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I'm 17 (I Don't Know Anything)

Summary:

Beth can't explain it. Things with Rick were fine, then suddenly they weren't? Yolanda and Courtney are lost.

Notes:

thanks to the discord for the title. enjoy some teen drama

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Rick was leaning against Beth’s locker when she came out of her class at the bell. 

 

“How was it?” 

 

Beth zipped her bag, tossing in her pencil case. The day was over and she was eager to get to the garage for some JSA training. They had to put things on hold, there were a lot of assignments and a lot of studying this year, and Pat wanted them to do well in school. It’s been too long since they’ve suited up to have a fun time challenging each other rather than because there was an emergency mission. “The test? Yeah, it went well. Chuck quizzed me all night.”

 

“I know,” he murmured, crowding her against the metal rows to steal a kiss. Oh. Beth wore a pleased smile for the few moments she had before her mouth was too busy kissing her boyfriend. She loved it when Rick got needy with the PDA—Not that they did it often— Rick used to be so distanced with his emotions before they really became friends. Maybe it was Beth’s old loser table insecurities creeping in, but it still marvelled her that someone could want her so bad. Beth grabbed onto his shirt collar eagerly for another kiss. “You postponed our date.”

 

She raised an eyebrow and poked at one of his ribs. “You’re not jealous of my time with Chuck, are you?”

 

Rick scoffed with a smile. “No!”

 

Beth continued her poking. “Because I can divide my time equally.” 

 

“I believe you,” he said in a teasing way that implied he really didn’t, but there wasn’t much he could do. He knew once he started dating her that Beth and Chuck came as a package deal.

 

She packed everything she needed then looked at him. Her locker was in terrible condition and she often felt like Artemis bodyslamming against it in order to get the door to stick. Rick closed her jammed locker with a push and his knee. 

 

“I can,” she insisted. “Thank you.”  Beth stretched up on her tippy-toes, pulling his head down until she could kiss him at her level. He softened like putty under her spell. 

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she promised. She played with the front of his hair, pulling a few strands out to fall over his eyes. “And certainly want to make up for it.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Absolutely. C’mere.” 

 

She went for another kiss, but it ended shortly because Yolanda threw herself against Beth’s locker just as Beth got a noise out of him. Yolanda put an arm over her eyes and let out a very overdramatic groan. “Oh to be young and in love and in high school!” she mocked, talking as if she were the lead in a Shakespearean play. “What misery, the date of Olive Garden vanquished by the practice examinations for SATs.”

 

Courtney appeared out of nowhere too, propping her elbow against Rick’s arm. 

 

“Justin is rubbing off on you, Yolanda.” 

 

Yolanda smirked. “What was it that he called you guys last week, again? The Earl and Duchess of Righteous Unity? That’s Camelot talk for soulmates.” 

 

Rick shared an awkward look with Beth. 

 

“Nooooo, you’re embarrassing them!” Courtney smacked her, but she was also giggling into her palm. Yolanda shoved Courtney’s hand aside.

 

“That’s the point, yeah.” 

 

She didn’t know if he was feeling what she was, but something went wrong in her heart the moment he pulled away from her and she slipped her hands back into the sleeves of her yellow sweater. Beth felt a freezing sensation in her veins. Like Icicle got to her bloodstream or something. Her eyes widened, desperate to search something in his gaze and panicked when he went blank instead. That freezing heart of hers sank. Rick. Beth mentally willed him to react. Laugh it off. Smile. Make a joke, anything. 

 

But he didn’t. He stood there like a block of handsome tall teenager confused for a wall. 

 

Beth didn’t know what to do. 

 

Courtney and Yolanda’s laughter died off when neither Rick or Beth said anything in reply. Courtney nudged Rick. “She’s just teasing you guys.” 

 

More silence and it was getting weird. Beth tried to speak, but her voice felt incredibly small for the first time ever, like if she tried to use it the only thing she might do is cry. Yolanda frowned.

 

“Guys?”

 

“I gotta go,” Rick said with a start. “See you, uh—later.” Every word was stiff, almost as if he had to force them out of his mouth then regretted them once they were out there, hanging between them.  

 

He bent down on autopilot to kiss Beth’s cheek, but jerked away at the last second and fumbled again. “Right. Bye.” 

 

Beth folded her arms to herself, staring at her shoes with a worried lip as Rick disappeared into the sea of students. 

 

“Beth—?” Yolanda said to fill up the silence.  “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“I—” She picked up her bag and put it on, following the crowd that Rick slipped into. Courtney and Yolanda hurried up, taking each spot beside her as they walked out of school. “It’s not your fault.” 

 

“What do you mean it’s not her fault?” Courtney said, narrowly dodging getting elbowed in the eye by Isaac’s tuba. The marching band was single filing onto the bus for a state championship this weekend. 

 

“You said we were young and in love,” Beth explained, already feeling fragile to say it out loud. “Rick and I.” 

 

Courtney glanced at Yolanda who shrugged. “But…. you are.” 

 

Are we? A voice in her head shrilled at her between her ears. The thought bounced around her brain like a basketball. Beth was going to go crazy at the stream of thoughts that would follow if she let herself fall down that rabbit hole. She just wanted to run home and cry to Chuck or call Rick to ask him or--No. Not to do that. First plan. Cry with Chuck. 

 

Beth started to walk on without the girls, a hand fiddling with her rainbow pendant. “I guess,” she said. 

 

“What do you mean, you guess?” 

 

Beth turned on her heel in front of the Blue Valley Tires mural. “I think we’re in love. I  hope we are. It’s what I want, of course. I just...don’t know yet. We never talked about it.”

 

Courtney looked like she was about to have an aneurysm. “You two never talked about your feelings????”

 

“It sounds bad when you say it like that!”

 

Yolanda picked her own jaw up from the floor. “Because it is! You’re kidding, right? Rick loves you. And you love Rick!”

 

Beth looked increasingly troubled.

 

Courtney grabbed Beth’s arm. “You do love him, right?”

 

Beth shook off Courtney’s hand. “Of course I do,” she replied softly. The three girls took up the entire width of the sidewalk as they walked to the Garage. “I just never told him. I wasn’t sure how he’d react.”

 

“But—”

 

“And he never told me! He practically ran away, Court! I don’t think I’m overthinking this.”

 

“What?” 

 

“What??” 

 

Beth froze in front of the Pit Stop when she realized that’s exactly where Rick was waiting for them. “I can’t go in there.” 

 

 “Oh my god!” Yolanda pulled at her braids in exasperation. “Beth, this is crazy! If you love Rick then you have to tell him! He probably thought it was awkward for the same reason you did because you didn’t say anything either!” 

 

“Yeah,” said Court. “This is our first training session in weeks. We can’t afford to have in-fighting. Pat will get so frustrated!” 

 

Beth peeked in through the door. Rick wasn’t talking to Pat in the entrance or by the cars, which meant he was probably up at the loft. Their spot. Her heart flipped the way it always did. 

 

Yolanda looped her arm around Courtney’s, pulling her inside. “We’re gonna get changed and get snacks,” she told Beth. “You two better get your acts together before we come back.” 

 

~.~ 

 

Beth found Rick on the couch in the loft. His arm was slung over his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling. 


“Beth,” he said the moment the stairs stopped creaking when she got to the top. She stared at him laying down like that. If this were yesterday she would’ve settled herself in by letting his head fall into her lap. She’d have lowered his hood and stroked his hair as he rested there in his suit like a superhero on call, waiting for the alarm to sound. She’d have filled the quiet with chatter that he’d listen to, drifting off to sleep. She’d have played with his keys, rattling the chain so that they’d chime in a way only Rick Tyler would call a lullaby. 

 

Beth didn’t know why she was acting like she’d have only done that yesterday. She’d have done it an hour ago. She wanted to do it right now. Beth loved him. 

 

“Yeah?” Her voice came out higher pitched than she wanted it to. 

 

“What the hell just happened?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“It was like, one minute everything was fine and the next I wasn’t even sure if—” 

 

“You don’t have to worry about that, Rick.” She took a deep breath. “I do.” 

 

Rick sat up. His boots squelched against the floor. “You what?” 

 

Beth took a step forward, glad that she got rid of her bag downstairs. Rick stood up too. Beth found herself straining her fingers up to get Rick to duck his head. She removed the hood and cupped his face. “I think you know.” 

 

Rick’s eyes were on hers like she held his world in place. And everything suddenly became so silly. How could either of them doubt this for what it was? 

 

“We’ve been dating for nearly a year.” Rick’s soft smile was still a treasure Beth found she’d covet for.

 

“Has it really been that long?” 

 

“You know it has.” 

 

Beth grinned because she had never lost track of any time before. Not hers. Not his. 

 

 “And I’ve been in love with you for all of it.” 

 

There was no stretch of silence this time. No unsure glance or worried paranoia, spreading from one to the other. This wasn’t mislabeled. 

 

“Oh,” said the airy breath that got knocked out from her lungs. Her fingers wandered over Rick’s face, marvelling the way his eyelids fell when her fingers lightly traced over them.  “Yes. Okay.” 

 

He laughed. “Okay?” he repeated.

 

This was the big moment. The thing they should’ve talked about ages ago. It could’ve been downright crazy to Courtney and Yolanda for them to not understand. Beth was a talker. Rick barely bottled his emotions. They were obviously in love. But they didn’t see these moments between them. When Rick bent down so Beth could kiss him. When Beth learned to drive with his Mustang. The hours at night she’d spend with Chuck, daydreaming about the way his hand only reached for hers to hold in the sewers when she was supposed to be studying. There were things Beth knew. Deep down, without asking. She didn’t need to push. Rick never needed anyone to push him. He did all the fighting himself. 

 

But for Beth to use every word but those three? She didn't even need to. 

 

“Yolanda was right about us.” 

Notes:

idk if this even makes any sense