Chapter Text
Chapter 3: Are we a family?
“You’re clocking out on time, Arthit?” Earth, Arthit’s senior, noticed when Arthit stood from his chair after shutting down his computer.
Arthit nodded his head with a smile. “The kids are picking me up with Kongpob,” he said before he excused himself to go to the restroom. Kongpob texted him after lunch earlier that the kids wanted to pick him up at work, so he made sure to finish everything urgent to be able to leave on time.
When he got back in the office, Earth looked up at him and pointed at his phone he left on his table.
“It was ringing earlier. I guess it was your mom.”
Arthit checked on his phone as he settled himself back in his cubicle and saw a missed call from Apsara, Kongpob’s mother, and an unread message from Kongpob which followed a few more pings for new messages. He decided to call her back later and tapped on Kongpob’s message instead.
0062 👶 : Will be there in 15 minutes, phi.
0062 👶 : If not traffic.
0062 👶 : Stoplight.
0062 👶 : Are u done with work?
Arthit: Done even before the clock turned to 6 😉
0062 👶 : Aren’t u excited haha
0062 👶 : Shall we start picking u up so u’d leave on time?
Arthit: As if my workload will allow u 😞
0062 👶 : I’ll talk to P’Danai for u phi
Arthit: P’Danai might like u but he’s still my boss
When Kongpob didn’t text back anymore and left his last message unread, Arthit started shoving his stuff from his table to his bag, a smile was plastered on his face that he was probably not aware of. He wouldn’t tell Kongpob about it, but he really liked it when they picked him up at work and he didn’t need to drive on his own and wait until he arrived home—to his home . He remembered Earth told him before it was one of the million things fatherhood could do to him. Despite the long, tiring, and stressful hours at work, there was nothing as exciting as being home with your children or your family.
And Arthit couldn’t agree more.
“By the way, Arthit,” Earth called and Arthit turned to her. “I didn’t mean to look at your phone when your mom was calling, but I just saw your lock screen. How are your twins? It’s been a while since you last brought them here!”
“They are growing up, phi. Love making a mess at home. They started preschool just last month and it gets really lonely especially at times when I get home late and they’re already sleeping.”
“They’re going to school now?! The last time you brought them here was when they could still barely walk on their own. How time really flies, right? The next thing you’ll know they’ll be in high school then college—”
“Too fast, P’Earth! They’re just 4,” Arthit exclaimed with a sad face.
“But it’s true! 4 years ago, did you even think of the day you’d send them off on their first day of school?” Arthit shook his head because it was true. “And here you are. They are already one month at school and you get lonely.”
Arthit just thought through what Earth had said as he felt this unexplainable loneliness creeping inside him all of a sudden. He knew it would still be a long time until their high school or their college, but Earth made a point. He was so busy living and working every day that he didn’t notice how time really flew fast. It felt like it was just yesterday when the days old Pluto and Muffin were brought to their new apartment, to their home , and now, they were at preschool, making friends and having fun. One day, they would learn a lot more new things until they learned to be on their own. One day, they wouldn’t need to call Papa or Dada in almost everything they wanted to do, wouldn’t ask for help in everything because they could already do it. One day, they would grow up a lot more, meet more friends, until they barely stayed home and spent time with them.
And yes, it already made Arthit feel lonely and scared. If only Pluto and Muffin could be their babies forever and stop growing up.
“But I really admire you, Arthit. You’re their only parent and yet you have to work and still go home to look after them. You juggle work and your life being a father every day, but I can see you mature and get stronger every day as well. I know it gets very tiring and difficult, but you’re still here. Fighting. And I really love that about you, Arthit. Really. You’re an amazing father and they’re lucky that it’s you.”
Arthit could only beam at her as he felt the new wave of indescribable feelings hitting him. He had a lot of things he wanted to say about how he had someone , how he had his families and friends supporting them , how he was never alone in his journey, never alone in going through tough and hard times, but he couldn’t find the right words to say while the tears were already forming behind his eyes. In a while, Kongpob would arrive, but he didn’t know what triggered their talk to be emotional and serious all of a sudden.
And he just wanted to be home as soon as possible.
Earth was like an older sister for him. Ever since he was hired in Ocean Electric, she was the very first person he got close and comfortable with. Earth was very honest with her feelings, aside from the fact she was really good at her job and was helping Arthit a lot until today. She wouldn’t hold back if she knew she was right and she was telling the truth and Arthit had seen that side of her numerous times but she never repulsed him. Earth would tell in his face if ever he did something she didn’t like or if Arthit was being too whiny or annoying or too kind at work. Earth would tell him off without holding back and even though Arthit would usually pull back if it was another person because of their strong personality, it rather made them even closer. Arthit had found that connection with her that he was looking for when he was younger and hoped he had an older sibling.
However, there were things that Arthit couldn’t just tell her about. One of them was his romantic relationship. It wasn’t a secret in their company that he had children, but no one ever knew that he was in a long-term relationship as well. It was a mutual agreement between him and Kongpob not to disclose their relationship at their workplace although some of their respective co-workers knew them as friends since university and they had attended a few social events together but not so often to be questioned about what their relationship was. It wasn’t because they were ashamed of their relationship or of their family setting, but despite being in the company for quite a long time, they both couldn’t risk being criticized and have it affect their own jobs. Besides, Arthit had experienced firsthand how harsh some people could be while hiding behind their kind façade just because he happened to love a man. He had learned his lesson the hard way and he wouldn’t want a repeat of it again.
He had almost lost Kongpob.
Kerkkrai, Kongpob’s father, and Danai, Arthit’s boss and father-figure in the company who he only trusted about his life story and Kongpob, supported their decision to keep their relationship. They shared the same sentiment that despite their position in their respective company, they definitely didn’t have the power to be able to stop anyone from saying and doing whatever they wanted. There were certain company policies that would require corrective actions on behaviors, depending on the degree, that would harm and discriminate against any individual, but they could only do much after the harm was done. And they both didn’t want Kongpob and Arthit to experience that. Danai also told Arthit before that coming out or letting his relationship known was the decision only he could make because he didn’t owe it to anyone or was it his obligation. As long as they were happy, then that was all that mattered.
Arthit was snapped out of his train of thoughts when Earth spoke to call his attention. He gave her a quick glance before he checked his phone and no text from Kongpob yet that they already arrived, probably stuck in traffic.
“I have my family and my friends, phi. They help me look after them when I am at work, so I don’t worry too much because they have been helping me since day one. I won’t be able to last long without their help.”
“You have found great friends, Arthit. Did they ever ask? They are already at that age.”
“Ask about what, phi?”
“Well… their mother…”
Earth was looking at him warily as if she was unsure if she was in the position to ask but watching the expression played across her face when she was usually confident made Arthit chuckle before nodding his head.
“Yes, phi. A year or less ago… I think.”
Earth’s eyes widened as she dragged her chair closer to Arthit. “How did it go?”
“We...I just have to explain to them in a way that they would understand and at the same time remain true. Not sure though if they really understood, but they are kids, phi. They are curious, but the way they think is still pretty premature. They accepted what I just told them.”
“That’s true, though. They won’t ask complex things about how this and that happened.”
“And like I told you before, phi, it was her decision not to be involved and I accepted that. She called twice or thrice and they video-called but maybe not enough for Pluto and Muffin to look for her. I was actually surprised she called because I didn’t expect anything at all, but I cannot take that away from her, right? She’s still their mother after all and it’s not like we ended in a bad way. She actually has a family of her own now in Canada.”
“Oh, you said before that she left because she wasn’t yet ready, aside from it was already her plan even before she got pregnant to migrate, but didn’t want to get rid of the baby at the same time, right?”
Arthit nodded. “At least now, she’s ready and happy with her own family. I got to understand later on where she was coming from and I had no negative feelings about her leaving and not being involved.”
Because I will not have the family and the life I have now if things didn’t turn out the way it did.
“Because you’re happy with what you have and where you are now. And I also think you’re just kind like that, Arthit. I never see you as a person who harbors hatred towards someone. Brave, too! You didn’t run away from the responsibility and accepted it despite your young age.”
Arthit just pressed his lips together to form a thin-lipped smile. If you only knew, P’Earth.
“You’re cranky and whiny, that’s you, but to hate, na-uh!”
“P’Earth!”
Arthit was about to say more as he didn’t know if he should be happy with what Earth just said, but he heard the few ping sounds from his phone.
0062 👶 : Bangkok is not Bangkok without traffic 😫
0062 👶 : But we’re finally here
0062 👶 : Basement phi
“I’ll get going now, P’Earth. They’re here,” Arthit said as he got up on his feet and hung his bag on his shoulder.
“I want to meet Pluto and Muffin, but I’m too lazy to move plus this report I need to finish,” Earth pointed at her computer with a pout on her face. “Please send my regards to the kids and to N’Kong.”
Arthit secretly sighed in relief before he smiled at Earth and bade goodbye. “I will, phi. See you tomorrow.”
Earth had met Kongpob aside from the social events at the company. The very first time was when she coincidentally happened to be there when Kongpob dropped Arthit at work and Kongpob introduced himself as Arthit’s friend which Earth didn’t question. That was why Arthit was relieved she didn’t want to go down with him to meet the twins because he didn’t know what he would say if Muffin and Pluto addressed Kongpob as Dada. Would she still accept the reason Kongpob was a friend? Or maybe he could tell her the twins called his male friends as Dada and didn’t mean anything at all? That was believable, right?
Stop thinking too much, Arthit! He yelled at himself inside his head.
Arthit left the office and walked towards the elevator, his message with Kongpob still opened and he noticed him typing something.
0062 👶 : Phiiiii my butt hurts because of the traffic
0062 👶 : Can u give them a massage later? 😉
0062 👶 : I mean give ME a massage. Later. Naaa phi~ Had a tough day at work
Arthit chuckled on his own inside the elevator while shaking his head as he read Kongpob’s messages. “Pervert,” he mumbled to himself as he typed out his reply.
Arthit: Kongpob, u know what
Arthit: I can’t tell apart anymore when ur being serious & pervert
Arthit: So I just always assume ur pervert. And horny too
Arthit: Really, ur no longer a teenager with raging hormones, u know!
Arthit: 🤮🤮🤮
0062 👶 : Even a middle-aged couple has a better sex life than me 😭
0062 👶 : I feel so old as 24 phi
Arthit was exiting the elevator when he read Kongpob’s message and he failed to remember where he was when he started laughing a bit louder for other people to turn their attention to him. He pressed his lips together to suppress his laughter as he bowed and murmured his apology.
Arthit: FYI we did it not less then a month ago
0062 👶 : And we’re doing it soon again phi 😏
Arthit knocked on the window when he reached Kongpob’s car that was parked at the basement, the frown was there on his face as soon as he read Kongpob’s last message. When the door was unlocked, he sat on the passenger seat as he looked at the man next to him.
“What do you mean with your last—”
“Hi, Papa!” Muffin enthusiastically greeted him and gave him a kiss on his cheek, which Pluto did the same after her.
Kongpob just grinned on his own as he drove the car out of the parking space and then out of the building.
“We finished our homework early and practiced coloring, so we asked Dada if we could come here.”
“And we have some news!” Pluto added. And for Pluto to be this excited to be the bearer of the news, Arthit already started connecting the few dots inside his head and had an inkling of what the news was about.
“The answer to the question you didn’t get to finish asking,” Kongpob said with a playful smirk on his face.
Arthit just rolled his eyes at him before turning his attention back to the twins seated behind.
“Memaw called Dada earlier.” Arthit already knew what Muffin would say next. No doubt. “It’s P’Malee’s birthday ce-cebilation…”
Kongpob and Arthit just smiled as Arthit watched the confusion on Muffin’s face.
“It’s celebration, love. Ce-le-bra-tion,” Arthit corrected.
“Yeah, that’s it, Papa.” Arthit just shook his head and let it go. “It will be next Saturday, after this Saturday, and...and Memaw said there’s no school and work after—”
“Meaning it’s sleepover weekend again, am I right?”
“Yes!” Pluto and Muffin excitedly said in unison. “Freedom weekend!”
“You’re going to make a mess at Memaw’s house again.”
“Memaw said it’s fine, Papa.”
“And Pawpaw cleans them, too.”
The twins then laughed together after what Pluto had said. There was no denial that Kongpob’s parents spoiled the twins to their hearts’ content.
When the twins started discussing on their own of what they were going to do at Kongpob’s parents’ house, Arthit then turned to face Kongpob whose eyes were on the road but definitely had a corner of his mouth twitched upwards. Looking at him, Arthit could tell he was just as excited as the twins.
Indeed like a kid.
“And this is also why you’re so confident, am I right?”
“Krap.”
“Because you know I have a scheduled meeting next Sunday and we cannot stay the entire long weekend at your parents’?”
“Krap.” Kongpob quickly looked at him and gave him a wink. “And it’s not like these excited kids will like us to be there with them the entire weekend, phi. Did you hear them? Freedom weekend! Means they’re free from us.”
Arthit laughed at that while shaking his head because what Kongpob said was true. For Pluto and Muffin, they liked visiting Kongpob’s parents because it was when they had the freedom to do and eat whatever they wanted and be spoiled. It was when there was no Papa to always remind them to sleep early or to guard their screen time either with TV or their shared tablet and it was also when there was no Dada to limit or watch over what they were eating, telling them how important it was to eat their greens and to take their sweets in great moderation. At times Kongpob would act like some dietician-nutritionist, Arthit would just roll his eyes at him just to tease him while Pluto and Muffin were patiently listening to him and nodding their heads as they ate. Who knew if they were actually listening.
While the car drive was covered with the twins talking about their school, Arthit frowned when Kongpob took a turn away from their usual path to their place.
“Are we going somewhere?”
“Just a detour, phi.”
“Papa, Dada is going to buy us those tiny, wiggly pancakes we told you about before,” Muffin mentioned.
“Pancakes? It’s almost dinner and you’ll lose appetite. I bet you know this the most, Kong.”
“They’ll take it after dinner, phi, and it’s just one set of 2. They just want to try it and we can share the other piece.” Kongpob noticed Arthit turned to him with a glare from his peripheral. “They did their homework, did well in coloring, and initiated watering the plants, so…”
“I hope they didn’t drown the plants,” Arthit mumbled under his breath as he let the case rest. His phone then rang and when he pulled it out from his pocket, it was Apsara.
“Sawadee krap, mae,” Arthit greeted as he answered the call.
“Arthit, deaaaaaar~ How are you, son?”
“I’m doing okay, mae. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer your call earlier.”
“No worries. I called Kongpob after and he mentioned they were on the way to fetch you from work. Are you together now?”
“Yes, mae.”
“So I guess you already heard about next weekend? The twins were really excited when I called.”
“Oh, mae, you know it. They told me as soon as I got in the car.”
Apsara laughed on the other line. “It’s freedom weekend after all. Anyways, Arthit, dear?”
“Yes, mae?”
“You see, next weekend is just going to be a simple celebration just us family and I really want P’Thanom and P’Samorn to come. We haven’t all been together since the twins’ birthday last year.”
Arthit unconsciously glanced at Kongpob who was driving. “I’ll give them a call later, mae.”
“Please do, dear. I tried to invite your mom for lunch when I was around Pattaya, but she declined saying it was a busy day at the shop. I can have my driver pick them up so they won’t worry about travelling.”
“No, mae. I can come and pick them up. I haven’t been home for a while as well.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, mae. But I’ll see first if they will be available.”
“Please convince them na, dear? Ambhom made it on a weekend with a hope your parents can come. And I don’t want to be the one to call them as they might decline again.”
This caused Arthit to bite his lip. “I’ll try whatever I can, mae.”
“Thank you, Arthit. We’ll see you guys next week, okay?”
“See you soon, mae. Please always take care.”
Ambhom was Kongpob’s eldest sister and the mother of Malee who was really fond of Arthit’s parents since the first time they met. His elder sister, Achara, was no different. Perhaps it was because both their grandparents from their parents’ side were gone when they were younger and Kongpob even didn’t meet them anymore when he was growing up, so despite that Arthit’s parents were just a few years older than their parents, they found that connection with them they wanted from their grandparents. Kongpob’s sisters without a doubt loved Arthit’s father’s humour. They even teased Kerkkrai by telling him he was so serious in life, but even so, it was also Thanom’s humour and warmth that made Kongpob’s entire family love him. For Samorn, even though she was shy and aside from she was just as lovely as Arthit, it was her cooking that the Sutthilucks really loved because she would cook dishes and delicacies that people would go for in Pattaya. In short, Samorn would bring Pattaya to Bangkok with her dishes and specialties.
As they all arrived home after buying the soufflé pancakes, Kongpob maneuvered around the kitchen to prepare their dinner while he told Arthit he could shower first. Arthit just nodded his head as he went straight to their bedroom with the twins to shower together.
Kongpob smiled on his own as he heard from their room Pluto and Muffin’s laughter. Arthit was probably teasing them again by tickling their armpits as he washed them. It was their most ticklish area followed by their neck and their sides and they both loved hearing their laughter resonating in their house.
It was music to their ears.
Not long after he was done cooking, the three already came out from the bedroom. Muffin and Pluto were wearing their favorite Paw Patrol pyjama pair while Kongpob was certain Arthit was wearing one of his oversized plain white shirts and he felt his throat dry at how the one side of the shirt was almost slipping off of his shoulder that exposed his clavicle for Kongpob’s eyes to feast on.
Arthit on the other hand might or might not be clueless of the effect he had on the younger.
Why is P’Arthit this ethereal? was a question Kongpob had been asking since the first time his eyes laid on Arthit and he still kept questioning it.
“I can smell Dada’s chicken pops,” mentioned Pluto while sniffing the smell, pulling Kongpob back from his thoughts. A wide grin stretched across Pluto’s face when he sat on his spot at the dining area and saw the chicken pops on the table.
“You only smelled your favorite and ignored the mixed vegetables,” Kongpob said as he put a serving of the mixed vegetables on Pluto’s plate whose face turned sour in a playful manner.
Arthit could only laugh and shake his head at the scene as it was nothing new anymore. No matter how much they didn’t like vegetables, including him, there was nothing they could do once it was Kongpob who put them on their plate. Sometimes, they also had no choice when it was their only meal.
They actually had no choice since it was Kongpob who was making their meals every day!
“Papa, too!” Muffin immediately protested with a pout when she saw Kongpob didn’t put some on Arthit’s plate.
“Papa already knows what to do about that, Muff,” said Kongpob and gave Arthit a wink.
“I can eat vegetables, okay!” Arthit stuck a tongue out as he got his serving of mixed vegetables on his plate, the other three just chuckled at his reaction. He was just glad Kongpob paired it with chicken pops, otherwise, he would eat those greens with a heavy heart. In the 6 years they were together, it was still hard work for Kongpob to make Arthit eat vegetables. He just stopped fighting back when the twins started growing up and started eating more solid foods because Kongpob told him he should set an example. But sometimes he would still sulk about it especially when he was together with the twins because he knew Kongpob would struggle to decline if it was the three of them.
After their dinner, Arthit offered to wash the dishes while the twins were enjoying the pancake, but Kongpob reminded him that he should call his parents about next weekend. Arthit agreed as he told Kongpob he would use his office to call them.
“Phi,” Kongpob called before Arthit could walk away. Arthit looked at him and raised his brows, his signature dimpled smile on his face. “If mae and por can’t really make it, it’s okay. I’m sure mom will understand.”
Arthit just looked at Kongpob for a while before he mumbled a soft okay and turned around to walk to Kongpob’s office.
Kongpob watched Arthit’s retreating back with a small sigh escaping his lips before he returned to washing the dishes.
Kongpob wasn’t insensitive. He knew that Arthit’s mother, Samorn, hadn’t fully opened herself up to them, hadn’t fully accepted that they were a family—the Suthilucks and the Rojnapats—even after the years that passed. Arthit’s father, Thanom, on the other hand was much friendlier. He was cool in everything and he really got along with him and his family in an instant. Kerkkrai actually liked having a drink and talking with him. He was a funny man, a social butterfly if you would, but Arthit’s mother had ever since been distant. No, she didn’t hate Kongpob or his family. She also never acted in a way that Kongpob would feel he was not accepted or wanted for Arthit. It could just be Samorn's shy nature. The first time he had met her, she was quiet and very shy and Kongpob knew right then where Arthit took after the most. Even after they came out to them and told about their situation , she didn’t say or ask so much. She yelled, yes, but Kongpob understood as he saw in her eyes the disappointment, the surprise that they had kept their relationship for a year and then dropped them a bombshell, but she was never angry. Well, not in front of him and his parents because Arthit had told him everything that happened after that day when he got home to Pattaya with his parents. But when they had all calmed down from all the revelations, Samorn was actually the first one to hug him and Arthit, telling them that it would be all right and that they were not alone.
Kongpob knew and felt Samorn cared for him as well like her own son. There were times she would call him to ask how the twins were doing then would be followed with asking how he was doing. There were also times she would just randomly apologize to him, but Kongpob understood and he would always tell her, ‘There is nothing to apologize for, mae. I am happy where I am with P’Arthit and the kids, so rest assured, mae.’ But even after all that, Kongpob knew how Samorn was still trying to get used to their setting, to having a bigger family all of a sudden and living far from them and barely visited also did not help her be closer and comfortable with him and his family, or even with the idea of them being a family. And Kongpob couldn’t blame her for that. He knew it would still take time for her and they respected that. Besides, she was just uncomfortable or shy but never actually made him and his family feel not welcome.
And it was more than enough.
As soon as Arthit got in Kongpob’s office, he locked the door behind him and walked towards the window before dialling his mother’s number. It was already past 8 in the evening and his parents were probably already preparing to turn in as they had another early day tomorrow at the flower shop.
Their flower shop was called Oon’s Bloom Room and it was his parents' business ever since they got married, which was originally named as The Bloom Room, but Arthit’s parents’ registered for business name change when Samorn got pregnant with Arthit. She had always hoped Arthit would be as warm as the sun, as his name, when he grew up, which he was. Thanom even added a one liner or a tagline of such ‘ The flowers that will warm your heart’ and it became a known shop since the growth in numbers of wedding and public events being held in resorts in Pattaya.
Arthit sat by the window sill and saw Kongpob’s computer was flashing his screensaver—photos of the four of them together across the years. Arthit smiled seeing the very first photo he and Kongpob took together. It was the day they brought the twins home to their new apartment and Kongpob wanting to keep a memory through a picture set his camera on timer mode before sitting next to Arthit on the couch. Kongpob was holding a crying Muffin in his arms while Arthit was holding a sleeping Pluto. And the other photos were of them as well but in different places with Pluto and Muffin growing up. Kongpob actually had one album wherein he took photos of the twins dressed up from their 1st until the 12th month. Remembering that, Arthit felt the urge to check all the photo albums they were able to collect across the years that were mostly taken by Kongpob.
“Hi, mom,” Arthit greeted when his mother answered the call.
“Hello, Oon. You haven’t called in a while. How are you, son?”
“I’m okay, mom. Still the same. How about you and dad? I’m sorry for not calling a lot and for not coming home.”
“I understand, Oon. We are doing good here. It’s not really busy at the shop on a daily basis lately, but we have quite a number of services for weddings and some events coming.”
“Ohhhh, mom is getting richer, I see,” Arthit teased that made his mother laugh. If they were together, Arthit knew his mother had already hit him on his head. “But don’t exhaust yourself too much, mom. Same as dad. You have all the help there anyways, so no need to work too much.”
“Oon, your dad and I love doing this. It’s what we only do, you know, and we have been doing this for a loooong time.”
“I know, mom, but rest, okay?”
“Kraaaaap, P’Arthit.”
Arthit heard his mother giggling on the other line but he was more surprised that his mother teased him by imitating Kongpob’s tone of voice, especially that dragging sound of krap , every time Kongpob lost in an argument and ended up obeying whatever Arthit wanted.
Arthit just shook his head at his mother’s teasing. “By the way, mom, I have something to tell. Are you and dad available next weekend?”
“Next weekend? Hmm… The wedding event will be this weekend and the next one will be at the end of the month, so I guess next weekend is free. It’s a long weekend too. Why? Are you guys coming down?”
“Well…” Arthit pressed his lips. “ I am coming down if you’re free next weekend.”
“How about the twins and Kong? Are they not coming?”
“Actually, mom, next weekend is Malee’s birthday celebration. Mae called me earlier and she really wants you and dad to come over and get together again.”
Arthit heard his mother sigh on the other line.
“Oon…”
“You said you’re free, right?”
“Oon, it’s a family celebration. It’s Kong’s niece’s birthday.”
“And it’s also why Mae wants you and dad to come, mom, because it’s a family celebration. P’Ambhom even made it a weekend so you can come.”
“I don’t know, Oon…”
“Mae also said she tried inviting you for lunch but you declined.”
“Because I don’t know what we’re going to do if I agreed to meet her.”
“Eat lunch, mom. You know she’s really friendly and easy to be with. She’s just like Kong.”
“It’s just… It’s just we’re different, Oon. You know me and I’m sure she won’t enjoy my company.”
“I don’t think she’d be persistent inviting you if she didn’t want your company, mom.”
“Maybe she’s just being kind? That’s Kong’s family, Oon. They have done nothing but be kind to us ever since…”
“Mom… it’s…” Arthit gulped as he felt a lump suddenly growing behind his throat. He didn’t know what else to say to make his mother agree and to make her feel better. He knew where the hesitation was coming from. It wasn’t the first time they had a talk similar to this because every time Kongob’s parents would invite them for a gathering that was not mainly for Muffin and Pluto, their grandchildren, his mother was the one hesitating. If it was his father, he would say yes without second thought, but it was always like this with his mother and he couldn’t help but feel hurt for her as well. He didn’t know what else he needed to do or say to make her feel that Kongpob’s family welcomed them without judgment. It was true they had shown them nothing but kindness and yet she was still holding back to fully open herself up to them. He knew what she was feeling and thinking ever since because it was how he felt before as well—that they brought Kongpob and his family into a situation that they shouldn’t be in in the first place. They gave Kongpob a responsibility and a role he shouldn’t be part of. He was young, full of dreams, an heir to his family’s business, and all that had to change because he decided to be with Arthit.
But they never heard Kongpob’s family say anything bad about them, never treated them as if they were to be blamed for bringing Kongpob into their mess. They just accepted Arthit and his parents just how they accepted Kongpob’s decision to share the responsibility with Arthit at such a young age. And Arthit just learned to accept them as well. Learned to accept and feel grateful that Kongpob and his family were supportive of them and had been there with them since the beginning. He wasn’t sure how things would turn out if it was not Kongpob, if it was not the Suthilucks, but he knew it would be different.
He suddenly remembered what the mother of the twins told him before she left: “I’m sorry for putting or forcing you in this situation, Arthit. I’m sorry for almost ruining the relationship that you treasure the most. And I know I am selfish and even more selfish to say this, but I don’t regret not getting rid of them, Arthit. I really don’t. And I also don’t regret going through the pregnancy. Seeing your family and his family treat me so well all this time, I know they are going to be in good hands—in your care and in theirs.”
“Please, mom?” was what Arthit only managed to say.
“What are we gonna do there, Oon? We’re not even…” Samorn paused for a while and when she spoke again, her voice came out as a whisper, “ We are not family, Oon…”
“Mom… You know that’s not true...” mumbled Arthit as he felt his chest tighten. He was even surprised when he felt a tear streamed down his face. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he felt his lips tremble. He was hurt. Not of what his mother said, but because of what made her say it. Arthit would never be honest about this to anyone, but he knew he was to be blamed. He was to be blamed why his mother was feeling like she would never belong in this big family, that if what happened five years ago didn’t happen, there was no family at all. He was to be blamed why she was still feeling guilty because she felt like they forced Kongpob into a mess he didn’t do. Arthit knew what he did and he was so ready to let everything go, to let Kongpob go, but like what Kongpob kept telling him over and over again, it was his decision to stay and that he never regretted it once. And Arthit never once questioned that because if Kongpob was just all words, he would have left the first few months they had Pluto and Muffin because those months indeed tested their relationship.
Five years had passed and Kongpob was still with him.
If Kongpob decided to stay, Arthit decided to not let go.
“Pluto and Muffin will be there and they miss you. Even just for them, mom?”
There was a silence between them for a while and Arthit suddenly remembered what Kongpob told him earlier.
“But if it’s really not possible, I understand, mom…”
“Oooooon…” Samorn sighed on the line. “Okay, for Pluto and Muffin. And for you and Kong.”
Arthit smiled hearing that. “Thank you, mom.”
“Anything for you, Oon. Anything. Please take care of yourself, okay? Tell Kong that as well.”
“Will sure do, mom. Love you.”
When the call ended, Arthit wiped his face as he looked out the window, a sigh of relief escaping his lips and the tightness in his chest now vanishing. He was about to walk out of Kongpob’s office when he noticed a small pad next to Kongpob’s computer. He jotted something down before stepping out of the room with a smile. He liked leaving Kongpob random notes and he knew Kongpob kept all of it as well. It ranged from him reminding Kongpob of the simple things that he usually forgot such as watering the plants, leaving his house without the keys, or even reminding him of his weekly touchpoint meeting with his father and his boss, Paga, to professing his love for the younger using simple short sentences jotted down on a pad he usually left on his office table, sometimes on his computer’s monitor so it was the first thing he would see as soon as he sat down on his chair.
Between them, Kongpob was definitely and without a doubt the man of words, always saying those mushy and romantic stuff like a poet, but Arthit knew Kongpob treasured every effort, small or not, he exerted just to let him know that he just loved him just as much. Besides, he had already told him before that saying I love you so often would lose its meaning in the long run and he would get tired of it but actions would always speak louder.
So Arthit acted by writing it down on his pad.
I love you, 0062.
Always.
Arthit was surprised when he emerged from the office and saw Kongpob sitting on the couch waiting for him while holding a steaming cup of either coffee or tea in his hands. Their eyes met for a while before Arthit showed him a dimpled smile and walked towards him.
“I put them to bed, phi, and they’re down in an instant. No story-telling needed.” Kongpob said as he handed Arthit the cup. “Chamomile. Will help you sleep better.”
Arthit mumbled a soft thank you as he settled himself next to Kongpob, putting down the cup of tea on the table in front of them.
Chamomile tea. Arthit smiled as he looked at the steaming cup of tea in front of him. It was always the tea Kongpob would prepare for him every time he knew Arthit had a rough day or he had an intense battle with his thoughts inside his head since Arthit sometimes found it hard to sleep when he had so much stuff going on in his head. These little things Kongpob did for him to show how much he cared for him never went unnoticed by Arthit and he was more than thankful.
“Mom said they will come next weekend.”
“You didn’t…”
Arthit shook his head. “Don’t worry, Kong. Mom said they will come for us . It’s enough, right?”
Kongpob smiled as he reached for Arthit’s hand and intertwined it with his. “Of course, phi. More than enough.”