Work Text:
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that
Change!
“You know what, we don't have time for this. He's sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded. There, you got all the basics, now what does he need to do to see a doctor?“
Jacob almost dropped the tray he was taking from room 16. Curious, he pushes the dirty dishes into the tray trolley and goes towards the voice. He watches the four men at the reception from a safe distance. His heart leaps and his palms become moist. It is really him. After all these years, Dean Winchester. He seems little changed; just the same arrogant asshole, that makes everyone jump to his command.
The second person is also familiar to Jacob, although not personally. Sam, Dean's younger brother, who ironically was so much taller than Dean. Worry and lack of sleep is written all over Sam`s face. Disappointingly, Jacob has to realize that Sam apparently still has contact with Dean. In almost all his fantasies, and Jacob has developed some over the years, Sam has rejected Dean, sometimes even beaten him up or killed him. Seeking revenge for the murder Dean committed seven years ago.
Two more men are with them. An even older man, also with a worried look, and a boy, probably Jacob's age. The boy does not seem well. There's blood on his white shirt and he is very pale. Did they do this to the boy? He wouldn't put it past them.
Jacob watches the boy suddenly collapse and two nurses rush to get him on a stretcher. Together with the three men, they push him into the next intensive care room.
While the young man is being examined and the three men wait outside, Jacob sneaks over to one of the computers at Eastern Plains Hospital. With trembling fingers, he loads the file card of the man. Jack Kline, born May 18th 2000, hardly older than Jacob himself. Father deceased, no information about the mother. Did the Winchesters kidnap him? Is the young man in trouble?
Jacob goes back to the break room, puts his badge in his pocket and tells Jenny that he is taking a break. Not that he has to. For the past year, he's been helping out as a volunteer at the hospital. Handing out food, collecting the dirty dishes. Has a few kind words for the patients. Everyone praises his friendly nature.
They would probably all be horrified to see the dark brutal thoughts Jacob often goes to bed with. Revenge is his motivation. It is what drove him, at 16, to leave the safe custody of Uncle Akuma. The man who opened the door to him seven years ago in the middle of the night and, for the second time in his life, took in a distraught, frightened child.
Like his mother back then, Akuma helped him. Akuma was no Kitsune, but he knew what Jacob was and helped him. He was the chief surgeon in Missoula at the time, an advantage when it came to removing a pituitary gland from a deceased person unnoticed.
Because even though Jacob often found it difficult, especially as a young adolescent, he will never break his promise. No one's gonna die because of him. No one but one person, Dean Winchester.
It was very hard for him at first, after his mother was killed. Nightmares would come back to haunt him, and he missed his mother the time.
He fought with a schoolmate whose green eyes reminded him too much of the man who took away the most important thing in his life. The man looked at him with an icy cold gaze as his mother's fresh blood bled from his knife onto the motel carpet.
He will never forget those eyes, never forget the cold words coming out of Dean's mouth. He had just killed her, without compassion. His mother, who worked double shifts at the mortuary, so that she could give Jacob and herself a comfortable life. To which he would crawl into bed at night and she would tell him stories about her wildest fantasies. who stroked his cheek tenderly every morning before he went to school.
And from one second to the other, the life was out of her; she lay pale and silent on the bed, the red blood stain under her that was getting bigger and bigger. And the little boy lay down with her, never wanting to get up again. He only left when her lifeless body became so cold and stiff that he knew that her soul was no longer with him.
To Dean Winchester, his mother was just a job. To Jacob, she was everything.
Jacob slips into the nurses' station and gets a fresh syringe. In the storage room, he unscrews the first bottle of high-octane detergent he can find. Emotionlessly, he draws the syringe into the deep blue cleaner.
He doesn't care what happens to him today, whether he survives or not. But one thing's for sure- Dean Winchester is gonna get a stab in the heart like his mother did seven years ago. Uncle Akuma said he was crazy to go to Kansas City. "What are you hoping to find there?"
For Jacob, one thing was certain. If there's a way to find a Hunter, and live undetected at the same time, it's through a hospital, with networked data retrieval. And it should all pay off today.
The syringe hidden in his hoodie makes him look like a regular hospital guest. Inconspicuously he sneaks past the big window where the boy Jack is being treated. Sam and the other man stand worriedly in front of the window. They seem to be really anxious, Jacob notices as he walks past. Around the next corner Jacob sees him. Dean Winchester is standing in front of a coffee machine, his left hand resting on the machine while the hot liquid runs into the plastic cup. Jacob stands behind him. His hand grasps the syringe. His heart races and Jacob hears the last of the liquid rushing into the cup.
Turn around and face me.
Dean bends over to take the hot cup and turns around. Jacob takes a step back and pulls out the syringe. His eyes find Dean and Jacob hesitates for a moment. Is that really Dean? It must be, the same hair, the poisonous green of his eyes, the arrogant chin, but the man in front of him is neither cold nor emotionless.
The man before him is desperate. Older, with deep lines around his eyes. The green eyes are reddened, dark circles under the eyes are evidence of sleepless nights.
"Excuse me, can I pass?" Dean's voice, it's gotten a little deeper, but there's no overbearing sound in it anymore. This voice is broken.
"Of course!" mumbles Jacob, uncertain and hides the syringe back in his hoodie. Confused he also takes a coffee. While he watches the brown liquid run into the cup, he tries to sort out his thoughts. That was not the plan. In none of his fantasies is this the way an encounter with Dean took place.
Jacob looks over his shoulder and sees Dean sitting in one of the plastic chairs. His forearms are resting on his thighs. Dean stares blankly at his cup. Jacob sees this picture almost every day. It's the picture of family members who care about their loved ones. But, the Dean Winchester in Jacob's memory, cares for no one.
Jacob must know.
"May I?" he asks Dean and points to the seat next to him. Dean looks up briefly and for a moment Jacob holds his breath. For a moment the hunter can be seen in Dean's eyes before the flame goes out and Dean just nods.
"Do you have someone here, too?" Jacob asks quietly, staring at the too bright PVC floor of the waiting area.
Dean clears his throat a moment before answering. "Yes, I do." The big mouth has disappeared.
"The doctors will do everything they can." And suddenly, Jacob finds himself in his role as comforter, as he so often has.
Dean moves the corners of his mouth. "I'm sure they'll try." But his strained voice doesn't sound so sure.
"I know how they feel. You're so helpless, you don't know what to do."
Dean chews on his lower lip. "Helpless is a good word."
"Is the patient close to you?"
Dean swings his cup before he answers. "He is like a son to me."
Jacob feels as if the ground has been pulled out from under him. It is such a satisfaction. The great Dean Winchester suddenly realizes what it's like to fear for your child, how helpless you are, how desperate.
Jacob grabs the syringe again. He needs to know.
"What would you do? What would you do to save him?"
Irritated, Dean looks over at him, lets the words sink in. It almost seems as if Dean is checking Jacob out, seeing if he knows him. But Jacob is no longer the weak little boy who had to watch helplessly.
Jacob almost believes that he won’t get an answer from Dean anymore, when he suddenly hears quietly beside him. "I would give my life for him. In a heartbeat. I would do anything to save him."
"Would you kill someone else to save him? A life for a life?“
Jacob is fixing Dean's heart.
Dean's eyes fall to the ground. "No, that's...anything, but not that." Dean almost sounds ashamed.
Jacob's eyes go back up quickly. "Why not?"
Dean leans back in the chair. No hunter sits in front of Jacob. Before Jacob, a worried father sits, like hundreds before him. "I know that many would answer this question differently. They would say yes without hesitation. But … not me. Because if I crossed that line...I would do this...I would be just like them."
"Like who?"
As if Dean is scared out of his wits, he jerks up. Dean's inner walls go up and he gives Jacob a hard time. "Nobody, kiddo."
Jacob looks at Dean from top to bottom. When Dean says he's going to give his life, it seems like it's not a phrase you share with friends, it's a burden Dean has faced before. And when he says that he won’t kill someone to save the person he loves, then Jacob has to admit that he believes him. And in the end, isn't it even the hard choice? To know you are able to do it and still watch the person you love die?
Jacob looks at the pale face of the man he should hate. Are monsters allowed to have freckles?
A long shadow comes into their field of vision.
"Hey, Dean. The doctor wants to talk to us."
Sam Winchester looks worried to his brother.
With a faint groan, Dean gets up.
Jacob remains seated. The syringe lies heavy inside his hoodie.
Sam grabs Dean's forearm and it appears that they both have to brace themselves.
"Take care, kiddo." Jacob looks up and sees into Dean's watchful eyes. Did he recognize him?
Then the brothers turn around and walk down the echoing corridor back to the ICU. Jacob remains sitting in his chair for a long time. Eventually, he gets out his smartphone and calls Uncle Akuma.
It's time to go home.