Work Text:
“So, Patton,” Janus said. He took a deep breath and fiddled with the small box in his pocket. “We’ve been dating for quite some time now, and I mean, we’re living together.” He pulled the box out. “You know, there are a lot of… um, tax benefits? That can come from… getting married.” Janus sighed and looked at himself in the mirror. “That’s stupid, Janus. He’s been married before. You’ve been married before. Fucking tax benefits, why the hell would I even say that?”
Janus shook his head and started over. "Patton. I love you, you love me, and I'm starting to sound like the damn Barney song."
"Hey, Dad?"
Janus jumped and tried to hide the ring box behind him as he turned around. "Jesus Christ, Virgil don't sneak up on me like that."
Virgil just snorted. "Whatcha doing?"
"None of your business."
"Is it drugs?"
Janus sighed. "It's not drugs."
"Oh, are you planning on proposing to Patton?"
"What? No! I- what would give you that idea?"
"The fact that I've been listening for the past five minutes. Tax benefits, really?"
Janus huffed. “I’m trying here.”
“Come on dad, you’ve written proposal fic before.”
“Not everything has to relate to fanfiction, Virgil.”
“I’m just saying if you can make two characters propose to each other in a cute way, you can do it with Patton.”
“It’s different.”
“Oh yeah? How?”
“He could say no.”
Virgil just looked at Janus.
“What’s that look for?”
“He’s head over heels for you, Dad. There’s no way he’s saying no.”
Janus sighed and sat on the bed. “You’re sure.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Also, when are you planning on doing this? I wanna be there to see you make an absolute fool of yourself.”
“I’m planning on doing it at our anniversary dinner, which is strictly no kids allowed.”
“But Dad,” Virgil whined.
“No buts. You’re on babysitting duty.”
“Oh come on.”
“I’ll pay you.”
Virgil perked up a little. “You will?”
Janus waved a hand. “We’ve got to induct you into the capitalist labor machine somehow.”
“Hell yeah!”
“I won’t even make you put a penny in the swear jar for that one. What do you want to be paid?”
“My rate’s five dollars an hour,” Virgil said with a smirk. “Per kid.”
“You want me to pay you fifteen dollars an hour?”
“I want you to pay me twenty dollars an hour. I’m a kid too.”
“Yes, but you’re not babysitting yourself,” Janus pointed out.
“Ugh fine, fifteen.”
“You want me to pay you what minimum wage workers have been pushing for for years?”
“I mean, yeah. You want to be a fair and ethical employer, don’t you?” Virgil asked, his eyes pleading.
“Alright, fine.”
“Yes!”
Janus rolled his eyes. “Now get out of my room.”
Patton followed Logan into the jewelry shop, biting his cheek. He hadn’t looked at rings in forever, and even then he hadn’t really put much thought into it.
“Welcome in,” the owner said. “I’m Gus, what can I help you boys with? Looking for something for Mom?”
“Well, no actually,” Patton said. “I’m looking to propose to my boyfriend, and I heard that you had a lot of male engagement rings here?”
Gus grinned. “That I do! Right this way.” He led Patton and Logan over to a display where there were tons of rings. “What’re you thinking for him?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t looked for rings since I proposed to this one’s mom,” Patton said, patting the top of Logan’s head. “I’m honestly kinda overwhelmed.”
“That’s perfectly alright. We can start simple. What kind of gem would you be looking at?”
“I mean, diamonds are traditional, right?”
Logan perked up a little at that. “Oh, I’ve done some research on diamonds since Janus said that thing about the diamond industry being incredibly unethical. Have you ever heard of blood diamonds? They’re-”
“Okay!” Patton interrupted him. “No diamonds.”
Gus laughed a little. “No need to worry, little man, I’ve made sure all my diamonds are ethically sourced. No blood diamonds here.”
“Well, that’s good,” Logan said.
“But Janus probably wouldn’t like diamonds anyway,” Patton conceded.
“Janus, huh?” Gus said. He seemed to be thinking about something. “Not a name you hear often for a guy.”
“Is there something wrong about that?”
“Oh, no, nothing at all wrong about it.”
“It’s the name of the two-faced Roman god of doorways and liminal spaces,” Logan said.
“No kidding?”
“I’m definitely not kidding,” Logan said and continued talking about the god. Patton tuned him and Gus out as he wandered around the display, looking for something that Janus might like. He wasn’t sure how long it was before he heard Logan say, “Hey Dad, come look at this!”
Patton walked over to where Logan was pointing.
“See? It’s got two snakeheads like the god Janus has two faces. And Janus likes snakes.”
Patton looked at the ring Logan was pointing at. It was gold, and like Logan said, it had two snakeheads that wrapped around each other. Each had a gem embedded its head and it looked like something Janus would wear.
Gus walked over to the two. “This is one of our novelty rings, but if you think he’d like it, then it’ll totally work as an engagement ring.” He opened the case and pulled the tray it was in out of it. Patton pulled out the ring and looked at it. “Oh, it’s gorgeous. He’d absolutely love it.”
“Oh oh, I had an idea!” Logan said, bouncing a little. “What if you took the gems that are in it and replaced them with a blue and a yellow one? Because then it’d represent both my dad and Janus because those are their favorite colors.”
“You don’t have to,” Patton started to say.
“I’d love to, honestly,” Gus said.
“How much extra would that cost?”
“For you guys? I’ll do it for free.”
“You’d really do that?”
“Of course I would. If the kid thinks it’ll be good, then it’s gonna be good.”
Patton smiled. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem. Do you know his ring size?”
“Uh… I think it’s the same as mine? And I’m pretty sure I was an eleven.”
Gus nodded. “Size eleven, with a blue and yellow jewel. I can do that. When are you planning on proposing?”
“Well, our one year anniversary is coming up in about a month, so around then?”
“Gotcha. I should have it ready in about two weeks. Give you some time to practice.”
Patton laughed a little. “Perfect, thank you.”
Gus walked them to the back of the store and set up the payment for the ring. Patton and Logan walked out, and Patton took a deep breath. “That was a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be.”
“Really? Why?”
Patton shrugged. “Like I said, I haven’t been ring shopping since I proposed to your mom, which was like, thirteen years ago.”
“Right, yeah.”
Patton stopped walking. “Everything okay, kiddo?”
“Yeah, I just…” Logan tilted his head side to side as he tried to figure out what to say. “I just sometimes miss Mom when you talk about her.”
Patton opened his arms, and Logan hugged Patton. “Kiddo, you know I’m not replacing her, right?”
Logan nodded. “And I know that Janus makes you happy, but it’s hard to not miss her, even though she’s been gone so long.”
“I know, kiddo. I miss her too, but this is a good thing.”
“Yeah, I know. You and Janus are happy, so I’m happy for you.”
“Be good!” Patton called as the door closed behind them.
“If I know Remus, we’re going to come home in an hour with a call from the fire department,” Janus said right as a crashing sound came from inside.
Patton winced. “Please don’t make me regret not hiring Marisol.”
“I make no promises.” Janus adjusted his bowtie, then gestured for Patton to go ahead.
Patton sighed and did, subtly feeling his pocket just to make sure that the ring box was still in there. “Virgil knows not to let Remus near the stove, right?”
“Well if Virgil doesn’t, Logan does.”
“Lord help us.”
Janus laughed and opened the passenger door for Patton. “Relax, love, I’m sure everything will be fine.”
Patton nodded and got in the car. He buckled up and smoothed down his tie as Janus got in on the driver’s side.
They drove to the restaurant and were seated at their reserved table. The waiter set down a couple of glasses of wine and handed them their menus, giving them a bit to decide. Patton thanked him and smiled at Janus.
Janus smiled back and looked down at the menu. “The chicken parmesan looks good. What are you thinking about getting?”
Patton shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure.”
God, this was going to be an awkward evening.
It wasn’t long before they decided what they wanted and ordered. The waiter took their menus, and they sat there, both trying to come up with something to say.
“So, uh, we’re alone for once,” Patton said with a small laugh. “It’s nice.”
“Yeah, it is.” Janus felt his pocket to make sure that the box was still there. “As much as I love the boys, it’s nice to get away every once in a while.”
“Yeah.”
They talked for a little bit about PTA, things the kids said, other things of little to no consequence. Janus could feel his nervousness rising, but at the same time, just being around Patton made him feel a little more at ease.
The waiter came back and set their food down in front of them. Janus nodded at him while Patton uttered a quiet thank you.
Janus sipped at his wine to steady his nerves. Should he get down on his knee? He hadn't exactly been planning on it, but if it made the moment that much more special for Patton…
“I wanted to apologize,” Patton said.
Janus put his glass down. “What for?”
“Just… being so distant, over the last couple weeks. I just have had something on my mind, and I… I wanted to bring it up if that’s okay?”
Now or never. If Patton was about to break up with him, Janus would rather look like a fool for trying than not try at all.
“Actually, I have something I wanted to ask. Would… would you too terribly mind if I went first?”
Patton smiled softly, seeming to relax a little. “Of course, go ahead.”
Janus took a deep breath and pulled the ring box out of his pocket, setting it in his lap, still out of Patton’s view. “Well, Patton. It’s been… exactly a year since I found you halfway to getting alcohol poisoning in a gay bar.”
Patton laughed a little. “And I probably would have, if you hadn’t come by when you did.”
Janus smiled and kept going. “And since then, it’s been… absolutely crazy, trying to figure out how to heal, how to be together, how to raise four boys, and honestly? It has been… probably the best year of my life.”
“Aw, Janus,” Patton held his hand out, and Janus took it with his free hand for a moment before pulling back to hold the ring box.
“Patton, I don’t know how I would have made it through this year without you. And… if I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to go another year without you again. So, um, basically, what I’m trying to say is…” Janus pulled the box up and opened it, revealing a silver ring with a sapphire heart set into it. “Would you marry me?”
Patton’s eyes widened a little and he started to laugh. Janus pulled the ring back. “What’s so funny?”
“No, it’s not bad, I promise,” Patton said. He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a small box, popping it open. Janus felt himself relax, and he laughed a little as well.
“Oh my god, Patton.” Janus switched ring boxes with Patton and looked at the ring that was meant for him.
“Oh Janus, this is beautiful!” Patton said, causing Janus to look up from the ring.
“You really think so?”
Patton nodded and put it on. "Where did you get this?"
"You know August's?"
Patton laughed again. "Of course we both went to August's."
Janus laughed a little as well as he pulled his own ring out of the box. “Great minds think alike.” He looked at the ring, turning it around in his hands. “Patton, this is beautiful.”
“Well, if I’m gonna be honest, I can’t take all the credit. Logan picked it out.”
“I’ll be sure to thank him when we get home.”
Patton smiled a little, but it was that one smile that made Janus know that he had started scheming something.
“What are you planning, Patton,” Janus asked.
“I mean, we hardly ever get any time with just each other, and we do have a little extra money…”
“You don’t want to go home after dinner, do you?”
Patton’s mischievous smile turned into an outright grin and he leaned in a little closer, taking Janus’s hand. “Do you?”
Janus shook his head. “No, not really.”
It was ten the next morning when Janus pulled up in front of the house and looked at Patton. “You ready to tell them?”
“Of course.”
“I think the only ones who didn't know already were Roman and Remus.”
“Really?”
“Virgil caught me practicing what I was going to say.”
Patton laughed and Janus rolled his eyes even as his heart seemed to skip a beat like it did when they first got together.
He started to unbuckle his seatbelt just as Patton said, “He looks mad.”
Janus looked up and saw Virgil standing on the front porch looking absolutely pissed. “Did we tell him we weren’t coming home?”
“I’m pretty sure we texted him.”
Janus sighed and opened his door.
“And just where the hell have you two been all night?” Virgil demanded.
“Did we not text you?” Janus asked.
“Yeah, just some shit about ‘staying the night somewhere else.’ You left me alone with Roman and Remus.”
“You had Logan,” Janus said as Patton mumbled something about the swear jar.
“Logan was doing his homework, leaving me to fend for myself all night.”
“Oh no, whatever did you do?”
“I suffered, Dad. That’s what I did. You’d better be paying me hazard pay for this.”
“Hazard pay.” Janus snorted. “Where did you get hurt?”
Virgil pulled up his hoodie sleeve and held his arm out for Janus and Patton to see. “Remus bit me.”
Janus leaned in to see what Virgil was talking about. “I don’t see any bite marks. And Remus stopped biting you when he was three.”
“You clearly aren’t around when Remus bites me.”
“If Remus bit you, you would have bled, remember?”
“He would have what?” Patton asked, somehow still shocked that Remus could and would have done something like that.
Virgil pulled his hoodie sleeve down as Janus explained, “When Remus was little, his teeth grew in kind of sharp, so when he bit you, he could draw blood.”
“Lovely.”
Janus smiled a little and kissed Patton on the cheek. “Don’t worry, he stopped biting people years ago.”
“Alright then.”
“So did you ask him?” Virgil asked.
Patton smiled and held his left hand up. “Yup!”
“Did he say anything about tax benefits?”
“Did he--”
“Go get your brothers in the living room,” Janus said before Patton could finish the question.
Virgil did a little salute before going inside.
“Tax benefits?” Patton asked.
Janus ran a hand over his face. “Not important. Let’s just go in.”
“Wait, one more thing before we go in?”
Janus turned to face Patton, who leaned in and kissed him. Janus melted into it, keeping it soft and sweet before pulling away.
“How do you take my breath away every time?”
“Talent,” Patton said with a small smirk.
“Hey now.”
Patton laughed and walked into the house. Janus shook his head with a fond smile and followed him in.
All four boys were waiting on the couch.
Logan was playing with his Rubik’s cube while Roman and Remus were seeming to have some sort of silent argument with each other. Virgil was glaring again.
“Good morning, boys,” Janus said.
“Morning, Dad,” Virgil said. Roman and Remus looked up, while Logan continued to focus on his Rubik’s cube.
“Logan, kiddo, can you put the cube down for a bit? We’ve got something kinda important to talk about.” Patton asked. Logan looked up and put the cube to the side.
Janus smiled and took Patton’s hand. “Patton and I are engaged.”
“En-gaged?” Remus asked, tilting his head.
“It means we’re gonna get married,” Patton said.
Roman’s eyes immediately lit up and he raised his hand so fast that he nearly fell off the couch.
Janus laughed a little. “You know you don’t have to raise your hand to ask a question in the house, Roman.”
“I know, I just-- Can I please wear a pretty dress to your wedding, please?” Roman asked.
“Of course, kiddo,” Patton said with a smile.
And then Remus looked like he’d had an idea. “Dad, can I please have one free swear word where I don’t have to put a quarter in the jar?”
Janus arched an eyebrow. “A quarter, huh?”
“Please?” Remus asked, putting on his best puppy dog face. Damn it, he had to be learning it from Roman.
“Alright, one free swear.”
Remus cheered.
“But,” Janus said, “if you don’t say exactly what I think you’re about to say, you have to put two quarters in the jar.”
“Okay!”
Janus leaned back. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Remus grinned and said, “Does that mean you’re gonna be Mr. Motherfucker too?”
Janus sighed and said, “Congratulations, Remus. You said exactly what I thought you were going to say.”
“Fuck yeah!”
“Quarter, you already used your freebie.”
Remus groaned.
Patton was standing there, blinking in shock. "I can't believe I almost forgot about that.”
Janus laughed a little. “I nearly did as well, but the look on Remus’s face reminded me.”
Patton laughed a little as well, then kissed Janus on the cheek. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“I do. And I love you too.”
“Gross, get a room!” Virgil said.
“Virgil, those are our dads,” Logan said, looking quite scandalized.
“They have a room, don’t they?” Roman asked. “Why would they need to get a new one?”
This set all of the kids off, talking over each other as Logan tried to make sure that Remus and Virgil didn't explain exactly what Virgil meant by ‘get a room.’
Janus looked at Patton, and they smiled tiredly at each other. They had four crazy boys, but Janus knew that he wouldn’t trade them or Patton for anything in the world.