Chapter Text
[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 7:40 am, An. Mat. Lab 4]
COLETTE: Hi, Dr. Freeman, I’m Dr. Green. Could I speak to you outside?
A tall woman with a brown bob and a lab coat held a clipboard at the door to lab 4, looking at Gordon expectantly. He nodded and got up, following her down the hallway a few paces away from the door to the lab.
GORDON: [oh god she heard about Friday. I’m going to get killed- or worse, fired. Fuck fuck fuck oh fuck. She totally knows. She knows about how much I drank. She knows about my debts to Pepper. God, I owe that man so much money.]
COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, you’re aware your training course is this Wednesday?
Gordon nodded
GORDON: [oh MY GOD SHE TOTALLY KNOWS]
The scientist checked her clipboard, tapping her pen on it a few times before she looked back up at him.
COLETTE: have you been training? This course is quite intensive and being unprepared can lead to serious health risks. I would rather you train and fail your first try than go in blind and injure yourself.
Gordon looked at her quizzically.
GORDON: [I thought this was just like. An OSHA mandated lab safety course. Why is she talking about it like it’s a boot camp?]
COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, were you unaware of the physical requirements of the training course?
Gordon shook his head. He tried to look as innocent as possible, but his constantly neutral and/or stern face made it both weird and ineffective.
COLETTE: Well, I’ll fax you a copy of the requirements and I’ll push your slot back to Saturday morning, which is actually better in general, you have more time to train and I can get Donavan in early for his security course. Okay Mr. Freeman, I hope to see you ready and able on Saturday at 9 am.
Dr. Green gave a polite smile and turned on her heels.
[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 9 am, Breakroom]
Gordon poked the buttons on the vending machine, analyzing it.
GORDON: [stupid fucking machine, give me that fucked up coffee or I might get violent! You don’t think I can, I mean, no one thinks I can. But you haven’t seen me when I’m angry, I can-]
BARNEY: Machine keeping its goodies from ya? It’s like that.
GORDON: [JESUS]
Gordon jumped as he heard the familiar voice come up from behind him and watched Barney lean against the vending machine.
GORDON:[HOW CAN A GUY SO LOUD KEEP SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT?]
BARNEY: I know the secret, though. Watch this.
Barney tapped a quick beat on the side, snapped his fingers once and then punched the side of the machine, causing it to rattle before spitting out a canned coffee onto the floor. Gordon picked it up and watched barney wiggle his fingers at him.
BARNEY: magic!
Gordon rolled his eyes and scanned the machine before punching it in the same spot Barney did. The machine stayed silent.
BARNEY: no no no, Dr. Freeman! You have to do what I did. Couple taps and a snap, then it works. Magic!
Gordon sighed and tried to mimic what Barney had done, tapping out a beat, snapping, and then punching it. The machine clunked before ejecting a can. Gordon blinked in surprise as he picked it up and handed it to Barney.
BARNEY: I heard you’re doing the HEV suit course on Saturday. You've been training?
GORDON: [WHO TOLD YOU? WHO’S TALKING ABOUT ME? I’M NOT PARANOID, YOU’RE PARANOID! Wait, an H.E.- What suit?]
Gordon shook his head. Barney set down the can he had just cracked open and crossed his arms, a disappointed but concerned look on his face.
GORDON: Dr. Freeman, good form is important. You have to start working out now, or else you’ll pull something! I evaluated Otis during his Security Force Course renewal and it was NOT a pretty sight.
GORDON: [WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COURSE IS THIS?] what should I do to train?
BARNEY: Well, I helped Donavan train for his Course tomorrow, so I could meet you at the gym to help you get started.
GORDON: [I had ENOUGH social interaction on Friday to last me a MONTH, but it seems I don’t have a choice.] okay.
BARNEY: okay them, level 3 Training Facility at… well I get off at 4, so how’s 7?
GORDON: [NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE THIS.] sounds good.
[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 2 pm, Sector C Black Mesa Transit System Station.]
Gordon stood behind the yellow safety line on the ledge of the Tram Station, mostly ignoring the Guard that had greeted him only moments before. He turned around when he heard footsteps behind him just as the tram was arriving.
GINA: Freeman, hold the Tram.
It was Gina, the total catch Gordon had met the week before.
GORDON: [OH MY GOD IT’S HER, SHIT, WE’RE RIDING THE SAME TRAM, FUCK, THIS IS YOUR TIME FREEMAN.] Ms. Cross.
GINA: It’s Doctor Cross.
GORDON: [HOT DAMN… ASSERTIVE.]
Gina greeted the guard politely and got into the tram behind Gordon. She sat down near the door and took out a notebook and pen and started writing. Gordon held the top handrail to the left of Gina, trying not to stare but like, totally was.
GINA: It’s rude to stare, Freeman.
GORDON: Sorry.
Gordon was screaming internally, trying to find some way to say something, do something. but all he could do was look away from Gina and then let his eyes slowly wander back to her.
GINA: What do you want, Freeman?
GORDON: [MAKE SMALL TALK.] Why are you on the tram.
GINA: Is. Is that a question?
GORDON: yes.
GINA: Well, if you checked your memos more than once a day, you’d see I got moved to earlier shifts for the week.
GORDON: oh.
GINA: Yup.
Gina hadn’t even looked up at him yet. Gordon tried not to seem like he was fidgeting before he asked his question.
GORDON: Will you be on this Tram this week?
GINA: Yes, unfortunately.
GORDON: [WHAT the FUCK is that suppose to mean?] okay.
GINA: Yup.
The rest of the commute was in utter silence save for the rumbling of the tram and the noises of Black Mesa’s inner workings. Gordon’s stop finally came, and we walked over to the door.
GORDON: See you tomorrow.
GINA: I guess so.
Gina did not look up from her notebook.
Gordon stepped off the tram and it closed its doors and left through another tunnel.
GORDON: [ What a bitch… She’s just my type.]
[Monday, November 11th, 200X, around 7 pm, Level 3 Training Facility.]
Gordon changed into his supposed ‘work out’ clothes he had, which was his MIT ‘Ballroom Dance Club 199X’ shirt and sweatpants in the locker room and walked into the pool, which was the entrance to the training room. The Level 3 training room was actually training rooms, plural, including (but not limited to): the pool, general weight and machine area, tennis court, boxing ring and a room for classes. Gordon walked around, getting his bearings on the way out. Someone was in the pool doing laps in strong, efficient strokes, One man was teaching another proper boxing form, and Gordon waved back to Dr. Colette Green who was playing tennis with someone else he didn’t recognize.
He finally got to the biggest room- the so-called Ring, as it was a large circular room housing the many work out machines and weights, as well as the outermost ring on the floor being made into a 50-meter track. It was fairly empty, save for a pair of people spotting each other on the weights, and of course, Barney standing right in the middle on a weight bench, putting the dumbbell on it just as Gordon walked over to him. He sat up and stretched his shoulders as he waved.
GORDON: [I thought he was more of a … well you know, I thought he was fat. Damn, does he work out every day? Does he even need to, or do you think it’s like, a genetics thing? I wonder what kind of steroids he uses. Must be expensive.]
BARNEY: Gordon! Ready to get started? Nice shirt!
GORDON: [LISTEN, I HAD to join this dance club, I needed it to graduate. Winning silver in the championships means NOTHING THOUGH.] I’m ready.
Gordon felt like the pair on the other side of the room’s eyes were burning holes into him.
BARNEY: So, what’s your usual workout look like? do a lot of aerobics? Weights, maybe?
Gordon just shrugged.
GORDON: I haven’t worked out before. [I don’t think I’ve done any legitimate exercise since High School. Well, not if you count that time I ran from the cops. That was a whole triathlon and a half]
BARNEY: WHAT! Gordon! Okay… we have some work to do.
Gordon spent the next hour and a half getting helpfully yelled at by Barney, who was correcting his form, giving him water and directing his workout regimen. Gordon STILL didn’t understand why it was called a Training Course if it was more like a Physical Exam.
Gordon was holding a plank when Barney brought over what looked to be a weighted vest. He struggled to get his words out while Barney corrected his form with a foot on his behind, signaling him to bring it down.
GORDON: [FUCK NO, NOT INTO THIS] Barney… What… What is this training for, exactly?
BARNEY: Gordon, it’s for the HEV suit training course. You okay? Are you drinking enough water?
GORDON: [FUCK THIS OH MY GOD SHUT UP I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO BARF] what is HEV suit?
BARNEY: Okay break time Gordon, what do you MEAN you don’t know what an HEV suit is?
Gordon let his arms collapse beneath him and he felt like his lungs were about to shrivel up into little raisins. He shook his head, or at least, attempted to, as he also attempted to sit up.
BARNEY: Gordon, an HEV suit is a Hazardous Environment Suit. There’s three in Anomalous, and they’re in a room off of the Lockers. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen them.
GORDON: [ HEV…Hazardous Environment Vuit. No, wait. Hazardous En-VIRONment suit. What a dumb name.]
Gordon shook his head No as he gulped down the water.
BARNEY: Gordon, Listen to me, okay? You are going to have to put one on and do an obstacle course.
Gordon looked up at him, eyes wide and exhausted.
GORDON: [WHAT.]
BARNEY: Yes. it can limit your movement and it weighs a butt-load. This vest here is a little less than the weight of the chest piece. I’d know, I tried to get my HEV certification too! Wasn’t allowed to, though. Anyways, Gordon, you have six days to get ready.
Gordon was staring at the floor, his mind somehow blank and racing at the same time.
GORDON: [oh my god…. I’m gonna die… what the fuck… it’s over… what the hell...]
BARNEY: I didn’t pick you for a drama queen, Gordon. No one gets their Course Certification on the first try. Well, the Security Team has to, but we have to do a physical exam when we apply. Anyways! Go get some water and come back here, we’re getting to the good part now!
GORDON: [I think my legs are gonna give out under me, fuck this.]
[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 9 am, Black Mesa Academic Library.]
Barney walked into the Black Mesa Academic Library, often called Biblio, which was an expansive, two-story library filled to the brim with books, academic texts, reports and journals that scientists could request at any moment. Some were even one of a kind handwritten reports and manuscripts. It even housed regular reading material, for the families of the personnel and themselves in their off-hours. A few scientists even called it the “scientific Library of Congress” due to its diversity and expansiveness. It was a sacred space of academia, held only for the best of the best who could work at Black Mesa. Some even joked they would work as guards just to see the library itself. Like all libraries, Biblio was staffed with a variety of personnel, from general librarians to ones who worked specifically in sending texts up to the scientists.
Barney spotted Lauren pushing a cart from the front desk over to a maze of shelves.
BARNEY: Laurie!
Barney heard shushes from the entire library and put his hand he was using to wave at her down in shame. Lauren pushed her book-filled cart over to Barney, smiling.
LAUREN: ((Barn, it’s still a library!))
BARNEY: ((Sorry, sorry!))
Lauren had perfected her Black Mesa Academic Library Voice, which was louder than a whisper, but quiet enough to not disturb the others working.
LAUREN: But what in the world are you doing here? You don’t work down here!
BARNEY: ((I know, I know! I just needed to catch you before you left so I snuck down here!))
Lauren giggled and covered her mouth to muffle the sound.
LAUREN: Goody-Boy Barney, sneaking around? Well I’d hardly believe it if I weren’t seeing it with my own two eyes! Why did you need to catch me?
BARNEY: ((Well there’s this thing I’ve been wondering about…))
[Wednesday, November 13th, 200X, around 2 pm, Outbound Black Mesa Transit System Tram from Sector C]
Gordon stood nervously on the tram in the same spot as before, to the left of Gina Cross, who sat again on the frontmost seat closest to the door. Gordon WISHED he could sit down, every part of his body aching like hell. He hadn’t worked yesterday- he usually got Tuesdays off- and used that time to train. He’d met someone who’d told him something that kept biting at the back of his mind.
[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 2 pm, Level 3 Training Facility]
Gordon was doing lunges following the warmup Barney had written for him. These weren’t that tough- but whatever came next surely would be.
ELI: Freeman!
Gordon stopped and turned to see Dr. Eli Vance walking towards him in his own workout clothes carrying some boxing gloves.
Gordon had been formally introduced to the man once he’d returned from his conference, but he was a busy man, what with being just recently promoted to senior researcher. Gordon reflected on that meeting.
[Thursday, November 8th, 200X, Lab 6]
Dr. Kleiner had brought Gordon to Eli’s office.
KLEINER: Eli! Here’s Dr. Gordon Freeman, the newest addition to the Anomalous Materials Team.
Dr. Eli Vance got up from his desk and shook Gordon’s hand with a warm smile.
ELI: Nice to meet you Dr. Freeman! If you need anything, please let me know. Well, let one of my assistants know. Not to brag, but I finally got promoted to senior researcher, so I’ve got quite a bit under my belt at the moment. Speaking of which, I’ve got a meeting in fifteen, and it’s a few floors up. Nice meeting you Freeman, hope to see you around.
Gordon from the future of Wednesday the 13th realized he was two flashbacks in and needed to cut to the chase already.
[Tuesday, November 12th, 200X, around 2 pm, Level 3 Training Facility]
GORDON: Hello Dr. Vance
ELI: Training for your HEV suit course?
GORDON: [unfortunately] yes.
ELI: Well by all means, don’t let me stop you. Please, continue!
GORDON: [NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]
Gordon smiled politely and got back to his (reluctant albeit necessary) lunges.
ELI: You know Freeman, I’ve heard a lot about you.
GORDON: [AHHHHH-wait what-AHHHHHHH]
ELI: I have friends in admin - connections, you know? - they said it all. You’re top of your class at MIT, worked abroad and rose to high ranks in your department within a year. You got numerous invitations to teach and work at some prestigious and even well-paying universities, and your reason for applying for Black Mesa was not just through recommendation of Dr. Kleiner, but rather because you were BORED of the work and the lack of progress being made in Innsbruck!
GORDON: [for a-AHHHHH-for a top-secret facility-AHHHH-there aren’t a lot of-AHHHH-well-kept secrets]
Gordon picked up the weights and did (even more painful) lunges as he held them over his head. His legs and arms were begging him to stop.
ELI: Freeman, you strike me like the kinda guy who doesn’t like doing things unless you’re good at em right away.
GORDON: [Who are you to-AHHHHHH-to be psychoanalyzing me?]
ELI: Here’s a word of advice: Get out of your comfort zone and push yourself!
GORDON: [Didn’t ask, but whatever, I guess. I forgot I’m young and need mentoring from any older male.] Thank you, Dr. Vance.
[Wednesday, November 13th, 200X, around 2 pm, Outbound Tram from Sector C]
GORDON: [Push yourself Gordon! You’re no fucking pansy! Ask her if she's busy, work it out, it’s fine it’s FINE IT’S FINE.]
Gordon turned to Gina, who side eyed him before going back to her notebook.
GORDON: hey. [OKAY OKAY OKAY BE CASUAL.]
GINA: Hello.
GORDON: What are you writing?
GINA: Private matters.
GORDON: okay. [FUCK.]
Gordon shifted, thinking of his next (terrible) move.
GORDON: are you busy tomorrow?
GINA: yes.
GORDON: [FUCK.] When are you free?
GINA: Never. Sorry.
The rest of the commute was in utter (awkward) silence.
[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 4 am, Lab 4]
Gordon and Gina were working over the same spreadsheet and notes they had been given, working out inconsistencies. Sure, it was mainly busy work, but Gordon wasn’t about to complain. It was their joint shift, so they worked together in the lab on the same project. Gordon worked on the chalkboard, writing down anything that needed to be double-checked or re-calculated as Gina read it out to him.
They had started their shift earlier than Gordon was used to, so combined with the late workout from the night before, Gordon was ready to collapse.
GORDON: I’m going for coffee, would you like some? [a perfectly calculated move…]
GINA: No thank you. It’s really bad for you. I assume you’re aware.
GORDON: I am aware. [She’s so mean… love that in a woman.]
[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 4 am, Breakroom]
Gordon punched the buttons on the vending machine, frustrated at the despicable contraption.
GORDON: [oh I KNOW this thing hates me, personally. Well fuck you too machine. I’ll get my coffee and then I’ll kick the shit out of you. Wait. Don’t vending machines kill more people than sharks? So, it’s in your nature to be an asshole... that makes two of us…]
BARNEY: Dr. Freeman, I thought I taught you the secret!
Gordon almost jumped when he heard the voice.
GORDON: [JESUS we need to get you a bell or something. Wait, how did he even know I was in here? Has he been watching me? 10 creep points to Calhoun!]
BARNEY: Saw you on the cams and decided to come say hi. Don’t you remember the trick I taught you?
Gordon thought for a moment before remembering the last time he’d seen Barney in the breakroom. He tapped a beat on the side of the machine and snapped before punching it. It rumbled before spitting out one can of coffee. He cracked it open and let the caffeine go straight into his blood.
BARNEY: It’s a Black Mesa Guard secret, so don’t go telling any of your Scientist friends. Oh! How much time do you have left on your break?
Gordon checked his watch and shrugged.
GORDON: About 5 minutes.
BARNEY: Perfect! Okay, I wanna show you something, just give me a second.
Barney looked at his hands and seemed to be calculating something.
GORDON: [what the hell is he doing? Is he going to do like, a magic trick or something? or like. Really quick math?]
BARNEY: okay, okay, I’m ready, okay watch this.
Barney got into some sort of stance in front of Gordon, hands in front of him at neck level.
BARNEY: {Hello. My. Name. Is. B. A. R. N. E. Y.}
Gordon stood stunned.
GORDON: {you know ASL?}
BARNEY: Okay Gordon, I ain’t that good, I can’t really read it just yet.
GORDON: [oh my god he’s learning ASL?] who taught you?
BARNEY: Oh, well, I got these books from Biblio that are like the basics.
GORDON: Why?
BARNEY: Why what?
GORDON: Why did you learn?
BARNEY: Oh pfft, because I saw you do it!
Gordon blinked, still unbelieving.
GORDON: …what? [WHAT.]
BARNEY: Yeah, remember on Friday, when I asked you about your…
Barney looked over Gordon’s shoulder, checking for anyone in the hallway or breakroom.
BARNEY: … ((your action figure?)) and you did something with your hands, and I didn’t get it? So I went to Lauren- you met her, remember?- she works in Biblio, so I went and asked her, I said “What’s up with all these hand movements?” and at first she thought it was gang signs, but you don’t look like the type to be in a gang, so I told her it was like, some sorta code, and she knew what it was. Turns out Black Mesa has some books on American Sign Language. Well, it has two, to be specific
GORDON: [ He learned…He learned because he saw me do it once? I don’t know if I should be flattered or creeped out. A little of both? Only 5 Creep points this time.]
Gordon pointed at himself and seemed to be double checking if Barney really learned because of him.
BARNEY: well yeah, You! Who else?
GORDON: [huh. Well. Wow, I guess. I mean, he still has a way to go, and it IS harder to learn a second language at an older age. But still. Wow.] wow.
BARNEY: yeah! Hopefully I’ll get better.
GORDON: hey. {thank you.}
BARNEY: What’s that one mean?
GORDON: Means ‘Thank You.’
BARNEY: huh. {thank you.} nice.
Gordon allowed himself a small smile as the calm silence hung in the air as he drank his coffee. Gordon checked his watch and realized it was time to get back.
BARNEY: 5 minutes are up, huh? Well, I’ve got to get back to my shift too now. Gotta do my important work of Making Sure No One Steals Office Supplies and Standing By A Door.
GORDON: [Nice Chat, time to now do my infinitely greater service to Humanity.] {Goodbye.}
Barney seemed excited.
BARNEY: wait, wait, I know this one! Goodbye! Yes, {Goodbye.}
The two left the breakroom and went their separate ways. Gordon kept his composure externally.
GORDON: [Oh my god, he’s learning? Because of me? Another human person wants to interact with me in a meaningful way? Seems wrong, but I won’t be the one to tell him that.]
[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 5 am, Lab 4]
Invigorated by his newfound realization that people could and wanted to interact with him in ways that weren’t just professional, Gordon thought now would be as good a time as any to put the moves on Gina. When he got back, the room was mostly empty, save for the senior researcher who sidestepped Gordon to leave the room. Just them now. Gina had set the notebook she seemed to carry everywhere down and returned to her computer once she realized Gordon had returned.
Gordon stopped a few paces behind her.
GORDON: Gina.
GINA: It’s Dr. Cross.
GORDON: Gina.
She turned around, almost surprised, like no one had ever defied her in that way before. No one probably had. First names were so personal in a workplace like this. They were shared between only the closest of friends, or for the most important of moments. Gordon hoped this was one of them.
GORDON: Would you like to go out with me sometime? [I DID IT. I REALLY FREAKIN’ DID IT. MAN, IS THIS THE KIND OF MOMENT PEOPLE SAY SHIT LIKE “BOY HOWDY!” BECAUSE I’M REALLY FEELING IT.]
Gina stared at him, amazed for a moment before she just looked a terrible mix of frustrated and annoyed.
GINA: Gordon Freeman. How many times do I have to tell you? No. I do not want to go out with you.
GORDON: [WHAT. BUT. I ASKED???] why?
Gina stood up and walked right up to Gordon, one finger on his chest, pushing him back.
GINA: You know what? I don’t owe you an explanation. But I’ll give you one since you seem too dense to understand anything else but direct action. Gordon Freeman. I do not want to go out with you. I don’t care about you as a person, so this is less about you, and more about the fact that I don’t like men. I. Am. A. Lesbian. And if you tell anyone, Human Resources WILL be getting involved and I WILL be suing for defamation of character. Now get back to work and shut up.
Gordon stepped back, letting Gina’s finger hang in the air for a moment before she went back to her computer.
Gordon’s face showed not a trace of emotion. He went rigid and started to robotically do his work. He wasn’t even aware of the work he was doing, just working on autopilot. His thoughts were too preoccupied on the rejection. It was the loudest thing in his head. It was above the math and the theorems, which wasn’t a first, but it wasn’t pleasant, nonetheless.
GORDON: [whatever. Whatever! I don’t care. I really don’t! SEE? This is why I don’t ask people out. I just say yes to others or go on blind dates. It’s fine, I don’t care. She’s lying anyways. She’s just doing it to get me to stop asking. Which is fair. But she didn’t need to go that far. Whatever. I don’t need to get in trouble with HR again after the incident with Backman’s keys, so I should just keep quiet. I should just keep quiet. It’s fine, it’s whatever. I don’t care. I’ll keep quiet.]
[Thursday, November 14th, 200X, around 11 am, Sector C Black Mesa Transit System Station]
The tram was about to depart when the guard stopped it.
COLETTE: Hold the Tram, Please!
Gina and Gordon, who were glad for something to break the awkward tension on the tram, looked over to see Dr. Green pacing quickly towards the Tram. She thanked the guard as she got on, and held the upper handrail in front of Gina. She held a Briefcase that she was shoving some papers into.
COLETTE: Gina! Wonderful to see you! I didn’t want to miss the tram or else I’d be late for the meeting. You off for the day?
Gina looked up at Colette, quickly closing her notebook. She had a huge smile on her face as she looked up at her, even the dim lights of the tram making her eyes sparkle.
GINA: I am! I just got off my joint shift with…
Gina’s face looked considerably more annoyed as she glanced over at Gordon. Colette looked over to follow her eyes and seemed surprised to see him.
COLETTE: Dr. Freeman! I didn’t see you there, sorry. Have you been preparing for your course like I instructed?
Gordon nodded.
COLETTE: That's good, I hope to see you do well. But Gina, are you free at around 4? There’s this movie I got ((as a bit of contraband from outside!)) that I want to give you to take a look at, I think you’ll find it quite interesting. It’s about this ship in deep space that-
GINA: Colette…
Whatever they were discussing was clearly something that they preferred to keep private, but Colette had gotten so caught up in discussing it she’d forgotten Gordon was right there despite just talking to him.
COLETTE: Right! Right. Sorry. Um… Oh, Gina, have you thought about giving your likeness to the hologram system we’re implementing?
GINA: I’m still on the fence…
GORDON: [oh so she’s LESBIAN lesbian. Guess she wasn’t lying. Huh.]
The rest of the short tram ride, Gina and Colette spoke quietly about more work-related matters, completely ignoring Gordon. He didn’t mind, though. He only half listened to what they had to say and was mostly inside his own head. It wasn’t until Colette got off shortly after that Gordon turned to a still smiling Gina.
GORDON: She’s cute.
GINA: Oh fuck off.
GORDON: Not my type. Seems like yours though.
Gina turned bright red.
GINA: Shut! SHUT UP! I SWEAR FREEMAN, YOU SAY A WORD AND I’LL KILL YOU!
GORDON: I’ll keep it secret. On one condition.
Gordon held up one finger. Gina looked terrified for a second before Gordon extended his hand.
GORDON: Truce.
Gina paused for a moment before she took his hand and shook it.
GINA: Truce.
There was silence as they shook- a calm, understanding silence.
GORDON: so. Movies?
Gina turned red again.
GINA: it’s JUST movies, alright? She always gets movies brought in by Stacy and she SAYS she’ll give them to me but she invites me in and we end up watching them together. NOTHING ELSE.
Gordon rolled his eyes.
GINA: I’m serious! It’s all we do! Oh don’t act like you’re any better.
Gordon gave her a confused look.
GINA: what with running around with Calhoun. I saw him carrying you bridal style to your dorm. Was walking down that way back from the caf- I had forgotten my purse.
Now it was Gordon’s turn to turn red.
GORDON: [he was DOING WHAT] he was just helping me. I was intoxicated.
Gina raised an eyebrow at him.
GINA: really. And what happened after that?
GORDON: [WHAT NO NO NO I’M- HE’S NOT-] we’re not like that.
GINA: Really? Because I pegged you for, well, you know, “one of us” when I first met you. I guess that’s why it bothered me when you started to hit on me- I thought I’d gotten another member in the club.
GORDON: [AHHHHHHHHH also haha get it? Pegged?] No- I’m- well- it’s not like that. Barney’s not like that-it’s just- Oh it’s my stop. I’ll see you tomorrow Dr. Cross.
Gordon started to quickly step off the tram as the doors opened. Gina looked at him through the tram window, smirking.
GINA: Hey Freeman. We’re off work. It’s just Cross.
The tram hissed as it continued down the track.
[Saturday, November 16th, 200X, 9:00 am, Training Room 2]
Gordon stood in his Black Mesa Standard Under suit, which was basically a long-sleeved shirt and pants made out of athletic, sweat proof material. He watched as Dr. Cross came out, already wearing one of the suits Gordon was supposed to wear. Hers was a brassy red- shiny and polished, it made her look bigger than she was. Gordon had seen them at this point- glances at them in the locker room, but he never got a close look until now. They were practically mechs.
COLETTE: Ready to begin, Dr. Freeman?
Gordon nodded as he adjusted his glasses.
COLETTE: Please enter the next room to enter your HEV suit.
Gordon nervously entered, his throat feeling dry. Was he ready for this? Did he train enough?
In the middle of the room, practically on a pedestal was the suit. He felt himself drawn towards it, like a calling.
GORDON: [it’s destiny.]
Gordon put his hand to the hand panel, and the closet-like machine that housed the HEV suit opened up and started to work around him. It seemed the suit put itself on for him, clasping and clicking everywhere until it finally hissed closed.
HEV: WELCOME. TO THE HEV. MARK. FOUR. HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENTS. SUIT. HAVE. A NICE. DAY.
GORDON: [IT TALKS?]
COLETTE: We don’t have the helmet for this one currently- it’s the spare and it was taken for another suit. I hope that’s okay. Moving on.
The suit was incredibly heavy, much heavier than Gordon could have expected, even with the vest Barney had told him to wear. It was pure metal and machinery, with only small portions designed for comfort.
COLETTE: The HEV suit can be disorienting at first- take your time to acclimate to it. You go ahead and I’ll follow you.
Gordon tried to stride with confidence, allowing for Colette to follow behind him, before falling over flat on his face. Getting up was much harder than he thought. It was like doing a pushup with 40 pounds of steel on his back, which he guessed, was what he was doing.
COLETTE: Lean into it, Dr. Freeman. It’s a machine, so work with it rather than against it.
Gordon did as she instructed and felt something in his forearms and back start to whirr and work. It was easier to get up- though still not great.
The beginning was difficult, though not as bad as he thought. It took him a long time, but Gordon jumped, crouched, crawled and duck jumped through the obstacle course and he only fell a minimum of 5 times on each obstacle.
Gordon felt he was doing pretty well, but Colette’s reassurance that he’d get it eventually and the somewhat disappointed sounding scientists made him realize he wasn’t doing that great after all.
He finally got to the end portion of the Obstacle Course
COLETTE: Okay, well. That was okay. Now it’s time for the Tactical Portion. It’s okay if you’re unsure of how to use these weapons- It’s hard to study them. I can help if you need me to.
Gordon shook his head no and walked into the weapons room. Colette watched in utter shock as Gordon loaded and readied every weapon given to him. He now walked with actual confidence into the target practice room and awaited further instructions.
COLETTE: Okay, Well, you need to hit every target to continue. You can reload as many times as you need to.
She pressed a button and the machinery started to whir. Everyone, the scientists behind the bulletproof glass, the guards at the door, and even Colette herself watched as Gordon shot and threw grenades at every target with startling accuracy. In under a minute he had finished- faster than anyone before him. He stood, eyes still looking laser focused forward.
Colette closed her hanging jaw and tried to hide her surprise.
COLETTE: Okay. Um, that was good. Really good. I’ll need you to leave your weapons by the door before you can continue.
Gordon almost reluctantly parted with the grenades and assault rifle, but walked into the other room anyways, following Colette.
The room that Gordon could see was a winding catwalk raised a few meters above the ground.
COLETTE: Here, you’ll need to activate your flashlight using the button marked F on the right arm of your suit. Calhoun, please turn off the lights. Dr. Freeman, I’ll meet you on the other side.
GORDON: [Barney?]
Gordon turned on the flashlight and used it to maneuver on the raised platform, watching here he stepped. For a second, he looked over to the window on the other side of the room- it was illuminated, but not enough to light up the catwalk- and saw Barney. He didn’t look at Gordon or even smile, he just stood, arms at his side, looking at nothing.
That split second Gordon took to stray his eyes away from the catwalk was enough. He felt the ground disappear under him, but this time it was as he stepped forward, and felt a crushing weight as he fell flat on the ground.
HEV: MINOR. FRACTURE. DETECTED. ADMINISTERING. MORPHINE.
GORDON: [I THINK I BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE wait did that say morphine]
BARNEY: Gordon!
Gordon sat up and looked up at Barney, who was now pressed against the glass, the stern look now replaced with worry. He snapped back to his stern, rigid form as soon as Colette’s voice could be heard on the speaker.
COLETTE: Calhoun, return to your post! Do not aid in the course.
BARNEY: Apologies.
COLETTE: Dr. Freeman, you may take the ladder lit up in red in order to return to the beginning.
Gordon could feel warm blood trickle down his face as he got up but was surprised to feel almost no pain. He figured it was the morphine, but he didn’t want to find out. His left glasses lesse was cracked, but he was glad it was the only thing he could tell was broken. He trudged to the ladder and slowly climbed up, gaining his strength back from the shock, but it felt like the machine of a suit was accounting for that and kept him moving anyways.
He didn’t look away the next time.
Colette did not react to Gordon’s bloody nose and instead led him to the next room silently.
The next room was the long jump room, which was a long hallway made up of holes with 5 platforms, spread decently far apart.
COLETTE: Here is the Long Jump Pack, It will attach to your HEV suit automatically. You need to crouch before you jump in order to activate it. It’s okay if you don’t make it the first time- but if you make all 5 jumps the first time, it means you are doing well. It’s easier if you take a running start.
Colette’s tone was no longer helpful or kind. It was stern but neutral. Gordon put the pack on like a backpack and felt it clip into the suit as it started to whirr and hum.
GORDON: [come on Gordon, you fucking idiot, focus. you can do this, clear mind, focus only.]
Gordon sprinted the best he could under the weight of the suit and took the first leap.
[Saturday, November 16th, 200X, 12 pm, Medical Bay 1]
COLETTE: Gordon? Dr. Freeman, are you awake?
GORDON: [did I get wasted again? Man I have GOT to stop having vodka for dinner…and breakfast.] huh?
COLETTE: Gordon, can you tell me who I am?
Gordon blinked as he focused on the angelic figure standing above him before realizing it was Colette.
GORDON: Dr…. Colette Green.
She sighed with relief, one hand on her chest.
COLETTE: Oh thank god. We thought you might have a concussion after you slapped against the concrete platform… you also have a broken nose, but that’ll get fixed up quick. Unfortunately, even if you had completed the jump, you would not have passed the test.
Gordon looked around the room and saw a Doctor, a nurse, and Barney standing by the door, again, rigid and stern, staring forward.
GORDON: [oh shit… I was doing that course. Was I drunk? No, I don’t think so. I hit a platform? Man, I must have looked dumb as shit.]
COLETTE: But that’s okay! No one’s ever gotten it on the first try. Not even me. You’ll get it eventually. Now, rest up, you have work on Monday.
Colette thanked the doctors and turned to the door.
COLETTE: Calhoun. I will be speaking with you outside.
Barney nodded and followed her outside after the doctors left. The nurse left the door open a sliver on accident, and Gordon could hear bits and pieces of the conversation.
COLETTE: when you volunteered…. that’d you’d cause…...…irresponsible of you…liability...
BARNEY: Sorry I… help, it’s just……. Sorry, It won’t…
COLETTE: I should… suspended without leave… Might, but who…
Gordon heard them walk past the door and down the hallway and the conversation became clearer for a moment before it became increasingly unintelligible until he couldn’t understand it anymore.
COLETTE: … just because you’re friends doesn’t mean you have to get involved in everything he does. Wasn’t this…. problem with Officer Parks?
BARNEY: That’s not a fair comparison, I just wanted to help, I promise…...happen again!
COLETTE: Calhoun I…… suspended, for……
BARNEY: No, I……
Gordon tried to listen, but exhaustion got the best of him, and he fell asleep.
[Sunday, November 17th, 200X, Level 3 Dormitories, Room 309.]
Gordon woke up, still (mostly) dressed, almost melted ice pack still on his face. He was more pissed with himself than anything and would probably have smacked his face with his palm if his nose didn’t still ache.
GORDON: [stupid fucking Gordon with the stupid fucking course and stupid fucking inability to do shit right. It’s whatever, I don’t care. If I had trained more, then maybe I wouldn’t have face planted into the ledge. Maybe if I had stayed focused, I wouldn’t have fallen over, and Barney wouldn’t have…]
Gordon sat up. He hadn’t seen or heard from Barney since he passed out at the medical bay the day before. He soon felt a headache hit him, making him fall back down on the bed. The next time he got up, he took his time. Gordon walked past the phone on his desk and took a few steps back when he realized what he had seen: Barney’s internal phone number, scratched quickly on a sheet of scrap paper with the words “Call if you need anything– Barney C.” as if Gordon knew or spoke to any other Barney in the facility.
He sat down and looked at the number. His hand reached for the phone but recoiled in surprise when it started ringing. He answered quickly.
GORDON: Hello? [Barney?]
COLETTE: Dr. Freeman! Good to see you’re up! How are you feeling? Good, I hope. You still have to come in on Monday! But speaking of work. We have a few new test samples that arrived and it’s critical you get your HEV suit certification. You’ve been scheduled in for next week, same time. Is that okay?
It was Colette. Her tone was as cheery and bright as always, though Gordon knew now that it didn’t always mean she was giving good news.
Gordon lightly rubbed the bandage on his nose and tightening closed his eyes. He was still trying to process everything she’d said.
GORDON: okay. [man, I wonder what Gina sees in her outside of work, because she’s kind of a dickhead. And not in a hot way.]
COLETTE: Good! See you Monday.
The line clicked off.
Gordon picked up the piece of scrap paper and started to dial when the phone started ringing again.
GORDON: Hello?
ADMIN: Yes hello Dr. Freeman, this is administration, I’m Julia, I just wanted to let you know that your injuries sustained in the course were minor and will not make you eligible for worker’s comp or any extra sick days. We heard about your glasses, and we can pay those in part, but not fully.
GORDON: Okay.
ADMIN: That’s all Doctor, have a nice day.
The line clicked off.
Gordon groaned and started to rest his face in his palm before wincing in pain. He decided to be quick and call before anyone else wanted his undivided attention.
The line rang three times before he picked up.
BARNEY: Hello?
Gordon felt his stomach sink. What was he even going to say?
GORDON: Calhoun.
BARNEY: Gordon?
GORDON: Yes.
BARNEY: How… um, How’s your nose?
GORDON: Broken, but otherwise just as big as ever.
Barney seemed to laugh from the other end of the line.
GORDON: [OKAY OKAY HE DOESN’T TOTALLY HATE ME FOR GETTING HIM IN TROUBLE.] what about you?
BARNEY: What about me?
Gordon gulped dramatically. He didn’t mean to, but it was dramatic anyways.
GORDON: Yes, I… I heard a bit of your conversation with Dr. Green.
BARNEY: Which one.
Barney’s voice was worried but restrained. Gordon could almost imagine his cold, neutral face and wondered if he and Barney had switched their usual expressions. Gordon knew he looked more worried than he should be.
GORDON: as soon as you left the Med Bay.
BARNEY: Oh. Yeah, um, I think I’ll be either on leave or on transfer to a different sector for the week, or longer, I’m not really sure. I still have to check with my Lieutenant on Monday. But Gordon, never mind that, I was gonna call you and checkup, but I figured I should let you rest. I’m really sorry for distracting you during your course. I just wanted to be there, you know, like a support thing? I know I shouldn’t have been there; I should have figured it would have done something. I’m sorry, Gordon.
GORDON: [he’s… sorry? HE’S sorry? I fucked HIM over! If I hadn’t gotten DISTRACTED, he wouldn’t be in this shit. Why is HE apologizing?] It’s… It’s okay. I’m going again next week.
The line was silent as Gordon couldn’t get the words out. He wanted to say something, anything. He tried to find the words, but none of them seemed to be what he wanted.
GORDON: I made a mistake and you took the fall.
BARNEY: What? It’s okay. And technically you took the fall.
GORDON: It’s not your fault.
BARNEY: it’s alright Gordon! No need to get worked up. I’ll be okay. I like Sector C a lot, but I’d rather get moved than lose my job. Plus, people get moved all the time. I’ll be fine.
GORDON: I understand.
BARNEY: Listen, Gordon, I gotta go. Take care, alright? I’ll call you later.
GORDON: Goodbye.
BARNEY: Bye Gordon.
The line clicked off. Gordon rubbed his temples. He fucked up. He fucked up the course and he fucked over now the one person who genuinely seemed to like him.
Gordon rolled his eyes at his sudden, dramatic realization at the value of friendship, and it gave him a headache.
Gordon needed to think. He slowly got up, head still throbbing, and went for his Discman, headphones on, click- it was out of batteries. Gordon groaned. Great.
He fucked up the course, he fucked up getting spare batteries and he fucked over the one person who had genuinely seemed to like him. Great.
Gordon trudged over to the bathroom, grinding his teeth.
GORDON: [God, you fuck everything up. You have to be better; you ARE better. So why am I fucking everything up? This whole week has been a mess and it’s all my fucking fault. It’s fine. It’s whatever I don’t care. I just need to just. I need to…I just…... man, I need to shit.]
Gordon felt a little better after doing his business but felt his stomach hit the floor when he saw his toilet water had started to rise…. Gordon flushed again and again, and before he knew it, the toilet was pretty much completely flooded, the gross water spilling onto the floor. He didn’t have a plunger; he’d barely been at his dorm all week and he hadn’t gotten time to request any actual supplies. He barely had toilet paper left as it is. Great.
He fucked up the course, he fucked up getting spare batteries, he fucked up his bathroom, and he fucked over the one person who had genuinely seemed to like him. Great.
Gordon groaned and pulled his hair
GORDON: [It’s not whatever, it’s not fine, I DO CARE. Why do I CARE?]
Gordon groaned loudly and slammed the bathroom door, throwing a half-assed punch at the hallway wall before leaning against it. It was concrete, and he knew this. His hand hurt like hell and it wasn’t even that hard of a punch. He didn’t even know why he punched the wall. Who was he trying to impress or intimidate, even? Himself? No one was even around.
Gordon groaned again -this one more of a sob than a groan- and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He crumpled into a ball, listening to the water overflowing in the room beside him. He had his knees up to his chest and his hands onto this head, pulling at his hair where his bangs used to be. It was a bad habit of his- he used to play with his hair or braid it when he was frustrated. Now there was nothing to braid or play with. Just fists balled up and pulling his hair almost from the scalp.
He almost didn’t get up when he heard the knocking at the door.
GORDON: [Fuck, I look like shit. I’ll just tell them I’m sick. The puffy eyes will convince them.]
Gordon hesitantly opened the door but was a little more than stunned when he saw the mailman at the door. He wasn’t dressed like the mailman, though, but it was clearly the same man. A pale, tall, exhausted looking…Plumber? with the freakiest looking green eyes he’d ever seen and a… briefcase?
GORDON: [WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?] what…what can I help you with?
PLUMBER: I’m here…to do the…plumbing, Mr. Freeman.
GORDON: [HOW THE FUCK DID HE KNOW?] I…did not call for any plumbing.
PLUMBER: But…you do, have a …. Problem, don’t you….?
GORDON: [BUDDY, I have LOTS of problems.] Uh, yeah, come inside.
The Plumber Man stepped inside of Gordon’s dorm and looked around, his toolbox in one hand and his briefcase in the other.
PLUMBER: What’s your…. Problem?
GORDON: …MY problem? [I’LL FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT’S MY PROBLEM, BUDDY, IT’S THAT I’M STARTING TO THINK THAT MY ROOM IS BUGGED AND That maybe I fuck everything up and all my success up to this point has been pure luck.]
PLUMBER: Yes…...your problem. With the … plumbing.
GORDON: [oh.] It’s the toilet in the bathroom. It’s the last door down the hall.
Gordon led the strange plumber to the bathroom and the man entered the slightly flooded bathroom. He walked right over to the toilet, leaned in 90 degrees, and just watched it continue to overflow before going back to his upright position.
PLUMBER: Yes… it seems you…have a …clog.
GORDON: [No fucking duh.]
PLUMBER: I will… work on it….
The man didn’t move, and Gordon wondered what to do.
PLUMBER: I prefer to work with the door closed.
GORDON: oh uh. Okay. [HUH??]
Gordon closed the door on the suspiciously fucking weird guy.
GORDON: [that guy is suspiciously fucking weird.]
Gordon turned to leave the hallway when the man started talking to him, seemingly in the same tone, but loud enough that Gordon could hear him through the door.
PLUMBER: The weather… has been… odd, lately.
GORDON: [what the FUCK is going on?] Uh. I suppose so. Haven’t been outside recently.
PLUMBER: Fixing things is…. A job of mine, it seems….to be up to the most…reluctant… of people, to be the ones…who fix things.
Gordon was about to walk away and let the man talk to himself when he started hearing loud banging and turned around. It stopped soon after, but was replaced with drilling, then…was that a squeaky toy?
PLUMBER: I think….to fix things…...requires…courage.
The noises upgraded (if it could even be called an upgrade) to wet slapping sounds, a cartoon hammer, and an egg timer, in that order, each of varying length.
PLUMBER: to fix… something….one must first admit…. that one has the tools… to fix it.
GORDON: [WHAT is this guy talking about?]
ELI: Freeman?
Gordon turned from the door and saw Eli Vance looking in, leaning a little to side with a somewhat confused look on his face.
GORDON: Dr. Vance. [ARGH, WHAT NOW?]
ELI: Why’s your door wide open?
GORDON: The plumber just came in.
ELI: I see… I heard about your course results.
GORDON: [word travels pretty FUCKING fast, I guess.] I didn’t pass.
ELI: and you broke your nose.
GORDON: [AND I BROKE MY NOSE] I did.
Gordon motioned for Eli to come in, which he did. He looked around a bit and seemed almost impressed.
ELI: I also heard about Barney. Seems he got transferred out.
GORDON: [so the decision was already made. Did Barney know?] I’m aware.
ELI: Have you thought about the advice you last time, about pushing yourself?
GORDON: I have. [and I mean, it got me places. I hated it, but it got me places nonetheless.]
ELI: Good! Good. Well. Do you mind if I ask for advice myself?
GORDON: [HUH????] …okay.
Eli started to pace in circles, speeding up as he went.
ELI: I, as you know, am under a lot of pressure recently. I’m trying to organize it all- I have so many people looking to me for advice and answers, and it seems I keep messing it up. I feel like I’m the root of my project’s problems. Any time I try to do my best judgement or take the best action, I end up jeopardizing the project, the data or even my professional relationship with my colleagues. I feel like I just mess it all up, if that makes any sense.
GORDON: [man, it’s the same shit, different situation. I DO get it, Vance.] It makes sense.
ELI: I just feel like I need to fix it, I just… I just don’t know how.
Gordon could hear the strange noises coming from the bathroom door.
GORDON: Sometimes… Before we can fix something, we have to realize we have the tools to fix it. [Hopefully, Eli didn’t hear the Plumber say that first… is plagiarizing advice a fireable offence?]
Eli started at him for a moment as he stopped his pacing.
ELI: That… that makes a lot of sense. I HAVE the tools to fix the problem, I shouldn’t just sit around while it all just keeps falling apart! Freeman, Thank you.
Eli shook Gordon’s hand vigorously. He didn’t stop until he was done talking.
ELI: I’m sorry I barged in, but you understand that a Senior Researcher asking for advice from colleges doesn’t look great. But I had a feeling about you, and it turned out to be right. You’re a bright young man, and we’ve had this conversation before, but I need to be honest with you Freeman, if anyone knew I’d been asking advice of the new guy, I’d be the laughingstock. It’s a painful truth, sadly, but that’s bureaucracy. So, thank you, for your wise words and good ear, but let’s pretend I’m the wise one for now, okay?
GORDON: okay [I think I’m supposed to be offended but I’m a little more worried about the noises from the bathroom…is that glass breaking?]
ELI: Okay, Good day Mr. Freeman, I’ll think about your words for a while.
Eli turned on his heels and waved at Gordon as he power-walked out of the room and down the hall.
GORDON: [Sometimes… Before we can fix something, we have to realize we have the tools to fix it. Huh.]
The sounds continued to escalate, including the sound of something banging a pipe repeatedly, the moo of a cow, and something cooking in a frying pan. Gordon was seconds away from opening the door, swearing he could smell eggs, until the door swung open revealing the exhausted looking lamppost of a man in his dry, unwet, water not-having clean clothes and paraphernalia. The bathroom behind him was also, dry, much to Gordon’s utter shock (which he tried to conceal.)
PLUMBER: The weather… has been… odd, lately
GORDON: Will I have to pay you or is this a Black Mesa service? [Sick of your shit, man]
Just as Gordon had ignored the man’s statement, he ignored Gordon’s question. The Plumber side stepped Gordon and got to the door and paused before exiting.
PLUMBER: It gets pleasant…at night…..in the desert….under….only.. the sky…..it is a… wonderful thing…..Mr. Freeman… there’s so much…. you aren’t... even aware... of….
He took a step out the door and turned 90 degrees towards the left hall, with a rigid movement so unlike a human and yet, so disgustingly alive. He didn’t look at Gordon as he spoke.
PLUMBER: Goodbye…. Mr. Freeman……
The man started to stride away, neither confident nor timid, but you could tell he had places to be. Gordon closed (and locked) the door from the inside.
GORDON: [I have GOT to stop letting people into my dorm. I better check out the bathroom and see if he ACTUALLY fixed it or if I just let some delusional man bang his junk all over my toilet.]
Checking the bathroom, his toilet did in fact seem to be working, but it was something beside it that caught Gordon’s attention.
A toolbox.
GORDON: [This is one hell of a tool-based metaphor.]