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Lloyd was afraid of being alone.
He had no one when he was in Darkley's Boarding School for Bad Boys, save for Brad who had put fire ants in his bag. They were all so cruel to him. He remembers wishing his mom hadn't left him here, and that he had parents who loved him and stayed around for him.
It made him mad that he didn't get to have what other kids had.
When he finally befriends Pythor, Lloyd couldn't be happier. He's never had a friend before.
"I thought you were my friend." He clearly thought wrong. Lloyd should've known to never trust a snake. Maybe if his father was there, he wouldn't have made that mistake.
When the ninja take him in, it was hard to let go of the childish tactics he carried with him so proudly. He didn't think he'd be standing in the middle of four glowing weapons as his father and the ninja stared at him in awe.
Never had he ever felt so jealous of the other kids playing soccer down below as his childhood got sucked out from under him. He had to constantly train all day, waiting restlessly for the day the prophesied green ninja would defeat his own father, Master of Destruction, Lord Garmadon.
"You left me for so long, where did you go?"
"You don't need to be like me, Lloyd. Your uncle has a plan for you, and even though it may be to stop me one day, we have to follow our own destiny."
"Then why don't you just leave now ... Maybe it would've been better if you hadn't come back at all."
How he wished to take that back. He wishes for many things.
He wished he hadn't felt so much sympathy as he stood before the Overlord, limping. His father was still in there, Lloyd has to remember.
When Lord Garmadon is purified, and his mother and father hold him close in their arms, he doesn't feel so alone anymore.
He felt complete.
But destiny had other plans, it seemed. Why wouldn't it let him rest, let him be happy? He already had to watch Zane sacrifice his life for Lloyd and his brothers.
As he watches his father, his teacher, give his life for the city, for Lloyd, he realizes he's never even said goodbye.
"I yearned to make the world in my image. I never realized I already had, in you."
Lloyd knows he's not gone, but seeing Garmadon chained up in the Cursed Realm, with no way of getting out?
All alone?
Oh, it hurt much more. His father was ready to sacrifice his life over and over again for the sake of Ninjago.
"You must leave here and destroy the Preeminent. Save Ninjago. Save the realms."
"But if I destroy it, it could destroy you."
"Whatever happens to me, wherever I am, I will always be with you."
At least he still had his mother, his brothers and Nya.
And Wu?
As if there wasn't enough on his shoulders, Lloyd had to take the responsibility of replacing Wu. The sensei was irreplaceable, Lloyd wasn't worth much, he knew that.
Lloyd didn't want to feel like this anymore. He didn't want to feel anymore.
Harumi was doing just the opposite.
Gentle brushes against the hand, soft-spoken words. Lloyd guesses green must be her favorite color too.
Was he so needy of human affection that he believed the lies the jade princess fed him?
Yes, yes he was.
"The greatest villain is the one you never knew was there in the first place ... You're the Quiet One?"
"Do you realize how silly you're sounding. I ... I love you."
"No, I can't let you bring my father back. Not like that."
Because even after taking her knife and plunging it into Lloyd's heart (metaphorically speaking, anyways), he truly cared for her.
Even though she had resurrected his dead father. Even though she clearly did not love him.
Lloyd stares at the old photo of him and his dad. He can't turn him back, his father is long gone, Lloyd knows that, but he has to cling onto any hope he can get, right?
If they won't let him confront Garmadon, he'll just have to go alone. By himself.
"I've saved you once. I'll save you again."
"I've played many roles. Worn many masks. Father. Husband. Brother. Teacher. But only one was summoned back. Destroyer!"
Pain. There's so much pain. Purple against green. Destruction against energy. Father against son.
Lloyd can feel his power draining.
"You wouldn't hurt me. Your son."
"I have no son."
He feels helpless as he flies through the walls and lands on the ground.
His picture. It's gone too.
But it wasn't over. In fact it was far from over. He knows from the way Harumi's dangling him, forcing him to watch as the Bounty was crushed to pieces.
With Cole, Kai, Jay, baby Wu, and Zane still inside.
He watched them get crushed along with the Bounty.
And for the first time in a long time, he felt tears gliding down his cheek.
"The Resistance never quits"
Holding a fallen Skylor in his arms, he saw the first love of his life on the top of the building, the floor crumbling beneath her.
"Harumi." Locking gazes with her as she fell to her fate.
The resistance was far from over. Although the ninja were back, riding in with their dragons, the pain in his heart stays.
It stays with him when he reaches the isolated cell his father is kept in.
And although Lloyd told his father he was never coming back, he knew deep inside him, it was a lie. Lloyd can never stand being so alone anyways.
"That's you. Don't you remember?"
"Sentimentality is a weakness. If you wish to defeat the Oni, you would do well to banish such feelings."
"Fine. I didn't like that picture anyway."
He doesn't know why it hurts so much when his father doesn't stay to celebrate defeating the Oni. Or why it hurts even more when his father throws away the framed picture of them onto the ground, shattering it like Lloyd's heart.
"Cole was our friend. He was more than a friend, he was family. But you don't understand that, do you? What's the point? You're never gonna get it! Because you don't care about anyone, but yourself!"
"Every moment you delay risks our survival!"
"There's more to life than SURVIVING!"
He isn't surprised. Everyone seems to walk out of his life at one point or another.
You see, Lloyd was scared of being alone. He was deeply terrified of it.
But his broken heart could only be mended by tape so many times.