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For You, I Would Die A Thousand Times

Summary:

The blade hovers over his heart.

"It's ok Arthur. It's all ok."

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Merlin overlooks the grassy stretch, eye wandering over the outlaying trees, to the castle that lays beyond.

 

It's nice in the clearing.

 

So very nicenicenice, Merlin thinks. It really is beautiful like this, away from the daily bustle in the citadel. Arthur would agree. It can't be easy, being king and all. 

 

"I love it here." He smiles wistfully. "Don't you?"

 

The wind whistles in response.

 

Merlin frowns. "Arthur?"

 

The edge of a sword presses against his neck. 

 

He stiffens.

 

And he smiles.

 

"Playing the cowards game are we?" Merlin's eyes flicker to the side, searching for the face of his offender. "I have to say I'm disappointed in you. If you're going to kill me, the least you could do is look me in the eye." 

 

Merlin can practically feel the anger radiating off of the man behind him, and does his best not to flinch. "Isn't there something in the knights code about harming a man with no defense? Where is your honour, sir knight?"

 

Honour?

 

Honourhonourhonour 

 

Where is your honour, King Arthur?

 

"Quite irrelevant when the man has magic." 

 

A chill travels up his spine. "So you know then." It is not a question.

 

"That you're a sorcerer."

 

"Yes." 

 

Arthurs breath stutters as he digs the blade into his skin, just light enough for beads of blood to sprout against his skin. "Then you realize I have to kill you."

 

Merlin pauses shortly. "Alright."

 

"Alright?" Arthur repeats, incredulous, before hardening. His knuckles tighten on the hilt, turning white with strain. "Whatever you're playing at-" 

 

Merlin tsks. "You've always been a little bit of an idiot haven't you?" He receives a knee to the back for that. Merlin inhales sharply, lurching forward and hissing as the sword cuts deeper. "Well that wasn't very nice-" 

 

"-Shut up." 

 

He does.

 

Arthur does too, for a long time.

 

"Why Merlin? Why magic?"

 

And it is quiet, and small, and sososo...

 

… Something.

 

It's.

 

Something.

 

Betrayed?

 

Betrayed is what it is. 

 

The edges of Merlin's lips upturn gently. Sadly. "For you of course." 

 

Foryouforyouforyou 

 

"All for you."

 

Foryouforyouforyou 

 

"Stop. Stop it."

 

"It's okay Arthur."

 

"No, no it's-"

 

"Yes, Arthur. I understand."

 

"Don't call me that."

 

Merlin laughs. "What, Arthur? That's your name isn't it?"

 

Arthur wretches his sword away, spinning Merlin around, and shoving him to the ground, a foot pressed into his stomach. 

 

He lifts Excalibur once more.

 

The blade.

 

The blade hovers over his heart.

 

It's not real rage in his gaze, though Merlin almost wishes it was. 

 

Then this would go. Much quicker.

 

And Merlin wouldn't have to look into tear filled eyes, and trembling lips, and tell himself that any of this is okay in the slightest. 

 

He does.

 

"It's okay." 

 

His voice cracks.

 

"It's all okay."

 

 

Notes:

I just realized the irony of listened to "I Can't Decide" by Scissor Sisters as I write this, I wish I was joking. I didn't even register it until the end, whoops.