Chapter Text
Sometimes, life decides that it doesn’t even feel like handing out lemons. It hands out rotten eggs, or asparagus. Not much can be done with either of those things - certainly not making lemonade - and all you can do is soldier on until the smell passes.
For Cas, that meant getting as far away from Pontiac, Illinois as he possibly could. The stench of his decaying love life would likely follow him anyway, but it wasn’t going to stop him from trying after his fourth first date in as many months.
So, he didn’t click with anyone. It shouldn’t have been as big of an issue as he was making it out to be, but he’d been single for nearly a decade and when it came right down to it, he was lonely. It shouldn’t be this hard to find someone to spend time with.
He pulled out his laptop and started looking up vacation spots for one. Not surprisingly, he didn’t get a lot of hits that looked appealing.
I want to go somewhere that will allow me to unplug. Like a cave. Or a castle.
A castle! Is that even a real thing? Can I rent a castle?
A few clicks through Google told him it was extremely possible, but expensive. Cas wasn’t worried about money, he had quite a bit in his savings account and it was looking more and more like he’d never have a family to spend it on, so why not? I think I’ve earned the right to splurge. All I ever do is work and come straight home. How much nicer would it be to not work and stay holed up somewhere with a moat?
He started browsing small, self-catering castles and came across about a dozen potential hits. If he was going to be dropping a ton of money, he wanted to make sure the place he picked was perfect, and started perusing the websites for each one to look at reviews and photographs.
Too modern.
Too big.
Why are the walls yellow? That’s disgusting.
That’s basically just a house with stone walls.
Holy shit, this one is gorgeous.
The pictures showed a tall, stone structure surrounded by gorgeous scenery and a small lake about a hundred yards from the entrance. The door itself looked like a gateway to a dark fairy tale - flanked by stone gargoyles with an old-fashioned sign reading ‘Private.’ It’s like LOTR meets Shrek, but in the best way.
The rest of the pictures both satisfied and piqued his curiosity, and he quickly pulled out his international credit card to book a weekend there.
Maybe I’ll just stay out there and live like a hobbit. Or an ogre. Or both. The possibilities are endless… I wonder if I’ll meet a talking donkey?
~~~~
His arrival at Ballynagowan Castle was wonderfully low-key. He received a quick tour of the main floor and a map that included a blueprint and a guide to the land around him, and then he was left to his own devices.
Cas had virtually no cell service there, but that suited him just fine, seeing as how he had no one to talk to anyway. He spent the first couple of hours attempting to start a fire in the large, gothic fireplace that graced the main room, and then relaxed in the vintage armchair as he listened to the crackle of the flames.
Shockingly, he didn’t feel any better. But hey, it’s better to be depressed in a gorgeous castle in the middle of Ireland than at home. He’d hoped that his weekend there would change things for him, and he wasn’t giving up hope just yet.
After a quick dinner, he finally decided to start exploring. Most of the castle had been renovated for modern living, but a majority of the lighting still came from the windows which meant he carried a flashlight with him the whole way. Maybe I’ll find a torch somewhere. I’m completely alone, which means I don’t need to be embarrassed by geeking out. Who cares that I’m a twenty-six year old man? If I want to carry a torch down some creepy castle stairs and try to pull off a British accent as I talk to myself, who would judge me?
The bedrooms were all gorgeous with huge tapestries and four-poster beds, and after dropping off his luggage in the largest room, he decided to brave the stone stairs and see what was hidden underground before it got too dark outside. He walked slowly, refusing to acknowledge the rapid beating of his heart or the way the hair on the back of his neck stood on end as he hit the ground.
His eyes widened as his flashlight shone on a library of sorts. There were only a couple dozen books still on the dusty, forgotten shelves, but it was still one of the coolest rooms he’d ever been in. There was a small writing table in the corner and a shelf cut into the wall itself which housed some sort of a statue. Mongolian, maybe?
Cas scanned the books one by one, but the last one wouldn’t come off the shelf. He tugged on it again, but instead of it coming free, it stuck - teetering on the bottom of the spine. Behind him, the sound of stone scraping against stone practically had him jumping out of his skin. He whirled around, the beam of light unsteady thanks to how badly his hand was shaking.
“What the - who’s there?”
Of course, no one answered him. Okay, this just became an Indiana Jones movie. And if those taught me anything, it’s don’t go into the freaky trapdoors without a whip.
Lacking one of those, he went in anyway, sweeping the cobwebs out of his way. There are worse ways to die… probably. The first thing he noticed happened to be the only thing in the room - a life-sized, marble statue of the most gorgeous human being he’d ever seen.
There’s no way that was a human. He had to have been a god. Maybe Greek? He stepped forward, shining his flashlight a little lower. Cas nearly dropped the damned thing when he realized the statue was not only very anatomically correct - but apparently, this particular god had been depicted… masturbating.
A huge, stone hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, and his mouth was slack like he’d been close to the edge when the sculpture decided to capture him. It was one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen, and his mouth watered slightly at the sight.
Against his better judgement, he reached out to brush his thumb over the smooth tip. He gauged the space on the statues thighs and realized it was in a perfect position for him to — What? No. Stop it. I’m not going to fuck myself on a statue, that’s insane and incredibly disturbing. Just... walk away.
That was easier said than done, but he managed it after memorizing just about every centimeter of it. He felt like he was in a daze the rest of the night and barely slept. Who hides a statue that gorgeous in a secret chamber? Okay, maybe it’s not the most appropriate creation, but it should be in a museum or something, not locked away.
If he dreamed about the being the statue was based on, that was his business.
~~~~
Day two found him walking the grounds and taking a naked dip in the lake to wash off. The shower the castle featured was incredible, but he wanted a more realistic experience, and it wasn’t exactly like he had anyone to impress. It was freeing, and that was precisely what he needed.
It was damn near impossible not to think about that statue, or the bottle of lube he’d brought with him just in case he actually met someone. I don’t think a marble ‘someone’ really counts, and I’m better off forgetting the damn thing exists.
But by nightfall, the realization that he was going home the next day was sinking in, and he couldn’t really fault the places his mind went. It’s just a statue, it’s not like it’s real… and I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ll never have to look at it again, and no one will ever know it happened as long as I clean it off and figure out how to unstick the book to shut the door again.
He changed his mind about six times between grabbing what he needed and actually getting down there. Cas also brought a couple of lanterns with him that time to make sure he could see, a wet rag and a towel. He cleaned the parts of the marble he’d be touching and thickened in his pajama pants as he got a little carried away stroking that hard cock. For goodness sakes, how lonely am I that now I’m giving the statue foreplay?
Again, he almost talked himself out of it. But something about the lines of the man’s face had him rooted to the spot and shucking his pants down to his ankles. He hastily kicked them off and bent over, making quick work of opening himself up for his regular dildo. A few minutes with that, and he finally thought he was ready.
Cas’ heart was erratically beating as he climbed up onto the statue’s lap and braced his feet on its thighs. He knew he’d have to be careful about the angle since there would be no give whatsoever, and he liberally lubed the marble before placing one hand on the statue’s shoulder and the other around the back of its neck.
Getting that huge mass inside of him was harder than he thought it would be, and it took an agonizingly long time to adjust to its girth enough to actually bottom out. He gasped, his thighs burning and knees cramping. Holy hell, that feels incredible. I’ve never been so fucking full in my life, why didn’t I do this immediately?
He rocked his hips, realizing quickly that it wasn’t going to work like that. Cas swore under his breath and bounced instead, sweat already coating his skin from the dampness of the room. His head tipped back and let out a lusty moan as the marble started warming up underneath him from his body heat. Fuck, this is so much better than I dreamed it would — what the!
Cas’ eyes widened as he suddenly found himself on the floor with a large figure hovering over him. A very real figure.
“Son-of-a-bitch, I thought I’d never be free of that damned curse,” a strange voice said. Castiel’s breath was ragged as his confused mind tried to make sense of what was going on. The figure leaned down to speak into his ear. “Sorry if round one doesn’t last too long, I’ve been hard for decades.”
He checked Cas out with a grin, just as he slid out and slammed back inside before Cas could say a word.
The force of it knocked the breath from Cas’ lungs and he dug his nails into the man’s back, holding him close. “Who - what?”
“Was cursed. Name’s Dean. Can we get to know each other after? Man, this ass is amazing.” Dean moaned and leaned down to suck on his neck, effectively ending any argument Cas would’ve had.
He’d truthfully never been so on board with anything in his life, or as turned on. Cas nodded quickly and muttered his own name, just in case Dean was as curious as he’d been earlier. He arched his back and took him deeper, hooking his ankles together and urging Dean on as he reached between their bodies to stroke himself.
“Fuck... so good, Cas...” Castiel smiled at the sound of his own name, happy to know he was listening. “I’m... gonna come... ah, fuck, finally!” Dean bit down on Cas’ neck and slammed inside, filling him so much it leaked out.
All at once, the pain, pleasure, and shock sent lightning through his veins and Cas stroked himself faster, gripping tightly until he was coming hard with a grunt all over his stomach. They laid there for several moments after, catching their breath as Cas tried to regain control of reality.
“Um… you’re… real, right? This isn’t some sort of fever dream?”
“You have that good of an orgasm in your dreams? I wish I could dream that graphic. Maybe I could have gotten a few off in that time.” Dean slid out and plopped next to Cas with a sigh. His thick wet cock laid on his thigh, and Cas still wanted more
He stared at it, leaning over after a moment and kissing the skin of Dean’s abs. He’s too beautiful not to. I just got fucked by a Greek god… holy shit! “So, you’re not angry with me for assaulting your statue?”
“Of course not. You just saved me.” Dean cupped his chin and ran his hand through his hair. “You’re also beautiful, so that helps.” He chuckled and laid his head back down. “What year is it?”
“Uhm... 2077.” Cas flushed from the compliment and let his eyes rove over Dean’s naked body. “How long were you... cursed?” Cursed? Seriously? How is this real life? I have to be dreaming.
“2077?! Holy shit! I was cursed in 2020, Cas.” Dean placed a hand over his eyes. “Sam musta went crazy lookin’ for me.”
Who the hell is Sam? Cas nodded, unsure of what he was supposed to say to that. “I’m sorry. Do you have any idea who did this to you, or… why?”
Dean blushed and huffed a laugh. “Uh... I imagine it was a witch. Her name was Rowena, and I didn’t like her messin’ with my brother Sam. I told her to fuck off and leave him alone. Witches are shady, Cas. Never tangle with one. Next thing I know, she’s breakin’ in my house in the middle of my uh... private time.” He shrugged. “I was kinda aware of little things. Like I came in and out of consciousness. Wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but every so often I would look around and see I was somewhere different, but I couldn’t move. I saw you... yesterday. You looked so fucking hot, and when you stroked my dick...” Dean bit his lip, his cock twitching noticeably. “Thank you... for goin’ for it.”
Cas dropped his eyes to the floor and wasn’t sure he ever blushed so hard in his life, but they now had more urgent issues. “I rented this castle from a red-headed woman named Rowena. If she’s the one that cursed you, we shouldn’t stay here.”
Dean’s eyes widened. “That bitch! She should be old as fuck by now... how old did she look?”
“Um...” Cas tried to focus, but that was hard to do with Dean nearly fully erect next to him. “Maybe late... late 30’s? Early 40’s?”
“Friggin witches!” Dean did a double take at Cas and then at his boner. “Sorry.” He palmed himself, “been hard for so long I don’t think it knows how to be soft anymore.”
Cas’ mouth was watering with need and he rolled over, positioning himself between Dean’s legs. He licked his lips and looked from Dean’s cock to his gorgeous green eyes. “I can help, if you’d like.” Please?
Dean released his length and braced his hands behind him. “Shit... okay.” He thrusted up. “Man... is this heaven? Maybe I’m dead and you’re my personal angel.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m just dreaming, but...” Cas shrugged, not trying to look too closely at things as he dove in and sucked Dean’s cock into his mouth. It certainly felt real, stretching his lips and forcing his jaw open, and certainly tasted real... but there was no way - cursed or not - that someone like Dean would be that interested in him.
He hummed as he moved his head, sliding his tongue along the shaft and playing with Dean’s balls. Either way, this is absolutely better than when he was a statue.
Dean hissed and thrusted into his mouth. “Fuck... so good at that! Goddamn, Cas... maybe this curse was a blessing.”
Cas opened wider and let Dean take over, lust coursing straight through his body as Dean growled and fucked his face until he was coming a second time, filling Cas’ mouth to the point it was hard to swallow. He‘d been filled on both ends, bloated with it in all the best ways.
Pulling off, Cas hummed contentedly and stood up, reaching a hand out to Dean. “Come with me, you’re nearly eighty years overdue for a shower.”
Dean chuckled and stood up, lacing his fingers with Cas’. “I’ll return the favor in the shower then.” He winked and let Cas lead the way.
His mouth was almost better than his cock, and Cas came so hard in that shower it was hard to stay standing. They got clean in a hurry after that, but took their time exploring each other’s bodies under the water when they were done. “You know,” Cas said, “If I’m actually awake and you’re not a figment of my overactive imagination, I’ll be tempted to agree with you. This was a blessing, not a curse.” He ghosted his lips across Dean’s, unsure if the man would actually want to kiss him, even after everything else they’d done.
Apparently, he did. Dean leaned in, pressing their lips together for the first time. He backed Cas against the shower wall as he slowly slid his tongue into Cas’ mouth, and it was undoubtedly the best kiss of his life.
Eventually, the water ran cold and they got out, breathless. Cas gave Dean some of his baggier clothes and smiled at how tight they were. “We need to take you shopping.”
“I don’t have any... anything. She caught me completely naked so I didn’t have a wallet.” He looked down with a sad expression. “You shouldn’t have to hold all my weight. M’sorry.”
Cas smiled genuinely and pulled Dean into a hug. “I know we barely know each other, but this is... by far the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I will help you in any way I can, and if you don’t mind living in Illinois for awhile... you’re more than welcome to come stay with me. I’m not quite sure how we’ll get you through Customs, though...”
“Shit... yeah... I wanna go with you.” Dean squeezed and kissed the side of his head. “Thanks. See... my personal angel.”
Warmth spread through him and Cas saw endless possibilities for the future. One way or the other, they’d figure it out. He tilted his head to kiss the underside of Dean’s jaw and grinned. “I just have one question for you, Dean. Do you like lemonade?”