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Humans in Disguise

Chapter 4: Reflection

Summary:

After coming back from patrol, Diamond, or Gemshield, reflects on her first couple of months with the Autobots.

Notes:

I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m trying. There really is no specific continuity, I’m just going where the story takes me.

Chapter Text

It was a pretty close race, with Bee and Smokescreen in the lead. Knockout was trying to pass but it was clear he didn't want to go through the dirt to do so now that they were on pavement. 

“What? Afraid to ruin your paint?” I teased.

“I just buffed out all the scratches! I’m not doing it again.”

“Uh huh.” I pulled around them through the dirt and in front of the scouts.

“You're faster than I expected, Gem,” Smokescreen said.

“As, thanks~” it was pretty close between me and Bee as we sped down the dark stretch of road. It was twilight.

“We’re coming up on town,” Smokey informed us. We could see glittering lights in the distance, beyond our headlights.

{Watch for pedestrians this time.}

“They should watch where THEY’RE going. I was just minding my own business,” Knockout complained.

{Knockout…}

“Fine.”

{Thank you.} Bee simply got a grunt in response. I was still in the lead but Knockout was getting close. I move in front of him anytime he tries to pass.

“Never took you as one to play dirty, Autobot.”

“I told you, I wasn’t gonna lose to the likes of someone like you.”

“Pretty feisty, eh?”

“Where’d you learn to race, Gem? You hardly seem to be a beginner,” Smokescreen commented.

“Oh, I’ve dabbled here and there.” I had honestly never raced in a car, or as a car, but I had raced horses occasionally in villages as I traveled the Overworld between times trapped in the Nether. I had an impeccable reputation for it. My secret was the emotional connection I achieved with the horse I rode for each race, spending days and nights with it before the race. I listened to its words and feelings, and responded accordingly. Both of us put our hearts and souls into the race, winning by a landslide. No magic, just the connection we made.

“Yeah?”

{Finish line straight ahead, in that parking lot.} I crossed the threshold first, quickly followed by Knockout then Bee and Smokescreen.

“Told you I’d win.”

“Beginners luck,” i could hear Smoke’s pouting in his voice and sense his disappointment.

{does that count for racing?}

“Hell, if Mario Kart says anything…”

“Good race, Gem. Maybe there could be a rematch sometime, where i'll win of course,” Knockout said.

“Don't get your hopes up.” He chuckles and sped off into the darkness. “Now, for you two…” I circle around to face the two scouts.

“We’re in trouble, huh?”

“Definitely,” I sighed, “I can't believe you planned a race during patrol. Do you know what Optimus would do if he knew?”

{Make us work as Ratchet’s assistants again?} Both cars shuddered.

“Who knew that's what the Scraplets did to the base…”

{I’m pretty sure he saved it just for when i, and you when you joined the team, screwed up…}

“Knowing him? Definitely…” They shuddered again. “I swear sometimes he's an ex-Decepticon….”

{Uh huh.} I sighed.

“Look you two, I don't care what you do in your free time, but patrol is serious and you need to take it that way. This is a warning. Next time, I tell Prime. Their emotions started at panic before relaxing, then turning wary.

“Understood…” Bee buzzed in agreement.

“Good. Now, we get to start patrol over.”

“What?!” They both objected.

“Well? What if there was something we missed? Do you want to be responsible for a Decepticon slipping past us?” Smokescreen sighed.

“No… but if Knockout was out here, there shouldn’t be any others.”

“And if there are?”

{Come on, let's just get it over with.}

“Fine…” We drove back to the start of the patrol and swept the streets as we were supposed to. Smokescreen fake yawned.

“There’s nothing out here… are we done yet?”

“Wait…” i was sensing something above. Fire then came from where i felt whatever was there. Smokescreen swerved to avoid the blasts.

“StarScream!”

“Looks like I’ve found myself a couple scouts and a… what are you exactly?”

“A science officer technically.”

“Well, regardless, you're an Autobot which means i will DESTROY you!”

“Riiiiiiight… because you were so successful last time.” Smokescreen said.

{or the time before that.}

“Or-“

“Okay i get it! But this time-!”

“Why don't you come down here and fight already?” Smokescreen transformed out into robot form, Bee following suit.

“Fine! If you’re so eager to be destroyed, so be it!” He transforms in front of us, landing on the ground. 

“I thought you had more sense than to take three Autobots at once by yourself.”

{has he ever had much sense?}

“You're right,” Smoke said and I transformed to my robot form as well.

“I’m right here, you know!” StarScream waves his arms to get our attention.

“Oh yeah. So, what did you want again?”

“To destroy y-“ He broke off at an obnoxious slurping sound. I had no idea where or when Smokescreen got an energon cube or a bendy straw that large, but he had it. He stopped drinking.

“Oh, sorry.” He waves his hand. “Continue.”

“As I was saying, I’m here to-“ he growls as Smokescreen slurped some more.

“Oh, is this distracting you? Sorry let me just.” He slurps more, making it long and extra drawn out. StarScream waited impatiently.

“Are you finished?”

“Almost.” We waited longer. “Okay, I’m done.”

“Anyways, as i was saying, I’m here to-“ The slurping made him break off again. “That's it!” He transforms and zooms off into the night sky.

“You owe me five credits.” Bee grumbles.

“What?” I asked.

{we had a bet on if that would work on StarScream.}

“And it did, now pay up.” I shook my head in disapproval.

“You two are like children…”

“You mean sparklings?”

“Yeah, that.”

{I've had enough for tonight. Let's just get back to base.}

“Right. Smokescreen to base.”

“Took you three long enough,” Ratchet’s voice came through. The bridge opened in front of us and we headed through. “Did you run into trouble there or something?”

“No, we just…”

“We thought we saw something and investigated. It wasn’t anything of note.” Ratchet grunted in response, closing the bridge behind us. 

{up for some Mario Kart, Smokey?}

“You're on!” The two boys ran off to play. Ratchet shook his head.

“They act like sparklings.”

“Is that bad? They wanna experience what they can before inevitable death, wherever they may be.”

“They could act at least a little more seriously.” 

“They could, but they’re having fun and staying out of your wires, right?” He simply grumbles in response. “Don't tell me you weren't like that once, i know better than that.” He sighed slightly, his stern gaze drifting from the data pad in his hand. His expression softened some. 

“That was many years ago now…” he chuckled lightly to himself. I was taken aback. I never really heard his laugh before. “But that was before life gave me a reality check… that the universe is a cold, unforgiving place that doesn't care if you live or die.” I leaned on a nearby railing. 

“I know all too well…” I sighed softly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You have a few million years on me, but I learned real quick. My mother was killed when i was young.” I avert my gaze, staring blankly. “I’m sure you watched people die in front of you. You cant save everyone, even as a medic…”

“Unfortunately, thats how it is.”

“Do you… wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Oh, okay… just thought I’d ask… I know you probably don't expect me to understand since I’ve never been in war before, but it doesn’t mean i can't try.”

“I said no.” He scowled at me. “Don't you have other things to do?” It was clear he was trying to avoid talking about the past. 

“Maybe. You know it’s unhealthy to keep things like that bottled up…”

“I've survived this long, a little longer wont kill me.” He had returned to his work on the data pad. I crossed my arms.

“Ever heard the saying ‘the stick that broke the llama’s back’?” He quirks a brow. “It means- ugh never mind…” 

“I believe the organic expression is ‘the stick that broke the camel’s back.’”

“What’s a camel?” I knew about llamas but not about whatever a camel was. He pulls up an image of a camel. I peered at it curiously. “We don't have those back home. We use llamas usually. Well, wandering traders do.”

“Right, well I believe everyone has seen one at some point.”

“They look cool. Like a desert llama.”

“I suppose so.”

“Well, i'll get out of your wires, already.” I wandered back to my lab and sighed heavily, leaning against the door. That was the most I’d ever talked to him. It was honestly exhilarating, but now I had the problem of informing Optimus about myself. I didn't know how to go about it. I was afraid. Afraid that he wouldn’t trust me, that he’d cut me from the team, or worse… disappointed that i never told him. I shuddered at the thought. I knew what his expression looked like because of Bee and Smokescreen’s memories on occasion when I would check. I weighed my options. Ratchet did say it was better to tell him sooner rather than later. I approached him at the console where he was looking, presumably over files. “Optimus?”

“Yes?” He looks up from his work. 

“Can i talk to you for a minute?” I spotted Arcee nearby, just watching Bulkhead and the scouts playing games. I could tell she was listening to me, though. “Alone?”

“Of course.” We stepped outside the main room and walked down a hallway together while talking. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, despite not needing to breathe. 

“I wanted to uh… ask a theoretical question…”

“Go on.”

“What would you do if, in theory, one of your team members was somehow actually an organic?”

“A human? We’d have to be very careful.”

“I mean, like, they’re currently a cybertronian but they’re able to shape shift and their normal form is a human?”

“I would say that isn’t possible to my knowledge.”

“Right, but what if it was?”

“I would be surprised.”

“O-oh… i guess that makes sense…” I rubbed the back of my helm shyly. “That’s all…” I turned away to leave.

“Why?” I paused and looked back at him.

“Huh? Oh, i was just… thinking about it i guess.” He gave me a suspicious look. I didn't stay long enough for him to ask questions. I grinned nervously and skirted off to my lab. I rest my helm against the door after closing it. I cursed to myself. I knew I should’ve just told him, but I couldn't do it. I decided to wait for a better time. I hoped there was a better time… 

I went to my work table and did some tinkering, making sure the armor was perfect. My mind began to drift. The first few months had been hard.

 


 

I walked through the portal and looked around the expansive cavern.

“Whoa…” So much was going through my head all at once, oddly not any thoughts except my own. Maybe because they weren’t human, I wasn’t sure. Everything was absolutely fascinating. 

“Another Autobot?” There was a red and white mech at… well what looked like redstone. My cheeks heated up some. This was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time: attraction. I couldn't decide what it was about him…

“Currently unaligned.” 

“You're sure she’s not a Decepticon spy?” I looked between the larger bots. I still didn't know what a Decepticon was since no one explained it.

“I’m sure.” I scratched the back of my head, feeling like the center of attention. Everyone was rather wary of walking away from me. 

“Uh?” I looked at all the other bots, stepping back some. “You know, i don't feel welcome here so I'll just go-“ I turned only to see the portal closed behind us. “Oh.”

“I apologize for our Apprehension, but we’re amidst a war. We can't be too careful.” I heard him walk up behind me. I turned to face him, pretty short in comparison. I was about Bumblebee or Smokescreen’s height.

“Right.”

“Are you willing to join us as an Autobot and a protector of Earth?”

“Protect it from what?”

“The Decepticons. They have no regard for human life. They would be more than willing to sacrifice its inhabitants in order to win the war.”

“Oh, well, when you put it that way, how can i refuse?”

“Ratchet?” He turns to see the white and red mech. “Would you get her an insignia?”

“With all due respect, Optimus, I know we’re few in numbers, but picking up Cybertronians that we’ve found out of nowhere seems desperate. We don't have the time nor the energon to train someone from scratch.”

“Your opinion is noted.”

“I can fight, if that's what you’re saying.” The two bots turned to me. I looked between them. “W-what? I just… thought I’d mention it.”

“We don't need another scout.” Ratchet scowled. By now the others had gone to mind their own business while this was discussed.

“I know the ins and outs of physics.”

“We are currently lacking a science officer while Wheeljack is off planet.” I heard the other bot grumbling. 

“Fine.”

“Ratchet is our medic. He’ll put the Autobot insignia on you. You’ll be in good hands.” Ratchet mumbled under his breath.

“Come on, I don't have all solar cycle.” I followed him to what looked like a metal table. He points to it. “Lay down.”

“Okay.” It looked really uncomfortable, but I did it anyway. It wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as i had expected. He gave me a look over, probably deciding where to put it. He settled on my door-wing. 

“Now hold still.” I was worried it would hurt, but it didn't really. I didn't know how to describe it. I heard him make a sound of annoyance. 

“What’s wrong?”

“The metals aren’t welding together as well as they’re supposed to.” He pulls out a similar tool and tries that, making the same noise again. “I suppose we’ll simply have to hope it sticks well enough where it wont fall off. You're free to get up whenever.” I sat up and looked at it. 

“Huh. Thanks.” He waves it off indifferently. 

 

From there, I got the tools and space I needed for working with science while occasionally heading on patrol. The first time on patrol was the hardest. I had to figure out how to transform while still keeping my cover. I went with Optimus in case something happened and so he could show me the ropes. We were looking for energon when a couple planes appeared in the sky. We were out in the middle of the desert so a fight wasn’t a problem. They transformed and dropped a couple paces away from us. I ducked behind the larger mech and peered around.

“What are those?”

“Decepticons.” His hands shifted out into a gun and a blade. 

“Oh. R-right. Of course. I knew that.” I relaxed and stepped out from behind him. He wasted no time lunging at them and taking them out. I stepped back, staring at the limp bodies with glowing blue liquid pooling out of them. It wasn’t the gore that was messing with my head, I had grown pretty numb to that. It was the idea that I would have to… kill people. It was a massive reality check. This was war, and that’s what happens in war. I felt dizzy.

“Gemshield?” I held my head in my hand, getting a flashback to Chris. The first and only person I had told about who I was… which led to his death. I was manipulated into killing him. When i realized what i had done, it was too late. I had sworn I wouldn’t take another life like that. I suppose that's when he realized I was different from the others. Hadn’t experienced war. 

“You… killed them…?”

“Unfortunately. Its a waste of a life, but thats what the war has been and always will be. You haven’t killed before, have you?”

“I-i have but…” i stared at the bodies on the ground, sick. “What could they have done to deserve this…?”

“They joined the Decepticons.”

“What if they were just made that way? They all look the same. Maybe they didn't choose this…”

“Unfortunately choice isn’t a luxury everyone has.”

“They were just following orders.” I gripped my head, images of similar things rushing back. What I had to tolerate and survive. What I saw others go through… I jumped when his hand was on my shoulder. 

“I’m sorry but this is just the reality of the world we live in. If we didn't destroy the Decepticons, they would destroy the human race.” I felt my mouth go dry. I wasn’t sure if it was real or just a leftover sensation from when i had been human, regardless it was unpleasant. “Let us return to base.” He lets go of my shoulder and transforms, waiting for me to follow. I did the same, coming down from my panic. We drove in silence. After that, i didn't do any patrols for a long time, but it allowed me to learn the language and understand what Bee was saying, not to mention tuning my telepathy to their wavelengths unconsciously. Eventually I had been desensitized to it. Only recently did I finally accept my job destroying Decepticons. 

Notes:

I didn’t realize until recently that Autobots don't fly but I’m too lazy to fix it.