Chapter Text
As much as Harry’s photos give him something to occupy his brain and his hands, sorting through them doesn’t completely remove him from reality as he is still conscious of every second that slowly ticks by. Time seems to be moving in reverse for him and everyone else waiting for good news. However, no news feels a lot like good news since they count every hour that passes without a surgeon coming to tell them something went wrong as a blessing.
It feels like a lifetime passes before the waiting room door finally swings open. It has been much longer than the five hours they were told this would take, so everyone in the room is hardly breathing and expecting the worst. The surgeon’s natural face is hard to read, so Harry assumes whatever she has come to tell them is bad. However, it doesn’t sound like bad news when the surgeon quickly apologizes for their extended wait and explains that Louis made it through surgery and is now headed to recovery.
For a second, no one in the waiting room says anything as the surgeon’s words sink in.
“He- He’s alright? He’s okay?” Louis’ eldest sister asks when no one else has the courage to do so.
“Well, he’s still asleep, but, yes. He’s alright. Breathing on his own and stable for now,” the surgeon confirms before a collective sigh of relief fills the room.
Harry is so happy to hear Louis made it through that he’s hardly even listening as the surgeon continues answering different questions popping up all over the room. She explains to his eldest siblings how surgeries this big taking longer than expected is much more preferable than things ending early because they couldn’t do everything they planned. And then she explains to the smallest two how their big brother’s brain and body are exhausted from surgery so he may need to sleep for a really long time. When she puts things like that, it almost sounds like a happy ending; like Louis and everyone has made it out of the woods, and this is the end of a scary chapter in all their lives. But, what the surgeon doesn’t tell the tiny twins is what everyone else in the room was already told; that the surgery was only half the battle. The odds weren’t great for Louis making it through this surgery alive, but they are even worse for Louis waking up ever again and still being himself if he does wake. Both situations are equally terrifying, so their collective relief doesn’t last too long before fear and anxiety grip them again as their second, much longer wait begins.
Harry’s hands keep shaking as he adjusts his tie for what must be the hundredth time since he put it on. He anxiously fiddles with the engagement ring on his finger and feels butterflies the same way he did the night he first got it. He has fantasized about this moment every day, so he never imagined he’d be this excited to be marrying the love of his life. The thing that makes him even more excited to finally be here is knowing that just down the corridor, Louis is feeling the exact same way about finally marrying him.
As soon as Harry opens his eyes and hears the beeping of machines, he realizes that sadly, he was just dreaming. Though, it was a really, really good dream; one that he hopes will someday become his reality. It would be the honor of his life to be able to keep Louis forever, to be with him always. But, to get there, a few things need to happen first. Mainly, for Louis to wake up.
It’s been nearly a full day since Louis left surgery. Seventeen hours to be exact, and so far, he still hasn’t stirred. His medical team don’t seem worried, so Harry and the rest of Louis’ family try not to worry either; something much easier said than done.
Each time Harry looks at him or it’s his turn to hold his hand, he tries not to pay attention to the loud machines hooked up to him or the bandages covering the incision on the left side of his head. Instead, Harry tries to focus on the things that are the same like the warmth of Louis’ hand and how perfectly it fits with his own. It’s those kinds of small things that Harry thinks of and holds onto when they hear Louis’ nurses and doctors quietly discussing his vitals and brain waves in ways that aren’t incredibly reassuring especially when the odds of Louis waking up decrease the longer it takes to finally happen.
Once it’s been a full twenty-four hours with no change, the room starts feeling stuffy with so many anxious people. They didn’t want Louis to wake up without anyone here, so most of them stayed overnight. They had hoped that maybe there would’ve been a change by now, but since there hasn’t it’s taking a toll on them all. They’re all tired and hungry from living off of hospital meals and vending machines for the past few days. The youngest twins are getting the most restless being in the hospital for so long, so by lunchtime, Louis’ family decides it’s time to give the twins and themselves a little break.
They decide to go out and get some lunch and some much-needed caffeine as a pick-me-up. And while that all sounds amazing, Harry can’t bring himself to join them. He would rather stay here and keep Louis company while they’re away. Louis won’t be much of a conversationalist at the moment, but just being near him is enough for Harry. It’s always been enough.
It feels strange when they’re finally alone together. It’s the first time since Harry crept into his room the night before his surgery. Curling up next to him and pretending like things were okay even just for a few minutes felt so good. It was exactly what they both needed. Now though, Harry isn’t too sure what they both need because Louis is as still and silent as ever.
It’s odd seeing Louis so quiet considering he usually never is. Harry misses Louis’ smile and his bright enthusiasm for everything that excites him. Things like music and traveling and experiencing new places. Things like his mother’s travel book Louis gave him for safe-keeping since he wouldn’t be able to look after it for a while. Harry grabs Jay’s book from the window ledge, gently riffling through the pages that smell sweet like Louis’ cologne from him falling asleep with it so many nights.
He opens it to an earmarked page about Costa Rica’s beaches. The page highlights several beaches with short reviews of each. Also on the page are notes written in the margins in neat blue ink; notes written by Jay that Louis probably has memorized from how often he reads them. Harry has always known that’s what’s drawn Louis to this book more than any other that his mother probably owned. He has even said that reading her hopes and dreams and plans for the future was one of his favorite things to do. What Harry didn’t know is that his other favorite thing to do has been responding to his mum’s notes with notes of his own. They’re like pen pals writing to each other about these beautiful, faraway places they both wanted to see.
The exchange that catches Harry’s eye the most is the one next to Playa Ventanas in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. The very beach he and Louis spent a whole day falling in love with from how beautiful it is. Apparently, Jay knew it’d be worthwhile because she said so, scribbling ‘Sounds like a great one. Sunset must be incredible over the rocks’. Harry smiles thinking about that day and knowing that she was one-hundred percent right. That sunset was without doubt the most beautiful one they got to watch the whole holiday, and clearly, Louis agrees if his written answer is anything to go by.
‘BEYOND incredible sunset! We loved it so much we never wanted to leave. If I never got to see anything else, I’d die the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Wish you could’ve seen it with us xx’
Harry’s heart is heavy as he flips page after page and sees the ongoing conversation that Louis has been having with his mum this whole time. A conversation about fun, traveling, and even Harry himself that got cut short because rather than finishing his holiday around the world, Louis wound up stuck here. None of it is fair and knowing that makes Harry so angry.
His eyes start stinging with tears that eventually fall the more he thinks about this whole situation and how fucked up it is that Louis is currently lying unconscious in bed. Or, at least he was just a second ago when Harry looked at him. Now, Louis is tiredly blinking at Harry with a slight frown on his face.
“Jesus,” he attempts to joke through his dry-sounding throat, “who died?”
At first, Harry’s brain doesn’t believe what he’s hearing or seeing. Just a few hours ago he and Louis were about to walk down the aisle in a dream, so his mind has been a bit fantastical lately. Louis waking up could very well just be his imagination, but he quickly realizes it’s not when Louis’ lips turn up in a small grin.
Harry was already crying, and now that Louis is awake, teasing him, and smiling like always, he’s actually sobbing from the dark cloud has finally been lifted from over his head.
“Don’t cry, love. I’m alright,” Louis tries, affectionately rolling his eyes a moment later when he realizes there’s no stopping Harry’s happy, relieved tears no matter how hard he squeezes Harry’s hand. “If you keep that up, I’ll have to call a nurse to sedate you,” he jokes making Harry release some weird half-laugh, half-sob. He’s just so thrilled to be able to hear Louis say whatever pops into that beautiful brain of his.
“I didn’t know if I’d ever get to see you again,” Harry finally manages to say once he’s able to breathe.
So much was unknown before Louis went into surgery, including if Louis would even still be here afterwards. Harry can’t even put into words how happy he is to have his boyfriend back and tumor-free. He feels invincible; like they can take on anything, including the rest of their holiday whenever they’re ready to resume it. The best part is that they can now take on the world and this life at whatever pace they are comfortable with because besides relief, happiness, and their love for each other, the most precious gift they’ve just been given is time.
~Barcelona ~6 Years Later
Louis wishes he had extra hands when he goes to carry his gelato order out of the shop. He finds himself wishing for extra hands a lot these days now that he has two extra people in his life who love gelato just as much as him and Harry.
“Er- Hola again. Sorry,” Louis chirps as he realizes he’s got no chance of getting four giant cups of gelato out of here without a giant spill somewhere along the beach. “Necesito una -um... una...” Louis gestures with his hands to make an invisible travel box or bag, grinning in relief when the shop owner procures a paper bag from beneath the counter.
“Una bolsa. It means bag,” the man tells him, grinning in approval when Louis repeats the new word to commit it to memory with the other fifty words he probably knows in Spanish. It’s pretty embarrassing given the amount of time Louis and Harry have spent in Spanish-speaking countries. All the more reason for coming on this holiday, in Louis’ opinion. Well, learning more Spanish, and also finishing up something he and Harry started six years ago.
After Louis’ surgery to remove his tumor, December came and went without any of the fears Louis originally had. He got to have another birthday, Christmas, and New Years with the people he loves the most. That was something he never expected to be able to do, along with being able to see parts of the world he and Harry never got to. That year and the next, they traded flights, hotels, and epic sunsets for being home with their families and eventually deciding to become a family of their own.
They postponed going to places like Machu Pichu and the rest of their stops for some other adventures that were just as exciting like moving in together, seeing each other’s careers take off, saying I do, and as of one year ago, becoming parents to the sweetest little boy and girl in the world; the two gelato lovers that are probably wondering what’s taking their dad so long to get back with the goods.
Louis relocates the spot along the little stone wall lining the beach that Harry scouted for them to sit and watch the waves rolling in. It is so beautiful here that Louis can see why his mother wanted to visit. He can't wait to write back to her that she was right about it as always. As soon as they got the news that Harry’s newest series of photos made it into the gallery he’s been pursuing for years and that Louis’ writing about his journey finally got picked up by a publisher, he knew this would be the perfect place to celebrate. And, also, to get their five-year-olds to fall in love with exploring new places like their dads. One of which who can’t stop taking photos of the landscape, the kids, or of Louis.
Louis rolls his eyes when he rounds the corner of the beach access gate and the paparazzo starts snapping photos.
“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing editorial or artsy about me holding a bag of gelato,” Louis snorts as he makes the twins’ whole day by handing them their desserts.
“I promised everyone back home that they’d feel like they were here with us,” Harry says in his own defense, now snapping photos of Louis distributing spoons and napkins to their kids and handing Harry his own cup of gelato.
“Um, pretty sure no one wants photos of this,” Louis laughs as he misses his own mouth entirely and drops chocolate gelato onto his shirt. On his second attempt, Louis makes sure to actually eat some gelato; a bit too much at once he realizes when a sharp pain runs through his head making him wince and apply pressure to the spot.
When it finally subsides, he opens his eyes to find Harry watching him the same way he does whenever Louis is feeling a little under the weather or has a headache that lasts a while. It’s a look of fear that always breaks Louis’ heart because for the last six years, he has been healthy and tumor free. And if things keep going the way they have been at his yearly checkups, he’ll stay that way for a long, long time.
“Just a little brain freeze, babe,” Louis assures him, stepping closer to him to reassure him with a kiss too for good measure. “I’m great. Better than,” he beams. “In fact, I’m feeling so good, I don’t just want my gelato. I want everyone’s!” he announces making the twins squeal in delight when he tries stealing spoonfuls of their dessert.
Harry’s bright smile and laugh are instantaneous as he goes into dad mode, warning everyone to be careful while feverishly snapping photos the whole while.
Once Louis successfully steals a taste of everyone’s gelato, he goes back to eating his own, but at a much slower pace.
“You’re really alright?” Harry checks one more time when Louis reclaims the spot next to him. As if Louis would be anything less than blissfully content in a place like this with the people who make his life worth living. This is all Louis ever wanted. It’s the dream he was too afraid to want in case he never got here. But, it turns out that he had nothing to worry about. Neither of them did because they ended up right where they were meant to.
“I’m perfect,” Louis tells his husband with a kiss to his jaw. “And so are we.”
The End