Work Text:
Who is Kara Zor-el
"...just like I would any other villain" those were the kryptonian's last words before she left the balcony of Lena's penthouse, the latest still staring at the spot where her former best friend once was standing.
"..and that's what she said!" an unfamiliar voice was heard behind the younger Luthor making her jump slightly and stay defensive as she turned towards the voice seeing a strange man standing next to the kitchen island wave at her with a friendly smile.
"Who the hell are you?" she was ready to activate the security sistem of the penthouse to defend her in case the man was some kind of assassin or maybe a lunatic, he was clearly a lunatic , she thought to herself, why else would some stranger sneak inside her apartment this late at night?
"Oh, how rude of me not to introduce myself… I am Mr. Mxyzptlk!" said the man in a breive reverence still with the same smile in his face
"Mx… what?" the brunette looked at him with curiosity, despite the little suspicion, maybe because there's a strange man with a strange name standing in the middle of her penthouse.
"You can call me Mxy, that's how Kara calls me actually.."
"Oh I see, if she can't convince me not to work with my brother herself she sands someone else to do it!" Lena assumes with sarcasm in her voice "That's what happens when Kara and Supergirl stop being different people in my life, she could use Kara everytime Supergirl didn't work, right?" there's bitterness in her short laughter which cuts the heart of the 5th dimension being
"Y'know… she really tried" the woman's attention goes back to the man as she closes the entrance for her balcony "I mean.. to win you back. She misses you a lot" Lena arched an eyebrow as if asking him to continue "I've never seen Kara so devastated as she was at the possibility of losing you forever, she must really love you"
"And why does it matter?" said the brunette walking towards the island where her tea was once forgotten since the arrival of the kryptonian a feel minutes earlier "she lied to me about who she was ever since the day we met.. and she kept lying. everyday." she took a sip of her tea before continuing "I don't know who she is anymore, bet I never knew, I don't know anything about Kara Danvers"
"Actually you do know everything about Kara Danvers, and you know something about Supergirl as well" Mxy's voice caught her attention once more "who you don't know, is Kara Zor-el, the last daughter of Krypton" said with a little too much enthusiasm for the current situation "but luckily, I can help you learn a thing or two about the real Kara, the one you wish you've known in the first place" this was something cought Lena's interest, knowing everything about the girl of steel, and who she really was behind that hero that claimed itself for being flawless and that sweet reporter who always pretended to be so kind and supportive around her.
"And how exactly does it work?" that was the real question, how could this stranger show her everything she wanted to know.
"I studied her entire life" the arch of brow from the brunette showed her confusion "I… tried to marry her once" He answered a little ashamed of admitting it to the blonde's former best friend "unfortunately she preferred the daxamite… What was his name again? Mon-el?" there is still some bitterness in his voice when saying the daxamite's name "Anyway, although Kara dismissed my help, your story touched my heart, and I'm extremely committed in fixing your relationship with our kryptonian friend, for yours and her sake, so let's begin!" in a snap of fingers the TV was turned on showing Mxyzflix on the screen "where do we start?" Mxy said scrolling down the titles of Kara's memories
"How do you even have this? Isn't this violation of privacy?" Lena incredulously looked from the 5th dimension being to the TV, curiosity being stronger than her moral as she searched over the titles as she sat on the couch with her tea cup in hands.
"I'm a 5th dimension being, I can be wherever and whenever I want"
"Krypton" was the first title that caught her attention
"Ok let's see what we have here" Mxy clicked on the title and it started playing
The screen showed a white room, with walls with details in wood, all illuminated with light red light coming from a big window. There's a big round bed in the middle of the room, the furniture is clearly not from earth.
After giving a good look at the room, Lena saw a little girl sitting on the edge of the bed holding a small object in both her tiny hands the brunette couldn't quite tell what it was. The girl had long blonde hair and cute bands, and was wearing what looked like a white pyjama with the famous S on the chest.
A noise coming from the door kept her attention from the object and soon a woman with brown curly hair, Lena soon remembered being Supergirl's mother, entered followed by a tall man with some white strands in his short black hair, both of them with bright blue eyes like Kara's.
"Kara" Lena thought to herself, the little girl was Kara
"Mom, dad" T he girl greeted her parents with a big warm smile, hiding the object behind her. Lena knew that smile, the one the reporter always sent in her direction, the kindness emanating from it. No! She couldn't let herself be softened by that smile, not again.
"What's it you have there sweetie?" The woman, Alura , asked smiling gently as she approached the bed sitting beside her child.
"mmmm nothing, it's not ready yet" the little girl kept hiding the object, insecurity filling her bright blue eyes at the curious stare of her parents "it's ugly" she took the object off of her back and showed to them, what now Lena could see it looked like a little statue made of some kind of steel, silver and shiny "the wings are crooked" Kara complaint a little disappointed at her new creation.
The man came closer to the bed and kneeled in front of the girl with a proud smile in his face taking the statue in his hands "it's perfect, darling, it looks beautiful" he said truthfully getting the little one to smile widely becoming proud of her own work "I'll put it in the living room for everyone to see how talented my daughter is" said getting up "let's go Jor-el and Lara came to visit us, they brought Kal-el with them today" Lena watched as the three of them left the room
"Kal-el, isn't that Superman's real name?" Lena asked as she saw little Kara holding a baby and smiling at him while the adults talked, she looked so happy "he is supposed to be older than Supergirl"
"Indeed" Mxy answered when the TV skipped from that scene for the day Krypton exploded.
"I love you Kara" was the last words they heard from Alura on the TV before everything exploded and there was nothing but a single pod floating in space.
"She got trapped in that phantom zone for twenty years before landing on Earth, and that's why she didn't age and it's younger than her cousin on this planet" Mxy explained as the scene finally ended "so… where are we going now?" he turned to Lena waiting for her to choose another title from the screen.
The brunette watched Mxy scroll down the screen as she searched for another title "what's that one?" she asked pointing at an image of Kara and James in some kind of shed "Anger behind the anger?" was the title
"Well this scene is good, not good, it's sad, but it's so honest, exactly what we're looking for, today" the 5th dimension being clicked on it.
"...and I hate that I'm never gonna get to have a normal LIFE" they watched as Kara punched the car until the engine was thrown to the other side of the shed scaring both James and her "oh my God… Cat was right, there is anger behind the anger" she said with shock in her voice
"Kara?" This was James "are there some other feelings about Krypton that I don't know about?" he asked stepping closer to the blonde.
"No it's not that… " she said walking away from him "I thought I was mad seeing you.." she turns around to face him again "seeing you and Lucy makes me think that I'm never gonna have what you two have! Someone who knows everything about me, my perfect partner at a game night" there was a bitter laughter at the end of it.
Lena remembered Kara talking about Lucy Lane in one random conversation between them, she was James's ex girlfriend before Kara.
"Kara, you will find someo…" James's voice was cut of.
"Growing up on Earth I never felt normal! And I always thought that.. if I started using my powers my life would make sense. But I'm realizing that being myself doesn't make me feel more normal!" the kryptonian stopped herself for a second or two allowing Lena to see the frustration in her best friend's face "..and it never will! Because my normal life ended the second my parents put me on that ship, and that makes me so.. Mad" the last word leaving her mouth hardly was truly heartbreaking
"There's something Kara told me tonight" Lena looked at Mxy as soon as the scene ended waiting for him to continue "That she felt normal around you. She told me she could be herself with you, without having to think about the weight of her losses and of the world in her shoulders, she forgot she was Supergirl when the two of you were together"
".. and I kept thinking… if I could be Kara, just Kara, that I could keep you as a friend" Lena remembered part of their talking the day Kara told her she was Supergirl, but the Luthor was not willing to think deeper about that, she still felt betrayed and used after all, she was still mad at Kara, or Supergirl, or whoever the girl was now
"Did Cat Grant know her true identity?" she asked as the question popped in her head
"I believe so… but she kept pretending she didn't" Mxy said while searching a scene on the TV "probably because of Kara's effort to deny and convince Cat Grant that she wasn't Supergirl" he found the scene and clicked on it
"...and let's not forget that you took it personally when I named her Supergirl" the former owner of Catco's voice drove Lena's attention back to the TV, where she saw the two blonde women at Catco's balcony.
"huh.. sure, for political reasons, I.." Kara was cut of by her boss
"Do me a favor and take off your glasses" Cat almost ordered
"My glass…?" The younger woman stammered "I… I can't! I'd be blind without them" she said laughing nervously
"I doubt that" the piercing eyes of her boss were making it more difficult for Kara to hide who she really was at this point "If you're not who I think you are, then why does it matter?" the older woman asked in a bored tone .
"Miss Grant I…" her nervous giggling was once again interrupted by Cat
"Glasses, or I take it as a confirmation" Kara soon realized she had no other choice but to take off her glasses and face her boss's persistent curiosity, and so she did, looking Cat straight in the eyes without the glasses between their gazes "well… let me begin by saying thank you for all the help that you've given me, Supergirl" Cat waved her glass of scotch in her assistant's direction with an amused smile in her face.
"She found out on her own" Lena said more to herself
"It can't be that difficult, c'mon, it's just a pair of glasses" Mxy said in an amused tone that soon was gone as he saw the deadly expression on the Luthor's face "...maybe I should stop talking" he concluded "what do you want to see now?"
"give me the remote, I'll search it on my own" Lena said taking it from Mxy's hand, scrolling up and down the screen searching for some deep sentimental scene, those were to be the most honest "this one now" She found another memory of Cat Grant, this one was from the Daxamite invasion.
"So... Who's up there?" The Queen of all media asked "Oh please, we both know Winslow can't keep his mouth shut" they smiled slightly
Kara sighed, she was in her Supersuit "It's my boyfriend and my best friend" she looked up to the sky "Maybe the president and Alex are right, Supergirl has the responsibility of protecting everyone.. but all I can think about its the fact that two people I love are trapped in that ship and if we destroy it, we'll destroy them too, and... It'll break my heart" she looks at Cat with affliction all over her face "I'm selfish..." another sigh.
"Nah, it's not selfish" the other woman answer "It's human" she says facing the hero and gives her some speech about the reason she left National City that Lena didn't care to pay much attention "Sometimes it's not about what you do, but about who you love" Cat smiles tenderly "And there are two people you love trapped in an evil spaceship, wanting to save them is not selfish... It's everything"
Lena was perplexed, how could Cat be so understanding about the Super's secret identity? She knew about it all the time and she didn't say a thing, and she managed to be close to both Kara Danvers and Supergirl, that woman was something else.
The memory ended eventually and she clicked at an image of Supergirl's angry face using her heat vision. Another one that looked very sentimental and honest.
"Did you use me to get Astra arrested?" Lena watched as the girl of steel rushed into a room with a hologram of Alura in it's center "Did you use me to draw Astra out of hiding?" Kara asked again ignoring the emotionless greeting from the hologram
"Yes" The hologram responded simply
"How could you do that?" the Luthor recognize the hero's voice starting to break.
"Astra had broken a law, you were the only person she trusted enough to meet, it was necessary-"
"Could she have saved us?" Kara raised her voice interrupting the hologram's explanation
"She was a criminal"
"But was she right?" her tone a bit more louder
"I'm not programed to give you that information-"
"Tell me!" this time she was already screaming in anger as tears formed around her eyes
"I'm sorry, I'm not programed-"
"You let every one that I love die! You left me!" the tears were now rolling down her red cheeks due to the anger "You left me alone, you sent me away, how could you do that?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not programed to give you that infor-" And then came the crying angry scream as the hero attacked the hologram with her heat vision, until this one was shut off by Alex
"Hey, she's not real" The older woman held Kara in her arms trying to calm her down.
"She lied to me…" the blonde mumbled in her sister arms in her crying tone
"Alex" Lena started searching for memories of the Danvers sisters, Alex was probably the only person who got to have Kara's most honest side. If she wanted to know about the true Kara it would have to be through her sister.
"You're out there now Kara! And you can't take that back" she heard the scolding tone from the DEO's agent as she clicked on the memory of the day Kara became Supergirl
"I didn't travel two thousand light years just to be an assistant" It was the girl's answer to the scold her sister was giving her.
Lena skipped the scene to another one.
"Hank didn't kill Astra, I did" it was Alex talking again, this time her voice was trembling "..and when you got there, and he saw how devastated you were… he took the blame, and I let him" the agent's voice was breaking as she looked at Kara with teary eyes "Because I was afraid.. of losing you, and I can't lose you" she cried and in a blink of eyes Supergirl was involving her sister in a tight and warm hug.
She skipped to another scene again noticing she was starting to soften again.
"Who are you right now? Kara Danvers doesn't quit" it was again Alex's scolding tone
"She quits the things that aren't important" there's something strange in Kara's voice, Lena only heard her speak in that tone on the CEO's first day as Catco's new boss, this only meant one thing, it had to do with Mon-el.
"Catco is important! You help people there" Alex looks concerned
"Not like Supergirl does" Kara replied harshly as she put something on the fridge.
"Kara Danvers-" Alex is cut of by her sister.
"Kara Danvers sucks right now!" Kara explodes turning to face the older Danvers "Supergirl is great, Supergirl saved the world! If I could choose to be her, why would I ever choose to be the sad girl whose boyfriend is gone? I don't like that girl, Alex" Lena's heart tightens in her chest seeing the blonde like this, and knowing that in some way, it was her fault.
"Get over him? He didn't dump me" The bunette lost track of the conversation for a moment "I sent him away, and for all I know he's.. never mind"
"I made her send him away.." Lena mumble to herself blamefully
"Clark said it himself, the decision I made" there's a sarcastic giggle "he couldn't have made that sacrifice, but me? I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't" Kara's voice was cold in a way Lena had never heard her speak before "I will always make the decision I made, I am not a human, tried to be, but I'm not" she looks into Alex's eyes "Kara Danvers was a mistake"
The brunette saw Alex stopping at the door before leaving Kara's apartment "Kara Danvers… is my favorite person! She saved me more times than Supergirl ever could! So.. just think about that while you're trying to get rid of her!" and then she left slamming the door shut.
This probably should be one of the worst moments of Kara's life and Lena didn't even know it, because of that damn secret. Lena saw the Red Kryptonite memory there, but at this point, knowing what redk does, she couldn't handle seeing Kara drawing in another level of darkness even deeper than the one she just saw.
"I've never been challenged like that before, y'know, to my face" In this memory Kara was in a farm with Clark Kent "tell us who you are, Supergirl" Kara said as if imitating someone else's voice "Well, except for Miss Grant"
"Well, I'm sure it must be harder when it's the president doing the threat" Clark replied in an amused tone.
"Cat was scarier" they both laugh in agreement "Do you think I did the right thing?"
"Our secret identity is there to protect the people we love from being threatened by our enemies" of course Lena knows Clark Kent is Superman "there aren't a lot of things more important than that"
With that Lena was brought back to the night of the Pulitzer for the second time "I convinced myself that I was protecting you" it was what the reporter said trying to justify hiding her identity from her. Maybe it was the truth, maybe in the end Kara never cared about her last name.
"I am trying to apologize to you Kara, that explosion could've killed you" Lena found a memory of Kasnia
"It wouldn't have" She watched the blonde getting up and taking off her glasses, but her own self from the memory wasn't looking at Kara in that moment "Lena.." Kara called her, but she didn't turn around, too worried talking about Eve's treason, too drawn in her own thoughts.
"There's no way I can trust anyone ever again, if it wasn't for your friendship, and your integrity" before Lena could face the reporter, she put back her glasses.
Kara tried to tell her , but she couldn't, not at that moment. The brunette wondered what would've happened if she had succeeded.
"Lena is not a member of Cadmus!" this was the memory from the day Lena got arrested and then kidnapped by
Metallo and Lillian "She's not!" Kara was in the DEO's medbay with the rest of the superfriends standing up for Lena for the first time "She's my friend, and I believe in her" that made it impossible for the black-haired woman to contain a smile
Lena was finally starting to realize that she in fact knew the real Kara, if it wasn't for her other identity. The Kara she let in her life, that Kara who she let hug her and comfort her whenever something bad happened, whenever she did something bad, the Kara who always stood up for her, the Kara she secretly fell in love with, was the real Kara.
Lena loved Kara, she tried to deny it, tried to hide it, even from herself, especially after the way the girl hurt her. But she fell in love with the cute reporter from the moment she first entered her office in Clark Kent's shadow, and she could not push that feeling to the back of her head again, not now, after she realized that despite the Supergirl deal, Kara was honest with her about everything else.
Another memory caught her attention, it looked different from the others, this one was recent, when she was about to click on it Mxy intervened.
"Huuuuh maybe we should stop now, I think you already realized what you needed to, right?" he tried to get the brunette's attention from the TV, she wasn't supposed to see that particular memory.
"Are you trying to prevent me from seeing this memory? What's the matter about it?" Lena raised her brow at the man, threatening to click in it
"Humm none, but I think you've already seen what needed to see, no need to keep looking"
"Ok, so I'll just see this last one then" She clicked before Mxy could stop her.
"You didn't tell her??" It was another memory with Alex but in this one Kara had already cut her hair. Lena remembers that dress, Kara was wearing it during the day of the Pulitzer party night
"It's not my fault, I had to take the dog to the vet" it was Kara's explanation for whatever that conversation was about
"You don't have a dog, Kara!"
"My neighbor's dog, Mrs. Stein!" Kara said getting a 'cmon' mumbled from Alex in response
"You have to tell Lena that you're Supergirl" So that's what the conversation was about "When I told you to hold of, I just meant for one night" Alex continued with her usual scolding sistery tone
"It's.. there's just so much going on… " the blonde girl starts with her infinite rambling until her sister stops her
"But you're doing all these other things when there's just one thing that you need to do!" Alex's voice softens
"I know" the reporter sighs "now I'm being given an award for my tireless pursuit of the truth.. and I'm a liar" she laughs sadly "I'm terrible"
"You're not terrible, you're just scared" Alex tries to comfort her
"Alex, I'm so scared! I'm so scared she's never gonna forgive me. I mean, what kind of person lies to their best friend for this long? I'm so scared of losing her forever" Kara gets up from the table with her sister "I can't lose her Alex, she just…" Kara stops herself for a moment as if choosing the right words "means so much to me" Alex arched an eyebrow at her direction with a mischievous smile "What?"
"How much, Kara?" She asks, seeing red spreading all over her little sister's face and ears "Kara Danvers, if I didn't know you any better I'd say you're trying to come out to me?" The agent laughed playfully
"You know we didn't really care about sexuality back in Krypton"
Alex's smile widens at the sight of her sister running away from the main subject "You love her" she concludes based on the reddened face of the speechless young reporter in front of her "c'mon I'm not blind Kara I've been watching your 'friendship' with her for the past three years now" the red-haired rolls her eyes
"I love her, Alex … " Kara mumbles looking down to the ground
"A Super in love with a Luthor, that's a first" Alex laughs amused at the cuteness of Kara Danvers being a mess because of another woman "Now you have two secrets to tell her, be brave, sis"
"She loves me" Lena turned off the TV and glared at Mxy.
"You know what's the problem with you two?" Mxy started when Lena looked at him "You keep hurting each other instead of fixing things, and you hurt each other in the deepest scars you have in your hearts" the 5th dimension being continued getting closer to the Luthor "She violated your trust, and treason is your deepest scar, and then you abandoned her, and coincidentally her deepest scar is being left, being alone, you both were traumatized by these feelings" he explained taking the CEO's hand in his own "and unless you two figure out a way to fix your relationship, it won't heal, you find healing in each other, you need each other, you always have" Mxy looked deeply in her eyes, deep down Lena knew it was true, she wouldn't last much longer without the bright and warm smile of her hero, Kara really was her hero "and believe me, when I was with Kara, we experienced a world where you two never met, it wasn't pretty, it fell apart, the whole world fell apart actually"
"But she gave up" Lena replies with tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.
"Because she was tired of try and fixing things alone, this can't be an one-sided effort"
"I may fix this" the Luthor got up from the couch putting her cup of the, now, cold tea on the kitchen island (because she forgot to drink it) "Thank you Mr...?"
"Mxyzptlk!" He said getting up with a proud smile in his face "Thank you for letting me help you Lena"
"I didn't realize I needed help, and I'm glad you did" Lena took her coat and keys.
"Where are you going this late at night?" Mxy watched her as she stopped at the door.
"I'm going to try" it was her answer before she left the penthouse with only one destination in her mind.
__________________
It was near to 2 in the morning and Kara couldn't fall asleep, Alex and Jonn had left long ago, she was alone again with her thoughts, shrunken on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate as if its sweetness had the power to end her suffering somehow.
The reporter was so lost in her thoughts that the knock on her door made her jump slightly, she didn't use her x-ray vision, her eyes were too tired because of the recent crying, she rubbed them wiping away the remaining tears and went to open the door.
And she was there, the last person Kara expected to see so soon, and the same one that never left her thoughts in a long time by now.
"..Lena?" she considered rubbing her eyes again in case this was some kind of hallucination.
The CEO's heart tightened seeing her beloved's teary eyes and red cheeks with tracks of tears, the only thing she wanted to do was to hug her and never let her go again, and that's exactly what she did wrapping her arms around the hero's trembling body.
"I'm sorry" the brunette whispered as she stroked the blonde locks with one hand feeling Kara starting to relax in her embrace, burying her face in Lena's shoulder and wrapping her arms around the woman's waist tightly.
"I'm sorry too, so sorry.." Kara looked so small in her embrace, her voice barely leaving her throat.
"Shhh it's ok, we don't have to talk about it now" she said as she directed them to the couch, not letting go from the hug for even one second.
They were now laying on the couch, Kara's face buried in Lena's chest, calming herself down with the Luthor's warmth all around her, she missed that warmth so much.
"I love you" the kryptonian's voice was muffled by Lena's chest, but the brunette still was able to hear it, and couldn't fight the wide smile that spread across her face, maybe Kara was faded to tell Lena her secrets after she already discovered them.
"I love you too" she looked down at those bright beautiful blue eyes that were now facing her with surprise "What?" her hand was still tracing the girl's blond strands.
"You love me?"
"Oh darling.." Lena giggled slightly, Kara's obliviousness was the cutest thing in the world "How couldn't I?" the blonde grinned widely hiding her face on the dark-haired woman's chest again, getting a kiss on the top of her head in return "I'll always love you, no matter what"
"Promise?"
"I promise"
And so they fell asleep entangled in each other on the couch with the realization that they could never be separated.