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Lan WangJi should have insisted on remaining in the Jin sect compound instead of following the others out into Koi Tower.

The brothel was crowded and noisy. Sect Leader Jin was seated at a high table, several of the prostitutes draping themselves over him, fighting to win his favour for the night. He’d rented out the entire place for their party, telling the group of disciples that, as their night hunt had gone so well, they should indulge themselves.

His son, Jin ZiXuan, was sat at a table by his father, posture almost as stiff as Lan WangJi’s. He’d consented to a drink, then sat with his eyes cast modestly down, as though that would allow him to deny the truth of his father’s behaviour.

This was not just. This was not right.

Lan WangJi wished he were back at Cloud Recesses. This kind of behaviour would never had stood at Cloud Recesses. His uncle would have cast Sect Leader Jin down simply for suggesting such a thing.

They had spoken of inviting the disciples of the various clans to Cloud Recesses to train. Lan WangJi had agreed it was a good idea, he had even allowed himself the small indulgence of looking forward to the chance to meet his fellow disciples. He enjoyed learning from and with those who were part of the Lan sect, he had thought other sects disciples would be similar in temperament.

Across from him, Nie HuaiSang was entertaining three women, each of them barely dressed. Or they were entertaining him. His cheeks were flushed with drink and he seemed delighted by them. Jiang WanYin was similarly surrounded, though he did at least seem embarrassed by the fact. Wen Ning, a few tables down, was talking seriously with one prostitute, who leant in close to hear his quiet voice. Lan WangJi wondered what Wen Ning’s sister would think of this excursion, he doubted she’d approve.

His own brother would, no doubt, be disappointed if he learnt that Lan WangJi had agreed to this. He should have refused. He should have rejected the invitation to study at Koi Tower, sent before Cloud Recesses could decide to send an invitation of their own.

Across the room, a girl who had been fawning on the arm of a disciple of a lesser sect caught his eye. A brief, calculating look flickered over her face that she smiled shyly at him, ducking her head behind her sleeve to hide her smile and then daring at glance at him again, no doubt hoping to catch his interest where the other women had failed.

He stood quickly and grabbed his sword. He’d thought, by agreeing to attend, that he might bring some moderation to the group. He had been wrong.

He needed to go.

Nobody called after him as he left the hall, leaving behind the cheering and the giggling and the barely tolerable music. He would return to his rooms and meditate. He should be sleeping already but his blood was boiling. To know of Sect Leader Jin’s reputation was one thing, to watch him blatantly flirt with women, to be disloyal to his wife, to bring his own son and the sons of other families here to indulge!

He encountered nobody as he moved through the building, searching for a window. He didn’t want to leave by the door, he didn’t want to cause a scene. He wanted, simply, to be gone.

And then he heard the music.

It was distant at first, the soft sound of a dizi, its song slightly melancholy, but as he approached he realised that it was being played with more skill than any of the instruments in the hall he’d just left.

He found himself drawing to a stop a little short of the room the sound was coming from and listening. He let his eyes drift closed as he focused on the sound. It was played not just with skill, but with emotion. Whoever was in that room, they clearly truly understood their instrument.

He wondered if they’d like to play together.

It was an absurd notion. This was a brothel. He should not even be here and, whoever was in that room, surely they wouldn’t want to play music with him.

Still, there was something in the music, something he couldn’t walk away from.

And then the music ended. Lan WangJi found he still couldn’t move, waiting to see if the player began again. Instead, there were footsteps and the door slid open.

“Er Gege,” a voice asked, the owner stepping out into the hallway. “Would you like to hear me play some more?”

As much as he’d allowed himself to imagine the player, he’d thought of a woman, maybe a little older so she wasn’t requested by Sect Leader Jin for their party. The person standing in the hallway was not that. He was male, a little shorter than Lan WangJi, his long hair tied back with a red ribbon, his black robes falling slightly from his shoulders to better display his long neck, a smudge of rouge on his lips.

He was beautiful.

He seemed surprised by Lan WangJi too, his eyes flickering to the ribbon on his forehead. There was a flash of recognition there. The man smiled and bowed.

“Ah, Young Master Lan, is it? Did you become lost? Would you like this humble one to guide you back to the hall or, perhaps, to an exit?”

He must have looked as uncomfortable as he felt for the man to offer him that. He should have accepted. He should have allowed the man to lead him to the nearest door and retreated to sleep and meditation.

“Second Young Master Lan,” he corrected instead. “Will you play for me?”

The man seemed genuinely surprised by that. “Of course, if that’s what Second Young Master Lan wants,” he said, bowing. “Will you come in?”

He stepped back and gestured and it would have been impolite for Lan WangJi not to enter the room so he did. The room was more decadent than he would have expected but, then, he supposed it was decorated for the clients this man would attend to here. Which, apparently, now included himself, though he had no intention of doing anything but listening to the music.

To even think of anything else would be absurd.

“Ah, Second Young Master Lan,” the man said, following him into the room. “Go ahead and sit, make yourself at home. Would you like a drink? We serve only the finest alcohol here.”

“No alcohol,” Lan WangJi said. He scanned the room then sat, slowly, at the table where dizi was laid out.

“Tea, then?”

“I wish to hear you play,” he said. The other man nodded, finally moving to take up his instrument again.

“Any song in particular?”

Lan WangJi shrugged. The man lifted the dizi and started to play, it was the kind of music they were playing downstairs, light and pleasing, but nothing like the music he’d played before. It lacked complexity and emotion, though it was played with technical skill. Then man played a little then stopped, slowly lowering the instrument.

“No,” he said, slowly. “That’s not right is it? That’s not what you want to hear. Let’s begin again.”

He lifted the dizi again and, this time, the song he played was much more like the song he’d been playing when Lan WangJi arrived. It was deep, complex and showed the skill of the player to good effect. As the man played it, his expression became focused and intense and Lan WangJi found that he couldn’t look away.

The piece ended and the man lowered his dizi, smiling in a satisfied way, as though pleased with his performance. Lan WangJi’s eyes were drawn to the man’s lips again, painted with rouge. They looked full, soft.

“Was that what you wanted, Second Young Master Lan?” the man asked, turning to look at Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi could only nod. “You have good taste, I have to say. Most of the people who come here wouldn’t be able to appreciate a piece like that. Do you play, Second Young Master Lan?”

Lan WangJi nodded again, then reached into the Qi pouch in his sleeve and pulled out his guqin. The other man’s face lit up with joy.

“Oh, you have it with you! Would you like to play together, Second Young Master Lan? What songs do you know?”

Lan WangJi thought a moment, then lifted his fingers to the strings. He began to play, a song he’d learnt as a boy that was quite popular. The other man nodded, bringing the dizi to his lips and joining in at an appropriate time.

Lan WangJi had played with many people, somehow none of those experiences compared to playing in the back room of a brothel with a prostitute, a man who’s name he didn’t even know. Somehow, as they played, the music slid easily together, creating a melody that was more than simply the sum of its two parts but something entirely its own.

For a while, he was able to lose himself in the music. They slid between songs, leading each other through harmony. Playing with another had never been this intuitive before, it was clear this man was intelligent and quick witted as he kept up so well, never seeming surprised or disturbed by anything Lan WangJi did.

They might have played longer if the door hadn’t suddenly opened, the girl who’d been making eyes at him before stumbling into the room.

“Wei Ying,” she said, eyes wide, lips parted, “What are you…” Then she saw him.

He watched the colour drain from her face.

“Oh, Second Young Master Lan, I’m so sorry,” she said, bowing so low her forehead touched the floor. “Please forgive my interruption. I didn’t realise you were here.”

“It’s fine,” he said. He couldn’t help staring at her, though, as though that alone would compel her to get up and leave.

“It’s just that the other young masters left so I thought you must have gone with them, Second Young Master Lan. Only Sect Leader Jin is still here.”

“Ah,” Lan WangJi said. Reluctantly, he picked up his guqin and slid it back into his pouch. “It is be best that I leave.”

“You don’t have to,” the man, Wei Ying, said, frowning. “We were having a lot of fun, weren’t we?” Lan WangJi couldn’t help but nod, they had been. He hadn’t imagined that anything good could come of a visit to a brothel but, then, he’d never imagined someone like Wei Ying.

“Of course you can stay, Second Young Master Lan. The sect leader has so graciously paid for the services of the entire house all night to entertain his party, but I had thought that the other young masters might miss you if you don’t join them and I wouldn’t want Second Young Master Lan’s reputation to suffer if it were discovered that he were spending time with a cut-sleeve courtesan.”

Which was a valid point. He saw the moment Wei Ying realised that too, the smile falling from his face. Lan WangJi wished he could put the smile back there, Wei Ying was so much better with it.

The girl was right, though. He had to go.

He rose, and Wei Ying turned to him, bowing. He bowed back, which seemed to shock Wei Ying. “Thank you for playing with me.”

“Any time, Second Young Master Lan,” Wei Ying said, bowing even deeper. “It was a pleasure.”

Lan WangJi felt there was something hanging between them still, something that needed to be addressed, but he couldn’t even begin to understand it, let alone find the words to voice it. Instead, he nodded and walked to the door. The girl there shuffled back, promising to show him the way out, and he let her lead him, leaving Wei Ying behind.

*

The training period ended and he returned to Cloud Recesses. He continued to study: spending his time in meditation, training and reading. He played the guqin to practice his technique. He learnt useful songs.

He certainly didn’t dream of lips, coloured with the slightest hint of rouge, pressed to a dizi and, if he did, he made sure to forget again as quickly as he could.

And then Cloud Recesses burned.

*

His leg ached. He’d wrapped it tight that morning before he’d dared to venture into town but it still ached every time he put even the slightest weight on it and it was slowing him down more and more every day. He’d been lucky to slip away from Cloud Recesses without being caught, he could feel that his luck would run out soon.

Especially as he was in Wen territory.

He hadn’t meant to be here. He’d aimed to head to Lanling, to Koi Tower. Of course, that was the first place they thought to look for him. Roads had been blocked everywhere he went and even though he’d changed his Lan sect uniform for cheap common clothing and wrapped his headband around his wrist to hide it, he’d nearly been caught twice and been forced to divert.

And now he was in Shangoju, in desperate pain, his money almost gone, his stomach empty, and the entire place crawling with Wen cultivators.

He stuck to the back streets, making sure to hide his face and keep out of sight, but he was noticed anyway. It was the limp, probably. Or the look of desperation on his face. Either way, he felt eyes on him wherever he went.

Still, he needed food. He managed to make it to the market and buy some steamed buns. After so long without eating, they were delicious. He could use his power to sustain himself without food but there were limits and he was at the very end of his.

He took the steamed buns down a side street and sat on the floor. Before, when Cloud Recesses was standing, when he knew where his family were, pride would have prevented him from sitting on the ground. Now, he folded himself small and tore into the steam buns, devouring one in only a few mouthfuls then forcing himself to take the others more slowly. He had no idea where he’d get more.

The urge to lie down right there, his stomach no longer empty, and snatch a few moment’s sleep was almost irresistible, but he did still have some pride.

Instead, he forced himself up and out into the street, and almost walked into a group of Wen cultivators.

He didn’t know their faces, thankfully, which meant they might not recognise him either. He still turned quickly, limping away, casting desperate looks over his shoulder to see they were still harassing a street vendor, they hadn’t noticed him.

They he crashed into someone, his shoulder colliding with another shoulder.

There was a faint, familiar scent. Eyes he could only just remember and those lips, still tinged red with rouge, that had haunted his dreams for so long now.

“Wei Ying.”

For a second, then man he’d bumped into looked confused, and Lan WangJi doubted himself. Perhaps it was the hunger, the pain, clouding his judgement, making him see what he wanted to. After all, Wei Ying had been in Koi Tower, in a brothel frequented by the sect leader himself. Why would be he here in Shangoju?

But, then a flicker of recognition.

“Oh, Lan-”

Wei Ying stopped himself, then glanced over Lan WangJi’s shoulder to where the Wen cultivators were still gathered. Something in his eye turned calculating but, before Lan WangJi could worry, Wei Ying was turning, sliding his hand under Lan WangJi’s arm to bear his weight and walking.

“My old friend,” he said, pulling Lan WangJi along. “I didn’t expect to see you in a place like this.”

“Nor I you,” Lan WangJi said, happy to lean. Wei Ying began to chatter, talking about the things to see and do in Shangoju like he was talking to any old acquaintance, but his eyes scanned the crowd and his fingers were tight where they closed on Lan WangJi’s arm.

And then he was being tugged down an ally.

“Quickly,” Wei Ying hissed in his ear, and Lan WangJi obligingly stumbled as quickly as he could on his broken leg, following Wei Ying down and through a shabby door into a plain corridor. Wei Ying pulled the door to and knelt there for a second, eyes to the crack then, eventually, nodded.

“They’re gone,” he said, standing up. “Come on, quickly. It’s best that nobody knows you’re here.”

Lan WangJi couldn’t have argued if he wanted to. Instead he let Wei Ying lead him into what was, undoubtedly, a brothel. Not as richly decorated as the one at Koi Tower but, still, not shabby. Wei Ying lead him down corridors and up stairs into a room not unlike the one from Koi Tower. Spacious, well decorated, with an area for entertaining, an area with a privacy screen, and a large, bed spread with pillows and blankets.

Wei Ying ushered him behind the privacy screen, then went back to the door and knelt to listen. Lan WangJi settled on the floor, back to the wall. He shifted for a while, trying to find a position in which his leg didn’t ache. Thought the pain, at least, kept him from slipping into the deep sleep that was tugging at the edges of his mind.

It had almost finally claimed him when Wei Ying reappeared.

“Second Young Master Lan,” he said, coming to crouch by Lan WangJi’s side. “Let me see your leg.”

“It’s fine,” he said, a reflex after all this time, but Wei Ying ignored him, pushing his robes aside and his trouser leg up then setting Lan WangJi’s leg in his lap as he unwrapped the bandages.

It looked bad. Lan WangJi didn’t have to look now to know that it looked bad, he’d been the one to bandage it. His skin was mottled with bruises and swollen. Wei Ying examined it grimly. “Is it broken?”

“Yes,” Lan WangJi said. Wei Ying just nodded.

“Okay, then we’ll need a proper splint and some medicines. You’ll need to stay hidden here until I get back. Nobody should come behind this screen, they all know by now that I’m really messy and they just leave me alone.”

Lan WangJi glanced around. It was messy, robes dropped everywhere, books strewn about, he could see a pile of music. It was the opposite of his own home, near and ordered and empty.

He nodded, which made Wei Ying smile at him.

He’d missed that smile. It made no sense, they’d spent approximately an hour together years ago and only played music, but he’d missed that smile.

“Okay, rest,” Wei Ying said, standing. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

It was less than a minute before Lan WangJi finally slid into sleep.

*

He woke again to the sound of a stifled moan from the other side of the screen.

He froze instantly, listening as the moan came again, deep and in Wei Ying’s unmistakable tones. “Oh, Er Gege,” he breathed, and there was another person there, panting. Moving. Lan WangJi could hear the slide of bodies. “Oh yes, Er Gege. You’re so good to this poor, worthless one.”

“Shut up,” the man grunted, and Lan WangJi’s hands balled into fists, nails digging into the palms of his hands. “Here, on your front.”

“Anything Er Gege wants,” Wei Ying said. Lan WangJi glanced down. His sword was right there. He could grab it and in a second and… and what? Kill the man touching Wei Ying? A man who was only doing what many men had undoubtedly done before.

He forced himself to lie still, to count out his own breaths, though all he could hear was the slide of skin on skin, the panting, the slaps of bodies as the man began to thrust.

Lan WangJi knew most people thought him pure. He was, but not innocent. He knew of matters between men and women, and between men and men, from medical texts. He could listen, now, and put the actions into those terms. Phallus. Penetration. Ejaculation.

Wei Ying made a breathy little moan, a genuine sound of pleasure pulled from his body. Lan WangJi was impossibly hard. He had to dig his fingers into the discarded robes he was lying on to avoid touching himself.

And then the man, whoever he was, called Wei Ying a disgusting prostitute and he was fighting not to reach for his sword again.

Eventually, they finished. The man grunted and spluttered and Wei Ying told him how strong he was, how big and manly and perfect and Lan WangJi put all his energy into resisting the urge to murder the man.

The man gathered his clothes and said something about coming back the next week as he stumbled towards the door. Wei Ying said he’d look forward to it, that the man was a skilled lover, that he’d be thinking about the man all week as he touched himself.

The man left.

Silence fell for a second. Then there was a shifting as Wei Ying adjusted himself on the bed.

“Second Young Master Lan?”

“Yes,” Lan WangJi said, forcing his hands to loosen their grip.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to you have to listen to that but he arrived and the mistress here wouldn’t let me turn him away.”

“It’s fine,” Lan WangJi said. It wasn’t, he doubted anything was ever going to be fine again, but it was bearable. Wei WuXian stood and, a second later, his head appeared around the screen. He’d pulled a robe around himself thought it was sliding down, revealing a bruise on his neck. Lan WangJi wanted to press his fingers into the bruise, to wipe it out and replace it with his own marks.

“How’s the pain in your leg?” Wei Ying asked, coming to kneel beside him. “I have some medicine and things to make a splint. I didn’t want to wake you, though. It seemed like you needed the rest.”

“Thank you,” Lan WangJi said, forcing himself to sit up. “I am in your debt.”

Wei Ying waved his hand dismissively. “Never mind that. I was hardly going to leave you out in the street with all these Wen cultivators about, was I? You do know that they’re all looking for you.”

“I suspected.”

“There have been posters with your face on all around town for weeks, that must have known you were heading this way. It’s crazy that you haven’t been recognised though I guess it helps that you’re not wearing the forehead ribbon. I might not have even recognised you if I hadn’t seen you before, after all. Here, let me see your leg again.”

Lan WangJi nodded, shifting so his leg was visible and letting Wei Ying assess it. “Have you splinted a leg before?”

“A few times,” Wei Ying said, nodding. “The mistress here doesn’t like paying for a doctor and it’s not impossible to learn to do things for ourselves, after all. Let me fetch the splint.”

Lan WangJi nodded, trying very hard not to think of why a prostitute might have had cause to reset two bones in what could only have been a year. Wei Ying made good on his word and was professional in his touch as he applied the splint, wrapping Lan WangJi’s leg carefully and firmly. Lan WangJi could have tolerated it if Wei Ying were a little less professional, if he’d allowed his touch to linger just a little more.

“There,” Wei Ying said, examining his work. “That should heal better. Let me make up the medicinal herbs for you.”

“Thank you,” Lan WangJi said, gratified by the small, pleased look on Wei Ying’s face. Wei Ying went to retrieve a pouch, coming back with it and digging out a bowl from the mess of his possessions to tip it into.

Then someone knocked on the door.

“Big Brother,” someone called, someone young with a soft voice. “Are you alone.”

“Yes,” Wei Ying said, making eye contact with Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi nodded, moving back closer to the wall so he was well hidden by the screen.

“Mistress sent me up with hot water and tea.”

“Thank you, A-Bing. Bring it in.”

He moved away from the screen, settling at the table as the door slid open. Lan WangJi listened to the steps of what could only have been a young girl entered and a tray was set carefully on the table. “Let me go fetch your water, Big Brother.”

“Of course, A-Bing,” Wei Ying said, and then he sat there in silence until she returned, setting down what sounded like a large basin.

“Here you go, Big Brother,” she said. Her robes rustled as she sat herself down at the table. “Have you heard the news? Everyone’s talking about Young Master Wen today.”

Wei Ying snorted. “Aren’t they always. All the girls here seem to think he might pick them to fall in love with next. I don’t know how they think it will help, he never keeps a woman more than six months.”

“Maybe they hope to get a son,” A-Bing said. “Surely he’d keep them if he got a son.”

“Ah, A-Bing. You’re so young. Is there any particular reason all the girls are talking about him today, though?”

“They say he’s in town. I heard from the old Grandma at the market, the one who sells the steamed buns with the lotus paste, that Second Young Master Lan was seen in town this afternoon. We all know how crazy Young Master Wen is about finding him. Everyone’s saying he rushed right here when he heard, or that he’s on his way and he’ll be here soon.”

“A-Bing, you shouldn’t listen to gossip like that,” Wei Yuan chided. “Young Master Wen’s an important man, do you think he’s going to drop everything and come here just because an old lady at the market thought she saw Second Young Master Lan?”

“He might,” A-Bing said, the sulking evident in her voice. “And Second Young Master Lan might have been here. You don’t know. I would like to see him. Everyone says he’s as beautiful as jade.”

Wei Ying hummed in agreement. “You know, when I was in Koi Tower, he and a bunch of other top level cultivators came to the brothel where I worked once. He was certainly the most beautiful of them all.”

Behind the screen, Lan WengJi’s ears began to burn.

“I’d like to see him once,” A-Bing sighed. “Even if he is a traitor to the glorious Wen clan like they say.”

“A-Bing, sometimes it’s better to set your expectations to something more reasonable. Like, right now, you should be getting back down to the kitchen or you can be expecting a beating.”

A-Bing sighed, but Lan WangJi heard her stand again. There were a few more quick goodbyes and the door closing and then Wei Ying, appearing around the privacy screen again, this time with a cup of tea in his hands.

“Here,” he said, passing it to Lan WangJi. “Hold this. Let me put the medicinal herbs in. The tea might hide their taste a little.”

Lan WangJi nodded and sat with the cup in his hand while Wei Ying finished grinding the herbs and came over, carefully pushing them into the cup. He drank the tea quickly. It didn’t really hide the taste of the herbs but he’d drunk worse things.

“Thank you,” he said, offering the cup back to Wei Ying. “I should go.”

“Are you insane?” Wei Ying said, reaching out to grab his arm. “You can’t go. Didn’t you hear A-Bing, Young Master Wen is on his way here.”

Wei Ying’s grip on Lan WangJi’s arm was sure and steady. Lan WangJi hated being touched. He should have pushed Wei Ying away, told him to maintain his distance as was proper. Instead, he found himself leaning into the touch.

“You told A-Bing it was just a rumour.”

“Well, yes. It doesn’t do to let her think you take her too seriously, it goes to her head. But she’s right more often than she’s wrong and, from what people say, Young Master Wen’s really serious about finding you. If you try to run, he’s definitely going to catch you.”

“He’s mad that I escaped,” Lan WangJi said.

“And that your brother and uncle both seem to have slipped away,” Wei Ying agreed. “It’s not safe for you to go.”

Lan WangJi gave himself a second to absorb that news, his brother and uncle had slipped away. It was only gossip, of course, but it was the most he’d heard in weeks and them not having been caught already was more than he could have hoped for. “It’s not safe for you if I stay,” Lan WangJi said. Wei Ying waved his hand dismissively.

“It’s never safe for me. People like me don’t get safe lives, Second Young Master Lan. Besides, I like you. You’re a good man. I’ve never met Young Master Wen but I’ve heard stories, I really don’t think he’s a good man. If I have to pick a side, I know which side I’m going to choose.”

“You don’t have to be part of this.”

“Maybe not,” Wei Ying agreed. “But I’m choosing to be anyway. Just until your leg’s healed, okay? I can hide you for that long at least.”

Lan WangJi wanted to argue more, to insist that he should go. It would have been the right thing to do. There was no sense in Wei Ying being endangered just because of him.

And, if he left now, he’d never have to listen to Wei Ying being taken by some other man again.

But, more than he wanted to go, he wanted to stay. Wei Ying was right to say that he needed time to heal. He needed time to rest, too. To think, to plan.

Just a week. He could stay a week.

He nodded.

It was worth it for the way Wei Ying smiled.

*

The first three days passed quietly. Lan WangJi slept often, hidden behind the screen. It was easier than he’d thought it would be. A-Bing was the only servant who entered the room and she showed no interest in going behind the screen. Wei Ying smuggled him food and drink and, when it was quiet, played music for him. Lan WangJi’s fingers ached to join him but that would have been far too much of a risk when their situation was so tenuous.

He wasn’t sure he’d have been able to play anyway, not when his soul was so heavy and he startled awake from his sleep with the image of Cloud Recesses burning.

Things changed on the fourth day.

The majority of the day passed as usual. Lan WangJi rested. Wei Ying alternated fussing over him with playing for him and slipping out of the room to do things that didn’t involve Lan WangJi at all.

As evening set in, the brothel became busier. Wei Ying dressed himself as usual while Lan WangJi hovered awkwardly on the other side of the privacy screen, trying not to think about what Wei Ying might look like, sliding off his normal robes and into the more elaborate ones he wore in the evening, brushing out his hair, applying a hint of makeup.

Wei Ying almost seemed a little ashamed for Lan WangJi to see him like this, which made the situation worse. They shuffled around each other awkwardly, Lan WangJi wincing every time he put weight onto his bad leg. His leg was certainly better than it had been, but it took time for even the best medicinal herbs to work.

Then Wei Ying went to work and Lan WangJi settled down to meditate.

As a child, he’d never struggled to meditate as some did. He’d always had a clear and logical mind and he had been gifted with much more patience that most of his peers. Now, though, the mental peace that had always come so easily eluded him. His mind would drift to his home, wondering if it even still stood. He imagined the house where his mother had lived burned to the ground. He worried for his brother, lost in some unknown place, his uncle gravely ill.

He thought about Wei Ying.

He was just beginning to have some success in focusing on his breath when the door burst open. He froze, listening, and Wei Ying scrambled around the screen.

“Second Young Master Lan,” he said, his eyes a little wide. “Listen, a client is here, I’m going to have to see him. The mistress won’t let me turn him away.”

Lan WangJi nodded. This had happened the previous night and, though it had been a slow form of torture, he’d contained himself. He didn’t know why Wei Ying was suddenly so panicked.

“Whatever you hear, you can’t come out, okay? This client, he likes to hurt me.”

To hurt him? Who on earth would like to hurt him?

The shock must have shown on his face because Wei Ying’s expression grew more intense. “He likes me to fight him, Second Young Master Lan. And he’s rough. But whatever happens, you can’t do anything. It’ll be okay, he’s done this before. I get a rest day or two after he’s visited and he pays very well, but you can’t do anything. If you do, if anyone knows you’re here… Young Master Wen is in the city.”

“Wen Chao is here?” Lan WangJi asked, eyes widening. Wei Ying nodded.

“I didn’t say before, I didn’t want to worry you, but he’s here. You can’t fight yet, you can’t run. If he finds you… well, we can’t let him find you. So even if I shout and scream, you can’t do anything to help me, okay?”

“Wei Ying,” he found himself saying, reaching out to touch the other man’s arm.

“I know,” Wei Ying said, nodding. “I wish there was somewhere else you could go, but there’s no time. Just be good, okay. Be quiet. I’ll be okay. I’m always okay.”

“If it’s too much—”

“It won’t be. I promise. But, look, if it is, I’ll call you, okay? Don’t try to help me unless I call you.”

That was hardly satisfactory, but Wei Ying was right, there was no way around it. He nodded. Wei Ying nodded back, then ran out of the room again, leaving Lan Wangji with his thoughts.

He didn’t even know what to think. He settled down into a meditation position again, laying his sword nearby.

It wasn’t long before Wei Ying returned.

“Here, Er Gege, come in, come in,” he said, a strange tension in his voice that Lan WangJi wasn’t used to. “Sit, Er Gege, sit. Would you like some tea, some liquor.”

“I’m not here to drink,” the man said, and Lan WangJi hated him right away. His tone was strict, harsh. A man who spoke like that could have no business with Wei Ying, with his easy smile and generosity. “You know what I want, strip and get on the bed.”

“Of course,” Wei Ying said. His outer robes hit the floor. “Anything Er Gege wants.”

“Stop talking,” the man snapped. “I don’t want you to talk.”

Wei Ying didn’t talk. Lan WangJi tried to focus in on his breathing, making sure it was slow and measured, that his body was loose and relaxed. In Cloud Recesses, it had always been easy to slip so far into meditation that he didn’t even hear the world around him.

On the other side of the screen, the man struck Wei Ying. Wei Ying made a pained little gasp. Lan WangJi’s hand flinched towards his sword.

If his leg wasn’t broken, if discovery wouldn’t mean almost certain death, he would have killed this man already.

“Move,” the man snapped, hitting Wei Ying again. “You’re so useless. Come on, you know how I want you.”

“Yes, Er Gege,” Wei Ying said, tone subdued. Lan WangJi bit his lip. There was shuffling, a few more landed blows, and then Wei Ying gave a low cry which made Lan WangJi’s blood run cold.

This was wrong. All of this was wrong.

It got worse from there.

Lan WangJi lost count of the blows. Wei Ying’s cries became screams and sobs and pleas as the man kept on hurting him. Hitting him. Pushing him down and taking him. Lan WangJi found himself clenching his hands so hard that his nails cut into his palms. His lip bled where he bit it. Only the throbbing pain in his leg kept him centred and stopped him drawing his sword.

What hurt the most was knowing that, for Wei Ying, everything was worse. He only had to listen, it wasn’t his body that the blows were falling on. The desperate gasps of pain weren’t his. It wasn’t his wrists tried to the bed, he was not the one being called vile names, being told he was worthless.

Hot tears began to roll down Lan WangJi’s cheeks. Wei Ying wasn’t useless, he was the one who was useless. He hadn’t been able to protect his home. He hadn’t been able to protect his family. He might never see his uncle, his brother, again. He was reduced to hiding like a child as a person who had selflessly shown him kindness suffered. He couldn’t protect anyone.

He wanted to protect Wei Ying.

Finally, with one last grunt, the man finished. He didn’t lie there like some of Wei Ying’s clients did, basking in his own prowess. Instead, he gathered his robes, hurled a last few insults, and with a slam of the door he was gone.

Then, from the bed, quietly, “Second Young Master Lan?”

Lan WangJi was on his feet without conscious thought, moving around the screen and heading for Wei Ying, who was sprawled across the bed. He averted his eyes, moving quickly to where Wei Ying’s hands were tied and freeing them. Then he turned and found a robe, throwing it over Wei Ying who was moving slowly.

“Thank you,” Wei Ying said, voice soft. Lan WangJi felt as though cords of steel were running through his muscles. He wanted to run. He wanted to fight. He wanted to follow the man and kill him so his unworthy hands would never touch Wei Ying again. He wanted to press Wei Ying down into the sheets and bite him all over so that everyone would know Wei Ying was his and none of them would dare hurt him again.

Wei Ying wasn’t his. He had only known Wei Ying for a few days. He was being ridiculous.

He’d just never felt like this before.

“Second Young Master Lan.” There was worry in Wei Ying’s voice. Lan WangJi turned to look at him. “Are you crying?”

He didn’t say anything. What could he say when the evidence was right there on his face? Wei Ying opened his mouth but whatever he was going to say was lost as there were footsteps outside in the hallway. Lan WangJi turned and hurried behind the screen, sinking to the floor again. He needed to regain control. He needed to be calm.

He’d never struggled to be calm before.

On the other side of the screen, a tub was brought in and attendants carried water. The madame arrived and praised Wei Ying, telling his how well he’d endured and how much more the man apparently paid to be able to hurt Wei Ying like that. It seemed like forever before they finally left.

As soon as he was sure they were alone, Lan WangJi was on his feet but Wei Ying was already rounding the corner, a wet cloth in his hands.

“Here, Second Young Master Lan,” he said, lifting the cloth and dabbing at Lan WangJi’s eyes, as though his tears were the thing which needed to be corrected in this situation.

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Wei Ying said, as though he hadn’t been crying out in pain not long ago. “I told you, I’ve seen this man before. I know what he does. I’m just a little sore. I’ll be okay soon.”

Lan WangJi wanted to pull Wei Ying into his arms and hold him so tight, so close, that nothing would be able to hurt him again.

“Care for yourself,” Lan WangJi said, taking Wei Ying’s arm and steering him back around the screen to where the bath was waiting for him. “Wash.”

“I’ll be fine,” Wai Ying said, though he was limping so Lan WangJi suspected he was not even slightly fine. “You should take the first bath, Second Young Master Lan. I know you hate to be unclean.”

Lan WangJi untied the sash of Wei Ying’s robe, He looked away as it slid from Wei Ying’s shoulders, but not so quickly that he didn’t see the bruises beginning to form there. Wei Ying sighed, but then he stepped into the water and Lan WangJi allowed himself a small moment of satisfaction. This, at least, he could do.

There were other things he could do, too. He waited until he was sure Wei Ying was submerged than gathered the food that had been left. He carried it over to the tub and knelt, then selected a piece of lotus root and held it up for Wei Ying.

“Oh, you take it,” Wei Ying said, surprised. “I’m fine.”

“Eat.”

“No, you need it more. You need to heal.”

Lan WangJi let his eyes drift down a little. The water didn’t do much to obscure the bruises blooming over Wei Ying’s chest and hips. He met Wei Ying’s eyes again and the other man blushed. “I’m fine.”

“Eat,” Lan WangJi said, offering the food again.

“I don’t—”

“We’ll share,” Lan WangJi offered as a compromise. “Eat.”

Wei Ying sighed, but he did open his mouth and let Lan WangJi feed him. Lan WangJi didn’t even go back on the bargain, being sure to take a little for himself, though he made sure Wei Ying took the majority. While they ate, Wei Ying talked. He seemed to always talk. It should have annoyed Lan WangJi, used to silence as he was. Instead, he found himself enjoying it. If Wei Ying was talking, he couldn’t be hurting that badly.

Eventually, the food was gone and Lan WangJi left Wei Ying to towel himself dry, retrieving a robe for him to slip into instead. Wei Ying moved slowly, carefully, but the quick glance at his body that Lan WangJi allowed himself didn’t seem to show anything worse than bruising.

He would still pay carefully attention. Sometimes wounds weren’t easy to see on the surface.

“You should go back behind the screen,” Wei Ying said, waving at him. “They’ll come to take the water away soon. I’m not going through all of that for you to get caught at the last minute. Go, hide.”

Lan WangJi did, allowing himself to be herded into a corner and settled down, then Wei Ying disappeared back around the screen and began playing his dizi. Lan WangJi closed his eyes and let himself admire the music. That talent alone should have been enough for Wei Ying he earn a living, he shouldn’t have to sell himself to men who hurt him.

The world was cruel.

A-Bing arrived shortly and took away the dishes, then sent for someone to remove the water. Wei Ying played through it and Lan WangJi finally began to relax.

It was over. For one night at least, it was over.

On the other side of the screen, A-Bing said goodnight. Wei Ying played for a while longer, then stopped and moved to the bed. Lan WangJi let his eyes fall shut and listened as Wei Ying settled on the clean bedding.

And shifted.

And turned.

And, eventually, stood. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, shifting from food to foot, before coming across the room and looking around the screen.

“Second Young Master Lan,” he whispered. “Are you asleep?”

“No,” Lan WangJi said into the darkness. There was a moment’s pause, then quiet footsteps as Wei Ying joined him behind the screen.

“Second Young Master Lan, I know it’s a terrible imposition but can I rest around here with you. It’s just that when I was young, before I began to really make money for the house, I used to always sleep in the servants quarters and I don’t think I’m quite used to sleeping alone yet. Some nights, I just really miss having people with me, you know, and since you’re so close I just thought…”

Lan WangJi reached out into the darkness and found Wei Ying’s hand. He tugged gently, pulling Wei Ying towards where he still sat, back against the wall, leg extended in deference to his injury. Wei Ying knelt and shifted forward, going where Lan WangJi placed him into he was lying, his head pillowed on Lan WangJi’s thigh.

“Second Young Master Lan,” Wei Ying whispered. “Are you sure? You’re not going to be able to sleep like that.”

“Lan WangJi.”

“Lan WangJi?”

“My name. Sleep now.”

He expected more argument, but maybe Wei Ying needed this, the comfort of human touch, as much as Lan WangJi apparently did as he settled, daring to lay a hand on Lan WangJi’s thigh and remaining still until, eventually, he drifted into sleep.

Lan WangJi waited until he was sure Wei Ying was sleeping to reach out and gently stroke his hair. Wei Ying sighed happily.

Lan WangJi didn’t sleep that night.

It was worth it.

#

Wei Ying spent his hard earned day off lying in Lan WangJi’s lap which, now he’d occupied once, he had apparently decided to claim as his own territory. In another time, Lan WangJi would have pushed him away. As it was, it was all he could do not to pull him closer, to refuse to ever let him go.

It was a deeply unnerving feeling. He’d have attributed it entirely to the strangeness of the situation if they hadn’t met before, if he hadn’t remember Wei Ying for years.

A group of girls turns up to talk with Wei Ying for a while, which he seemed to enjoy. He teased and flirted with them and Lan WangJi tried to meditate and not to feed the burning pit of jealousy inside himself. None of the girls were serious, they were all obsessed with Wen Chao and the path he might give them out of the brothel, if only they could provide a son.

Wei Ying seemed disinterested but, then, he couldn’t provide a son.

Lan WangJi found himself wondering what Wei Ying dreamed of, the life he imagined for himself. He didn’t dare to ask.

The next day, Wei Ying returned to normal work. Lan WangJi ate, slept, and healed. His spiritual power, drained as he’d run and hid, was almost fully recovered and he was finally able to channel some of it into mending his leg, though not as much as he’d like. Wei Ying entertained two clients. Both of them seemed to be gentleman, enamoured with Wei Ying’s wit and charm. Lan WangJi still wanted to kill them, but he would make their deaths short and painless.

The next day, the Wen contingent arrived at the brothel.

Lan WanJi was pulled from his meditation by Wei Ying’s voice, a little too high and sharp. “Here it is, Wen Er-Gege. My room.”

His hand went to his sword.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion,” a soft male voice said. “It won’t take me long to check, I… I won’t bother you more than is necessary.”

Lan WangJi shifted to a crouch. If he attacked now he’d have the advantage but his crime, Wei Ying’s crime in hiding him, would be impossible to conceal. His leg was already protesting the position, how far could he really run? How would he be able to bring Wei Ying with him, to keep Wei Ying safe?

“Ah, it’s no trouble at all,” Wei Ying said, his tone the same as that he used for a client. “Won’t you sit down, Er Gege, and let this humble one pour you a drink. We’re all so impressed here with the Wen clan, surely you will honour this feeble man.”

“I… I suppose so…” the Wen said. Lan WangJi was sure he recognised the voice but he couldn’t quite place it. “Young Master Wen doesn’t want us to waste time, though. He’s really very mad.”

“Oh?” Wei Ying said. Lan WangJi heard him moving across the room to retrieve the liquor he stored in a cabinet. “Surely there’s nothing in the world that could be troubling to Young Master Wen?”

“It’s Second Young Master Lan,” the Wen said, apparently glumly. “Wen Chao’s convinced he’s here in Shangoju.”

“In Shangoju!” Wei Ying exclaimed, managing to sound genuinely distressed by the fact. “Why would he think such a thing?”

“Someone saw him here. Of course, Second Young Master Lan is far too clever to stay in one place for too long so I wouldn’t worry.”

“I won’t worry,” Wei Ying promised. There was a clanking as he set out cups and poured liquor. “How could I be worried with you here to protect us, Wen Er Gege?”

“I’m not sure how much use I can be,” the Wen said, sorrow creeping into his voice. “It seems like nothing I do can please anyone.”

“Oh, Er Gege,” Wei Ying cried. “Surely that can’t be true. You have such a strong, beautiful face, Er Gege, and such a kind temperament. You’re speaking to me so softly, Er Gege, though I am truly but the lowest of the low. Surely you are, indeed, a great man.”

“I’m...I’m not important,” the Wen stuttered. “You don’t need to flatter me.”

“But Er Gege blushes so when he’s flattered, it’s very becoming. Er Gege, would you like a kiss?”

“A kiss?” the Wen asked, apparently startled. Lan WangJi’s hand tightened on his sword.

“Yes. I like you so much, Er Gege, I’d like to gift you with a little kiss. Would Er Gege like that?”

“I… I’ve never been kissed…” the Wen said, softly. Lan WangJi wanted to grind his teeth. He wanted to run this man through, to tell him that all of Wei Ying’s kisses were Lan WangJi’s, that none of them were to be wasted on Wen lips.

“Would you like it, Er Gege?”

The Wen must have nodded because the next thing Lan WangJi heard was a kiss, a sound he was becoming uncomfortably familiar with. He could imagine it. Wei Ying would be cupping the man’s face, holding him steady. Wei Ying would be smiling a little, pleased at his own cleverness in preventing the search that would have exposed Lan WangJi. Wei Ying’s lips would be soft. He would be careful with this Wen’s first kiss.

“Wen Ning! Hurry up.”

Wen Ning, of course. Lan WangJi hadn’t seen him since that summer in Koi Tower.

The voice apparently enough to break Wei Ying and Wen Ning, apart. There was a clatter as Wen Ning climbed to his feet.

“Coming, Young Master Wen,” he shouted, hurrying out. Wei Ying followed after, being sure to shut the door.

Lan WangJi stayed froze, sword in his hand, ready to fight. Wei Ying had derailed them for now but there was no guarantee that a more competent guard might not come back. He stayed crouched there, ready for action, until the door clattered open again and Wei Ying’s familiar steps came in.

“Lan WangJi,” he said, rounding the screen. His eyes were wide and he looked pale, worried. “That was close.”

Lan WangJi nodded. His eyes gravitated to Wei Ying’s lips. He imagined he could see the kiss lingering there, marking him. He wanted to kiss Wei Ying. He wanted the only lips Wei Ying could remember to be his.

“They’re gone now,” he said, reaching out to grip Lan WangJi’s shoulder. “But we need a plan for if they come back.”

“I should go.”

“What, no,” Wei Ying said, tightening his hold. “You’re not well enough yet, they’ll catch you for sure.”

“I’m not weak,” Lan WangJi said. “They can’t find me here. They’ll kill you.”

Wei Ying looked surprised at that, as though he hadn’t considered that he might be hurt by keeping Lan WangJi here, then dismissed the thought with a wave. “I’ll be fine, Lan WangJi. As you’ve just seen, I can talk my way out of anything. But we need a way for you to hide if they come back.”

“I should go.”

“Here,” Lan WangJi said, ignoring him and breezing over to a chest. “I know it’ll be horrible but I think there’s space for you to crouch inside, if it’s just for a while.”

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying stopped, then turned to him slowly. He looked deadly serious, the expression unfamiliar on his face.

“Lan WangJi. Please, let me protect you. If Wen Chao finds you, he will kill you. I know you’ve improved but you’re still walking with a limp. Tell me your leg isn’t aching from kneeling there, waiting to attack?”

Silence hung heavily between them. For what was perhaps the first time, Lan WangJi really wished he could lie.

“I know that protecting you is a risk, but it’s my risk. My choice. My life is risky, Lan WangJi. I’m an orphan. I lived alone in the streets for years before a madame gave me a job running errands and fetching and carrying. I’ve had to move cities twice because men had become enamoured with me and hated me for it. The one who drove me out of Carp Tower, he insisted I’d used dark tricks to somehow make him fall in love with me. I didn’t even like him, I just flattered him because it’s my job, but people started talking and it looked bad for the house so the mistress sent me away. I had to leave quickly with only the clothes on my back. I was lucky to make it here, to find a new brothel to work from.

“Let me do this, please. Let me help you.”

None of the things that Lan WangJi wanted to say to that were appropriate so, instead, he moved to open the chest. It was full of bedding and robes and he began pulling them out and piling them on the floor. After a moment, Wei Ying joined him. The area was even more of a mess when they were done, but Lan WangJi found a place to sit anyway, meditating as Wei Ying went back to work.

That night, in the dark, Wei Ying crept around the privacy screen and lay down near to Lan WangJi, curling up and sleeping there with him on the floor.

In his dreams, Lan WangJi pulled Wei Ying close and told him that he was loved, that Lan WangJi would make him a home that he’d never had to leave again, that he’d be cherished and cared for as he should have been. In his dreams, Wei Ying looked up at him, a soft, thankful smile on his face, and offered to give Lan WangJi his first kiss.

In his dreams, Wei Ying’s lips were soft.

In the morning, Wei Ying was gone from his side, having crawled back to his bed some time in the night. He had no home to offer, no safety. It wasn’t his first kiss that Wei Ying had taken.

Still, some day, perhaps, he could bring some of those things to life.

#

The next three weeks passed slowly.

Lan WangJi’s leg healed. It took longer than he would have liked, but it improved slowly and steadily until he could stand and move around the room without limping.

Wei Ying kept working, which Lan WangJi could deal with. He became familiar with the way Wei Ying talked to clients, the patter he used with them, the way he flattered them with empty words. He told himself that it was good that Wei Ying didn’t speak to him that way but, instead, was genuine.

The first few days after Wei Ying’s outburst had been hard. Lan WangJi had a million questions all fighting to spill from his lips but he didn’t dare to ask them. A part of him didn’t want to know the answers.

Instead, they talked about everything else. Or, more accurately, Wei Ying talked about everything else and Lan WangJi encouraged him. Some days he’d sit there, focusing his energy and listening as Wei Ying sprawled in his lap and talked about nothing and he’d find himself wondering how he came to be drawn to someone like this, someone who seemed so entirely against everything he was.

But then Wei Ying would casually mention buying dumplings for the orphans in the market or talk compassionately about the women working with him who had been snubbed by a man she’s hope would leave his wife for her or he’d turn up with a bruise after fighting off a man who wouldn’t hear no from a young girl on the street and Lan WangJi knew why.

Lan WangJi even attained a strange kind of peace when it came to Wei Ying and his clients. He didn’t like it, he suspected he would never like it, but the man who had beat Wei Ying didn’t come back. The ones who did come, Wei Ying had a way of talking to them. He played games with his words, flattering them and cajoling and calling himself worthless, flirting and uttering the most meaningless phrases until they fell into his bed.

He never spoke to Lan WangJi like that. He spoke to Lan WangJi as though he was special, important. Not a client to be managed but a person.

He could hear Wei Ying with his clients knowing they meant nothing to him, they weren’t what Lan WangJi was to him.

Expect Wen Ning.

#

“Wen Ning,” Lan WangJi said. Somewhere in the last few weeks, as Wen Ning had carried on visiting, Wei Ying had stopped simpering and calling Wen Ning ‘Er-Gege’. Lan WangJi hated it. “Are you sure you just want to kiss? You know you’re paying for more than kissing, right?”

“I know,” Wen Ning said. “I wouldn’t want to impose myself, though.”

“Impose yourself,” Wei Ying scoffed. “You’re far too polite a boy to ever impose yourself. Your family must be very proud to have raised such a kind and courteous son.”

“My sister is,” Wen Ning said, sadness in his tone. “We’re the only ones left.”

Wei Ying made a disappointed noise and then there was more kissing, as though Wei Ying was trying to kiss the sadness from Wen Ning’s lips. Lan WangJi felt like a child who wanted to crawl around the screen and tug on Wei Ying’s sleeve. He wanted to say me too, I’ve been hurt, I’ve lost. I am hurting. Be here for me, with me. Press yourself against me and steal my sadness, not his. Be mine.

“Come on, Wen Ning, let’s at least lie down,” Wei Ying said, and there was a rustle of clothes and they moved to the bed, then more kissing, more gentle sighs, more rustling of clothes.

Lan WangJi clasped his hands in his robes. It was better than grabbing his sword, that only seemed to make him angrier. He couldn’t kill Wen Ning. Even if he could do it and escape from here to safety with Wei Ying he still couldn’t do it. Wei Ying liked Wen Ning. Wei Ying would never forgive him.

“You can touch me, you now,” Wei Ying said. “I won’t stop you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Wen Ning says, which makes Wei Ying laugh a beautiful, perfect laugh. The kind of laugh that Lan WangJi would love to be able to wring from him.

“You won’t, I promise. And I’ll tell you if you do, okay?”

“If you’re sure,” Wen Ning said. They kissed again, fabric rustled.

It wasn’t hard to imagine himself there. He closed his eyes and banished Wen Ning from the scene in his head. He placed himself in the bed, his borrowed robes rumpled, his lips stained with Wei Ying’s kisses. He imagined trailing his hand over Wei Ying’s hips, up Wei Ying’s spine.

Wei Ying would kiss him over and over and over. He wouldn’t be able to stop, he’d be as intoxicated by the kisses as Lan WangJi. Wei Ying’s fingers would grab at him, greedy for skin. He’d tear away pieces of clothing, desperate for touch, and Lan WangJi would let him.

“You can do whatever you want,” Wei Ying whispered. “What do you want?”

Everything. Anything. He wanted things he had no words to name, things he hadn’t even begun to imagine yet. He wanted Wei Ying in his arms forever. He wanted to claim him, to mark him, to make him so completely Lan WangJi’s that nobody else would ever dare to touch him again.

Wei Ying moaned against him and Lan WangJi moved down to bite at the tender flesh of his neck. He spread Wei Ying’s robes so he could see him and slid his hands down Wei Ying’s chest, across his stomach, right down until he was holding Wei Ying in his hand. Wei Ying sobbed, desperate for him. He thrust into Lan WangJi’s grip but Lan WangJi held him down, kept him there.

He wanted this to last. He wanted it to last forever.

“It’s okay that you haven’t done this before,” Wei Ying whispered, breath hot on Lan WangJi’s skin. “I’ll show you. It’ll be okay.”

He stroke Wei Ying, gently, almost not touching at all and Wei Ying’s legs fell open, desperate and needy. Lan WangJi smiled as he let go to slide his hand down between Wei Ying’s legs. Wei Ying groaned and arched up to meet him. His fingers came down to tangle with Lan WangJi’s, covered in slick, and together they slid inside of him. Wei Ying moaned, low and needs and Lawn WangJi kissed him and kissed, thrusting into him.

“I need you,” Wei Ying moaned, and Lan WangJi couldn’t hold himself back any more. He slid from his robes and climbed between Wei Ying’s legs, spreading him wide. There was more slick and he slid in easily, Wei Ying gasping below him, needy and desperate and Lan WangJi couldn’t control himself. He could only thrust helplessly, lost in Wei Ying’s body.

Wei Ying moaned as he came.

Wen Ning moaned as he came.

Lan WangJi came silently, behind the screen, his hand shoved shamefully under his clothing.

#

That night, Wei Ying lay behind the screen with him on a pile of thick winter robes. He had a bruise that Wen Ning had left just under his ear and Lan WangJi couldn’t look away.

“You know,” Wei Ying said, staring up at the ceiling. “Wen Ning’s a good kid. A little shy but his heart’s basically in the right place, yeah? It’s a pity he’s a Wen. If he’d been born into any other family, he’d probably have been given a lot more confidence from his parents.”

“You like him?”

“Sure. I mean, he’s nice. Sweet. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, which is a lot coming from his family. And it seems like he’ll be a good ally to have if I’m going to stay here. If he stays here. I suppose nothing is certain in this world.”

“What if he leaves and asks you to go with him?”

“Eh?” Wei Ying said, turning to look at him. “That won’t happen. He’s sweet, but he’s not besotted with me like some guys get. I think he just likes coming around because I’m nice to him. Honestly, he makes me feel guilty. He spends all this money to be here then mostly just wants to talk and let me make him tea.”

“You wouldn’t go?”

“I mean, I might I guess. It’d be nice to have a break from this work and Wen Ning would probably be an easy person to keep happy. I don’t think it’d last for long, though. I mean, I don’t love him, after all. He’s just nice. Why, Lan WangJi? Are you worried about me?”

“Yes,” Lan WangJi said without hesitation. “Always.”

“So sweet.” Wei Ying grinned. “Don’t worry. I’m not like these girls here, I don’t long for someone to come and fall in love with me and take me away. I know that’s not going to happen. I’m just going to carry on working until I’m too old and nobody wants me and then, well. I don’t know, but I’ll work it out. I’ve always worked things out before.”

That wasn’t exactly a satisfying answer. Again, the urge rose up to offer Wei Ying the impossible. To offer a home he didn’t have, protection he couldn’t provide, a safe future when Lan WangJi himself was still in mortal peril.

Before he could formulate any of it, Wei Ying leant in and kissed him quickly on the cheek. He’d never done that before. Lan WangJi’s lips parted in surprise.

“Sleep now, Lan WangJi. It’ll look better in the morning, I promise.”

Then he was gone, on the other side of the screen, into his bed.

#

Soon after that, everything fell apart.

#

The door to the room slammed open and Wei Ying stumbled inside. It sounded as though he was shoved. Lan WangJi’s hand found his sword.

“You worthless whore.” Lan WangJi knew the voice. Wen Chao. He glanced back at the box where he was meant to hide, cowering. His hand tightened on his blade.

“I’m sorry, Young Master Wen,” Wei Ying said, his voice broken by sobs. Lan WangJi hadn’t known it was possible for him to hate Wen Chao more, but that voice broke something inside of him. “I should not have been so careless as to insult you. Please forgive this weak, worthless man.”

“Get on the bed,” Wen Chao snapped. “You, leave. All the rest of you leave.”

There as shuffling of feet and the slamming of the door. Lan WangJi crept to the edge of the screen and looked around. Wei Ying was lying on the bed, face down. Wen Chao stood over him.

“You’re really worthless,” Wen Chao said, then spat right into Wei Ying’s face. “Strip.”

Wei Ying did so, quickly and efficiently, exposing his beautiful body for Wen Chao’s eyes. Lan WangJi wanted to kill him, but if Wen Chao was here the place had to be crawling with his guards. Lan WangJi would never manage to take Wei Ying and escape. He had to control himself. This was no worse than the man who’d hurt Wei Ying before.

Wen Chao shoved Wei Ying onto his back. Wei Ying looked scared. Wen Chao shoved his clothing aside until his cock was out and then, in one brutal motion, yanked Wei Ying’s legs open and pushed into him without any preparation.

Wei Ying cried out in pain, tears springing to his eyes. Wen Chao laughed, then started to thrust. He wasn’t gentle or careful or kind. He seemed to delight in the hurt sounds he pulled from Wei Ying.

Then he closed his hands around Wei Ying’s neck.

Wei Ying thrashed and gasped, he shuddered. Lan WangJi drew his sword. He had to stop. This couldn’t be right. This couldn’t be normal.

Wei Ying’s lips parted.

“Lan WangJi.”

So thin, so quiet, it was hardly there. His name.

He stepped fully around the screen.

Wen Chao didn’t even have time to react. Lan WangJi’s sword found his throat and then yanked him back, pushing him arms away and dumping him on the floor to die gasping.

Wei Ying gasped too, precious air throwing into his lungs, and he reached for Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi let himself reach back. He let himself gather Wei Ying into his arms. He let himself hold Wei Ying just as close, just as tight, as he wanted to. As he’d always wanted to.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying sobbed, and Lan WangJi’s heart broke.

“I’m here. I’m sorry. I should have stopped him earlier.”

“My fault,” Wei Ying said, his voice was so rough. Lan WangJi wished he could bring Wen Chao back to kill him again. “I snubbed him in the hall. I knew he was watching me, he waved me over, but I ignored him to flirt with other men. I didn’t want him. I’m sorry. I should have gone. I should have flattered him. He’d probably have lost interest then. He’d probably not have come here. I’m sorry.”

Lan WangJi pulled back far enough to touch Wei Ying’s face. It was puffy and red from the crying. Ruined. He leant in anyway to kiss Wei Ying gently on the lips.

Wei Ying sighed beneath him, relaxing into it. His eyes drifted shut. He tasted of tears.

Lan WangJi wanted to kiss him forever.

He made himself pull back.

“We have to go,” he said. “Get dressed.”

“What?” Wei Ying blinked at him. “Go?”

“The guards will come soon.”

“Lan Zhan, Lan WangJi, I can’t go.”

“I’ll take you with me,” Lan WangJi said, as though it was that simple. He’d make it that simple.

“I’ll slow you down,” Wei Ying said, which was true. “You need to go now, quickly. They’ll be sending up the alarm soon. You need to be out of the city before that happens. You can’t take me.”

“I can.”

“You can’t,” Wei Ying hissed. “You need to live. I want… Don’t think this is because I don’t want to go with you. If I could, I would, but I won’t have you die because you wouldn’t leave me behind.”

“I won’t.”

“Lan WangJi, listen to me. You need to go now. The entire city of crawling with Wen guards. Every city between here and safety will be too. Even if we got out of the city, we’d still be found. I can’t travel like you can, I can put aside hunger and tiredness and push on. You need to go without me.”

“I can’t.”

“You can,” Wei Ying said, then leant in to kiss him again. There was nothing chaste about this kiss, it was deep and demanding and, if Wei Ying thought it was going to convince Lan WangJi to go, he was very wrong. Instead he pressed into it, pulling Wei Ying closer, trying to wipe out Wen Chao’s touch with his hands.

He couldn’t leave Wei Ying here. Wei Ying needed him. He needed Wei Ying.

Wei Ying pulled back from the kiss. “Go,” he said, tears shining in his eyes. “Please, go. If you die… Please, just go, Lan WangJi. Second Young Master Lan.”

“I can’t.”

There were steps outside. They froze, wrapped in each other’s arms, Wen Chao dead on the floor in front of them.

Wei Ying was right, they didn’t have much time.

Wei Ying would slow him down.

“Will you be safe?”

“I will,” Wei Ying promised. “I’ll go to Wen Ning, he’ll protect me. He likes me, after all. I’ve always been good to him. I’ll tell the guards a story, I’ll slow them down. But you need to go, Lan WangJi. Please. Please go.”

He didn’t want to. Every part of his soul was screaming for him not to.

He forced himself to step back.

“I’ll come back for you,” he said. “As soon as I can. I’ll come for you.”

“Okay,” Wei Ying agreed, nodding. “Yes, please. Come back for me. But now, run. Neither of us will be safe if you don’t run.”

Lan WangJi kissed him again, one more time, because he couldn’t help it. Because he needed the feel of Wei Ying’s lips on his more than he’d ever needed anything else before.

Then he ran.

#

It was three years before he saw Wei Ying again.

#

A young child was crying in the street.

Lan WangJi stopped nearby and watched it. It’s eyes were scanning the crowd, searching, as thick tears rolled over its cheeks. People moved around it, carefully averting their eyes. It was likely that none of them wanted to have responsibility for the child thrust upon them.

Once it was clear that nobody was coming, Lan WangJi moved over to the child and knelt down. It seemed to be a boy, dressed in plain clothing, his eyes red with tears.

“Can I help you?” Lan WangJi asked. The child looked up at him.

“Big Brother. I can’t find Big Brother.”

“I will help you,” he said, reaching out to take the child’s hand. In an apparent fit of gratefulness, the child flung itself forward, little arms wrapping around his neck, a damp face pressing into his robes.

“I’m scared,” the child said, clinging tightly. Lan WangJi held the child and stood slowly.

“It’s okay. We’ll find your brother. What’s your name?”

“A-Yuan,” the baby sniffed. “We were shopping and I let go of his hand. He told me not to.”

Tears started falling again and Lan WangJi bounced the baby on his hip. It was easily done in a busy market place. The child had probably been distracted for only a moment and the crowd could have moved him away from the person who was meant to protect him.

“My name is Lan WangJi,” he said, holding the baby close. “Can you remember when you last saw your brother? What were you doing?”

“Buying dinner,” A-Yuan said, looking up and down the street. Lan WangJi nodded and turned them towards the area where he’d seen food stalls earlier. “Big Brother was buying me steam buns because I was very good.” Lan WangJi made a small noise of agreement, as he was sure A-Yuan was a good child. “Now he’ll be mad that I let go. I didn’t mean to let go.”

Lan WangJi meant to comfort the child, but before he could he caught a frenzied voice through the crowd.

“A-Yuan.”

A hauntingly familiar voice.

He turned.

Wei Ying was pushing his way through the crowd, wide eyes, scanning for the child and yelling. In Lan WangJi’s arms, A-Yuan perked up. “Big Brother,” he yelled.

Wei Ying finally noticed them.

For a second he froze, shock and surprise written on his face, then he beamed, shoving through the crowd towards them.

“A-Yuan!” he shouted, and Lan WangJi’s heart raced. Wei Ying. After all this time, after all these years of searching, Wei Ying.

And then Wei Ying was there, snatching a delighted A-Yuan out of Lan WangJi’s arms and holding him tight. “Don’t you run off again, A-Yuan. Didn’t I tell you to hold Big Brother’s hand when we’re in the market. It’s too busy for you to wander away alone.”

“I’m sorry,” A-Yuan said, pressing a kiss to Wei Ying’s cheek.

His painted cheek. Because Wei Ying was wearing makeup. Not the touch of rouge on his lips that Lan WangJi had found so appealing when they’d known each other before but a full face of white powder with red around his eyes. He was still beautiful of course, it was simple different.

“Ah, be careful,” Wei Ying said, reaching up to wipe at A-Yuan’s face to remove the powder than transferred. Then he spun to face Lan WangJi. “HanGuang-Jun, thank you for returning this child to this humble one.”

“Wei Ying.” Wei Ying glanced down, as though he hadn’t expected Lan WangJi to remember his name.

“Thank you. We won’t take any more of your time. You’re an important man, I’m sure you have cultivation matters to attend to.”

He did, he was on his way to a night hunt, a local town had a problem with a fierce corpse. If he delayed, lives may be lost.

Something about the way Wei Ying was refusing to meet his eyes made him quite certain that, if he left, Wei Ying would not be here when he returned. And then he might have to search for another three years to find him again.

“Have lunch with me,” he said. Wei Ying seemed surprised.

“We wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Please.”

Wei Ying finally met his eyes. They stood there for a moment, frozen in the middle of the road. He wanted to push forward, to pull Wei Ying into his arms, to never let go. He wanted to kiss him, to pick up at that moment all those years ago, Wen Chao dead, fate pulling them apart.

A-Yuan’s stomach rumbled.

Wei Ying sighed.

“Lunch,” he said, nodding. “I suppose there’s no harm in lunch.”

“Thank you.”

Lan WangJi let Wei Ying lead him back through the market. He kept A-Yuan in his arms until the child started to squirm and then, with a sigh, set him down and grabbed his hand.

“Stay close this time,” he said. “Someone mean might find you if you get lost again.” A-Yuan nodded and walked along quietly at Wei Ying’s side. Lan WangJi took a moment to look the two of them over. Wei Ying had lost weight. He’d always been slim, his body not honed into a tool by cultivation, but now it seemed unhealthy. He was pale, too. Lan WangJi could see his skin where the makeup ended at the base of his neck.

He did not look at though the years had been kind to him.

A-Yuan looked healthy, at least, which Lan WangJi guessed might be the cause of Wei Ying’s relative loss of weight. The child was, perhaps, four or five. That meant that he was unlikely to be Wei Ying’s biological child or it meant, at least, that Wei Ying hadn’t heard of him when Lan WangJi knew him last.

Which begged the question of where he came from. He’d called Wei Ying big brother. Wei Ying had no family, he’d been abandoned on the streets. Was he the child of a friend, maybe? One of the girls at the brothel, and Wei Ying was taking care of him?

“Ah, Big Brother,” A-Yuan said, snapping Lan WangJi out of his contemplation, his face alight. “Look.”

“Oh, the young master has a good eye.”

A street seller with children’s toys was grinning at A-Yuan. He leant in closer, offering a paper butterfly that A-Yuan stroked with soft, careful fingers. He laughed in delight. Lan WangJi glanced up to catch a grimace cross Wei Ying’s face. His eyes fell to Wei Ying’s too thin wrists, bone showing uncomfortably where he held on to A-Yuan.

“What do you think, young master?” the salesman was saying, dangling the toy in front of A-Yuan. “Will you treat this good child?”

“A-Yuan,” Wei Ying said, tugging gently. “Come on.”

“Big Brother,” A-Yuan said, little hand grasping, eyes widening. Lan WangJi’s hand went to his purse.

“Would you like it, A-Yuan?” he asked, stepping forward. A-Yuan nodded enthusiastically. Lan WangJi reached forward and took the butterfly from the salesman, then knelt and placed it in A-Yuan’s hand. A-Yuan smiled, brushing his finger along the fine paper wings.

Lan WangJi paid the trader.

When he looked up again, the expression on Wei Ying’s face was complicated.

“Thank you, HanGuang-Jun. You’re too kind. A-Yuan, say thank you.”

“Thank you,” A-Yuan said, beaming. Lwn WangJi nodded, then stood and met Wei Ying’s eye.

“Lan WangJi. Not HanGuang-Jun.”

“So informal,” Wei Ying said, to which Lan WangJi could only raise an eyebrow. He’d have liked to be less formal. He’d have liked for Wei Ying to call him Lan Zhan, or maybe even something more shameless than that. But Wei Ying was clearly making space between them and Lan WangJi wouldn’t force him.

The inn wasn’t much further and the took one look at Lan WangJi and was quick to accommodate them. They ordered some dishes, Lan WangJi was sure to order more than he could eat with the intention of feeding some to Wei Ying. Wei Ying ordered only a small amount, much of it spicy, and something simple for A-Yuan who was still entranced with the paper butterfly.

And Wei Ying talked.

It was easy talk, the kind that filled the air with meaningless words. With anyone else, Lan WangJi would have hated this and tried to direct the conversation to more meaningful topics. With Wei Ying, he simply let the cadence of the words flow over him. Wei Ying talked about a dish he’d eaten once that he really liked and some gossip that was going around the brothel where he worked about two people Lan WangJi didn’t know then a few cute anecdotes about A-Yuan.

He did splutter and blush a little when Lan WangJi began moving his own food to Wei Ying’s plate, and they had a silent war for a few moment where a piece of lotus root was passed back and forth, until Wei Ying finally gave in and allowed himself to be fed.

A-Yuan finished his own meal and then began playing around them, and Lan WangJi couldn’t help but notice how Wei Ying’s eyes tracked the child, making sure he stayed close and safe.

And then, unexpectedly, A-Yuan turned and deposited himself on Lan WangJi’s lap.

“Ah, A-Yuan,” Wei Ying said, reaching across the table. “Don’t bother that big brother.”

“It’s fine,” Lan WangJi said, smiling down at A-Yuan who beamed back at him. “He can sit.”

“You shouldn’t indulge him, he’s going to get spoiled,” Wei Ying said, though he did let his hand drop. “Though, speaking of being spoiled, thank you for the food, HanGuang-Jun. This humble one hasn’t eaten so well in a long time.”

“It’s fine,” Lan WangJi said, fighting the urge to correct Wei Ying about his name again. Wei Ying would come to it again in time.

“Well, thank you anyway,” Wei Ying said. “You’ve been very kind. A-Yuan and I are going to have to leave soon, though, I’m afraid. I have a job to do after all, as HanGuang-Jun knows.”

Lan WangJi nodded. He’d anticipated this. His heart wanted to pull Wei Ying close, to confess love, to ask for marriage. He could already see that kind of declaration would be poorly received. He had taken too long, that was clear, though he’d searched. He would have to re-build trust.

He remembered the soft smiles Wei Ying would give him, the tinkle of his surprised, genuine laugh, the softness of his lips. It would be worth it.

Though, of course, he had a job to do first too.

“I understand. I must complete my night hunt. When that’s done, I will return. Will Wei Ying be here?”

“You’re going to come back?” Wei Ying asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“That seems like a lot of bother to go to just for me, HanGuang-Jun. You don’t need to come back.”

“I’ll come back,” Lan WangJi said. “And if Wei Ying isn’t here, I’ll keep looking.”

Wei Ying laughed, a hurt little thing, but he did risk a look into Lan WangJi’s eyes and he must have liked whatever he saw there because he nodded. “Okay, you come back. I’ll still be here. It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go and there’s A-Yuan to think about.”

Lan WangJi nodded. In his lap, A-Yuan leant over to tangle the paper butterfly into his hair.

#

The fierce corpse was easily dispatched in the end and he was back in the small town where he’d found Wei Ying only a few days later. The town itself, Yiling, was nothing special, though it stood at the edge of the burial mounds, a place Lan WangJi knew to be particularly dangerous.

It was not the ideal place to have a child though that was fine, Lan WangJi would convince Wei Ying to leave here with him soon.

He paid for a room in the inn and then headed to the market. He’d expected to find Wei Ying gone and was preparing himself for an investigation, to find people who knew Wei Ying and establish if any of them knew where he was.

Instead, he ran into Wei Ying almost immediately. Almost as though Wei Ying was waiting for him.

When Wei Ying spotted him, his mouth fell open a little, his eyes widening and the smallest genuine smile curving the corner of his mouth before Wei Ying caught control of his expression and it was carefully neutral again. He was stood haggling with an old woman with dumplings and turned from her immediately, tugging along A-Yuan and heading for Lan WangJi.

A-Yuan was still carrying the butterfly in his hand, and his face lit up when he saw Lan WangJi.

“Rich brother,” he called, darting ahead and tugging at Wei WuXian’s arm. “Look, I still have your butterfly.”

“A-Yuan,” Wei Ying said, only just close enough for Lan WangJi to hear. “I’ve told you not to call him that, it’s rude. Call him HanGuang-Jun.”

“But Rich Brother is rich,” A-Yuan said, finally close enough to grab Lan WangJi’s robes. “Hello, Rich Brother. You came back.”

“I came back,” Lan WangJi agreed. “Wei Ying.”

“HanGuang-Jun.” He bobbed his head a little as he said it, lifting his hand to hide a smile. Perhaps he truly didn’t mind that Lan WangJi had returned for him. Perhaps there was hope for them yet.

“Let me buy you lunch.”

“Yes,” A-Yuan said, hugging his leg.

“I couldn’t possibly allow it,” Wei Ying said at the same time, then he frowned down at A-Yuan. “We have money. We don’t need someone else to buy food for us, A-Yuan.”

“But Rich Brother is rich,” A-Yuan said, as though that was the final say in the matter. Lan WangJi nodded in agreement and reached down to scoop A-Yuan up in his arms.

“Rich Brother is rich. I will pay. Come, let me take you to the inn where I’m staying.”

“I suppose it can’t be helped,” Wei Ying said with a sigh. “If HanGuang-Jun insists on buying lunch then who is this lowly one to complain?”

Lan WangJi wanted to argue with that in some way, to insist that Wei Ying was far from lowly, but he suspected that, if he tried, he’d only somehow end up eating alone. Instead, he led the way to the inn where he was staying, a better class of place than the inn where they’d eaten last time. The owner looked astonished when they arrived, glancing between Lan WangJi with the child in his arms and Wei Ying, his face caked in makeup, his robes loose, so clearly exactly what he was.

He sent them to Lan WangJi’s room where the other clients wouldn’t be able to see them. Lan WangJi didn’t complain.

Wei Ying kept up the talk through the meal, making sure to keep to light topics. Lan WangJi wanted to question him, to ask him how, exactly, he came to have a child. He wanted to know what happened to Wei Ying that night when he’d left. He wanted to know how Wei Ying had ended up here.

He let Wei Ying talk. There would be time.

Once he’d finished his own food, A-Yuan moved himself to Lan WangJi’s side and started to stroke Bichen. Wei Ying almost fell over the table trying to stop him but Lan WangJi simple allowed the child to look, unsheathing the smallest sliver of the blade for A-Yuan to see and not touch. A-Yuan was entranced.

Wei Ying left quickly after the meal was done, saying he didn’t want to waste any more of HanGuang-Jun’s time, though Lan WangJi assured him it was no problem.

Still, he was waiting there in the market the next day.

And so, life settled into a pattern. Lan WangJi woke in the morning and meditated, then trained with his sword. At lunch, he went to the market and found Wei Ying. Wei Ying always looked surprised to see him there, as though each time he expected that, though the night, Lan WangJi would have left him.

Sometimes they walked through the market a little. Lan WangJi ignored Wei Ying’s protests and bought A-Yuan a toy sword and some other small items. Often, they went straight to his room and ate together, Lan WangJi making sure Wei Ying took the larger portion of the food each time.

On the fourth day of their new normal, Wei Ying called him Lan WangJi.

On the seventh day he didn’t leave immediately after eating but stayed, lounging around Lan WangJi’s room and talking to him. That evening, when he was alone again, Lan WangJi took the time to write a letter to his brother, explaining where he was and the barest details about why. After all, if he intended to bring Wei Ying into Cloud Recesses, he was going to need some support.

On the tenth day, when Lan WangJi found Wei Ying in the market, he was carrying his flute. That day, they played so long that A-Yuan fell asleep on Lan WangJi’s bed.

Lan WangJi had imagined the two of them playing together. He’s taken the memory of their meeting out and examined it so many times that he’d grown to believe he’d exaggerated it, that their playing hadn’t been that good, that they hadn’t been so natural in their interpretations of each other, so easy in the way they’d fit together.

He had exaggerated nothing. Wei Ying played beautiful, and it was an honour to play with him.

After that, Wei Ying brought the instrument most days, and every day he seemed to stay later and later.

That way, almost a month slid past.

#

It was half past eight and Lan WangJi was beginning to prepare for bed when someone banged on his door. Frowning, he stood and moved to open it.

It was Wei Ying on the other side. Of course it was Wei Ying. His eyes were wide and his lip red from where he’d been worrying it with his teeth. A-Yuan was hanging on to his hand, blinking around sleepily.

“Ah, Lan WangJi,” Wei Ying said, dropping into a bow. Lan WangJi moved quickly to grab his arms and pull him up. He didn’t need Wei Ying to bow to him. “I’m so sorry to disturb you this late, I just need the smallest of favours. It’s hardly a favour at all, actually. You’ll hardly notice it.”

“Anything,” Lan WangJi said.

“You know, you shouldn’t make promises like that. Some day, someone’s going to take you up on them.”

“Anything,” he said. Wei Ying sighed.

“I just need you to look after A-Yuan tonight. He’s already so tired, he’ll probably sleep right away. Right, A-Yuan?”

A-Yuan looked up uncertainly, tightening his hand around Wei Ying’s. For a second, Wei Ying looked devastated, then he slipped right back into the careful smile he normally wore.

“A-Yuan, don’t you want to have a sleepover with your Rich Big Brother? He’ll probably spoil you rotten. It’ll be much better than hiding in my closet.”

“He hides in your closet?” Lan WangJi hadn’t really thought about where A-Yuan might stay while Wei Ying worked. He’d had some idea that perhaps there was a room in the brothel, maybe he stayed in the kitchen or with the servants.

“It can’t be helped,” Wei Ying said, face betraying no emotion. “I’m sorry, Lan WangJi, we probably shouldn’t have bothered you. We’ll go.”

“No,” he said, reaching out to take Wei Ying’s arm.

It was the first time they’d touched in years.

His arm was thin. Gratifyingly thicker than it would have been a month ago but still so incredibly thin and fragile. Wei Ying was still so small, so worn. Lan WangJi could have picked him up with one hand. He wanted to. He wanted to pull Wei Ying into his room and lock the door and keep him safe from whatever he wanted to protect A-Yuan from.

“He should stay,” he said, looking down at A-Yuan. Wei Ying relaxed.

“Thank you, Lan WangJi. Thank you. I just don’t…”

“You can stay,” he said. Wei Ying’s expression froze. “If there is danger, you can stay here. I’ll protect you.”

“That’s kind of you,” Wei Ying said, softly, as though he meant it. “I’ve got to face my own problems though, right?”

“I would carry your problems, if you let me.”

Wei Ying took a surprised little gasp of breath. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth. Lan WangJi was almost sure he was going to agree, the he shook himself and turned to A-Yuan, gently extracting his hand from the child’s.

“A-Yuan, you stay here with your rich Big Brother, okay?”

“Big brother—“

“I’ll come back in the morning and we’ll have dumplings, okay? But be good.”

A-Yuan nodded and Wei Ying stepped back. Lan WangJi forced himself to go to A-Yuan and scoop him up, holding him close, instead of going to Wei Ying for the same.

He had to respect Wei Ying’s choices. He couldn’t force help on others.

Even if every part of his soul wanted to.

Wei Ying bowed again and was gone.

He looked down at the child in his arms, a child looked up at him uncertainly, his tiny lip wobbling, tears beginning to collect in the corners of his eyes.

“Come,” he said, squeezing A-Yuan. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Then let me play for you. You enjoy listening to my music, yes?”

A-Yuan nodded, settling his head against Lan WangJi’s shoulder.

Lan WangJi smiled.

#

The morning brought the unexpected pleasure of waking up with a small child in his care. He helped A-Yuan to dress in his outer robes and brushed A-Yuan’s hair then allowed A-Yuan to do his hair in turn, resisting the urge to straighten it when the child was done.

They ate breakfast and he couldn’t help but be pleased to see A-Yuan watching him carefully and copying his movements. Perhaps, as he grew older, the child might become interested in cultivation. He could be a good disciple of the Lan sect, perhaps even of the clan. If only Lan WangJi knew where the child came from. Clearly, Wei Ying was his primary caregiver, but where on earth did Wei Ying get a child.

He played his guqin after breakfast, A-Yuan sitting on his lap and watching his fingers on the strings. After a time, he let A-Yuan play, placing his fingers and moving them gently, revelling in the delighted noises A-Yuan made at the sounds he produced.

That was his Wei Ying found them.

“Big Brother!” A-Yuan yelled, scrambling to escape from Lan WangJi’s arms.

“A-Yuan,” Wei Ying cried, dropping to the ground to embrace the child. Lan WangJi carefully put his guqin away then stood, making his way around the table. He reached out, laying his hand on the side of Wei Ying’s face and brushing away powder from the badly covered bruise.

“Ah,” Wei Ying said, pulling back a little. “Don’t touch, it’s sore.”

“What happened?”

“It’s really nothing, and it’s fine now.”

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying sighed, then lifted his hand himself to hide the bruise. “I thought I put on enough makeup to cover it.”

“There is swelling.” Which there was, quite a lot of swelling, though now Lan WangJi couldn’t help but wonder what else Wei Ying was using the makeup to hide.

“Ah. Well, it’s fine now. I just had a little fight last night, that’s all problem. But it’s all taken care of now and everything’s fine.”

“Was it like before, the time you told me not to help you?”

It clearly took a second for Wei Ying to realise what he was talking about and when he did his eyes widened. “No, Lan Zhan. No. Nothing like that, I promise. There aren’t any men who want that kind of thing from me in this town. No, it’s just embarrassing. I don’t want to tell you, you’ll think it’s silly.”

“Nothing about Wei Ying is silly.”

“A lot of things about me are silly,” Wei Ying countered, winking his nose.

“Wei Ying.”

“Fine,” he sighed. He let go of A-Yuan, who looked between them in confusion. “Go play for a minute,” Wei Ying said, retrieving the paper butterfly from his sleeve and pressing it into A-Yuan’s hands. A-Yuan nodded, taking the butterfly and whispering something to it then running to the corner of the room. Lan WangJi couldn’t help but wonder if A-Yuan had any toys other than the ones he himself had bought. He certainly didn’t seem to.

He would have to buy A-Yuan more toys.

“It really is silly,” Wei Ying said, settling down at the table. “You don’t know how it gets in a place like the one I work in. Everyone’s out for their own aims, though they pretend that we’re all working together.”

Lan WangJi snorted, it sounded very much like a meeting of sect leaders, though he doubted Wei Ying would believe him if he made the comparison.

“Who hit you?”

“Let me tell the story,” Wei Ying said, flapping his hand. “See, there’s a certain client who is a big spender, let’s call him Mr. X. He’s from the next town over and he’s married to this woman he hates. His mother arranged the marriage, I think. Either way, he’s always over here looking for other company.

“We used to always go to this one girl, she’s our star. Our beauty.”

“Not as beautiful as Wei Ying.”

He said it quickly, impulsively. He’d thought such things before but never managed to say them.

Wei Ying ducked his head. Lan WangJi liked to believe that, under the thick makeup, he was blushing.

“Well, I mean, the problem was kind of that Mr. X agrees with you. She thought they were going to marry and he was going to leave his wife for her, but then she was ill once night and he noticed me and, well, he started noticing me more and more and coming to the brothel to see me instead of to see her.

“And, I mean, he’s fine. It’s not rough or mean. But our beauty was so insulted by my stealing her man, she’s been being horrible to me for weeks about it. I think that she doesn’t like that I know you, too. I think she thinks I’m leading her lover on. Or maybe that I’m taking up all the good men for myself and leaving nothing for the girls.”

“They know about me?” Lan WangJi couldn’t help but ask.

“Of course. We meet every day in public. The madame thought I was meeting you for, well, you know, until I let her search me a few times and she saw you hadn’t given me any money.”

Lan WangJi felt his ears heat. He’d thought of the implication of bringing Wei Ying here, what people might think. Of course he had. He knew that some of the people here must recognise him, at least as a member of the Lan clan. He’d made no effort to hide who he was. It wouldn’t matter, when he took Wei Ying to cloud recesses then everyone would know anyway.

“Last night?”

“Oh, last night Mr. X came to see me. And things had been getting worse, you know, and he was generous but sometimes you have to put other things over money and I don’t want to lose my job here so I told him I can’t see him any more, that he should go back to beauty since she’s in love with him and that I didn’t want to see him any more.”

“And he hit you?”

“No, he didn’t hit me,” Wei Ying said, blushing a little. “That was beauty.”

“Why?”

“Apparently it’s insulting to be sent business by someone else, as thought I think she can’t win it herself. We used to do that all the time in the last place I worked but here it’s frowned upon. The man left, anyway, and she was mad but the madame took her aside and calmed her down and, well, it’s over now, yes. I just didn’t want A-Yuan to be there in case the man got angry or refused to leave. Normally, where he is, he can’t really hear what’s happening but if we started to yell… I didn’t want to upset him.”

“It’s over now?” Lan WangJi asked, watching Wei Ying’s face carefully. Wei Ying just smiled.

“It must be, right? But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to spend the entire day talking about such gloomy things. Come on, Lan WangJi, come for a walk with us. A-Yuan, you’d like Rich Big Brother to come on a walk with us, right?”

“Yes,” A-Yuan said, scrambling back over now he’s been called and throwing his arms around Wei Ying’s neck. “Let’s walk.”

Lan WangJi gathered up his things. A walk did sound nice. He wondered if, somehow, he might encourage Wei Ying to talk his arm as they walked.

#

He waited in his room until gone midnight before heading out.

Wei Ying thought the problem was over, Lan WangJi knew he should trust him but working so closely with the other sects had taught him that things were rarely resolved in a quick and efficient way when there was potential for a grudge to be held.

He’d never visited the brothel before so had no idea which was Wei Ying’s window. Instead, he found a place to sit on a building across the street and settled in to meditate, hoping he would not be needed.

It was not long before the screaming started.

Lan WangJi quickly leapt to the window it was coming from and stepped inside, easing Bichen an inch out of the scabbard.

The scene in the room was not what he expected.

Wei Ying was stood on a chest, screaming, A-Yuan in his arms sobbing hysterically, a dog nipping at their ankles. A group of women leant against the door, laughing. Clearly this was their work.

And then he met Wei Ying’s eyes, eyes wide with real fear.

“Lan WangJi, help,” Wei Ying yelled, throwing himself across the room, A-Yuan still clutched tightly to his chest, and into Lan WangJi’s arms. Lan WangJi didn’t hesitate, scooping Wei Ying up and holding him close with one arm, just as he’d dreamed of doing the day before, helped by Wei Ying’s legs locking around him.

With his other hand, he held out Bichen, still in the scabbard, and knocked the dog away.

“Lan WangJi,” Wei Ying wailed again, his fingers digging into Lan WangJi’s shoulders hard enough to bruise. “Help me. Please help me.”

“I will,” Lan WangJi said, his eyes on the circling dog.

“Lan WangJi.”

“I’m here,” he said. Wei Ying’s breath was warm on his neck, Lan WangJi squeezed him tight. He didn’t know what, exactly, about this dog was causing such extreme fear but it was clearly real and he would not allow it.

The women in the doorway were still laughing and he shot them a dark look.

“Remove this dog.”

“Can’t you do it yourself?” one asked, pouting. “Such a big, strong man as you.”

The dog barked and lunged. Lan WangJi knocked it away again, A-Yuan’s tiny hands coming to grab around his neck. His tears were already soaking through Lan WangJi’s robes.

He drew his sword.

“Oh, hey,” one of the girls said, stopping giggling long enough to rush into the room and grab the dog. “Don’t be so serious. I borrowed this dog from a very tough man, he’ll be upset if you hurt it.”

“Then remove it.”

“You’ve got no sense of humour,” the girl said, hauling the dog to the door. “I’ll put it out but be careful, A-Ying, this dog’s got your scent now.”

Wei Ying’s arms tightened again and, with one last laugh, the girls left, one of them forcefully sliding the door shut behind them.

Lan WangJi slid his sword back into its scabbard, then dedicated both arms of the task of holding A-Yuan and Wei Ying. A-Yuan let himself be moved to Lan WangJi’s free side and carried on sobbing into his shoulder. Wei Ying was shivering in his arms, hands still gripping tight.

“Is it safe?” he hissed, though he could see for himself that it was.

“It is,” Lan WangJi confirmed.

Wei Ying made no move to let go.

In the quiet of the room, A-Yuan calmed quickly. His sobs dried to sniffles and then he began squirming to be let down. Lan WangJi deposited him on the floor and watched him scramble over to where the toys Lan WangJi had bought him lay. A-Yuan began taking a careful, serious inventory of his possessions.

Wei Ying stayed in Lan WangJi’s arms, still shivering.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice thick with emotion. “I know this is silly. I told you I was silly.”

“Wei Ying isn’t silly,” Lan WangJi insisted, bringing both is arms tight around Wei Ying’s body.

“I should get down.”

“Only when you’re ready.”

Wei Ying leant forward, pressing his face into Lan WangJi’s hair. “Oh, Lan WangJi, you’re too good. Protecting me like this, holding me like this. You can’t act like this. I know you feel gratitude but I’m only a poor prostitute, you can’t treat me as though I’m something precious.”

“Wei Ying—“

“What is going on in here?”

Wei Ying’s arms tightened again and Lan WangJi spun to see an old woman, face caked in almost as much makeup as Wei Ying’s. She scowled around the room, A-Yuan ducked down and hid, putting his little arms over his head.

“Ah, Auntie,” Wai Ying said, slowly unhooking his legs from around Lan WangJi’s waist and lowering them to the floor. Lan WangJi fought the urge to stop him, to keep him where he was. “It was just the girls being a little high spirited, you know. Nothing serious.” He might have been more convincing if the tears weren’t so evident in his voice.

“You’ve snuck a man in here.”

Wei Ying seemed speechless at that for a second, then turned to look at Lan WangJi. “Oh no, auntie. He just came in to help me. I’m not sneaking men in.”

“No men unless they pay,” she said, harshly. Lan WangJi reached for his pouch, intent on paying, but Wei Ying’s hand found his and stopped him.

“Auntie, this isn’t like that. I won’t let him pay. I already explain to you that he’s a friend.”

“It’s no problem,” Lan WangJi said, quietly, for Wei Ying’s ears only.

“I know,” Wei Ying said, equally as softly, smiling softly at him. “I just… I don’t want you to pay for my time. I don’t want you to be my client.”

“Wei Ying—“

“You’re nothing but trouble,” the woman snapped, drawing their attention back to her. “I’ve said for weeks that you’re nothing but trouble. Look at the mess you’ve made of this room.”

“I’m sorry, Auntie,” he said, bowing. “I’ll pay to put it right.”

“Ah. I’ll pay, I’ll pay. You always say that. You come in here, make mess and fuss, steal a man from one of my girls, don’t even make your clients pay. I don’t think I need you any more.”

Panic flashed in Wei Ying’s expression. “Please, Auntie. You know I work hard. You know I bring in money.”

She spat. “Money’s no good when you make this much trouble. And there’s that brat of yours to feed. I told you to let him work but you won’t. No, I don’t need you here. I can find much better people than you to fill this room. Take your things and go.”

“Auntie,” Wei Ying said, despair in his voice, tears starting to fall again. “Please.”

She turned and slammed the door.

A-Yuan shot from his hiding place, reaching Wei Ying and wrapping his arms tightly around the man’s legs. Wei Ying dropped to the floor, pulling the child into his arms and hiding his tears in A-Yuan’s hair.

Lan WangJi knelt beside them, unsure of how to help. After a moment, Wei Ying reached over and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him close. He went happily, wrapping his arms around them and holding the both of them tight until, gradually, their crying stopped.

A-Yuan was asleep, clearly exhausted. Wei Ying was a mess, his makeup smeared and his eyelids drooping.

Lan WangJi couldn’t help but lean in and press a kiss to his forehead. Then he stood and looked around the room.

“Tell me what’s yours and I’ll pack.”

Wei Ying laughed bitterly. “Not much. A-Yuan’s things, of course. We can start with them. If you look in the chest, there should be a canvas bag.

Lan WangJi opened the chest and retrieved the bag. The toys and A-Yuan’s clothes were packed in easily. Wei Ying then directed him to some of the plainer items of clothing which he dutifully packed. Clearly the finer, more well made pieces belonged to the brothel. He was also directed to pack the makeup which he did, clearing the small table it was stored on.

“That’s almost it,” Wei Ying said. “Here, come take A-Yuan for me. Be careful not to wake him.”

“I’ll be careful,” Lan WangJi said, easing A-Yuan out of Wei Ying’s arms and into his own. The child didn’t stir and Lan WangJi stood, holding him close.

Wei Ying stood up, wiped at his eyes, then made his way to the corner of the room. He folded back a corner of the rug and took up a board, then produced two items. A small pouch that clanged with change and a small, white piece of cloth.

“Do you remember this, Lan Zhan?” he asked, holding the fabric up. It was a handkerchief. He shook his head.

“Ah well, it’s fine. You left it that first time, all the way back in Koi Tower.”

“You kept it?”

“I did,” Wei Ying said, smiling fondly. “I think I knew even then that I wanted to see you again. I used to… well, it doesn’t matter what I used to do.” He folded the handkerchief carefully, as though it were precious, not simply a scrap of fabric Lan WangJi had never even missed, never even realised he’d left behind. “Come on, we’d better go before Auntie comes back to yell and wakes up A-Yuan.”

Lan WangJi nodded and let Wei Ying lead them out of the brothel. On the street, Wei Ying turned them to the inn, though he seemed to take his time, wandering through the streets and walking a little too close together so their shoulders bumped.

Outside the inn, Wei Ying drew to a sudden halt. Lan WangJi turned to him, waiting.

“I guess this is it,” he said, reaching out his arms. “Give me A-Yuan and my things, it’s probably best if we set out now while it’s dark.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, tightening his hold on A-Yuan.

“We need to go. I mean, there’s nothing for me here. I need to leave the town and, well, I can’t just rely on your kindness all the time, Lan Zhan. I know you care about me, I’m not stupid, but I have to stand on my own, right? You’re not always going to be there to scare away dogs for me.”

That was clearly a stupid statement so Lan WangJi didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached across the space between them and took Wei Ying’s hand, tugging him forward. Wei Ying made a token protest but then, when Lan WangJi tugged again, sighed and let himself be pulled inside.

Inside the room, Lan WangJi settled A-Yuan on the bed and set down Wei Ying’s bag of possessions. Wei Ying himself lingered in the door until Lan WangJi circled back to retrieve him, pulling him more fully into the room and over behind the privacy screen where there was a bowl of water.

“Wash,” he said, gently pushing Wei Ying towards it. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Wei Ying sighed, but he did as he was asked. Lan WangJi gave him a little privacy, retreating to the bed to check on A-Yuan, who was still sleeping, his cheeks still puffy and red from the tears. He knelt down and stroked then gently. A-Yuan would not cry like that again. Not if he could help it.

“Lan WangJi?”

He turned and rose. Wei Ying was waiting by the privacy partition, his hair down, his makeup gone, only his outer robes left. He was stunning. Lan WangJi swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

“Wei Ying.”

Then Wei Ying stepped forward into the light of the lamp and Lan WangJi understood the makeup.

The scars were all across his cheek, the one not currently swollen and bruised. Little white puncture wounds, like teeth.

Lan WangJi was at his side in seconds, lifting his hand to ghost his fingertips over the marks. He tried to meet Wei Ying’s eyes but Wei Ying was looking determinedly at his feet.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, yes.”

Lan WangJi nodded, then he leant in and pressed a kiss to Wei Ying’s scarred cheek. Wei Ying gasped, then turned, catching Lan WangJi’s lips with his.

It was different from the time they’d kissed before. That time they’d been desperate. They’d only had seconds, Lan WangJi’s life had hung in the balance. This time the kiss was slow and gentle. Wei Ying leant into it, wrapping his arm around Lan WangJi’s neck and allowing himself to be pulled close. Lan WangJi was finally allowed to rest his hands on Wei Ying’s hips, then to slide one hand up Wei Ying’s back along his spine.

When Wei Ying pulled back, he was smiling. He glanced up at Lan WangJi through his eyelashes, then leant in to press one last kiss on Lan WangJi’s cheek.

“Sleep,” he said, softly. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Sleep,” Lan WangJi agreed, gently guiding Wei Ying to the bed. “I’ll protect you.”

“Lan WangJi.”

“Sleep,” he said again, pushing Wei Ying down onto the mattress. Wei Ying frowned, then slowly nodded his acceptance, settling in next to A-Yuan. Lan WangJi gave himself the small indulgence of leaving the lamp on then settled by the door, placing his sword beside him.

The were safe now. He finally had them here, Wei Ying and A-Yuan. His family, if they would have him.

He wasn’t going to let anything hurt them.

#

He had, in truth, expected that Wei Ying would try to sneak out during the night. He was gratified that, instead, he slept. He slept through the sun rising, through A-Yuan waking up and extracting himself from the bed to crawl over and settle himself on Lan WangJi’s lap, though the two of them eating breakfast and through Lan WangJi quietly reading to A-Yuan.

It was almost lunch time when Wei Ying finally stirred, jerking awake and then relaxing when his eyes fell on Lan WangJi and A-Yuan. His hand flew to his cheek, touching his scars, then dropped and he smiled self-consciously.

“Good morning,” he said. “You should have woken me.”

“Wei Ying needed rest,” Lan WangJi said. “You’re awake now.”

“Only just,” Wei Ying grumbled. “Lan WangJi, you have to know, I’m no good at all at mornings. I’m so bad at them. You’re going to have to come over here and carry me if you want me to get out of this bed or I’ll just lounge here forever.”

“I know this about you,” Lan WangJi agreed, remembering many mornings spent together while his leg healed. He moved to the bed and gently pulled Wei Ying up then guided him to the table, where A-Yuan climbed into his lap.

“Ah, A-Yuan,” Wei Ying said, raining kisses down on A-Yuan’s face. “Have you been being good? Have you been listening?”

“Yes,” A-Yuan nodded enthusiastically. “But can I play now?”

“Sure,” Wei Ying said, letting him go. “Your things are in the bag.”

A-Yuan nodded and rushed over, pulling things out in his haste to get to the toys. Wei Ying watched him with a small, indulgent smile and so Lan WangJi let the mess go too. He poured them both a cup of tea, setting Wei Ying’s by his hand.

“Ah, thank you,” Wei Ying said, noticing it and picking it up. “Lan WangJi, you’re too kind.”

“Never,” Lan WangJi said, watching Wei Ying drink. “Wei Ying deserves all the kindness. And you should call me Lan Zhan.”

Wei Ying flushed and ducked his head. “Isn’t that a little too informal?”

“I wish to be informal with you.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said, as though surprised by this. Then, softly and carefully. “Lan Zhan.”

“Yes.”

“Oh,” he said again, smiling. “I like it.”

Lan WangJi nodded, then leant in for a kiss which Wei Ying was apparently happy to give. Then he went to find lunch for them.

Lan WangJi made sure Wei Ying ate well, then Wei Ying sent A-Yuan to play in a little courtyard behind the inn where a few other children were playing together. He stood in the window and watched until he was sure A-Ying was being included and not bullied and then he came back to the table.

“So,” he said, glancing at Lan WangJi. “I suppose we need to talk.”

Lan WangJi nodded.

Wei Ying reached up to touch the scars again. This time, Lan WangJi intercepted his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing Wei Ying’s fingers, then wrapping the hand tightly in his. Wei Ying sighed and squeezed Lan WangJi’s hand.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“I want to know everything about Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying nodded, then sat up a little straighter. “When you left me, back then, I told them that Wen Chao and I had fallen asleep after we’d had sex and that I woke up because I heard a noise and Wen Chao was like that. They didn’t believe me, but they knew I didn’t kill him. I almost thought they were going to leave me alone, but they came back and took me away to nightless city.”

Lan WangJi’s hand tightened on Wei Ying’s. He’d seem some of the prisoners kept there. He couldn’t think of Wei Ying there. Couldn’t think of his bright smile, his beautiful laugh, his skilled fingers, hidden in a cell and buried, left to rot.

“In a way, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I expected, well, maybe they didn’t like men enough to try to hurt me like that. But they did work out I was afraid of dogs. I always have been. When I was little and living on the streets I had to fight them for scraps.”

Lan WangJi couldn’t help but make a hurt noise. He couldn’t help but imagine Wei Ying, as young as A-Yuan, on the street, cowering in fear, fighting dogs to eat. It was unbearable.

“Oh Lan Zhan, no,” Wei Ying said, reaching over with his free hand to touch Lan Zhan’s cheek, to wipe away a tear. “It’s okay, it was so long ago.”

“It is not okay,” Lan WangJi said. He stood and rounded the table to sit beside Wei Ying, pulling Wei Ying into his arms. Wei Ying resisted for a second then collapsed against him, laying his head on Lan WangJi’s shoulder. “I will not let any dogs near you again.”

“You shouldn’t spoil me like this,” he said. Lan WangJi squeezed him tightly. “I… they found out I didn’t like dogs. That I was scared of dogs. Then they used to tease me with them. They used to lock me in a room with the dog and watch me panic. They used to laugh. I have scars on my arms, too, but the one that bit my face… there was blood everywhere, Lan Zhan. I know it’s silly but I thought I was going to die. I thought the fright would kill me if the dog didn’t.

“It wasn’t long after that when Wen Ning found me. Do you remember Wen Ning?”

Lan WangJi nodded. He did, of course. He remembered the long nights of suffering, of listening to the two of them, of wishing desperately that it were him.

“Of course, I made sure of that, didn’t I? I wanted, well, I suppose I wanted you to notice me. I encouraged him because of that, because I knew you hated it when he was there. I thought, maybe, if I got you jealous enough, you’d start loving me like I loved you.”

“I already loved you,” Lan WangJi said, which made Wei Ying spin to look at him.

“You loved me?”

“Of course. Wei Ying was brave and strong and so generous. Of course I loved you.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Oh, I didn’t know.”

A tear ran down his cheek and he reached up to wipe it away but Lan WangJi stopped his hand again, catching it with his lips instead and then leaning down to kiss Wei Ying. They spent a little time like that, leaning together kissing, their hands entangled. When they pulled back, Wei Ying rested his head in Lan WangJi’s shoulders again and Lan WangJi held him.

“I… I suppose I needn’t have bothered with Wen Ning then. I loved you too, you know. When you asked me to come with you, I nearly said yes, even though I knew we’d never make it. But, well, it’s a good thing that I spent time with Wen Ning. He found me and make the guards hand me over to him, then he smuggled me to some small town estate and left me there to heal. And then, when Nightless city fell, I left before anyone mistook me for a Wen.

“I moved around for a while, looking for work. It’s not easy when you have scars on your face and it took me a while to discover that the makeup actually covered them. Then Wen Ning found me again. He was on the run by then, his family gone, he only had A-Yuan.”

“A-Yuan is a Wen?” Lan WangJi glanced at the window. It would certainly explain why Wei Ying was so protective of him.

“He is. Wen Ning asked me to care for him so of course I said yes. It was even harder to find work with a scarred face and a child but we kept moving. Wen Ning was able to give us a little money. They we found the tavern here and thought we were doing so well.”

“I looked for you.”

Wei Ying turned his head to look up at him. “You did?”

“I was in the party that re-took Shangoju. Nobody knew where you were. I asked for you everywhere. I have been to brothels everywhere asking for you.”

“But I was moving and lying low so you never found me,” Wei Ying finished, then leant in and kissed Lan WangJi on the cheek. “But you found me now.”

“I found you now,” Lan WangJi agreed. “Stay with me. Come with me to Cloud Recesses.”

Wei Ying snorted. “I’ve heard of Cloud Recesses, you won’t be allowed to bring a prostitute there.”

“I’m not asking to bring a prostitute into Cloud Recesses, I want to bring my betrothed into cloud recesses. I would like for you to agree to marry me.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, pulling back to look Lan WangJi in the eye. Lan WangJi met his gaze. He was sure of this, of them. He’d never been more sure of anything. “You can’t mean that.”

“I wish to be your husband. I wish for you to be my husband. We will care for A-Yuan together. We will be family.”

“You can’t marry me, Lan Zhan. They’ll throw you out, won’t they? Or are the rumours a lie?”

“They might,” Lan WangJi admitted. “I intend to break several sect rules to bring you to Cloud Recesses and marry you.”

“Than you can’t do it.”

“I must,” he said. “I love you. I’ve only ever loved you. If you don’t love me, if you don’t want to marry me, that’s fine. I will help you travel to a safer place. I will help you find work. But if you love me, I would marry you.”

“If they throw you out?”

“Then I will be with you and that will be fine. I will build us a house. We will be happy.”

“You’re impossible,” Wei Ying wailed, throwing himself forward into Lan WangJi’s arms. “You can’t love me that much. It’s too much. It’s impossible. Lan Zhan.”

“I love you,” Lan WangJi said again, because it was the only important thing. “I loved you in Koi Tower. I fought it, but you’re too good. I need you.”

“I need you too,” Wei Ying said, clinging. “I thought about you every night. I used to hold your handkerchief and imagine you’d given it to me as a promise, that you were my sweetheart and you were going to come back and take me away from the brothel. Though I don’t think I was brazen enough to ever imagine marrying you.”

“But you will marry me?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying agreed, leaning in for a kiss that Lan WangJi was more than happy to give.

Wei Ying had agreed to marry him. Everything else seemed unimportant by comparison.

They kissed, then, until A-Yuan came back to the room.

#

The next morning, Lan WangJi left A-Yuan and Wei Ying in bed and went into town. It took him some time to find someone who would sell him a donkey but he managed in the end, the walk would be too much for A-Yuan and, maybe, for Wei Ying too.

He also bought provisions, as they wouldn’t have golden cores to sustain them and would need to eat, and warm blankets in case they needed to rest outside, and a small soft toy rabbit for A-Yuan.

When he returned to the inn, he settled his bill and went to his room to find A-Yuan playing quietly and Wei Ying still sleeping.

He piled Wei Ying from the bed with kisses and the promise of breakfast and helped him dress, then helped A-Yuan dress too and lead both of them down and out of the building.

Wei Ying didn’t seem to actually wake up until Lan WangJi lifted him onto the donkey.

“Oh,” he said, blinking. “You bought a donkey?”

“Yes,” he said, finishing securing Wei Ying’s bag to the saddle with his other purchases. “It seemed best.”

“I… I think I remember a donkey. It’s so long ago.”

He waited for more but it didn’t come so he finished his work and called A-Yuan over from where he was playing with his stuffed rabbit. A-Yuan came obediently, holding out his arms to be lifted.

“Would you like to ride on the donkey?” he asked, scooping the child up. “With your Big Brother?”

“I want rich Big Brother to Carry me.”

“A-Yuan,” Wei Ying gasped, “Don’t be so rude.”

“It’s fine,” Lan WangJi said, lifting A-Yuan and setting him on his shoulders. A-Yuan gasped in joy and grabbed at his head to hold on. “Is that good.”

“Yes, rich Big Brother,” A-Yuan said, seemingly delighted with his place. Lan WangJi smiled and lifted the reigns, beginning to lead the donkey. He only got a few steps before Wei Ying reached forward, grabbing his arm.

“Wei Ying.”

“I just… I love you. I really love you.”

“I love you too.” Lan WangJi said.

Wei Ying smiled at him.

It was all he had ever wanted.

#

That night, Lan WangJi paid for a room in an inn. A-Yuan seemed exhausted from the journey and barely managed to eat before he fell asleep, curled up on a cushion. Lan WangJi spent a little time watching the rise and fall of his chest. It was strangely comforting. He'd never imagined himself as a father, but now he could imagine a family far too easily. Himself, Wei Ying, A-Yuan, maybe a few more little ones.

"It's getting late," Wei Ying said, though Lan WangJi knew he didn't normally sleep until much later than this. "Come to bed, Lan Zhan."

"Are you tired?" Lan Zhan asked. When he looked over, Wei Ying was smiling at him fondly.

"No, not tired." He reached out and stroked Lan WangJi's cheek. "Come to bed, Lan Zhan."

Oh, that kind of going to bed. Lan WangJi raised his hand to grab Wei Ying's wrist then pressed a soft kiss to the delicate skin over his pulse point. "Anything Wei Ying wants."

"That's so dangerous, Lan Zhan. Don't say things like that to me. Anything I want? What if I want something outrageous? What if I want to tie you down to the bed and do whatever I want to you all night? Or what if I want to make you stay in bed with me all day and not even get up to eat? Or what if I want to not even have sex ever again?"

"Anything," Lan WangJi said, meaning it completely. Wei Ying flushed.

"Anything other than the last one?"

"If Wei Ying doesn't want to have sex, we don't have sex. If Wei Ying never wants sex, we will never have sex. Having Wei Ying near and being allowed to love him is enough."

"Oh, no," Wei Ying wailed. "You can't possibly say anything like that. My poor heart can't stand it. Lan Zhan, you're too cruel."

"Will cuddling still be allowed?"

"Cuddling is definitely allowed," Wei Ying said, throwing himself into Lan WangJi's arms. "Sex is too, just so you know. I definitely don't want to never have sex with you. In fact, we should be having sex right now!"

"Are you sure?" Lan WangJi asked, tightening his arms around Wei Ying. "I don't want to hurt Wei Ying."

"I promise you won't," Wei Ying said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "But we should hurry up and get naked. A-Yuan is a very good child but even he can only sleep so long."

"I will move him behind the privacy screen," Lan WangJi said, which made Wei Ying giggle. Once he disentangled himself, it was easy enough to scoop the cushion and the sleeping child up and carry them behind the screen. A-Yuan murmured a little but settled easily when set down and Lan WangJi felt himself relax.

Then he went back round the screen to Wei Ying.

The room was dimmer than it had been, Wei Ying had apparently used the time to turn out the lights and he lay on the bed, robes open, naked skin exposed beneath them. He was beautiful.

"You're beautiful," Lan WangJi said, simply because he could say such things now. Wei Ying squirmed on the bed.

"Ah, Lan Zhan, don't say things like that so earnestly."

"It is true," he said, coming to sit at the side of the bed. "Wei Ying is beautiful and good. I love you."

"I love you too," Wei Ying said, reaching out to grab his hand. "Kiss me please, Lan Zhan."

So he did. He pulled Wei Ying into his arms and kissed him as slowly and as carefully as he could. He was aware that it was probably inadequate, that he had no other teacher than Wei Ying himself, but he loved the feel of Wei Ying's lips and the feel of Wei Ying's body in his arms and he would not sacrifice it for anything other than Wei Ying's happiness.

When they finally broke apart, Wei Ying smiled up at him, his face almost hidden in shadow and suddenly Lan WangJi wondered if that was why Wei Ying had spent the time he was moving A-Yuan to extinguish some of the lights. He lifted his hand to cup Wei Ying's cheek, then stroked his fingers over the scars.

"Lan Zhan..."

"You are beautiful. Every part of you."

"I'm okay," Wei Ying said with a little shrug. "There are far more beautiful people in the world than me, you know."

"Not to me," Lan WangJi said. "To me there has only ever been Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan, stop," Wei Ying said, leaning in to press his face against Lan WangJi's neck. "It's not fair to flatter someone like that."

"I do not flatter," Lan WangJi said, winding his arms around Wei Ying. "Flattery is forbidden. So is lying. I am telling you the truth. To me, Wei Ying is the most beautiful person in the world."

"You're terrible," Wei Ying said, but then he pressed a series of kisses to Lan WangJi's neck so he presumed he was forgiven. "Absolutely terrible. I'm going to become to conceited that nobody will talk to me. Is that what you want, Lan Zhan?"

"I will still talk to you. I will always talk to you."

"Terrible," Wei Ying mumbled, sliding his hands under Lan WangJi's outer robes. "You're going to be so bad for me. It can't be true, anyway. There have to have been other people."

"Nobody," Lan WangJi said, reaching out to slide the robes from Wei Ying's shoulders, exposing his beautiful skin. One day, he would lay Wei Ying out in the light of the sun and examine every inch of him. Then, he contented himself to simply press a kiss into the skin of Wei Ying's shoulder.

"What do you mean when you say nobody?" Wei Ying asked, his hands stilling under Lan WangJi's clothes.

"Nobody. There is nobody else for me but Wei Ying. There has not been anyone else. I only want Wei Ying."

"But-"

"Only Wei Ying," Lan WangJi interrupted, then kissed Wei Ying long and hard to make his point. Wei Ying wrapped himself around Lan WangJi, bringing their bodies together, and it was wonderful. It was everything he had dreamed of, all those years alone in his bed. Wei Ying fit perfectly in his arms.

And then Wei Ying's clever hands returned to the task of taking away Lan WangJi's clothes and Lan WangJi let him, focusing his own attention on kissing every inch of Wei Ying's skin that was offered to him.

Wei Ying was very obliging, shrugging out of his robe and making pleased sounds to guide Lan WangJi's exploration. Lan WangJi helped too, shrugging out of his robes and standing quickly to rid himself of his undergarments then moving to straddle Wei Ying on the bed, pressing him down into the mattress and kissing him and kissing him and kissing him.

He didn't even think about the ribbon until Wei Ying's fingers were tangling in his hair and pulling it away. He sat back and looked down at it, lying there in Wei Ying's palm. Wei Ying ran his fingers over it.

"You could use this to tie me up," he said, stroking it. "I think it'd be strong enough, though it might get all twisted. I suppose you'd be in a lot of trouble if you arrived back at him with a messed up forehead ribbon?"

"Yes," Lan WangJi agreed. He took the ribbon then, carefully, would it around Wei Ying's arm. "The forehead ribbon is sacred to the Lan clan. It symbolises our self-restraint. The only people who may touch it are the people that person feels no constraint around, a parent or a spouse."

"Or a fiance?" Wei Ying asked, running his fingers over the ribbon.

"Or a fiance."

"It's so strange. I still can't believe you're going to actually marry me."

"I will make you believe, in time," Lan WangJi said, leaning in for another kiss. He had time, after all. All the time in the world, nobody would take Wei Ying from him now.

They kissed and pressed against each other for some time before Wei Ying pulled back again, looking up at him. "Lan Zhan, is this really your first time? There hasn't been anyone else?"

"There hasn't been anyone else," he agreed.

"Then I'm going to make it good for you, I promise. You're going to have such a good time that, after this, you're going to want to do it every night."

"We can, if that's what Wei Ying wants," he agreed. "Every night."

"You're so earnest," Wei Ying said, sounding slightly awed by it. Lan WangJi nodded because, yes, he was. Wei Ying made a strangled little sound and pressed his face into his hands but Lan WangJi simply pulled them away again to kiss him gently. Wei Ying sighed into the kiss, wrapping his body around Lan WangJi, and Lan WangJi was more than happy to press them together, lowering his weight down into Wei Ying so they were as close as they could be, mouth to mouth, chest to chest.

Of course, other areas were close too.

Lan WangJi was an expert in ignoring his own arousal. The Lan sect rules taught that bodily reactions were normal and natural and to be ignored until they went away, a rule which Lan WangJi strove to follow. Still, the feeling when he brushed up against Wei Ying was more than anything he'd ever felt before, worse than any temptation, somehow more overwhelming than his own hand on the few shameful times he had given in and touched himself.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispered, threading his fingers into the hair at the base of Lan WangJi's neck. "You feel so good."

Lan WangJi grunted, they moved his hips, feeling the drag of his member across Wei Ying's stomach. Wei Ying's hardness was pressed against him too and Wei Ying gasped at the movement and whispered his name again, voice full of awe, in a way Lan WangJi was beginning to think he'd never grow tired of hearing.

He repeated the movement, then again and again, each time drawing noises from Wei Ying. It was intoxicating, having him so close, hearing him gasp. He's listened to Wei Ying have sex so many times, he'd heard all the showy noises he made for his clients. Here, in Lan WangJi's arms, he was almost silent, eyes drifting closed, fingers digging in to hold Lan WangJi close.

Lan WangJi wanted to hold him there forever, suspended in a moment of pleasure. He wanted to make him come more, to drive him over the edge then do it again and again. To learn all the things that made Wei Ying's body sing and do them all, over an over again.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said, running on hand down Lan WangJi's chest to cup his erection. "What do you want? It's your first time, it should be special. You can fuck my ass or my mouth. You can come on my face. What do you want?"

"I want to make Wei Ying happy."

"Lan Zhan!"

He kissed Wei Ying then so they he couldn't protest any more, then freed up a hand to slide it down between them. Wei Ying was already so hard he was leaking and he shuddered as Lan WangJi touched him. He began to stroke, making himself focus on Wei Ying's face, on Wei Ying's pleasure, not on the overwhelming feeling of Wei Ying's hand on him. He watched as Wei Ying's eyes fluttered, as his lips feel open, half formed words fading into the air and gasps pushing their way free. We watched as Wei Ying came, tensing, shaking, clinging to Lan WangJi then, slowly, relaxing back into the bed, looking up at Lan WangJi with glassy eyes, finally untangling his hand from the hair at the base of Lan WangJi's skull and bringing it round to stroke Lan WangJi's cheek.

Lan WangJi turned to kiss it, then wrapped his hand around Wei Ying's hand on his erection, tightening it just enough.

He didn't last long.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said, kissing his cheek, his lips. "Lan Zhan, I love you."

"I love you," Lan WangJi said. His kissed Wei Ying again and again for for a long time they simple lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing.

They might have carried on all night if it weren't for the sound of movement behind the privacy screen.

"Big brother?"

"I'm here," Wei Ying called. "Go back to sleep, A-Yuan."

There was silence for a moment, then a tentative, "Okay."

Lan WangJi risked one last kiss to Wei Ying's neck then slid out of the bed, grabbing his under-garments and throwing them back on. He then snagged Wei Ying's under-robes and took them to the bed. Wei Ying was a mess, covered in the evidence of their joint pleasure, so Lan WangJi kissed him then headed behind the privacy screen to bring water.

A-Yuan was lying on the cushion, watching him.

"Sleep," Lan WangJi said softly, smiling at the child. Their child.

"Can I come in the bed?"

Lan WangJi looked down at the damp clothing in his hand. "One moment."

He returned to the bed where Wei Ying was still sprawled and cleaned him, then wrapped him in the robe and went to fetch A-Yuan. A-Yuan blinked owlishly between then but seemed glad to be put on the bed and Wei Ying smiled at him, petting his hair until he drifted back into sleep.

Once he was sure A-Yuan was asleep, Lan WangJi climbed into the bed, placing himself between them and the door.

"Hey," Wei Ying whispered. "Was that okay? I mean, was it good? Did you have a good time?"

"Yes," Lan WangJi said, leaning over to kiss Wei Ying. "Though we should try again tomorrow, to be sure."

"I could do that," Wei Ying agreed. "I'd like that."

"I'm glad," Lan WangJi said, watching Wei Ying's eyelids flutter closed. "Sleep now. I will be here."

#

The next morning, they sent A-Yuan to play and spent the morning in bed. Lan WangJi could see that every day was going to be challenging with a child but he would try.

For Wei Ying, he would do anything.

#

They married in cloud recesses in the spring.

Uncle didn’t attend, but that was fine. Lan WangJi had his brother there beside him, the sect leader, welcoming Wei Ying to the family.

Wei Ying was beautiful in red.

Wei Ying was always beautiful.

The morning after their wedding, Lan WangJi coaxed his husband out of bed with soft kisses and food. He kissed the scars on Wei Ying’s cheek, he kissed the delicate turn of his wrist, he kissed his soft stomach, no longer flat and tight with starvation.

When Wei Ying was awake, they went together to collect their son from Lan XiCheng, who had cared for him while they slept, then collected their supplies and their donkey and left.

Uncle’s tolerance could only be pushed so far, after all, and HanGuang-Jun had a duty to go where the chaos was, for now at least. If he had already spoken to his brother about plans for a small house, just outside Cloud Recesses, that was his secret for now. Soon, A-Yuan would be too old for travelling and, well, there were always more children who would need homes. He thought Wei Ying might like that. A little house, just theirs, full of orphan children who they could protect. A place just for them.

As they left Cloud recesses, Wei Ying grabbed his sleeve, tugging at it. Lan WangJi stopped, then turned to kiss him, making A-Yuan, perched on his shoulders though he was getting to large to be carried in that way, protest.

“I love you,” Wei Ying whispered against his lips. “Husband.”

“I love you.” Lan WangJi echoed.

Wei Ying nodded and settled back into the donkey. As Lan WangJi lead them away down the mountain, Wei Ying dug around in his bag to retrieve his dizi, then lifted it to his lips and started to play. Lan WangJi smiled, he recognised the song. The same song Wei Ying had played a lifetime ago when Lan WangJi found him in a brothel.

To that familiar tune, they set off together into their new life, husbands.