dip lower and lower. It's a gift, he thinks, sharing this kind of silence. He knows it won't last. Erwin's thigh is pressed against his, warm, real, alive.

"It is nice, isn't it?" Erwin says.

Levi nods, focus soft but occasionally, absurdly, scanning the horizon for ashes. He hopes the wind takes them over the Walls. He hopes it takes them as far away from this as possible.

"When you die," Levi says, "don't let it be for nothing. I hate pointless deaths. I'll make sure I do the same."

Erwin looks down at him, but he doesn't like surprised at his candidness.

"All right," he says. "That's fair."

Levi looks out past the tree line. If he squints, he can nearly see the smooth tip of the Wall and maybe just beyond. He wondered once if it were possible to go so far beyond you'd be able to touch the sun.

"But if we both make it through this to the end, I think I'd like to build a house by one of those giant rivers."

He feels Erwin tighten next to him, a nervous, excited twitch, but his voice is smooth and deep.

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah." Levi leans against Erwin's shoulder. "It does."

--

A month later, they leave for their next expedition. Two days in, Wall Maria falls.