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The best thing about California, besides the fact that he got to see his father regularly, was its beaches. By adjusting his regular runs from road to sand, Ushijima was able to focus on strengthening muscles that he rarely used. The ocean breeze was refreshing, the California coastline was inarguably beautiful, and he had even found himself enjoying people watching whenever he took a break or stopped at a cafe. Families having a beach day, tourists on vacation, students taking a break; the beaches were full of people from every walk of life. There was something gratifying about it, knowing that he was just one of the thousands of people to visit these beaches every day.
A buzzing from Ushijima’s pocket interrupted his thoughts. He slowed his pace and pulled out his phone, expecting nothing more than a spam call, but was surprised at the smiling face of the contact that greeted him. He stopped in his tracks and answered the call.
“Satori?” Ushijima asked.
Tendou’s voice greeted him from the other end of the line. “Hey Toshi. Have you eaten dinner yet?” His tone was bright as usual, but there was a weight to it that Ushijima recognized as familiar and unsettling. He thought Tendou was sleeping, they had already texted goodnight to one another a few hours ago.
“No, but I’m meeting up with my father at a restaurant later tonight. You should be asleep.” He checked his phone to be sure of the time, having manually adjusted its settings to show clocks for both the local time and Paris time on his home screen. “It’s past 3 am. Is there something wrong?”
Tendou sighed heavily, though it was muffled. Ushijima could picture Tendou stuffing his face into his pillow with the covers pulled over his head. “I know. Nothing’s wrong, I’ve just been having trouble sleeping. It’s never quiet here, too many tourists.”
Ushijima could certainly relate to that. Los Angeles was so far removed from his life in Miyagi that it sometimes felt like being on another planet instead of just in another country. Even with his blinds closed at night, the streetlights were too bright and the traffic outside his window was loud and distracting. But, unlike Tendou, Ushijima had the natural ability to fall asleep quickly in almost any location and had gotten used to keeping up his normal routine in the new environment. He had even managed to sleep for the whole plane ride from Japan to California, while Tendou could toss and turn all night long in his own bed and had complained to Ushijima at length about his own sleepless plane ride to France the moment he landed last week.
“You’ll adjust soon enough,” Ushijima assured him. Even with Tendou’s bouts of insomnia, he would feel at home eventually. It just needed time. “I shouldn’t keep you though, you’re there to learn and sleep is a priority.”
“Yeah. I just thought that if I heard your voice it would make things easier.” The line went quiet as Tendou paused. Ushijima waited and listened to Tendou take a slow, deep breath. “It makes me feel like I’m back at home in Miyagi with you.”
Ushijima gave a small smile, soft and sad. As grateful as he was to be spending time with his father and as much as he had been enjoying California, speaking on the phone with Tendou was always bittersweet. Ushijima missed him, missed home. “Then I’ll stay on for a little while,” he agreed, finding a place on the sand where he could sit for some time and admire the ocean. “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”
“Not really,” Tendou replied, but Ushijima knew the tone of voice and imagined a wry smile on his face. “I’ve just been thinking. Long distance really sucks, I just wish that we could skip ahead to when we’ve finished school and started our careers and we can move in together somewhere. I can’t wait to have a place that’s just ours. Is it weird that I’m excited to, like, own stuff that we get to pick out ourselves? Oh, we could get a pet!”
Moving in together wasn’t something that they had discussed much in anything other than the abstract. There were no set details in mind of when or where it would happen, because there weren’t any set details of where their respective careers would take them, but ever since graduation it had been a certainty of Ushijima’s life. He would pursue a career as a professional volleyball player, he would reconnect with his father, he would live with Tendou. Hearing Tendou’s excitement was something else, however. Ushijima was effortlessly able to picture the well stocked kitchen and overly stuffed bookshelves that Tendou would insist on. The idea of a pet was interesting as well. Not many starter apartments allowed pets and who knew what their schedules would look like, but they could have something small and low maintenance. Maybe a cat, or something smaller. A lizard or a turtle?
He huffed, trying to push away the painfully domestic train of thought. “It’s just a little while longer. Besides, we’ve done long distance before.”
Tendou scoffed. “Yeah, a few years is ‘just a little while’ and a two hour train ride is ‘long distance’. It would just be so much better if you were here with me. Like, obviously everything here is really fun and amazing. My orientation group toured through The Louvre the other day! The fucking Louvre!”
“I know, you sent me pictures.” Tendou had, in fact, dutifully taken a photo of every painting or sculpture that had even slightly resembled themselves or one of their friends and labelled each one with increasingly ridiculous captions such as ‘Goshiki’s baby pictures’ or ‘Shirabu with a beard’. Though Ushijima’s favorites were all the selfies Tendou had taken, attempting to mimic exaggerated poses. They all made him smile, seeing Tendou being himself on the other side of the world was reassuring.
But the way this conversation was going was starting to concern him. Was Tendou regretting his trip to Paris? That couldn’t be, he had accepted an offer to go to his dream school. Was he regretting long distance? Did he want to end things? Ushijima shifted his fingers through the sand to keep from fidgeting.
“I just felt like I wasn’t really enjoying it much,” Tendou admitted and Ushijima braced himself. The thought that Tendou might end things here, that he wasn’t able to handle being apart on top of all the uncertainties of their future was enough to stop Ushijima’s heart. He held his breath as Tendou continued. “All I wanted to do was walk through the museum holding your hand and ask you what you thought of all the art we got to see. It was like the perfect romantic place but I was all by myself. I’m so grateful to be here but. I dunno, it feels a bit empty sometimes.”
Ushijima let out the breath in relief. He hadn’t realized this fear of their relationship coming to an end was so great. And it hurt him to know that Tendou was feeling lonely. He wanted nothing more than to be able to hold Tendou and make him feel better, but for now words were all he had and that had never been a strong suit of Ushijima’s. He tried anyway.
“Satori,” he began. “I’m so proud of you and all the incredible things that you’re going to do in school. You’re experiencing something so unique and special, you deserve to enjoy it.”
Tendou sighed and Ushijima could hear the smile in his voice. “I am enjoying it, really. I’m just sick of being alone.” They were both quiet at that. Ushijima let the sound of the ocean wash over him. If he strained his ears, he felt as though he could even hear the Paris traffic from Tendou’s end of the call. It was a strange sensation, to be so aware of his place in the universe, of the physical distance between them. Ushijima looked at the water, its lazy waves almost touching his shoes, and considered its vastness.
“You know, I thought about it earlier,” Tendou broke their silence and Ushijima hummed in the affirmative, urging him to continue. “When I’m done with school and we’re back together at home? More than half of our relationship will have been spent apart than together. It just made me sad to think about.”
That was… Ushijima had never considered that. He quickly did the math in his head, but Tendou was right. With Tendou studying abroad for school, they would likely only see each other for a few weeks at a time during holidays and semester breaks. And even once Tendou had his degree and they were finally able to live together, who knew how often Ushijima’s job would take him away from home to travel internationally. He might even be recruited to a foreign country. Would Tendou ever be able to travel with him? Would he even want to? The thought of not being together after all of their time apart, all the uncertainty, he hated it. And then it clicked.
“Marry me.”
“Excuse me?” Tendou sputtered. There was a loud shuffling over the phone and Ushijima assumed that Tendou had shot to his feet.
“Let’s get married,” he repeated firmly. There was no choice to turn back now anyway. “I want this, I want you, forever.”
“You’re kidding.” It wasn’t a question. Tendou was always far more intuitive compared to Ushijima, it had made him so infamous in high school after all. But after having such a close relationship for so many years, Ushijima had considered himself at least proficient in reading Tendou as well. He couldn’t read anything in this tone of voice and decided to counter it with sincerity. Tendou had faced a lot of rejection over the years and still sometimes had trouble accepting affection, despite Ushijima’s blunt honesty. Sometimes it helped to remind him, though.
“I don’t kid often. I would never kid about this, Satori.”
“No, you aren’t serious,” Tendou insisted. “You can’t be serious. You had better not be!”
Ushijima frowned. He had obviously expected Tendou to be surprised, the impulse had surprised himself, but this was not an ideal reaction. “I’m sorry?” he ventured.
Tendou let out a shaky whine. Thankfully, that was familiar, Ushijima knew how to handle embarrassed-Tendou. “You did not just propose to me from the other side of the world over the phone! Do you realize what day it is?”
He smiled, instantly picturing Tendou hiding his red face behind his hands. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I know this isn’t exactly the right way to do this. I just. I realized how sure I am of this and what I want and I needed to tell you.”
“No, stop. Shut up. Stop that!”
It was fairly easy to tease Tendou, but Ushijima didn’t think he had ever witnessed him become this overwhelmed before. He could hear Tendou rapidly breathing through his nose to calm himself, but it kept being punctuated with little huffs of laughter. Ushijima couldn’t resist teasing him a little more. “What is it?”
“Do you seriously not understand what you just did?” Tendou groaned, through bubbles of laughter.
“I told you I want to marry you,” Ushijima said, certain that Tendou was able to hear the grin he couldn’t keep off his face.
“Stop saying it!” he hissed. “Look at the date.”
Ushijima furrowed his brow in confusion, but obeyed regardless. He checked his phone where, beneath the two clock faces, it read March 31st. It wasn’t a birthday or an anniversary or anything significant that he could think of. “What about it?”
“You proposed to me. Over the phone. On April fucking Fool’s Day?”
Well that was somewhat unfortunate. “It’s still March in California,” he countered.
“That doesn’t matter!” Tendou shrieked. “Do you think Semi will ever let this go? He will hold this over my head and laugh forever. I could literally be on my deathbed and he’d say ‘hey remember when Ushiwaka told you that he wanted to marry you on the day known internationally for playing practical jokes on people’!” His terrible impression of Semi’s voice dissolved into even more laughter.
“I promise I’ll give you a more appropriate proposal in the future,” Ushijima assured him. Semi was the most artistic person in their friend group, maybe he could take pictures. They would want to be outside, maybe when the sun was setting so that the light could catch Tendou’s eyelashes. The thought made Ushijima’s cheeks warm.
“Wakatoshi,” Tendou sighed, finally getting a hold of himself and turning his voice serious. “We’re still really young and we don’t have any money, even between the two of us.”
It was a valid point, but Ushijima was not willing to let this go. “Later then. Once things are just like you said they’ll be. When we’ve skipped ahead and have our careers in order. That’s when I’ll marry you.”
That’s when they would be fiancés. And then husbands. For the rest of their lives. The thought made his head swim pleasantly, like he was floating in the ocean.
Tendou’s laugh brought him back to earth. “Jeez, worst proposal ever,” he said, but it was clear that he was smiling too. “Not giving me much of a choice in this, huh?”
That was a fair point. He hadn’t asked yet. “Satori,” he said, trying to convey all his feelings into the name. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes. Eventually.” Then Tendou huffed dramatically. “God, you’re ridiculous.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” Tendou replied. A few moments passed by in comfortable silence. Ushijima felt warm, being with Tendou always made him feel that way. The water rushed towards Ushijima once again, the tide having risen slightly and a light mist coating him. Maybe he would bring Tendou here someday. Maybe this is where they would have their proper proposal. He loved the California beaches, after all.
“You should go to sleep now, Satori,” Ushijima suggested quietly, hesitant to break their silence.
“Um, no!” Tendou shouted, easily loud enough to wake his flatmates. Ushijima wondered if he should mail something to the address as an apology. It was a wonder no one had interrupted them already. “I can’t sleep now! I might not be able to sleep ever again. I’m shaking so hard it looks like I drank three coffees. I think I’m crying?”
“I’m sorry you’re sad,” he attempted to tease one more time, but it was impossible not to join in on Tendou’s laughter. Yes, he was definitely floating.
“Oh haha, Mister I-Would-Never-Joke-About-This,” Tendou deadpanned. “You can fuck right off. Leave me alone with my sappy emotions.”
“I’m not going to leave you alone. We just talked about this. I’m going to marry you.”
“Stop!”