Chapter Text
It's the middle of the night, and you are in the middle of sleep and wakefulness, listening to the electricity buzz in the creaky old walls of your house. The night is peaceful, and all you hear are the soft snores of Jake and Jade in the rooms next to you.
You hear the screen door slam open, and a familiar clomp clomp clomp up the stairs. Jane must be back from fucking around in the feilds.You almost don't realize how urgent it is. Almost.
She stomps up the stairs with more of a fever than usual, her steps carrying more weight. You think to go calm her down, but your mind is too drunk with sleep to let you think clearly.
She starts banging on Jade's door, yelling for her to wake the fuck up or so help her God she’s getting shit shoveling chores for the next month. She hovers over your door for a second until you make an affirming noise that yeah, hold your goddamn horses, you’ll be out in a second
You sigh and roll sluggishly out of bed, the straps of your tank top tangled in to the earrings you forgot to take off. You tiptoe quietly around Pumpernickel, careful not to wake your sweet baby up.
JUNE: what the fuckity is this about?
JADE: I don't know, she's really worked up!!!
JANE: OF FUCKING COURSE IM WORKED UP A SPACESHIP JUST CRASHED IN THE FEILDS!!!!!
Her breathing is labored, and her fists clenched. Whatever she saw rattled her to her core.
What could shake someone so hard her pupils broke in two?
JADE: Are you sure it wasn't those kids playing a prank or something??
JANE: No, it fell straight from the sky, like a falling star or something!
JANE: Do you not believe me?
JADE: No, no, we believe you!
JADE: It’s just
JADE:Well
JADE: It’s not every day a satellite drops from the sky!!
JANE: I
She gulps.
JANE: i dont think it was a satellite.
---------------------------------------------------
You wake up with your girlfriend on top of you.
Not in like, a gay way, her elbow is digging right into your boob and actually, that really hurts. She’s flopped out over you like a dead fish, and you dont want to wake her, but god, your tit’s going numb, so you roll her like a barrel off of you.
TEREZI: 44H
TEREZI: YOU B1TCH
VRISKA: im your bitch :::;)
She punches you on the arm, and you want to mess her lipstick up all over her face, but now’s not the time for that.
VRISKA: KARKAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DO YOU FUCKING WANT ???? I AM STUCK IN THE FUCKING TRASH RECEPTACLE!!!
You look around, and oh my gog, there he is!!! His tiny feet stick out of the bin, wiggling like a grub.
You cackle like a demon, and nudge the lump that is your lover, but she just gurgles and stops moving.
She’s…….probably not dead.
You hope.
You help Karkat out of the bin, which is a bit hard because hes really fucking lodged in there, but evertually you separate his ass from the trash and he goes flying into your chest, knocking the wind right out of you.
VRISKA: oof!
VRISKA: been hitting the hunger trunk, eh, karky?????????
KARKAT: GO LICK A BUCKET YOU SATANIC GNOME-BITCH!!!
You cackle as he gets off of you, patting his tummy as he glares over you.
VRISKA: did you see where kanaya w8nt?????????
KARKAT: I WAS A LITTLE FUCKING BUSY WRIGGLING LIKE A GRUBNOOK YOU FESTERING FUCKPOT!!!
VRISKA: ?
KARKAT: NO I HAVEN’T.
VRISKA: see, was that so hard?
KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
You leave him to have his tantrum, and search for your friend.
VRISKA: kanaya????????
KANAYA: Oh Vriska Thank The Mother Grub!!
VRISKA: heh heh……… i am pretty awesome
KANAYA: I Will Compliment You Later Darling Please Help Me
You search through the rubble and find Kanaya lying with her foot under some rubble.
VRISKA: thats it?????????
KANAYA: Oh Shut Up, Just Get Me Out!
VRISKA: yes ma'am!!!!!!!!
You lift her up deftly to her feet, steadying her as she wobbles slightly. She dusts herself off and straightens herself out. Mostly to herself, she mumbles something like oh my goodness what an awful occurrence blah blah blah. You love Kanaya but gog, she’s too polite!!!!!!!!! If she’d go apeshit once in a while, then maybe you could stand her more.
VRISKA: ok, nerds, gather by the bin, its plan time.
KARKAT:WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PLAN IS GOING TO SAVE US FROM WHATEVER WEIRD ALIENS ARE WAITING OUT IN THE OUT???
TEREZI:1 HOP3 TH3 41L3NS T4ST3 GOOD
VRISKA: ikr???????
KANAYA: Well,
KANAYA: I Propose We At Least Scout The Area Out
KANAYA: Who Knows, There Could Be No Alien Life On This Planet
VRISKA: ok, im picking up wh8t you’re putting down……..
KARKAT: BUT WHAT IF THERE’S SOME SORT OF, I DON'T KNOW, CULLBEAST OUT THERE READY TO SLIT OUR PUNY THROATS????
KARKAT: I PROPOSE WE STAY HERE AND WAIT OUT THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
VRISKA: I prop8se a vote, raise hands for kittykat’s shitty plan?
You, Terezi and Kanaya stay silent, and you can see Karkat slowly rupturing his thinkpan.
VRISKA: Alright now who wants to do Kanaya’s infin8ly better plan????????
Karkat makes a sound like a whistling leafsoupkettle as you smugly raise your hand, along with your fellow smarter peers.
KARKAT: ALL FUCKING RIGHT WE’LL DO YOUR DANGEROUS ASS PLAN BUT IF WE DIE I’M BLAMIGNG ALL OF YO-
He stops his rant as his ears twitch. You take that as a sign to put your own guard up, readying your fists for conflict.
A voice breaks through the silence, but it’s not any one of yours.
????: what the fuck???