Archive of Our Own ^beta

As a young man, Daniel always thought that the best he could do was to build something for himself.

He was taught many things throughout life. By his father, his mother and Mr. Miyagi. And they built a fine young man in search of his own soil that soon found his tools.

By the time Daniel and Amanda found each other, he was more than ready to settle down and build. 

They didn’t build a house.

They built an empire for their princess and their prince, a castle ruled by everything that they thought was right, and that ultimately made them into cold pictures of the people that they’d fallen in love with, that spoiled their kids and protected them from the real world that he’d once conquered.

At some point, the castle that contained his heart became a cage. 

He saw it crumble in slow motion with every quiet stare, every hurtful joke, and every cold word between him and Amanda. Divorcing had felt like defeat, taking a knife to a gunfight, and by the time he started searching for another place to build, Daniel realized he’d never let his wife truly know him.

It took one look, an act of vandalism, a few drinks and a tournament to remind him of other places and other dreams. 

Of the place he lived in with his mother when he was young, the house where he became a man, the things he won for himself that money could never give him, not then and not now.

There in the emptiness of his life, the cage became imminent. Every piece denied before demanded to be dusted off and showed again in the light.

During the first weeks after it all started, he remembered looking at Amanda standing under the sun, as she watched Anthony walk with his friends on the beach. 

He wished her hair would shine golden in the daylight, that they could have met long before they had gotten together, and that she wouldn’t get upset over the things that he loved.

She looked at him, feeling his eyes on her. They kept the eye contact for so long, he saw black spots until she finally looked away. 

They didn’t talk on the way home, they didn’t talk as they lay in bed giving their backs to each other. The next day, they had breakfast alone in the room, quietly enjoying one last meal together before the questions came and revelations were made.

Daniel wished he could say it had gone as smoothly as that morning.

But there was hurt in so many years that were suddenly thrown away. And yet, Daniel was sure he had done the right thing— was it truly worth it to be numb together and stay in the cage? It wasn’t fair to Amanda, it wasn’t fair to him.

That Summer had taken everything he’d once thought was the end of all endings, and for the first time in years, Daniel could feel all his broken bones and bits he’d never dared face or fix.

At the end, when the dust cleared and he could breathe again, he found a couple of bricks that he’d forgotten were still there. 

They had thought him to be strong, to care and to build. So he kept his head up, made it his priority to fix his relationship with his children first, and walked out, ready to build again.

Ocean blue eyes followed him around, it slowly became apparent to him that he couldn’t hide in a house and pretend things weren’t happening all the time. 

He decided then and there to open a dojo, free classes for kids who needed it like he once had. 

Money would never be a concern to him again, he knew that— so he built that Summer and let in the light, the man that had always awakened the part of him he enjoyed the most— and made him part of his life.

Johnny Lawrence had always been an unfinished part of him.

For decades he wondered about him, where he was and why he had just disappeared for the longest time, until Daniel recognized him on a random day when nothing special had happened until that moment.

They had looked at each other, the strange men they had become, opposite sides of the bridge as always, and his heart had jumped, suddenly very much alive, suddenly opening doors his wife were once the key to.

A look, an act of vandalism, a few drinks and a tournament later, Daniel got divorced and was given all the keys to those doors back. Then, a late November night, he gave them all to Johnny, and found himself ready to rule a new place that could be home.

He just needed to let the light in.

Call It What You Want

Day 0

January 4th, 2019

Sometimes, Daniel missed the ring.

“You’re doing it again, LaRusso.” 

“Uh.”

It wasn’t a conscious thing. 

He used to play with it by twisting the band around his finger when he was distracted. Ever since the separation and then the divorce, he had to find another thing to play with. Usually, his tie or the buttons of his shirt.

Daniel tried not to think too much about it, but he had gotten used to the weight and the cold presence, it had become part of him since the day Amanda put it on his finger. Catching himself caressing the area where it used to lay made his stomach twist itself into knots.

And having Johnny catch him doing it— well. 

He smiled at him, trying his best to think of what to say this time.

“It’s really nothing.” He settled on insisting. “I got so used to it, sometimes I forget it’s not there.”

Which was the truth, so why did it make him feel weird to say it out loud?

Johnny’s eyebrows went up, then down without looking at him. He watched the man eat as they sat down at the small kitchen table, night slowly becoming darker outside, making him wish time would just stop. He didn’t want Johnny to get up and leave, Daniel wanted him to stay.

This house, he was liking it here.

He had bought it years ago in an attempt to convince his mother to move back near him, wanting to have a piece of home near his heart.

Lucille had refused, she hadn’t even considered it after Daniel confessed to have bought it without telling anyone. He had called it a dream house on the phone, because it fit the fantasy they used to have when he was young and she would work as many jobs as possible to give him everything he needed.

Amanda had been mad when she’d found out. It had been one of his first offenses. And Daniel never sold the house as promised.

It was about to become home now.

This luminous place that made him think clearly in his darkest hours, big enough to allow plans to burn in his head as he thought of his children staying over, and maybe if Johnny wanted—

He sighed, looking down at his empty plate.

Daniel didn’t miss Amanda, not anymore, not in a long time. He didn’t miss being married, his day by day was its own sort of marriage, even in the unspoken parts of his relationship with Johnny. An explanation shouldn’t have been this hard, and yet...

A moment later, Johnny looked at him but decided to leave it there, standing up and walking to the sink after taking their empty plates from the table. Daniel sighed, staring down at his hand as he thought of the last seven months of his life.

After the tournament, his attention had been on Miyagi-do and Miyagi-do only. It had become yet another summer where all he cared about was karate and the things that had made him into a man when he was Robby’s age.

His every day decisions were all about the dojo, the things he fought against, whose name was always on his lips when he taught the children that trusted him with their safety.

Daniel should have known better, that the things that followed him since he was a young boy weren’t things he could have ever left behind. They had stayed with him, engraved in his skin and the way he acted his part as this successful dream of a man that had everything.

Everything but what he wanted. And there was nothing he hated more than what he couldn’t have.

It brought back old ghosts between him and Amanda, and it was over faster than he ever thought such a long marriage could end.

His kids were hurt. Sam had slowly left the dojo with excuses of exams and plans for college applications. He didn’t doubt that Anthony was angry.

It only got worse when it became apparent who held most of his attention nowadays, why he and Amanda couldn’t just look past this new bump in their relationship. 

He looked up and watched as Johnny finished loading the dishwasher. 

Was it possible to feel guilt for not truly feeling guilty?

Daniel sighed, closing his fist while blinking away those memories and thoughts.

Seven months later, he found himself sharing a bed with someone he could laugh with, and yet— he still couldn’t shake the weight of the ring away. 

His daughter talked to him, liked to spend time in this house, had shared her plans for college with him and sat down to watch movies with Johnny on the same couch. But Anthony, he— like Amanda, he may never forgive him.

Another hand took his fist, Daniel closed his other hand around it and looked up with a smile.

Johnny had that nonchalant expression he always wore when he pretended not to care, but if Daniel had learned anything, it was that nobody cared as much as this man.

Daniel stood up, sighing as he felt Johnny’s finger caress his knuckle. He took his left hand away, letting it land on Johnny’s waist as the silence settled between them, comfortable as ever.

He liked the view each morning now. 

Ever since that first kiss one rainy November afternoon, Daniel didn’t mind that his castle had crumbled as if it had been made of sand. 

Which was why he didn’t really think it over when he said—

“When was the last time you were at your place?” 

Johnny frowned but didn’t let go of his hand. “You want me—”

“No!”

“—to go?”

They looked at each other for a few seconds. Daniel shook his head and tried again.

“No, what I meant was… I don’t think you should go back there again.” He sighed. “Stay.”

“Yeah? Why is that?” Johnny said, smiling at him with that shit-eating grin that had haunted him ever since that afternoon in the old Cobra Kai dojo.

He could feel his face getting warmer, Daniel bit his bottom lip as he shook his head.

“Move in with me, asshole.” 

“ Wow! Romantic as ever, LaRusso!” He answered.

But Johnny was smiling and his eyes were shining with that little spark he so often saw when Daniel did something particularly good that he liked.

He could do this one thing right, it may not take away the ghost of the ring around his finger, but the truth was—even though Anthony was being difficult, Daniel was happy . 

One day at a time , he told himself as he rolled his eyes at Johnny.

“You’re a dick, I don’t even know why I want you to live here.”

“Can’t live without me, can you?” Johnny’s hands went to his waist, pulling Daniel against his body as Daniel’s free hand went to the nape of his neck, fingers playing with the blond hair there. “You’d be bored if I wasn’t around, LaRusso.”

“I would be at peace…”

“Oh, that’s what it is?”

“That’s what it—“

Johnny’s lips were always warm. He kissed Daniel all the time to shut him up. It would have been annoying if it wasn’t so good. He found himself pestering the man more often knowing Johnny’s techniques never failed.

It felt different right now, he could feel the man smiling into the kiss. Daniel giggled like a child against those lips. 

He opened his eyes, Johnny was looking at him the same way he always did before going to sleep. As if he wanted to make sure he would remember this, that the Daniel in front of him was real, and the next day when he woke up, he’d still be there.

“Fine.” Johnny said, Daniel smiled wide. He must have looked like an idiot since Johnny looked down and away, which meant he was blushing. He had always liked his stupid face. “Only ‘cause I like it here.” Johnny looked up. “If you were still living in that creepy old man’s house, it would be a no.”

Daniel frowned. “Well, I don’t remember you complaining when we spent the night there!”

“Are you kidding me?” Johnny frowned. “That place’s weird! I could almost feel your sensei watching us there—“

“Oh my god!” He couldn’t help but laugh as Johnny kept talking.

“I bet he’d be judging our performance—“

“Stop!”

“He’d probably give you some odd job to perfe—“

Daniel put a hand on Johnny’s mouth, the man kept trying to talk but he pressed harder, laughing as he tried to take that cursed image away from his head. 

Mr. Miyagi would never, but Johnny’s imagination was a menace and all he could do was laugh at his ever so terrible ideas about what his mentor was like.

Deep down, he knew he didn’t mean any of it.

Johnny got closer to his face, Daniel took away his hand and let him kiss him again, this time harder and longer. He leaned their foreheads together, Daniel sighed with a wide smile.

“The kid is gonna freak out…”

Daniel sighed, not letting Johnny go by hugging his neck with his arms. 

The man looked at him, smirking again. “I’m looking forward to the new ways your son will find to let us know he’s weirded out by this.”

Daniel groaned, remembering how difficult all of this was for Anthony. 

His kid could make the most awkward comments at the worst moments. Improving the situation with him was his top priority for now, but god— sometimes it was just tiresome.

“How bad of a dad would I be if I asked Sam and Robby to tell him?”

Johnny pretended to consider it, then looked at him for a few seconds before smiling. 

It was a soft, private smile— The Daniel Smile , his head so helpfully labeled it months ago when he was busy convincing his stubborn self that this was happening, he had fallen for the guy he had once declared war to.

“You’re the best dad I know…” Johnny said, Daniel’s heart ached. “They can help.”

This time, Daniel kissed him, happy to call this house theirs.

Day 27

Johnny hadn’t seen Daniel for so long before the girls wrecked his car, he almost forgot the man was real and only human. That like him, he grew older every passing year and would one day become an old man like his sensei had been when they met.

It never went around his head he would be the one to see him become that man. 

That they would be part of each other’s lives in such a way, Johnny was the one who heard the soft groan of when his knee ached, the little gasp when a grey hair was found, the deep sigh of when Daniel became more tired at his children’s drama.

Watching him now, as he struggled to read the small letters in the papers he was given for the house, it suddenly occurred to him that they were going to become old men together—

“Stop looking at me like that,” Daniel said as he narrowed his eyes to try and read better, “I can hear you thinking some bullshit about my age.”

And he was fine with that.

Johnny snorted, looking down to the bills and mail he was checking before losing himself in thought. 

“So we are in a mood today, princess.” 

A few seconds passed before Daniel finally reacted, trying to kick him under the table. Johnny moved his legs in time, looking as the other man rolled his eyes and shook his head, going back to his work.

Johnny sighed, trying to concentrate on what he was doing again.

Robby had gotten a few magazines and whatnot from multiple colleges after Samantha convinced him to put down his name and address during an expo they had gone together to last year. His kid didn’t seem thrilled at the idea of college, but this was a small first step. 

“Is it okay if I put this house as my address? Mom usually just puts everything in the trash, so…” Robby had looked kinda awkward while talking and Johnny had to bite down his tongue to not smile like an idiot before Daniel chuckled and nodded.

Johnny hadn’t even moved here when it happened, but he spent most of his waking hours with Daniel after training, so Robby was around when his mother was busy herself. This place— it really felt like home sometimes.

He looked up at Daniel on the other side of the table. 

This relationship thing with him was so good, even his relationship with Robby was doing well for the first time in forever. Johnny put all his son’s mail on the side, happy to be reminded that he could count on seeing his kid almost daily.

Seconds later, he heard an annoyed sound as his partner stood, reluctantly walking away from the kitchen’s table. Johnny arched an eyebrow, wondering what could have been so bad in his little papers that—

“Don’t you dare say anything...” The man said, walking back to his seat and sighing once he sat down.

Daniel was wearing a pair of glasses that Johnny had never seen before. He watched him check the papers, reading perfectly now that he had them on.

Johnny couldn’t help but frown.

In the silence that followed, two things happened: 

First, Johnny wondered when Daniel had bought the black rimmed glasses he was wearing; and second, since when did he find it so attractive? Or was it just Daniel looking slightly annoyed and like a nerd that stopped all his brain cells from working?

He swallowed, very aware that he’d been staring for long, when Daniel slowly looked back.

“What?” He asked softly.

Johnny shook his head, but didn’t stop looking. “Nothing…”

Daniel left the papers on the table, putting both hands over them as his entire attention landed on Johnny and Johnny only. His stomach twisted, the sight of it was doing things to him and he wasn’t entirely sure of why.

“I just need them to read...” He said, pushing the glasses back up his nose when they moved down with his sudden movements. “What’s the matter? Do I look that bad?” He arched an eyebrow.

Johnny shook his head again, and this time smiled before talking. “You know, it’s not—” He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re cute. I can’t make fun of you right now.”

Daniel looked taken aback, a pink blush filling his cheeks and Johnny couldn’t help but smile again when he saw him visibly swallow.

This was what he enjoyed most about them living under the same roof, he got to see and learn all of Daniel’s expressions, recognizing their meanings and predicting when one would appear from time to time.

“Shut up…” He said instead of taking the bait, going back to his papers and Johnny made a face.

No, can’t have that.

He moved as if to check his own shit, but silently took off his shoes, slowly moving his right foot under the table until it made contact with Daniel’s leg.

The man looked at him for a moment, Johnny could feel his eyes as he pretended to attend mails and bills. When his partner looked away, Johnny waited a few seconds before teasing him again.

With his foot, he started to caress Daniel’s leg up and down.

He didn’t move, Johnny looked in time to catch him smiling at his papers. Daniel was probably reading the same couple of words over and over again, as Johnny caressed his leg, until he had enough and left everything on the table, looking up at him.

Point Lawrence.

“Seriously? Reading glasses?”

Johnny shrugged, the fake annoyance in Daniel’s face making him look like a nerd in bad porn. He wondered what kind of kick that comment would cost him.

“I really need to check these…”

“No one’s stopping you…” Johnny answered, the man in front of him frowned while moving his head to one side. “Though, your little papers are gonna be here tomorrow.”

“No.” 

Johnny frowned, sometimes Daniel’s stubbornness got the better of him. They had the house alone for the whole week before Robby stayed for the next six months. They should be taking advantage of their time alone.

He moved his foot again, touching slightly the inside of Daniel’s thigh. The man visibly jumped on his seat and looked at him, half annoyed and half interested.

“What?” Johnny murmured.

They stared at each other for what felt like minutes, then Daniel was leaving everything and standing, walking out the kitchen without looking at Johnny once.

“But you’re doing all the work!”

Johnny snorted, standing and practically jogging to catch up with his partner.

He caught him in the middle of the stairs, trapping him in his arms against his body. Johnny kissed him hard, laughing against his mouth when the frames hit his face, but Daniel didn’t let go of him, holding him strong with his arms around his body, kissing him messy and wet.

For a guy that had just said his condition was to do nothing, Daniel’s tongue down his throat was saying something else. 

It turned out not to be true at all as his enthusiasm got the better of him, giggling like an idiot as he nodded when Johnny made him kneel. Daniel looked up, his shining doe eyes looking bigger with the glasses on as he waited for Johnny to take himself out his jeans, and fuck—

Such a pretty view.

He bit his bottom lip, Daniel opened his mouth wide without taking his eyes away from him and Johnny swallowed as the man let out his tongue, waiting. 

Daniel knew what he did to him, what he’d always done to him, that was all Johnny could think of as he laid the head of his cock on that tongue.

The man moaned, staying still as Johnny tried his best not to shiver with the sensation.

Johnny put one hand in his hair, taking a deep breath as he fed Daniel his cock, the man’s mouth warm and welcoming, his eyes still on him.

He canted his hips, thrusting into Daniel’s mouth with a soft groan as the man moaned around him.

The way Daniel’s throat opened got him weak in the knees. The man had a way with his mouth that was maddening and impossibly hot. Johnny had to close his eyes, and stop himself from thrusting, feeling Daniel hollow his cheeks around him.

It was that face, those stupid glasses. 

If he wanted to last, he couldn’t look at him. Daniel knew exactly what he was doing to him, the kind of power he had over Johnny even though he was the one on his knees.

He let his fingers fall from his head, slowly trace the face that followed him for so long in dreams, and late-night commercials that felt like a punishment— all he couldn’t have, right up until the moment Johnny opened his eyes and found Daniel’s, the way they shone just for him as Johnny’s cock stretched his mouth and kept him quiet.

“You really like this, huh?” He asked, and Johnny could swear Daniel was smiling around his dick as he bobbed his head in time with Johnny’s thrusts. “You just can’t help yourself, you gotta get something in you— fuck !” His stomach tightened, he was so damn close already.

Johnny thrust in and stilled as Daniel breathed in and out slowly, calmly waiting for him to move again without complaint. He saw him blink, the glasses had slipped down his nose and Johnny pushed them back up with his thumb.

You’re so beautiful , Johnny couldn’t remember anymore how many times he’d thought so while looking at Daniel’s face, even back when they were kids.

It had been so confusing then, it was so normal now. 

He caressed his cheek, the stretch of it, for the last time before slowly leaving his mouth, a loud pop following as a threat of saliva connected his cock to Daniel’s wide open and used mouth.

It shouldn’t have been so goddamn sexy, nobody should be this gorgeous while looking halfway to well fucked.

“Come on,” he said, his voice sounding deeper by the second, “on the bed.”

Daniel chuckled, standing up as Johnny took off his jeans and underwear. He would have taken off his shirt too if his partner hadn’t wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him hard and demanding.

They fell onto the bed in-between laughs and the undone button and zipper of Daniel’s pants. Johnny took them off alongside his boxers in one move, smirking at the sight of his hard cock and the way his entire body was blushing . He could never get enough of this. 

Daniel lifted his arms, letting him work his shirt off after taking his hoodie away. The shirt got caught on the glasses, making Johnny laugh as the man struggled with it. Once he was free of the tangled mess, his hair was pointing in several directions, glasses crooked and cheeks red.

“This is…” Daniel complained, watching as Johnny moved to open the drawer from their right nightstand. “The most unsexy thing in the world…” He laughed, biting his bottom lip once he saw he had taken out the lube.

Johnny saw Daniel sink into the mattress. He followed and nestled himself between his open legs, taking off his shirt, sending it flying somewhere behind them. They kissed again, his hands immediately getting to work Daniel open.

The man moaned between kisses, Johnny swallowed every sound while thrusting two of his fingers into him. He sucked a mark on his neck, knowing later that Daniel would act pissed about it. As if he didn’t love being marked and showing off all the things that he had now, the way they ruled the kingdom inside this room.

Because all those people he had before, with their expensive cars and perfect lives, never really took him quite where Johnny did. And he’d be lying if he said the fact didn’t make him feel a certain way.

Pride had never been so arousing.

“Now,” Daniel said, Johnny shook his head while scissoring his fingers inside him. “Now!”

“Nope.” He answered, smirking as Daniel groaned and tried to move his hips. “Don’t be greedy, it’s only Monday and you better not be sore and limping while walking into work, yeah?”

“Fuck—”

Johnny made a tsk sound with his tongue, biting his bottom lip as he watched Daniel’s face contorting in pleasure. He added another finger. Daniel moaned loudly, throwing his head back, exposing his neck and all the little dark marks Johnny had left there.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe that’s what you want.” He taunted, Daniel’s eyes didn’t open but his mouth opened again, breathing heavily through it as Johnny fucked him faster with his fingers. “You want everyone to know you got fucked, you want them to know how good you’re getting it.”

“Fuck!”

“Is that—” Johnny moaned, his dick twitching at the sight underneath him. “Is that what you want?”

He felt Daniel’s nails on his back, Johnny bit his tongue to avoid letting out an even louder moan at the feeling. He could tell he’d be sporting long red scratches after and boy, was he already loving the burn of them.

Daniel nodded, his eyes finally opening. “Please— now, please—”

“You beg so pretty,” He licked his lips, “What do you want?”

“ John— ”

It made him chuckle, the way Daniel knew how to use his name to make him stop thinking, always taken aback with the way it sounded coming out his mouth. He took out his fingers, wiped them on the sheets as the man desperately moved his hips in search of friction.

“Johnny, come on…”

“What do you want?” He asked again, lubricating his cock with a hand. “Tell me what you want, Daniel.”

His head fell back, this was a game both could play. Johnny smiled as he saw Daniel breathe heavily, biting his bottom lip and whimpering once the tip of his dick pushed just slightly against his entrance.

Daniel looked at him. He was… a handsome man, cute . He’d always been. The glasses were a new look on him, they accentuated the fact that he could wear anything and look gorgeous. Johnny wasn’t sure why, but it was the truth.

“Fuck me.” He said lowly, Johnny leaned closer, pushing into him slowly.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you…”

“You’re such a dick…” Daniel whimpered again but Johnny pushed slower, making him moan with closed eyes. “Oh ffffff— please , just fuck me.”

“Louder, baby, I didn’t catch that.”

Daniel closed his eyes, calming himself down enough to look at him firmly while biting his bottom lip.

“Fuck me, John.” He said, meaning every word.

“Like this?” Johnny asked, going all the way in.

He could feel goosebumps filling his skin, the velvet of Daniel’s walls closing around him, he couldn’t help but moan as his eyes closed. Daniel caressed his belly with one hand, fingers barely touching his skin but so present, it burned in the most delicious way.

“Yeah…”

Johnny smiled, opening his eyes to see that face. He bottomed out, taking his sweet time to get in again.

“Or like this?” He went harder, Daniel’s mouth opened wide, face contorting in pleasure.

“Fuck! Yes!”

Smiling again, he repeated the movement, this time faster, each time harder, until he was fucking into Daniel with quick and heavy movements that had both of them moaning together. 

The sound of skin against skin was distracting, but Johnny kept his attention on the way the glasses moved with each thrust, the wide opening of Daniel’s mouth and the way his neck tensed with each thrust.

He caressed the length of Daniel’s legs with his hands, guiding them to lay on his shoulders as he angled his hips better until he reached Daniel’s prostate, hitting hard once and twice, making his partner moan so loud, Johnny was sure the entire neighborhood could hear him.

“Harder,” Daniel said, Johnny smiled as he hit that spot again. “Harder!”

“Fuck—“ He leaned down, Daniel wrapped his legs around him, digging his heels in his lower back. “Fuck, baby—“

It slipped from time to time, calling him… sweet names. It kept happening, the fond way even the mock pet names would come out of his mouth. Johnny had learned to not question it anymore. 

Johnny hid his face in Daniel’s neck, thrusting into him faster as he felt tension build up inside of him again. He leaned his forehead against Daniel’s, panting over his mouth as he took his cock in one hand.

Daniel moaned, hips moving erratically as Johnny jerked him off in rhythm with his own thrusts, searching for Daniel’s release before he could finish himself off.

He loved hearing him like this, coming undone, panting and moaning his name aloud with the promise of a greatest orgasm every single time. It almost felt like if they were young again and had all the time in the world, and in a way they did—

This was their place, their world. They could do this, they could touch each other without guilt and not care about who may pass and who may hear. He could have Daniel, he could share this place with him, call it a home. And it was all alright.

Daniel came, arching his back with a loud scream of his name. John , wrapped in pleasure. John , said grateful and pleased. John , like a prayer and a praise.

White stripes of come painted their bellies and chests as Daniel’s cock twitched in his hand. The over-sensitivity made tears gather in Daniel’s eyes. Johnny kept fucking into him, each time more difficult for the way Daniel’s insides clenched and clenched—

“Fuck yeees…” Johnny groaned, eyes closed and mouth wide open.

He thrusted in once and twice, and then released inside his partner with a loud moan of his name.

Johnny collapsed over him for a few seconds, breathing hard as he felt Daniel’s arms around him, one arm across his back, the other with his hand on his head. 

His long fingers got lost in Johnny’s hair, softly caressing in silence as their breathing evened out and their hearts tried to catch up.

“That was good.” Daniel said, always wanting to talk.

Johnny closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of his scent and recognizing every part of it: the detergent he used on their clothes and their bedsheets, the ridiculously expensive chocolate shampoo that he wore, the aftershave, pine and everything green that was simply Daniel LaRusso, that was home.

“I think everyone in the neighborhood heard us, though.”

This loud man that can never shut up.

Johnny smiled, lifting himself to look at his partner.

Daniel’s cheeks were still red, the marks in his neck and shoulders were starting to change color but still shone dark and red, Johnny’s. 

He had taken off his glasses, his uncovered face was relaxed and just— happy.

“Let them have fun with that.”

Daniel hit him slightly on his left shoulder and Johnny laughed with him.

Day 55

Sam had gotten Robby to check for college applications with her, even when the boy didn’t seem too eager to attend.

It had made Johnny sigh in relief once they were alone in their room after Robby had commented on it during dinner, and Daniel couldn’t help but smile. 

Every day, as time passed and things started to sink into a new normal, he could see more often how good these changes were for Johnny and Robby.

Slowly they had gotten closer and when they started to live together, the awkwardness had faded with each playful sparring afternoon until Johnny and Shannon agreed on letting the kid choose where he wanted to be.

Robby now lived between them. Six months with his mother, six months with them. For now, they had him, and ever since, Johnny had been softer .

His daughter was also closer now, sometimes crashing the living room with the girls after Aisha’s class was over with the excuse of not wanting to be where Anthony could pester them, or the Robinsons would be asking questions about him and Amanda.

They’d even stay for dinner sometimes, making Robby blush as Sam and Moon would propose to introduce him to so and so, searching for the perfect date for him.

“He’s into the hippie girl.” Johnny murmured to him one night as Daniel saw the girls get into Moon’s car, Robby following them to say goodnight. 

They stood in the front door, watching the teens as they retired. Daniel moved his head to one side, watching the boy closely.

“He’s gonna open the door for her…” Johnny said, the boy did and Daniel chuckled on his hand as he covered his mouth with it. “And now… lean closer with his arms on the window’s frame, showing those guns.”

Once again, the boy did, flashing Moon one of his charming smiles that were so similar to his father’s, Daniel could tell the girl was falling for it as her face brightened, talking back to him.

“Wasn’t she dating one of your students?” Daniel said, remembering what Sam once told him.

Johnny shook his head as Robby made Moon laugh, Sam visibly rolled her eyes in the passenger seat. 

“Not anymore!” He sang.

He couldn’t help but laugh, looking behind him as Johnny smiled at him with a softness in his eyes that was new and all Robby (and maybe him a little). It felt familiar and normal , to stand in the door as they saw their kids interact and become their own personas, leaning in just so to steal a kiss.

Daniel’s eyes were closed as he recognized every bit of Johnny’s lips against his, the velvet of his tongue, the taste of him and what it did to him. He could kiss him forever, dive into him and never go anywhere else.

A little gasp made them separate with a small jump. They looked away, knowing they had been caught up on each other, forgetting they were right at the door where anyone could see. 

“No, no, no, it’s fine, it’s fine!” Robby said, walking a few steps ahead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

His heart was beating fast, slowly looking up to find Johnny still looking down while Robby tried to apologize. Daniel grimaced, finally looking at the boy. His cheeks were pink, but there was a little tingle in his eyes as he laughed and apologized at the same time.

“Shit…” Robby said, putting his fist against his mouth and looking at them with a deep frown. “I’m very sorry.”

None said anything else for long seconds, maybe a minute, until Robby snorted.

Daniel looked up at the same time Johnny did, the boy had both hands on his mouth as he was trying hard not to laugh, but he couldn’t hide it for longer as they watched him. He laughed, loud and happy, and Daniel had never heard him like this.

He looked all his young years, a boy becoming a man, sweet and kind. And he looked like his father. With his wrinkled nose and closed eyes, the lines around them and the dimples on his cheeks the exact same pattern as Johnny’s, and if his jacket had been red and his hair golden, Daniel could swear he was seeing the boy that always awoke so much in him.

That boy sighed at his side, now a man like him, shaking his head with a little smile as he put a hand around Daniel’s waist.

“You little shit, get inside!” He said to his son, Robby kept laughing as he slowly walked towards them. “You have school tomorrow! To bed!”

“Yes, sir!” The boy said, passing Daniel while still giggling. 

He saw the boy sigh, walking into this house Daniel had chosen to live in, where he wanted his kids to one day be as comfortable as Robby was as he went up the stairs to his room. 

The house that was also Johnny’s, where they made the rules, that had quickly become home.

Johnny kissed under his jaw, a loud sound that made Daniel laugh as his body shivered. 

They walked into the house, closing the door behind them.

Daniel wished things could be like this all the time.

That the kids would be fine, laughing with them, not minding this as they lived their lives around them.

But he knew it wasn’t something easily conquered. That even if Sam was around more, Anthony was still angry and hurt, and she may not show it— but there was resentment still and one day, it may all blow up on his face.

Johnny had his own demons to deal with. Robby was okay with them but not always okay with his father. There were times when they fought, when the boy would say things he regretted immediately but had his pride to protect before saying he was sorry.

He had to deal with the jealousy Johnny’s dojo brought, his relationship with Miguel.

Still, Daniel couldn’t help but envy Johnny a little. 

His son could simply deal with them, was happy for them, and accepted to have dinner with Miguel and get to know the boy instead of keep on fighting. That was how he found himself alone with his children in the house on Friday night.

Daniel looked at them as they eat all he had cooked. So far, the awkward silence was filled with his conversation with Sam and the sound of them all eating.

But he could feel it, he could feel how unhappy Anthony was that he was made come here for the night. Sam had decided to stay the weekend, and Daniel had to wonder if it was because she truly wanted to or because she was just being nice.

“So,” his thoughts were interrupted by Anthony’s monotone voice, “where is your boyfriend ?”

Daniel blinked a couple of times, his chest feeling heavy as he tried not to show how uncomfortable the way his son had said that made him. Sam was looking at her brother, surprise and fear in her eyes.

For a second, he looked at their reflection in the sliding door’s glass that led to the backyard Daniel had big plans for.

He thought having dinner in the dining room with his kids would be a good idea, the kitchen’s table wasn’t big enough— he thought their reflections would show things in a better light.

It all looked misplaced, fading in the dark.

“He— he’s having dinner with Robby and Miguel.”

“Uhm.” The boy said, looking up at him. “He’s living here, right?”

Daniel swallowed, nodding.

“Why?” Anthony asked. “This was grandma’s house.”

“She didn’t want it, this is dad’s house now.” Sam reminded him, the boy looked at her with a betrayed expression. “It’s on your name.”

“So, it’s my house?”

“Guys—“

“No!”

“But it’s on my name, so—“

“GUYS!”

Both looked at him, Daniel bit his tongue and cleared his throat.

He took a deep breath, trying his best to not laugh nervously. “Well, we… we are together. We wanted to live together, so it just kind of happened.”

Anthony nodded, frowning a little before taking another bite of his food. Daniel’s shoulders felt lighter but then, the kid was talking again.

“And you pay for everything?”

The question was simply. Why did it feel like an attack? Daniel blinked a couple of times, shaking his head.

“No, we split— why, why do you want to know these things, Anthony?”

His son swallowed his food, looking at him directly before answering. “You changed us for a charity work, so—”

“A charity work? Anthony, don’t—“

“You said he was a loser and now you are sucking his dick.” He said, Daniel’s eyes opened wide like his mouth, but no words left.

Sam gasped, immediately looking at her brother. “Anthony!”

“What?” He asked her, Daniel’s back felt cold, it ached with an invisible heaviness. “It’s true! You said it yourself!”

“I didn’t!” She stood, her face was red and Daniel felt like crying.

“Right, because you just want to look good here so dad will pay for your fancy college and Robby will finally sleep with you!”

She gasped again, looking surprised and hurt .

The girl tried to defend herself, but as Anthony kept attacking, her eyes became clearer and clearer. He tried to stop the yelling, but no one was listening to him— 

He blinked, looking at both of his kids, the way they were yelling at each other without caring he was there. Were he and Amanda like this? Were they that bad an example?

Daniel hit the table with a hand, plates slightly jumping with the impact, the sound loud enough to silence both of his children. They looked at him, eyes wide open as his, and Daniel swallowed, signalling them both to sit with a finger.

His daughter did, eyes glued to her unfinished plate. She looked like she’d cry at any given moment. He blinked, seeing Anthony once again face him as if this was a discussion he was winning.

It reminded Daniel of himself. Of the way he had yelled at his mother when he was a teenager. Of the slap his grandmother once gave him for talking shit of his always working, always tired, always alone mother.

“Sit down.” He said, Anthony crossed his arms over his chest. Daniel frowned and talked louder. “Sit down, Anthony, I’m not going to repeat myself again. Sit!”

Finally, the boy sat down and looked conflicted.

Daniel swallowed, reminding himself Anthony wasn’t a bad kid. He was hurt, he was confused, and maybe he had let this happen for far too long. He should have put a stop to his insults and passive-aggressiveness sooner, and none of this would have happened.

“Apologize to your sister.”

“No, why would I—?”

“Apologize to your sister now. You’re angry at me, she has nothing to do with this. Apologize.”

Anthony rolled his eyes but looked at Sam anyway. “I’m sorry…” He said, then looked at Daniel. “Are we done? Can we leave now?”

“No, we are not done yet.” Daniel swallowed, looking at Sam who still had her eyes on her plate. “Sam, can you leave us alone?”

She looked up, frowning and looking worried. Her cheeks were still pink, expression hurt and just so damn worried, she was too young to look like this. Sam nodded, standing up and running upstairs, to the room he had let her choose for herself.

Daniel sighed deeply, preparing himself for the next conversation.

“Anthony—”

“I’m not apologizing.” He said, Daniel bit his bottom lip. “You are the one that left us.”

He licked his front teeth inside his mouth, thinking of the best way to approach all this. “What you just did… that wasn’t okay. I know you are angry at me and that’s fine. Hate me all you want, I’ll deal with it. But your sister didn’t deserve that, she didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, she’s only endorsing your bullshit!”

Daniel closed his eyes for a few seconds. Anthony was eleven, only a child. He was hurt.

His eyes opened. 

“Look… I know this is difficult, but I’m still your father.” Daniel said, leaning into the table as if he could get closer to Anthony sitting in front of him. “Anthony, I love you. I will always love you, and—”

“If you love us so much then why did you leave?” He asked frowning in a way that let Daniel look into his eyes and see that confusion clearer. “We were happy! Why did you have to ruin that?”

Daniel chuckled, shaking his head as he smiled. “Anthony, we weren’t happy. Your mom and I, even before all this— we weren’t okay . We would have divorced no matter what.”

The kid said nothing, only frowned deeper and looked away, processing what was said.

“I know what you want me to say,” Daniel sighed, “you want me to say that… I’ll go back home, I’ll re-marry your mother. Let’s say it happens. Then what? You want us to be unhappy together for the rest of our lives so you can have your parents together?” He swallowed, Anthony was at least listening. “We… your mother and I, we don’t love each other anymore.”

“You don’t, but she does! She cries sometimes, and it’s because of you!”

His mouth closed with a click. 

Anthony’s eyes were wide, crystal clear and wet. Daniel looked down, trying not to think of the woman he once loved and swore to love forever crying in that ridiculously big house they once called home. 

Loneliness was a constant in his life ever since he was young, Daniel knew exactly how it felt to sit and be by yourself. The hurt she must feel, he—

He knew of it. He knew all this process would hurt. He knew he was fortunate to be in this house and have this life, but it had come with a prize. His daughter had left the dojo, his son may never forgive him, Amanda was genuinely hurt.

There was nothing he could say that would make this better, nothing he could do to change things. But if he had stayed, things would have eventually torn them down.

“Your mom deserves to be happy.” Daniel said, voice breaking. He cleared his throat. “She deserves to be loved. I’m no longer the person for that. Lying to her and staying would have been crueler than leaving.”

Anthony said nothing. They stayed quiet for what felt like minutes.

Eventually, the kid stood up and walked away. For the sounds outside the dinner area, Daniel could tell he went into the bathroom, leaving him alone with the noise of his head, the images he couldn’t take away now.

Just a few days ago, he felt whole. He felt like he hadn’t ever since Mr. Miyagi passed away. And now, the guilt was consuming him like shadows consume the light as the afternoon turned into night.

By the time Amanda was outside waiting for Anthony, Daniel couldn’t move or say anything as he saw his son take his things and leave without saying goodbye. He did nothing as he saw Sam leaving as well, apologetically hugging him as she said she had forgotten she had so much homework.

Daniel said nothing, just sat on the couch and cried.

Day 56

Daniel was asleep on the couch, and Johnny knew immediately that something was wrong.

He sent Robby to sleep. The boy hesitated for a second, but obeyed with a tiny nod. 

Johnny turned to look at Daniel laying on the couch, the tired lines of his face and how tense his entire body looked even while asleep.

Ever since he told him the kids were coming, Johnny suspected it may not be the best of weekends. He could tell Sam hadn’t stayed as promised, there was a chance the night had been short for him and he hadn’t said anything to Johnny.

If he had texted, he would have come home earlier… Johnny sighed.

“LaRusso.” He called him, softly shaking the man to wake him up. “Come on, time to go to bed.”

Daniel stirred awake, slowly looking around before focusing his eyes on Johnny’s face as they adjusted to the darkness.

They looked at each other for several seconds. He didn’t need to be told anything, he could see it in that expression.

He put a hand on Daniel’s face, softly caressing his cheek as he stayed kneeling in the ground, looking at his sad face and the way he wasn’t looking him in the eyes. Daniel sighed, licking his lips before putting a hand over Johnny’s.

“Sam didn’t stay.” He said. Johnny nodded. “How was it?”

Johnny looked at him for a few seconds, deciding to not push for it. At least for now.

Miguel and Robby had behaved. Competed like little children at the Drive-in’s arcade, eaten like starving men, and were little shits during the rest of the night, but it went well. Good even. It was something both had said to want to repeat.

“It went fine. They fought a little, were little shits all the time, but I think it’s okay. Both said they would do it again, so a win.”

The man chuckled, smiling after. There was a tiny shine in his eyes, but the smile didn’t truly reach them. 

“I’m glad.” Daniel said, eyes still avoiding him.

He watched him breathe. Johnny caressed his cheek again, passing his thumb softly over his bottom lip before leaning down to kiss his temple.

Daniel smiled, looking up, but Johnny kissed his forehead, his nose, his closed eyes, his temple again. 

“What’s wrong?” He murmured against his skin, Daniel didn’t move. “Daniel, just tell me.”

Slowly, the man started to talk.

He told him how it had gone okay until the moment Anthony started questioning him again. His voice broke as he spoke of the shitty things the kid had said, the reminder of how to have this, he had broken his ex-wife’s heart, his kid’s illusion of the life they had.

It was a hard pillow to swallow, and Johnny knew he wasn’t truly worth it but Daniel had chosen this anyway and he had nothing to complain about. 

Maybe eventually he’ll find someone else. Maybe he’ll regret it the rest of his life. Maybe he was already regretting it as he couldn’t look Johnny in the eye.

“Anyway, it’s late…” Daniel murmured, standing up. 

“Yeah, let’s go to bed.”

Daniel looked up, opening his arms. “Carry me?”

“Nope.” Johnny turned around, hearing Daniel laugh as they walked towards the stairs.

There was something in the air, a sense of finality he didn’t like. Was this the last day after all? He’d been so far gone in the strange domestic bliss around them since he moved here, Johnny hadn’t thought of how fragile everything was.

He didn’t want Daniel to be miserable.

Looked from the outside, the man had given up on everything just to have this. And what was it? Him and a house way smaller than all his achievements? It wasn’t worth it, none of this was worth his kids.

“Are you sure about all this?” Johnny asked as they were going upstairs.

Daniel stopped walking, turning around to look at him. “What do you mean?”

He scratched the back of his head before passing his hand through his hair. “I mean, like… I can move out, maybe if I’m not around that much things won’t be too awkward. I don’t know.”

Johnny shrugged, but he had his heart in his throat.

The man looked at him with surprise on his face but no other emotion. He looked at him for a long time, slowly frowning as if his words had just registered in his head.

He swallowed.

“That would be...” Daniel started. “Johnny, I— I asked you to move in here.”

“Yeah, but…” He licked his lips. “Maybe it was too soon. I’m not saying… I’m not saying we should stop seeing each other, but maybe if you had the house for yourself and your kids—“

“No.” Daniel simply said. “No, don’t you fucking dare.”

Johnny closed his mouth.

There was a step between them, Daniel stood taller this time and he was looking down at him as he frowned. There was so much pain on his face now, Johnny felt guilty.

“It’s just…” Johnny swallowed. “I don’t know if you are okay with this. I don’t think you’ve ever been. And if you are—unhappy now, then I have no idea how it is going to help to force it.”

“You think I’m forcing myself to be with you?”

Johnny gave a step back, taking a deep breath.

“I think you are forcing yourself to pretend you are okay.” He said. “And maybe at the end it won’t be worth it.”

“Excuse me?”

“Because—“ Johnny’s mouth tasted of ashes, but he kept talking. “You have a family and none of them are okay with this. Not only your kids, but— your entire family. You are close to them and having this,” he signaled between them, “keeps you away from them. Is that what you want?”

Daniel said nothing, the tip of his nose was looking red. He had never seen him cry, not really— and Johnny wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. 

Or ready to simply step away from this house.

“My mom is okay with it,” Daniel said, Johnny chuckled and stopped himself when he saw the frown becoming deeper.

“Is she?” He asked anyway. “She supports you, she doesn’t like me.”

“Johnny—”

“She’s your mother and she wasn’t fine with this until a movie changed her mind. LaRusso, we got lucky with that one.”

“So your solution is to run away?” He blinked. “Leave me?” Daniel asked, their voices were raising and Johnny wondered if Robby was listening. “You—you know all I gav— you want me to have nothing ?”

“LaRusso—”

“No! This is unfair!” He closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts. “So you go away and then what? I’m not going to marry Amanda again, it won’t fix anything that happened. My marriage is over, it was over before I even thought of it. That leaves me with nothing and completely alone. And what about you?”

Johnny took a deep breath, let it out slowly. He’d seen Daniel do it before, it seemed to calm him down and make him think clearer. All he felt after doing it for a couple of times was the numbness of his body, the tightness of his abdomen, the tension in his muscles.

Daniel didn’t wait for him to say anything, he walked upstairs fast and got into their room with a loud bang of the door.

It was so like Johnny to fuck up everything good in his life. His mother once told him it was as if he wanted to make sure he was never happy, thinking he didn’t deserve it for whatever reason. 

Johnny often thought of her. 

What she would say to him now, would she be happy, would she disapprove? There was no better person in the world than Laura, Johnny could see her smile at him from across the long table of Sid’s house, eyes always so sweet.

Corague , she used to tell him, all you need is corague .

He swallowed, walking up the stairs and preparing himself for whatever mess he was about to do with Daniel.

Talk to him.

When he came in, the room was dark except from the light coming out the open bathroom’s door. He could hear the sound of the water falling in the sink, Daniel cleaning his teeth and his own steps as he stepped in and closed the door.

If Robby was still awake, at least in here he wouldn’t hear him fuck up once again.

He was about to walk into the bathroom when Daniel came out with a hand up, mouth open, ready to keep fighting, and Johnny sighed deeply at the sight.

“He has to get used to it.” The man said, making Johnny frown in surprise. “If he can’t, well… I’ll figure it out.”

Johnny blinked a couple of times, nodding before walking towards the bathroom anyway. Daniel went in behind him, sitting on the closet toilet as he watched Johnny get ready for bed.

“You don’t look happy about it.” He said.

Daniel nodded, he looked way calmer now, even if he was doing that thing he did of caressing where his wedding band once was. Whatever epiphany he had in this bathroom was making Johnny a bit uneasy, unsure if he could keep up with this man and the way he was afraid of nothing when he was set on it.

He swallowed before splashing water on his face, keeping his eyes closed for longer than needed.

“He’s still a child.” Daniel said. “And it’s all so new, he just needs time.”

Daniel was right, Johnny sighed and thought again of what he had said, what he had implied.

The man should be angry at him. He would be.

But still, “And there’s nothing else?” he needed to ask.

Daniel stayed silent as Johnny cleaned his teeth. He stood up and stayed at Johnny’s side as he spit on the sink.

“I can’t help it, it’s just… What Anthony said about Amanda, I—” He visibly swallowed, Johnny looked away and spit again. “I knew she’d be hurt, I just… never thought to have confirmation of it. It makes me sick.”

He couldn’t help the pang of pain in his chest, Johnny closed his eyes for a few seconds, then liked his lips. He went out of the bathroom, followed by Daniel as he unbuttoned his jeans.

The room was still dark, it would probably remain like this until Daniel turned off the light of the bathroom and they went to sleep.

“Well,” Johnny started, jeans off. He walked towards his drawer to take an old t-shirt to sleep, “you have feelings for her. You don’t want her to hurt, so… it keeps you awake.”

The man said nothing, Johnny changed to the old t-shirt and sighed with closed eyes. His clothes smelled of Daniel’s detergent, he smelled of Daniel’s bed and Johnny’s aftershave, just like the man himself.

He swallowed, turning around to find Daniel sitting on his side of the bed with a deep frown again.

“Can you live with that?” He asked.

Johnny blinked a couple of times, then shrugged. “I’m kind of used to it by now.”

Was it pathetic? Daniel looked at him with that frown, watched him walk to the bathroom where he turned off the light and closed the door. The man turned on the lamp over his night stand, moving the sheets aside for Johnny.

He sat down with a sigh, feeling more tired than he had all week, than the days when he trained with his advanced students and would spar with Miguel who every day seemed to become stronger.

All this feelings shit was exhausting.

“No.” Daniel suddenly said, Johnny opened his eyes and frowned. When had he closed them? He looked at the man at his side. “No, that’s not— that’s not what I mean!”

“Daniel—”

“No, no. Fuck that.” He turned on the bed, facing Johnny completely. “You always do this shit” he signaled around with his arms, “where you pretend to not care and that everything’s fine because it’s whatever, but I know you are not “used to this”. I don’t want you to be!”

“Then what the hell do you want?” He frowned, voice raising again in frustration. “What do you want from me, Daniel?”

“It’s just— of course I have lingering feelings for her, she was my wife for almost seventeen years and she’s the mother of my children, what do you want me to do?” He said, getting closer to him and putting his hands on Johnny’s shoulders. “But it’s in no way comparable to how I feel about you!”

“Daniel, tha—“

“And you know what? I know we would have separated even if none of this had happened. Maybe it would had taken longer, but the emptiness was already there—“

He visibly swallowed, looking away as he kept speaking.

“She’s gonna be hurt, I don’t want her to but she will be and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t force myself to feel what she wishes I would, It’s—“ 

Daniel leaned his forehead on Johnny’s collarbone, making him blink. He put a hand on his back, trying to understand exactly what was happening now.

“I’m tired.”

Johnny chuckled. “Yeah, me too.”

He didn’t look up, he kept his face hidden in Johnny’s chest and he wondered if Daniel could hear the crazy way his heart was beating.

“I want to be with you.” He said softly. “Yes, I feel guilty—“ Finally, the man looked up. There were tears gathered in his eyes, Johnny swallowed at the sight. “I feel guilty because I’m happy. But I’m so tired already—“

Johnny held him lightly, boh hands on his waist. They were so close in the semi-dark, he could feel Daniel’s breath on his face.

“I’m so tired of having to feel guilty all the time so people won’t think I’m a piece of shit. So I don’t think I’m a piece of shit.” He blinked the tears away, suddenly looking back at Johnny with a firmness he hadn’t shown in weeks. “But maybe I am! And you know what? Today when Anthony was being a jerk, I realized that I don’t care— one day he’ll grow up and realize it would have helped no one if I stayed married.”

He breathed again, taking a short pause before continuing his speech.

“Fucking sue me, I’m happy. If my entire family is against it so be it.” 

Johnny blinked, Daniel’s hands moved to his neck, fingers between the hair on his nape.

“But I think it’s a real shame because I love you,” Johnny’s mouth opened but Daniel kept nervously talking, “and I’ve been doing better than I ever was. They could share that happiness but no, they want to be assholes. They can keep their shit. I don’t need it!”

Daniel was breathing heavily, looking like the kid he’d been when Johnny met him: all nervous talk and funny words to hide his awkwardness and desperation. 

Unlike that time, Johnny could understand it now, see under it the way he meant every word and still felt conflicted about it. He caressed his left cheek with the tip of his fingers.

“Alright, time for bed.” He murmured, tracing his cheekbone, then the curve of jaw, eyes glued to his own fingers.

“Was that too much?”

He tapped two times on his chin with two fingers, then looked up into Daniel’s eyes. “A little.” He admitted. “I can deal with it, though.”

Daniel sighed in relief, laughing a little. “Just don’t leave me...”

“Daniel,” he called him. The man looked up and Johnny cradled his face gently with both hands.

His partner blinked, his cheeks were turning red. It was past midnight and Robby will have to make his own breakfast because they were sure to oversleep. 

He wanted every and each of this man’s midnights and breakdowns, every nervous word and long speeches.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And Johnny meant every word.

Day 73

When he was young, Daniel had asked his father about the pictures in his wallet.

He kept a photo of his mother, of when they had been young and just met, and another one of her and Daniel when he was just a baby. His father had said he liked to keep them close to him and his wallet was something he would have to carry everywhere every day.

They gave him luck, kept him safe.

After he died, Daniel kept his wallet and kept the photos too. His mother gave him one of him and his dad, and for a long time, he carried it around like this until he grew older and other items were blessed as good luck tokens and whatnot.

The first photo he had of a girl in his wallet had been Ali’s. They had posed together for it, and it stayed in his wallet for only two months, and Daniel always remembered her little sad face as he explained he had lost the picture.

He kept a photo of Kumiko for years.

She was the one girl he couldn’t truly let go for a while, probably because their relationship had been a summer thing filled with dreams and illusions. Her pretty face accompanied him through college and his first year living alone.

The picture had ended in his box of memories, between photos from tournaments and trips with Mr. Miyagi, of college friends he didn’t know anything of now, and other girlfriends that were never on his wallet.

When he married, he didn’t have photos of Amanda and his kids in his wallet.

He kept them in his office, his night stand, the dojo. Then his phone.

It was such an old fashioned little thing, it always made him laugh when he’d see anyone still keeping such a tradition.

“Uh,” he wasn’t laughing now.

He was blushing .

As asked, he took Johnny’s card and gave a look to the two photos in his wallet: a young Robby, maybe thirteen or something, smiling wide alongside a blonde girl he recognized as the infamous Claire, Johnny’s little half-sister, and then there was—

Him.

Daniel.

“LaRusso!”

“Coming!” He answered, swallowing as he gave a last glance to the photo. 

Daniel closed the wallet, running back to the living room where Robby and Johnny looked together at the screen of the boy’s laptop. The kid smiled at him when he passed the card Johnny had asked to bring.

“Are you okay?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.

“What?” Daniel wondered what his face was showing, Johnny was looking at him with a frown now. “Yeah, of course!”

The boy didn’t seem convinced but went back to his task. Daniel sat down at Johnny’s side, giving him his wallet, and watched as Robby introduced the data for his purchase. He smiled, elbowing Johnny and making him roll his eyes.

He once told him he spoiled his kids way too much and here he was, buying Robby a playstation just so the boy could play with his new friends online.

“Don’t say fucking anything.”

Robby laughed, shaking his head while finishing his transaction. “We are now… the proud owners of a brand new Playstation 4.”

“That only you will play. None of us know about this… thing…” Johnny said. “Games are so ridiculously expensive and complicated now, Jesus Christ.”

Robby looked back at them, “You can always learn, old man.”

“Watch it!”

The boy was laughing again. He looked so much like his father every time he did, Daniel couldn’t help but smile as he watched them go back and forth about the purchase and who was teaching who how to play video games.

He never had this with Anthony. 

The kid would buy whatever he wanted without telling them sometimes, fucking up their iTunes and Amazon Prime accounts with shit he wasn’t sure he even needed. And maybe Johnny was right, maybe his permissiveness and coddling didn’t help the way his kids grew up, and maybe part of his son’s tantrums had something to do with that.

It wasn’t a good combination for sure, hurt and confusion spread by sadness in a person who was protected for their entire short life, living in a green castle with modern parents that thought giving everything to a child was enough.

When he was Robby’s age, he thought the same about Johnny.

That he could get away with everything and be an asshole because he had been spoiled growing up. It wasn’t until they were men that he saw the scars and understood what that calm he saw in him after the tournament really was— loneliness. Misunderstanding.

His son. His son was the real spoiled kid, and Amanda was right— they needed to do something or else, he’d grow up being what Daniel always thought were the villains of the movies.

“LaRusso,” he heard Johnny say. Daniel looked at his side slowly, blinking when he saw the worried expression on his face. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Uh?” He turned completely once he realized Robby wasn’t there anymore. “What?”

“Okay,” Johnny leaned back on the couch, putting a certain distance between them. “What’s up in that head of yours?”

“I—” The photo came to mind. He recognized it, too. It was a picture Mr. Miyagi took years ago, that Sam had taken from his things and claimed it for herself. Only his daughter could have given Johnny that photo. “Oh, I was… I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong now?”

There was a certain tone of tiresome in him. Daniel wondered how much Johnny wasn’t telling him, how much he had grown frustrated with him and his inability to simply do right by his own claims and be okay with their new life.

He loved this. He loved him. If he could just… have the other parts of his life in line, it would all be so worth it, so good.

“I saw the photos in your wallet?” He said, it was more like a question. Was this what Johnny wanted to know? “The— it’s the girl, uhm— your sister?”

“Yeah, that’s Claire.”

She looked like a movie star. 

Johnny had told him his father had re-married, contacted him in his early twenties, convinced him to live for a while in his house with his beautiful wife and perfect little boy. Claire was born when he was twenty-five. She could be his daughter.

Sometimes, she felt more as such than a sister, especially when the girl had become a teenager and her father died, making war on her poor mother every day to the point of taking a bus ticket to search for her older brother by herself.

“Pain in the ass crazy chick,” Johnny had called her with so much love in his voice, it had made Daniel’s heart hurt nicely, “of course Robby adores her.”

Claire was an adult now. Had yelled on the phone a month ago when Johnny told her his new address and that the boy was living with him. He had called Daniel his partner, and he hadn’t been able to hide just how ridiculously happy that little detail had made him.

“I’ll be there this summer! We can go to the beach! A gay bar! I don’t care, I’ll be there!” She had promised on the phone, yelling happily on Daniel’s ear after refusing to stop calling until Johnny introduced them.

In the photo, she had looked exactly like what she was. Johnny’s family. Blonde hair, blue eyes, huge grin. “He always wanted a daughter, so I let him call me out all he wants. It’s not like I'm listening anyway!” , she had said over the phone.

Daniel looked at Johnny now, those words echoing in his head as he remembered Sam a few weeks ago, coming into the house with her backpack and a little box. She had been showing something to Robby and he had forgotten to ask what it was.

He had also forgotten to insist on what was all that kitchen talk about, when he had found her sitting on the counter while talking to Johnny who was putting cleaned up dishes in their place.

“You have a picture of me, too.” 

“Yeah.” Johnny answered, blinking a couple of times. “Does it bother you?”

“No, no, it’s—” He swallowed. “I didn’t expect it.”

Johnny looked at him for several seconds without saying a word. Daniel licked his lips, ready to apologize when he felt the man’s fingers on his.

“I have two, actually.” He said. Daniel blinked a couple of times, Johnny moved to take out his wallet. He showed it open to Daniel, moving the two pictures to show another one. “Samantha printed it.”

It was him on his bed at Miyagi-do, a picture he had taken of himself and sent to Johnny before they started their relationship. They had been… flirting through text, or at least he thought they were, and he had sent the photo after saying he was ready to go to bed.

He was in his pajamas. And he had taken thirty one of these just to send this alone. His answer had been a phone call that lasted until around three in the morning. 

It had been November, he had been at his worst, and Johnny had been so ridiculously charming, he had found himself smiling like an idiot after hanging up.

They had gotten together weeks after.

“I didn’t know you liked to keep photos in your wallet.”

“Well,” Johnny sighed, “I got used to it. Ali gave me one of her when we started dating, so I just… kept doing it after.”

Like every time he heard her name on Johnny’s lips, Daniel’s heart jumped. Was it stupid to be jealous? He knew the girl meant a lot to Johnny to the point of considering losing her the start of all his wrong years to come.

Did he still feel like this? Did he remember telling this to Daniel during one of their drunken nights back when he was getting a divorce and Tommy had passed away, leaving a hole in Johnny’s heart?

He swallowed, trying not to think of it.

“Yeah, I used to do it too.” He said. “I don’t know why I don’t anymore, my wallet doesn’t even have like… this.” He touched the look-through plastic in Johnny’s wallet. “I always kept my kids’ photos in my phone, I guess.”

Johnny shook his head. “You can forget your phone, you gotta be stupid if you forget your wallet.” He said. 

It sounded like something else.

“Yeah?” Daniel asked, blinking fast. His nose was burning, goddammit. 

The man put the photo back where it was, closed his wallet and left it between them. He looked up, and for a brief second, Daniel thought of that day when, to him, they got together. 

Johnny had looked at him like this, bright eyes and small smile, hard features suddenly so kind— he had held his breath, slowly talked, and then they had kissed. Just like they were doing now, just like every night before going to sleep.

Don’t leave your wallet , it echoed in his head. Don’t forget your wallet , it went on and on as they went apart, and then kissed again, and again, and again.

Day 91

Daniel pouted while ill. 

He also thought if he denied it enough then he wasn't sick, making Johnny's life harder than it should have been as he tried to keep him in bed after three days of assuring his cough was nothing more than allergies or whatever.

Last night, Johnny had moved in bed and immediately woke up when he felt the unusual heat at his side. Daniel had been burning in fever, shaking, and still asking him to let him sleep because he needed to go to work the next day.

Thankfully, that same fever had kept him in bed almost all morning alongside the kick of the meds. But he was awake now. 

Awake and pouting.

“I’ve been sleeping all day. I want to do something.”

“Mmm.” Johnny answered from the bathroom. He was washing his hands, looking at himself in the mirror. He needed to shave. “Like what? Come downstairs and spread all your germs so me and the kid fall ill too? Robby’s training, remember? Didn’t you say he was winning this year’s tournament or something?”

“You’re a dick…”

“Sure am.” He sighed, blinking at himself in the mirror before finally leaving. Maybe tomorrow morning he’ll shave.

Daniel had put the covers aside and still had his glasses on in spite of giving up on reading like an hour ago. Johnny moved his head to one side slightly while looking at the shirt he was wearing. 

“Is that mine?”

Daniel looked up from his phone at him, then down at the red Triumph Motorcycles t-shirt. He shrugged and went back to his phone as if the sight of him wrapped in Johnny’s clothes wasn’t a reason to throw the rest of the day out the window to dedicate it to worship his ass.

“Yeah.” He answered, “I wanted to be comfortable.”

They fell into silence, Johnny knew more bullshit was coming and he narrowed his eyes, watching Daniel’s body language carefully, suddenly thinking the glasses were never meant to help him read as he had said when he came into the room. 

Daniel was caressing his ring finger again. Johnny closed his eyes, his stomach into knots, willing himself to not fall into Daniel’s ridiculous game or think of why he kept touching that particular area of his finger, when he heard his voice again.

“Also, it turns you on.”

Of course he would wear it just to fuck over Johnny some more, the little shit that he was. 

Johnny sighed deeply, suddenly feeling incredibly tired as he walked towards Daniel on the bed. The man looked up from his phone again, smirking at Johnny like the asshole he was. He shook his head.

“In your dreams, LaRusso.” He said. “You’re burning in fever! Just lay down and get better, I’ll fuck you all week once this is over.”

“Ugh, as if you could do it for two days straight.” The man complained, Johnny clenched his fists and reminded himself the guy was just being an idiot at the moment. “You can barely go a second time after three hours, please…”

Johnny rolled his eyes, “I know what you’re trying to do, LaRusso.” Daniel looked up again, frowning. “Don’t give me those eyes, princess.” 

“Don’t call me that..”

“You love it!” He said, looking at the digital clock on his nightstand. “Past three, time for your meds.”

“I don’t want them.” Daniel whined.

“Too bad!” 

Johnny sat on the bed, taking the bottle of pills to take out the two Daniel needed. He felt him move closer, sighing deeply before his head was on Johnny’s shoulder. 

For a moment, Johnny looked at him, the man must be feeling terrible in spite of his stubbornness. He must be bored as fuck. Johnny kissed his head, making Daniel lookup, those doe eyes shining as if it was a big deal.

It was just a tiny kiss. 

“Here.” He passed the pills, reaching for the water. “And here.”

Even if still looking annoyed, Daniel took the meds and went back to lay down on the bed while Johnny took the empty glass aside. The effect of the pills would take a few minutes to kick, so Johnny sighed and tucked him between protests until he was a human burrito again. 

He moved his head to one side, smiling.

“Maybe I should take a picture of this,” he teased, Daniel narrowed his eyes at him in anger, “this is the only way you finally stop moving around.”

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Daniel answered. “I know you enjoy seeing me helpless and weak, sir. But once this is over, I’m going to annoy the shit out of you.”

“You already do, fucker.” He took away the hair on his forehead with a hand, Daniel hummed in approval when Johnny left it on his head, fingers gently massaging it. “Just take it easy, man… I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Daniel’s eyes closed, nodding slightly and swallowing visibly. Johnny sighed again, keeping his hand where it was, watching him close.

He was pretty even like this. 

“You didn’t eat much this morning, are you hungry?”

“Not really…”

“You should eat.” Johnny insisted, Daniel nodded again and he stood up.

He saw him before closing the door, still laying down with his eyes closed. He sighed and went downstairs, into the kitchen.

Sick Daniel was funny but also a menace.

For days, Johnny had seen him become more and more ill with every sneeze and cough as he filled himself with work and house chores, becoming clumsy during class and worrying the kids. 

He had watched him deny he was feeling more and more tired each day, until he couldn’t work himself out of the situation and a doctor had been called.

The man had looked at them unfazed, listening to Johnny’s observations then to Daniel’s symptoms. He hadn’t commented at all or looked awkward at the obvious fact that they were a couple, and Johnny wondered why he was thinking so much of this as he got Daniel’s soup ready.

He put the plate on a tray, got more water and a couple napkins, then went back upstairs.

When have they become this domestic? He never imagined being like this with a guy, and he’d been with his fair share of men before Daniel. Like any other relationship in his life before Sam and her friends wrecked his car, no relationship with a guy had lasted enough to reach any of this.

Now he was taking care of a sick idiot… who was, of course, on the phone when he opened the room’s door. Johnny shook his head, Daniel looked away as if he wasn’t being difficult once again.

“You gotta stop calling that man, let him do his fucking job!” Johnny said, closing the room’s door with his hip, then walking towards Daniel’s nightstand to leave the tray with the food. “Sales aren’t gonna fall just because you don’t go for a day, put the phone down.”

“But they need me!” Daniel complained. 

“No, we don’t!” They heard someone say from the phone. Daniel looked at it offended, his glasses moving down with his frown. “We’re fine!”

“Put the phone down, LaRusso, or… I’ll throw it out the window.”

Daniel’s mouth opened big, frowning deeper and looking like a cartoon. 

“I’m hanging up, boss! Go to sleep!” they heard from the phone again, and before Daniel could say anything else, Johnny took the phone from his hand, ending the call and putting it in his jean’s pocket.

“What is wrong with you?” He shook his head, “You are sick! Burning in fever! Lay down!”

The man pouted like a fucking child again, frowning as he saw Johnny get closer to touch his forehead. The fever had slowly started to come down, but Daniel still looked like a wet and angry puppy between the sheets of their bed, and he needed to eat.

Johnny sat down, taking the soup and offering it to Daniel. He saw him roll his eyes, but took the spoon and the plate. The sight of him eating, even if just a little and slower than ever, made Johnny feel way more relaxed that he’d been all day.

He ate better than in the morning, Johnny put the plate back on the tray and watched as Daniel lay down, looking sleepy with each movement. The meds must be kicking in, finally.

“I’m going to be downstairs, alright. I’ll check on you in a few, just… sleep.” Johnny said, Daniel looked at him with annoyance in his eyes. 

“I hate you.” He pouted but moved his hand to caress Johnny’s cheek. Johnny smiled at him, knowing Daniel had gotten to like the sensation of his beard in his fingers. And other places. “I mean it…”

“I know you do,” he answered, leaning on his face to kiss his forehead, “I hate you too.”

Daniel’s hand moved to his hair, Johnny looked down and smiled against Daniel’s cheek, kissing it before the man could kiss him as he wanted. He heard him whine, Johnny kissed again in spite of the medicine smell.

He kissed his nose, his other cheek, his chin, all the while Daniel laughed before trying to kiss him in the mouth again. Johnny moved, burying his face on his partner’s neck where he kissed and kissed, letting his beard mark places everyone could see.

There were many unspoken things between them, mostly feelings. 

They didn’t talk about them, or the way people around may or have reacted to their relationship, the fact that they never held hands or touched much in public, how they introduced the other, the way Daniel’s kids were still getting used to this.

But Johnny could watch over Daniel as he slept while sick. He could make him soup, make sure he was drinking enough water and taking his meds. Johnny could keep his phone, take off his glasses to let him sleep, tuck him into bed better, watch his chest go up and down as he slept.

He could lay a small peck on his lips, hoping he’d be better later, hoping he’ll keep annoying the shit out of him when he was sick for the rest of his life.

Day 114

“I swear, LaRusso…” Johnny sighed, “they are tired of hearing about you.” 

Daniel’s attention sparked up at his words, blinking once before smirking. “How’s that?”

Johnny seemed to think better of it, shaking his head slightly. “Don’t make me say it, you know what I mean.”

All he could do was smile, watching as Johnny distracted himself by picking up their empty cups of coffee to take to the kitchen, running away from the unspoken things between them. They didn’t do this thing of… acknowledge their feelings, not with words at least.

But he was out there talking about Daniel to his friends all the time, and it was so much like them to not speak while everything between them showed all around them, making others notice and sometimes even point it out.

They should be careful, more discreet maybe. All these things went around Daniel’s head that day as they were going tonight, looking at Johnny and Jimmy animatedly talking about something they once did with Tommy.

He watched Johnny’s mouth move, his chin on his hand as he pretended to listen. 

Daniel’s eyes moved around, appreciating Johnny’s profile he could draw by memory. 

His strong nose, sharp jaw, and slightly red cheeks. 

The way the tip of his tongue would come out from time to time before speaking again, the glim in his eyes as memories became words and laughs in that mouth Daniel would like to drown in.

Daniel was really, really drunk. And Johnny was really, really handsome.

It was as if he became younger when Bobby and Jimmy were around. 

He would smile with his entire body; all perfect white teeth and shining ocean blue eyes, cheeks going red, all of him just shining— and all Daniel could do was look, like one of those moth things that made Sam walk away when they got inside the house, following the lights.

Johnny’s eyes closed as he smiled, shaking his head. 

Daniel blinked and moved, letting the hand that had been holding his chin fall until it touched Johnny’s over the table. The man didn’t move away, his index finger caressing Daniel’s pinky.

His eyes concentrated on that, glued to their fingers for a few seconds before looking up at Johnny’s profile again. 

Daniel blinked once, twice and thrice, chewing on his bottom lip as he kept his mental exploration of Johnny’s face and the blonde hair he knew was soft and smelled of mint tonight since he’d been using Daniel’s suggested expensive shampoo. 

“Damn.” Daniel heard someone say and then the three men were laughing. 

He blinked, looking at Johnny’s eyes when the man turned to see him. Daniel smiled at him while trying to recall what was told that—

“Like what you see?” Johnny asked, Daniel’s cheeks felt suddenly hot. 

“I— I’m just tired.”

“Sure you are, baby.” Johnny answered, making Bobby chuckle in front of him. Jimmy was shaking his head. 

Daniel slapped his shoulder slightly with his free hand. “Don’t call me that, jerk.”

It made them laugh even more, but Johnny was smiling at him with that soft thing he usually only saw in private. Daniel was suddenly very aware of how public a bar was, his hand still over Johnny’s, body numb and unable to move.

They never did this. It was one of the unspoken things between them. This was not public, and it may never be something they could express freely. They were fine with that, so why was his heart hurting so much at the thought of taking his hand away?

At the end, he didn’t. 

Daniel only let go of Johnny’s hand when new drinks were served. 

The boys kept talking, Daniel kept laughing with them while wondering how was this his life now? How could these men be the guys that once tormented him as a child? They were all different people, so many years later with Johnny’s hand on his thigh under the table.

He watched the hand there, how it sometimes went up and down, feeling every time the man squeezed while laughing, and absolutely nothing happened. 

No one was minding them as it happened, as they talked about his children, his mother that after being against it was now their number one supporter after watching a fucking movie, Dutch that was out of jail and asking them to get together soon.

By the end of the night, Daniel couldn’t feel his feet in the ground. He was funnily buzzed, not really understanding what he was saying as they separated in the parking lot with friendly goodnights and promises of seeing each other again soon.

Johnny walked him to the car with a hand around his waist. The silence between them felt light, and Daniel thought he was just dreaming until they were standing in the middle of the road, face to face, and then Johnny was kissing him.

Somewhere in the back of his head, Daniel knew they were in public and this was something they didn’t do. He was aware this was a first and that if he commented on it, it may ruin whatever magic they were drunk on.

He laughed against Johnny’s lips in the afterglow of whatever just happened tonight that changed the game. Johnny held him closer, kissing his neck softly before looking at him directly. 

Words were tickling in the tip of his tongue, but Daniel said nothing. He just smiled at his partner , seeing him sigh deeply with that sweet smile of his.

“Let’s go home.” He murmured, Daniel nodded before taking his hand to happily finish the walk to the car.

Day 132

Seeing Robby during the tournament, kicking ass and cheering for his fellow Miyagi-do students, had been eye opening once again.

They had stood at opposite sides of the mat again, and from time to time, Johnny would look at the way the boy looked up at Daniel, and clapped when one of the Miyagi-do kids won a match.

For the first time, it didn’t hurt.

Robby had looked at him, smiled and then rolled his eyes when Miguel stood at his side. 

The boys kept their rivalry in spite of being more friendly nowadays.

Sometimes Johnny had to terrorize Robby’s privacy by opening his door after knocking for half an hour without answer, telling him to get off his video games for once and sleep. Most of the time, he was loudly playing with some online kids he couldn’t remember the names of, Miguel and the noisy kid Daniel trained who was always fighting Hawk.

He had sent Miguel back to stand with the rest of the competitors from his dojo, and the loud cheering of his family and Claire had distracted him enough to obey and not complain.

It had been all so loud, and it had ended so different.

He was proud of these kids, how good they all had become, how much they kept getting better. Johnny sighed as his chest filled with pride at the sight of his son passing once again to the final, about to confront Miguel again.

This time, they smiled at each other. This time, the boys taunted the other, making the audience cheer as if everyone could tell there was something healthier and friendlier between them. It had been an amazing match.

He really couldn’t be happier, he never thought he’d ever be feeling this whole.

Johnny fell into the bed with closed eyes, stomach feeling heavy with everything they had eaten during dinner with the kids, the way Robby had looked so damn happy as his little girlfriend kept hugging him and saying how good he’d been.

Not everyone from the dojos had come along, but seeing their kids together had been… well. Whatever Johnny was feeling right now, he hoped Daniel was sharing it too.

“Your sister…” He heard Daniel talk, Johnny opened his eyes and looked at him. He was taking off his dressing shirt. “She’s something.”

“What does that mean?” He asked, sitting on the bed to look at him better as he walked around the room taking off his clothes.

“I mean that I’m getting into the shower.” Daniel said entering the bathroom. “Wanna come?”

Save water and all that shit. 

Johnny stood, following his partner into the bathroom while sending his clothes flying around. The man will be calling him out once he realized after, but fuck it. 

“I mean that she’s great.” Daniel cleared as he turned on the shower. He was already naked, and the sight of him made Johnny want to trap him against the wall and never let him go. “When you said she was young, I really didn’t realize how much. She really could be your daughter.”

“Told you.” He saw the man get into the shower, Johnny followed him and smiled as Daniel let the water fall on his face. He followed it, the way it ran down his body, touching every corner Johnny knew by heart. “She didn’t— she didn’t run your ears…”

“No.” Daniel opened his eyes, smiled at him. He put both hands on Johnny’s waist, getting him closer to his body. The spray of water fell on his head, Johnny sighed at the sensation and closed his eyes, letting it wet him completely. “I really think she’s great. She loves you very much.”

“Mmm.” He put both arms around Daniel’s body, successfully pushing him against his body with a small splash of water, wet skin against wet skin. “Well, that’s the only family you have to meet.” He opened his eyes. “Holiday’s celebrations are cheap in this house.”

The man looked at him for long seconds, there was something on his face that didn’t sit right with Johnny but he couldn’t put a finger on what. 

He seemed— he seemed sad. And if the way he was suddenly hugging him, hiding his face in his neck, was any indication, Johnny was in for confusing minutes if Daniel didn’t decide to share what was going on.

But it just came to him as he hugged him back, all of this insane day. 

Daniel had been nervous, talked about the Dealership and how they sponsored the tournament. Amanda had told him she’d come with the kid since someone needed to go in representation, and Daniel as a sensei wasn’t exactly it, but they didn’t show up. Someone else was sent at the last minute.

He had seen Daniel look at his phone, then at his daughter.

Sam sat down alone at first until Moon moved from her place to keep her company. Later, as they celebrated with the two dojos together, she’d told him and Miguel her brother didn’t want to come and her mother hadn’t wanted to leave him alone in the house.

Whatever was going through Daniel’s head troubled him. He eventually moved to wash away the sweat and whatever else he was carrying.

“Can I ask you something?” Daniel said as Johnny was shampooing his hair. “It’s… kind of personal.”

They didn’t really do this. The personal shit.

But, “We are naked in a small bathroom.” Johnny reminded him, Daniel smiled a little. “Can’t get any more personal. Shoot.”

Daniel bit his bottom lip, he was looking everywhere but at Johnny.

For a second, he thought maybe he would just leave it there. Johnny stepped into the water with closed eyes, taking away the shampoo. He felt hands on his abdomen, and lips on his jaw before they were kissing under the water.

Daniel took charge of the kiss, swallowing Johnny’s little moan. He put his hands on the man’s waist, Daniel bit his bottom lip and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fuck,” he licked where he was biten, “ask me shit more often.”

The man laughed, leaning his forehead on Johnny’s. He was looking at him directly for the first time since the restaurant. 

“How…” He swallowed, Johnny prepared himself for whatever whiplash was coming. “How was your divorce?”

“Uhm.” Johnny blinked, trying to think of what to say. “A mess. But fast.” He admitted, looking at Daniel. The man wrapped his arms around Johnny’s middle, waiting for the rest. “Shannon and I were desperate to say goodbye, but drunk enough to conceive a child after fighting.”

Daniel frowned, Johnny sighed and shook his head. It had been a while since he even thought of it. “I’m not proud of any of that. We were at our lowest.”

“How did you make it work? With Robby and all.”

Johnny snorted but there was no humor on it. “Does it look like I ever did? Some days were better than others. Some years were okay, I was between sobriety and not. Shannon hadn’t fallen into her worst habits and, then…” Johnny sighed. “We are actually lucky our kid has a good heart.”

“He loves you…” Daniel murmured, there was something sad there. Jealousy, even. It was such a ridiculous change of scenario. 

Would they ever not parallel each other? Was this Daniel’s turn to go through all this shit just like Johnny had before? 

Now he was standing with someone he chose to be with, making stupid jokes under sheets on the same bed, with his son finally okay with him, even with a better relationship with his ex-wife.

Sober, fit, happy. Fine.

“You know he loves you too, right?” He answered, taking the shower’s hose behind Daniel. The man looked down, he could tell his cheeks were turning pink. “And your little demon loves you as well. If he’s being an asshole is because he cares.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t give me that crap,” Johnny arched an eyebrow, but Daniel was finally smiling. Still sad, still weird, but finally a bit more honest. “You know I’m right. He’s just a kid, he… I don’t know, Daniel.”

He looked up, looking better. “I don’t know either.”

“Well, like you said—we’ll figure it out.” He said, immediately turning on the hose and spraying water on Daniel’s face.

The man laughed, pushing him away but finally laughing like he meant it. 

His dojo, one of the reasons all his problems started, had won a lot tonight and all Daniel could think of was his family. Johnny could understand it, he had been a mess of found feelings and desperation last year when he had been confronted with a huge win that had turned him even farther away from his son, and showed him how wrong he’d been to teach the worst of him.

Daniel was a good man, a good teacher. He had good kids under him, kids that were learning well— yet he was troubled, away from his flesh and blood at the same time he was happy in a new home.

He helped him dry himself, let him do the same for him, laughed in his hair as Daniel attacked his neck with kisses. They got dressed and ended up in bed, the man looking lighter than earlier but still conflicted.

“Today was good.” Daniel said as they lay down together. “I mean it.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m glad Claire likes you, I’m too old to deal with her shitty remarks if she didn’t.”

He heard Daniel laugh, Johnny looked at him and saw that carefree expression he always wore while laughing. It was one of his favorite things.

“How long will she stay?”

Johnny shrugged, “Just this weekend. But she menaced to stay for longer during summer.”

“Mmm.” Daniel turned, looking at him as he laid on his side. “We can do all those things she said then.”

He smiled at him. “Sure.”

Johnny put his hand on Daniel’s hair, tracing his ear with one finger, slowly letting that finger trace his face, the hard edges and masculine features. Daniel closed his eyes, sighing.

“You know, when I was a kid,” Johnny started, “my mom and I lived in this… tiny apartment. I saw it bigger than it actually was, but it was a one room little thing. We had the loudest neighbors, but it was the only time I actually knew them.”

“What about Carmen and Rosa?”

“That’s different, Carmen’s noisy kid came to me.”

Daniel laughed, Johnny caressed between his eyebrows, trying to smooth the tension there. 

“Every time, even after she married rich or after I married Shannon, I always thought of that little place as home.” He said. “It smelled of her perfume. She always had flowers in the kitchen. There was a lady with a lot of cats on the first floor that always let me see the kittens. These guys, only now I’m realizing they were together, lived in front of us— mom asked them to look after me when she was working extra.”

“Yeah?”

Johnny nodded. Daniel licked his lips, he looked like he was a few seconds away from falling asleep, probably lulled by the tender movement of his fingers on his face. Johnny could remember Shannon doing this with Robby when he was a child, helping him to sleep.

“Miyagi-do is what I think of when I think of home.” Daniel said, looking and sounding guilty. He was murmuring, as if his kids or Amanda could hear him all the way to Encino Hills. “I cried the first night I slept in my own apartment. All I wanted was to go back there, listen to Mr. Miyagi drunk singing or trying to catch a fly.”

“What?” He laughed a little, Daniel finally smiled and nodded.

“Yeah—he would try to do this… he tried to catch a fly with chopsticks, said that a man who did it, could accomplish anything.” He said, still small, like sharing a secret. “I catched one when we were training before the tournament.”

“Really?”

“Yes…” He moved his hand on the bed, fingers slightly touching Johnny’s chin. “He was sooo mad!”

They laughed together. He could imagine it, the old man concentrating on his task, this lanky kid coming in and doing it as easy as breathing. Daniel had something, something that genuinely made him into the best on whatever he concentrated himself on.

“So you can accomplish anything.” Johnny reminded him, Daniel seemed to catch on his actual meaning. The man watched him, he stopped his fingers and gently laid his hand on Daniel’s cheek. “You have your home back, you will be alright.”

Daniel kept his eyes on him, they looked too clear for his liking, almost as if he was about to cry. He could see the constant movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way his nose was turning red on the tip.

Johnny took a deep breath. “You know that little apartment me and ma had, what made it so special was that— when it was just the two of us, we were happy. And I guess I always wished it could be like that, even if we didn’t have money.”

“I always thought you were born rich.” Daniel reminded him.

“I acted my part, alright.” He chuckled. “It was easier to pretend, but at the end nothing of it was mine.” He sighed, heart beating faster. “Until now.”

Daniel looked at him with that soft gleam he often had when Johnny did something right. 

This may not be exactly what he needed right now, but… it could help. It could be enough.

“This place smells like chocolate and your girly detergent—”

“Hey!”

“And you.” He sighed. “Pine, and wet dirt, everything green.”

Daniel blinked, he looked confused but amused at the same time.

“This place… I don’t know why, but It makes me feel like when I lived in that small apartment as a kid. I have never felt like that anywhere else.” Johnny chewed on the inside of his cheek, willing himself to finish what he wanted to say. “This is what I think of when I think of home now.” He blinked. “This place where my son and—” Johnny swallowed hard, trying again. “Where my son and my partner live.”

He could see every stage of recognition in Daniel’s face. The confusion, the surprise, the overwhelming feeling of each word until he was smiling. His cheeks were red as well as his nose, and even though he looked like crying again, it was different. 

Finally, a good kind of different.

“I love you.” Daniel said, Johnny opened his mouth but immediately closed it again with a loud click. The man laughed, Johnny’s cheeks felt hot and his heart hammered in his chest. “It’s okay.” Daniel assured him, still smiling and now getting closer until he was burying himself against his body with his face on Johnny’s neck.

It was fucking hot that night, but Johnny wrapped his arms around him and held him as close as possible.

“Carry me?” Daniel murmured against his skin.

Johnny moved until the man was half on top of him, face still in his neck. “Sure.”

He felt him get comfortable, relaxing in their embrace and slowly fall asleep. 

And all the while, Johnny held him.

Day 149

The last days of school were always fun, and even though this year Daniel wasn’t in the big house, he made sure to be around his kids anyway, reminding them they could still do plans for the Summer and be together.

Anthony was hard but not a bad kid. Eventually, Amanda had realized Anthony's ways were affecting his grades and the way he behaved around others, included her. 

Talking to her had been... strange. Daniel couldn't really look at her in the face, his entire body tense as they spoke quietly, almost waiting for one of them to snap and something bigger to happen.

It never did. 

Life kept going, and prom was coming, graduation was closer, and in Fall, Samantha and Robby would be in college. Most of Johnny's and his advanced classes would be in college, too. And all of it felt like losing something—but for the first time, Daniel was at peace with it.

It had become a little easier, with Sam every day closer, probably wanting to spend as much time as possible with him since she’d be leaving in a couple of months. 

Karate, like where she wanted to go for college, was hers to decide, and in spite of his stubbornness, Daniel learned to let it be. Her interest in karate had died down, she had chosen college out of their home, and he had accepted it.

His baby girl was becoming an adult. 

Next Fall she'll start college, live with roommates, meet new people, find out who she'll be for the rest of her life. Daniel was sure she’ll do great, she’ll make them proud, and she’ll be happy.

Still. He had hoped to be there when pictures were taken when her date picked her up for her last prom.

Daniel had thought to see her come down the stairs with her dress, the make up Amanda had helped her with, her hair Moon had styled. He hoped to see her shining like the sun she always was in his life, see the expression in her face as time stopped and she realized there was no one in the world that mattered more than her in that moment.

Instead, Daniel was at home with all the lights up in his living room, hearing Robby laugh with his father as they battled to get his tie correctly. 

Johnny had told him to go upstairs too when the boy asked for help, but Daniel felt as if he was interrupting something that didn’t concern him. 

For the first time, Johnny had the chance to rebuild his relationship with his son, and as much as Daniel loved being involved, he didn’t want to take him from the spotlight. Again.

Right now, Johnny and Moon were the center of Robby’s world, and tonight he could have both and have fun with the friends he made during the school year.

“Please!” He heard the boy say, Daniel looked up and saw them come downstairs deep in discussion. “Come on, you know I’m a good driver! I’m responsible!”

“I don’t think so.”

“Damn…” Robby was frowning, he looked away and saw Daniel sitting in the living room. His eyes shone and the boy smiled at him. “Mr. LaRusso!”

“Yes?” He asked, curious but cautious with the way Johnny was arching his eyebrows at him.

“Tell dad I’m a good driver!” He begged. Daniel bit his tongue to not laugh. “Please, I just want the Challenger tonight. I will never ask for it again!”

“That’s your dad’s car.” Daniel reminded him. “What can I do? Nobody touches that car.”

Johnny put a finger up, approving of Daniel’s words. The boy sighed defeated, walking the rest of the stairs and suddenly standing in the light.

He smiled, looking at his red suit and poorly made tie. His hair was shorter, styled back, and he could smell Johnny’s cologne instead of his more juvenile one. He had a big night ahead.

“Look at you!” Daniel said. He could feel Johnny’s eyes on him. The boy looked up. “You look so good!”

“Please…” Robby blushed, looking down. “I look like a Jersey Boy...”

“And?” Daniel said with crossed arms, acting offended.

The boy seemed to catch his meaning, cheeks pink. “I didn’t mean it like—“

Daniel chuckled. “Come on!” Daniel laughed, standing from the couch and walking towards him. Maybe he could fix that tie. “It’s a great suit! Your dad wore a red suit to our prom, too.”

“Really?” Robby looked behind Daniel, he felt Johnny walk towards them after leaving something on the coffee table.

“I wish it was anything like this! No, it was red— like really red. Awful. It’s been thirty years and I hate it even more than I did back then.”

Robby laughed, probably imagining an awful 80s suit. Daniel could remember Johnny’s red suit—he thought of it often when younger. He had looked great, like a movie star. He had wore a bowtie, his hair looking softer than usual without the black headband.

He couldn’t help but smile at the image: Johnny entering the hall, hands in his pockets, bluest eyes he has ever seen.

“He looked great, and you do too.” Daniel winked at him, Robby smiled. “But that tie is so sad, I’m going to be stressed over it if you don’t let me fix it.”

“Okay.” Robby laughed, putting his arms at his sides to let him work.

Johnny walked ahead of them, watching Daniel fix the tie. He reworked all of it, making the boy laugh when he looked at the very different result. He sighed, watching as father and son looked at each other smiling before Johnny offered the keys of his car to Robby.

“Really?”

“Don’t sweat it or I’ll change my mind.”

“Yes!” Robby took the keys, he looked like he had won the lottery. “Thanks, dad.” He smiled at him. “I don’t know why, but Moon loves this car. She’s gonna be excited.”

“Oh, so that’s why you wanted the Challenger now?” Daniel asked, shaking his head.

“Told you, chicks dig the black.” Johnny told him, Daniel narrowed his eyes at him while Robby laughed.

“That paint work is awful! You ruined a perfectly fine car, that’s what you did.”

“Not according to the girls.” Johnny sang as he took the camera he had left on the coffee table. “Picture time or your mother will kill me.”

Robby nodded. “Can you send them to me? I’m seeing her tomorrow, so…”

The man signaled at Daniel at the same time he put a finger up. “He’ll do it.” He nodded, as much as Johnny was actually good at taking pictures, he sucked at the rest of technology.

“Cameras haven’t changed much!” He had said when Daniel first noticed. “ You have a good camera, you have a good picture. Now, don’t move.”

He sat down on the couch’s arm, seeing as Robby tried his best to not look awkward while posing. Daniel felt his phone vibrate, he took it out to find Sam’s name on his screen. She had sent him a picture, and before he could open it, several more came in.

“Come on, dad…” He heard Robby said, father and son were walking to each other as Daniel opened his chat with Sam. “Don’t put that face! Smile for once!”

“I’m smiling!”

“No, you look like a Netflix Original villain. Smile like a normal person!”

Daniel looked up by instinct, Robby was trying to take a selfie of him and his dad. He smiled, looking down again to find photos of Sam in her pale blue prom dress he had bought. His heart hurt, looking through the pictures in the Encino House: several poses, her smile so bright Amanda probably didn’t need flash for the ones near the pool.

The next bach came in, this time with her date and—

“Miguel is taking Sam to prom?” Daniel asked aloud, he heard the moment the other two stopped laughing. He scrolled down the pictures, seeing the boy had chosen a fine black suit without a tie and a pale blue dressing shirt, the same tone as Sam’s dress. They must have talked about matching. “Hey—“

“Yeah.” Johnny said. “I thought you knew.”

Daniel looked up, blinking and looking between both of them. “No, I… No.” He swallowed, trying hard not to think much of it. “Are they— are they together again?”

Johnny looked at Robby, the boy shook his head. “No…”

It didn’t sound too convincing, but Johnny looked at him and shrugged. “They will probably, though.”

“Really?” Daniel licked between his lips. “Well, if she’s… if she’s happy, I’m glad.”

He knew he had made things awkward. Robby scratched behind his head, Johnny took the camera and cleared his throat, telling his son to take it. They looked at each other for a few seconds, but the boy took it with a small smile, promising to be careful with it.

Daniel went back to his phone, looking through the pictures of his daughter and Miguel. 

The boy was becoming a man like his advanced class, sharper edges and hardened body. He and Samantha looked good , as if right in this moment they belonged. And Daniel couldn't help but wonder how it will go for now on.

Was it to be like everyone else’s relationships at this age? A few months, maybe a couple of years, then goodbye? This was their second attempt, Daniel never had a second attempt with anyone in his life until now.

He looked at Johnny, his profile he liked so much. If this second chance was to Sam what his was for Daniel, then— she’ll be alright.

“Gotta go, I don’t want to get late to Moon’s.” Robby said, Johnny was showing him something on his phone. “Dad, Sam is right. Open an instagram.”

“What the hell is that?” He asked. Daniel bite the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh.

Robby shook his head. “Just… okay. Tomorrow, after I come back from mom’s, we are making you an instagram.”

His father shook his head, looking at his phone as he typed something. Robby smiled at Daniel, he waved his hand.

“Thanks for the help, Mr. LaRusso.” He said, Daniel smiled at him. “Dad,” Johnny looked up, Robby squeezed his bicep. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Have fun, don’t drink and drive.”

“Yes, sir.” The boy answered, walking away. He took the flowers he had bought earlier this afternoon from the table with the key’s bowl. “I’m taking my keys!”

“Use protection!” Johnny yelled at him, Daniel shook his head.

“Oh my god!” Robby turned with a horrified expression, Daniel couldn’t help but laugh.

“What? You think I was born yesterday?” Johnny asked, making Daniel laugh louder. “There’s condoms in the glove compartment!”

“Dad!”

“And lube!”

Daniel jumped at the declaration, laughing even harder. “JOHN!” 

“What?” He smirked, Daniel was sure his face was red. “Don’t act all surprised, he’s old enough to know about the bees and the flowers.”

“Jesus, I’m leaving.” The boy opened the door, shaking his head. Daniel bite his bottom lip, shaking his head at Johnny without taking his eyes away from him. The man winked at him. “Uh,” They looked back at Robby, he was half-way out the house. “Thanks.”

Johnny laughed putting a hand on his chest, slightly throwing his head back like a little kid. Robby closed the door, Daniel swallowed and looked back at his phone. Sam hadn’t answered him, she was probably already in the dance.

They stayed downstairs, watching TV in mostly silence with something solid in the air.

He wasn’t sure of what it was, if they should be talking about it, or what they should be doing to make it stop, but Daniel wasn’t truly in the mood for yet another night trying to process and understand everything happening and changing in his life.

Guilt wasn’t truly following him around anymore. 

A part of him felt it just for the fact that he wasn’t sorry for this house, this relationship, the dojo, none of it. Anthony was still a sore point, a work in progress. He couldn’t call his nights out with Johnny what they actually were, they didn’t address what they were supposed to be, let alone show it in public— but he wasn’t sorry about having it.

His phone vibrated. 

Daniel saw Johnny move to take his phone too, and when he looked at the screen, he saw he had been added to a group chat by Robby. He opened the chat, looking in time as the boy sent in a bunch of pictures—

“Oh.” He smiled, “Look—”

“Yeah, I’m seeing.” Johnny answered, getting closer to him on the couch. He let his head lean on Daniel’s shoulder as they looked through their own phones. “ they hated each other…”

He looked at Johnny’s phone, he had opened a photo that showed Miguel and Robby side by side in front of a photo-booth. It looked like Johnny’s plan of having Miguel over for dinner, taking both boys out to “do cool shit” had worked.

The phone made a sound again, more things were coming into the chat.

Daniel sighed, looking into his phone to find Robby had edited the group’s name and picture. He blinked a couple of times, looking at the name and—

“Shit.” Johnny murmured, he had gotten away from Daniel, looking to his screen with a frown. “Shit, this kid…”

Karate Dads , it read. He had also added a photo they had taken the day he had moved in, in front of what was now Robby’s mirror. It was the only picture of the three of them.

The man was biting his nails when Daniel looked at his side. He didn’t look mad at his son, maybe a bit embarrassed, but not mad at all. Just nervous. It made Daniel wonder how was it so easy for Johnny to deal with this?

It made him imagine once again what could have made Johnny so open with his sexuality. 

Did he have a boyfriend before? More than one? Robby had taken the news so easily, when Daniel asked about it, Johnny had shrugged and said his son always knew both his parents were bisexual.

Shannon had a long term relationship with another woman, they had talked with their son about it when it happened. Johnny had told him he was into men too, to make him see it was okay and nothing had to change.

They were still his parents.

He frowned, looking away.

Johnny was the only guy he had ever been... with. He had liked other men before, had kissed a few when younger, but he never— he never crossed certain lines. The idea of John with someone else was— upsetting .

Ridiculous, for sure. But it upset him anyway. Among other things.

“Hey,” He heard, Daniel looked at him and blinked, “are you okay?”

Daniel smiled, hoping he didn’t look like the liar he was. “Yeah.”

The man blinked, slowly going back to where he’d been before the change of name, except this time his head wasn’t on Daniel’s shoulder. He sighed, looking back at his phone, seeing Robby had written something in the chat.

I didn’t know what else to call it, sorry

Johnny answered before him, he simply wrote It’s fine , followed by It’s not a lie .

It really wasn’t. The boy answered with a smiling face emoji, and that was it.

They stayed quiet for the rest of the night.

Day 161

Claire came for the Summer as she had menaced, and Johnny had never wished his sister would shut the hell up.

She was a good kid, Nora had raised her well, but her loud voice and happy personality gave him a headache most of the time. She was way too enthusiastic about him and Daniel, one of these days she would get him in trouble.

During her first week in the city, they went everywhere she wanted. It eventually slowed down as the second week started, and they stayed home watching movies and talking about her life in Chicago, her masters and whatever else came into conversation.

He often looked at her when talking to Daniel, wanting to make sure she was okay with this, with him.

Claire was a lesbian. He knew she wouldn’t—reject him for being with a man, no. But he knew how overprotective and even jealous she could get. According to her, nobody was good enough for her big brother and it always made Johnny feel all sort of bullshit.

Right now, as they eat at Golf n’ Stuff, telling stories of the place and their youth, her blue eyes illuminated at the mention of Ali, and Johnny knew something terrible was about to happen.

“Oh yeah, you guys dated the same chick.” She said, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she finished chewing her burger.

Daniel swallowed visibly, nodding. “Yeah, it was—” He chuckled. “Kind of why we fought in the first place.”

She made a face after taking her hand away, her curls moved with her as she took her soda. “Don’t blame you! I’ve seen Ali on Facebook. She’s gorgeous!”

Daniel blinked a couple of times, Johnny couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the man hadn’t catched on to Claire's sexuality yet in spite of the way she would signal a girl or two sometimes to him, nicely complimenting them before keeping on walking.

“So what happened?” She asked.

“Uh, well— We have our first date here.” Daniel commented, sounding almost shy. “I was new to the city, so I had no idea where to go. She suggested here, and honestly—” He sighed. “It was pretty good!”

Johnny swallowed, mouth tasting bitter. Claire was looking at him as she took a sip of her soda, then looked back at Daniel with a little smile he didn’t like.

“That’s funny, for what I’ve been told, my brother took her here for their first date, too.”

Daniel’s eyes opened wide, Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, looking at her with a frown.

“Claire.”

“What? You told me that story a million times!” She frowned. “Oh come on, you didn’t tell him?”

“Yeah, we don’t really talk about our exes.” Johnny said, Daniel was exuding awkwardness at his side. 

Claire seemed to think it over, nodding slowly and deciding to shut the hell up for once. Johnny sighed, looking around to see where Robby and the other teens were. He saw them at the arcade area, carrying tickets like little children.

They were holding hands, Moon and Robby. They looked— sweet together. Moon looked at Robby as if he was the center of her universe. He had seen her put a picture of him on the Instagram thing Robby had made for him, and she had called him ‘king of my heart’.

If this girl liked his boy this much, she was perfect in his eyes.

“By the way,” He heard Claire say, Johnny looked at her. “Talking about Ali— The other day I saw she was saying something about coming here. Are you gonna see her?”

Johnny was going to murder her.

“No.” He answered as Daniel looked at him, curiosity and something else in his eyes. “Why?”

“Dunno.” She sighed. “Don’t you guys get tired of the negativity? Let go of the resentment, man. It’s been thirty years.”

“Are you gonna start with the vibes of the universe crap again?”

She laughed. “No vibes of the universe this time, no.” Claire sighed, chewing on a fry before swallowing and talking again. “But it would be good for you.”

“I don’t think so.” He answered, Daniel had looked away.

Claire watched the two of them. He could tell she was seeing things nobody else could, her fucking psychology major shit creeping him out again. She had always been a very clever and observant child, her career made sense.

It didn’t mean he didn’t hate it a little.

“It would be good for the two of you.” She suggested. “Then again, I did promise not to intrude in your personal life!”

“That’s right, you l—”

“I’m sorry!” She smiled, bright and happy as always. “I just love you so much, I love seeing you happy.”

This little fucker.

Johnny swallowed, nodding at her and looking at Daniel at his side. 

If he tried to take his hand under the table, would he freak out? Would he let him put his hand on his thigh again? Johnny uncrossed his arms.

“So,” she started again, this time looking at Daniel, “do tell me about this big doofus when you guys were in High School!”

Daniel looked up almost right away. “Oh no, no doofus. He was a bitch .”

Johnny gasped, looking at the man. Daniel arched an eyebrow at him, almost daring him to say otherwise. At the end he nodded, shrugging it off— he had been a bitch to him, hadn’t him? Johnny could hear Claire laughing and clapping.

“I love this!” 

Hearing Daniel tell the stories of that last year of High School was infuriating.

They often disagree on details, reasons for shit happening at the time, who was in the right. But today he was listening to them without thinking much of himself or Ali, only looking at his sister’s reactions and arched eyebrow every time the worst of it was brought up.

Daniel tried to focus mostly on the calmer times, when they would just make faces at each other across classrooms and hallways, talking mostly of his sensei and how life was back then. 

She didn’t ask anything to him, he had told her everything a million times before. She knew the details Daniel didn’t, like what was happening behind closed doors in that ridiculous house he used to live in with Sid and all the monsters under his bed.

Claire knew of his worst nights, his nightmares after the tournament, and it occurred to him—

He and Daniel, they never talked about it. Not really.

Not Ali, not All-Valley, not Kreese.

His old sensei was dead and away from him forever, but his mark had followed him his entire life. It had been months since he last had a nightmare about the parking lot of the arena, but if one happened tomorrow, what would he say to Daniel?

The man talked for what felt like hours, and Johnny was sure he hadn’t even realized. He probably hadn’t noticed the way Claire wouldn’t say a word, just ask him a few things and laugh at the time, look at Johnny some others. 

By the time Daniel was talking about Kreese again, Johnny had enough.

He stood up, and walked away. He heard Claire call his name, but he didn’t turn.

“John!” Daniel called him, and Johnny swallowed, willing himself not to turn. “John, come on—”

Swallowing again, Johnny stopped but didn’t turn around. Daniel walked to him, standing in front of him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking genuinely worried. “I’m sorry if I upset you, I—”

“It’s not you.” Johnny said with a sigh. “I just…”

In three seconds of silence, Daniel seemed to understand. His eyes went wide at first as he realized, his face slowly changing from one of worrisome to understanding, then sympathy. He didn’t smile at him or told him it was okay, just looked at him and put a hand gently on his shoulder.

“Want to take a walk?” He asked.

Johnny blinked once, twice. “Uh. Yeah.”

They didn’t talk while walking around the park area. They didn’t talk as they made their way back either, but all that time, all Johnny could think about was his youth and the days wasted here.

Back when everyone was changing for the better, but not him. Not his house, not every bit of his days that made him into the violent boy he had become and that had welcomed Daniel into his life with a kick.

Hearing him today had been… horrifying.

Why was he with Johnny?

“Daniel,” he called him as Moon and Robby got into Claire’s rental, speaking loudly of the movie they were gonna watch with her. Daniel blinked, looking at him as they stood in front of his car. “I—”

What was he doing? Johnny swallowed. He could feel Daniel’s eyes on him as he looked down, scratching the back of his head. Johnny could also tell that his sister was watching him. The parking lot had gone silent in spite of the bunch of people going around.

He shook his head. On with it. Johnny looked up at his partner.

“I’m—I’m sorry.”

Daniel frowned for a few seconds after Johnny spoke, “What for?”

He swallowed. “How I treated you… before.”

The man blinked a couple of times until recognition hit his face. Johnny watched every stage of it go through his face, and his heart started to beat so fast, Johnny was sure Claire and the kids could hear it all the way to the other side.

“Oh.” Was all Daniel said, looking conflicted and surprised. “I mean, it was so many years ago, it’s not— It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Well, it matters to me.” He said, realizing maybe he should have waited for them to be home. Or at least alone in the car.

Daniel looked at him, looked around his face for something. Slowly, he smiled at Johnny and sighed deeply.

“You mean it.” He said in a low tone, almost only to himself. “Well.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you.” Daniel said, then sighed. “Sorry I was such an insufferable jackass, too.”

Johnny blinked, recognizing Daniel’s tone, knowing he wanted to make the tension go with his usual jokes. But this time, Johnny had none of it. This was damn important, he needed this. Maybe Daniel needed it, too.

“It was wrong.” Johnny said, Daniel’s expression changed again, this time to a more neutral one as he processed his words. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Daniel nodded slowly, turning around to walk to the car. Johnny sighed, feeling worse than he did minutes ago. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up, maybe Daniel couldn’t forgive him after all— was this one of his ways of punishing himself for ending things with his ex-wife? Date the guy that used to hit him when he was a kid?

The man turned to him, Johnny blinked. “Is it okay if you drive?”

“Uh, yeah.” He answered, taking the keys from Daniel’s hand.

He tried to take all those ideas away, walking to the car and getting in fast. Daniel sat down on the passenger seat, looking lost in thought as music filled the space between them.

They drove in silence, following Claire’s rental, until she took a turn to go to the mall with the teens. He kept driving in a straight line, back home.

Day 162

He didn’t like it when the house was quiet.

Daniel had gotten used to Johnny’s music in the living room and Robby’s games echoing in the hallway to the rooms when he went upstairs. He was now used and happy to hear their laughter every day, go around bickering with Johnny like an old married couple, feeling whole with all the noise of a home.

Today they were silent, each around but not together.

No music, no laughter.

Earlier, as he had been talking to Claire, Daniel wondered why he couldn’t just stop. Since when had he been carrying all these things inside? Every time he talked about that year with anyone, he ended up laying or giving half-information that didn’t truly bring up more questions or worried faces.

It wasn’t what happened between him and Johnny, Ali, the tournament, it was— he knew he’d end up talking about that . About the thing he didn’t really want to touch.

He watched as Johnny walked into their bathroom in their room.

When he apologized, Daniel thought it the sweetest thing. He wished he had made it clear, that he didn’t expect it but wasn’t weirded out by it, that he genuinely accepted it. But it had inevitably made him think of other things, of places he should have never been in and people he often related to Johnny in spite of the fact that it had nothing to do with him.

It was that fucking logo. That place.

It would be good for the two of you.

Daniel blinked, thinking of the pretty girl that had been walking around town with them these past two weeks. She’ll be leaving tomorrow night, and he had found himself not wanting her to.

She was a magnet of sunshine and laughter, and Daniel liked the way Johnny smiled when Claire was around. He clearly loved his little sister, and the way she had simply jumped into their lives without judging them, without questioning why—he wanted to keep that energy around.

Claire had hugged him so strongly when they met, had thanked him for taking care of her brother and her baby nephew the third night as they said goodbye, made him laugh as they played board games on what she had called wine night after sending Robby away with his mother so the three of them could be alone.

Daniel had so much fun that night. He had never sang while holding a glass of wine, barefoot on his living room, carefree and just happy stupid.

He never thought he’d dance with Johnny, kiss him in front of someone else. But they had, and Claire had clapped excitedly, happy for her brother. Daniel couldn’t help but feel she was also happy for him, genuinely fond of Daniel in spite of such little time of knowing each other.

There's a room where the light won't find you

Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

When they do, I'll be right behind you

They had sung until the wine had faded and Claire had fallen asleep on the couch. He had gone to bed happy, noticing not for the first time the way Johnny spooned him to sleep. How he laced their fingers over Daniel’s chest, breathing peacefully on his neck. 

He wished they could keep her here, an ally among the mess the rest of his family life had become.

Johnny came out of the bathroom, and Daniel looked at him from the bed.

His broad shoulders looked tense, his face sad. And even like that, he was such a handsome man, Daniel felt like that kid again. That kid that would look at him from across the classroom after the tournament, feeling something strange and unique in his stomach as he learned every line of his face.

Once, Johnny had caught him. 

They looked at each other for long seconds, nobody moved or said anything after. And Daniel always wondered if it would have continued, hadn’t the professor entered the class. It continued now, as Daniel looked at Johnny, both standing on different sides of the bedroom.

“Why are you with me?” Johnny asked suddenly.

Daniel blinked. “What kind of question is that?”

“Well,” he saw him hesitate as he looked down. He took a deep breath, and slowly walked towards the bed. “I used to bully you. I threw you down a hill once. Beat the crap out of you with my friends, no mercy.”

He blinked again, slowly understanding what was going on. Daniel swallowed.

“So, I’m asking you… for real… how can you be with me?”

“Johnny, you were a child.” Daniel answered, voice soft and low. He blinked. “You’re not that kid anymore.”

He didn’t seem to be satisfied with his answer. Johnny walked to the bed, sitting at the edge with his back to Daniel.

“I don’t get it, I—”

Daniel took a deep breath, moving on the bed until he was sitting behind Johnny. He leaned his forehead on his shoulder after kissing it.

“You went through a lot at that age, both of us did.” Daniel started, unsure of how much he could get out. But he could try. “I forgive you.” He said, his heart hurting. It was the truth, he had already forgiven him a long time ago. “I’m with you because you… make me feel like myself. Like I’m not alone.”

Johnny turned his face as if trying to hear clearer. Daniel licked his lips and kissed his shoulder again, this time leaning his chin on it to look at his profile.

“I said the other night that— you know what I said the other night.” He smiled, Johnny closed his eyes. Even his lashes were pretty. “I mean it.”

“Maybe you shouldn't.”

Daniel smiled, still amazed at how the boy that presented himself and walked around like a king could be so insecure now, had been so insecure back then and masked it so well.

“Sorry to interrupt your brooding, but I think I’m old enough to decide who I get with.” He said. 

Johnny moved on the bed, making Daniel sit completely as he turned around to see him. There were tears in his eyes, and the sight of it made Daniel’s heart hurt.

“I’m sorry Kreese kept giving you shit after the tournament.” He said, Daniel felt himself frozen. “I had no idea, I thought he had left after what happened with your sensei, I—”

“It’s okay.” Daniel said quickly, thinking fast on a way to avoid it all together. When he’d been about to word vomit on Claire all that, he couldn’t believe it. Lucky for him, he’d been able to stop himself. “Not your fault!”

The man looked at him with a frown, eyes roaming around his face and Daniel’s heart started to beat fast. Johnny’s face changed to a serious expression, he moved a few inches away from him and grimaced.

“What did he do?” His voice sounded angry. Not at him, but—

The look on his face. Daniel had never seen it before.

He blinked.

“It doesn’t matter…”

“What did he do?” He asked again, louder, firmer. 

Daniel swallowed. He has never talked about this to anyone, not even Mr. Miyagi. He knew what he saw, what he asumed, what he witnessed, but the rest of it, he— it was such a stupid thing. He couldn’t even understand why he had carried it with him his entire life, why the memory awoke so much fear in him.

“He pretended to be dead.” Daniel started, Johnny frowned right away, eyes opening in disbelief. “So this one guy—Terry—“ He swallowed, then licked his lips, looking down. “Terry Silver.” The name left a metallic taste in his mouth, but Daniel tried to carry on. “He shows up one day at Mr. Miyagi’s, and…”

Somewhere between those first weeks and Mike Barnes, Johnny’s face had turned from serious and angry to straight up horrified. 

He kept quiet as Daniel told every detail he could remember for the first time, watching as Johnny tried to keep him grounded in reality with a hand over his, then caressing his cheek, and ultimately making him lay his head on his chest as he lay on the nest of pillows he had made against the bed’s headboard.

All the words got out like a river of thoughts, as if Daniel was talking to himself, remembering those months he spent discovering parts of him he wasn’t proud of. How he had felt on top of the world, thinking himself so good at Karate, wanting to defend that title for some reason—

“I guess I felt like I was going nowhere. And having that title, when I beat you, I felt—for the first time in my life, I felt… big. Important.” He blinked away tears. “People talked to me. I had something to talk about, and then it just… it defined who I was. If I didn’t have that, then I was nothing, I had nothing.”

Johnny kissed the top of his head. He had his arms around Daniel’s neck as Daniel lay on him, his back against Johnny’s chest. 

“And then these… these weird guys were harassing me about it, and it all became even more confusing—and I had this asshole in my head, telling me—telling me I was the best. And that my feelings mattered, and then he just… it slowly started to become something else.” He swallowed a sob. “And the worst part is that I liked it. I liked training with him, it made me feel good about myself, made me feel powerful.”

The man took a deep breath, taking in the scent of his hair. Johnny put a hand on his head, gently there as he held him, kissing it again.

He kept talking, unable to tell how long it had been. If Robby and Claire were home, if they were losing precious hours of sleep, or he had said the same thing a million times. It didn’t matter, Johnny let him take it all out, listened to him, until he reached the end.

“It was torture.” Daniel said. “And at first I felt great after beating Barnes. But as the months passed, nightmares came and—I couldn’t stop thinking about Terry. Couldn’t stop thinking at any given moment he was going to come back, or I was going to fall into that side again, and I just—”

Daniel choked in his own words. He jumped a little, surprised to find out he had been crying.

Since when? Why hadn’t Johnny said anything?

The man caressed his hair, waited for him to say something else, but he was dried. Daniel felt weak, between awake and asleep.

“But you didn’t.” Johnny murmured softly and so, so gently. It made Daniel’s heart hurt even more. “You were always better than them, bigger than their lies and tramps. You beat them by being yourself.”

Daniel could hear Johnny’s heart. It was beating fast, as if it wanted out his chest. He wanted to turn around and see his face, see what he was truly thinking. But Johnny kept him in his arms, kept him warm and safe, and Daniel closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

“I used to have nightmares of the parking lot.” Johnny said, Daniel blinked a couple of times. “I would wake up desperate to breathe again.” 

He hesitated, then took a deep breath. “I had his hands marked in my neck for days.” He said, the idea made Daniel’s stomach turn. He wanted to throw up. “And sometimes I still see them when I look at myself in the mirror.” He admitted. 

“I felt them so clearly when Miguel hurt Robby, when the kids were showing all the worst parts of me in that tournament— I felt them for days. I though— I’m him . All this time, I was the one choking myself.”

Daniel put both hands over Johnny’s arms, caressing them to try to give him some comfort. He sounded so hurt, part of him still feeling and thinking all this. Daniel wanted to stop him, make him see how wrong he was.

He wasn’t Kreese. He wasn’t the horrible things he lived. He wasn’t that pain and that hopeless emptiness. 

Daniel needed Johnny to know that, to understand just how much of a sun he was in his life. All the good he meant to his students, to Miguel, to Robby. He wanted him to see he was a good man, that he had the biggest heart Daniel had ever stumbled into.

And Daniel was lucky to have him.

“So I drank. I drank until I didn’t feel anything.”

“John…”

Johnny put a finger over his lips. Daniel blinked, kissed it and felt the small laugh that came out the man behind him.

“And then one day, you came into my dojo and told me my son needed me.”

Daniel stopped moving, remembering that day. He had hesitated coming in, talking to him. They weren’t friends, they weren’t anything—he had been in the middle of the storm back home, making sure Robby was safe had been his personal mission, his way to escape that hell.

He loved that kid. He really did. And now that he thought about it— Robby had brought him to Johnny.

“You were mad I was drunk.” Johnny remembered. “You made me feel miserable.”

“I—”

The finger went back to his lips. Daniel nodded.

“You said I didn’t deserve my son, nor my students. And you were right.” He said, Daniel bit his bottom lip. “So I got my shit together. I had to fight my own kid so he’ll come with me. I had to fight my easily impressed students to make them understand what they were doing was wrong. I had to fight myself, and you.”

He sighed, slowly sounding again like himself.

“That day we stumbled into each other at the store, you were with Robby. You remember it?”

“Yeah.”

“I remember looking at you with my kid, knowing you were trying to busy yourself with your dojo, and suddenly I realized that I liked that. I liked seeing you two together.” He said. 

Daniel’s stomach felt funny, like it used to when he was a teen and would look at Johnny in school. 

“I liked seeing you wearing sweatpants and your dorky shoes—” The finger was on Daniel’s lips before he could even think of complaining. “Your stupid soft hair. Your cute nose.” 

As he said it, his hand caressed his hair, traced his nose. 

“I thought oh shit. But then, you turned around and looked at me, and your eyes went this big, and you smiled—” He chuckled. “Never felt more confident in myself.”

Daniel smiled. Had he been that obvious? Or was this one of Johnny’s many superpowers over him? The man always seemed to know how he felt, what he needed.

He kissed his arm, Johnny tightened his hold around his neck.

“I haven’t had nightmares in a long time.” Johnny said. “Don’t feel those hands, don’t see them.” He sighed. “Ever since I’m here, the feeling hasn’t come to me again.”

He sighed. Daniel swallowed and nodded.

“I never told any of this to anyone.” Daniel confessed. “Not even to Mr. Miyagi. Not complete at least.”

“Won’t say anything.” Johnny assured him. “Kreese is gone. And if any of those clowns ever show their faces… I’ll fuck them up. All of them.”

Daniel laughed, a big smile appearing on his face.

“I know you will.”

He knew Johnny meant every word, Daniel knew perfectly he would. 

The man may not be able to say ‘I love you’ back just yet, but Daniel was sure.

He was so sure, he felt light in his arms as they enjoyed each other’s silence.

Day 186

The internets was evil.

Maybe not evil, it was useful sometimes and entertaining, but fuck. Not when it gave him Daniel pointing at him with an accusatory finger and all angles of his face hardened, mad at him for no reason.

“You lied to me! You said you were seeing a friend, but no, you went to see her! You could just have told me!”

Alright, one reason.

“She’s a friend!” Johnny defended. She was. Odd enough, she was. “LaRusso, come on— it’s not like anything happened. She’s married, I’m with you. I don’t do cheating!”

Something on his face changed, he looked even madder now. Johnny swallowed, cursing the moment he thought it was a good idea to send her a message last year. How was he supposed to know, anyway? That he and Daniel would end up sharing a bed?

“It’s not about that.” He said through his teeth. “You lied to me, John. And I hate that it was to see Ali! From all— fucking people in the world, it had to be Ali!”

He covered his face with both hands, rubbing hard over his closed eyes. 

“Explain to me why this is such a big deal!” Johnny asked, “She added me to the Facebook thing! We’ve been talking! What is wrong with that? Is it because she’s my ex? She’s your ex, too! You keep talking to all your exes minus her!”

“Hey!” Daniel frowned, his eyes opened wide. “Ali is the reason we have always fought! She’s what made you almost kill me twice as a kid! It’s different!”

“Kill you?” Johnny chuckled, shaking his head. “Give me a fucking break, princess.”

He passed him, getting out of the kitchen to take the stairs and escape to the bedroom.

Robby was thankfully with his mother, he didn’t deserve to hear the world’s pettiest fight and Johnny wasn’t really ready to see his son take Daniel’s side again and again. 

If he saw that today, he wasn’t sure he'd be in this house tomorrow.

“Where are you going?” Daniel followed him, Johnny didn’t answer and kept taking two steps at the time. “Johnny, we are talking!”

“No, you are screaming and doing drama for nothing. And I’m too tired to pretend I understand what your newest freak out is about.”

He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have done a lot of things in his life, but fucking up was a lot like him, and Johnny was too tired to stop himself from saying the worst things that came to mind. 

Like many times before, he shut down his mind and walked away, leaving Daniel behind until he was in the comfort of their room.

It was a ridiculous place to hide, this was actually Daniel’s, everything good in his life was Daniel’s or was brought in by him. Even his relationship with Robby, even his sudden bravery to talk to Ali last year.

He sat down on his side of the bed with closed eyes, listening as the door opened and the saddest steps were heard. The door closed and Johnny sighed, opening his eyes and waiting for whatever else the man had to say.

“I just want to know why you didn’t tell me it was Ali you were seeing.” He said. His voice sounded small, broken, and he didn’t want to see what it looked like. Daniel was keeping his distance, so Johnny didn’t turn. “Because—you always tell me where you’re going and with who. I just don’t understand what’s different here.”

After a while, Johnny licked his lips and finally talked. “I wanted to see her.”

Daniel must have let his arms hang to his sides, he heard clothes move and nothing else.

“If I’d told you, you would have probably either wanted to come or… do this scene.”

There was a long pause in which he almost turned to see if the man was still in the room. Instead, he heard his steps come a little bit closer.

“Why?” He asked, there was a lot of apprehension in there. 

Johnny swallowed. “I don’t know.” He said. It was in part true. “We haven’t seen each other in a long time, talking to her all these months was… good. There was a lot I wanted to tell her.”

“And you couldn’t tell me?”

He smiled a little, shaking his head as he finally turned. Daniel was standing on the other side of the room, arms crossed. His hands were hidden under his arms and Johnny knew they were fisting his fancy shirt. He looked… 

“No.” 

Devastated.

“Why?” He insisted.

“Daniel, I needed to talk to her. That’s all.” He looked away again, right into his shoes. Johnny took them off. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you. We had lunch and we talked. She asked about my mother and Sid, I asked about her parents.” He swallowed. “We’ve been busier than ever, all fucking small talk you can think of. And then we just… there was a lot to say.”

“Oh yeah?” He was sounding angry again, Johnny bit his bottom lip.

“Yes.” He said, taking off his socks before standing and turning around. Daniel had walked a few inches closer, still putting distance between them. “Fuck, that was like… an hour and a half of lunch and talk. After that, all we talked about was you.” He finally said, heart hammering in his chest. “Because, apparently, I don’t talk about anything else anymore!”

Daniel seemed surprised but said nothing, he kept his stand of being angry and demanding answers. Johnny sighed, shaking his head as he walked into the bathroom. All he wanted was to take a nap, have Daniel shut up for once.

If he were the one getting like this every time Daniel talked to any woman ever, to his ex-wife, the man wouldn’t be having none of his shit. 

But Daniel’s insecurities were buried deep into his being, rooted in his heart and hidden by his dashing smile and positive attitude. So when they came out, they came out in yells and angry stares.

He wanted a fight, and Johnny wasn’t going to give it to him. Not anymore.

If he wanted to survive all these screams and confusing moments of their still new thing, maybe Johnny should start by being honest. Carmen had told him once to be the better man, step away when he knew he could do something he would regret, stop this madness.

They had always yelled and spit on each other’s faces, had never stopped to think and understand the other in spite of being parallel lines in so many aspects of their lives, Johnny couldn’t help but think maybe all his life there was an invisible string joining him to Daniel.

Somehow, someday, they would end up in this room, and whatever he did now would change things for the better. Or for the worse.

He put both hands up on the bathroom’s door’s frame as he sighed deeply.

“Ali was… look, if there was someone I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, that was Ali.” He said. Daniel’s face became harder, his jaw tensing. “Losing her was the start of everything that went wrong with my life and I never let go of it. Never!”

Daniel turned, walking fast towards the door. Johnny threw back his head with a sigh, getting out of the bathroom to follow him.

“You live in the fucking past!” Daniel yelled going out of their room.

Johnny shook his head. “So do you, asshole!” He said, Daniel turned around at the top of the stairs. “Don’t give me that fuckery when you know I’m right! And you know that’s also probably why we are together because none of us know anything else!”

He should have never said that.

“Fuck you!” Daniel said, quickly going down the stairs. “Go fuck yourself! Get out of my house!”

Johnny shook his head, going down the stairs as he tried to think fast. What had he done? What was he supposed to do now? Apologize for having lunch with someone he had no feelings for?

He’d been happy to find out today as he saw her enter the restaurant, that even though he could recognize her anywhere and she was as beautiful as ever, she was just some girl he used to know. 

When he came into the house, he had thought of telling Daniel, sharing with him how free he felt after realizing all that longing and sad nights filled with alcohol and memories of a girl that had loved him in spite of his flaws were finally over.

That all he could think of as Ali told him of how she met her husband was that late November last year while it was raining, the way Daniel had looked up at him and the artificial light of the mini-mall’s parking lot made his eyes shine in the dark, as they waited for the rain to calm outside the closed dojo.

He had thought of his face and his soft voice as he spoke, “You don’t need to protect me” , and how he had smiled. Half sad, half hopeful as he said, “But what if we stay together?”

Daniel had been tipsy, sad out of his mind with all that was happening with his divorce and the separation with his children. He had come in, looking for Johnny to fight just like today, but instead Johnny had offered him water and a shoulder to cry on if he needed.

He’d been so sure back then that all he wanted was for Daniel to be his annoyingly happy self again, and after hearing him say those words he knew all that flirting and those stolen moments when they would look at each other was not what they used to say it was.

It was no anger, no rivalry, no jealousy or resentment, none of that, nothing of the past.

“Yeah” , he had answered. 

Their lives had been interlocked once again thirty years later, that invisible string finally becoming visible. Johnny had said yes to all of it, and November 24th suddenly had a meaning.

So this shit right now, as Daniel walked around the living room in anger, better meant something too.

“I didn’t mean that…” Johnny said, it didn’t stop Daniel at all. “Fine.” He cleared his throat. “I needed to see her to make sure it wasn’t true. You said…” Words stumbled suddenly, Daniel stopped walking but didn’t turn back. “You said that before, that I live in the past and—”

“You do.”

“Right, I do…” Johnny sighed. Why was it suddenly so difficult to talk? Daniel wasn’t even looking at him. “But you do, too. You can’t just throw at my face shit you are into, too.”

The man said nothing, Daniel had a terrible track record admitting his mistakes and his faults. But it was fine, Johnny understood it, could see it clear as day— he could see Daniel so well, and now that he was sure this was the real deal, he had no intention to lose him for something so stupid.

If he had to talk, then he’ll try his damn best. Johnny was an expert on trying.

“Look, nothing was gonna change if I stayed like that. I needed to talk to her because for years she’s been in the back of my mind and you are right, I need to move on.”

The man said nothing. He reminded himself what Claire had said, it wasn’t about the prize and being congratulated for doing the right thing— it was about doing it for himself.

He had a good thing with Daniel, closing wounds and other doors needed to happen.

“That said, I’m proud as fuck. Now just please tell that clueless man you’ve been talking with Ali, don’t keep secret good things that may look bad!”

Johnny blinked. He should have listened to his sister.

“I’m sorry you found out I was with her like this.” Johnny started. “I didn’t know she was going to put it on her page.” He said. “But I was going to tell you anyway.”

“Yeah?” He said, sounding hurt. “Then why didn't you?”

“I told you already!” Johnny sighed, walking closer to him. “Daniel, you’ve nothing to worry about.” He said. Daniel’s right foot was moving so fast where he stood. If he kept watching it, Johnny was sure to get dizzy. “I wanted to know what I would feel when seeing her… and nothing happened. I didn’t feel anything I was so sure last year I felt.”

Slowly, Daniel turned around but didn’t look at him at all. 

“All I could think about was you.” He swallowed, his stomach was made into knots and Johnny wasn’t sure if he could keep talking without throwing up. “I mean it when I said that after catching up and… talking about us, all we talked about was you.”

“How?” Daniel frowned, finally looking at him. “How did that come up?”

Oh fuck . Johnny swallowed.

“Because I told her…” He answered in a murmur. “I told her about us.”

Daniel’s eyes opened wide. “What? I mean—I—“

“Because you’re my partner.” Johnny said, feeling his shoulders tense. He stood firm in all his height, right in front of Daniel. His voice wasn’t sounding so weak anymore. “And she asked me about the guy I live with.”

Daniel’s jaw moved, he was probably chewing on his tongue. Both of his hands were on his hips. Slowly, Daniel looked up at him again, firm and serious.

“Don’t lie to me again.”

“Okay.” Johnny said, he still had a knot in his throat. “Don’t welcome me with screams again.”

Daniel nodded, looking guilty. “Yeah, okay…”

He took a deep breath, taking a step towards Daniel as the man got closer. He hugged him strong, closing his eyes as he breathed in his shampoo and scent. He smelled like home.

“You gotta understand I’m with you, man.” Johnny murmured against his hair. “I’m with you.”

Daniel had many demons. He wasn’t one to admit it, let alone talk and fight back his insecurities. He had grown up to become Mr. Has It All, and as such he could never let it be shown that he’d been lonely his entire life, never held before.

So Johnny held him, let him be a drama queen when he needed, and then held him the rest of the night.

Day 223

When the kids left, Daniel cried.

All these months together, he tried to avoid crying in front of Johnny. He tried his best not to think of that night when Claire was around, when he hadn’t even noticed that he’d been crying.

But Sam had chosen her mother to take her to college and it was too soon for them to get together for more than two hours, let alone travel again.

He had gone to the airport alone to say goodbye, promised to keep track of the truck with Sam’s selected things, paid for most of it, and showed himself with a big smile and hugs for her until he couldn’t see his family anymore once they crossed the line.

In the house, he heard Johnny and Shannon actually laugh together as they teased their son on surprise visits to the place he’ll be renting with Demetri and a roommate they had contacted a month ago. 

He watched them saying their kid was going to better places than them, how proud they were, how much shit they were gonna give him if he ruined this, the way Robby just looked at them with annoyance but a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

The woman smiled at Daniel every time their eyes crossed, Johnny went as far as to kiss him on the cheek before leaving the house once they had everything. The boy was to live far from them, closer to campus, but still here.

Robby had chosen college near home, actually said he wanted to because for the first time his parents were with him, had friends he wanted to keep, had the luck to find a college that suited his needs and was close enough to allow him seeing everybody without having to buy a ticket to home.

It was… strange. To feel jealous of this. But he did.

He wasn’t truly aware of the time, but soon Robby was sending pictures to the group, showing the progress of the apartment and happy faces all around. Daniel answered with emojis, as he put off the TV and told Alexa to put music.

Anything just to have some noise as he was alone for the afternoon.

By the time Sam let him know they had arrived well, Johnny was also texting him, reminding him that he should have gone with them. As always, the man had tried to include him in these big milestones, but Daniel had felt like an invasor even now, and politely declined.

Seeing it now, he wouldn’t have been of much help anyway, as he felt like falling apart every second now.

He went around doing little things, cleaning and changing stuff, skipping songs and reminding himself that he should eat, then deciding he wouldn’t if he wasn’t hungry, until finally, the front door opened and Johnny came in looking exhausted.

Night had fallen. The house was in complete darkness except for the light coming from the stairs, and Johnny froze in his place when he saw Daniel standing in the semi-dark. He must have looked like a dying man, since his partner’s shoulders tensed.

“Hey,” he said, walking slowly towards him after leaving his wallet and keys on the little table Daniel kept near the door. “Thought you were asleep.”

“Uhm.” He tried to smile, and whatever he did, didn't convince Johnny of nothing. “How’s Robby?”

“When I left, all they had installed was a TV and the Playstation.” 

Daniel chuckled, shaking his head. “They’ll be fine, then.”

“Yeah.” He said, finally in front of Daniel. “What about Sam?”

“She’s okay.” Daniel murmured. “Sent me some pictures of her room, said her roommate seems nice. She and Aisha have already installed, had dinner with both their roommates…  her mother and Anthony will spend the weekend there.”

Johnny nodded, as if he didn’t know this already. It was all Daniel talked about the last two weeks. 

But he let him talk, let him do whatever he needed.

He had accompanied Carmen and Rosa to leave Miguel to his dorm, another kid that had chosen college near home, just the day before. Johnny looked genuinely tired, should let Daniel wander in his misery and simply go to sleep.

Instead, he put a hand on his face and caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“Did you eat something?” Daniel shook his head. “Why don’t we—”

“I’m not hungry.” He murmured. “Can you—” Daniel stopped, cleared his throat and hoped his voice sounded better now. “Let’s just… sit. Please.”

Johnny didn’t answer, only moved his hand from Daniel’s face to his waist, walking with him into the living room where they sat down on the larger couch. He sighed as Daniel sank into it with his feet on the coffee table he had told Johnny and Robby to not sit or put his feet on. Johnny said nothing about it and only put his head on Daniel’s lap with eyes closed.

80s music kept on as they laid there without words between them, just Daniel’s fingers on Johnny’s hair, the day over them like a grey sky.

Their kids were gone.

Daniel still had Anthony, but not really. The boy was still keeping his distance even if less, and soon he’ll grow up too and stop being his baby. 

For the first time, Daniel and Johnny were genuinely alone in the house. And something about it, even thought he loved benign here, he loved the man resting his head on his lap, he loved their lives together— something just didn’t sit right.

He swallowed a sob, putting his free hand on his mouth as he tried to calm down. But it was too late, the tears were going down his face, his chest contracted with every little sob, and he could feel Johnny moving from where he’d been resting.

Without a word, Johnny held him gently by the shoulders, making Daniel look at him. He could see his worrisome, the way he was trying to find a way to help, and it all only made him cry harder. 

Johnny swallowed visibly, opting for gently crushing him between his strong biceps and his chest, and Daniel melted against him, crying on his shirt.

There was only music and his sobs, then just them.

Only the slow up and down of Johnny’s chest, the soft pants coming from Daniel’s mouth as he calmed down little by little. His eyes opened to the dark, but for the first time he didn’t feel the need to get the lights on, clean up, and pretend nothing had happened.

He let the rhythm of Johnny’s heart lull him into tranquility, let their breathes be in sync again, as the world cleared slowly. 

Only then, he realized Johnny was talking—no, he was singing. Humming, a few words coming in between, as he rocked them softly on their couch.

A few nights ago, Daniel had joked with Jimmy he’ll marry his friend just to make him dance in the party. He had taken the joke as far as to name a song for it, and Johnny hadn’t heard him at all because he’d been busy with Bobby and Robby in the kitchen.

Yet, here he was. Singing the same stupid REO Speedwagon song he had chosen for no reason at all.

… I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

Daniel took a deep intake of air and separated from Johnny a little, looking up at his face.

He blinked, frowning as his hands went immediately to his face. Daniel dried the tears there with his thumbs, trying to find the words to ask, something to say because John had been so good to him for months and months, and sometimes it—

Johnny leaned his forehead on his, closing his eyes. Another tear ran down his cheek, Daniel catched it with his fingers right away.

… I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Like many times before, nobody said a word. He realized they didn’t have to sometimes, and so Daniel breathed in and out, and closed the distance between their lips, softly kissing his partner as the song surrounded them into their own world.

His fingers ached to play with something, Daniel found himself getting them through Johnny’s hair as the man laid down on the couch with him on top.

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

The song was over, but they kept making out on the couch lazily, without a care of the world. 

Music continued to accompany them as he gently moved his hips over Johnny’s, pleased to feel him hard against him, swallowing the moan he let out at the sensation.

He made a couple of experimental movements, thrusting his hips just so until he was moaning softly against Johnny’s lips.

Daniel blinked, looking down at his partner as he rhythmically moved over him, breathing harder with each slow snap of his hips, fascinated with how much this alone was making them feel.

He wanted more, though. 

Earlier, when he’d been alone and feeling miserable, Daniel had indulged himself a little. Tried to poorly imitate how being with Johnny made him feel while taking a shower, and as he came with a whine, he had realized he could only do so much.

There was no comparison to this.

To the way just looking into his eyes, feeling his touch in his body even through clothes, made Daniel feel undone, loved as if he was brand new.

Johnny was sitting on the couch again as Daniel took down his pants and boxers. He could feel his eyes on him as he went back to straddle his hips, hands on his shoulders.

The man put both hands on his waist, guiding him into position, and Daniel would like to know what he had planned then, but right now he had other ideas in mind.

“Wait—“ Johnny tried to stop him, Daniel shook his head as he took Johnny’s cock in one hand and guided it inside him. “Oh…”

He couldn’t help but smile at his surprise, the way he blinked slowly and watched as Daniel sank on his cock. 

“You…?” He trailed off, Daniel leaned his forehead on his and closed his eyes, nodding.

Daniel couldn’t help the content sigh he let out once Johnny was all the way inside him. It had dragged a little, almost an hour had gone by since he showered. But the little burn and pain only made him feel more grounded.

He wanted this, the feeling of fullness, the way Johnny was pulsing inside him.

It had all been so new back when everything was a first. But Daniel had liked this since that December morning when it first happened, and now he wanted to enjoy it.

His cheeks were burning. “Missed you earlier.” 

Daniel wondered if Johnny could see the way he was blushing in the semi-dark.

“Oh.” Johnny’s hands held him firmer, he was probably eager for him to move but Daniel remained still. “Daniel…”

“No, please—“ He wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck. “Just a second. I want—I want to— I just want to feel you.”

Johnny put a hand in the bottom of his back, slowly moving it in circles as Daniel sighed happily, feeling full. The man said nothing, but he didn’t move, didn’t seem to mind him and this—

His hand went up and down gently on his back, and Daniel sighed, hiding his face between Johnny’s neck and shoulder, enjoying the calm and the music.

Daniel wasn’t sure for how long they stayed like that, but there in that moment— he felt held, cared for in a way he never did before. 

For the first time, he simply enjoyed it, accepted his blessings and defeats, and felt happy as he was.

Johnny pecked his lips several times. Daniel had basically melted against him, both in uncomfortable positions for God knows how long until Johnny was going soft inside him.

He kissed him, sloppy like it was Sunday morning and they had just woken up. He felt Johnny twitch inside him and Daniel let out a moan, moving his hips in circles.

The man took a deep breath in his neck, filled it with kisses and hickies, biting a little until Daniel was moaning, moving his hips faster.

He put both hands on Johnny’s shoulders, slowly going up, making him bottom out almost completely, then going down slower, both of them moaning against each other’s mouth.

Johnny held him by the waist, guiding him up and down, slowing him down until Daniel got the idea. He put his forehead against his again, looking into his eyes as Johnny started to thrust into him.

They moved together, swallowing each other’s moans and sighs in the semi-dark until they reached that point almost together.

Daniel wasn’t sure who got there first. All he knew was that Johnny held him and indulged his strangest needs without judging. 

Whatever may come after, Daniel wanted Johnny to be with him in every step. 

He wanted them to make it, be forevermore.

Day 245

Daniel’s kid came to the house one weekend and something changed.

Anthony watched them both go through their usual lives in the house, silently looking at Johnny every time he moved from room to room as he searched for something to do that didn’t involve being in close proximity to the kid.

Johnny had nothing against him. He was funny sometimes, a headache for sure, but still Daniel’s boy and there was a lot of his father in him, things Johnny liked to find as he realized his partner had no idea of them.

There wasn’t much to do for him without Robby and Miguel, or any of the kids from the advanced class since all were now in college. He missed them all, Johnny couldn’t believe just how attached he had become to all of them.

His phone made a sound.

Johnny took it from the night stand, leaving the book he had taken from Daniel’s side of the bed to look at the screen. He had a text from Samantha.

Frowning, Johnny opened the chat and a picture popped up.

It was the girl in what looked like a zoo, making the peace sign with one hand and signaling to a glass tank with the other. Johnny blinked, looked at the animal she was pointing at: a beautiful king cobra.

He smiled, writing back when something else appeared on screen. She had written, “his name is JOHNathan!” and then, another picture popped. This time, it was Aisha posing with her fist up in front of the snake, and a message that read “REPRESENTING” .

Johnny laughed, waiting to see if anything else appeared. Another picture came of the two of them with their faces way too close to the tank and their tongues out, Jonathan the king cobra had its tongue out too.

He wondered how many times they had tried to take that picture.

“Nice. That’s a badass guy” , he wrote to her and she answered with a happy-blushy face thing Daniel had called emojis.

He smiled, sighing as he exited the chat to check the groups he had Robby silence for him long ago, when Daniel entered the room like a man on fire.

“He’s staying,” Daniel told him, looking pale, “Amanda is going out and doesn’t want him to be alone in the house.”

“Okay.” Johnny blinked. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” Daniel swallowed visibly. “I don’t know…”

He laughed, the man looked at him with a frown and it only made him laugh louder. He shook his head and stood, kissing Daniel’s jaw once he was in front of him.

“It’s going to be okay.” Johnny said. “Stop stressing over this shit, he’s your son.”

“Yeah, but— I don’t know.” He repeated. “What should we get for dinner? Wait, no. I’m going to cook.” 

He walked away, talking to himself as he usually did when he was nervous or excited. Johnny watched him list aloud everything he needed for whatever favorite the kid had, he shook his head as the man went out the room again, then smiled.

They had dinner awkwardly, silent at first until Daniel got his kid talking. 

Johnny remained quiet, looking between them and only talking when Daniel spoke to him. He could feel Anthony’s eyes on him every now and then, and not for the first time, Johnny thought of telling Daniel maybe he should not be in the house while his son was around.

But Daniel was right. He had to get used to it.

He was tired of self-loathing and self-sabotaging.

What he had with Daniel was good, he had finally done something right. 

For a long time Johnny felt like he never learned, burning bridges and trusting the wrong people every time, but Daniel was something good born from those bad decisions and, somehow, the man had wanted Johnny back.

The boy said nothing to him, he stood from the table and washed his dishes himself. For the surprise in Daniel’s face, Johnny knew it was an uncommon thing. Whatever Amanda was doing to keep this kid in his place was working.

“Where am I going to sleep?” Anthony asked.

Daniel looked at him with a little panicked expression for a second, then back at his son. “Robby’s room, of course.”

“Okay.” He said. “I’ll be upstairs then.”

“That’s his room now, isn’t it?” Johnny asked Daniel, he saw the kid stop from the corner of his eye. “Robby has his own place now, so… it’s the kid’s room.”

They talked about this back in January before he moved. That the room that was Robby’s was to be shared with Anthony if the kid ever wanted to stay, since the other extra room was Samantha’s and she should have her own space. Sharing between boys was easy.

His son wouldn’t be here for a while, especially since once he came for the Winter break, it would be Shannon’s time with him and he’d stay in her place. 

So. The room was now Anthony’s only.

“Uh. Yeah, I guess…” Daniel murmured.

“Okay.” Anthony said again, sounding more like a kid at his father’s house and less like an awkward kid at his father’s workplace. “I’ll be in my room!” He announced, running up the stairs as if it was Christmas.

“Damn.” Daniel said, Johnny could tell he was smiling for his tone alone. 

He looked at Daniel and found him grinning like an idiot. 

“You just made his night.”

“He has the cool room now, of course he’s happy.” Johnny said, smiling at the man when he looked at him. “Good?”

“Yeah.”

They cleaned up, locked the front door and made sure everything was in its place. The lights went off, and both walked upstairs together, talking about what fun things Daniel and Anthony could do the next day until they reached their room.

Johnny changed to his pajamas as Daniel took the bathroom, he followed him inside to take a piss as the man kept talking of the day and the plans he had for the next one.

If everything could just be like this, god, life would be so good.

He gave him a loud kiss on the neck as the man moved to one side to give him space in front of the sink. He washed his hands as Daniel cleaned his teeth, then took his toothbrush and did the same.

They washed their teeth together, looking to themselves in the mirror, taking turns to spit and clean their toothbrushes. And once he was done, Johnny looked up to find Daniel smiling at him with big shining eyes.

Johnny blinked.

“I love you, John.” 

He blinked again. Daniel’s capacity of leaving him speechless was… well.

Johnny licked his lips, swallowing as he looked at Daniel’s lips before putting a hand on his jaw. The man was still smiling and Johnny had to peck that smile before talking.

“Why are you always calling me John ?” He asked, Daniel laughed. “Come on, nobody calls me that. Hell, not even my mother called me that.”

“That’s why!” Daniel cradled his face with both hands. They were cold after the water. “No one calls you by your name, so…”

“Sooooo?” He arched an eyebrow. For the way Daniel’s cheeks were turning pink, there was more to it than he thought.

It always made him feel a certain way when he did so. There was something unique in the way Daniel called him, it was as if nobody else was allowed to know his name, as if it had power over him like in the fairytales he read as a child.

“I just want to be the only one…”

This man.

This unbelievable man.

Johnny bit his tongue but wasn’t able to stop the smile from coming. Daniel smiled back at him, caressing the hair in his nape before kissing him softly. They tasted of cold mint, just about to get into bed after a long day of awkwardly going around Daniel’s boy.

But Daniel was happy. 

It had been a while since Johnny saw him this animated about anything, full of life as he had always been. He couldn’t help but deepen the kiss, savoring that sunshine he had missed from his every day his entire life until now that he had him.

“You’re the only one.”

Daniel bit his bottom lip in that coquettish way he knew drove Johnny crazy. He kissed him again, pushing his body against Johnny’s as his fingers roamed freely through his hair. Daniel tugged slightly on it, making Johnny open his mouth bigger, swallowing Daniel’s moan and all his hunger.

With his kid around, they wouldn’t risk being heard or worse, interrupted. Johnny knew it was not happening tonight—and he was alright with that. He was more than okay with this, with having this man in his arms, kiss him all night if he could.

But it was time for bed and the man kept kissing him as if his life depended on it, as if he was being paid to do so, making Johnny laugh as he laid on the bed with Daniel basically on top of him, kissing his lips and every bit of skin he could get without moving much.

He couldn’t remember the last time he was this playful or a partner had been like this with him, he couldn’t remember laughing this much under covers and making forts in a room that was theirs, in a house they ruled.

Daniel smiled at him with his head nested in the space between his shoulder and neck, sighing dreamily as they settled into comfortable silence.

Just this once, though, Johnny wanted to break it.

He looked down at his partner and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you.” 

Day 287

Every time Johnny’s friends were brought up in conversation, Daniel felt a little lost.

On the one hand, he had been once afraid of them and on the other, these men were like Johnny’s family, and meeting the family of a partner was always something . 

This time, for him, he met them older and on a very different scenario than when they had been kids.

It all had turned out for the best.

Like him, the boys had grown up and had lives of their own. Catching up with them felt like part of who Daniel was nowadays, and he couldn’t help but return Robby’s little smile that first night they all went for dinner, so many months ago.

Yet—

“Shit, man. This place’s so clean, I don’t wanna even sit! What if I get something dirty?”

Having Dutch in the house, that was something else entirely.

“Don’t be stupid, just sit down.” Johnny said, moving towards the kitchen as Dutch did a whole show of sitting in one of the couches.

They had been finishing eating dinner when they heard someone at the door, knocking loudly and making them both look at each other. Robby had his own key, it was a weekday and the boy wouldn’t visit without first calling. 

They didn’t get many visitors, especially not during dinner, and both had been weirded out before Johnny attended the call.

When he heard the loud voice, Daniel stayed put in the kitchen, unsure of if it was a good idea to get out. He walked slowly to the entrance and watched as his partner walked his friend in.

It had been way too long since Daniel last saw David Dutch.

Johnny looked at him as he walked into the kitchen. When their eyes met, Daniel tried to smile but whatever his mouth did got his partner arching an eyebrow while walking past him. 

He got beers from the freezer, giving Daniel the chance to say anything but nothing came out in spite of how tense the silence was.

“He just showed up.” Johnny said instead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s your house too.” Daniel assured him, unable to tell why he was so nervous. Then, “Does he—does he know?”

Johnny bit his bottom lip, looking at nowhere in particular as he got the bottles open. Daniel sighed loudly before the man looked him in the eyes again.

“I don’t know.” He said, sounding awkward. “I mean, he knows I… that . But I don’t know if anyone mentioned this,” he signaled between them with his hand, “to him.”

“You didn’t tell him.” Daniel nodded, a cold feeling pooling in the bottom of his back. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Uh, why?”

Johnny looked at him for long seconds, grabbing the drinks in one hand and walking towards the door slowly.

“Have you told everyone ?” He asked before leaving.

“No…” Daniel answered to no one once alone. In fact he had told no one but his mother. The kids and Amanda had to know by default, but... 

He let his arms down before walking to the entrance in silence, thinking of sneaking to the stairs and wait for the other man to leave. Daniel heard them talk outside, Dutch asking for Robby and telling Johnny of his own kids he didn’t see at all. 

Daniel shook his head, trying hard to understand why John was still friends with this man after all the shit he and the boys shared with him— he wasn’t exactly the best of friends, let alone the best of people.

Johnny was sitting on the coffee table, Daniel rolled his eyes as he thought of how many times he had told him and Robby not to sit there; he could see Dutch sitting in front, his back to Daniel. He stayed at the kitchen’s entrance, looking at the two men sharing a beer in his living room.

“So where’s the boyfriend ?” Dutch asked, making Daniel’s back tense but he didn’t step back into the kitchen. 

The way he had said that word… Johnny flinched, frowning a little. He must have felt it, too. It was as if he was making fun of the fact that his friend was into men, sharing his life and this house with a guy, as if their relationship was a joke. 

“I wanna meet the boyfriend! Everyone talks about him but no one actually tells me shit!” He said, looking around the living room in search of signs of someone else in the house.

Johnny swallowed visibly, looking at the kitchen where he found him standing, half hiding. They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds, and like many times before, he just knew what John was thinking.

He stepped in, Johnny’s shoulders tensed but he didn’t stop him.

“Actually,” Johnny said as he looked away from Daniel, Dutch looked at him as he drank from his bottle, “about that…” 

Daniel cleared his throat, willing his legs to move normal and walk towards the blonde sitting on his expensive coffee table that was not for sitting. Dutch watched as he got closer until he was right in front of him.

It all happened quickly. 

Johnny put a hand on the small of his back, Dutch watched it happen as he took a sip of his beer, his eyes opening wide as he realized what it all meant and who was right in front of him. 

He spat the beer into their living room, both him and Johnny looking at the mess in their recently cleaned floor. 

Like a freaking cartoon.

“Karate Kid!” Dutch pointed at him with the same hand he was holding the bottle in, making more beer spill into the floor. 

Daniel felt a headache coming. Johnny groaned at his side, standing after leaving his own bottle on the floor.

“LaRusso!” Dutch said, eyes still wide open. “That’s LaRusso! Johnny, that’s—!”

“Shit, you’re so fucking dumb…” Johnny murmured, shaking his head at Daniel’s side.

“Oh!” The man finally understood. “ Ooooooooh !” His eyes opened wildly, genuinely like a cartoon. “No fucking way!”

The few seconds it took the man to recover, Daniel felt them like a lifetime as his heart beat so fast, he was sure they could hear it.

But Johnny hadn’t taken away his hand. It was still gently on his back, firm and real. Whatever may happen right now, Johnny was with him and nothing his friend said could change that.

“HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!”

As Johnny sat down again, closer to the table’s edge and farther from the spilled beer and Dutch, Daniel wondered if he could run for his supplies and clean while Johnny tried his best to tell the story. But before he could excuse himself, Johnny was tugging on his belt, handling him until he was sitting at his side on the table.

Soon, he found himself talking too. Dutch looked more lost and confused with every word, with every moment one of them would interrupt the other telling their version of what had happened, laughing between them before remembering they had someone else in front.

By the time they were done, Dutch seemed more confused than ever but didn’t say anything else about it for the rest of the visit, though he looked… Daniel wasn’t sure. He had disbelief in his eyes, shock all over his face.

Was this so bad? He swallowed. 

Johnny and him had a long history, were still working on their issues and making up for thirty years of being morons. Dutch could think whatever, Daniel wasn’t about to give a fuck about him.

Two beers later, Dutch and Johnny were at the door saying goodnight. Daniel stood a few steps behind, watching them from inside the house.

“Sorry to come unannounced, I was just passing by and thought—”

“It’s fine, asshole.”

There was no way he was just passing by, Daniel was sure Johnny knew this too. He had come on purpose, curious about them, and not for the first time tonight, Daniel wondered if later the man would be a jerk about it. But for now, he lifted his hand to Daniel as a goodbye, and he smiled in return, nodding to him.

“You took that fuck Daniel LaRusso thing way too literal, uh?” Dutch said, Daniel’s stomach felt heavy.

“Dutch—”

“I mean, good!” The man said. “Weird, but that’s like… the ultimate win!” Johnny pushed Dutch, the man was still laughing but Johnny’s entire body language had changed. “Once you’re over with that, we should—“

“Once I’m over with what?” Johnny asked, Daniel looked away. He shouldn’t be listening to this, he should just… get away. “Look, man. I know you’ve always been uncomfortable with this,”

“I’m not! I’m not!”

“But I’m not just screwing this guy, alright? We live together, it’s as serious as it can get.”

“Why?” Dutch was frowning, there was something akin to disgust in his face. “You hate that fag—”

“Don’t!” Johnny pushed him harder this time, Daniel moved when he saw Dutch’s face change. He looked like he was about to hit Johnny. “You should leave.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He sounded angry, angrier than Daniel had heard him in a while. “You don’t get to insult him in our house, you don’t get to insult him ever or I swear, I’m going to kick your ass. Go away.”

“This is ridiculous, you can’t be seriously thinking to settle for that bitch. This is a joke!”

Johnny pushed him again, Dutch frowned. “Don’t call him that! Look… Call it what you want.” Johnny said, Daniel’s heart beat faster. “It’s not gonna change what it is. I’m with him, this is our house. You get used to it or you fuck off.”

His nose burned. Daniel put both hands on his face, rubbing his eyes as he turned to walk back into the kitchen. If the men said anything else, he didn’t hear; he was too busy looking for the supplies to clean the living room to care.

He came out with them, hearing as Johnny sighed tiredly, then the door closed. 

The first time he went out with the boys, Daniel had prepared himself for the worst case scenario where this happened, where insults would be said and fights would be fought. 

For it, they had chosen a family restaurant because the wives and kids were going too, the idea was that the presence of the kids would make them stay as civil as possible. It had all gone well, it would have even if the kids weren’t around.

Unlike that first time, this had felt like a home invasion. 

They weren’t ready, even if it had gone perfectly fine up until the end. 

He cleaned the spilled beer like licking his wounds, thinking and overthinking something to say to the man quietly looking at him. Daniel could feel his eyes, his own nervous and still angry demeanor, the clashing feelings and thoughts in him.

Dutch was one of his oldest friends, Daniel didn’t expect Johnny to simply cut all relation to him because of this, because of him. They were grown ass men, they all could fucking behave—

Daniel opened his mouth without looking back, then closed it while turning around. Johnny walked towards him with an unbothered expression.

Fake unbothered expression, the mask he put on every time they should probably be talking about their feelings and conflicts.

“Maybe…” He cleared his throat, his voice had come out too small and dry. “Maybe we should talk about this to people… like it’s normal. You know?”

Daniel blinked a couple of times, suddenly very aware of how much of a secret this had become in spite of being together for almost a year. 

This thing without a name, that bothered his son so much, that had his mother not talking to him for a month until a movie made her change her mind instead of her son.

He nodded, looking down. “Yeah.”

“I mean, there’s still gonna be… people like Dutch, but…” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just tired of the surprise.”

It almost felt like I’m tired of this , so Daniel nodded again without saying a word.

“Hey,” he put a hand on his cheek, Daniel looked up and melted into his touch. Johnny was looking at him with that little smile, The Daniel Smile. “New rule. We don’t open the door after dinner.”

“No? And if it’s an emergency?”

“From who?” He frowned. “If they have something to tell us, that’s why the phone exists.”

Daniel laughed, shaking his head while wrapping his arms around Johnny’s middle. “Alright, we don’t open the door after dinner.”

“It’s probably Dutch anyway.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “That was…”

“Mhmm…” Johnny traced his ear with the tip of his fingers. “I don’t think we’ll see him any time soon. Maybe never.”

“I’m—” Daniel swallowed. “I’m sorry. I know he’s your friend, Johnny. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He kissed his forehead, Daniel closed his eyes with a smile. “He’s an asshole.” Johnny said against his skin. “He can die mad about it… I finally did something right, whoever doesn’t like it can fuck off.”

Without hesitation, Daniel hugged him. He felt Johnny shake while laughing but didn’t let him go either, holding him tight in silence.

Call it what you want , it echoed in Daniel’s head. Call it what you want, I’m with him .

Day 300

Robby came by more than Johnny expected. 

He liked to be around and have dinner with them some weekends, even take his girlfriend along and stay when Daniel’s little demon of a son stayed too.

So, it wasn’t really a surprise when the boy and Moon showed up on Halloween night dressed up as Star Wars characters, ready to give out candies to the neighbor’s kids and watch horror movies Daniel couldn’t really take.

“How serious do you think this is?” Daniel asked him as they filled bowls of popcorn and candies in the kitchen, Robby was busy setting up the TV and all. “Robby and Moon.”

Johnny shrugged. “Look… they are always together as if none has anything better to do, but unlike the other morons I see every day,” Johnny looked at him, gesturing outside the kitchen, “my son takes whatever is happening there serious enough to sit down and have dinner not only with us but his mother, and Moon’s parents.”

“So, pretty serious?”

He sighed. “Probably.”

“What about Miguel and Sam?” He asked, Johnny bit the inside of his cheek. This was a trick. 

“She hasn’t told you anything?” Johnny said. The best way to avoid whatever was happening between those two was to bring it to where it counted: has the girl actually shared any information worth the talk? 

“No.” Daniel answered, already sounding disappointed.

“Well, Miguel hasn’t said anything either, so why worry?”

“They are always talking about each other...” Daniel insisted, Johnny did his best to not roll his eyes.

Instead, he took the bowl with popcorn and the one with chips outside. 

He heard his partner giggle, and Johnny shook his head. Whatever fixation Daniel had of making him uncomfortable with his constant gossiping of the teens’ life was becoming more and more common.

Maybe he should stop letting these children ask him for advice, as if he actually knew shit about relationships.

They sat down to watch something Robby had promised would scare the shit out of everyone in the house, Daniel discretely moved closer to him, and Johnny laughed as he turned on the couch, laying his head on Daniel’s lap.

All through the movie, he felt Daniel jump at every sound and weird face the woman made. Moon had ended up practically sitting on Robby’s lap as they were on the floor, the boy laughing every time she did a show to cover her eyes and wish none of the most gory scenes were happening.

It was an interesting movie, it kept him and Robby watching with their mouths slightly open as glasses moved and guys were set on fire.

“I don’t understand how you can like these movies…” Daniel complained, moving a little under him. Johnny sat to let him adjust in his place. He was looking pale. “This is horrifying! I had enough with the little girl getting beheaded, but this is—”

“It’s alright, baby, no witch will try to put a demon in you.” Johnny assured him, Daniel looked at him between annoyed and actually considering his words. 

This time, when he laid again, Daniel started to caress his cheek with the back of his fingers.

Johnny waited for him to stop, to realize he was doing it in front of other people, to look awkward and make him feel like they will have to still keep secrets just to keep each other, but he didn’t.

He kept his soft caresses, his other hand in his hair.

Later, as Moon complained about the movie and Daniel agreed with her, kids started to come knocking on the door and so, the girl and his son ran to give out candies as if it was truly the most fun they could ever have.

Apparently, the college parties weren’t until the weekend, and no one they liked had better plans for the night. Somehow, movies and giving out candy with his father were the best Halloween plans they could have.

He saw Daniel watching them giving the candies, the kids complimenting Moon’s costume and hair, little boys asking their parents to let them say ‘hi’ to the bad guy Robby was dressed up as. 

There was a soft smile on his face, and Johnny wondered what he was seeing beyond the boy he helped so much, that now smiled so often, that had friends and a girl that liked him so much, Johnny had never seen anyone look at his son the way Moon did.

Johnny put a hand on his lower back, Daniel smiled and looked at him, moving one of his hands to hold his. He laced their fingers together, left both their hands on his back, and kept watching the kids come and go.

By the time the bowl was out, Robby and Moon ran into the kitchen for more candy in spite of Daniel leaving a second one on the table besides the door.

They knocked again, Johnny heard the couple laugh in the kitchen as they hurried each other while Daniel walked to grab the second bowl and open the door.

“Oh my god!” He heard the man say, getting down to look at the little girl in front of him. “Look at you! John!” Daniel called him, Johnny sighed and walked towards him when the man looked back. “Look, it’s princess Leia!”

Johnny smiled when he saw the little girl who immediately showed off her little dress and hairstyle. He signaled inside.

“Your evil son is over there.” He told her, Daniel laughed and looked up at him.

“Oooooh!” Moon said, getting to the door with the bowl now filled. “Robby, look!”

“Oh no, it’s mom!”

The little girl suddenly stilled, eyes opening wide at the sight of the two teens.

“Mommy!” She called back. “It’s Kylo Ren!”

The woman waiting for her laughed, waving at Robby whose cheeks were suddenly so red, they were probably warm. The girl kept jumping as he let her look at his costume, and Daniel filled her bag instead of giving two candies like they had been with the other kids.

“This is your girlfriend?” She asked Robby, putting a hand on Moon’s. Robby nodded. “Rey is your girlfriend?” She asked again, this time making Moon laugh.

“Yeah.” Robby answered with a smile. 

Little princess Leia then opened her arms, signaling Johnny and Daniel.

“And your daddies!” 

Shit.

Johnny looked at Daniel, the man’s smile was frozen but he didn’t move or say anything at all. The girl’s mom walked in, taking her hand.

“We gotta go, Debbie. We still have other houses to visit!” She said. “Sorry, she just gets…” She laughed, looking at Daniel who was standing up. “So excited when she sees other couples like my wife and I.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Johnny assured her, she looked at him with a smile. 

“Yeah, it’s just… she’s the only one in school with lgbt parents, and before we moved, we were around more queer families, and now it’s just so different!” The woman said, Johnny nodded and hoped Daniel wasn’t having a stroke at Robby’s side. “I’m Grace, by the way, we just moved to 22.”

Grace offered him her hand, Johnny shook it with a polite smile. “Johnny. That’s Daniel.”

“Hi,” Daniel said, shaking Grace’s hand too, “welcome to the neighbor!” He offered his best salesman smile, Johnny shook his head but winked at little Debbie when he saw the girl was looking up at him excitedly.

“It was so nice to meet you, guys!” Grace said, taking Debbie’s hand and walking her away from the door. “How do we say, Debbie?”

She held her bag high, trying to wave at them.

“Thank you, daddies!”

Daniel laughed, waving back before getting into the house once the little girl was gone and other kids were coming.

They left Robby and Moon to take care of that, Johnny only wanted to know Daniel was— well, okay . That he wasn’t freaking out.

He expected a pale face, wide open eyes, a worried expression. What he found were lips on his, a laugh against his mouth after a few seconds.

Johnny frowned, holding Daniel by the shoulders.

“We’re daddies!” Daniel said, Johnny closed his eyes for a second, trying to not smile too wide. 

“Don’t… don’t say that.” He smiled against Daniel’s hair when the man leaned his forehead against Johnny’s shoulder as he laughed. “Okay?”

“Uhm.” The man looked up. “If a little girl can get it, the rest of the world has no excuse.”

Almost a year since that November afternoon and it was as simple as that. 

Little Debbie with her princess Leia costume and her two moms, being friendly to them for three minutes while his son and his girlfriend prefered to spend time with them than with his roommates or new friends.

Robby and Moon stayed until there weren’t any more kids in the street, happily saying goodnight to them as they stood at the door. Daniel waved at them as Moon’s car drove away, looking at Johnny when they were left alone.

“What?”

“I don’t think I’m sleeping tonight.”

Johnny laughed, getting in with the man behind.

“I don’t think a cult is following you, Daniel. Don’t worry about it.”

“Goddammit, shut up!”

Day 324

A year ago today, Daniel had been drinking alone at Miyagi-do.

He considered himself for a second while sitting on the dock, thinking just how irresponsible and out of himself he was in that moment, thinking he would have never been like this had—he’d been out of things and people to blame.

Today, he took a six-pack of beer out of the fridge, surrounded by laughter coming from the dinner area of his home.

Sitting at the table, his daughter and not-boyfriend talked with Robby and his girlfriend, while Anthony explained Uno to Johnny, who was looking more confused with every word, probably thanks to the fast way the kid was talking.

Daniel sighed, moving his head to one side as he remembered the way he had decided that the culprit of all his tragedies was the man that lived in the back of his head for thirty years, haunting and feeding the part of him he tried to hide in order to fit in a life he thought was best for him and his family.

He sat down at the head of the table, leaving the beer in front of Johnny. The man took one bottle without looking away from Anthony, and all Daniel could do was smile at the sight.

That afternoon the year prerior, he had gone out in search of a fight. He had searched for Johnny as it rained, as his head spinned and his sight blurred between alcohol, tears and exhaustion. 

But Johnny had given him one look, saw something Daniel couldn’t for the life of him, and sat him down in his office at Cobra Kai.

He was looking at him now as they played Uno with their kids and their partners, suddenly such adults that have dinner with their parents and bring home someone else.

Johnny had a hand over his mouth, eyes on Daniel’s face, no words. There was something there— that gleam Daniel could now recognize when Johnny liked what he saw in him, just like that first time he noticed the year before.

“What?” He murmured, Johnny shook his head.

The kids were teaming up to make Robby lose. The boy made a tsk sound with his tongue at Daniel’s right, watching the 2 and 4 pile of cards Anthony, Sam, Miguel and Moon had thrown.

It was his turn now.

“I’m so sorry, love.” Moon said to Robby with a little apologetic frown, Anthony was laughing at Johnny’s side.

“Shit…” The boy murmured, shaking his head. Everyone had huge smiles, their mission was complete. “I didn’t want to do this.”

Or maybe not. 

Daniel looked at Johnny, panic raising in his chest as he started to suspect what was coming. Johnny looked at him without a word, hand still covering his mouth.

Sam gasped, Miguel had started to murmur a litany of nonono and when the boy put a card on the pile, 4, everyone yelled at the same time.

“No! Dammit! No!” Miguel complained at Anthony’s side.

Moon’s mouth was wide open, looking shocked at the cards. Sam put both hands over her mouth, and Daniel sighed deeply.

He couldn’t keep the chain going.

“Ha-ha!” Robby showed his middle finger, Daniel bit his bottom lip trying not to laugh, Johnny was laughing at his left. He’d never seen the boy so entertained. “That’s what happens when you try dogpilling someone!”

“You just made my dad take sixteen cards, asshole!” Anthony yelled at him.

Robby opened his arms, accidentally showing his cards while arching up his eyebrows. “It’s Uno! I hate every single one of you right now!”

“Right, genius! Nice green six, blue reverse and blue nine!” Miguel mocked.

The boy realized what was happening, immediately hiding his cards again. Daniel sighed and started to count the cards he was taking.

“I’m so sorry, daddy…” He heard Sam say. “God, those are a lot of cards…”

“Maybe we should ban chains?” Moon suggested. “It’s one of the interchangeable rules.”

“It would have to be on the next game, and I’m kind of depressed after this.” Miguel said.

They all laughed a little as he finished taking the cards. Even with the impossible pile in his hands, Daniel’s heart felt full and he couldn’t help look at Johnny with a smile.

“It’s your turn.” 

A year ago, he didn’t see Johnny taking care of his drunkenly sad ass coming. He didn’t see him saying ‘yes’ to his drunk ramblings, and meaning it.

Tonight the man throwed one of the newest cards into the pile, the swap hands card. It made the kids gasp in horror, but Johnny was looking at him and Daniel knew exactly what was going on.

His heart beat as fast as that night looking at him, he felt his cheeks warmth, the hot and fast way his blood went through his veins.

“Give me your hand, LaRusso.” 

“Awww!” He heard among the giggles and gasps.

“Zip it, or you’re getting thrown to the street!” Johnny warned, there were still quiet giggles but nobody said a word.

Johnny offered his four cards made into a neat pile, his other hand open.

“LaRusso,”

“John, no!” He laughed. “That’s not how it works!”

“How come? The rule is I can swap hands with whoever I chose. That’s you.” He insisted. “Come on.”

Carry me?

Sure.

He had told Johnny not to protect him that rainy afternoon, he wanted someone that could follow him into the dark waters his life had become— Johnny had nodded, giving him space, yet always on the look for what was best for him.

Anthony was looking at them with wide open eyes, as if seeing them for the first time, what they were. 

His surprise wasn’t angry or disappointed anymore, he was waiting for Daniel’s move as the rest of the table, and nobody seemed to think it a bad thing.

There were only smiles and a surprised child.

Daniel gave his twenty one cards to Johnny, accepting the four from him. He heard clapping and then Robby’s laugh.

“See, you should learn something from your daddy.” Moon patted Robby’s shoulder. Miguel burst into laughter. “My expectations of you are now higher .”

“Oh, come on!”

He laughed, looking at the new cards in his hands. Daniel looked at the couple, but his eyes caught on Sam. She was smiling wide at him, and Daniel swallowed, not knowing what to do with all he was feeling.

“Hey, it’s your turn.” He heard Johnny say.

Daniel looked back at find him looking at a quiet Anthony that looked still shocked.

“Uh, yeah.”

Johnny put a hand on Daniel’s knee under the table, and Daniel sighed happily.

The game kept up for a while until Daniel won. Everyone kept playing the same game after, getting out one by one, until Robby lost against Miguel. 

His fingers were lazily interlocked with Johnny’s over his knee, and they stayed like that as they had dinner while listening to the kids’ college experiences and Anthony’s complaints about school.

By the time it was over, Migue had asked for a moment alone with him and Johnny gave a gentle squeeze to his hand before standing, asking the others to take their plates into the kitchen.

“Can I program the dishwasher? I don’t know why mom doesn’t let me!” Anthony asked, making everyone laugh. “What?”

Sam was a sweet, loving girl. She looked precious as she stayed sitting where she was, nervous but not scared as she’d been the first time she told him she liked a boy.

This boy, though, wasn’t like any of those crushes she used to have.

Miguel talked to him like a man.

It made him wonder if this was his idea or Sam’s. Had all that italian swag coming off his mother every time she visited rubbed on Sam? Or was it Miguel’s roots that made him tell Daniel he had the best intentions, he wanted his blessing for them, that they wanted to do things right.

The seriousness of the situation knotted his stomach. He couldn’t help it— Samantha was the girl that truly stole his heart and to be confronted with the fact that his little girl was an adult, it—

“Of course.” He answered, the tension of his heart could only ease with the huge smile on Sam’s face as she watched Miguel talk. “I mean, you know I will hunt you down if anything ever happens to my daughter, so…”

“Yeah.” Miguel chuckled. “Not planning on any of that to happen, Mr. LaRusso.”

“Okay.” He swallowed. “How long have you two been together then?”

Sam and Miguel looked at each other, she laughed a little while looking away, but immediately answered.

“Officially, two weeks tomorrow.” She said. “But… it was coming for a while…”

“I didn’t say anything before. I wanted to talk to you in person, sir.” Miguel added, Sam nodded in front of him. “We thought it would be for the best.”

“It’s alright.” Daniel sighed, feeling way more relaxed. “Well, I wish you two the best. I’m happy for you.”

Sam gasped happily, “Thank you, dad!” 

He saw her move, standing and approaching him quickly to put her hands on his shoulders and kiss his forehead. They looked at each other for a few seconds, then hugged as Miguel stood.

Daniel shook his hand as they walked together into the living room, they could see Moon and Robby sitting on the stairs with their hands joined, little smiles on their faces.

“Hey!” Sam called, the two of them looked at her and Moon shushed her. “What’s going on?” She murmured, taking Miguel’s hand and standing by.

Before they could answer, Daniel heard Anthony’s voice through the kitchen’s door, followed by Johnny saying something. 

The kids stayed there, he went back to the dining room and slowly walked near the annex to the kitchen. It didn’t have a door, he could see the light coming out, the voices of his son and partner there.

“It’s just weird, I guess.” The kid said, Daniel leaned his back on the wall. “Both got over each other so fast…”

“Don’t tell me, i’m fine with that.”

“You are such an asshole!” 

Daniel shook his head, unable to tell who he wanted to slap in the head first.

They went silent for a while. He heard someone walking, taking a glass for the sound of it on the table. It being filled. Another two.

“Robby was like you once.” Johnny said. “He was confused why his mother and I weren’t together.” 

“I’m not confused, I’m—“

“Ssshh, the adult is talking.” 

He could tell Anthony had rolled his eyes.

“Look…” Johnny sighed. “Imagine it like this: we all have three glasses. Family life, professional life and personal life.”

Daniel frowned, he could imagine Anthony doing the same.

“They fill up as we grow up.” Johnny continued. “This is your parents’ family glass. It’s filled up because they got you guys, they got their parents and all that big italian family you have.”

“Okay…”

“Their professional glass is also up. They have a huge business. Good money. Your dad also has the dojo, that helps fill on the other two glasses—“

“Why?”

“Well, because your dad’s sensei was his family.” Something was moved on the table, water was poured somewhere. “But karate is also a personal thing for him. And professional, he’s a teacher now.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“The last one is not filled yet as it should.” He said. “Sometimes, things don’t work— with friends or partners. Water can evaporate with time.”

“So you are saying my parents just evaporated from each other?”

“No, they—“ Johnny sighed, sounding so tired. Daniel bit his tongue, laughter itching in his throat. “Kid… it’s a metaphor!”

“For what?”

“For— your parents decided to separate. That’s the evaporated water, it’s incomplete. All three glasses need to be filled for them to be happy.” Johnny quickly said. “You know how your dad is always talking about balance?” Anthony must have nodded. “You know why it doesn't work?”

“One of his glasses is only half-full…”

Daniel blinked. 

It was that simple. Balance of the three important things in his life. He wanted that, he thought he had it all and he’ll be perfectly fine on his own after the divorce. 

He met Johnny years ago, what was between them had been 30 years in the making, and Daniel was sure now he couldn’t stop it even if he tried. He didn’t want to.

What filled his third glass was this house, the man that made it home. The man who took him in and accepted him as he was  tonight.

“Yes.” Johnny said. “Your mom’s is, too. So maybe she will fill it soon, or not— no one planned on your dad’s being filled sooner than hers, but sometimes things happen. Right?”

“I think so…”

“Do you want your parents to be incomplete forever? It’s selfish of you to think they should stay alone because you can’t get over it.”

“I—“

“It’s selfish.”

Nobody said anything next, nobody moved. 

He heard Anthony sigh and calm his breathing, sounding like he had been avoiding to cry. Daniel moved to intervene, but the kid spoke first.

“I want my mom to be happy, too.”

“She will be.” Water was being poured again. “Just don’t give her shit for going out! She deserves to have fun.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Johnny cleared his throat. “Just like that, your dad deserves to be happy and have fun too.”

“He’s happy.” Anthony answered right away. “I hate it but… you are alright.”

Johnny snorted, Daniel closed his eyes and a much younger Johnny popped in his head. You’re alright .

“Your dad fills my glass…” Johnny said, Daniel smiled with a knot in his throat. It felt gentle. “Hopefully, I may help fill his.”

“Okay.” Anthony answered, then sighed. “Can I have a glass?”

Something was passed over the kitchen’s table and Daniel took a deep breath. 

“You don’t have to like me, kid. Or anyone your dad may date in the future, but you can just be there for him like he’s always there for you.”

“Yeah…”

“Daniel is a great dad. Don’t waste your energy trying to make him into a bad one.”

The boy was quiet. Something heavy was put down on the table.

“Okay. I’ll try.”

“Good.”

He looked at the ground for a few seconds, then walked away to turn and enter the kitchen from the front door with Johnny’s words echoing in his head.

The teens were all sitting in the stairs, talking quietly between them as he passed.

“I love you, dad.” He heard Sam say, he turned around and smiled at her. 

She had her fingers laced with Miguel’s, both sitting on different steps, but still close together. Robby and Moon were sitting at the bottom on the stairs in the same one, fingers also laced, her head on his shoulder.

“I love you, too.” He said, loudly opening the door to let the other two know he was coming in.

When he opened the door, Anthony was sitting at the table with a half-empty glass of water while Johnny was finishing leaving the other glasses he used, already clean and dry, on their place.

“Hey!” Daniel greeted.

Anthony ran to hug him without saying a word. Daniel blinked, looking down at him while hugging back. He looked back at Johnny, the man walked towards him and just smiled, quickly kissing his temple before leaving the kitchen.

He hugged his son and heard the teens laughing with Johnny behind him in this beautiful, normal, and luminous house of them.

Daniel hugged Anthony, and things felt okay.

Day 325

A year ago today, he watched Daniel sleep on his old bed.

He had been a mess: scruffy and badly dressed, drunk and tearful, blaming Johnny for everything he could.

For a second, Johnny felt his blood boil at his accusatory finger and words. But then he’d seen the man in the light, smelled him, remembered they were standing in very different positions at that moment.

It had started to rain after Daniel drank water, calmed down and told Johnny he was tired, so, so genuinely tired.

So he had tried to care for him, keep him safe and warm with his jacket around his shoulders, over his hoodie.

Daniel had looked every of his years, yet small. Not… not really weak, but so broken. Vulnerable. It had reminded Johnny of himself, drinking all day and crying in his car every night.

They were different men now.

“Bye, dad!” Robby waved at him, getting into Moon’s car. He was driving. “Good night, Mr. L!”

The man waved back, smiling wide and looking so relaxed, it was the nicest contrast from last year. Even with his kids gone, Sam staying with Amanda and Anthony for this visit, he looked… dare he say, he looked happy.

The year before, Johnny had taken him to his apartment in Reseda. He had watched him sleep on his side, thinking all night of what he’d said at the mini-mall.

“You know, it’s not— I don’t want you to—“

“What do you want?” He had asked. “And what you need?”

“I…” He had looked lost, a deer caught in headlights. “You don’t— you don’t need to protect me…”

The man had swallowed visibly. He looked up at Johnny with a hopefully yet sad expression.

“But what if we stay together?”

They’ve seen each other at their best and worst now. The strange force joining them had endured for three decades. 

Johnny nodded then, as he would now. “Yeah.”

He blinked looking up at the ceiling as he heard Daniel put on music and get into the bed. Johnny wondered if he was aware today a year ago, he had asked Johnny to be with him.

Did he consider this the day they got together, too? They should have talked about it.

Lips peppered the uncovered skin of his right arm, making him look down in time to see Daniel make a path of kisses from there, up his shoulder, neck and jaw.

“What are you doing, man?”

Daniel stopped, looking up at him with a sweet smile.”Kissing you?”

He rolled his eyes, moving forward to capture the man’s lips.

They kissed long and deep, slowly exploring each other’s mouths, playing with their tongues, swallowing each other’s laugh as hands roamed around their bodies and clothes started to hinder their way. 

Johnny could die for these kisses, he would die for this man.

When they separated, a thin string of saliva joined their lips still, making them laugh.

“You know how you told me I gotta understand you’re with me?” Daniel asked. Johnny frowned a little but nodded. “Well, you better get used to me and my children, mister. I’m not going anywhere either.”

“What?” Johnny frowned. 

“I’m saying… you’re the only one.” Daniel said with a hand on Johnny’s face, gently caressing his cheek. “I don’t want to date anybody else.”

Johnny felt his heart stop, then re-start with stronger and faster beatings. 

The man kept caressing his cheek with a smile, and Johnny was sure he could hear his heart, see the blush on his face.

“Damn, stop sneaking on me and the little demon.”

Daniel snorted, laughing happily as he went back to kiss Johnny.

The kiss was messier this time, tongue and teeth, laughter in between. It felt like the first time yet what it was, because Johnny knew his body and Daniel knew his— they did each other as they wished, and Johnny was eager to be inside him now.

When he finally was, Johnny couldn’t help the loud groan at the familiar and welcoming sensation of him, the way Daniel was smiling as it happened.

They had come a long way through this year. He could see it today as they spent the day with their kids. He could see it in the way Daniel’s enthusiasm had stopped coming with a side of shame.

A year ago today, as they panted on his bed, Johnny had thought there was a huge chance it would mean nothing at the end. 

Today, as he looked at Daniel, he leaned their foreheads together as he took a deep breath and snapped his hips into him faster.

He would die for this man, these moments together.

They came almost at the same time, Daniel a few seconds before Johnny, moaning into his mouth as the world seemed to quiet down.

Johnny hid his face between Daniel’s shoulder and neck, softly kissing the skin there as their breathing calmed down and their heartbeats synchronized again.

He felt Daniel breathe in and out, his fingers gently playing with his hair, his other hand on his back before those fingers curled slightly, then started to make patterns on his skin.

The slow movements were lulling him into sleep, Johnny closed his eyes and let it all go until he heard Daniel speak.

“Today... today a year ago. It was—when we first…” He trailed off. “When I was kind of drunk and—“

“Yeah.” Johnny murmured against his skin. 

He remembered. Johnny couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t need to protect you.”

Daniel laughed, the vibration of his chest filled Johnny with something akin to joy. He kissed his neck loudly and the laugh increased, making Johnny smile and slowly look up a little.

“Will you still stay with me?”

Johnny smiled at him, lazily nodding. “Yeah.”

Always.

Day 328

One day, Amanda was dating and a cocktail of strange feelings cut his breathing for the longest six seconds of his life.

Daniel swallowed, unable to understand what was so wrong with him he had felt— what? What was he feeling now?

He blinked a couple of times, thinking of the most ridiculous things like who was she seeing and since when? Did Daniel know him? Older or younger? Would his kids like him?

It was not his fucking place and yet, it was all Daniel could think of as the office’s gossip of the day didn’t allow him to be productive in the Dealership, then left him distracted at the dojo.

The kids looked at him worried, all of them probably thinking him sick and too tired, but no one dared ask or say anything to their teacher.

Home was not where he wanted to be today.

Johnny didn’t ask as he saw him go through the entire place changing things and putting new picture frames with photos of his children. 

He watched him stress over dinner, his teaching plan for the next few days, work, and Samantha who was in class and was doing perfectly fine, then settle for the day by sitting alone outside, in the little garden.

The wood dock he had installed himself was a joke in front of every plan he had for this house, this garden in particular. 

This entire year was supposed to be filled with positive change and new goals, new experiences, all that he dreamt of every time he crossed eyes with Johnny ever since his divorce process started last year.

He had done almost none of it, at least of the garden.

Amanda was dating. 

She would eventually, Daniel always knew. She should be with someone great, that could love her the way she deserved. So why was he so—

What was he doing?

“Are you sleeping in today or should I get you mosquito repellent?” 

Daniel almost jumped on his ass, Johnny’s voice echoed around him and the garden. He looked up to find him standing at his side but looking front, to the small green area where Daniel had planned to do many things he hadn’t even started.

He swallowed, suddenly aware of how late it was— the afternoon had passed by, the sky was dark, and he was so very tired.

Johnny walked away, barefoot on the grass as he looked up at the starless night. 

Daniel looked at him, the wide of his back and long of his legs, the way the artificial light casted a white glow on him.

How tense he was.

What was he doing? His finger was caressing that lonely area where a ring used to be. 

He had this gorgeous man all for himself and he was, what? Jealous? Of his ex-wife moving on with her life? 

Daniel closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“No, I’ll be there in a minute.”

The man said nothing, didn’t move from where he was or relaxed, just nothing.

He wished he could tell John how he felt. 

For a moment, Daniel wished they were the kind that talk. That can say easily what bothers them and feel relief with it, finding a solution together.

That sounded reasonable. If only he were a reasonable man and not a coward that can’t admit shit even to himself.

Johnny walked a few steps way again, this time checking something on his phone and it felt like hell.

He saw him, in the green and the light, hair shining golden like daylight, all beautiful— yet, away from Daniel.

In a heartbeat, he took his phone and typed fast.

Hi.

Daniel waited. He saw Johnny stop walking, holding his phone still and slowly turn around to see him.

Whatever Daniel’s face told him, it was enough to make him stay silent and keep his questions to himself at the moment.

Johnny looked down at his phone and typed.

Is everything okay?

Daniel’s mouth tasted bitter, he felt his heart in his throat as he wrote back.

No. But I’m not sure what it is...

You always know what it is

Think harder, LaRusso

He swallowed his heart, sighed deeply.

I found out Amanda is officially dating some guy and I’ve been weird about it.

Daniel didn’t get an answer.

He waited for what felt like forever, every second more anxiety-inducing than the last, and when he looked up, he found Johnny staring at the sky with both hands made into fists on his hips.

His phone was in his right hand. Daniel looked down.

After a while, he heard a deep sigh.

“Fuck.” Johnny said, Daniel looked up but he still had his back to him and this time, he was typing on his phone.

She’s in her right

Daniel blinked at the simple answer, still expecting insults. Maybe a break up.

I know.

Then? Don’t be such an asshole

That was more like it. He couldn’t help but smile.

He was, in fact, an asshole.

I don’t understand what I’m feeling but

I’m worried

?

I’m not sure

I can’t stop thinking about Anthony. He already thinks the worst of me and sees me like some boring dude

So what if Amanda’s new boyfriend is like a new toy? You know how kids are with new toys? What if he is cool and brand new? He is going to prefer him over me

He heard him laugh and his heart fell. Daniel looked at Johnny, the man turned around and walked towards him with firm steps, no longer tense.

Johnny put his phone into his pocket, standing in front of Daniel before getting on his knees.

Daniel blinked a couple of times, looking at his face.

“I always thought that ever since Shannon told me she was pregnant.” He said. “But then I didn’t show up for my kid, didn’t do enough, and you know what happened.”

He frowned for a second, trying to understand what Johnny meant until his every second with Robby passed through his head and Daniel gasped.

“Johnny, I’m—“

“Quiet, I’m talking.” Johnny said, he was frowning but still had that look on his face, the one that was for Daniel, and Daniel only. “It all worked out at the end for me, I’m a lucky man whose son is too good for this world. I’m also the guy fucking the cooler dad.”

“John…”

Johnny winked at him, Daniel rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, unsure of where the man was going with all this.

He put both hands on Daniel’s knees, looking at him in the eyes.

“Daniel, you’re the best dad I know.” He said, it wasn’t the first time. “You’re not like me, Amanda is not like Shannon, and your kid loves you. He worships you.”

A tiny smile appeared on his face.

“Even if there’s a chance Amanda is dating James Bond, at the end of the day Anthony is always going to choose you.” He squeezed his thighs. “And… nothing is actually happening. Is it?”

“No, I… I just heard in the Dealership she’s seeing someone.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. He kissed his forehead loudly before standing up and getting into the dock to open the door.

“Come on.” 

“I’m going to st—“

“No. It’s time for bed. If you don’t get enough sleep, the entire world regrets it.”

Daniel was about to protest when Johnny put an arm around his back and the other under his legs, lifting him almost without effort, and making Daniel gasp aloud, putting his arms around Johnny’s neck immediately.

“What are you doing?” Daniel said, feeling his face warm.

“Carrying you as you’re always asking.”

Damn.

He bit his bottom lip as Johnny walked into the house, manoeuvring as best he could to close the sliding door of the patio turned garden.

Johnny carried him up the stairs and into their room. Daniel bit his bottom lip as he thought of his mess of a day, the silent dinner, these silly texts.

If he had texted Johnny since he started to feel this way, had his day been better? 

It didn’t seem to matter as he pulled Johnny with him into the bed when the man was trying to gently lay him there, making him lose balance and fall on top of him.

They laughed together, between kisses and fading preoccupations, and Daniel was sure he could endure anything, as long as he could have this.

Day 333

After all this time, Johnny realized something surprising— he didn’t like fighting with Daniel.

Pissing him off was fine. There was something fun about teasing him, Daniel would always make the best faces and say the most ridiculous things, but they never really mean anything.

But fighting, that— 

Maybe it was because their relationship was different nowadays, but Johnny hated the way he could upset Daniel without realizing. How the man wouldn’t say shit after and just pretend he wasn’t hurting or even waiting for Johnny to magically know what was happening.

In days like these, when they laid together in bed with Daniel’s back to Johnny and complete silence between them, it felt like hell. But unlike most times, Johnny knew what was happening.

Earlier, the teens had been gossipping about them in the kitchen, unaware he’d been about to get in. He heard them worried, apparently they hadn’t been bickering like an old married couple enough last night during dinner and they could tell by this they weren’t doing great.

“Shit.” He heard Miguel say. “That bad, uh?”

“I just thought it weird. They are usually pissing each other off and they barely talked to each other last night, so…”

Sam had hummed, Johnny could tell she was thoughtful. “I’m sure they are fighting. Dad was acting all calm and collected, then immediately speaking after Mr. Lawrence said something… He does that when he’s mad but doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Huh. Sounds familiar.”

A slapping sound, Miguel complaining, Robby sighing deeply, and Johnny had enough. 

The awareness of their kids had made his stomach knot, Johnny left with a headache, thinking of this week’s newest drama and how much he could fuck up by saying the worst things at the worst time. He had found Daniel in their bedroom, and the same silent and tense dance had started all over again until they were ready to sleep hours later.

They laid down now, in silence, having fought for four days straight.

Johnny remembered well, the moment he realized he had fucked up.

His partner had been happily yet nervously rambling about the Holidays, about how when he was a child he used to have so much fun with all of his cousins in New Jersey, and how good dinners with the larguer family were back in the day.

He had swallowed visibly and Johnny could see from miles what his intention was, and it had made him frown.

By the time Daniel had said they should go to Jersey for the Holidays, Johnny had the ‘no’ in the tip of his tongue. Daniel had looked at him for long seconds before looking hurt, and he realized then— he fucked up.

“It was really nice what you did for Sam earlier.” 

Johnny blinked, surprised to hear Daniel’s voice. 

“You’re not— you’re not going to see her wearing it, but it was sweet.”

He frowned, looking at Daniel’s back.

Before the kitchen incident, a package had arrived home with Johnny’s name and everyone had been curiously waiting to see what it was. He had given it to Sam, saying it was an early Christmas gift that couldn’t wait.

The girl seemed excited, opening the box to find another one with a logo she recognized right away. Moon gasped at the sight, too.

“No way!” Sam had said with a big smile looking at him, Johnny just shrugged. She finished taking it out to open the other box and squeal like a little girl, clapping while letting Moon see what was inside. “It is, it is!”

“Oh my god, take it out!”

Weeks ago, she had put in the instagram publicity of a dress she wanted but couldn’t afford, writing she wanted to use it for the Holidays, that it was perfect. He had looked at it and remembered something else—

When he was a boy, his mother had seen a similar dress in a store before Sid. She had looked at it with shining eyes then looked at the prize tag and grimaced. Back then, they didn't really have any money and Laura hadn’t had a single piece of new clothes all year, but there was nothing he could do.

He remembered that dress. Pale pink, it looked like a princess’ gow in his child mind. Sam’s dress was beige and as short, had stars instead of flowers on the transparent sleeves, shoulders and collarbones. 

She would look like a princess.

It was expensive, but a little effort was worth it— he hadn’t gotten her anything for her birthday back in October and he had a credit car. Johnny got the dress with a student’s help without saying anything to anyone about it.

“Why not?” He asked Daniel after a while.

The man sighed. “The kids are spending the Holidays with their mother.”

Sam had looked happy, showing the beige dress with stars to everyone, then tackled him on the couch with a hug, thanking him with Robby’s laugh in the back.

When he looked at Daniel earlier, he had been smiling but there was something sad on his face as he looked down at the dress on the coffee table.

It made sense now.

Other things made sense, too.

“Okay.” Johnny said. He licked his lips, knowing his next question may keep them fighting for yet another day. “Is this why you want to go to Jersey?”

He felt more than he saw Daniel nod.

Johnny sighed, closing his eyes as he remembered how defeated and in disbelief Daniel had looked when he had said no. 

It was just… the man had been acting odd for days, hearing him say his plans that afternoon had felt like a long time coming madness Johnny couldn’t allow in the house, not now that things were finally settled and going well.

He suspected something like this would happen someday. He knew that the more comfortable they got, the more likely Daniel was to do something reckless. Probably out of guilt, maybe fear.

But this… unhappiness, he hadn’t seen it coming. He should have known there was something else going on.

“You should have told me that first.”

“Your reasons for not going aren’t clear either.” Daniel said, Johnny rolled his eyes. 

“Nice try.” He sighed. “Daniel, you… you realize what you are saying, right? You want us to go knowing they don’t want me and Robby there.” Johnny swallowed. “Your old lady may be okay with us, but how many times have we seen her this past year? Once. And it was… you know how that went.”

“You were nervous.” Daniel said, there was hurt in his voice. “You guys barely talked! You can’t judge… how things are gonna go from just one dinner!”

He closed his mouth, looking at the ceiling. When Daniel got onto something, it was almost impossible to take him out of it. It would be so easy to simply say yes and risk it all— there was a big chance he may back out closer to the date anyway.

But Johnny didn’t want that. He wanted to understand why the man was incisting so much, why he was being so risky. 

Even with all his stubbornness and hot headed decision making skills, Daniel wouldn’t… expose this . 

The kids not being with him sure could put him in a mood, but—

“Here goes nothing.” Johnny sat down, putting a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Alright, talk to me.”

“About what?” Daniel sat with his legs crossed. “You made it clear, you don’t wanna go, you want us to do whatever you want only—“

“I never said that, you little shit.” Johnny interrupted him. “I told you, Robby has plans with his mother and they invited us, it’s an option.” He swallowed, trying to sound convinced. “New Jersey is another one.”

“Oh, you made it clear it was, alright?” 

Johnny closed his eyes, trying to calm his shit because— damn. He was tired.

He could see it happening, showing up to someone’s house with Daniel, a traditional family who for fifty years thought Daniel straight and who loved his ex-wife, the mother of his goddamn children. 

But those children were not gonna be with him during Christmas for the first time ever. Even Lucille with her enthusiastic support wouldn’t be happy to see Johnny there without the kids, evident proof that many things had been ruined and broken

And he’d feel bad, for sure. But not bad enough to ever want to give up Daniel, and maybe meeting all those LaRussos he had heard so much about relatively soon wasn’t a good idea. Maybe slowly, maybe next year when things settled better.

When Daniel was genuinely okay with this.

“You know—“ Daniel started, Johnny looked at him. The man has his eyes on the bed sheets, down. “When we got together, I knew… I knew it was gonna be hard. I wanted to take the risk,” He blinked. “I still want to. I’m trying here and you just—“

Johnny swallowed with a frown. “Going with your family sounds fine, but…”

“What?” Daniel looked at him.

He seemed so tired. He’d been looking worse every day and eating less, waking up so early, Johnny was sure Daniel wasn’t sleeping at all.

This was more than plans being ruined, his kids being with their mother.

“But I don’t think we are ready for it.” He finally said. “I don’t— I don’t know how else to say it, but— ”

“You think they would reject us?”

“You.” Johnny said. “I don’t give shit about it, but you do.”

Daniel looked at him, blinking a couple of times with a deep frown on his face. There was surprise in that expression— as if this information was new to him, as if they hadn’t been dealing with it all year long.

He swallowed, trying to find the words to make his point clear, wondering if there will be a relationship to save after this.

“I don’t.” The man said, shrugging. “I really don’t.” Daniel licked the inside of his cheek, Johnny could see the movements of his tongue on it. “I just want us to be together during Christmas. We didn’t last year and I… missed you.”

They had been brand new back then. Johnny had dinner with Robby and Claire last year, then dropped his son at Shannon’s mother. He and his sister had gone to a party at a bar, had made fun of each other for being there and he had thought of Daniel all night.

But the man had been with his children and his mother, no one even knew back then what they were doing in private, what had happened weeks before.

He sighed now, licking his lips. “So you are saying, you are going to Jersey wherever I go or not?”

Daniel looked away. Johnny rubbed his closed eyes with two fingers. This was exhausting.

“I don’t know.”

Johnny bit the inside of his cheek, looking at him. If Daniel wasn’t going to say what was truly bothering him now, he won’t later. He sighed.

“Okay. Let me think about it— but just… cut it out, man.” He said, Daniel looked up. “I don’t… I don’t like us like this.”

The man looked at him for long seconds without blinking and a part of Johnny felt empty when he looked down, nodding before going back to lay on his side, his back to Johnny. 

He took a deep breath before laying down, slowly moving towards Daniel, carefully going through the ritual of spooning him against his chest. When he laced their fingers together, Daniel took his hand up his lips, kissing it softly before sighing.

The next morning, he wondered if they could really be okay as he did his daily jog, alone like he’d been doing since they first fought.

He thought about it again as he went into the house, not even a sound even though Daniel was awake when he left. His car was outside. And he was in the kitchen when Johnny walked in, sitting at the table with his sight lost on his cup of coffee.

Johnny walked in, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. The sound awoke Daniel from his thoughts, looking at Johnny as he sat down on the table. Before he could do or say anything, Daniel had put his full cup aside and cleared his throat.

“I understand why you don’t want to go with me.” He said out of nowhere, Johnny didn’t dare react at all. “I’ve been a pain in the ass all year, I know I’m not… ideal for this… kind of relationship?” 

He blinked. What the fuck?

Daniel licked his lips, eyes down again. “I don’t— I’m—“ He sighed loudly, looking up again, visibly willing himself to speak. “I’m a bad boyfriend.” He said, Johnny’s eyes opened wide and he had to resist the need to laugh. “I let you do everything for us this past year and I just sat in the back, pretending it was fine.”

“Daniel,” Johnny closed his eyes, trying hard to understand what was currently going on in his life, “what are you talking about? You’re losing me here, man.”

“I mean…” He took a deep breath. “I know I haven’t really put in any work on… us. As a couple.” He visibly swallowed, Johnny blinked hard and saw little colorful spots around Daniel’s face in front of him. “I thought, maybe… Maybe I could do something these Holidays, and since I didn’t want to spent them alone again,”

What—

“I thought going with my family could benefit both things. I thought that I could show you I’m all in and introduce you to my family, and that I wouldn’t spend Christmas alone.”

The—

“But I was feeling down earlier last week because it’s been a year since the sign of the divorce papers, and I don’t know— I don’t know why I’m still feeling this way! I don’t want to feel any of that but I still remembered and felt down all day, and then Sam tells me Anthony wants to go with Amanda to see her family, so she thought she would too, and—“

Fuck?

“And I just… it was so much happening at the same time, I let out my frustration on you. I shouldn’t have, I should have listened to what you were saying, but after the kids said they weren’t coming, I just wanted a win. But I understand, I understand why you don’t want to go. We don’t have to. I’d love to have dinner with Robby, his mother, and Claire. Of course I would love to see Claire again. I miss her.”

Johnny blinked a couple of times, waiting to see if Daniel would keep on his nervous ramblings. He looked around his face, the way he looked tired as hell and so sad, everything suddenly made sense. The bad feeling he had for days, that was it.

The kids weren’t coming, and apparently Johnny had been wrong, and they weren’t with his father last year as Daniel told him back then. It had been a year since the divorce. And Daniel felt like a bad— he wanted to punch himself in the face.

He shook his head slowly, imagining the cocktail of emotions. It reminded him of losing his mother, then having his son be born so close together, failing both of them by indulging in his ever growing alcoholism and other self-destructive patterns.

“Daniel, whatever the fuck I do for you doesn’t mean I’m better than you at relationships, it just means that I goddam love you.”

“Johnny—”

“I didn’t know the kids weren’t with you last year, why the hell did you lie to me? I would have taken you with Claire.” He shook his head. “Just like you should have told me the kids weren’t coming this year since the beginning!”

“I know, I know, it’s just—” He stopped. Johnny looked at him, waiting. Maybe this time, if he let Daniel find his own words, things could change. “I don’t know how to do this! It’s been… so different from any other relationship I’ve ever had!”

Maybe this would hurt, but it could really help the man. Johnny swallowed and maintained his eyes on Daniel’s face.

“And I hate how much of a secret it is! I hate that— that even though this is the best that has happened to me in a long time, I just—” He looked down, Johnny blinked and suddenly had a flashback to that first time he saw Daniel at his Dealership.

He was wearing the same suit today. Same tie.

Daniel looked at him.

“I love you.” 

Johnny sighed, offering his open hand on the table. Daniel put his hand over his, Johnny caressed it with his thumb, eyes glued to his own movements.

“Alright.” Johnny said. “We’re going to New Jersey.” Daniel gasped, Johnny cleared his throat and looked up at his surprised, hopeful, face. “With one condition, though.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever, ever think you aren’t doing “enough” for me or whatever.” He squeezed his hand. “You gave me and my son a home. You’re more than enough.”

If Daniel didn’t get it now, he never will.

But the man smiled, lacing his fingers with Johnny’s as he nodded.

“How about this?” He licked his lips. “I… I’ll ask my mom what she thinks, and if she agrees with you, we stay.” He seemed way more relaxed now, Johnny nodded. “If she… if she thinks there won’t be a problem, we risk it. We’ll have to sometime!”

“I know.” Johnny smiled at him. “Don’t need to protect you, right?”

Daniel shook his head. “Just be with me.”

Day 344

Lucille LaRusso was an enthusiastic and supportive mom.

She had been raised like any other italo-american woman, had wanted the best for Daniel his entire life and worked her ass off for him since he was a little boy. It almost killed him when she told him off about getting a divorce, then having feelings for a man.

Daniel’s mom knew he was—she knew he sometimes looked at other men.

She had known for a long time, according to what she later said to him after the divorce. But when Daniel was younger and got the courage to tell her for the first time. Lucille had only looked at him and smiled, then ignored every sign and attempt at starting that conversation again.

For him, having his mom at least know what he was up to was important. Even if Johnny had frowned when he announced he had told Lucille. The man had then avoided the theme, and Daniel knew having them both in the same room somewhere in the future was going to be awkward at least.

The day she called, saying she finally got it because some movie had made her understand, Daniel felt a mix of feelings he wasn’t sure he wanted to explore. Something between relief and happiness, resentment and hurt. But at least, his mom was okay with his personal life.

When he called to ask what she thought of his idea, she went quiet for long minutes, and Daniel knew it was not going to happen.

Once again, his finger went to where the wedding band used to be, and caressed it as she explained how many of his uncles and cousins were not like them .

They won’t understand. They need to first be told, then shown. If they simply showed up together, it would cause chaos.

“Ugh, I wish you would have told me you wanted to introduce him to the rest of the family! I would have told them months ago I mean “as in gay” when I say ‘partner’!”

“I—“ Daniel shook his head, looking outside the sliding door of the living room. Robby and Anthony were playing soccer in the yard, Moon taking pictures of them with her polaroid camera. “We’re not gay, mom. I’ve told you.”

“Ah yes, I know! What is that word again?”

Daniel swallowed, he cleared his throat and loosened his tie. “Bi-Bisexual, mom.”

“Bisexual! Yes!”

He shook his head again, hearing the front door open. 

Daniel walked towards the hall, seeing Johnny get in and leave his things on the table at the door’s left. He sighed, smiling at him when their eyes met and his heart beat faster. Johnny walked towards him, Daniel put the phone down for a few seconds to peck his lips, and then went back to his call.

His mother talked for about two hours more, leaving Daniel tired on the couch while Johnny and Moon discussed something about food in the kitchen, fighting about healthy plates to cook for the day.

“I’m just going to uber something, you two are annoying.” Robby said from the dining area, Moon gasped loudly while Johnny and Anthony laughed. “Ordering some healthy McDonalds for everyone!”

“Robby! You know I’m vegan!”

“And a salad for the lady!”

“Robby!”

Daniel laughed in the living room, happy to hear the noise of a full house again. 

Winter break had been mostly a blessing, they have had two or all of the kids in the house daily for two weeks now, and it always left him smiling by the end of the day.

He stayed on the couch with his eyes closed, listening, until fingers stopped him from caressing his— he hadn’t even realized he was doing it again. Daniel opened his eyes, blinking away the sleepiness that had come to him so suddenly, looking up to find Johnny looking down at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Daniel answered, his heart hurt a little. He hated when Johnny noticed his finger thing. “So, I talked to my mom.”

“Mhm.” Johnny moved, going to sit where Daniel was laying. He lifted himself to let him in, putting his head on his lap after. “She agrees with you.”

The man made a tsk sound with his tongue, his fingers going to Daniel’s face, tracing his features with one as he often did. It made him smile.

“Well, it’s… Whatever you decide, man.”

He blinked, hearing Anthony laugh as Moon told him about a prank Demetri and Jason, Robby’s other roommate, had played on her boyfriend. Robby groaned, and Daniel couldn’t help but smile.

“We would go to Shannon’s, right? If we stay.” He asked, Johnny nodded as they looked at each other in the eyes. “Is it okay if my mom comes? She insists.”

“Sweet baby Jesus…” Johnny took a deep breath, Daniel chuckled at the sight. “I mean, no way I’m stopping hurricane Lucille, so of course.”

“Shut up, don’t call my mom that!” But he was laughing. None of this sounded so bad.

Still, he was a bit bummed his plan hadn’t worked out.

He could understand Johnny’s and his mother’s concerns. He knew his family was old fashioned, that there were too many of them, and many varied opinions will fly around when they finally get to do the next step. But he had hoped he could do this for Johnny, for them.

So, he went with plan B.

“Sounds good to me, then.” Daniel sighed. “I was thinking, we will have Sam and Anthony on New Year’s Eve.” He said, Johnny nodded as his finger was now gently caressing the long of his nose. “You’re gonna make me sleep if you keep that up.”

Johnny smiled down at him. “You’re not a baby…”

He smiled and went back to the conversation at hand. “Anyway, I was… I was thinking, how would you feel if we had a little party? Here in the house.”

“A little party as in, what assholes are you inviting?”

“Don’t say that!” Daniel frowned. “Your son and his girlfriend, if her parents let her, for a start!”

Johnny laughed, shaking his head. 

“Alright. So the kids.”

“Yeah…” Daniel sighed. “The boys and their wives? If they can, of course. It’s such a short notice, we should had done this since—“

The man put his finger over his lips. “Stop that. None of it. I like it, I can talk to them. Even if not all of them can come, sounds fun.”

Daniel felt his heart jump in happiness. Finally. A win.

“How about Claire?” Johnny asked. “She can stay the week, since she’s coming for Christmas.”

“Of course!” He answered. “Oh, you think Miguel would want to come? Since we are inviting Moon, it would be rude not to have him over—”

“Mmm, only if Carmen and especially Rosa can come. No way those women are letting him go anywhere during their important dinners!” He said, laughing at the end.

“Alright, then— the Diaz, especially Rosa.” Daniel sighed. “Sounds like a good party.”

“Yeah…” He smiled, passing his hand through Daniel’s hair. “And your mom, probably.”

“Maybe. But I don’t think so. She does like the big italian party back home. There’s a lot of wine involved.”

They laughed together, then stood to eat with the kids when the food arrived, talking about the Holidays plans. Daniel couldn’t help but smile when he noticed the way Robby’s eyes shone when Johnny told him they will be going to his mother’s for Christmas.

It made it all so worth it, if he can be here in this dream house he bought once just to have a piece of home near his heart, with the family he was now blessed with. It made the entire year worth it.

He left his hand over Johnny’s on his thigh under the table, then stood with him when the man asked him to come upstairs, leaving the kids in the living room where Robby was installing back his playstation, Anthony excitedly looking as the boy had promised to let him play first.

Daniel sighed once they were alone, waiting for whatever Johnny wanted to say in private.

The man turned to look at him with a little smile, those sparkling ocean blue eyes with their soft gleam, his Daniel Smile. 

He kissed him, soft and slowly, almost like the first time but with the confidence of knowing his lips so well, Johnny could recognize them in the dark.

“I saw you doing that thing with your fingers again.” He said, Daniel blinked. “You’ve been doing it a lot lately.”

“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry, it’s not—It’s not voluntary, and I swear it has nothing to do with—”

“I know.” Johnny said, he sounded sure. Daniel nodded, feeling relief. “But I— well. Don’t wet your panties or freak out on me, I…” He got his hand inside the pocket of his red hoodie, Daniel blinked as he saw him take out a small gift box. “Early Christmas gift for you, too. I think it can help your anxious ass.”

“Romantic!” Daniel said, taking the box. “Why would I freak out anyway?” He laughed, opening the box to find a black velvet one. “Oh.”

“Please,” Johnny cleared his throat, “don’t take this like—look...”

He took the box from him and only then Daniel realized he had frozen in place, looking at the closed velvet box. Johnny took it out, opening it in front of his face. Daniel saw him swallow, and then look up at him.

“Are you—Daniel, are you okay?”

Daniel blinked. What a question.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He turned the box for him to see, his eyes immediately looking at the ring.

There was a ring, alright. 

A silver band with a string of gold in the middle. 

It shone between them, a single thread of gold like the red one the japanese thought joined people’s souls and lives by destiny. He had told himself that story to sleep every time he fell in love, every time he thought he had fallen in love.

“I thought… if you had something new in your finger…”

Daniel took the ring, looking at it closer. It was lighter than his old wedding band, thank God. he wondered where Johnny went to get it, if this was a spontaneous thing or he had thought of it for months like Daniel would have.

He moved it in his fingers until his eyes caught on something inside the band. 

Can’t fight this feeling

“Fuck,” Johnny’s voice interrumpted his thoughts. Daniel looked up, he was—he was a nervous wreck, “just say something. Please.”

His mouth opened, Johnny was so nervous, he was—Daniel chuckled, smiling widely as he looked down at the ring before putting it on his finger, like a wedding band.

It looked like one. Daniel moved his head to one side, noticing how well it fitted in his finger. It felt like one, too.

“I love it…” He said, voice breaking a little. 

Daniel chuckled again, shaking his head before clearing his throat. He put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder, the ring looking good in his finger. Daniel looked up at him. 

“John,” The man looked at him, his cheeks were red. He put a hand over Daniel’s. “Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’m not giving you anything until your next birthday.”

He laughed, knowing well it wasn’t true. His partner was so nervous, it was— it was adorable.

“Well, it doesn’t matter.” Daniel made a semi-fist, looking at his hand and the band. He sighed, looking up at Johnny. “I love my ring.”

Finally, Johnny smiled. The man wrapped his arms on his waist and pushed him against his body. Daniel laughed, cradling his face with both hands before kissing.

This time, he made sure to be gentle. He hoped Johnny could feel how warmth he felt around him, heart full, mind slowing down, body relaxed.

He hoped Johnny knew he loved him.

He loved him, he loved him so much, if this was a proposal he would—

Daniel blinked when they went apart, his surprised expression must have alerted Johnny who immediately reminded him of what he had said earlier.

“It’s to help you with your anxiety.” He said with a frown. “It doesn’t— it doesn’t mean anything… else.”

Daniel nodded, slowly putting both hands on Johnny’s chest. He looked up at his face and bit his bottom lip.

“And if I want it to mean something else?”

Johnny’s brain seemed to stop in that moment, he just blinked and stood there with his eyes open, red cheeks. Daniel laughed.

His hair was so blond, it shone golden under the sun. They had met a long time ago, they had a long and complicated history together. He had realized a while back how similar they were, always paralleling each other, an invisible string tying them together.

All endings, all beginnings and middles had led him to Johnny at the end.

Daniel smiled at him. “John?”

“Alright…” The man swallowed, looking down between them as his hands laid on Daniel’s biceps. “How, uhm— just let me—”

He laughed, hand going to his mouth. Johnny looked up with red cheeks and Daniel's heart soared in his chest. “Oh my God!” He put both hands on Johnny’s face again, smiling wide and stupid. “Oh, John…”

“What?” He said, sounding defensive. 

Daniel kissed him hard. 

He was going to get downstairs after this, wearing a ring where his wedding band once was. Tomorrow, he’ll go grocery shopping and everyone will see it, even if they don’t know, Daniel would carry it with him and walk around with it, free to show off.

He smiled against Johnny’s lips, and looked him in the eyes. “You really do love me, uh?”

“Daniel—”

He pecked his lips. “Yes.” He said. “Whatever it is.”

Johnny blinked, slowly nodding before he held Daniel in a strong embrace. Daniel hugged him back smiling as he sighed happily.

Truth was, he still didn’t have a name for what they were and people could call it whatever they wanted— he was happy. He wanted that happiness forever, he wanted Johnny to hold him for as long as there was salt in the world.

And longer if he could.

Day 361

Everyone they invited made it to the party.

Johnny had opened the door for each one of them as Daniel went around between the kitchen and dining room with food and drinks, laughing with his daughter as she helped out, never letting Carmen help as she wanted, but unable to tell Rosa no.

The woman had ended in the kitchen, arguing with Daniel about condiments and how things must be done. Carmen had laughed, looking at him apologetically before going into the kitchen to try and convince her mother to leave Daniel alone with his cooking.

She didn’t succeed.

He watched as Sam got out the kitchen with beers for Bobby and Jimmy, her beige dress he had gifted her fit perfectly and made her look like a princess, right as he had thought when he got it.

She laughed at Jimmy’s ridiculous joke, then blushed when Noah, Jimmy’s oldest kid, complimented her, making Miguel look up from the computer Anthony had asked his help with. Robby laughed at his side on the table, teasing him about it before both went back to their task when the kid complained.

“Oh, thank you.” He heard Sam say. “Actually, it’s a gift from Mr. Lawrence!” She said, Johnny looked at her and saw she was now talking to Shannon and Claire.

“Are you serious?” Shannon’s eyes opened wide, and Johnny sighed, knowing his ex-wife was going to give him shit for the next few hours. “Well, well, well…”

“Shut it!” He warned, the woman looked at him with a devilish expression he hadn’t seen in a very long time.

Who were they now? Inviting each other over for the Holidays, bickering like old days, smiling to each other.

Samantha smiled at him as she passed back to the kitchen where the discussion between Daniel and Rosa had now escalated to include Carmen.

“I see she’s the favorite!” Shannon teased, standing to walk towards him. 

He shook his head. “Favorite. What are you talking about? 

She made a tsk sound with her tongue just like Robby was always doing, smiling wide. “You always wanted a daughter!”

That was true. Back when he was younger and wanted something similar to the typical family picture, a daughter would have been great.

He looked down at Shannon, smiling at her before Robby’s laugh called their attention.

Their boy was surrounded by other kids, all laughing together. 

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, seeing as Miguel explained something to Anthony who nodded at his every word, while Noah and his sister talked to Robby and JJ, Bobby’s boy.

From the kitchen, Moon came with two glasses. She gave one to Robby and sat across his lap, listening to the conversation as she put her head on his shoulder.

“She likes him so much.” Shannon murmured, Johnny couldn’t help but smile. “Doesn’t it make you feel… something ?” She looked at him.

“Mmm?”

“That someone likes your son so much?” 

“Jesus—“ He chuckled. “When she looks at him like that, damn yes.”

Shannon laughed alike, watching as Robby said something to his girlfriend and the girl looked up at him as if he was everything good in the world. He certainly was to them.

“He’s doing so well.” She said. Johnny looked at her. Shannon kept watching their boy with his new friends and girlfriend. “Maybe we weren’t so bad after all.”

Maybe. 

Robby looked at them, there was a gleam of curiosity in his eyes as he watched his parents standing together and not yelling at each other. The boy smiled, his cheeks pink, dimples on full display. For the first time, Johnny felt like she was right, they weren’t so bad at the end—they did one thing right, and he was laughing with his friends in his home.

“Everyone,” Daniel came out the kitchen, Johnny blinked and uncrossed his arms, “please to the table, dinner is ready.”

“Yaay!” Anthony ran outside, where they had put together the two rental tables Daniel had gotten.

“See you at dinner!” Shannon said, walking away as he walked over to where Daniel was standing, watching everyone move to their backyard.

“Hey, you survived Rosa!” He said, Daniel looked at him with a frown.

“She survived me .” The man replied. “No one tries to interrupt an Italian while cooking, everyone knows this.”

Johnny laughed, following him as they went into the backyard.

The noise of the table would have given him a headache , but tonight Johnny laughed with his son and his friends, threw chips at Anthony when the kid kept doing the same to him, and felt like a small child when Rosa called them both out.

He never thought he’d ever have something like this. And the path had been hell, but it brought him heaven.

“Pass the salad!” Sam asked at Daniel’s side, Johnny blinked and looked around until he found the bowl. He took it and passed it to her, the girl took it distractedly as she was listening to Carmen’s story about Christmas when Miguel was a child. “Thanks, daddy!”

“Welcome.” He answered, sighing as he looked at Daniel whose eyes were wide open.

Johnny frowned.

“What?” He said at the same time he noticed the entire table was suddenly quiet. 

He looked at everyone else, frowns and smiles on their faces, a very confused expression on Anthony’s face,then— Sam gasped at the same time he jumped on his chair, looking at her with wide open eyes.

The girl had both hands over her mouth, eyes so big they looked pale blue and holy shit, holy shit, holy shit—

Someone was laughing on the other side of the table, slowly making everyone else laugh as Robby shook his head and glared at Samantha.

“Stealing my dad?!” He said, immediately making everyone else laugh harder. Sam’s face was red, her neck—she was all red and nervous, but also about to laugh. “Right in front of my salad?!”

The joke worked. The entire table was finally laughing, and Johnny shook his head as the girl tried her best to apologize, saying she was distracted, all the things he already knew had happened—it was like when little kids called their teacher ‘mom’, a complete accident.

One that put tears out of laughter on his face, unable to stop and making everyone else laugh for entire minutes until, eventually, it slowed down and the teasing started. Nobody let go of it, even with Anthony’s awkward stares, Daniel’s little smile every time they looked at each other.

But for the first time, the man took his hand under the table instead of the other way around. He let his head rest on Johnny’s shoulder as they talked to Bobby and Jen, didn’t move away when Johnny risked it to kiss the top of his head before turning back to listen to his friends.

Moon took a photo of them with her polaroid camera before midnight, and when the clock gave in to the new year, Johnny saw as his son kissed his girlfriend, and Sam kissed Miguel.

He turned when he felt Daniel’s fingers on his cheek, the man smiled at him before closing his eyes and Johnny immediately closed the distance between them. 

They knew there were people in the house, their children and his sister, the friends he grew up with, almost all the important people in their lives, right there where they could see Johnny and Daniel immersed in their own world, kissing slowly as if they had all the time in the world.

Maybe they did. 

He could feel the cold of Daniel’s ring on his cheek, the warmth of his body so close to him, the smell he now identified as home. 

“Happy New Year, John.” Daniel murmured against his lips, Johnny smiled at him.

“Happy New Year, baby.”

Day 362

January 1st, 2020

There was glitter on the floor after the party.

Daniel sighed, watching the little mess they made, feeling the night on his shoulders and eyes, tired but happy. So, so calm.

Jimmy and Jeny had left with their kids first, still going to Jimmy’s parents to at least say Happy New Year to the family. They had hugged Johnny and Daniel, wishing them the best of the years, thanking them for opening their home to them, promising to come back sometime soon.

When Bobby and Jen announced to go, Daniel was left with the woman and their boy on the street, Johnny and Bobby deep in conversation and laughter for entire minutes at the entrance, unable to say goodbye until the woman reminded them they had a long way back home the next day.

“Now, what a ring.” Jen commented, taking Daniel’s hand. 

He cleared his throat, willing himself to not panic. “Uh, it’s my Christmas gift.”

“That Johnny…” She smiled wide, looking at him as she let go of his hand. “I’m so happy to see him like this, you know? All in.”

Daniel smiled at her, taking a deep breath as he remembered the look on Sam’s face when she realized what he was wearing in his hand. She had looked up at him, a million questions on her face, but said nothing at the end. 

For the rest of the night, he had only gotten looks but nobody had commented on it until now.

“Well, since I’m all in too— I would be really mad if he wasn’t.”

The woman laughed, Bobby and Johnny finally walked towards them, and together they said goodbye. More promises were made, and Johnny sighed deeply as he saw the car go. 

Daniel took his hand, the feeling of his fingers around Johnny’s one of his favorite things in the world. His partner looked at him, bringing Daniel’s hand to his lips and kissing it, before walking back into the house.

There was glitter on the floor after the party.

Shoes in the hall with the girls’ laughs as they ran into the backyard to keep taking pictures. 

Polaroids on Daniel’s expensive coffee table, their friends and their kids and them from the night before. 

Empty bottles and plastic cups.

Carmen and Rosa getting ready to go as Shannon walked into the bathroom.

Arms wrapped around his waist from behind, his hands went immediately to Johnny’s as he looked back. The man kissed his cheek and he couldn’t help but smile.

“How was it?”

“Oh, I think we succeeded in our first time as hosts.” Daniel answered, Johnny rolled his eyes but put his chin on his shoulder. “Can’t wait to tell my mom, she’s going to be so proud.”

The man laughed, the vibrations of it made him shudder nicely. 

“So,” Daniel started, eager to talk about it , “you are daddy now!”

“Fuck,” Johnny let go of Daniel, he laughed and watched him walk, running away from the inevitable conversation they were to have, “leave us alone!”

He shook his head, following him outside where the teens and Claire were making a circle while holding cups filled with the sparkling cider they had bought for them. They were making toasts, and it was Robby’s turn.

“Here’s to my real friends.” He said, Miguel rolled his eyes. “Here’s to my lady.” Moon smiled, moving her shoulders playfully before Robby went back to his little speech. 

Johnny sighed, leaning his back on the sliding door, Daniel stood at his side, passing an arm around his waist. 

“Here’s to my mom, who’s been listening to all my college bullshit this winter break.” They laughed. “Here’s to my dad, who is creeping on us over there.” Johnny shook his head, Daniel laughed at his side. “Here’s to the other dad I’m stealing since mine was stolen tonight.”

“Oh my God!” Sam groaned, making everyone laugh. “Cut it out!”

Daniel bit his bottom lip, looking at Robby’s little smile.

“For a great new year.” He lifted his cup, “Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

He sighed, seeing them drink and then laugh. Robby left the circle to walk towards them, smiling at his dad when Johnny passed an arm over his shoulders.

“Are you taking Moon and your mom to their places?”

“Mhm.” He exclaimed, “Sam says she’ll take Miguel and his family to theirs. You think I can convince them to cramp themselves into the car and let me take them? I don't want Sam to drive alone at this hour, and since her loyal companion is asleep on the couch inside..." Daniel looked in the mentioned direction, finding Anthony fast asleep where Robby had said. He was still a kid. He couldn't help but smile. “You think you can help me convince your new daughter with that?”

Johnny rolled his eyes, pushing Robby against his body as the boy laughed. “You’re such a little shit, just like your mother…”

“Yeah, well—“

“Come on.” Johnny said, kissing the top of Robby’s head before walking to the rest of the kids and Claire.

Daniel smiled, looking at him talking to Sam, his daughter making faces as she fought back their suggestions until Miguel intervened, saying he wouldn't like her to drive so late either.

Claire looked at him, walking inside with Daniel as the others seemed to all agree it was for the best that Robby drove everyone home.

“Soooooo tonight was incredible!” The girl said, Daniel smiled at her and nodded. “And you had nothing to freak out about like I told you.”

He had been worried about the ring, not sure of what he was going to say about it if he was asked. What had happened when Johnny gave it to him, he— he meant it, but they hadn’t talked about it beyond that.

Was it something they truly wanted? Could they go ahead with it?

Claire pushed her hips against him playfully. “Ground control to major LaRusso…”

“Sorry.” He chuckled. “I’m just… so tired. I’m going to sleep all day once we clean a little around.”

“Ugh, leave it for the morning!”

“No, I don’t want ants around…” He complained. 

Everyone went inside, Johnny closed the sliding door. Daniel and Johnny had cleaned outside earlier, the tables were gone, trash was in bags outside. Robby and Moon had been watching them with something in their eyes, their hands joined as they sat on the dock, just looking. He blinked the image away, wondering what it meant.

Robby told his mother and the Diaz what they were gonna do, he saw the women nod and stand up, ready to say goodbye for the night.

It was almost four in the morning when he looked at his watch, Claire took his hand and made him stop near the annex to the kitchen in the dining room.

“Everyone who was here tonight loves you and my brother,” she said with her sweet tone, “and all of us want you guys to be happy. Whatever you decide to do with your relationship, as long as you two are okay with it, we will support you.” Claire smiled at him. “Okay?”

Daniel blinked a couple of times, looking at her. 

The weight of the ring had kept him grounded when he opened the door to his mother on Christmas Eve. She had been the only one to ask, had looked unsure when he said it was just a gift, for his anxiety as Johnny had explained, he even went as far as to tell her why.

It had kept him calm during dinner, Shannon seeming to not even notice it, Claire eying it and saying nothing, just giving her brother a thumbs up before Robby finally noticed it. He had blinked a couple of times and literally just shrugged before hugging his dad to welcome him into the apartment.

He had hugged him, too. Smiling at him as they walked in, kept making more and more jokes about them being his Karate Dads as said on their group chat, about stepfathers and stepsiblings, and unusual families that out of nowhere simply work.

Claire was right. 

Whatever happened now, they weren’t alone.

They said goodnight little after. Daniel watched as the women and Miguel waved at him, going out the house and laughing as they all tried to get into his car. The door closed and Sam sighed, turning around to look at Johnny.

“Uh,” she started, Daniel moved his head to one side, “I hope things aren’t awkward… you know, after what happened. I— I was distracted. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Kid, relax. It’s okay.” The man answered, then sighed. “Come on,” he extended his arm, Sam smiled and went to hug him. For Johnny’s surprised expression, Daniel realized that wasn’t his intention, but he slowly hugged her back. “Hey, how do you like that dress?”

“Oh!” She separated from him, stepping back a few to twirl where she was standing. “I love it! It fit perfectly and it was a big success, everyone asked about it!”

Johnny laughed, taking in the sight of her before putting a hand on her back, guiding her inside the house. His daughter smiled at him when their eyes met, she ran until she could wrap her arms around him, and Daniel hugged her back.

Seeing her so happy lately felt like a small victory of some sort. She wished them goodnight after, and went up the stairs to the room she’d be sharing with Claire for the night.

“That was nice.” Daniel told him, Claire passed them both wishing them goodnight. “Sooo—”

“Don’t start.” Johnny warned him, walking into the living room to put off the music and start to clean up.

He could tell Johnny had been honest with Sam, it was truly okay. Daniel smiled, thinking of how close those two had gotten, the way it all started with Johnny passing her popcorn while watching movies in this same living room.

Now Johnny bought her dresses she shared on instagram. She sent him pictures of snakes in the zoo with similar names to his. He asked her to print pictures of him, she gave him photos of him for his wallet. 

“Please don’t ever become strangers whose laugh I could recognize anywhere, let’s hope we can be here again next year. And the next, and the next, and the next.” Claire had said when they were making a toast after the countdown. 

Daniel had the sound of their kids laughing with Johnny in his head, engraved in his heart forever— he hoped to never lose it, he’ll never want to get up again if he did.

“Kid, time to go to bed.” Johnny shook Anthony’s shoulder gently, but the boy didn’t wake up. Instead he turned around on the couch. Johnny sighed. “Come on!”

“He’s not gonna wake up!” Daniel warned him, Johnny looked at him. “He sleeps like the dead.”

“Damn.” He sighed. “Do we leave him here?”

“Nah, I’ll carry him when we are over. Let him sleep.”

Johnny nodded, walking away to take the bag where they had been putting all empty bottles in. Daniel went to help, taking another bag for the trash and thinking how to clean up all the glitter Moon and Sam had thrown around with their belated Christmas gifts to each other.

He carried Anthony like when he was just a toddler as Johnny got the lights off and made sure the door was locked, going upstairs behind Daniel. They left the kid in his room, making sure to leave space for Robby once he got back from the street, and then went into their room.

“Did anyone ask you about the ring?”

“No, but everyone was looking at it.” He said, he closed the door behind Johnny when the man got in. “Except— Moon gasped when she saw it, yelled congratulations, didn’t you see it?”

Johnny snorted, getting into the bathroom. “Yeah, I saw. Gonna be honest, I was expecting you to freak out.” He went out and smiled at him, he looked soft in the glow of the bathroom’s light. “You managed it like a pro.”

“See? I’m not that bad anymore.” Daniel said, taking off his jacket. He needed to sleep. “All I needed was alcohol, the privacy of my home, and a ring!”

He heard Johnny chuckled, the water on the sink running, then the man brushing his teeth.

Daniel sighed, finishing to undress and starting to put his pajamas on. He got into the bathroom, kissing Johnny’s bicep before yawning and turning to clean his face and his teeth. He splashed water on his face as Johnny cleaned his toothbrush, then passed him to get ready for bed.

Once clean, Daniel got the light off and closed the door behind him, immediately walking to the bed where he lay down with his head on Johnny’s chest as the man checked his phone. Daniel did the same, ignoring all messages of Happy New Year to go directly to answer his closer family, then check the bunch of pictures the kids had tagged him in on instagram.

Johnny laughed under him, Daniel looked up at his face.

“What’s up?”

“So, you remember Robby and Moon looking at us in the backyard after we put away the rentals?”

“Mhm?”

The man showed him his phone. Daniel blinked, looking at Moon’s instagram post of a picture Johnny had taken of her and Robby in front of the Christmas tree in their living room. He scrolled down to read the caption and finally understood why Johnny had laughed.

Maybe I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day one day, too

“These two…” Daniel laughed, Johnny took his phone away, leaving it on his bedside table. “They’ve been together for a while, uh?”

“Yeah, well.” Johnny put a hand on his hair, gently caressing it. “In spite of what it looked like before, the truth is that we Lawrences do long relationships when we are happy.”

Daniel looked up at him with a smile. It was now or never. “Long enough to get married again?”

His partner didn’t look at him, didn’t say anything. He just stopped for a few seconds, eyes lost somewhere in front of him. Daniel was about to take it back when Johnny took his hand, looking at the ring there.

The man caressed the band with his thumb, laced their fingers together before dropping their hands over Daniel’s chest. He caressed Daniel’s hair again, looking down to his face.

“Would you?” He asked. Daniel blinked a couple of times, genuinely thinking about it. “Obviously, not… right now. Maybe next December. Or, next year. I don’t know.”

“Would I what?” Daniel said with a smile, Johnny narrowed his eyes at him. “Come on, work for it a little.”

“I already gave you a ring.”

“And you said it didn’t mean anything!”

“I—” Johnny shook his head. “Forget it, you’re insufferable.”

“And you’re into it, goldilocks, you’ve always been.”

Johnny looked down at him, suddenly serious. Daniel blinked a couple of times, hoping he hadn’t upset him or anything. Maybe he shouldn’t joke with this, with something so important.

But the man leaned down, kissing his lips softly before looking at him in the eyes again.

“That’s true.” Johnny murmured. “I think you’ve been in my head for a very long time.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Johnny took away the hair on his forehead, sighing. “Would you marry me, Daniel?”

He hadn’t actually expected him to say it. The words sounded sweet in his voice, the weight of the ring grounding him as he made up his mind, finally agreeing with his heart.

Once Mr. Miyagi told Daniel about the Red String of Fate, a belief the japanese have of a thread joining you to another person across time and space, making each other walk through life until they could find each other.

Soulmates . People with such strong connections, something was tying them to each other even if they didn’t realize it.

It didn’t matter how and when, you’ll always find them.

What Daniel had with Johnny had been building itself for years, even when none of them realized. He knew now that an invisible string tied them together, and he knew it was golden like daylight.

As a young man, Daniel always thought the best he could do was to build something for himself.

He was taught many things throughout life until he became an adult and thought there was nothing else to learn anymore. He’d been wrong, and saw his castle crumble until he was left with a couple of bricks, and a whole new path to walk through.

Lucky for him he didn’t have to walk it alone, he didn’t have to build all by himself.

He learned the best he could do for his home was to let in the light, open the curtains and let it in.

“Yes.”

Just let it in.