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The highlight of Ava’s university life comes in the form of the beautiful and smart girl with a sexy accent in her Introduction to Biology class.
The girl always sits in the back of the room, near the windows, several seats away from Ava who sits in the same row but closer to the door. Ava has been watching her for a few weeks now, watching the way she studiously takes notes, watching the way her eyebrows would crinkle when they’re discussing something particularly difficult, watching the way she would sweep her medium length hair up in a simple bun when the winds are blowing hard, exposing the flawless expanse of her neck and making Ava’s heart stutter against her chest nervously.
It takes Ava a month to gather the guts and courage to approach her.
“Hey,” Ava greets as casually as she could as she slides into the seat next to the girl. “I'm Ava, mind if I sit here?”
“Go ahead,” The girl flashes a small smile, her accent as hot and impeccable as the number of times Ava has heard it, “I’m Beatrice.”
Ava grins at finally getting a name and promptly spends the entire period observing Beatrice in what she hopes is a subtle and not at all creepy way. The rest of the week is spent in the same manner, coming to class just a bit earlier than she usually does so she can slide next to Beatrice, exchange hellos and proceed to pretending to listen while watching the girl beside her.
In just a few days of observation (“You mean stalking ,” Mary snorted out), Ava is able to learn more things about Beatrice.
- Beatrice takes notes like a champ. The loops and curves of her handwriting are so pretty and elegant. Ava didn’t know handwritings could be that pretty.
- Beatrice is freakishly smart. Ava actually knows that already because Beatrice is the only person in their class brave enough to recite when their professor asks the hardest questions. But being beside her, Ava can see the grade scribbled on Beatrice’s quizzes and peppers and they are high. Who even gets consecutive perfect scores in quizzes while in university?
- Beatrice went to a catholic boarding school, based on the Areala Boarding School for Catholic Girls alumni card she saw Beatrice use as a bookmark. This one is just an assumption, but it makes sense when Ava thinks about it. She’s heard of that boarding school and how it houses rich, uptight, catholic girls who were stuck in there by their even more uptight parents.
So Beatrice may possibly be a goody two shoes and Ava definitely wants to know more about that. So after a week of sitting next to Beatrice, Ava finally starts up a conversation.
“So Areala Boarding School?” Ava says, gesturing to the bookmark tucked in Beatrice’s book.
Beatrice glances at her bookmark and smiles at Ava, “Yes, entire highschool life.”
“And how was it?” Ava grins as she wiggles her eyebrows. “Is it spent sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to forest parties or to rendezvous in the nearby town for drinks and unspeakable uncatholic-y deeds?”
Beatrice lets out a laugh at this (and Ava almost got distracted because who the hell laughs that beautifully) and she shakes her head, “Pretty boring actually. The nuns weren’t really that much fun. Their idea of fun could have very well been keeping us locked in.”
Ava snorts. “Talk about having a bad habit. ”
Beatrice stares at her for a good while, her serious expression only betrayed by the amused smile she’s trying hard to hide.
“Get it? Bad habit?” Ava follows up with a big grin.
And Beatrice shakes her head at this, her smile big on her face now. “Ava, that was… bad.”
Ava just shrugs at this and smiles charmingly, “Wanna join me for coffee to hear more puns after this class?”
“As long as we go to an actual coffee shop, and not the university coffee-teria. ”
Ava’s mouth drops in what she knows is a very ungraceful way but Beatrice is grinning at her after hitting Ava with an unexpected terrible (so very terrible) pun and Ava is charmed . She smiles widely and nods at Beatrice,
“Deal.”
They go to the university coffee shop after class to talk more. Beatrice gets a hot cappuccino and Ava is kind of mesmerized by the graceful way she pours sugar in her cup and stirs her drink. They talk a lot about many different things. They talk about boarding school (“We pray a total of 5 or so hours a day.” “I doubt God would have enough patience for 5 hours of me talking to him.”) and Ava growing up in an orphanage (“I would have fucking died if it wasn’t for Mary— she’s my friend!” “Language, Ava.” “Sorry! You’re like my other friend, Camila, you should meet her.”) and their majors (“Sports science, but I’m really struggling with the science part of it all.” “International studies. But I’m taking a minor in Microbiology.” “How the fuck is that a minor?” “Ava—” “Oops, language, yes, my bad.”)
Ava finds out a lot about Beatrice during their talk. Talking to Beatrice is fun and enjoyable and Ava is glad she has a new friend who actually appreciates the beauty and genius of her puns. They sit across one another and as Ava watches Beatrice laugh behind her hand— all coy and elegant and lady-like— she can’t help the growing smile from stretching out her face. Beatrice is kind of a textbook rich, only-child, prodigy girl but infinitely more interesting than anyone Ava has ever met.
They part ways after almost 2 hours because Beatrice has a seminar to attend a library reservation to keep. Ava stutters through asking Beatrice for her number but she gets the digits anyway and she grins as she watches Beatrice walk away. It would seem like she is correct in her assessment of Beatrice as a goody two shoes catholic girl and Ava likes it.
— — —
xxx xxx xxx [8:02pm]: What do you call an acid with an attitude?
xxx xxx xxx [8:02pm]: An a-mean-oh acid. Get it?????
Beatrice [8:04pm]: Impressive. But you causing me to get scolded in the library— not so impressive. Ava, I presume?
Ava [8:05pm]: So worth it though right? And yea you presume correctly
Beatrice [8:05pm]: Worth it, definitely. Usually when I tell a chemistry joke to people, I get no reaction.
Ava [8:06pm]: lol that’s a good one !!! And people who don’t appreciate your jokes suck balls
Beatrice [8:06pm]: Language.
Ava [8:06pm]: Sorry bout that, Sister Beatrice :P
Ava [8:07pm]: See you tomorrow in class!!!
Beatrice [8:08pm]: See you, Ava.
— — —
Okay, so Ava might be a bit incorrect in her assessment of Beatrice as a goody two shoes catholic girl.
It’s several weeks later, several weeks spent sitting together in class and going on random coffee dates (“It’s not a date if you’re the only one who knows that it’s a date, Ava.” Mary had snickered, to which Ava replied with an affronted look and proceeded to ignore Mary and turn her attention to Camila instead) and they somehow agreed on being lab partners.
Ava is alternating between looking through the microscope in front of her and scribbling notes on her paper. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Beatrice bring the dirty lab tools they used to the nearby sink. Her attention gets fully pulled from her tasks when Beatrice takes off the watch she always has on her left wrist and Ava sees a glimpse of dark ink.
She stops scribbling and forgets about the cell she’s supposed to be studying. From afar, Ava makes out the shape of a small crucifix, barely over an inch tall, with some finer details she can’t quite see clearly. To say she’s distracted by it is an understatement because what the fuck? Beatrice— kind, sweet, goody-goody, catholic girl Beatrice— has a tattoo? Ava doesn’t even have a tattoo. And Mary always says she's raised by wolves.
Ava wants to ask about it, is itching to do so, but their professor announces that they have 10 minutes left to finish their experiment paper so Ava forces herself to focus on what she’s doing again. They finish their experiment on time and Ava invites Beatrice to grab something to eat.
They’re sitting side by side on the grassy field, a box of pizza in front of them, when Ava remembers about the tattoo and she brings it up.
“So, I saw a tattoo earlier.” Ava starts.
“Oh? Good for you. I’ve seen some myself through the years.” Beatrice answers with a teasing smile.
It makes Ava grin, she likes how relaxed Beatrice is with her now. She likes it when Beatrice asks dorky with her. “Very funny, Sister Smartass.” Ava says, nudging Beatrice with her shoulder. “I’m talking about your tattoo. On the wrist. I saw it when you took off your watch earlier in the lab. You have a crucifix tattoo.”
Beatrice nods and puts down the slice she’s holding so she can take off her watch. The device slides off of her wrist and she holds her hand between Ava and her, “I do. Want a closer look?”
Ava nods, moving her head a bit closer. This time, Ava is able to make out the details from earlier and to see the tattoo better up close. She lets her eyes trace the details of the tattoo, the delicate shape of the thin crucifix and the way the thorny vines crawl their way up the crucifix until the intersection where flowers bloom. Ava stares for a good while before she glances at Beatrice and asks as she brings her hands close to Beatrice’s, “May I?”
Beatrice nods and Ava gently takes Beatrice’s hand in her own. She cradles it with one hand as she uses her other hand to gently trace Beatrice’s tattoo. Ava uses her forefinger to gently touch the inked skin. There’s something about the tattoo that makes Ava feel like she’s seeing an important part of who Beatrice is— like she’s privy to something not a lot of people see about the other girl. The tattoo looks absolutely exquisite and Beatrice having one tattoo makes her even more interesting. She runs her fingers over the pattern several times before she looks up at Beatrice again. Beatrice eyes are already on her and Ava feels an oncoming shiver at how intensely Beatrice seems to be eyeing her.
“T-This is beautiful.” Ava says as she hastily but gently lets go of Beatrice’s hand, realizing she’s been holding onto it for quite some time now.
Beatrice smiles, looking almost shy with her suddenly flushed cheeks. “Thank you.”
“Why’d you get a crucifix tattoo?”
Beatrice hesitates briefly. It’s very small and gone too quickly but Ava is paying extra close attention (like she tends to do with Beatrice) so she notices it.
“I got it when I was in boarding school, actually.” Beatrice offers instead, and Ava knows a deflection when she sees one (she’s quite good at it when she wants to be) and she latches onto the offered information as to not push Beatrice.
Ava tilts her head at this. “So is it some catholic school girl thingy?”
Beatrice shrugs, “It might as well be, I suppose.”
“Catholic girl with a tattoo, huh…” Ava nods slowly, squinting her eyes to jokingly appraise Beatrice before saying,
“That’s hot.”
Beatrice laughs at this, shaking her head at Ava. She throws Ava a weird but amused look as she picks up a new slice of pizza, puts it on a napkin, and hands it over to Ava.
“Just eat, you dork.”
Ava beams at the gesture and takes the offered food gratefully. She takes a bit and grins widely even as she chews her food. “You should wear your watch on your other wrist, so you can show off your badass tattoo more.”
Beatrice just giggles and doesn’t say anything in response. She goes back to eating her own pizza and the two of them talk about more random stuff as they try to finish their shared food.
Next day, when Ava gets to class, she sees the tattoo displayed clearly on Beatrice’s exposed wrist as she rests her chin on her hand. The sight of it and the memory of their conversation from yesterday sends Ava’s heart pounding in her chest and causes a huge ass grin to appear on her face.
Ava doesn’t say anything but she does scoot a bit closer so her left arm would be touching Beatrice’s right arm throughout the lecture.
— — —
Ava invites Beatrice to Mary and Shannon’s weekly movie night. Beatrice also brings a friend, a girl named Lilith who Ava has seen Beatrice with a couple of times. Turns out, Shannon and Beatrice know each other because Shannon used to be Beatrice’s Resident Adviser when Beatrice still lived in the dorms (she lives in an off-campus apartment shared with Lilith now).
Introductions are made and Ava smiles happily as Beatrice gets along with Camila, she totally predicted that. Lilith and her, on the other hand, seem to clash a lot but Ava loves going head to head with someone as stubborn and sassy as Lilith so she enjoys it just as much as she gets the urge to kick Lilith’s ass (she might not win that one, Lilith apparently is very into Martial Arts and Ava doesn’t really want to get her ass kicked in front of her crush).
Beatrice offers to walk her back to her dorm room after movie night ends, an offer Ava gladly accepts. The initial start of their walk is spent in comfortable silence until Ava trips over her own feet and Beatrice has to grab her hand to prevent her from falling face flat on the ground.
“Shit, that was close.” Ava mutters as she takes a deep breath to calm herself.
Beatrice laughs lightly as she peers at Ava. “Yes, it was. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay. I’m just really clumsy.” Ava says as she angles her body so she could look at Beatrice. It’s only then that she notices that their hands are still holding on to one another and Ava feels her recently calmed heart accelerate in her chest once more.
“Ava? You okay there?”
“Y-yeah,” Ava glances at their hands again before flashing Beatrice what she hopes is a charming smile and not a weird grimace. She musters up all the courage she has (which isn’t really a lot) and she says,“But maybe you should hold my hand the rest of the way, just to be sure, you know?”
Beatrice doesn’t answer immediately and Ava can feel her face grower redder by the second. Just as she thinks about playing it off as a joke, Beatrice starts walking forward, pulling her along via their connected hands.
“To save you from tripping, okay?”
When Ava peeks at Beatrice’s face, she can see the small smile playing on her lips and the delighted glint in her eyes. She lets out a laugh and walks faster to fall into step with Beatrice. They walk the rest of the way in relative silence, only making small and short comments about random things they see along the way. When Ava misses the turn they both know is a shortcut to Ava’s dorm building, neither of them mentions it. The alternative path will give them. Extra minutes and Ava is unashamed to take advantage of it.
They stop in front of the dorm building and Ava finds herself feeling happy and giddy from the events of the night. She feels like she’s on a high, she has new friends who get along very well with her old friends and she has this thing with Beatrice (which, whatever it is, is going splendidly) and Ava just feels like she's going to float away in a cloud of joy.
And perhaps it is this very feeling that gives another extra boost to Ava’s bravado. She bites her lower lip as she feels the familiar sparks of excitement and anticipation.
“What?” Beatrice asks with a raised eyebrow at Ava. She tilts her head to the side so adorably that Ava just melts and decides to go for it.
She shakes her head giddily before darting forward quickly and pressing a quick kiss on the corner of Beatrice’s lips.
“Thanks for walking me home. See you tomorrow! Text me when you get home!” Ava rushes out before giving Beatrice one final grin and running inside her dorm building and straight to her room. When Ava gets out of the shower, there’s one unread message in her phone.
Beatrice [11:37pm]: Just got home. Sleep well Ava xx
Ava grins as she falls face first into her bed. If she squeals like a 5-year-old girl then no one needs to know about that.
— — —
Alright, so turns out Beatrice does not have just one tattoo.
They’re doing school work in one of the study rooms in the library, or at least Beatrice and Lilith are, while Ava keeps them company and asks random non-distracting questions to pass the time (mostly directed to Beatrice since Lilith glared at Ava and put on earbuds after Ava’s 7th consecutive question). The two are in the same major and are doing translations. It’s endlessly fascinating and from time to time, Ava finds herself distracted and hooked on watching the way Beatrice mouths the phrases she’s translating. She’s caught herself staring for too long for the 3rd time in less than 20 minutes and even Ava knows that that is not normal so she shakes her head and straightens in her seat, trying to think of something to ask to stop her incessant staring.
“Okay, I’ve been asking this for weeks now.” She begins, directing her question to Beatrice. “Will you please tell me where you got your tattoo?”
Beatrice smiles but doesn’t look at Ava, her eyes on her notes. “No.”
Ava pouts. “Why not?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because.”
“Because what?”
Ava lets out a loud sigh before whining, “Beatriceeee.”
Beatrice shakes with laughter which gets the attention of Lilith who removes one of the earbuds she’s wearing. “What’s happening?” She asks.
“Just Ava asking silly questions.”
“Oh? About what?” Lilith asks with mild interest even as she goes back to scribbling.
“I just want to know where Beatrice got her tattoo.” Ava huffs.
“Which one?” Lilith asks.
Ava freezes and gapes. She gapes at Lilith. Then gapes at Beatrice. Back to Lilith. And back to Beatrice.
Lilith frowns. “What’s wrong with you?” She turns to frown at Beatrice. “What’s wrong with her?”
Beatrice tries to answer but gets caught off by Ava.
“ Which one? You mean there’s more than one?!” Ava widens her eyes at both of her friends. What the fuck?
“Ohh.” Lilith smirks, looking from Ava to Beatrice. When Beatrice shakes her head at her, Lilith lets out a laugh.
“Oh, Ava doesn’t know about them yet, huh?”
“Woah, woah, hey! Back to me! Focus!” Ava slaps the table for emphasis and glares when Lilith’s laugh grows louder.
“Shut it, Lilith.”
“Make me.”
Ava glares again, wanting to wipe off the stupid smirk on Lilith’s face but chooses to focus on more important things such as Beatrice having more than one tattoo.
“Focus,” She repeats. She looks at Beatrice, “So, how many tattoos do you have exactly?”
“Ava,” Beatrice laughs out.
“Don’t ‘Ava’ me! Come on, Beatrice.” Ava does her best impression of Camila’s puppy dog eyes. “Please? Just answer my question then. Do you have another tattoo?”
Beatrice nods with a smile.
Ava grins widely. “Can I see it?”
There’s a strange twinkle in Beatrice’s eyes as she answers, “I’d have to take off my shirt.”
Ava’s mouth drops. “W-what?”
“And that’s my cue to leave.” Lilith says with a roll of her eyes as she packs her things in her backpack. “See you later, Bea.” She shoots Ava one last amused look, “Bye, dumbass.”
“Yeah, whatevs, bye.” Ava mumbles distractedly, attention still fixed on Beatrice and brain still short circuiting.
“You okay, Ava?” Beatrice asks with an amused smile.
Ava doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath slowly and releases a long exhale, before opening her eyes again.
“First of all, that comment was totally unnecessary,” Ava begins, pouting when Beatrice Just shrugs at it, “And second, you can’t just drop information like that and expect me to be okay.”
Beatrice laughs. “You’re overreacting a bit at the possible existence of another tattoo, don’t you think?” Beatrice is clearly making fun of her now and enjoying this little fixation Ava has on her tattoos. If only the little nose crinkle thing she does isn’t adorable, then Ava might give her a harder time about this. But it is and Ava mentally captures the expression and stores it somewhere in her brain to replay a hundred times later.
Ava settles for a shrug and she rolls her eyes in a show of annoyance, but she knows that Beatrice can tell she’s just faking it. “My reaction is totally appropriate, excuse you.”
“Of course.” Beatrice says, her voice still laced with amusement. “Give me 10 minutes to finish this and then we can hang out at my place, sounds good?”
“Sounds good.” Ava affirms in a chirpy tone. She lets the tattoo thing go for now, delighted and distracted by Beatrice’s offer, but she vows to find out more about the other tattoo sooner or later.
— — —
Ava almost forgets about the other tattoo.
This thing she and Beatrice has is going great and Ava has been busy enjoying it, along with their new friend group. She loves hanging out with all of them— Mary and her crass jokes, Shanon acting like a playful and reliable mother hen to all of them, Camila’s delicious pastries and tea drinks, and even Lilith’s playful jabs which lead to the two of them bickering like siblings. Ava loves it, adores all of them, really, but she especially likes it when she gets to spend time with just her and Beatrice.
And that’s exactly what they’re doing today. They’re having a picnic, which is totally Camila’s idea, one she cooked up when Ava asked her for date ideas (“Reading in the park! Bea loves reading! Oh, oh, a picnic Ava!” Camila had squealed in excitement. “That would be good but I don’t want to poison Beatrice with my non-existent cooking skills.” “I’ll prepare everything for you. This is perfect, Ava!”). It was a very interesting exchange, and Ava is very thankful that Camila helped her so much.
And then Beatrice arrives in their picnic spot wearing a strawberry-embellished pink dress with ruffles along the hem that sways oh so gently and oh so prettily as Beatrice walks towards her.
Ava’s eyes widen and before she completely loses her mind at how stunning Beatrice looks, she makes a mental reminder to thank Camila a thousand times more for pushing Ava to do this picnic date.
Beatrice looks glorious in her dress— it fits her so well that Ava briefly contemplates the possibility that perhaps dresses such as this one are made specifically for Beatrice. Ava watches as Beatrice walks towards her, watches the smile on Beatrice’s face grow bigger and bigger as she crosses the distance between them, and in that short moment, Ava feels like she can’t breathe. She feels her heart constrict at how beautiful Beatrice looks as rays of sun hit her in just the right ways.
“Hi, did you wait long?” Beatrice greets with a wide smile as she carefully tucked her dress under her as she sits down on the blanket Ava has spread earlier.
Ava shakes her head and collects as much air as she can back into her lungs so she can pay Beatrice a well-earned compliment.
“You look wonderful.” Ava praises and rejoices in the pink that appears on Beatrice’s cheeks.
“Thank you. You look amazing yourself.” Beatrice takes a peek at the basket Ava prepared and looks up at Ava with a proud smile, clearly impressed. “Ava, these all look delicious.”
“Camila helped me.” Ava starts taking out the containers of food, smiling excitedly at Beatrice. “So Camila tells me you like fruits…”
They just finished dessert and Ava is feeling pretty proud of herself for making Beatrice happy with the picnic and for being able to function properly without gawking or drooling all over Beatrice (because she really is extra gorgeous today, it isn’t quite fair actually).
But then Beatrice reaches forward to grab something, a move that somehow allows the neckline of her dress to shift a little bit, exposing a bit fair skin and then what looks to be red and orange dots.
The tattoo , Ava realizes and remembers, and before her brain can catch up, her hand is already reaching for it, her fingers landing on Beatrice’s shoulder and Ava feels Beatrice stop moving. They both freeze for a second before Beatrice turns her head to look at where Ava is suddenly touching her.
“You have a tattoo here.” Ava meets Beatrice's gaze, smiling lopsidedly with a hint of embarrassment at the realization that she just touched Beatrice without asking for permission. She pulls her hand back, just a bit so it’s not in contact with the warm skin anymore. “Um, sorry, c-can I?”
Beatrice shifts in her seat, scooting a bit forward so she’s closer to Ava. “Go ahead.” She nods.
Ava inhales slowly, feeling nervous all of a sudden at being given permission to touch Beatrice. She brings her hand closer, gently tracing the solid red dot and then the orange one. Another color catches her eyes and she slowly pushes the cloth away to expose more dots.
Yellow. Green. Blue. Indigo. Violet.
7 dots all in all, to make up the colors of a rainbow, and Ava takes her time to trace each and every single one of them, to feel the raised dots under her fingertips. She pulls back after a while and looks at Beatrice to see her already looking back, an intense and contemplative look on her face.
“It looks pretty. Can you tell me about it?” Ava already has an idea as to what the tattoo means. She’s not new to the implications and impressions such a tattoo automatically gives, but if there's one thing Ava is quickly learning about Beatrice, it’s the fact that there’s something more to her than what is seen on the surface. Something more interesting, more important, more her .
“It took awhile for me to admit who I really am and what I really want. I used to always look over my shoulder in fear.” Beatrice tells vaguely, her eyes briefly shifting down, away from Avas line of gaze. There’s a sense of finality in her tone that tells Ava Beatrice wouldn’t expound on what she just said, maybe not quite ready to do so yet. “But then things got better, as most things tend to do. I got this tattoo to serve as a reminder. Now, when I look over my shoulder, I’ll just be reminded of who I am, and that who I am and what I want are okay.”
A small and peaceful smile is playing on Beatrice’s lips as she finishes talking, her gaze once again trained on Ava. For the nth time since she has met Beatrice, Ava finds herself struck by her beauty. There’s something in the way that Beatrice talked about herself and in the way that she’s looking at Ava right now (softly, patiently, and hopefully) that is almost painful. A good kind of painful.
Ava moves forward, closer, her hand reaching out again to touch Beatrice’s tattoo, to caress the dotted skin and feel its warmth. She looks Beatrice in the eyes, makes sure that Beatrice is listening to her, before saying softly, “You are so beautiful, Beatrice. Who you are is a hundred times more than okay.” Ava pauses, her mouth and lips suddenly feel dry. She catches her lower lip between her teeth to wet it and she sees Beatrice’s eyes briefly drop to trail the movement. It almost makes Ava’s head spin.
She waits for Beatrice to look her in the eyes again before whispering, “And I hope that what I want is also okay.”
“What is it that you want?” Beatrice's voice has also dropped down to a whisper, as if they’re inside this little bubble now (which seems fitting, considering all Ava could see and hear and smell at the moment is Beatrice and Beatrice alone), and anything louder than a whisper would burst everything. Ava swears she would kill someone if anything interrupts them right now.
“To kiss you.” Ava answers with zero hesitation, her body swaying towards Beatrice, moving just a bit closer again until their faces are just inches apart. “I want to. I want to kiss you. Can I? Kiss you?” She knows her words are kind of jerky, filled with nervousness and weird abrupt stops like she doesn’t know how to talk properly but Ava decides to forgive herself on account of her feeling like she’ll actually die if she doesn’t get to kiss Beatrice in the next few seconds.
Beatrice smiles, that pretty and excited smile of hers that makes her eyes twinkle, and then suddenly she’s kissing Ava, one hand curling around Ava’s neck to pull her closer, the other settling on Ava’s hip. Ava sighs into the kiss, she’s been dreaming of this for a while now, pondering about how it would feel to kiss Beatrice, to be this close to her, and Ava has to admit that reality is so much better.
Beatrice pulls back after a while but Ava is quick to chase her lips. A sweet and adorable laugh bubbles out of Beatrice which immediately makes Ava smile and press herself closer to the other girl.
— — —
Kissing Beatrice quickly becomes Ava’s most favorite thing to do in the world because, well, duh.
They’re in Beatrice’s bedroom, lounging lazily on the bed with Ava’s head resting on Beatrice’s lap. Ava lets out a contented sigh as she feels one of Beatrice’s hand play with her hair while the other holds the book she’s reading. They’ve been in the same position for a while now and while Ava really is contented with just being with Beatrice, she kind of wants to do more important and urgent things now— such as making out with her girlfriend.
So Ava starts on her quest to get Beatrice to stop reading and pay attention to her instead. She begins by grabbing the hand that’s been playing with her hair. She brings the hand close to her face and starts tracing the lines on the palm. In the corner of her eyes, Ava sees Beatrice peek at her curiously from behind her book but she pretends not to notice it. She takes her time instead to trace each and every line on Beatrice’s palm, then turns the hand over to trace the veins that are straining against Beatrice skin. Ava almost gets distracted by this, having always found Beatrice’s hands so goddamn sexy, but she gets herself back on track and makes sure to caress the veins extra slowly, almost seductively.
She glances up at Beatrice to see her still looking at her book but with her lips curved in a small smile. It’s just a matter of time before Beatrice gives in. She just needs one more push and Ava knows how to do just that.
Ava runs her thumb down one vein on the back of Beatrice’s hand until she reaches the end of the hand before turning it over. She is met with the sight of Beatrice’s crucifix tattoo, and Ava gingerly traces the shape and details of the tattoo before lowering the hand to her lips in a soft kiss.
This time, Ava looks up to see Beatrice already looking at her, an eyebrow raised.
“I know what you’re doing, Ava.” Beatrice says.
“Really?” Ava mumbles against Beatrice’s skin. “What am I doing?”
“Distracting me.”
Ava grins, wiggling her eyebrows. “Is it working?”
“Yes, very much so.” Beatrice laughs and Ava knows she’s won.
She pushes herself up, grabs Beatrice’s book with one hand and tosses it blindly on the floor. She ignores Beatrice’s indignant hey of protest and just grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her down on the bed. Beatrice’s yelp and laughter is like music to Ava’s ears and she joins the laughter as she lands on top of the other girl.
Ava lifts herself up a bit before smirking down at the girl under her. “Hello there.” She punctuates her greeting with a chaste kiss to Beatrie’s lips.
Beatrice hums in delight, arms circling Ava’s waist. She lifts her head to get another kiss before responding, “Hi. Were you bored?”
Ava shrugs. “Just wanted your attention.”
Beatrice smiles sweetly at this, a hand going up to tuck fallen strands of hair behind Ava’s ear and caressing her cheek. “You have my full attention now. What do you want to do?”
“This.” Ava smiles slyly before diving down to kiss Beatrice hard on the mouth. Beatrice lets out a muffled sound of surprise but she’s quick to catch on, arms immediately tightening around Ava and lips moving with Ava’s in a familiar and excited way.
Ava feels Beatrice bite on her lower lip and she lets out a groan at it, feeling waves of electricity shoot all over her body. She feels soft hands snake under her shirt, fingers sensually running up and down her spine. Ava lets out a pleased moan, she loves it when Beatrice lets herself be as touchy as she wants with Ava. She trails kisses from Beatrice’s lips to her cheeks until she reaches an ear. She traps an earlobe between her teeth, softly biting on it and soothing the bite with her tongue, eliciting a breathy sigh from Beatrice.
Ava is in the middle of kissing down the side of Beatrice’s neck when she feels hands pushing on her body, pushing her up. She sits up and watches as Beatrice follows her, arms remaining locked around her, pulling her close.
“You look so good.” Beatrice whispers against Ava’s neck where she’s pressing tiny kisses.
Ava laughs when Beatrice hits a ticklish spot. She loops her arms around Beatrice’s neck and plants a wet kiss on her lips. “Stradling you like this?”
Beatrice makes a sound of affirmation and slides her hands down Ava’s side until she reaches thighs. She runs her hands up and down slowly on the bare skin exposed by the denim shorts, fingers teasing under the hem for just a bit before sliding away. “You look good all the time but yes, you look especially good when you’re like this .”
Her cheeks heat up and Ava lets out a breathy sigh which has Beatrice smirking against her jaw. Ava ignores the reaction and moves her hands so she can hold Beatrice’s face. “Maybe you should kiss me some more if I look so good then.”
“Yes, so, so good.” Beatrice whispers, probably without really understanding what she’s responding to, her lips already touching Ava’s. They’re kissing again, lips moving almost frantically, and when Ava feels insistent tugging on the hem of her shirt, she doesn’t even think twice about raising her arms and allowing her shirt to be pulled off.
Beatrice is staring at her so intensely, her eyes seemingly taking in all the exposed skin and Ava feels her entire body heat up. She starts feeling self-conscious after a while, it’s the first time Beatrice has seen her like this after all, and Ava tries to cover herself up but is stopped by Beatrice’s hands catching hers.
“Don’t.” Beatrice says, her eyes raking from Ava’s body up to her face. “You’re so beautiful, Ava. Don’t hide yourself, please.”
“Yeah?”
Beatrice smiles, eyes kind and affectionate. She nods, bringing up one hand to gently caress Ava’s cheek. “Most beautiful girl.”
Ava feels her heart swell. She smiles back before leaning in to kiss Beatrice slowly and gently, putting in as much appreciation as she could into their kiss. It doesn’t take long for the kiss to intensify again as Ava pushes Beatrice by the shoulders, making the other girl land back on the bed. She starts kissing Beatrice’s neck, making sure to leave a few light marks even though she knows she’ll get scolded for it later. While her lips are busy on Beatrice’s neck, Ava’s hands quickly work their way down the shirt Beatrice is wearing, fingers undoing the buttons as fast as they possibly could.
The shirt falls open and Beatrice sighs when she feels warm hands touch her bare sides. Ava’s hands travel upwards towards Beatrice’s chest and when she feels a sudden change of skin texture from silky smooth to familiar raised patterns, Ava breathes in deeply and presses her palms hard on what she already knows would be another tattoo.
She pulls back until she’s sitting on Beatrice’s hips and stares down at the flushed and panting girl under her. For a brief while, Ava forgets about the tattoo and instead focuses on the general appearance of Beatrice before her: cheeks splashed with red, neck littered with tiny marks, black bra contrasting so beautifully against fair skin, and chest heaving up and down trying to bring back air into her lungs. What gets Ava the most though are Beatrice’s eyes, their gaze intense and alluring even as they’re half-lidded, or maybe it’s precisely due to that, Ava isn’t really sure anymore. All she knows is that while Beatrice may think that Ava looks good on top of her, Ava personally finds Beatrice so fucking gorgeous under her like this.
She drops her gaze to the tattoo and lets out a soft gasp as she takes it in. The first thought that enters Ava’s mind is holy shit that tattoo is big . The second thought is that this might be Beatrice’s most beautiful tattoo. It’s a floral tattoo, and while Ava thinks tattoos of flowers are kind of cliche, there’s nothing cliche about the design on Beatrice’s skin.
The flower seems to be on its side, the green stems and leaves stretching from Beatrice’s side to the expanse of the left area of her torso, on where her ribcage would be, just below her breast. The stems break off into three flower heads, blue in color and made to resemble a watercolor painting. Looking closely, Ava sees tiny details of smaller flowers all around the tattoo.
The watercolor tattoo is beautiful and elegant on the canvas that is Beatrice’s milky white skin. It’s with a burst of affection and admiration that Ava comes to the conclusion that only Beatrice can make a cliche tattoo look so damn regal.
She smiles at Beatrice and takes her time in dragging her fingers all over the tattoo. When her touches reach the upper part of the tattoo, she slyly slips just a fraction of her fingers under Beatrice’s bra where a small part of the tattoo remains hidden under.
“Ava,” Beatrice gasps. “Please.”
“Please what?” Ava asks, dragging her wandering fingers a bit higher.
Beatrice groans before articulating with more force and intensity, “ Ava. ”
Ava feels a hot thrill shoot down her body at the tone. She bends her body forward slowly, stopping when her lips are just an inch away from Beatrice’s. “Use your words, babe.”
There’s a flash of something in Beatrice’s eyes and then her hands slide from Ava’s thighs to the front of her shorts, fingers hooking on belt loops and tugging down to bring their bodies flushed against one another’s.
“Touch me, Ava.”
Ava smirks at finally getting the words she wants from her girlfriend. She wastes no time anymore, crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss, her hands quickly working their way around Beatrice to unhook her bra. Beatrice sighs happily into their kiss and Ava in turn happily kisses her way down, intending to kiss and worship every spot and crevice of the beautiful girl before her.
It’s hours later with both of them trying to catch their breaths that Beatrice surprisingly brings up the tattoo.
“You found another tattoo.”
Ava feels a pleasant vibration on her chest where Beatrice is resting her head. “I did.”
“Do you want to know about it?” Beatrice asks.
“Only if you want to tell me.” And Ava means it. She thinks she’s way past desperately trying to learn everything about the complex person that is Beatrice. Now, with months of dating under their belts, Ava feels confident enough that Beatrice wouldn't vanish anytime soon, wouldn’t leave her anytime soon. They’re exclusively together and neither of them plans on leaving. For once, Ava feels comfortable enough to take her time in getting to know and in learning about the big and tiny stories that make up who Beatrice is.
Beatrice nods before turning her head to the side to press a soft kiss on her chest and pushing herself off of Ava. She positions herself so the two of them are lying side by side.
Ava watches patiently as Beatrice brings out one of her arms from under the sheet and angles it towards Ava, showing her wrist tattoo. “I’ll tell you about this one first, okay? I never told you about this.”
“Yeah, I’ve been curious but I don’t want to pry.”
Beatrice smiles and Ava can see the appreciation in her eyes. “My parents are into politics and business. They’re also very religious and traditional. Appearances have always been important to them, so when my mom saw me kiss the older choir girl from our church, she dragged me home, lectured me on the sin of homosexuality, and promptly shipped me off to a catholic boarding school.”
Ava frowns deeply. “Beatrice, that’s—”
She’s cut off by a gentle look and a calming hand on her cheek. Ava nods for Beatrice to continue and squeezes her hand to let her know that she’s right here.
“I suffered greatly during my first months in boarding school. I was confused and lost about so many things. I isolated myself for a long while, believing I was disgusting and I needed to be punished. Eventually I met this crowd there. They’re kind of misfits, too, I suppose. Thrown to boarding school by parents who didn’t want to deal with them. We were all pretty hopeless, really. We somehow bonded and one night, they took me with them as they sneaked out into the town. We went to this tattoo parlor. I didn’t want to get a tattoo at first, but then one of my friends talked about how a tattoo is a good reminder of things and feelings we have. I was struggling with my faith back then. I was losing faith and I needed something concrete that would remind me of what I believe in— that there is something to believe in. I wanted to desperately hold on to my belief in a greater being and a greater power even though its teachings are seemingly built to tear who I am down. My faith was slipping away and it was a numbing experience. I didn’t want to be numb so the alternative I thought of at that time was that I needed to hurt for a bit so I’ll feel something.” Beatrice finishes with a nostalgic smile as she looks at her tattoo.
Ava is quiet for a moment, taking in all the information Beatrice just dropped. She moves her hand under the sheet and touches the flower tattoo gently.
“What about this one?”
“That one,” Beatrice starts, her tone going from thoughtful to proud in a matter of seconds. “is an Iris flower. A blue iris symbolizes faith and hope. I got this after boarding school, just a few weeks into the start of the school year. It took some time but I developed a new understanding of my faith. I know that I can be faithful to God and faithful to who I really am at the same time. I realized that my faith is something personal to me— something that doesn’t have to clash against who I am. I guess in a way this is kind of a foil of my first tattoo. I got this to remind me of my faith and to remind me that there will always be hope.”
Ava can’t help but to smile proudly at Beatrice after hearing her stories. She can see the pride and happiness in Beatrice’s eyes and she feels so many emotions all triggered by the girl in front of her swirl in her chest. Beatrice went through so much and Ava feels a small tinge of sadness and regret at the fact that she wasn’t able to be with her when she was suffering by herself. However, the negative feelings are quickly swept away by the admiration and amazement she feels for Beatrice for overcoming everything.
It dawns on Ava that she’s been so wrong in her assumptions of Beatrice as just a goody-goody catholic girl. She’s so much more than those things, so much stronger and more beautiful than Ava initially thought her to be, and Ava feels so honoured to be where she is now—in the arms of someone as wonderful as Beatrice.
“Ava?”
Beatrice is looking at her in a mix of fondness and curiosity and Ava simply shakes her head. She pushes Beatrice on her back and climbs over her, ignoring the surprised laugh and squeal. She just grins against Beatrice’s mouth, kissing her once on the lips before moving down and planting soft and gentle kisses all over the tattoo. Ava doesn’t know much about faith, she’s never really been religious, but she does know about believing in Beatrice and in the beauty and goodness of her heart. And maybe in that sense, Ava can also be faithful.
There’s something dangerously warm brewing and fluttering in her chest and Ava pushes down the surprise she feels at the realization that she’s not really afraid of it at all. Not when she has Beatrice.
— — —
Ava is in love with Beatrice.
It isn’t surprising, not really, because Ava is pretty much convinced that whoever gets to know Beatrice is bound to love her. She knows everyone in their little group is somehow wrapped around Beatrice’s finger in one way or another even though they might not be aware of it. So when she realizes that she’s in love with Beatrice while she was in the middle of watching her girlfriend wash the dishes, Ava doesn’t have a big over the top reaction about it.
Oh, Ava’s mouth drops open slowly in slow realization as she watches Beatrice rinse plates in the sink.
There’s absolutely nothing special with how Beatrice looks right now or with what they’re doing. They just finished eating the take-out Lilith brought home for them and Beatrice is standing before the sink dressed in red varsity shorts and a plain v-neck white shirt with her hair in a low bun. But somehow, when Ava looks up from her phone to see if her girlfriend is done, she is suddenly struck by the sight across her and finds herself unable to look away.
It’s all very domestic and natural and it makes Ava feel a twinge of something in her chest, something that feels a lot like want— the want to keep on seeing this sight, to see Beatrice like this everyday, wearing comfortable clothes and being relaxed and rested. There’s a clear want to experience this every single day of her life for as long as she could and that when it hits Ava.
Ah, I love Beatrice. Ava nods to herself. She takes a deep breath and exhales the air through her mouth. I’m in love with this girl.
“Ava?”
She lifts her gaze up from where she spaced out randomly to see Beatrice now standing in front of her, lips quirked in a smile. “I’m done, babe. Want to watch something?”
Ava feels her own lips tug up at the sweet pet name. That’s another thing she wants to have for a long time. She takes one of Beatrice’s hands in her own and pulls her along towards the couch. She plops down and opens her arms invitingly. “Movie and cuddles?”
Beatrice giggles and joins Ava in agreement, sitting closely and letting arms wrap around her body. Ava grabs the remote and plays a movie on Netflix. She feels Beatrice shift in her arms to look up at her, “Want some popcorn?”
Ava shakes her head, pulling Beatrice closer and planting a wet kiss on her forehead. “Got everything I need right here.”
“Ugh, cheesy.” Beatrice makes a face and pretends to wipe at the spot Ava kissed which just makes Ava laugh and kiss her some more, showering her face with kisses all over.
Ava kisses Beatrice sloppily on the cheek. “You love it when I’m cheesy.”
“I do love it when you’re cheesy.” Beatrice laughs out as she pushes Ava so she can settle on top of her, both of them sprawled carelessly on the couch.
Ava feels an oncoming word vomit about another thing or more accurately the person she loves and she forces herself to stop, not wanting to spring it up on Beatrice so suddenly. Instead she hugs Beatrice tighter against her chest, drops a proper kiss on top of her head and focuses on the movie.
Almost half an hour passes of both of them just silently watching the movie while cuddled together and Ava still can’t think of anything else aside from her epiphany of being so deeply in love with Beatrice. She’s starting to get annoyed with herself because really there’s so much to consider before she can even think about confessing her new found feelings to Beatrice. The situation has to be right, the place has to be memorable, and the timing has to be perfect. It has to be special because this is Beatrice— she deserves nothing less than perfection.
Ava knows neither of them are really watching the movie with her being too far inside her own head and Beatrice lazily scrolling on her phone. So she reaches for the remote to turn down the volume which makes Beatrice turn to her.
“Tell me something.”
Beatrice puts down her phone on the coffee table and shifts on top of Ava to be able to look at her properly. “Like what?”
Ava shrugs, one hand reaching to release Beatrice’s hair from its bun. Her hair spills around her, framing her face beautifully. She looks so soft like this and Ava wants to sigh. “Anything.” She figures anything would be enough as long as it can distract her from blurting out how much she loves the girl in front of her.
Beatrice hums in thought for a moment. “I have a favorite bible verse, did you know?”
Ava grins. “Of course you do. You’re such a nun.”
Beatrice raises an eyebrow in challenge. “What does that make you then, sleeping with a nun and all?”
Ava snorts at this before rolling her eyes playfully. “ That is a form of worship , people should get with the times.”
Beatrice lets out a loud laugh. “You’re such a dork.”
Ava just smiles smugly, not at all interested in denying what is true, and nudges Beatrice to continue. “So about this bible verse?”
“It’s from the book of Ruth.” Beatrice begins, “I’ll recite it to you so listen carefully, okay?”
Ava smiles and nods. Of course Beatrice has it memorized. Seriously, how can she not fall for her?
Beatrice clears her throat before continuing, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
It’s a beautiful verse, so easy to understand and so heavy with meaning. It sounds better than any bible crap Ava has ever heard in her life. It’s not self-serving or obnoxious. She gets why Beatrice would favor this verse.
The verse really is so beautiful so Ava isn’t really sure why she’s feeling overwhelmed with emotions and tearing up the way she is now.
“A-Ava?” Beatrice sits up and off of her slowly, eyes wide with worry. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
Ava shakes her head slowly and sits up to follow Beatrice who is now kneeling in front of her, hands suspended in front of her like she doesn’t know whether she can touch Ava or not. Ava takes both of Beatrice’s hands in her own, holding them gently and locking their fingers together.
“Can you, uh, can you repeat that, please?” Ava sniffs and blinks away her tears.
Beatrice hesitates. “But you’re crying. I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Ava laughs out, letting go of one of Beatrice’s hands to cup her girlfriend’s cheek, her thumb gently caressing the soft skin. “That was kinda weird of me. Just repeat the thing, will you? Pretty please?”
“Okay, sure I’ll repeat the thing. ” Beatrice crinkles her nose playfully. “Since you asked so nicely.”
It’s the nose crinkle Ava adores so much and she can’t help leaning forward and giving Beatrice a short and sweet kiss before letting her continue talking.
Beatrice starts repeating the verse, looking directly at Ava. With each word and each line, Ava feels herself melt and her heart swell in response. Beatrice is looking at her so tenderly and so affectionately, like she just might love Ava back, like she feels every bit as in love as Ava does.
And maybe she is, or maybe she isn’t. Maybe the time is right, maybe it isn’t. Or maybe, none of those things matter. Maybe what matters is that Ava is here right now, in this space, existing with this beautiful kaleidoscope of a girl and is given the privilege to love her. Maybe what matters is that in hearing the words of the beautiful verse, all Ava could think of, all that Ava is reminded of, is Beatrice. Only Beatrice.
So as Beatrice finishes the verse, Ava beams at her and kisses her again, a slow but long one with Ava moving her lips leisurely against Beatrice’s, savoring the familiar softness and taste that is uniquely Beatrice.
When the kiss breaks, Beatrice is slow to open her eyes, looking at Ava in a slight daze. “What was that for?”
“You speak so beautifully, did you know?”
Beatrice blushes prettily. “Thank you.” She murmurs shyly, glancing down at their joined hands. It’s adorable how Beatrice can shift from being bold and confident to shy and timid in a quick minute.
And that’s the thing about her. Whenever Ava thinks she knows Beatrice fully beyond the petite and innocent catholic girl image she has, Beatrice starts to show other sides of her, she turns into someone new and different. It’s endlessly fun and refreshing, and Ava feels excitement run through her veins at the thought of uncovering more and more of Beatrice.
Ava gently lifts Beatrice’s head by her chin so they could look at each other again. She grins at Beatrice confidently.
“I love you, Beatrice. You know that, right?”
There’s no surprise in Beatrice’s eyes, but they do soften and Beatrice does smile so fucking birghtly and beautifully as she brings up a hand to tenderly caress Ava’s cheek. “I know, Ava.” She whispers, “I love you, too.”
Their simple and heartfelt declarations are sealed off with a kiss. It’s so easy, so simple, and so natural and Ava can’t stop her lips from stretching into a smile even if she wanted to.
Maybe it will always be Beatrice from here on out. And Ava is happy with that.
(Years later, on the day they graduate from university, Ava surprises Beatrice with a tattoo of her own— her very first tattoo.
She shows Beatrice her collarbone area where the tattoo is. It’s a single blue iris flower on its side stretching with the stem starting close to Ava’s chest and the flower head close to her shoulder. It’s very similar to Beatrice’s watercolor tattoo, the main difference being the fact that part of the stem is a cursive writing of Ruth 1:16-17.
Getting the tattoo hurt like fuck and Mary definitely took pictures of Ava’s pained expression, but it’s all worth it for the way Beatrice gasped her name and kissed her senseless upon seeing it.)
*
tattoos inspo here! Credits to the owners of the pictures.
beatrice: 1 / 2 / 3
ava: 1