Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Donghyuck can’t even bring himself to go back inside, feeling like he’d been punched in the chest with the kind of intense sudden exhaustion you can only get after an intense sudden high. He sends Renjun a quick text that he’s not feeling well and is taking off early, and decides to walk the near mile back to his hotel. It’s dark, and he’s unpleasantly damp, but he can’t bring himself to call a taxi with all the excess energy pumping through him. So he sets off toward his hotel, trying to work it off, and trying to make sense of the frank fucking disaster that was that entire confrontation.

He’s angry, still, of course, at Jaemin’s fucking nerve, at his arrogance, at every assumption he’s made. That he thinks he can play with his friends lives like it’s nothing, and still think he’s doing the right thing. That he can treat people like shit and then expect him to want to fucking date him.

But it’s hard to get it through his brain, that Jaemin’s actually been developing feelings for him this whole time. So much so that he’d put himself out of his comfort like this to ask Donghyuck out, to confess his feelings that Donghyuck has to accept are real. In whatever twisted fucking way Jaemin feels things for people.

Some part of Donghyuck feels bad, the twist of pain on Jaemin’s face flashing in his mind, the hurt in his eyes. He knows the pain of rejection, and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and something twinges in him knowing that he caused that in someone.

But ultimately, he knows his dislike of Jaemin is perfectly justified. And he can’t bring himself to regret a thing.

༻❁༺

Donghyuck can barely sleep that night, ruminating on everything, cycling between anger and surprise and frustration over and over until the exhaustion finally takes over and pulls him into a fitful sleep.

He wakes up a handful of hours later, groggy and feeling hungover, even though he’d barely sipped on the champagne the night before. He checks his phone, replies to a few texts from Renjun checking in on him, ignores a text from Jeno asking how it went because he’s not quite ready to tell him about everything yet.

He taps into his email, checking for anything important, and is about to tap on an email from Johnny when he feels his phone vibrate with a new email, and his eyes pop open, suddenly completely alert when it loads. He sees an email from Jaemin in his inbox, subject stating simply: A Letter.

He nearly deletes it without even reading, anger flashing hot within him again, but instead just locks his phone and throws it down on the bed.

No fucking way I’m reading that, Donghyuck thinks. He’s said enough.

He stretches, rubs at his eyes, tries to put it out of his mind, and has his phone open again within 30 seconds, tapping on the email and blinking in shock at the length as he scrolls all the way to the bottom and then back up to the start.

Donghyuck, it begins.

First of all, don’t worry — I’m not here to try to convince you to go out with me. I won’t bring back up any of my feelings that you found so disgusting. I’m happy to forget that that ever happened, which I’m sure you will be too. I mostly want to explain myself on some of the things that you brought up last night. I know you probably don’t want to hear another word from me, but I just... can't leave it as it is, I have to try.

You accused me of separating Mark and Jeno — I don’t deny it. I don’t know Jeno that well, but I know Mark, and I know how deeply he falls for people. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him fall for someone so quickly. So I watched them at every chance I could, that first dinner we had together, and then the night Jeno came over for dinner and stayed over especially, and in the following weeks. Jeno was always nice and friendly, but never made any indication that he was interested in anything seriously, even when Mark was completely transparent about his feelings. You were there for a lot of that, too, and obviously you know Jeno better than I do, so maybe you saw more there in how he acted with Mark that I couldn’t pick up on, but to me, it wasn’t anywhere near the same level of investment. Even when you’d tease them about dating, Jeno seemed awkward about it or tried to stop it.

Judging from what you said last night, I’m guessing we interpreted this differently, but I tried my best to assess it objectively, and was pretty confident in what I saw. Mark was already wary of getting in too deep with someone who lived far away, even with money to travel, long distance relationships are hard. All I did to influence him was tell him the truth about what I saw from Jeno. I know I had a heavy hand in it, but it was his decision, too. And I don’t regret encouraging him to cut it off.

Donghyuck stops reading here, locking his phone again and throwing it down, furious all over again at the entire situation. He didn’t know what he expected, really, when he started reading, if not a renewal of Jaemin’s offer or his feelings, but he did not expect a whole explanation from him, shamelessly spelling out all his stupid assumptions as if he was totally justified in all his meddling. Pretentious fucking asshole.

He sits up fully, pushing the blanket aside and stretching his hands up over his head, working the sleep from his muscles, trying to relax the tight set of his jaw and neck. He glances over at his phone again, for just a second.

He picks it back up and once again has the email open in seconds, scanning to find where he left off, rereading the last line:

I know I had a heavy hand in it, but it was his decision, too. And I don’t regret encouraging him to cut it off.

There’s only one thing I do regret, and it’s hiding from him that Jeno’s been in L.A. all month, which I knew, and purposely lied about. I knew he couldn’t see Jeno without his feelings coming back and making things worse. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe it was wrong of me, but I thought it was for his own good. Maybe none of these reasons are good enough for you, and I know you probably see me as a heartless asshole who tried to ruin our best friends’ happiness, but I’ve only ever tried to protect him.

As for the rumors… I guess I can only counter them by explaining some of my background and some private affairs that happened years ago. You probably know that my parents were both actors as well, and obviously this gave me a pretty good advantage when I started going into acting seriously. My first agent I signed with was an old friend of my parents’ who they’d known for years. I didn’t know him well, but he helped me manage my parents’ assets and their legacy after they died, just after I turned 18. I never really connected well with him, but my parents trusted him, and I trusted them, so I chose — foolishly, it turned out — to believe the best of him. I landed several roles in the following few years that made my career, roles that I couldn’t believe I got despite my inexperience, and I was grateful. I assumed he was just well-connected.

I was about 21 when rumors started surfacing that I was paying off various production staff to be casted in some of my roles. I immediately dismissed them as completely baseless, and waited for them to pass, but they didn’t go away. I started looking into the possibility of a defamation lawsuit, when some accusers came forth with actual evidence that money had traded hands to get me into lead roles, and a full investigation took place. My agent, the man I’d trusted in my youthful naivete, was proven to be the one paying off directors to help jumpstart my career, using my own parents’ money, and was found guilty of bribery and money laundering, among other things. I haven’t made any of this public knowledge, both out of my own embarrassment in the truth about the beginning of my career, and out of a respect for my parents, who died thinking their friend was much more good and trustworthy than he was. The thing that made me want to keep it quiet the most, though, was the involvement of my little brother, Jisung.

My agent had always been extra friendly with Jisung, which made me a little uneasy, but I figured it was his closeness with my parents that made him want to be close with Jisung after they were gone. But when everything surfaced, it turned out he had used Jisung’s information in his schemes to use my parents’ funds, which dragged Jisung into the investigation too. I could handle my issues with my agent for myself, but Jisung getting pulled into it just crossed a line. I put every resource and attorney I could into clearing his name, and keeping him out of any public scrutiny. I tried my best to keep tabloids and news outlets quiet, because it’s already a struggle to keep Jisung out of the limelight. He’s the only one in my family who’s never pursued a public career, and it’s important to me to give him as normal a life as possible. He was still just a teenager.

I hope this email explains things well enough to help you understand at least where I’m coming from. I know I could have explained this all to you last night, but clearly we both got pretty worked up, and I don’t think I would’ve explained myself well, or you would have listened. If you doubt me at all, which I know is likely with how much you dislike me, I can provide legal proof of everything that happened, if you want. There are probably some records of court proceedings available to the public that you could find too, if you really don’t trust me and want to do some digging.

Thank you for reading, and please don't feel like you have to reply to this at all. This is all just something I had to say. I guess I’ll also just say, I hope you the best, Donghyuck.

- Jaemin

Donghyuck reads through the email so quickly that he barely registers what he’s reading from one line to the next, and finishes it with his heart pounding in his throat, entirely unsure of what and how to feel. He looks up, mind racing, and part of him wants to put it down and never read it again. But then looks back down at his phone, scrolls to the top, and starts it again.

The whole first half about Jeno still pisses him right the fuck off, but he reads through it with a grimace on his face, trying to calm himself to power through to the second half again, reading through it all a second time, and then a third.

It’s so much to take in, too fucking much, and he finally tosses his phone down again to get up and shower, turning the water hot and letting it pound into his shoulders as he mulls over every damn moment from the last six months.

To think that Jaemin had something like that happen to him, and for it to be kept entirely under wraps was shocking, to say the least. He can't help but feel bad, at how awful it must have felt to find out your whole career was essentially a lie — a tool for someone else's gain. Their industry was cruel enough as it is, even without being used like that. Some part of Donghyuck wants to write it off bitterly anyway, because Jaemin was obviously born with a damn gold-flaked silver spoon in his mouth and the legacy of his parents’ careers laid out in front of him, like it usually is for rich people, but, still. Jaemin clearly deeply cares for his family, and for his work.

And Donghyuck had called him a selfish cheater to his face, had gotten up into his space and said he hated him. He’d always known, at some level, that the rumors were still just rumors, but he can't help but recoil internally at how easily he'd equipped them, because he'd wanted to, and how he'd thrown them in Jaemin's face to wound him, whether they were true or not. He deserved it, though, Donghyuck thinks bitterly, and then questions whether he even believes that's true anymore.

He turns the shower off with a bitter feeling of shame crawling up around his chest.

He does hate him, though, still, doesn't he? Even if Jaemin wasn't as much of a horrible fucking person, he was still rude, and snobby, and undeniably wrong in his treatment of Mark and Jeno. Surely literally fucking anyone could tell how into Mark Jeno was, right? Donghyuck groans into his hands as he pats his face dry with the hotel towel, frustrated and tired that he's even questioning that, now, too. Questioning everything.

Donghyuck could see Jeno's feelings for Mark from the very start. It was in Jeno's quiet attention, in the way he looked at Mark, at his phone when Mark texted, the way he blushed when Donghyuck would tease him — mostly when they were alone, though, Donghyuck concedes. Had he never acted embarrassed like that in front of Mark and Jaemin themselves? Was Jeno really that hard to read for other people?

“I think he tried to hold my hand at one point? But I messed it up because I was nervous and didn't realize what he was doing.” Donghyuck can hear Jeno recounting it in his head, and he releases a long sigh. No fucking wonder Mark was so easily convinced Jeno wasn't into him. They went on like five dates and never even kissed.

He wraps the towel around his waist and makes his way back into the room, grabbing his phone again and walking to the window, Seattle laid out in front of him. He squints against the rare sight of the December sun high in the sky, lighting up the city in a way he'd never seen before.

He unlocks his phone and skims through the email again, weighing every line, again and again. He lets his hand fall limply by his side when he finishes, staring out the hotel window for a long, long time.

Could I really have been so wrong?

༻❁༺

Donghyuck stares at the text from Jeno about the event and finally just gives a generic reply, resolving not to say anything more about it until they're at least both back in Vancouver and can talk in person. He spends the whole train ride home leaning on his suitcase, staring out the window at the passing scenery and deliberating whether or not to mention it to Jeno at all, trying to figure out a way to tell him about the fight and the email without giving away that the majority of it had been about him and Mark in the first place.

He wants to tell him and Renjun everything, desperately, but wonders if it'd only hurt Jeno more, to know how much Mark really did care about him. And to know how much Jaemin had interfered, Donghyuck thinks with lingering bitterness, and with surprisingly less vitriol than he'd ever thought of it before.

Jeno returns to Vancouver near the end of January, winter now in full swing, and Donghyuck and Renjun pick him up from the airport together with Jeno's own car, both swallowing him up in a long hug on the airport curb despite the freezing drizzle around them. They throw his suitcases in the trunk and Renjun climbs into the backseat as Jeno takes the driver’s seat, making a point of moving his seat back as Donghyuck gets in beside him.

"I literally didn't even move it up, asshole," Donghyuck says, affronted, while Jeno laughs, and then crosses his arms while he grumbles, "I'm only a few centimetres shorter than you."

"Missed you too," Jeno says, shifting into drive and pulling away from the airport curb. "How's Vancity been without me?"

"Cold," Renjun answers from the backseat.

"How was Boston?"

"Colder," Donghyuck answers with an exaggerated frown, and Jeno chuckles.

"What about Seattle? How'd the event go, Jun?"

Donghyuck is quiet while Renjun talks about the event, giving all the details he hadn't bothered to type out in his texts — the guests, the gossip, the compliments he'd gotten from attendees and the company execs alike.

"Then Chanyeol fucking Park stopped me to chat, just when I was about to say hello to Jaemin —"

"Jaemin was there?" Jeno interrupts, glancing at Donghyuck, even though Renjun was the one who was talking.

"Yeah, he and his manager Jaehyun were both on the guest list," Renjun explains. "I think he left early, though? I never did manage to actually say hi to him. You talked to him though, right, Hyuck?"

Donghyuck stays quiet, for long enough that Jeno takes his eyes off the road to look over at him for a second with a questioning glance.

"I, uh" Donghyuck says, unsure where to even begin, “Yeah, we talked."

"Well that's ominous," Renjun says, and Jeno asks, "What happened, Hyuck?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"Because you're acting all cagey," Jeno answers simply, and Donghyuck gapes at him. "He's the only one who bothers you like that."

"'Cagey'?" Donghyuck asks, annoyed that he's so easily read.

"Yes, cagey! Now tell us what happened."

Donghyuck pauses for another second, taking a breath, and Renjun takes the pause as an opportunity to say, "What, did you fuck?"

"No," Donghyuck says quickly, whipping his head back to look at Renjun. "What the fuck?"

"Well? What happened then? We're gonna keep guessing until you tell us."

"He just..." Donghyuck sighs. "He asked me out. And I turned him down, obviously, and we kind of... argued. Like, badly."

"Holy shit," Jeno says, and Donghyuck recounts the conversation as best he can while still leaving out, well, the majority of what they argued about.

"Holy shit," Jeno repeats, when he's done.

"I know."

"His 'A-list cock', Hyuck? Really?"

"Shut up, Renjun, I was pissed off, okay?"

Jeno laughs, but it's lined with a bit of disbelief, and also a bit of pity. "Poor Jaemin though, to be turned down that brutally... I'm sure you don't feel that bad, and I'm not surprised you turned him down, but. Ouch."

"I know," he says, softly, insides twinging when he thinks of the pain on Jaemin's face, and a little bit at hearing Jeno assume he wouldn't feel bad about it, too. He really had hated Jaemin so vocally and so shamelessly. "But you guys haven't even heard the rest of it yet."

Jeno and Renjun's faces only go more and more into shock as Donghyuck tells them about the email and then as he reads it out, skipping the section about Mark and starting halfway into it, at the start of Jaemin's story about his agent.

"Holy shit," Jeno says for the hundredth time, probably.

"I know," Donghyuck answers. "And don't you dare say I told you so, Jun. I know they were just rumors, but how the hell could I have known it was because of all this?"

"I wasn't gonna," Renjun says. "But, like. Yikes."

"I know," Donghyuck says again, sighing. "I never replied either. Do you guys think I should have?"

"No, I think you made the right decision," Jeno considers. "Like, he said himself you don't have to reply, right? Not if you don't really have anything to say back."

"And like, what would you even respond with?" Renjun adds.

Donghyuck thinks for a moment. "'Damnnnn, that sucks, lol'?"

“Stop,” Jeno laughs. “It was obviously really personal for him.”

"Jaemin Na, falling in love with our dear Donghyuckie," Renjun says, in a mockingly dreamy tone.

"Fuck off, he's not in love with me," Donghyuck scoffs. "And he said he'd never talk about his feelings again. Thank god."

"I don't know, I still feel bad," Jeno says. "He obviously wasn't expecting to be shut down like that.”

“Wait, Hyuck, remember when you were looking him up and found all those rumors? How he’d like, never dated publicly before? He must’ve been pretty serious about it if he invited you to be his date to a premiere.”

Donghyuck pauses, never having even considered that aspect of it. I don’t want to be your accessory to some premiere, he remembers saying, and it’s accompanied by a stark shock of guilt.

Just how deep were Jaemin’s feelings for him?

“You've gotta feel bad for the guy," Jeno says, voice full of pity.

"Mmm, I was thinking of feeling bad for him, but it looks like you're sorry enough for the both of us, so, no need for me to feel sorry too. Thanks for taking care of that," Donghyuck says, and Jeno hits his leg while Renjun laughs in the backseat.

"Stop, I'm being serious," Jeno complains, even though he's laughing a little too. "You seem chill about it now but you must have been freaking the fuck out when it happened."

"Yeah, dude, I didn’t know what to think," Donghyuck admits, letting his head fall back onto the headrest. "Kinda betrayed, honestly, I thought our hate was mutual. Never would've guessed Jaemin Na secretly had feelings for me."

"I mean, he didn't do a great job of showing it," Renjun points out.

"I know," Donghyuck agrees, and then sighs, resigned. "I swear I read that email like a thousand times.”

Jeno says, "I can't believe you didn't tell us about this right after it happened."

“I really did wanna talk to you guys about it sooner, but I wanted to wait til you got back."

Jeno nods in understanding, looking over to Donghyuck thoughtfully, eyes lingering on him as he asks, "How do you feel about him now?"

Donghyuck meets his gaze, held for a second before Jeno has to look back to the road, and then sighs as he lets his head fall back again, gently hitting the headrest.

"I don't know. Doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

༻❁༺

Donghyuck opens his laptop after his morning run to find an email from Johnny Suh sitting in his inbox.

He hadn’t heard from Johnny since he’d sent him his modeling portfolio in the fall, old photos he hadn’t looked at since college, along with some more recent shoots he’d done for various roles and related gigs. Johnny had replied with ample praise but little to offer — unfortunately all the shoots I’ve seen are pretty solidly booked til spring, but I’ll let you know if something opens up, he’d said, and Donghyuck had shrugged it off with minor disappointment, his own schedule filling up in the meantime with auditions for guest roles on locally shot TV serials.

It’s March now, and Donghyuck, having already planned to email Johnny again come spring to follow up, was happy to be beat to the punch. He opens the email eagerly and reads through some offers from Johnny — two separate shoots for the same line of cologne, both happening in L.A. in early April.

I know it’s really short notice (this shit’s really being thrown together last second), Donghyuck reads, and laughs to himself, but it’s a good gig. They said they trusted me to give them my best models, and I really think your whole look would be perfect for what they’re going for. I hope it fits your schedule, so let me know ASAP, okay?

Donghyuck’s smile gets even bigger when he gets to the last line before the farewell: And hey, Taeyong’s on for the first shoot, too, if that’s any extra incentive. :) Hope to hear from you soon!

He forwards it to Jeno and immediately picks up his phone to call him, and within an hour is planning his trip to L.A. for April, finding some cheap last minute flight deals and texting Doyoung about crashing at his place for a few days.

He lands in L.A. on a sunny, perfect California spring day, Michael Jackson blasting in his ears and sunglasses on his face, and Doyoung picks him up from the airport, welcoming him to L.A. when Donghyuck slides into his Audi.

Doyoung's always been Donghyuck's favorite of Jeno's extensive extended family, the two of them visiting him and his fancy L.A. condo. Not that he's rich, not compared to people like Jaemin Na, but his work as an attorney makes him enough to live pretty comfortably, and more importantly, alone, which is something, in a city like L.A. Jeno and Donghyuck like to take advantage of it when they can, when they get tired of the clouds and the drizzle and want to see the California sun.

"How was your flight?" Doyoung asks, pulling out into traffic.

"It was fine, I watched some cheesy romance movie on the plane and kind of loved it," Donghyuck answers, looking around at the spotless car interior. "Nice to feel warmth again — oh, one sec," his phone lights up with a call from Johnny and he swipes to answer. "Hey, Johnny! Just landed."

"Glad you made it," Johnny's cheerful voice comes through the receiver, and they exchange some small talk about the trip and where he's staying, Johnny easy to talk to as ever. "Hey, so the first shoot is tomorrow at eight, you got the email about it, right? Do you need a ride or anything?"

"Nah, I can just borrow a car from Doyoung," Donghyuck says, looking over to Doyoung to confirm, not that he doubts Doyoung will let him take his car for a day. "One of those fancy mansions in the hills, yeah?"

“Yeah," Johnny answers, haltingly. "I — Shit, did I forget to tell you that the shoot is at Jaemin’s house?”

“What?”

“Yeah, man. I didn’t tell you that it's at his house up in Westwood?”

No the fuck you did not, Donghyuck thinks, freezing. Jaemin’s house? Of all the fucking mansions in Los Angeles and its Greater Metropolitan Area, the photo shoot is at Jaemin Goddamn Na’s house? What the hell is Jaemin gonna think of Donghyuck showing up to his house? After the way they parted last time? The shit he said to him? He never even acknowledged the email; will Jaemin think he read it? Should he have responded after all? It’s too late to now, but —

“Donghyuck?”

“Sorry, wow," Donghyuck blinks back to the conversation, acting as cool as he can manage. "Wow, nice, I haven’t seen Jaemin in months.”

“Ah, unfortunately I don’t think he’ll be home? Mark mentioned he’s in London for filming. He rents his place out a lot for stuff like this, especially when he’s traveling.”

Unfortunately. Donghyuck exhales in relief. "Ah, that's — that's too bad. I'll have to catch him next time I'm in L.A."

They chat for another few minutes, and Donghyuck hangs up the phone with anxiety still swirling low in his stomach, deep and uncomfortable.

He can still feel the anxiety sitting heavily inside him when his alarm goes off early the next morning, but Donghyuck pushes it aside as best he can, focusing on his morning routine rather than all the questions that keep running through his mind about where he's headed.

He drives through the neighborhood slowly, finally arriving and turning to drive up the long driveway lined with trees, growing increasingly impressed til his mouth is hanging open as he pulls up to the house, just as the sun is peeking over the roof.

Whenever he'd pictured Jaemin's house in his mind, he'd always imagined something huge and gaudy, more glass than wall — one of those modern monstrosities that rich people build to look out at the world around them and how much better they are than it all. Maybe even a waterfall, or a koi pond or something, pretentious and garish. He never really pictured this.

The house is gorgeous. The cobblestone driveway opens up into a rounded courtyard that's closed in by a Victorian style house, vines running up light brick siding toward a light grey roof. Bay windows line a large rounded two-story protrusion, flowering shrubs surrounding it and lining the path to the main entryway. The surrounding grounds are wooded, but not crowded, throwing a spotty shade onto the subtly landscaped ground beneath, more vines crawling along fences disappearing into the surrounding gardens.

It's large, but it's inviting. It looks like it's lived-in, well-loved. It looks like a home.

There are already a few cars lined up outside, today's crew consisting of just a few key people for the wardrobe, lighting, and shooting, on top of a few other models. He's welcomed at the door by an older Korean woman who shows him inside. Donghyuck makes his way into a large sitting room and library to find the crew already half set up, and someone whisks him away to get him ready as soon as he announces his arrival.

Making his way through, Donghyuck finds that the interior of the house is much of the same — comfortable, and clearly wealthy, but not in a showy, expensive way. Less of splendor, and more a real elegance.

Weird to think I might've been visiting this house as his boyfriend, Donghyuck thinks, finding it difficult not to imagine Jaemin fitting in perfectly here in his spotless clothes, then imagining himself here with Jaemin too, lounging around this house and feeling like he belongs here, because Jaemin wanted him here. Except Jaemin would probably say something to piss me off within seconds, he remembers, snapping himself out of it. Even the fleeting thought of Jaemin being here fills him with a handful of mixed feelings he really does not want to work through at the moment.

It's a lucky reminder, and saves him from feeling something almost like regret.

"This place is nice," he mentions off-hand to the makeup artist brushing foundation over his face. "Jaemin Na's, right?"

"Yup. And of course his house is perfect, the guy is rich as hell," the guy responds, laughing a little. "This place is definitely pretty homey compared to a lot of these places in the hills, though."

Donghyuck hums noncommittally, remembering Jaemin mentioning how his parents built the house to their taste, wondering how much they had to do with the actual design and how much Jaemin himself had to do with keeping it the way it is, with how much he seems to care for his parents' legacy.

They put him in black slacks and an off white button-up shirt, leaving it only half buttoned up, before starting the shoot, having Donghyuck sit on the couch in the warmly decorated library and do his job of looking beautiful and expensive for the next hour. They stay inside shooting until the Taeyong shows up, looking even more beautiful and expensive, and Donghyuck kind of wants to bow before him instead of shake his hand. When Taeyong introduces himself, though, he's sweet, and a little shy, and Donghyuck likes him almost as immediately as he liked Mark. Johnny's pretty good at picking the sweetest clients, he thinks with some fondness.

The director has them move outside, moving through a comfortable patio area and down some large stone steps crowded by overgrown greenery on either side, toward some gardens beside a well-situated in-ground pool. They spend some more time shooting outside, both with each other and on their own, until Donghyuck is dismissed for Taeyong to do some more solo shots, and told to be ready to be back on call within an hour.

He retrieves his phone, checking the time — around 11:30 — and starts to take some photos of the patio, the house, and Taeyong too, sending them off to Jeno.

hyuck

[8 photos attached]

this place we're shooting is so fucking nice

did i mention whose house it is? :)

jeno

holy shit, nice!!

whose house??

hyuck

:)))

jaemin's :)))))

god hates me

jeno

oh my god

hyuck

but he's not here, thank God

apparently he rents his house out when he's away

because apparently he doesn't have enough of an income as it is

jeno

maybe he's just proud of his house?? lol

is the shoot going good though??

Donghyuck responds and pockets his phone as he wanders back inside the house, looking around gingerly. Back in the entryway he comes across the housekeeper again, accidentally bumping into her as she carries a pile of books out of what looks like an office.

"Oh, sorry," Donghyuck says, bowing a tiny bit.

"No problem at all," she says sweetly. "Everything okay?"

"Yes! Just looking around a little," Donghyuck answers awkwardly. "Uh, hope that's okay."

"Of course, of course, no problem," she says, and Donghyuck sighs in relief, scared for a second that he was about to get yelled at. "It's a beautiful house. I've worked and lived here since the boys were small."

"The boys... Jaemin and Jisung?"

"Yes, yes! Do you know Jisung? Most people just know Jaemin."

"I've, uh," Donghyuck flounders for a second, feeling awkward at revealing that he actually knows Jaemin. "I worked with Jaemin, last year, actually."

"Oh, really!" She seems excited that he knows Jaemin. "Vancouver or Florida?"

"I — Vancouver... How did you know?"

"Oh, those were his two big projects last year. He always lets me know where he's off to, always up and away, traveling all over the place. Not that I can blame him, of course, with how successful he is, but I wish he were home more, you know? Jisungie and I miss him when he's away. He's always such a sweet boy, and the best big brother."

Donghyuck blinks, shocked to hear Jaemin described as a sweet boy. And from someone who's known him his whole life, who lives with him, and knows him, through and through.

"Yeah, I've —" Donghyuck stutters, so caught off guard he almost forgets what they were talking about. "I've heard him mention Jisung a few times. He seems to take good care of him."

"Oh yes, he does," she coos. "Always babying him and treating him like he's still little. It's adorable, really."

Donghyuck really, truly doesn't know what to say to that, and he stands there looking blankly back at her. He knew Jaemin was protective of Jisung, from what he'd said in his email, but the thought of Jaemin babying anyone refuses to compute in Donghyuck's head.

The housekeeper doesn't seem to notice him malfunctioning, though, as she offers, "Do you want a little tour of some of the house?"

"I... Are you sure? Jaemin won't mind?"

"Of course not, please, this house is as much mine as it is his, come on," she jokes, inviting him to follow her down the hall. "His parents were the best, too. They hired me as a nanny for the boys way back when, since they worked so much, you know? Wanted someone to teach them Korean as they grew up, too. They always made me feel like part of the family, though."

The end of the hallway opens into a wide living room, filled with some comfortable looking couches and lined with some more bookshelves, though these are spotted with knickknacks and framed photos of the family. Donghyuck looks at them closer, adorable baby pictures and family photos of them in front of a Christmas tree, at a park, and stops at a tiny polaroid of Jaemin with his arms wrapped around a boy Donghyuck assumes must be Jisung, both of them smiling wide, like they were laughing. Jaemin’s smile is so big and toothy, Donghyuck thinks, and it lights up his face so brightly. He keeps gazing at the photo while the housekeeper keeps talking.

"Even when they obviously didn't need me to be a nanny anymore, they invited me to stay, saying my room was mine for as long as I wanted it. I lost my son when he was young, you know, so..."

Donghyuck looks away from the photos and back to the woman, now dabbing at her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry," she clears her throat, trying not to let her voice show that she's affected. "They're just a... a great family."

A loud yell, and then a crash comes from the next room over, and then, after a beat, the sound of loud laughter. The two of them rush into the next room over to find Jaemin, sitting on the floor of a large kitchen beside another boy, both holding their stomachs laughing, flour and a cream colored goop covering both them and the floor around them.

"Jaemin!" The housekeeper cries, holding her hand to her heart. "When did you get here?? I thought you'd be away until tomorrow! You boys almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, Ms Lee," Jaemin says, still laughing, brushing flour from his jeans. "I meant to tell you I was getting home early but I —"

He cuts off when he finally looks up to her and sees Donghyuck, standing there beside her, in his kitchen.

Donghyuck opens his mouth to say something, but. What the hell is he supposed to say? He suddenly feels an intense shame, not to mention awkwardness, at showing up at Jaemin's house. Why did he think it'd be okay? Jaemin wasn't supposed to be here. Why did he take this job in the first place? What was he supposed to fucking say? Hi, sorry for being a shithead to you, thought it'd be cool to show up at your house.

Jaemin wasn't supposed to be here.

Here, laughing and covered in flour.

"I —" Donghyuck stutters out, having an internal crisis as he watches Jaemin scramble up, trying futilely to brush more of the flour from his pants and fix his hair, only to brush more of a grey smudge through it.

The boy beside him stands up, too, and Donghyuck finally looks to him, standing about the same height as Jaemin, but with a younger face, longer hair falling over small eyes, a sheepish smile on his face, same as the photo.

"Donghyuck," Jaemin finally says, and Donghyuck looks back to him.

"I — Sorry," is all he can say, before he turns tail and runs away.

Well, not runs, because he has some dignity, which he‘s desperately trying to hold onto, but he walks as fast as his legs can take him, out of the kitchen, back through the living room, past the photos of Jaemin and his family because this is his home.

He makes it all the way back to the entryway when he hears steps running up behind him, and Jaemin's voice calling out, again:

"Donghyuck!”

He freezes, wondering if maybe he doesn't turn around, Jaemin will just sort of dissipate into the air, and he'll never have to deal with this conversation and awkwardness at all. Ever.

"Donghyuck," Jaemin says, for the third time, and he steels himself and turns around.

Jaemin looks just as flustered and shocked as Donghyuck feels. He looks... well, good. Of course. He always looks good. But his eyes are wide, and his mouth is slightly open, like he wants to speak more, but doesn't know what to say, and Donghyuck feels like he probably looks the same, and they stand there for a long moment, just looking at each other, silent.

"I'm here for a shoot —"

"Did you come for work —"

They both stop, having spoken at the same time, and it only makes it more awkward.

God, this is stupid, Donghyuck thinks, and steels himself to speak again, honestly.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Jaemin," he says, voice solid and sincere, “for showing up like this. I swear I didn't know until yesterday that the shoot would be at your house. I really didn't mean to intrude."

"It's alright," Jaemin says, quickly, and they start speaking at the same time again,

"You're always welcome here, you know —"

"I would never have come if —"

"Oh."

"No, I don't mean I would never, I —" Donghyuck stops, and sighs sharply, frustrated that it's all coming out wrong, that he doesn't know what to say at all. "I just mean, like, I didn't mean to come without an invitation. But I didn't even know until yesterday, and then they said you were away, so."

"Yeah, I came home a day early," Jaemin explains, and his mouth half turns up in a small smile. "I wanted to surprise Jisung."

"It looks like you guys were... having fun," Donghyuck finishes pathetically. This whole conversation was a disaster.

"Yeah! Yeah, we like to cook together, um, usually with less of a mess," Jaemin smiles, wider now, but softer than the one he’d had when he was laughing in the kitchen. Donghyuck is a bit speechless all the same. It’s like a completely different person is standing in front of him from the Jaemin he'd seen up until now. His smile falters as he continues, "Actually, I’d like to…. Can I ask, if I can introduce you?”

"To Jisung?" Donghyuck asks, shocked.

"Yeah, I'd love for you to meet him? Um, are you in the area for long?"

"Just a few more days," Donghyuck answers, still bewildered. "I have another shoot on Thursday and then I'm flying back on Friday."

“Oh. That’s too bad,” Jaemin says, and sounds genuinely disappointed, and Donghyuck doesn’t know what to think of it at all. “Are you staying at a hotel downtown?”

“I’m staying with a friend, Jeno’s cousin, actually? Kim Doyoung. He lives over in Koreatown.”

For some reason Donghyuck expects Jaemin to give some reaction, maybe some sort of judgment, but all he does is nod and give a small hum of acknowledgement, and then they’re silent again. Donghyuck thinks he catches Jaemin looking down at his shirt, and feels suddenly self conscious of it still splayed open halfway down his chest. When he finally looks back up to Jaemin's face, he opens his mouth to speak,

“Donghyuck, I –“

“Donghyuck!”

They both startle, looking quickly to the direction of the library, where one of the crew members is sticking her head out. She stares at Jaemin when she notices he's there, too, eyes a bit wide.

“Oh – uh, hi, sorry to interrupt. Donghyuck, they wanted you back on set in a few.”

“Sure, yeah, I’ll be right there,” Donghyuck says, relieved to have an excuse to put an end to what he can safely call the most awkward conversation of his life. “Um, I'll see you around, Jaemin."

He barely dares to meet Jaemin’s eyes as he rushes past him, immediately scrambling out of the hall and taking a deep breath. He follows the crew member back toward the shoot, heading directly back into the fray, looking to think about literally anything else other than what just happened.

He can barely focus for the rest of the shoot, enduring another hour of solo shots around the gardens that ends up feeling like an eternity. His skin glows golden in the daylight, the sun high in the sky, turning this way and that wherever the photographer asks, but his mind stays fixated wholly on the house and the person inside it.

He ends up chatting with Taeyong for a while after they’re done and changed back into their own clothes, the crew packing up around them. Taeyong is nice, and Donghyuck gets on with him well, bonding over Mark, and modelling, and places to see in L.A., but Donghyuck only half listens. The other half of him is antsy, a little terrified that he'll run into Jaemin again, or maybe a little hopeful that he will, and he hardly knows how to even start parsing out which he feels more.

He's almost convinced he actually does want to see Jaemin one more time, feeling slightly more prepared now. That is, until Jaemin himself actually enters the library, and Donghyuck immediately regrets everything, all over again. Everything, a complete mistake, every single decision that has led him to this moment, here, being in the same room as Jaemin Na.

Jaemin catches the attention of the whole room, as he usually tends to do, even though everyone pretends not to have — Donghyuck himself included, embarrassingly. He talks to the photographer first, shaking his hand and making small talk — not that Donghyuck is tracking his movements in the room at all. But, well, he's hard to not pay attention to.

Eventually he does make his way toward Donghyuck and Taeyong, and Taeyong turns to greet him familiarly, even pulling him into a quick hug.

"Jaemiiiiiiin," he drags out, smiling wide. "How have you been, man?"

Jaemin smiles back, and even though it's not even directed at him, Donghyuck still just can’t look away from it, how it looks on his face, how it scrunches up around his eyes.

"You guys know each other?" Donghyuck blinks between them.

"Oh, of course, through Johnny and Mark!” Taeyong laughs, and turns back to Jaemin. “We haven't hung out in a while, though, man, you're too busy being big and important. I thought you were in London?"

"Yeah, I just got back this morning," Jaemin answers, explaining again that he wanted to surprise Jisung for a little extra time together before he has to start his next project. "Mark will be back in town himself late tonight, too, actually. Which reminds me, I wanted to ask you both if you wanted to come over for dinner here, tomorrow? With Mark and Jisung, maybe Johnny, too? Doyoung is welcome to join too, if he wants to come."

"Oh," Donghyuck blinks, and mulls it over while Taeyong takes his phone out to look at his calendar.

"Ah, I think I'm busy tomorrow? Yeah, I've got plans with a friend. Sorry, man. I'll have to hit you up next time?

"And I'm the one who’s busy and important," Jaemin teases, and Taeyong laughs out loud. "Next time, definitely," Jaemin says to him, and then turns to Donghyuck with a questioning look.

"Sure, yeah," Donghyuck finds himself saying. "I'll check with Doyoung but, yeah! I should be able to make it."

"Great," Jaemin answers, smiles wide, teeth glinting brightly, and it is directed at Donghyuck this time, and it takes the breath from his lungs, just a little bit.

༻❁༺

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE," is what Donghyuck screams the second that Jeno answers his phone call on the drive back to Doyoung's apartment.

"What did you do? Are you okay?"

"NO, I'm not okay, I just ran into Jaemin fucking Na at his fucking house and it was the most awkward conversation of my life and he had flour in his hair and his brother was there and they were laughing and Jaemin was smiling so much I literally didn't even know he could smile like that and it's weird but really nice, also his brother apparently wants to meet me as if I’m some nice old friend of Jaemin’s and not the asshole that rejected him and told him off then showed up at his house out of nowhere like I had any right to come into his home and look at his fucking baby pictures.”

“Wow —”

“And then for some unknown reason I said yes when he asked me to dinner at his house tomorrow night —"

"He invited you to dinner?" Jeno interrupts.

"Not, like, as a date, there's gonna be other people there, and he said I could invite Doyoung too, which is cool but so weird, like??" Donghyuck finally stops to breathe, pulling into Doyoung's apartment building's parking lot. He continues, quieter, "Why would Jaemin still want literally anything to do with me anymore? Let alone introduce me to his family?"

"He obviously never hated you like you thought he did, Hyuck."

"But it's not like it's possible he'd still actually like me after the shit I said to him, right?"

"Do you want him to?"

"No, of course not, but I just... I don't know what to think, Jen." He lets his head fall onto the steering wheel and groans. "God, it was so fucking awkward."

"I mean, it doesn't sound like he was mad about it? Especially since he invited you back to his house, he probably isn't mad about you showing up in the first place. And you can always cancel if you don't wanna go?"

"No, I... I wanna go," Donghyuck says, and doesn't realize til he says it that he does, actually, want to go. "Even if just to, like, have one singular non-disastrous conversation with him."

"Then go! Maybe you'll have a better time than you're expecting."

"Meeting his brother though?" Donghyuck groans again. "What if he's a mini Jaemin?"

༻❁༺

Doyoung is surprisingly not particularly shocked to receive a dinner invitation to Jaemin Na's house, but is more taken aback by Donghyuck accepting a dinner invitation to Jaemin Na's house.

They're sitting in their favorite jjajangmyeon restaurant — the undisputed best in the city, thank you — and Doyoung squints across the table, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I thought you didn't like him though?"

"When did I say that?" Donghyuck says, knowing full well he'd said it many times, to many people. But not specifically to Doyoung.

"Jeno told me about everything when he was here a few months ago," Doyoung says, ticking up an eyebrow. "Are you that friendly with him now?"

Donghyuck shrugs. "I don't know. Feels rude to turn him down, though, right?"

Doyoung shrugs back. "Fair. Can't blame you for wanting to mingle in the upper circles."

"I'm not a damn gold digger," Donghyuck says, not liking the implications. As if being one of the selfish elite who lives in the Hills of L.A. is the be-all end-all, anyway. He shoves a bunch of noodles into his mouth. "I’ve had enough of rich people for a lifetime. But yeah, we're friendly now, I guess. Mark and his manager Johnny will be there too. You coming or not?"

"Sure, I'll come." He wipes his mouth as he chews slowly. "Sounds like fun. So his house is fancy, huh?"

༻❁༺

By the time Doyoung turns into Jaemin's driveway, Donghyuck is once again questioning every decision of his life that had led him to this moment in time and space. He'd been anxious about it all day, having actually dropped his phone entirely when he got an actual text from Jaemin, even though it only read: be here by 6 for dinner :).

Who could’ve thought that Jaemin would use fucking smiley faces in texts?

"Are you sure you wanna be here?"

He looks to Doyoung to find him looking back at him as he puts the car in park, looking him up and down, his clenched jaw and his fingers tapping anxiously at his thigh.

"Yes, I'm fine," Donghyuck answers, consciously making himself relax.

Doyoung squints at him, but doesn't say anything more about it. He does say a few damns at the house as they approach the door, though, eyebrows raised high, and Donghyuck responds with a nod.

“I know.”

Jaemin himself answers the door, much to their surprise. Even more jarring, though, is the bright red apron tied tight around his waist.

He immediately smiles warmly at Donghyuck, and greets them both, stepping aside to usher them in, "Hi! Hi, come in, please. Doyoung, right?"

Donghyuck watches in amazement as he shakes Doyoung’s hand, and they exchange some pleasantries. Pleasantries. The Jaemin who barely said two words to him the first day they met. What the hell.

He shows them where to leave their shoes, and leads them down the hall and through the living room, now lit with a warm golden light, the setting sun beaming in through the windows. The dining room is adjacent, and they can hear laughter coming from it before they even enter the room.

“Donghyuck!!!”

If Donghyuck had had any lingering bitterness toward Mark himself – which he then realized he didn’t, not really – it would’ve disappeared as soon as he walked in the room, his wide eyes lit up and mouth in a wide, toothy smile when his eyes land on Donghyuck again.

“Mark Leeeee!” Donghyuck smiles back, pulling him into a hug. “It’s been too long!! I haven't had anyone to laugh at in months.”

“Ah, hah, sorry,” Mark laughs, leaning back onto the back of the dining room chair he’d been leaning on as they came in. “Sorry to leave you hanging. It’s been too long though, dude, like, almost seven months? Since I saw you guys at the wrap party.”

Donghyuck doesn’t miss the way he says you guys and kind of wonders if Mark himself even noticed that he’d said it. It’s not a stretch to guess who’s really on Mark’s mind, whenever he sees Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck, good to see you!” Johnny greets from beside them, shaking his hand, then Doyoung’s, and Donghyuck introduces Doyoung to the both of them, before Jaemin finally speaks again.

“Jisung and I are actually cooking dinner together, so I really have to get back to the kitchen. It'll just be a few more minutes. You guys can have a seat wherever!”

He gestures at the dining table behind them, and Donghyuck turns to finally take it in fully, the round, dark wooden finish table, elegantly but simply set for the six of them. He starts to move toward it, only to hear his name called a second later.

"Donghyuck?"

“Yeah?” He turns back to Jaemin, who's still standing there, suddenly looking a little pained, or maybe nervous, if that was possible. “... Do you need help with anything?”

“Um, yeah,” he answers, pausing for a moment, “Do you actually... wanna come properly meet Jisung?”

“Oh.” Donghyuck can feel Doyoung’s eyes on him, on the both of them. He refuses to look away or meet his gaze. “Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course.”

Jaemin smiles, and Donghyuck follows him to the kitchen without a look back, not caring that Doyoung will probably kick his ass later for leaving him alone with strangers.

Jisung is standing at the stove as they enter, putting the lid back onto a large pot, surrounded on the large stove by smaller stone bowls. His back is toward them but Donghyuck can see that he's wearing an apron, too, and it looks like it's the same one as Jaemin's, and Donghyuck knows without having to ask that Jaemin had bought the pair for the both of them.

"Jisung!"

Jisung looks over his shoulder, eyes going wide when he sees Donghyuck, and whips around quickly.

"Donghyuck!"

"Jisung," Jaemin stands between them, gesturing between them, and they shake hands as Jaemin introduces, "Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Jisung."

"Hi Jisung," Donghyuck greets, smiling at him. "It's nice to meet you officially. Sorry I ran out like that yesterday."

"Oh!! It's okay! I was covered in pancake batter anyway so that probably wouldn't've been a great first impression."

He smiles shyly as he speaks, even though he seems eager, and Donghyuck thinks that he's adorable. No wonder Jaemin apparently dotes on him so much.

"Oh, I'm sure it could've been worse," Donghyuck jokes, and Jisung smiles again, relaxing.

“I've, like! Really wanted to meet you, though! I've heard a lot about you.”

Donghyuck pauses, knowing that anything Jisung knows about him must be the work of Jaemin. He wonders what sort of things he’d told his brother about him. There’s this guy from Vancouver who looked great in a cravat. There’s this guy from Vancouver who told me I'm a selfish asshole.

He doesn't betray any of his anxiety, though, and instead just looks to Jaemin pointedly, "Oh really? What sort of things have you heard about me, Jisung?"

"He sai— I heard you were a good actor."

"Okay, I'll allow that," Donghyuck smiles, pleased. "Anything else?"

"Oh! And that you're a good dancer."

"Hmm, your sources sound like they know what they're talking about."

Jisung laughs, and Jaemin looks mildly horrified, and Donghyuck decides he quite likes Jisung.

At a brief pause, they can hear a quiet bubbling noise coming from the stove, and Jisung turns around.

"Oh, hyung, I think the soup is ready?"

Donghyuck backs away as they shuffle around, switching the stove off and placing boiling stone bowls onto a large platter, and he approaches when he sees Jisung putting heaping plates of banchan from the fridge onto another platter.

"Here, I can help with that," he grabs the plate from Jisung, holding it so he can finish loading it up easier, and Jisung smiles in thanks. Jaemin is on the other end of the obscenely large kitchen, trying to crack eggs perfectly into each simmering bowl one by one.

"I'm surprised Jaemin told you so much about me," Donghyuck says softly, so they can't be overheard. "And all so nice, too. That's sweet of him."

He keeps his tone lighthearted, but knows he's just barely hiding how desperately he wants to ask more about it. It was one thing to know Jaemin had had feelings for Donghyuck, but that he was serious enough to have told his brother about him? Does Jisung know that Jaemin told him all about their legal stuff with his old agent? Does he know the things Donghyuck said to him? Was it Jisung that had to tend to his brother's broken heart when Donghyuck rejected him?

"Really?" Jisung asks, sounding genuinely surprised. "I mean, he — yeah, he's told me a — a lot," he blinks, a little awkward, and Donghyuck takes it as confirmation that he's been at least somewhat open with Jisung about their history. "But I don't think he's ever told me anything bad about you, really."

He closes the fridge and takes the tray back from Donghyuck, leaving him standing there, astonished. Nothing bad at all?

"Ah! They're perfect." Jaemin cries, and Donghyuck turns around to see him looking down at his handiwork with a proud smile, and he claps his hands a few times in excitement.

Donghyuck finds himself smiling, too, at Jaemin's enthusiasm, so novel and contagious, the way it lights up his face, and then Jaemin looks up at him as he walks over on the other side of the island.

There's always some sort of intensity, between them, always some push or pull, some anger or arrogance that drives them together or apart, like they're the same end of a magnet. But Jaemin is smiling, now, at Donghyuck. And Donghyuck is smiling back. And he has no idea what kind of intensity this is, only that it's hard to look away.

"Donghyuck, can you get the door for us?"

He breaks away, and moves to help Jisung.

They leave their aprons in the kitchen and finally bring everything out to the dining room, Jaemin honestly very impressively balancing the tray of bowls all at once, soup still bubbling quietly and deliciously in each. Donghyuck decidedly does not think about how heavy it is and how easily Jaemin seems to carry it, specifically not looking at his arms beneath the short sleeved white t-shirt that fits him far too flatteringly.

Jaemin offers them all a drink, which the drivers respectfully decline, but Donghyuck accepts a bottle of peach flavored soju. He doesn't want to be too off-guard, but one bottle can’t hurt.

"Ah, ah! Oh maaaan, this is so good," Mark says, after barely taking a bite, and burning his tongue. "Gamjatang, right?"

Jaemin smiles with the praise, and nods. "It was my mom's favorite."

"Awww, Nana," Johnny coos. "Such a mama's boy."

Jaemin smiles wide, laughing a bit, and Donghyuck full-on gawks. Nana? Jaemin Na babying his brother was one thing, but letting people baby him, too? He doesn't even look annoyed by it, he looks pleased. What in the hell.

Donghyuck is seated directly opposite Jaemin, which is inconvenient both for not looking at him too much, and for trying to actually talk to him. But as Jaemin talks a bit about his mom, cooking this meal with her, Jisung jumping in with an anecdote that gets them all laughing, it's easy to watch Jaemin. He subtly watches his smiles, his laughter, looking away when Jaemin looks his way, and tries to understand what the hell was happening in front of him. Because the Jaemin he sees here is so... open. And comfortable. Almost sweet. Is it just because he feels more comfortable at home? Even with Donghyuck here? And Doyoung, who's essentially a total stranger?

At a lull in conversation Mark turns to Donghyuck, “So how’s Vancouver been, Hyuck? How’s… how’s everyone?”

Donghyuck smiles at his hesitation, and at Mark's inability to even try to be subtle.

He answers vaguely, and they talk around it, about everything and everyone, except the one person they both know he really wants to ask about. It’s bittersweet, in some way, knowing Mark still cares. It’s the same bittersweetness that came with finding out how deep Mark fell in the first place, that Jeno’s not alone in his feelings, even if nothing will come of it anymore.

They eventually catch up on Donghyuck's work, too, and he refuses to feel self conscious telling them that he'd landed a role on a locally shot TV serial. It's a little jarring, suddenly, to be reminded of the reality, telling Jaemin and Mark, fresh off the plane from whatever hundred million dollar film project they were working on in London, about his roles in TV serials. That they're in different worlds.

He watches Jaemin's reaction carefully as he talks about it, because Jaemin can be as nice and as comfortable as he wants at home, but if he still thinks Donghyuck is lesser for making a living doing what he loves, then he can stay in his damn mansion and far, far from Donghyuck.

But as he searches Jaemin’s face, he doesn't find even a hint of the ridiculous disdain he’d shown previously.

The bar is on the damn ground, Donghyuck thinks. But it's something, I guess.

The rest of the dinner goes similarly, and considerably smoothly, considering how much anxiety it had caused Donghyuck. But he loves seeing Mark again, and the way they play off each other and Johnny is more than enough to fill the time with laughter. He gets on well with Jisung, too, even though he seems a bit shy, and decidedly ignores Doyoung's eyes on him every time he and Jaemin exchange even a single word.

Doyoung seems to get on well with all of them too, telling them about his work, though there's an awkward moment when he mentions the law firm he works for — Johnny turning to Jaemin, "Hang on, haven't you worked with them before?" — but Jaemin averts the conversation, and they carry on without a hitch.

They're cleaning up afterward when Donghyuck finds Jisung alone in the kitchen, and Jisung takes the pile of empty plates from him.

"Thanks. And, uh, thanks for coming over," Jisung says, surprisingly softly, and a little nervous still.

"I — Yeah. Of course. Dinner was so damn good, too."

"That was mostly Jaemin," Jisung admits. "He's a really good cook. And you can visit whenever, you know, he'd probably love to cook for you again."

"... I —"

"I mean, he just likes to cook for friends and stuff, and I know you don't live in the area, but like, whenever you're down, you know?"

Donghyuck flounders for another second, because part of him wants to dismiss it as courtesy, but Jisung seems so genuine about it. And something tells him that Jisung would never make an offer like that without knowing Jaemin would be okay with it, too.

"Thanks, Jisung." He ruffles his hair, and they turn to leave the kitchen. "Next time I'm down you have to teach me your special pancake recipe."

"Hey," the smile fades from his face, and Donghyuck cackles. "Jaemin scared me, okay? He came up behind me and I dropped the bowl and it went everywhere!"

Donghyuck is still laughing when they re-enter the dining room, everyone now standing around, getting ready to leave.

"Hyung, tell Donghyuck that it was your fault we were both covered in batter yesterday."

Jaemin looks surprised to be pulled into the conversation, but quickly fires back, "Maybe you should've been holding onto it better, Jisungie, and put the flour away when you were done with it. I taught you better than that."

"Maybe you should've announced yourself instead of scaring me," Jisung pouts, crossing his arms.

"But I love surprising my Jisungieeee," Jaemin teases in a baby voice, trying to pinch at Jisung's cheeks, and Jisung knocks his arms away.

Donghyuck watches the brothers tussle until Jaemin gets one good pinch in and lets him go, turning back to Donghyuck and straightening his shirt like nothing happened, Jisung grimacing beside him.

"Sorry, Jisung gets a little out of hand sometimes," Jaemin apologizes, and then breaks into a smile when Jisung whacks his arm, hard.

Donghyuck can't help but smile at the two of them. "You know, I always wanted a little brother, growing up."

"Want mine?"

"Sure, why not."

"He doesn't like physical affection but he's great at dancing. And interior design."

"I like affection, just not you pinching my fucking cheeks like I'm five," Jisung mutters beside them.

"He's got a bit of a mouth, will that be a deal breaker?"

"Oh, shit, maybe," Donghyuck laughs with Jaemin at Jisung's increasingly grumpy frown, until they're interrupted by Doyoung sidling up beside Donghyuck, looking between the three of them with a curious eye.

"Ready to head out?"

Donghyuck nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket for the first time in a while to check the time, only to find 7 missed calls and a ton of texts from Renjun asking him to call as soon as possible.

"Oh, shit. Um, hang on, I really need to make a call, can you wait another minute?"

He doesn't even wait for Doyoung's approval before walking out to the living room, phone already dialing Renjun.

"Donghyuck, holy shit," Renjun answers in seconds.

"Renjun what the hell is going on, are you okay??"

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Renjun says quickly, but Donghyuck can hear a wavering in his voice that gives away that he's crying.

"Obviously you're not, Renjun, what's wrong?"

"I'm not hurt or anything, I just," he sniffles loudly. "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid if it has you this upset."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, you're right, it's just. I don't know, it's embarrassing or something, I guess."

Donghyuck sits in an armchair in the corner of the room. He tries to speak gently, unsure where the conversation is headed, "It's okay, Jun. What's happening?"

"I'm... I'm getting sued."

"Sued?" Donghyuck stands back up a second later, too restless to stay still. "By who?"

"Some fucking huge branding agency in New York," Renjun sniffles. "Apparently some brand design I did a few years ago was too similar to something they did, like, a year earlier."

"Who did you design for? Why aren't they the ones getting sued?"

"The rights are still in my name."

"Don't they have lawyers, though?"

"No, Hyuck," Renjun sighs, and Donghyuck breaks a little at how defeated he sounds. "It was this... this tiny company and I did it for dirt cheap just out of college. They don't even exist anymore. This big company only found me because of the Ralph Lauren deal and the publicity I got from that."

They're quiet for a moment, while Donghyuck processes. He hears another muffled sniff.

"I don't know what to do, Hyuck. I’ve been doing well but it’s not like I’m rolling in cash. How am I gonna afford an attorney?"

"Renjun, listen. We'll figure this out, okay? I'll go get Doyoung right now and explain everything and he'll know what to do, okay?"

"Okay."

"I’m — Sorry, I’m still at Jaemin’s. Are you okay? Can I call you back with Doyoung in a few minutes?"

"Yeah," Renjun says, sounding a little calmer now, "yeah, sorry, I'll be okay."

"Okay, I'll call you right back," Donghyuck pulls the phone from his ear, rushing back toward the dining room. But just as he reaches for the door it swings open and Jaemin enters through it, and Donghyuck almost runs right into him.

"Donghyuck," Jaemin catches him, grasping his arms, looking at him with concern, "Is everything okay, are you alright?"

"I — I'm fine, it's — it's Renjun."

"Is he okay?" Jaemin asks, with far more concern than Donghyuck would've expected from him. Donghyuck glances down at his arms where Jaemin is gripping him tightly. Jaemin lets go quickly, and Donghyuck doesn't have time to feel awkward about it.

"No," Donghyuck says, distressed. "Well, yeah, no, I mean, he's okay, he's not like dying or anything, it's just, like, legal shit, I guess.”

“Legal?”

“Yeah, some huge ass company in New York is suing him for some copyright thing and he's freaking the fuck out."

"Can't he just get a good attorney to settle it?"

"It's not that easy, Jaemin," Donghyuck says, annoyed. Jaemin should know that legal shit isn't that easy, even though he's fucking rich. "It's time and money, and- and stress. Doyoung is probably the only attorney we can afford, if he's willing to do us a favor." Donghyuck runs a hand through his hair, worried for Renjun, and embarrassed to be telling Jaemin all of this when it's really not any of his business. "Sorry, I have to get Doyoung and go. I told Renjun I'd call him right back.”

"Of course, sorry," Jaemin says, stepping aside.

"Um... Thanks for dinner, Jaemin."

He brushes past Jaemin, who lets him pass without another word.

They say a quick farewell to the rest of them before heading out, and Donghyuck explains everything to Doyoung in the car on the way home. They call Renjun and put him on speakerphone to talk through everything, and by the time they're unlocking the front door to Doyoung's apartment, all of them are considerably calmed down, Doyoung having gotten a grasp of the dispute and assured Renjun that he had a good case with which to defend himself.

"I'll do what I can, and I'll try to connect you with people either local to you or New York that can help you out, too," Doyoung assures him, and releases a tired sigh as he drops his keys onto the table by his front door. "I... I honestly have my hands full enough as it is, Renjun, but send me the files tonight and I'll look it all over as soon as I have some time, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Doyoung. Really."

They say their goodbyes and Donghyuck hangs up. He releases a long sigh, dropping onto Doyoung's couch.

"God. What a mess."

"It'll be a pain in the ass, but there's no reason this should really have to go to court," Doyoung says, sitting in the armchair beside him. "He should be able to get it settled, if we can get the right people to work on it."

They talk about it for a few more minutes, all the possibilities and details of what could be done to help Renjun.

Eventually Donghyuck leans back, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Really not how I was expecting to end the night."

"It was an interesting night," Doyoung says.

"You're tellin' me," Donghyuck sighs, not even knowing where to start thinking about everything to do with Jaemin fucking Na.

After a beat, Doyoung says, "So, you and Jaemin, huh?"

Donghyuck twists his head around quickly to look at Doyoung, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just... thought you guys disliked each other, but you seemed pretty... friendly," Doyoung shrugs.

"Yeah, well, we were at his house, as dinner guests. It's typically a pretty friendly situation."

"Mhmmmm," Doyoung hums, and Donghyuck turns back around, looking away from Doyoung's suspicious eyes.

"What about you and Johnny, then, hm? I saw you guys trading numbers."

"We'd just met. That's typically a pretty friendly thing to do, too."

Donghyuck huffs a laugh through his nose, and doesn't dare bring up anything else, to avoid any more questions about him and Jaemin. Not that Doyoung would actually pry, but the way he keeps looking at him and saying things all suggestively is quite enough for Donghyuck to not want to touch the topic with a ten foot pole anymore, thank you very much.

There's no guarantee he'll ever even see Jaemin again, anyway, now that they no longer have any real reason to cross paths again.

It's probably for the best, Donghyuck tells himself, and ignores the part of him that twinges in disappointment.

༻❁༺

The next few days go by quickly, between Donghyuck's second shoot and more calls with Renjun and Doyoung for damage control. He's flying out of LAX by midday Friday, gazing out the oval window as the hills disappear behind them, watching the gigantic houses grow smaller, and thinking that that's all Jaemin is, now, really. All he can be anymore. His big, perfect house; his big, perfect smile; his big, perfect ego. All a tiny dot on the horizon. He came, and he left his mark, and Donghyuck likes to believe he left his. And now they can move on.

He finally snaps himself out of it, sliding his visor shut, because he's not in a fucking drama, and sure as hell isn't some love-struck lead repining his star-crossed love. Whatever he thinks of Jaemin, it doesn't matter anymore.

Renjun picks him up from the airport, instantly pulling him into a tight hug, and all thoughts of Jaemin are left behind as they catch up on everything as they head home.

Life settles back into the norm, for the most part. Renjun oscillates between angry and hopeful and hopeless and tired, dealing with everything on top of his regular work, and Donghyuck stays by his side for it all.

"It's not like they're gonna take away your degree and all the work you’ve done before, Jun," Donghyuck says one day, a few weeks later, carrying his laptop from the kitchen into the living room, where Renjun is sprawled on the couch on his phone.

"I knowww," he drags out, and moves his feet up so Donghyuck can sit across the couch from him. "It's just, like? Ugh, god, I just want it to be over. I feel like if I can at least have a solid plan in place for settlement, I'll feel better about everyth-oh? Oh shit, I have an email from Doyoung, hang on."

He's quiet for a minute as he reads, and Donghyuck goes back to what he was reading on his laptop, some article about Victorian home interior design that he truly has no idea how he ended up reading. He's clicking on another article that catches his eye about West Coast housing trends when Renjun suddenly pops up beside him, eyes still glued to his phone.

"Holy shit."

"What," Donghyuck says precariously. "Is this a good shit or a bad shit?"

"A good shit, a very good shit," Renjun exclaims, finally looking up from his phone, and a smile spreads across his face. He shifts over so he's beside Donghyuck, holding the phone so they can look at it together. "Look, look, Doyoung said he got another lawyer to work with him who has even worked with this company's lawyers before — I guess they love their lawsuits, what assholes — but like, they're pretty much guaranteeing that they've settled a ton outside of court, and Doyoung said they're like, really good lawyers? And should definitely be able to take care of it."

"Wait, wait, I'm... I'm not trying to ruin the moment here, but," Donghyuck looks up from where he'd been skimming a bit of the email as Renjun talked. "What about the cost? How are we gonna pay for these guys if they're so good? Wasn't that, like, most of what we were worried about?"

Renjun smiles again, "That's the thing, though, they're not even charging me that much. And Doyoung is helping too, because he's the fucking best. Like, I almost feel bad, and I tried to refuse, but he obviously makes so much more than me, and he really insisted, so. He told me to save my money in case I have to fly out to L.A. or New York or anywhere to actually be present for any of this shit."

"Holy shit," Donghyuck says.

"That's what I said!"

A laugh escapes from Renjun's mouth in relief, and he flops back down on the couch.

"Thank god. It’ll still be a pain in the ass until it’s settled, but still."

Donghyuck is still holding Renjun's phone, and looks down at the email again in wonder when his eyes catch on a name.

"Renjun."

"Mm?"

"Why is Jaemin CC'd on this email?"

"Fuck." Renjun whips back up and snatches his phone from Donghyuck.

Donghyuck looks at him in disbelief. "What the fuck? What does Jaemin have to do with your lawsuit?"

"It's — he's — It's nothing, he was just — um," Renjun flounders, not meeting Donghyuck's eyes.

"Renjun," Donghyuck says, forcefully.

Renjun sighs heavily and finally looks at Donghyuck, guiltily.

"He was just... talking to me and Doyoung about it a little bit —”

"Why?"

"Just because he knew some lawyers, okay, but that's all I'm saying, okay, I promised I wouldn't tell you," Renjun rushes out, his hands put up defensively.

"You what?" Donghyuck asks, still trying to wrap his head around Jaemin getting involved in something that doesn't affect him in the least, and thrown even more for a loop by the fact that Jaemin had apparently wanted to keep it a secret.

"I promised. Please please don't ask me for any more about it, seriously," Renjun pleads. "He'll kill me."

"I'll kill you if you don't tell me every detail about why Jaemin is involved, like, right now," Donghyuck demands.

"I told you, it was just lawyer stuff, okay?" Renjun goes from guilty to heated in a moment, "And you're not getting anything else out of me."

"Renjun."

"No."

"Jun!"

"Let it go, Donghyuck, there’s nothing else to say."

Donghyuck crosses his arms and glares at him, frustrated. There's no way in hell he'd let this go without finding out the whole story.

༻❁༺

Donghyuck had tried to assume that Jaemin would be out of his life entirely after they’d parted ways in L.A.. Partly because he’d been distracted by real life shit with Renjun, and partly because it made it easier than trying to figure Jaemin out. Not that it was fucking working, but he tried. The man was a damn enigma, Donghyuck would tell himself, to try to avoid thinking about how badly he wanted to figure him out, or why, or what it made him feel.

It definitely wasn’t hate anymore. No, the hate had long since dissipated, leaving only some indiscernible mess of… gratitude? Respect? Interest? The attraction had always been there – because Jaemin was Jaemin and Donghyuck had fucking eyes, thanks – but beyond that, it was hard to put his finger on exactly who Jaemin was, under all of it, when so much of what he’d thought about him had turned out to be wrong.

Well, not entirely wrong. He was proud, and could be a bit of an asshole, and was absolutely shameless about it. Which was a bit infuriating, but Donghyuck had always known he was probably a little infuriating too, and maybe Jaemin reminded him of himself just a little bit too much.

But the Jaemin he’d seen at his house in April, the Jaemin who was so affectionate, so violently protective of his brother and his best friend, the glimpse of that Jaemin that his family and friends knew and loved – that was the Jaemin that really tripped him up.

And honestly, Donghyuck thinks, looking down at his phone where he has a text typed out to send to Doyoung, he’s probably only just starting to scratch the surface.

Donghyuck doesn’t send it yet, dithering all night about it, mostly trying to get over how horribly he'd be exposing himself by insisting that Doyoung tell him everything Jaemin has had to do with Renjun’s case. Especially when Doyoung so clearly suspects something was going on with him and Jaemin already.

But by the next morning, he finally sucks it up and presses send.

Then, he remembers that Doyoung never looks at his phone during work, and, already too impatient, sends him an email instead.

If you don't tell me, he finishes out the email, then I'll have to get really creative to figure things out. Might as well just spill.

Doyoung replies within the hour, and Donghyuck very nearly trips on a chair leg as he runs to his laptop when he hears the email ping. He can tell from the second he opens it and sees several paragraphs of text that it's not gonna be a no, fuck off.

What it starts with instead is, God, why did I trust Renjun to keep his mouth shut, and Donghyuck can practically hear Doyoung's sigh through the screen. I guess I'll just tell you everything.

A few days after you left L.A. last month, I got a call from Jaemin. He'd gotten my number from Johnny (who I've met up with a few times since, thanks for introducing us) and got in touch, saying he'd heard that Renjun was having some legal problems, and that he wanted to help him. I didn't even know that he knew Renjun, but he claimed they'd met a few times when he was in Vancouver.

He asked to meet up for lunch, which was shocking enough, but then as soon as we sat down he started listing off the names of some lawyers he knew, some real big wigs that had offices both here and in NYC. He'd even already contacted one of them, who had agreed to take on the case. I was honestly kind of offended at first, because it's not like I couldn't handle it, but he was so insistent and... well, just pretty nice about it, and he had really good connections. It's not like I could say no to him.

We did argue a little at one point, because then he started insisting on paying for everything, too. (The legal stuff, not the lunch. He did pay for that too, though.) These lawyers aren't cheap, and it's not like they were doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. Much as I wanted to do what I could, he insisted. Since then, I've relayed everything to those lawyers, and I'm still fairly involved in the case, but they'll be the ones handling the arbitration.

The only thing he asked from me was that I not tell anyone, but I convinced him to at least let me tell Renjun himself, because I couldn't in good conscience take all the credit, or lie about how the bills were being paid.

The only reason he gave for the secrecy was in case it was insulting in any way. If he had any other reasons, he didn’t say. Out loud, at least.

Don’t worry, he was totally subtle. I don't think he mentioned your name at all.

I know you’ve said plenty about what you hate about him, but honestly, the guy really mostly just seems stubborn as hell. I think I kinda like him, actually.

That's everything he's been involved with, that I know of. Now leave me alone, I have work to do.

- Doyoung

P.S You better at least visit me next time you stay in LA. Or, better yet, invite me over for dinner again? That gamjatang was incredible.

Donghyuck stares at the email, reading it over a second time, a third, baffled. Jaemin wanted to cover the cost of all of Renjun’s lawyers? Secretly? Why the hell was he interested in Renjun’s lawsuit, of all people?

He responds to the email quickly, thanking Doyoung for the information and decidedly ignoring the finishing remarks and the postscript, pushing aside the implication or any thought that Jaemin had done it for him. He hadn’t even wanted Donghyuck to find out. Does he just do this kind of shit like charity? It’s probably barely even pocket change for him, but still.

Donghyuck entertains the thought of actually contacting Jaemin directly about it, and immediately throws that thought away as quickly as it came. What the hell would he even say? Hey, thanks for being sort of weirdly invested in my best friend’s wellbeing. Mind telling me your exact motives?

He can’t seem to think up any motives other than the ones he won’t admit to wanting, so he turns away and goes back to making his breakfast.

༻❁༺

hyuck

doyoung told me everything :)

renjun

you’re the worst, he’s gonna kill me

don’t you care about me at all?

hyuck

don’t you care about ME? how could you not TELL ME

renjun

because I keep my PROMISES?? just because he’s your arch enemy/boyfriend or whatever doesn’t make it your business

it was very nice of him though

hyuck

fuck off

Something rubs him the wrong way, looking at Renjun’s text, even as he kind of hates the accuracy of it.

Even he has no idea what Jaemin is to him anymore.

༻❁༺

The warmth of spring returns to Vancouver, and along with the pick up in auditions, prep, and filming that fill up the warmer months, comes Mark Lee.

Jeno finds out when Jungwoo knocks on his open office door on a Wednesday afternoon, leaning in and seeing Donghyuck seated with his feet up on Jeno's desk, to tell them that Mark is reportedly moving to Vancouver. Donghyuck whips his head to look at Jeno, who is staring blankly up at Jungwoo.

"What?"

"Mark Lee. Bought a condo in Vancouver," Jungwoo repeats casually. "Apparently he's moving up here. Seulgi told me that Yeri heard from her friend Chenle in Mark's agency who confirmed it. Guess he wants to stay up here like full time when he's not doing work stuff in L.A. or wherever."

"Oh," Jeno says, at the same time Donghyuck says, "Fuck."

There's an awkward pause, and Jungwoo continues, "Well, figured you'd wanna know since you guys were friendly last year, right?"

"Oh," Jeno repeats, flustered, "um, yeah, I guess. Thanks, Jungwoo."

Jungwoo shrugs and turns away, but Jeno calls out again, "Wait! Um, did you hear... when? He'd be back in the area?"

"I think Seulgi said he’d be here by summer.”

“Ah.”

With a final thanks, Jungwoo turns to walk away, and Jeno finally looks to Donghyuck.

"Jen-"

"No."

"Jeno, listen-"

"I know what you're gonna say, and I'm not going down that road again."

"But he's coming back to Vancouver! Wasn't distance the whole reason he cut things off in the first place?" Donghyuck argues.

"I guess, but —"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Because I got over him, Hyuck, it's been like a year. Stop looking at me like that! I did."

"Jeno."

"Donghyuck."

Donghyuck just looks at him, incredulous.

"Hyuck, stop. You don't think I'm really gonna fall for him again, do you?"

"I don't think you ever stopped," Donghyuck says, and is afraid to add, I don't think Mark ever did, either. He'd still left out any of the details about Mark when he'd told Jeno about his visit to L.A., beyond mentioning that he'd been at the dinner at Jaemin’s. He knew as soon as he said it that Jeno wanted to ask more, in the exact same way Mark had indirectly asked after Jeno, too, and Donghyuck hated seeing them both act like this and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Jeno blinks away at that, looking down at his laptop.

"I'll be fine, Hyuck. And Vancouver's a big city, we probably won't even see him."

"Well I will. He’s my friend, too."

"Then see him all you want. If he wants to see me, he can get in touch himself."

"He will," Donghyuck says confidently.

"We'll see."

Donghyuck wants to argue more, but instead sits back in his chair. It's only a matter of time, now.

༻❁༺

mark

donghyuck!!!!!!! hey man!!!! did you hear i'm moving back up to vancouver??

hyuck

fuck yeah i did

coming all this way for me? you shouldn't have <3

mark

hahahahah

i seriously missed it so much i had to get back lol

my mom is definitely happy about it too haha

hyuck

ah yeah it'll be nice to be back near family

when are you up here for good?

mark

sometime in july!! all my stuff's getting sent up in a few weeks and i'll be up just after

lets hang out asap!! get the guys together again hahah

hyuck

for sure

welcome back markly :)

༻❁༺

Jeno gets increasingly antsy the closer it gets to Mark's return. Not that he'd ever show it, seemingly calm as ever, but Donghyuck can tell.

Donghyuck meets up with Mark alone first, just a quick lunch to catch up and reconnect, and they make plans for everyone to go over Mark's, just a week after he gets back in town (my place is kind of a disaster right now but, like, whatever). Donghyuck is happy to see Mark no longer hiding his desire to meet back up with Jeno; even with the addition of Donghyuck and Renjun, he takes it as a pretty clear sign compared to the reluctant avoidance of the last time.

"Relax, okay?" Donghyuck pats Jeno's hand on the gear shift in his car as they drive to pick up Renjun before heading to Mark's. "It's not like Mark's gonna propose. Well, not today, anyway."

"Fuck off," Jeno pushes Donghyuck's hand away, and Donghyuck laughs.

"Okay, okay, seriously though. Just relax and see where it goes, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. It'll be nice to be friends again."

"Mhmmm. Friends."

Jeno gives him a side eye but doesn't say anything. They've had this conversation quite enough in the past few weeks.

"At least Jaemin won't be there," Jeno adds. "That'd be awkward."

Donghyuck pauses. "Don't say that."

Jeno glances over at him, "Why not? Wasn't it super awkward last time you saw him? Also we're almost there, text Renjun to come out."

"I mean, yeah," Donghyuck says as he shoots Renjun a text as they pull into the parking lot of his work building, "like, it was a little awkward, but, then, I don't know... Dinner was fun, and his brother was cool. It — It wasn't totally awkward, I guess," Donghyuck finishes pathetically.

He'd told Jeno about the dinner, and even about Jaemin covering Renjun's legal costs, but kept it all on a strictly informational basis and didn't go near anything that could hint to the fact that he might be feeling a bit more forJaemin than he'd initially let on.

His stomach churns a bit at the thought of not being completely honest with Jeno lately, even when he knows Jeno would be the last person on earth to make fun of him for the complete 180 from proclaiming he'd hate Jaemin for all of eternity to… whatever it was he felt for him now.

He sighs. "He was just, like, such a different person. I don't know."

"Huh," Jeno is quiet for a second, pulling up to the curb, then shrugs as he settles back, "Well, cool. It'll probably be hard to avoid him now that Mark's up here."

Donghyuck hums in agreement as they see Renjun walk out of his building, wishing he could figure out whether the prospect was more exciting or terrifying.

"God, today was fucking garbage," Renjun complains as soon as he gets into the car, slamming the door shut behind him. "What the hell is the point of having a meeting for something that would literally take like one email?"

Jeno looks at him in the rear view mirror, "Rough day?"

"Imagine if people could actually fucking read their emails? So we wouldn't have to have pointless meetings about deadlines we're not hitting because we're stuck in meetings?" Renjun heaves a long, deep breath. "God. I need to unwind. Please let me think about something else for a while. What have you guys been up to?"

"Jeno's nervous because Mark's probably gonna propose or something tonight," Donghyuck says lightly, and Jeno slaps his leg.

"Oh?"

"Well Donghyuck just admitted he had a good time with Jaemin in L.A.," Jeno fires back. "Said he was —" Jeno does air quotes, "—'such a different person'."

"Obviously."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Donghyuck asks, twisting around in his seat to look at Renjun.

"Exactly what it sounds like," Renjun says matter-of-factly, and then barks a laugh at Donghyuck's expression. "What, like it's a secret you got him all wrong?"

"Whatever," Donghyuck turns back around with an annoyed tsk. "I'm allowed to change my opinion about someone."

"Especially when that someone is a gorgeous bajillionare with a gorgeous house in the hills of L.A. who loves to cook and declares his love for you in the rain on the streets of Seattle —"

"Fuck OFF," Donghyuck interrupts, turning back around to try to hit a laughing Renjun. "All he did was ask me out, there were no love declarations."

"But you wanted one," Renjun says, taunting.

"No I didn't," Donghyuck matches his tone.

"But you want one now."

"Shut the fuck up, Renjun."

"Not a denial," Renjun points out.

"I don't," Donghyuck says firmly, crossing his arms over his chest, knowing everyone in the car — including himself — knows he's lying.

༻❁༺

It's honestly — somehow — not as awkward as Donghyuck expects it to be.

It's nice to see Mark again, as always, greeting the three of them brightly as they file into his new condo right in the heart of the city, considerably less flashy and more comfortable than the one he'd rented before, even with boxes still scattered around. He seems as happy and eager to please as ever, giving them each handshake-turned-hugs as he welcomes them in.

"Yo, sorry for the mess, guys, moving's the woooorst," Mark apologizes as he leads them through to the living room.

"You sure you don't want some help unpacking and stuff?" Donghyuck asks, taking in the slight disaster around them as they all settle in on the gigantic sectional leather couch. He yanks Renjun down next to him on the opposite side from Mark, so Jeno has to sit beside Mark, and he shoots Donghyuck a look that says something like, what are you, twelve? as he sits. Donghyuck just smiles angelically.

"Yeah, dude, no worries," Mark answers, "I hired movers for the big stuff and Jaemin's coming over next week to help me settle in."

Next week? Already?

Renjun blessedly responds first, "Oh, Jaemin's coming to Vancouver?"

Donghyuck had forgotten for a second that Renjun and Jaemin did actually have more rapport than the last time they'd all hung out together, and wonders how much Mark knows about the whole affair. About all of their affairs with Jaemin.

"Yeah!" Mark answers cheerfully, but Donghyuck can feel all the eyes in the room on him as Mark speaks, "he's coming next Tuesday, I think? And just staying for a few days. But he's gonna help me unpack and shit."

“Poor guy,” Renjun laughs.

"Well, if you change your mind, we're around to help, too," Jeno says, and Mark smiles at him.

"Thanks, Jeno."

"Hey," Donghyuck finally speaks up, looking at Jeno. "Hey! Speak for yourself. I never volunteered to help anyone move."

"You literally just offered to help!"

"I was being nice."

Jeno just turns to Mark. "He'd love to help."

Mark and Jeno aren't clingy, per say, but it's pretty fucking obvious who the most important person in the room is to each of them, by the way they just sort of orbit each other, even when sitting down.

The food arrives just as Mark's powering up his Switch — the only thing set up in the whole room, pretty much — and by the end of the night they're surrounded by empty takeout containers, screaming at each other in a very intense match of Smash.

Donghyuck lets out a cry of defeat as Pit dies, flying off the platform and exploding for the last time, and he throws the controller down.

"FUCKING hell."

"Don't be a sore loser, Hyuck," Renjun says, and then screams similarly seconds later when his own Meta Knight gets kicked off the platform too.

"Don't be a sore loser, Renjun," Donghyuck says back mockingly, and Renjun tackles him on the couch, nearly crashing into an empty food container in the process.

"FUCK YEAH," Mark screams as the match ends, and Jeno flops back on the couch in defeat beside him, the two of them having ending up considerably closer throughout the night than they'd started, now nearly pressed against each other.

Mark turns to Jeno, a victorious smile on his face, "Sorry, Jeno."

"Whatever, I suck at Smash," Jeno looks back at him with a big frown, and Mark falters a bit.

"Don't look at me like thaaaat," Mark whines.

"Sucker," Donghyuck says, watching this unfold in front of him. "Don't fall for it, Mark. I learned to resist Jeno's puppy eyes years ago."

"You'll learn eventually, too," Renjun adds, and Jeno scoffs at him as Mark laughs, leaning back further into the couch, pressed against Jeno from shoulder to knee.

"Here, help me clean some of this shit up, Jun," Donghyuck says, starting to gather a bit of the mess around him.

"Oh, I can help," Mark tries to get up, only to be pushed by Donghyuck back down onto the couch beside Jeno.

“No, no, no, don’t worry about it. You paid, Renjun and I can handle cleanup,” and when Renjun gives him a why are you volunteering me? look, he hits his knee, “Come on.”

Renjun gathers up what's left of the mess and follows Donghyuck into the kitchen.

"How long do you think we should leave them alone before Mark will ask Jeno out officially?" Donghyuck whispers conspiratorially as soon as they're out of earshot.

"Wha- Is that why you made me come in here with you?"

"Obviously," Donghyuck answers, grabbing the chopsticks and spoons from Renjun's hands as he just stands there. "When else are they gonna have a chance?"

"Literally whenever? He lives here now, Hyuck, he can easily ask Jeno out when the two of us aren't here."

"Exactly, he lives here now, which is why there's no reason to wait anymore," Donghyuck says, like it's obvious. "Mark's probably been waiting to do this since he decided to move back. Trust me."

Renjun eyes him suspiciously but doesn't argue any further, bringing the rest of the dishes to the sink.

"Think they're done yet?" Donghyuck asks, leaning back on the counter when they've finished.

Renjun shrugs. "Wanna go eavesdrop and see?"

"Fuck yeah."

It's surprisingly easy to stay silent, tip toeing in their socks across the rich wood flooring to crouch around the corner from the living room. They can just hear Mark's voice, quiet, the game music on the TV turned down to a dull hum.

"Man, I was so stupid. I'm sorry, Jeno. Seriously."

"It's okay," Jeno answers quickly.

"Are you sure? I broke up with you over a dumb text," Mark sighs, groaning lightly in embarrassment.

"It's okay," Jeno repeats, insistent. "We weren't really dating then, anyway."

"I mean, we kinda were."

"Yeah, okay, kinda. But not for real."

"But now," Mark pauses, "like, now for real, yeah?"

They're quiet for a moment, and Donghyuck can't tell if they're kissing or just smiling at each other disgustingly, but he feels himself smiling with glee as he taps Renjun in excitement.

"Still," Mark continues, "I am sorry. I could've handled it, like... way better."

"Well. It's all good now, yeah?"

"You're too forgiving, Jen," Mark says, and it's full of fondness.

"Maybe I just have a soft spot for you," Jeno says with equal fondness, and Donghyuck finally feels like it's getting just a bit too personal to be eavesdropping on.

He backs away quietly, tugging Renjun to follow him back into the kitchen.

"Finally," he exclaims as soon as they're in the clear, still smiling wide. "God, I thought I'd have to watch Jeno pine after him forever. Did I tell you I caught him watching The Seventh Sense last week? At work? That movie isn't even good."

"Oh god. It's about time," Renjun laughs, both of them thrilled for Jeno, and relieved to have finally reached what had felt like both the inevitable and the impossible for so long.

They finally make their way back into the living room — very loudly, just in case Mark and Jeno were making out or something — and don't miss the way they stay pressed against each other's sides, both seemingly unable to wipe the smiles off their faces for the rest of the night.

"JENO LEEEEEEEE."

They're barely out of the building before Donghyuck and Renjun are both screaming, jumping on Jeno like he just scored the winning goal in a playoff game.

"Guys —"

"JENO LEEEEEEEE!"

"GET THAT BOYFRIEND!"

"Stop!!" Jeno says, but he's smiling so wide that they can't even see the whites of his eyes. "Shut up, you guys are so loud."

"But our Jeno finally got his dream man," Donghyuck coos, rubbing at Jeno's hair and getting shoved away in return.

"What did you even do while Hyuck and I were in the kitchen? Did you just make out?"

"He probably sucked him off right there in the living room."

"That was not enough time for a blow job."

"It could be if you try hard enough, Junnie, maybe you're just not good enough at —"

"Can you both shut up!" Jeno practically yells, eyebrows high on his forehead, deep flush on his cheeks, and Renjun and Donghyuck burst out laughing again, throwing their arms around him.

"Sorry, Jen," Donghyuck says, not sounding sorry at all. "We're just happy for you."

"Thanks," Jeno says, genuinely. "We didn't make out or — or anything, he just, like, asked me out on a real date and apologized for last year."

The smile on Jeno's face is embarrassed as he continues, "And he... He said leaving without explicitly asking me out was his biggest regret, like, he really thought I didn’t like him like that?"

"Awww," Donghyuck says. "Poor Markie. It's not all his fault, though."

"Yeah, Jaemin probably had something to do with it," Jeno says.

"Is... is that some bitterness I sense in your tone?”

"Fuck off," Jeno laughs, elbowing Donghyuck in the ribs. "I admit he may have been a little involved. But Mark is back, and it's fine now, and we're happy."

No doubt he was more than a little involved in that, too, Donghyuck thinks, but doesn't voice it.

"We're happy for you, too, Jeno," Renjun says, and they both hug him close.

"Your happiness is already too much, Jen, tone it down for us poor single people, will you?" Donghyuck teases on the ride home.

"It's your turn now, Hyuck," Renjun says from the backseat. "Pretty sure there's... someone out there for you.

"Nah, I could never be as happy as Jeno," Donghyuck says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'm gonna be single and just leech off you and Mark's happiness forever. Hope you guys don't mind a third wheel."

“More like their child.”

༻❁༺

It turns out Mark does want to take them up on their offer to help him unpack, extending the “invitation” (a cry for help, in Donghyuck’s opinion) to Donghyuck through Jeno.

jeno

yeah he was thinking sunday if youre free

he said jaem will be there too tho, just a warning

hyuck

already calling him jaem, huh? so close with your in-laws

jeno

shut up

hyuck

no :)

why can't jaemin do ittt he's way beefier than me

jeno

it’s not heavy lifting hyuck it’s just unpacking and stuff

and free food! jaemin's gonna cook again

can you stop pretending you don't wanna see him?

hyuck

nope

jeno

well i already told mark you'd be there so plan on it

do you want me to pick you up?

hyuck

wait don't you have a date with mark on saturday night?

jeno

yeah?

hyuck

then you'll already be at mark's on sunday

jeno

why are you assuming i'm staying the night

hyuck

why aren't you?

jeno

it's our first date??

hyuck

no it's not

jeno

-_-

do you want me to pick you up or not

hyuck

it's okay i'll drive myself

i won't make you leave mark's bed just to come pick me up smelling like morning sex

😷😷😷

jeno

god you're the worst

༻❁༺

As Donghyuck drives into the city on Sunday afternoon, he imagines how his conversation with Jaemin might go when he finally sees him, when they finally get a chance to talk, after such a long time. He tries to decide if it’s even worth the mortifying awkwardness of talking about things, when they’ve both already obviously changed so much, when they can just try to be friends and pretend like last year never even happened.

He could apologize to Jaemin — he wants to apologize. He wants to apologize for how he treated him last year, and the shit he said to him in Seattle. He wants to apologize for being such an asshole, with not enough remorse and a little too much confidence. He wants to think that maybe it’d be followed up with an apology from Jaemin, too, and then — then, well. Then it depends on what Jaemin wants.

What happens instead, is that Donghyuck barely even sees Jaemin the whole damn day.

Jeno lets him into Mark’s apartment, and he immediately starts looking around as if Jaemin was hiding behind a potted plant or something, before Jeno informs him that both Mark and Jaemin are out, doing some grocery shopping to stock up his kitchen and for whatever dinner Jaemin had planned.

By the time they get back, Donghyuck is sweaty from moving boxes into Mark’s office-slash-studio, now in the middle of lining one of the walls with fucking CDs.

“Mark, who the hell still has this many CDs in The Year of Our Lord 2020?” Donghyuck says as soon as Mark walks in, holding out a handful of plastic cases. Then Jaemin pops his head into the doorway behind him, and Donghyuck pauses, “Oh.”

“Hey, Donghyuck,” Jaemin nods to him, stepping into the room a bit more, and Donghyuck finds that he’s the most casually dressed he’s ever seen him, a plain white t-shirt falling loose over black track sweats. And he still looks like a damn model. Of course. He smiles at Donghyuck and his handful of CDs. “Sorry, Mark’ll never get rid of them.”

“They’re sentimental, okay?” Mark says defensively. “And I still listen to them!”

“All eight thousand of them, huh?” Donghyuck teases, then gestures at the various instruments set up on the opposite side of the room, “I didn’t even know you were this into music.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, always have been. This isn’t even all my stuff, actually, I left some instruments at my parent’s house when I moved out, too.”

“How many instruments do you play?”

“Just, like, guitar mostly, but some piano and bass, too? And like, I played the flute in high school. But literally haven’t touched it since, like, if I tried to play it’d be baaad.”

“He sings, too, apparently,” Jeno interjects, “but he hasn’t let me hear him yet.”

“I — ” Mark starts, shy, giving him an absolutely disgustingly soft smile, “I’ll sing for you if you want sometime.”

“Gross,” Jaemin says, but he has a big, soft smile on his face too. “Anyway, I need to get to cooking. You guys good with dakgalbi?”

“Fuck yeah,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin pauses to give him a smile before backing out of the room, and Donghyuck knows — since Mark and Jeno are still in their own world — that it’s just for him.

Then, however, Donghyuck finds himself stuck unloading fucking CDs for the next half hour.

And then it’s followed up by a mountain of DVDs to unload into built-in hidden shelving in the living room.

And between asking Mark why he’s living in 2005, and laughing at his band DVDs and some high school yearbooks he finds tucked away under some of them, he finds no reason or opportunity to sneak to the kitchen to talk to Jaemin. At one point he hears loud laughter coming from the kitchen, Jaemin’s high cackle echoing along with Mark’s, and tries not to physically grimace with jealousy at Mark, of all people, who is actively dating Jeno, for spending time with Jaemin.

He sighs, and then rolls his eyes at himself for being fucking ridiculous.

The one time he finally tries to slide into the kitchen on his way back from the bathroom, Useless Best Friend Jeno Fucking Lee hears him in the hall and calls for his help with something, and he has to swerve away again. Had he really not done Jeno enough of a solid by leaving him and Mark alone to finally get their shit together last week? And this is how he repays him?

By the time dinner is ready, and Donghyuck is seated directly across from Jaemin again, he is effectively Grumpy, and the entire day has been written off as solid L. Not that dinner isn’t a good time, of course — Mark and Jeno are still gross, but cute, and Jaemin is quiet, but sweet and engaging — the Jaemin that Donghyuck has finally come to understand as the Usual Jaemin, the real Jaemin.

He thinks, by the end of the night, that maybe it’ll be alright to settle into a new start, a new friendship, without having to bring up all their past.

But it’s when he’s saying goodbye, and walking out the door, that he finds he doesn’t really want to go. Not with so much left unsaid.

༻❁༺

Donghyuck ends up at Jeno’s apartment a few days later, knocking very loudly before entering, knowing Mark was already here. Reluctant as he had been to third wheel for real, even with an invitation, they’d discovered Mark had never seen the Star Trek reboot (despite his ridiculous DVD collection). So, obviously he had to be there.

Jeno and Mark curl up comfortably on Jeno’s couch while Donghyuck sits his sad, single ass in the armchair, all by his lonesome (while Jeno tells him to stop being dramatic), each of them nursing a bottle of soju and making each other take a drink every time Kirk and Spock are particularly gay.

Eventually the Chris Pine vs Hemsworth debate dies down — which Mark very unfairly wins by saying he’s friends with not only one but both of them — and by the end of the movie, Jeno is completely passed out, while Donghyuck and Mark are on their second bottles.

Donghyuck signals to ask Mark if he wants to move out to the tiny third floor balcony, and Mark manages to extract himself from Jeno, following him outside. It’s a cool night, just on the borderline of chilly, but it feels nice against Donghyuck’s alcohol-flushed cheeks. He slides his legs underneath the banister, dangling his feet over the edge, like he and Jeno have done countless times over the years.

Mark slides down beside him, and they lean into the iron spindles, legs and soju bottles hanging loose in the cool summer air.

“How’d you like the movie?”

“It was pretty good. Very… very J.J. Abrams,” Mark laughs, and Donghyuck kicks him lazily. “And definitely, like, way more gay than I was expecting.”

“The second one is even worse, dude,” Donghyuck says. “It’s like straight up romantic.”

“Jaemin would probably love it, then,” Mark chuckles quietly. “I’ll have to ask if he’s seen them.”

Jaemin, Jaemin. Donghyuck doesn’t speak for a long moment.

Finally, he asks, voice quiet, “Has Jaemin told you everything?"

"As far as I know, yeah," Mark answers, taking it in stride, seemingly unsurprised at Donghyuck’s shift in conversation.

"Surprised you both still wanna hang out with me, honestly."

"Why?" Mark asks, turning to look at him, sounding genuinely confused.

"I mean, I wasn't exactly the nicest person to him."

"Ah," Mark looks back ahead and shrugs. "Guess he wasn't always the nicest to you, either."

"True," Donghyuck concedes. "Does he know we're hanging out tonight?"

"No, actually," Mark smiles mischievously, just a tiny crook of the corner of his mouth. “Just told him I was coming over to Jeno’s.”

"Look at you," Donghyuck says, laughing, "going behind your best friend's back."

"Stop, it's not like that," Mark laughs, kicking Donghyuck back with their swinging legs. "I wasn’t even sure if you were coming at first. Should I be, like, threatening you or something instead?” He shifts his voice lower, trying and failing to make himself sound more intimidating, “Stay away from my best friend, you asshole."

Donghyuck snorts. "You can't tell me what to do."

"I can try."

"And if I say no?"

Mark pauses, catching up with the actual conversation they're having, and Donghyuck immediately realizes that he may have said too much.

"No to staying away from Jaemin?"

Donghyuck shrugs, trying to stay nonchalant, looking for how to answer, barely knowing himself how to answer.

"Yeah," is all he can say, finally, because it's the truth, and Mark looks at him curiously. "What?" Donghyuck asks when Mark just keeps looking at him, "Things change. We hung out in April, too, remember?"

"Okay, true," Mark smiles at the memory. "I don't know, man, you coulda just been coming to see me and Johnny or something!"

"At Jaemin's house?" Donghyuck laughs. "If I wanted to avoid him I could probably find a better place to hang out with you guys."

“Good point,” Mark nods, conceding, and when their smiles fade he continues more seriously, "He was really happy you came over that day — ah, shit,” He stops, running his hand over his face, “Sorry, I probably shouldn't be telling you this."

Donghyuck feels something in him stir a bit at the look behind the curtain — Mark had always been careful, casual as he acted, not to really expose any of Jaemin's own feelings. Tipsy Mark didn’t seem to be as careful.

"We were both glad you came, though, yeah? Jisung too."

“I’m — I’m glad I did, too,” Donghyuck admits, keeping his eyes fixed on the bottle of soju in his hands, turning it over and avoiding Mark’s gaze. He smirks when he finally looks back to Mark. “That food was so fucking good.”

Mark giggles. “Dude, wasn’t it though? Seriously. Jaem really —” he pauses to yawn, “—really loves to cook for people he cares about, you know?”

“You really just reveal all of Jaemin’s state secrets when you’re drunk, huh?” Donghyuck teases, ignoring the way his heart is trying its best to leap out of his chest. “You’re officially out of the running for best friend of the year. Which I think I deserve anyway, for getting you and Jeno back together.”

Mark half chuckles, clearly just a bit too drunk to think of a quip fast enough. “Thanks for that. But hey, wait! Fuck you, I’m a great best friend. Jaemin’s just… When it comes to you, you know. Well. You know your history. It’s complicated or whatever.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Donghyuck says quietly. “Complicated feels like an understatement.”

“I’ve never seen Jaemin be so....” Mark trails off, and doesn’t finish the sentence.

Donghyuck wants to ask, be so what? Stupid? Whipped? Heartbroken? What did I do to him? But he stays quiet.

“I’ve known him a long time,” Mark continues, thoughtfully. “He’s got a lot of heart, you know?”

“Yeah. I’m starting to realize that.”

This makes Mark turn to look at Donghyuck. “Yeah?”

Donghyuck nods, smiling, “He’s definitely growing on me.”

Mark smiles back.

“Though that feels like an understatement too,” Donghyuck admits, half under his breath, and it feels both safe and a little terrifying, to be honest, here in the dark. He keeps talking before Mark can process that statement, “You know, this is the first time I’ve really talked about any of this with anyone that wasn't Jeno or Renjun, either,” Donghyuck admits.

Mark hums in acknowledgment, and they’re quiet for another long moment.

“Man, I shouldn’t have drank so much,” Mark sighs, looking down at the half empty bottle. “Jaemin’s leaving tomorrow so I gotta get back in the morning.”

“Tomorrow?” Donghyuck asks, surprised. “So soon?”

“Yeah,” Mark says through another yawn, not even registering the turmoil he just sent Donghyuck into. “He stayed home tonight to pack, but his flight’s at like nine or something so he’ll be out pretty early. Ugh, I should probably go sleep.”

“Yeah, dude, go bring Jeno to bed, too,” Donghyuck says, tapping Mark’s thigh in farewell. “I’ll probably chill here for a while longer.”

“‘Kay.” Mark groans as he stands up, stretching with another loud yawn. “Night, Hyuck.”

“Night, Mark.”

Donghyuck listens to the door slide shut behind him, and he’s left with just his thoughts and the quiet night around him.

People he cares about echoes in his head.

He couldn’t let himself hope, though, that Jaemin was still hoping for anything from Donghyuck. That he still cared, still wanted Donghyuck, in the way that he had back in December.

Not after all this time.

༻❁༺

Donghyuck can’t sleep.

His mind keeps running a thousand miles an hour, keeping him awake and twisting and turning even when he finally dozes off into a half-asleep dream. He checks his phone when he sees daylight just starting to lighten the sky, the time reading 4:36 AM.

Jaemin was leaving. Donghyuck was the one who left last time, and he feels such a different sort of clenching in his chest this time, at the thought of Jaemin flying away without another word between them. There was an understanding, though, Donghyuck thinks, hopes — some unspoken knowledge that things aren’t the same between them as they were last year. There had to be.

But even Mark hadn’t known. He’d seemed so surprised that Donghyuck didn’t hate Jaemin, let alone actually liked him.

Jaemin must know, though. He wouldn’t be leaving Vancouver thinking Donghyuck still couldn’t stand him. Right?

Donghyuck gets out of bed.

The drive to Mark’s apartment is silent save the running of his car’s engine, even his mind finally settling into a surprisingly dull hum with the singular focus of getting to Jaemin, of telling him everything he’s meant to say for months.

He knocks on Mark’s door loudly, not caring if he was waking up the neighbors. His hand falls into the air mid-knock as Mark swings the door open.

“Donghyuck?”

“Mark.”

“What are you doing here?” Mark asks, confused.

“Is Jaemin here?” Donghyuck asks, far past the point of embarrassing himself.

“Oh,” Mark’s surprise immediately falters into disappointment. “He just left for the airport.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s shoulders fall.

“He’s gotta catch his flight,” Mark says apologetically, mercifully not asking Donghyuck why he’s at his door looking for Jaemin at 5 AM. He knows enough, Donghyuck thinks, to be able to figure it out. “Do you want me to call him and have him turn around, or?”

“No,” Donghyuck says quickly, putting his hands up. “No, it’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck sighs. “No worries.”

“Hyuck —”

“It’s alright, Mark,” Donghyuck says, already backing away. “Maybe I’ll just call him when he’s back in L.A. or something.”

Mark looks at him for a moment, like he wants to say more, but finally just says, “Okay. Do you wanna come in?”

“Nah, it’s early as fuck,” Donghyuck says, letting out a half hearted chuckle. He shoos Mark back into his apartment, “Go sleep off all that soju.”

“Alright,” Mark smiles.

“Thanks, Mark,” Donghyuck waves, starting to walk away.

“I think he said he wants to visit again in a few weeks,” Mark calls out, Donghuck turning back to look at him in the doorway. “He’s got a good reason to come back.”

Donghyuck smiles.

“Damn right he does.”

He lets his head fall onto his steering wheel when he gets back into his car, and heaves a deep sigh. It wasn’t really a conversation he wanted to have over the phone, really, but he didn’t want to wait, either. Patience was never Donghyuck's strong suit.

He drives home heavy with disappointment.

He fumbles with his keys as he approaches his apartment building, not looking up until his hand is reaching out to pull on the handle of the entryway’s glass door, and he sees a hand reaching toward the other side of the door, about to push it open. He looks up, and he freezes.

Jaemin stares back at him, shock mirrored on his face, both their hands frozen halfway to the door.

Donghyuck finally gathers himself enough to let his hand fall, and he backs away as Jaemin pushes the door open, and steps out into the early morning light.

“What are you doing here?”

“I live here?” Donghyuck answers, still caught completely off guard, and Jaemin just laughs at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I meant what are you doing outside,” Jaemin says, and doesn’t answer Donghyuck’s question.

“I went to see you,” Donghyuck admits, and Jaemin looks surprised. “But Mark said you already left.”

“I came here to see you, but," Jaemin says, eyelashes fluttering, "you went all the way to Mark’s to see me before I left?”

“Yeah. Why aren’t you at the airport?”

“I started to head there, but I had the cab turn around, because —” Jaemin cuts himself off, and Donghyuck sees his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “Because I wanted to see you before I left. Sorry, I should’ve called or texted first.”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck finds himself smiling. “We found each other.”

Jaemin smiles back at him, and Donghyuck can feel his heart pounding in his chest as the sun starts to hit the windows of the building overhead.

“Donghyuck, listen —”

“Jaemin, wait, I —” Donghyuck interrupts, and finds that now that Jaemin is in front of him, everything he’d wanted to say dies on his tongue. “Um. Thank you. I wanted to say thanks. For helping Renjun.”

Jaemin looks surprised, and then shakes his head. “I knew I shouldn’t have let Doyoung tell Renjun —”

“No, no, don’t blame Renjun, it was actually an accident, like, he was just showing me an email and I noticed you were cc’d and I would not shut up until I found out what happened. Even Renjun wouldn’t actually spill so I sort of forced Doyoung to tell me everything. He can’t say no to me like Renjun can,” Donghyuck smirks. “Seriously, though. Thank you. I’m sure Renjun said it already, but... I really wanted to say it on his behalf, too.”

“Don’t,” Jaemin interrupts, and when Donghyuck looks taken aback, continues quickly, “I mean, don’t thank me for him. I was happy to help him out, but you —" He sighs, voice going quiet, "You know I did it for you, Hyuck."

Donghyuck's mouth falls open wordlessly.

"I —"

"Donghyuck, listen," Jaemin repeats, finally. "I'm kind of sick of avoiding talking around everything, and I know I said I wouldn't say anything about it anymore, but I also know that you wouldn't string me along, or lie to me, and I don't know what to think anymore, so. If you still don't want this, or me, just. That's fine. I'll never talk to you again, if you really want. But I still feel the same. As I did in Seattle. And if you haven't changed your mind, then it's —"

Donghyuck cuts him off with his lips on Jaemin's.

Jaemin lets out an mmph of surprise, freezing for a second, and then he's relaxing into it, letting his mouth fall open and sliding back against Donghyuck's lips in the sweetest way. And for all the intensity between them, all the history, all the fire that burned up everything around and inside them, all that's left is the sweet, achingly sweet brush of Jaemin's lips against his, all the affection that it settles deep in his bones.

Donghyuck feels Jaemin's hand come to settle on his neck, and he twists his hands into Jaemin's shirt, his knuckles pressing into his waist, pulling him closer.

When they finally break apart, the sun has just finally risen enough to shine on them, illuminating all the lines of Jaemin's face, the curve of his smile, the tips of his eyelashes when he blinks down at Donghyuck.

"I changed my mind," Donghyuck says, and it makes Jaemin smile even wider, hand still lingering on Donghyuck's neck. Donghyuck pulls him down to kiss him again.

Donghyuck presses into the kiss this time, more insistent, and Jaemin hums, his hand running up his neck and into his hair. Donghyuck leans into it, opening his mouth for him, and they stand wrapped around each other, kissing in the morning sunlight, until Jaemin is smiling too much and they have to break apart to smile at each other in the morning sunlight instead.

Donghyuck finally backs up, just the tiniest bit, and Jaemin's hand falls from his neck only to run down his arm and capture his hand, instead.

"I had a whole thing I was gonna say when I saw you," Donghyuck says. "But that was way better."

Jaemin smiles his perfect smile, and Donghyuck thinks he's really the fucking luckiest.

"Also, don't you have a plane to catch?"

Jaemin gestures with his free hand toward the glass door to the apartment, where Donghyuck can see a suitcase standing alone just inside the entryway.

"I already rescheduled it to a later flight in the car on the way here."

Donghyuck looks back to Jaemin, smirking. "Little presumptuous."

"Hopeful," Jaemin corrects, and Donghyuck squeezes his hand.

"Wanna come up?"

"Yeah."

They head up to Donghyuck's apartment, and Donghyuck finally feels the exhaustion of his sleepless night catching up with him as he leans back onto the elevator wall, Jaemin’s hand still latched onto his between them.

"Did you get enough sleep last night?" Jaemin asks when Donghyuck releases a massive yawn.

"No," Donghyuck pouts. “I couldn’t turn my brain off last night.”

“Thinking of me?” Jaemin says, smirking, and Donghyuck rolls his eyes as the elevator dings.

He leads Jaemin into his apartment, trying to stay quiet so as to not wake up Renjun.

“He’ll bite my head off if I wake him up an hour early,” Donghyuck says, leading Jaemin to the couch and pulling him down beside him, releasing another fierce yawn as he does. “It’ll be awful enough dealing with him making fun of me for having you here, I don’t wanna deal with him tired, too.”

“You should get some sleep, too,” Jaemin says gently. “Do you wanna go to your room?”

“Inviting me into my own room already?”

“To sleep.”

“No,” Donghyuck pouts again. “We should” — another yawn — “talk or something.”

Jaemin laughs, still so gentle, and starts to pull Donghyuck toward him, “Go to sleep. Then I’ll make us some breakfast and we can talk, okay?”

“Fine,” Donghyuck sighs, letting himself be pulled to rest his head on Jaemin’s shoulder, Jaemin’s arm coming to rest around his shoulders, and he settles down into him with a deep, tired breath, breathing in the smell of Jaemin’s cologne, now a familiar scent.

“You’re too bony,” Donghyuck says, after a beat, rubbing his cheek on Jaemin’s shoulder.

He feels Jaemin chuckle. “Sorry.”

He tries to get comfortable for another second before finally just scooting down the couch entirely and resting his head on Jaemin’s thigh.

“Much better,” Donghyuck says, closing his eyes again.

He hums when he feels Jaemin run his fingers through his hair, and quickly falls asleep to the gentle rhythm of Jaemin’s touch.

༻❁༺

Donghyuck wakes to his head on a pillow instead of a leg, to the sounds of someone cooking in the kitchen, and the smell brewing coffee. He can just make out Jaemin humming, too, and smiles to himself as he listens, stretching out on the couch.

He’s met with a bright smile when he finds Jaemin in the kitchen.

“Oh! Good morning,” Jaemin greets, sweet curl to his voice.

“Morning,” Donghyuck answers, sleepily, but smiles at him, watching him put a spatula down to pull plates out of the cabinet. "Have you seen Renjun yet?”

“Yep, he left for work like twenty minutes ago? I actually gave him some eggs and coffee before he went,” Jaemin informs him, and Donghyuck checks the time on the microwave, seeing with horror that it’s already past 8:30 AM.

“Oh, fuck.”

He pulls out his phone, and sure enough, there are a handful of texts from Renjun.

renjun

[1 photo attached]

WOW, about fucking time

i really didn't even need coffee this morning

tell jaemin his coffee tastes like battery acid tho

but his eggs were perfect

happy for you hyuck ❤️️

Honestly, his reaction isn't as bad as Donghyuck expects. And the picture is actually... really cute. It's clearly taken from the hall, a little blurry from zooming in, but he can see one of Jaemin's hands resting in his hair, the other on Donghyuck's chest, and his head fallen back onto the back of the couch.

Donghyuck saves it immediately and only replies to Renjun with a heart text reaction on the picture.

They sit down at Donghyuck’s table with scrambled eggs and the coffee that Jaemin had made way too strong, which Jaemin insists is perfect, while Donghyuck agrees with Renjun in classifying it solidly as battery acid.

"Thanks for breakfast," Donghyuck says, just before digging in.

"You're welcome. I like to cook."

"I had noticed that, yeah," Donghyuck says, and the smile Jaemin gives him in return is so warm it almost hurts to look at. He looks down at his plate, and thinks about how he likes to cook for people he cares about was one of the reasons Jaemin was there with him now.

"Mark told me that you guys talked about me last night," Jaemin says, like he's reading Donghyuck's mind, again.

Donghyuck nods. "Did he tell you what I said?"

"Yeah," Jaemin confirms. "It's why I came here this morning."

"Remind me to send him a fruit basket or something as thanks."

Jaemin laughs. "He loves watermelon."

"Good to know," Donghyuck says, taking another bite of eggs.

"I didn't..." Jaemin starts, haltingly, then restarts, "I knew you didn't hate me anymore, but I really wasn't sure what you really felt. Barely even let myself hope that you'd changed your mind this much. But last night, I... I know you well enough to know that you would've had no problem being honest with Mark."

"Yeah," Donghyuck smiles wryly. "You know I didn't have any issue talking about how much I hated you back then."

Jaemin blinks, and it looks like it hurts a little, to remember.

"I'm sorry, Jaemin," Donghyuck says, the honesty uncomfortable, but Donghyuck knows it needs to be said. "I was an asshole. You didn't deserve that from me."

"I mean. I kinda did, a little bit," Jaemin says, and it makes Donghyuck laugh. “Not about the rumors and stuff, but I was definitely an asshole, too.”

“Yeah," Donghyuck swallows a mouthful of eggs. "You kinda were.”

“Hey," Jaemin complains. "I’m trying to apologize here, too."

“Yeah, and I’m encouraging you, by acknowledging it. On both ends."

Donghyuck laughs when Jaemin kicks him beneath the table.

"Maybe you're still a bit of an asshole," Jaemin mutters.

"Hey, you still fell for me," Donghyuck gloats. "Or — oh, hang on, did you fall for me because I was an asshole to you? You get tired of everyone treating you like The Second Coming?"

"Fuck off," Jaemin says, fully laughing now and kicking Donghyuck again. "They do not. And it wasn't that."

"Then what was it, hm?" Donghyuck practically starts to preen. "My stunning good looks? I know I looked great in a cravat.”

Jaemin thinks for a moment, studying Donghyuck.

"Your passion," he says, simply, and the sheer sincerity is like whiplash. Donghyuck takes an embarrassed sip of his coffee just for something to do, unused to such honesty, praise said so earnestly. "But your stunning good looks helped, too."

"Sweet talker," Donghyuck finally says, still embarrassed. "Did you realize that before or after I danced with you and said we were strangers and you have no friends?"

Jaemin laughs, a surprised, dopey cackle, and Donghyuck revels in it.

"Before?" He says, uncertain. "It's not like there was, like, a singular moment. I don't know when it started, or when exactly I realized I was gone for you."

Donghyuck's heart beats with so much affection for this man, who had been longing for him for so long.

"I can't believe that argument in Seattle didn't change how you felt," he says, shaking his head. "I was fucking awful."

"I can't believe it did change how you felt. 'You're arrogant, and selfish, and I knew from the day that I met you that I'd hate you’," Jaemin recites.

"Dear God, don't remind me," Donghyuck cries, scrubbing his face with his hands.

"It stayed with me, though! I was so pissed off at first but... It really was the shock I needed to realize I had actually been shitty to you, too, you know?"

"Your email the next morning was that, for me," Donghyuck says. "But God, please forget I said any of that, though, Jaemin. Please."

"Okay, promise," Jaemin says, with a laugh. "But I was pretty fucking awful, too. You were right, you know, when you said I was fully expecting you to say yes to me? I couldn't imagine that someone would turn me down." He shakes his head. "I definitely deserved being called arrogant, at least. Ugh, let's both forget it."

"Deal," Donghyuck nods.

Jaemin sits up straighter, "We can start over now."

"Fuck no," Donghyuck says, immediately. "We just made out on the curb outside my apartment, Jaem, we're not starting over."

"Okay, okay, we can go back to making out," Jaemin laughs, reaching out to where one of Donghyuck's hands is wrapped around his coffee mug's handle, closing his hand warm around Donghyuck's. "I'm glad you changed your mind, Donghyuck," he adds, again so earnestly, and Donghyuck aches with it.

"Me too," Donghyuck says, a teasing edge to his voice. "I have been known to be a little stubborn, so. Don't get used to it. But... thank you, Jaemin. Not just for Renjun, but for, like, everything. And for waiting for me to come around."

"I have been known to be a little stubborn, so," Jaemin echoes, smirking.

Donghyuck turns his hand around, fully fitting Jaemin's fingers between his own.

"Turns out we have a little more in common than I thought."

༻❁༺

Falling in love with Jaemin Na is far easier than hating him, it turns out.

It's a natural fall. Donghyuck finds that when all their tension is released, it gives way to a flood of blazing affection he didn't realize he could even have. Passion, Jaemin had called it. But he sees that passion in Jaemin, too, and finds that it shows most in the way he loves. They're similar, in that way. In so many ways.

Jisung seems the happiest at the news, immediately texting Donghyuck to ask him when he'd next be visiting again, and can he come up and see Vancouver, too?

Splitting up their time between L.A. and Vancouver is the hardest, because despite how much they love each other, neither are willing to give up their homes to permanently move in with the other. But with Mark in Vancouver, and still working in L.A. so much, Donghyuck starts to feel like the bunch of them spend more time flying between the cities than they even spend in either.

Jaemin's money helps with that, though. Much as Donghyuck tries to get him to just give it all away, all the time.

("You already have a house, and probably like a bajillion in savings, what do you need the rest of your money for, huh?"

"Why are you always so set on giving away all my money?"

"Why are you so set on keeping it? It's about redistributing the wealth, babe."

"Do I not redistribute enough to you?"

"I'm not your fucking charity.")

(He does convince him to set aside more, though, first for the youth theater program he'd volunteered at in Vancouver, then for one in his hometown in Boston, too, then for whatever and whoever he comes across that needs it.)

After a few months, Jaemin asks Donghyuck to be his plus one to another upcoming fancy premier, which Donghyuck happily accepts (I'd love for you to be my arm candy, Jaemin, I'm so glad you asked). And once some tabloids catch on to the constant joined sightings, they have their publicists to confirm it, and let them handle the rest.

It's strange, for Donghyuck, being thrown into the public eye so much more than he's used to. Strange, and a little scary. But Jaemin doesn't let go of his hand, whether on or off the red carpet. No matter the interview or photo or conversation, he and Donghyuck stay side by side, as everyone calls them adorable or goals or what a power couple, and Donghyuck usually replies with something along the lines of damn right, we are.

And when they've gotten home, after, and peeled off their designer suits and their makeup, it's just Donghyuck and Jaemin. Just the two of them, all their understanding and pride and passion, knowing just how far they'd both come to get to where they are.