Work Text:
Shakespeare was at the tavern, accompanied by his apprentices, trying to figure out a way to make his new story a comedy. He was blocked, as he'd been many times before, so he was looking for some inspiration on the booze.
"You shall not be so broody, master Shakespeare. You will find a way sooner or later," said one of the lads who acted on his plays.
"Oh, James! This time is different. I have no idea of what to do now. The story is just too dramatic to get good laughs from the audience. Maybe it would be better if I just dropped this one out."
"What do you mean? You have Claudio, the young lover and his sweet Hero. I couldn't wait to play the part!"
"But can't you see, James, my friend? The poor girl is defamed by the bastard Don John, and her wedding is over, so she have to pretend she is dead. How can I make someone laugh from that?"
"Claudio learned the truth and they had a happy ending. That's not enough?"
"I fear not," said Shakespeare, taking another sip of his beer. "I shall find a second couple to make it right, but how?"
The door of the tavern opened and Shakespeare heard a well known voice from the past. How could he forget about the marvelous Doctor that he had met once upon a time? He looked at the couple that entered that door, and saw the tall and thin man, as young as he remembered. Shakespeare raised from his seat, reaching the man while his apprentices watched, surprised by their masters almost hypnotic state.
"Doctor? Is that you?" he asked.
The man turned back. He looked even younger closer. The Doctor grinned, a bit admired.
"Shakespeare, old fellow!"
"Dear God, it is really you," said Shakespeare, hugging his old friend. "It's been so long, but you still look the same, not a year older."
"You, in the other hand, changed a lot. What happened with your hair?"
Shakespeare laughed. He wasn't bald the last time they met, actually he used to be an attractive man for all the ladies in town.
"What about sweet lady Martha, from Freeland? Still traveling with you?"
"Martha? No, not anymore. But she is fine, she will marry a guy. No as smart as I am, but at least he is… well... I don't know him. But she is happy, and that's what really matter, right?"
Before the author could reply, a woman came in their direction. She was the ginger who entered the tavern with the Doctor, and she had a mug of beer on her hand.
"Here you are, Spaceman. I was looking for you. Have you seen what they have here?" she raised the mug, happy.
"What? I told you it was going to be fast. Why are you drinking?"
"Doctor, you never change. Always traveling with a lovely lady. Is she your wife?" asked William.
"No, she is not…"
"I'm not his wife…"
Both answered at the same time, annoyed to have to explain that again.
Shakespeare smiled.
"Oh! So tell me nymph, how shall I call such a beauty?" he took her hand, kissing it, and Donna giggled. The man wasn't that handsome, but he had his way with words. The Doctor looked at her as to question what she was doing, but Donna just ignored him.
"Donna," she said, all seductive. "Donna Noble."
The Doctor just rolled his eyes.
"Donna, this is William Shakespeare."
"Shut up!" she said. "You can't be serious. Am I really flirting with William Shakespeare? The author William Shakespeare? Hamlet-guy-Shakespeare?"
"Is there any other?" asked the Doctor, with a sly smile.
"Nerys is gonna be so jealous!" said Donna. "She always says that I don't know anyone important. Well, now I flirted with William Shakespeare."
"I thought that I was important!" complained the Doctor.
"You are no Shakespeare though," she said.
The author laughed.
"Mr. Shakespeare, I'm a big fan. Huge! To be, or not to be. That's the question," she said, in a pompous way.
"Very well said, lady," said Shakespeare, kissing her hand.
"Why you never told me that you knew him before?" she asked, hitting the Doctor.
"Well, you know. A lot of stuff to do, a lot of places to see… I don't talk all the time about people I've met. You couldn't handle it."
"Oh, but you do! Not a day goes by without you babbling about flirting with Cleopatra, or snogging Madame de Pompadour. I see you, Spaceman!"
"What are you doing here, Doctor? Paying an old friend a visit?" asked Shakespeare having no idea who this Madame de Pompadour was.
"I wish, Will, but I was just passing by… You haven't seen a small creature made of fat walking here, have you? It is kind of cute, playful too. Well, when it is not drunk. This one has come to teenage years… You know how teenagers can be. Or not! This concept wasn't invented in your time, right? Well, it's like Romeo and Juliet, young, impulsive, silly ideas, pimples… What was I saying anyway?"
"Doctor…" called Donna.
He just ignored it. Whatever Donna wanted to tell him, that could wait his marvelous explanation.
"Doctor…" she called again, impatiently.
"Wait Donna, I'm talking with William."
"Oh, for God's sake, look at that," she said, grabbing his chin and turning his head. The little adipose was drinking beer directly from a mug over one of the tables.
"Oh! Here we go!" he said, running and grabbing the little adipose with the mug. The poor alien got stuck in it. "Oh no, you are not escaping anymore. Do you know how much trouble you got me into?"
The Doctor came back with the mug on his hands.
"It's incredible. You said he is made of fat?" asked the Bard, quite impressed.
The little adipose waved him "hello", and then hiccupped by accident.
William Shakespeare waved at him.
"That's magnificent! I'm waving at fat!" he said.
"You have no idea, mate," said Donna. "Stay there, Frank."
"You called him Frank?" asked the Doctor, looking at the little fellow on the mug.
"Why not? It's a great name" said Donna.
"Donna, we don't give adiposes names. They are not pets," said the Doctor.
"But he liked it, right Frank?" asked Donna, and the small creature gave Donna a thumbs up. She looked at the Doctor pleased, but he was outraged.
"Stop teaching him those things!" said the Doctor.
"Oi! I will teach him anything I want. Understand, Alien boy?" asked Donna, staring at him on her power pose. He scoffed, looking away. Shakespeare just hid a laugh.
"Stop making much ado about nothing" she winked at the Doctor, proud of her dad joke. He just rolled his eyes.
"That's interesting. Can I use that?" asked William.
"Sure. Copyright Donna Noble," she said, winking
The Doctor looked at her as a disapproving parent, but Donna just ignored it.
"Well, everything is good, but it's time to go. William, that was a pleasure to see you again. Donna, let's go!"
"Really? That fast? I didn't have time to ask him anything," said Donna.
"Won't you stay, at least for a drink?" asked Shakespeare, hopeful.
"I'm sorry, Will, but meeting you was already more than we should've done. Come on Donna, we have to go now. His parents might be worried."
"Oh, you have all the time of the universe. Just wait a few more minutes."
"Donna, I can't. Somethings can't be changed because of…"
"I know! I know! Paradox and stuff. Very convenient, I say. I'm going… But just let me ask one question, okay?"
"Donnah! Now!"
"Fine! That's always his way!" she said to Shakespeare. "That was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Shakespeare."
"You too, beautiful lady."
Shakespeare stood there, watching the pair getting out of the tavern, probably forever. He laughed. "And they say they are not married…" he talked to himself. Then, an idea formed on his brain. Suddenly, he was more than inspired. He had to go write!
"James, my friend, this one is on you!" he said, going out from the tavern, back to this room upstairs.
Shakespeare rushed to find some paper and a feather. He barely had the time to sit, he just emerged the tip of the feather into the black ink and rested it on the paper. The Bard wrote the title in a cautiously drawn handwrite. That was a good one, he could feel it, very compelling indeed. And for the main characters... Donna and Doctor couldn't be. D… B… Ba… Beatrice! What a lovely name! And B… Benedict! Beatrice and Benedict! It was looking promising already.