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Published:
2020-09-21
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A Logical Conclusion

Summary:

Kirk and Spock have sex for the first time. Or, well.
They try to have sex. Apparently, there's been a misunderstanding.

Notes:

Taking the popular fanon of Vulcan retractable penises to the logical assumption humans would make, when faced with (1) Vulcan on a ship of humans.

Work Text:

Spock lets himself be pushed back against the bed, easily supporting Kirk's weight bearing down on him. The man presses kisses along his neck, holding him by the hips. Spock runs his hands down the human's smooth backside, still half-marveling, in one corner of his mind, that he's allowed these touches.

It's hardly the first time they've kissed – but it's the first time they've shed their clothes. Kirk has been surprisingly cautious, and it wasn't until tonight that Spock realized the man might never initiate sex; in deference to Spock's culture, which remains secretive about sexual exploits, Kirk clearly didn't want to presume.

Or maybe it's the power difference, or concerns about Spock's general reserve... either way, Spock formulated the hypothesis that Kirk would gladly engage in sex if Spock took the first step. As usual, he's been proven correct.

Kirk still seems a bit hesitant, though – maybe at the notion of sex with a man. He reaches down briefly to circle his thumb over the slit of Spock's wet penis-sheath, but quickly withdraws. Spock presses his hips forward, rubbing Kirk's own erection against that sensitive opening. Kirk gasps against his mouth, gripping at his shoulder.

It takes a good deal of arousal for Spock's penis to protract, but this stimulus is finally enough. He tugs Kirk closer, feeling the man's leaking hardness sliding over his stomach now. Maneuvering a hand between them, he strokes tentatively at the tip. Kirk kisses him again, again, making an encouraging sound.

Spock's own penis is half-out by this point. Again, he presses his hips upward.

Kirk yelps and tumbles off the bed.

Spock rolls over and stares. “Sir?”

Kirk makes a shocked, inarticulate sound. He seems – almost affronted, and confused, but not damaged. Maybe Spock made a misstep somehow. He rises to tug Kirk to his feet.

“Do you require medical aid?” Spock asks, carefully pressing him to sit on the bed again.

Kirk stares at him.

At one particular part of him.

“You have a penis,” he says.

“Yes,” replies Spock, nonplussed. “...Are you well, Captain?”

“You have a – you didn't have a penis before,” Kirk accuses.

“It is usually internal,” says Spock. “As is typical for Vulcans. Did you not know this?”

Kirk looks genuinely flabbergasted. “Spock,” he says at last. “You know how we have open showers in the gym?”

“Yes,” says Spock, since it seems like Kirk needs to have obvious things pointed out right now.

“Yes. Well. Everyone on the ship absolutely thinks you're transgender.” A beat. “Including me, until about... thirty seconds ago.”

“Interesting.” This might finally explain why one of their nonbinary pilots insists on approaching Spock over rooming issues, rather than the quartermaster. “I assumed humans were better educated on Vulcan anatomy by this point.”

Kirk stares at some midpoint past his shoulder, not hearing. “I read so many articles on gender dysphoria. And I kept rehearsing what to say, what questions to ask, in case you weren't comfortable with certain contact...”

“That sounds very thoughtful?” Spock offers.

“You're sure you aren't trans?”

“I believe I would have noticed, Captain.”

Groaning, Kirk falls back against the bed.

“Is this a problem?” Spock wonders.

Kirk is rather infamous for his exploits with women, but once their relationship began it never occurred to him that the captain might expect Spock to have a vagina.

“No!” Kirk says. “Not a problem, I'm just...” he trails off. Goes very still.

“...Jim?”

Kirk stands up and starts dressing hastily.

“Jim?”

The captain whirls around. “When I started researching, I asked Bones for some references,” he says through gritted teeth. “He thought it was hilarious, that – bastard - “

“Ah.”

“I'm going to kill him,” says Kirk grimly. He exits.

Spock stares at the ceiling, deflating against the bed. His sexual activity has been blocked by Dr. McCoy. Who isn't even in the room.

Typical.