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"So you guys remember Mr. Sanders, right?" Janus asked casually.
Virgil looked up from his homework. "The asshole you hate with every fiber of your being?"
"That motherfucker!" Remus shouted.
Janus blinked. "I really need to stop swearing around you kids."
"No shit, Dad." Virgil leaned back in his chair. "What about Mr. Sanders?"
"He and I have--" Janus hesitated for a moment-- "started… dating."
"Dating?"
Remus shot his hand in the air. "Ooh, I know what dating is!"
Janus sighed. "What is dating, Remus?"
"It's like when you were at work, and Virgil was at school, and Mommy would bring a guy home, and put me in my room then go into your room and make loud noises together!"
Janus opened his mouth to respond but didn't even know what to say.
"Holy shit," Virgil said. "Who told you that was dating?"
"Mommy did! She said she was dating him, but it was a secret and not to tell Daddy."
Janus took a deep breath. "I am going to call your mother."
"Well first," Virgil said, "you're gonna tell us what the hell you mean by 'I started dating Patton Sanders.' You hate him, don't you?"
Another deep breath. Janus should have been more prepared for that question, but Remus had caught him off guard. "We managed to have a discussion, and we realized that we don't actually hate each other."
"Wasn't Mr. Sanders married to a woman? Is he bi?"
"I don't know Patton's sexuality exactly, all I know is that he likes me enough to date me. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Try not to burn the apartment building down." And with that, Janus walked out onto the balcony, closing the door behind him.
"Hey asshole," Angela said when she answered her phone. Janus sighed. It was only four-thirty in the afternoon and he could tell that she was already drunk.
"Do you want to know what Remus just told me?"
"What?"
"He told me that you'd bring someone over into our room, into our bed, and, in his words, 'make loud noises together.'"
"Kids say the damnedest things, don't they?"
"Kids say…" Janus huffed and started pacing. "Alright, it's one thing when you're cheating and doing god knows what on your own time in other places, but to fuck someone in our home with a goddamn child in the other room?"
"Hey, it's not my fault the kid's a little snitch."
Janus huffed. "You just… you're calling him a snitch? He's six goddamn years old, he's gonna tell everyone he talks to everything he knows!"
"Yeah, well-"
"He's your son, Angie!"
"He's yours too."
"I'll believe that when I see the paternity test."
"God, you're still hung up over that? I told you, I'm like… fifty percent sure he's yours."
Janus turned around and was about to respond when he saw Virgil standing in the doorway.
"I gotta go." Janus hung up the phone without waiting to hear the response.
"Paternity test?" Virgil asked quietly.
"Virgil-"
"Are you not Remus' dad?"
"Come out here and close the door."
Virgil did, then held his arms close to himself. "Are you?"
Janus sighed. "I… I honestly don't know. Your mother says that she's fifty percent sure, which doesn't inspire confidence. But no matter what, I'm still going to take care of him like he's mine."
"Does that mean you might not really be my dad?"
"Your mom had a paternity test done on you to prove to me that I was the father of her baby, so I'm actually your father, I promise."
"Why?"
"Because I was still in high school when she had you, and she wanted to be sure that I would commit to her."
"And Remus?"
"I asked her to get one when I found out she was going to have him, but she refused. I think she was afraid I'd leave her if I found out he wasn't mine."
"Would you have?"
"Do you really want the answer to that?" Janus asked.
Virgil opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head.
Janus looked at Virgil softly. "I try not to talk bad about your mom to you guys. I want you to form your own opinions about her. But there are things she's done that you and Remus aren't old enough to know about yet."
Virgil chuckled a little. "I think it's a little too late for Remus not to know about her sleeping with other guys."
Janus nodded. "A little. Look, I wasn't planning on telling you guys about Remus until you were both much older and I was able to know for sure. So if you could not bring it up to him?"
Virgil nodded. "I won't say a word."