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Wei Wuxian walked slowly towards the Jingshi. He needed to see Lan Wangji, there was something very important he had to tell him. Wei Wuxian laughed at the absurdity of his situation. He was going to confess to his fiancé!
At first, their engagement was only a ruse. Its purpose was to keep Wei Wuxian out of trouble. By agreeing to marry Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian had acquired the support of the Lan Sect (much to the dismay of Lan Qiren). However, as time passed their relationship began to change. Wei Wuxian being his oblivious self didn’t actually realize what was happening, but fortunately, he had the greatest sister in the world. Jiang Yanli, with her infinite patience, helped Wei Wuxian to have a better understanding of his feelings.
After reading the last letter from his sister, Wei Wuxian decided to finally talk with Lan Wangji. And yet, as he neared the Jingshi, Wei Wuxian’s steps became hesitant. All at once he was feeling very nervous.
What if Lan Zhan didn’t feel the same?
What if the confession ruined everything between them?
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices. Without realizing, Wei Wuxian had arrived at the door of the Jingshi. Eavesdropping was prohibited in the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian reminded himself. However, instead of leaving, he leaned against the door and tried to hear who was inside.
“You finally accept that it’s love,” said the unmistakable voice of Lan Xichen.
This newfound knowledge made Wei Wuxian reconsider his initial choice. Perhaps he should let the brothers have some privacy. For once in his life Wei Wuxian was going to follow the rules. (Lan Qiren would be proud.) He was about to turn around when he heard something that made him stay still.
“Yes, I am,” Lan Wangji declared. “Now, stop teasing me.”
The reply caused a small chuckle from Lan Xichen. Wei Wuxian knew perfectly the expression that must be on Lan Wangji’s face (lips pressed in a thin line and a cold stare). After all, he was usually the one who caused it. What Wei Wuxian didn’t know was why they were talking about this issue.
But the most important thing was that Lan Wangji had confirmed Lan Xichen’s words. It was true; Lan Zhan was in love. But with whom?
“I’m happy for you,” Xichen stated sincerely. Then, with a lighter tone, he asked, “Should I prepare another engagement party?”
“There’s no need,” Lan Wangji answered without missing a beat. “We’re already engaged.”
The suggestion didn’t sit well with Wei Wuxian. He had thought that Xichen was one of the few Lan members who actually liked him (perhaps the only). But now Zewu-jun was offering to help Wangji marry another person. What was happening?!
Wei Wuxian didn’t have time to process the exchange, because Lan Xichen spoke again. “I’m sure young master Wei will be very understanding of the situation.” Xichen’s tone was playful, however when he continued he sounded more serious. “Have you talked with him?”
“No.”
“Wangji, you must tell him.”
“I know.”
“Then . . . Oh, I see.” Lan Xichen sighed. He must have seen something in Wangji’s expression. Lan Xichen was very good at interpreting his brother’s emotions. His next words confirmed it: “But, Wangji, how long do you think it would take for everything to be settled down? Do you really plan to wait? What about your happiness?”
Instead of answering any of the questions, Lan Wangji simply said: “I must help Wei Ying.”
This earned a defeated exhalation from Lan Xichen. “It seems nothing I say will change your mind.”
“Would you still help me?” Lan Wangji asked, his tone earnest.
“Of course. At least I’m at peace knowing you will talk with him eventually. I don’t want you to be in a loveless marriage.”
After hearing those words, Wei Wuxian couldn’t stand being there anymore. He turned around and left. If Wei Wuxian had been inside the room, he would have seen how Lan Wangji flinched at the words.
A loveless marriage.
Those were Lan Xichen’s exact words. The phrase had shocked Wei Wuxian. The term seemed too harsh. Wei Wuxian refused to accept it. After everything that had transpired between them, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian surely could be called friends! And you definitely weren’t friends with someone you didn’t like. It seemed heartless to label their future marriage as loveless.
And yet, their relationship was perceived like that. Wei Wuxian understood why. Even if Wangji loved him as a friend, it seemed he was not in love with him. And why would Lan Wangji stay in a marriage with a friend, when he had someone to give his heart? A friend or a lover? The answer was quite clear.
Wei Wuxian looked at the bunny in his arms. The small animal was content in his hold. He leaned in and whispered, “I was being too greedy. I have to let him go.” Wei Wuxian opened his arms and the bunny jumped from his lap to the grass and reunited with the others.
It was time for Wei Wuxian to return. The sky was getting dark.
Lan Wangji was waiting for him in the Jingshi. The table was already set. They ate in silence, Wei Wuxian hadn’t energy to make small talk. It’s for the best , he thought, I bet Lan Zhan wants some peace. It was the wrong thing to do. As soon as the meal was finished, Lan Wangji asked:
“Did you receive bad news?”
“What?”
“The letter.”
“Oh, not at all. Shijie and A-Ling are fine. I was just thinking. Lan Zhan, don’t look so concerned. I promise I’m not planning to stir up trouble.” Wei Wuxian had been on his best behaviour since he was installed at the Cloud Recesses. (Or at least he had tried). It was not his fault that the Lan Sect had so many rules. So what if he had broken a few? Lan Wangji was also remembering this and his gaze showed it. Wei Wuxian laughed and changed the topic: “Anyway, didn’t Zewu-jun want to talk with us?”
“Brother went to Koi Tower,” Wangji replied.
It wasn’t necessary to explain the reason of Xichen’s travel. Lately, Wei Wuxian’s situation was the topic most discussed between the two sects. Even if he was part of the Lan Sect, Jin Guangshan wasn’t satisfied with how things ended.
The engagement was the only thing that protected Wei Wuxian from Jin Guangshan’s retaliation. However, as Wei Wuxian had discovered earlier that day, the Lan brothers didn’t plan for this situation to continue forever. Lan Wangji had someone in his heart and the only person standing between their happiness was Wei Wuxian.
And so, Lan Xichen had gone to Koi Tower to fix the trouble that Wei Wuxian had caused. It was obvious that Wangji wanted to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Wei Wuxian couldn’t begrudge him.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and with fake cheer he said, “Great! Maybe Zewu-jun has more luck than us.”
Lan Wangji must have noticed how strained the words sounded, but didn’t comment on it. He simply nodded. After all, he also hoped that Xichen’s efforts paid off. If his brother managed to get an agreement with the Jin Sect, then Wei Wuxian would not be in danger anymore.
The next morning, Wei Wuxian went to Caiyi Town. He needed some time alone. Lan Wangji didn’t exactly approve of Wei Wuxian’s little trip. Perhaps he was worried Wei Wuxian would get himself into trouble and thus, hinder Xichen’s efforts. Wei Wuxian feigned offense at the lack of trust, but he knew Lan Wangji’s worry was justifiable. Wei Wuxian was prone to get caught up in shenanigans.
His wandering through Caiyi Town was uneventful. On more than one occasion Wei Wuxian got sidetracked listening to people’s chatter. There were a lot of rumors going on. He found that he was the protagonist of a few. Wei Wuxian tried to ignore those, but it was hard. In most of them, Lan Wangji was in the middle of a political scheme made by Wei Wuxian. Those couldn’t be more far from the truth.
After eating a bag of loquats, Wei Wuxian focused on his goal. The real objective of today’s trip was to send a letter to his shijie. He wanted to know how the negotiations were going. Jiang Yanli would not be present during these talks, but Jin Zixuan would be. And the Peacock would answer Jiang Yanli’s requests, which worked just fine for Wei Wuxian. Except for the part in which he had to rely on the Peacock. But, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Wei Wuxian had written the letter last night, after Lan Wangji fell asleep. He made an effort to sound normal, but he didn’t think he succeeded, though. With some luck, his shijie would believe Wei Wuxian’s gloomy mood was because of the circumstances and not because he found Lan Wangji didn’t love him back. She had been so sure of Lan Wangji’s feelings and prompted Wei Wuxian to take the first step. Wei Wuxian didn’t want his sister to feel remorse over his bad luck.
Shijie’s reply came two days later. In it, she hinted that the negotiations were going nicely. Jiang Yanli sounded eager for this development. Wei Wuxian should feel the same. It was his future they were talking about, after all. Instead he felt hollow.
In all sincerity, Wei Wuxian did not have much hope for this specific situation. A part of him believed he was always going to have to live with this threat hanging over his life. And he had come to accept it. While he had Lan Wangji at his side, Wei Wuxian felt capable of surviving anything. It never crossed his mind not being with him. Honestly, that should have been his first clue that his feelings towards Lan Wangji weren’t so platonic.
Well, those feelings didn’t matter anymore. Their marriage would come to an end soon. It was only a matter of days before Lan Xichen would return with the good news. Wei Wuxian’s happy days were running out. Unless . . . No. Wei Wuxian was not going to betray Lan Wangji. What was the point?
Sure, he could make a scene and gain the disapproval of the cultivation world again. It would be so easy. That would invalidate whatever agreement Lan Xichen secured. Without it, the engagement would have to run its course. But it would also keep Lan Wangji in a loveless marriage and Wei Wuxian could never do that to him.
In the subsequent days Wei Wuxian started to avoid Lan Wangji. He began skipping their meals together by sleeping in or going to visit the rabbits. Wei Wuxian reasoned it was better if he do this now. Since they would be parting, it was best for Wei Wuxian to get used it.
The day Lan Xichen returned to Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian almost missed curfew. Wei Wuxian was climbing the last set of stairs when he saw Lan Xichen in the entrance of the Jingshi. Lan Wangji stood beside him, his hair down. It was obvious he was prepared to go to bed.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji called his name. His voice sounded a bit strained. Had he been worried?
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian returned the salute. Then he faced Lan Xichen and bowed. “Zewu-jun, I’m happy for your safe arrival.”
“As I am for yours, young master Wei. Now that you’re here I can share the good news with both of you.”
“Good news, uh?” Wei Wuxian laughed nervously.
“The matter with the Jin Sect is settled. I have showed enough evidence that the Tyger Seal was destroyed.”
“So that’s it? Just like that everything is forgiven.”
Lan Xichen inclined his head. “Perhaps.” Wei Wuxian read between the lines: forgiven, but not forgotten. Well, he couldn’t ask for miracles. “They would not bother us again,” Lan Xichen assured them.
“Zewu-jun, thank you for doing this.” It was a bit hard for Wei Wuxian to say the words, especially when he knew the real reason behind Lan Xichen’s actions.
“We’re family,” he replied. The affirmation didn’t sit well with Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen continued talking, unaware of it, “I will take my leave now, Wangji, I must give the news to our uncle.”
Wei Wuxian bowed again and pretended he didn’t notice the encouraging gaze Lan Xichen gave Lan Wangji. They stayed outside until Lan Xichen’s silhouette disappeared. Wei Wuxian was the first to enter the Jingshi. Inside the table was set: there were two plates. Lan Wangji had been waiting for him.
“Have you eaten?” Lan Wangji asked. Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Let’s sit, then.”
They fell into their usual routine. Wei Wuxian chatted about what he had done during the day. He had missed this, having Lan Wangji’s attention focused on him. As their dinner reached its end, Wei Wuxian realized how foolish his previous decision had been.
He shouldn’t have avoided Lan Wangji. On the contrary, Wei Wuxian should have enjoyed their last days together. Their relationship would not be the same after this night. Sure, they would remain friends, and eat together from time to time, but it would never be like this: just the two of them in the Jingshi.
Before Wei Wuxian could think of something to avoid addressing the issue, Lan Wangji’s voice brought him back to the present. He said: “Our situation has changed, we don’t need to continue with the engagement anymore.”
“It’s true,” Wei Wuxian replied. He had thought he was prepared to hear the words, but the bluntless of the affirmation still disoriented him. God, he wished Lan Wangji could have waited until tomorrow to drop this. Though, Wei Wuxian understood Wangji’s urgency to take care of this matter. The sooner Wei Wuxian agreed to break their engagement, the sooner Wangji could be with his intended.
Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure when he directed his gaze towards the floor. He didn’t wanted to be there. And yet, he must endure this, for Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian looked directly into Wangji’s eyes and waved his hand for Lan Wangji to continue.
“Wei Ying, there is something you have to know.” Lan Wangji sounded nervous. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but empathize. Not so long ago, he was going to share his own feelings. Of course, Wei Wuxian’s confession was more along the lines ‘I’m in love with you’ rather than ‘I love someone else.’
Lan Wangji closed his fist over the fabric of his robes. This was difficult for him. Wei Wuxian decided to lessen Wangji’s worries. It would be better for both. This way Wei Wuxian didn’t have to hear Lan Wangji say those awful words.
“I know,” Wei Wuxian murmured. “I heard you talking with your brother before he left for Koi Tower. I know what this means for you, for us.”
For a moment Lan Wangji’s brow furrowed. It only took him a moment to understand what Wei Wuxian was implying.
“You heard us,” Lan Wangji said while nodding. His actions gave Wei Wuxian the impression he was still processing this turn of events. “What is your answer?”
Answer? It was Wei Wuxian’s turn to be confused. There hadn’t been any question directed to him that he remembered. Wangji had expressed his desire to pursue his intended once Wei Wuxian’s problem was solved. Oh, that had to be it. Lan Wangji wanted to know if he had Wei Wuxian’s support. After all, they were engaged.
“Yes, Lan Zhan, we can--” Wei Wuxian stopped mid sentence. He couldn’t say the words. He didn’t want to leave Lan Wangji’s side, but he had to, for Wangji’s sake. And, also for him, Wei Wuxian’s needed to be sincere. “I want you to be happy.”
“Is Wei Ying willing to?” The words were hesitant, as if Wangji couldn’t fully believe what Wei Wuxian was saying. This really was important for Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian smiled and whispered: “Yes, anything for you.”
Lan Wangji’s eyes softened. And if Wei Wuxian had thought Lan Wangji looked beautiful before, that was nothing compared to this. Bathed in the light of the Jingshi, Lan Wangji looked ethereal. His eyes reflected a fondness that Wei Wuxian hadn’t seen before. And if that wasn’t enough, Wangji’s lips were curled in a small smile. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel jealous of the person who managed to bring this look on Wangji and who would spend the rest of his life with him.
“You should save that face for your future spouse,” Wei Wuxian teased him. But his words had more bite than was called for.
“I will,” Lan Wangji replied almost instantly. It made something ache in Wei Wuxian’s chest, It hurt him to think he was not allowed to see that expression anymore. Wei Wuxian pushed down the ugly feeling. This was not the time to be jealous, but it was hard when Lan Wangji continued talking: “Brother offered to help us with the ceremony.”
“Yeah, I also heard that.”
“Don’t you want his help?”
Wei Wuxian didn’t understand why Lan Wangji was talking about this. Well, he should be happy that after all Wangji considered him a friend and was interested in his opinion. Still, Wei Wuxian found it odd how much Lan Wangji was relying on him.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate Zewu-jun's offer. I’m just a bit confused, I mean, why do I get to organize the wedding?”
“It’s yours too.” Lan Wangji said this like it was the most obvious thing, like Wei Wuxian’s world hadn’t been shaken by those three words.
“What?! You want to marry me? But you said . . .” Wei Wuxian tried to recall the conversation he overheard. Surely, he would remember if they had said his name. Wouldn’t he? Wei Wuxian remembered Lan Xichen’s offer and how had Wangji answered? He had said: ‘We are already engaged.’ Which could only mean-- “You were talking about me,” Wei Wuxian murmured.
It had to be that! Wei Wuxian was the one who Lan Wangji wanted to marry!! His shijie was right, Lan Wangji did love him back. Wei Wuxian was so surprised by this turn of events that he didn’t realize Wangji was coming up with his own conclusion.
Gone was the light from Lan Wangji’s features. If Wei Wuxian didn’t know about his feelings, then there was only another alternative. He voiced out his thoughts: “You thought I wanted to break our engagement and you agreed.”
Lan Wangji’s words reminded Wei Wuxian that they'd been having two differents conversations at the same time. And judging by the change in Wangji’s demeanor the misunderstanding wasn’t over.
“Uhh, about that.” Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to say. He thought it was important to address the issue of the wedding first. “Well, now that I know, we can carry on with--”
“Don’t,” Lan Wangji interrupted him. Wei Wuxian was getting better at reading Wangji and he could hear the words he wasn’t saying: Wei Ying, you don’t owe me anything.
Oh, no, Lan Wangji was under the impression Wei Wuxian really wanted to break the engagement. It seemed Wei Wuxian had ruined everything before it started. Perhaps it was better this way. Lan Wangji deserved someone better than Wei Wuxian. And yet, for some unknown reason Wangji wanted him. Wei Wuxian couldn’t give up now that he knew this.
Wei Wuxian made sure to look directly into Lan Wangji’s eyes when he began to speak.
“Lan Zhan, listen to me. If after hearing this you still want to break our engagement, I won't insist. The day I heard you talking with your brother, I wanted to confess my feelings. But then I heard you. Lan Zhan, I thought you were talking about someone else, that you were in love with that person and I was in the way.” The last bit was hard to say. Even now that he knew it wasn’t true, it still hurt to remember how those words made him feel.
“Wei Ying, you’re the one I love,” Lan Wangji said firmly. There was determination in his voice even if his ears were becoming red. This little detail made Wei Wuxian smile.
“And I love you, Lan Zhan, say you would only marry me.”
There was no other person with whom Lan Wangji wished to spend his life. And so, he simply answered: “Yes, only Wei Ying.”
Six months later, Wei Wuxian smiled at the scene before him. Lan Wangji was talking with Jiang Yanli, while A-Ling, who was in his mother's arms, was trying to reach towards his new uncle. Who could blame the insistence of their nephew? Lan Wangji looked stunning in red.
They had married just a few hours ago. Wei Wuxian couldn’t believe his luck. To think he came so close to losing it all. They had worked out the misunderstanding and Wei Wuxian still felt a bit guilty for overcomplicating things. If he had paid more attention to the conversation (or better yet if he hadn’t eavesdropped), the matter would have been resolved earlier.
“There is no need for remorse,” Lan Xichen said as he joined Wei Wuxian.
“Was I being too obvious?”
“No,” Lan Xichen replied, “I just happen to have a lot of practice.” Wei Wuxian understood what he meant. Wei Wuxian’s expressions were child's play compared to Lan Wangji’s unreadable face. Lan Xichen added, “Though, you don’t need to be me to see that Wangji’s happy today.”
Lan Xichen was right. Nobody could deny Lan Wangji was content, that he wished for this marriage. Wei Wuxian was jealous that other people got to see this side of Lan Wangji, but he also was proud to be the one who made it possible. Besides, now Wei Wuxian had his whole life to share with Lan Wangji.
“I’m getting better at reading him, you know.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“Any advice?”
“Just one: next time you overhear a conversation, make sure to hear it completely,” Lan Xichen commented casually.
“What?”
“Last time, if you had listened till the end, you would have heard Wangji say that a marriage with you could never be loveless.”
“Then, why did he wait to tell me?” Wei Wuxian asked. Lan Wangji’s actions were a bit confusing. Why wait to confess his feelings? It didn’t make sense, unless . . . “It was because of me, right?”
Lan Xichen nodded. Wei Wuxian understood it now. Since the beginning the only thing that Lan Wangji had in mind was Wei Wuxian’s well being. Only after the Jin Sect stopped targeting him would Wei Wuxian be able to really choose if he wished to marry. Only then could Lan Wangji confess without jeopardizing Wei Wuxian’s protection within the Lan Sect.
While Wei Wuxian had been clueless of his feelings, Lan Wangji had been sure of his own. And he had stayed silent in order order to not pressure Wei Wuxian. That’s why Lan Wangji had asked for his brother’s help. He wanted to give Wei Wuxian another option in which he could be safe and free. Even if that option didn’t include Lan Wangji.
They had been such a fools.
“Thank you, Zewu-jun, for everything.” Wei Wuxian bowed.
“Like I said, we're family.”
This time the affirmation filled Wei Wuxian with warmth. He looked over, where Jin Ling had achieved his goal and was now perched in Lan Wangji’s arms.
“Yes we are,” Wei Wuxian replied.