Chapter Text
I lay on the floor as Evan Webber looked at his blood covered dick and I vainly tried to understand how I should be feeling. A man I had just met and been sexually attracted to almost instantly, not an easy feat considering that I was demisexual by nature, had frightened me by chasing me throughout his house in some twisted game of hide and seek. Once he had finally found and caught me, he had joyfully raped me on his kitchen floor with a mad and passionate zeal. And all while it had been happening, my theretofore virginal body had revelled in its violent defloration and the way the man could make it feel despite my mind and soul screaming that it was wrong and my mouth begging for him to stop. Yet he hadn't; he had kept right on taking me until his own violent climax inside the hungry for it cunt, lying together on the kitchen tiles, my blood flowing out between my thighs and painting the white ones red with the loss of my virginity and from the force and relish with which he had stolen it from me. And after it all was over, my predator, my relentless hunter, had shown me the tenderness I had only ever dreamt of a man giving to me, whispering sweet and loving words in my ears as if we had just made sweet love instead of sex at its most violent. All this rollercoaster of fear and pleasure only for a knock at the door to disturb it all and reveal to both he and I that what had all just happened was not what Evan Webber had believed: I was not the prostitute he had just ordered to play out some rape fantasy where he could punish the women whom had wounded him and not have to worry about consequences or a smear on his already sullied reputation. I was an actual stranger whom had truly been stuck out in the storm, as she had claimed all along, without a phone and had just honestly come to him for help.
And now Webber was left with the very real repercussions of having raped the innocent woman whom had merely chosen the wrong door to knock on.
As I lay there, I watched in a dazed fugue as Evan began to pace his kitchen floor after having stared at me in horror for a solid three minutes, his hand over the mouth which had been agape beforehand. As he walked paces from one end of the room to the other, I noticed in a fog his hand moving from his mouth to the back of his head and how the lightning lit him up on occassion and how his foot hit the ground to match the thunder occasionally too. Suddenly he stopped and stared down at me while his hand returned to its former station over his mouth. I had the vague feeling that a question like "why" or a "how" might escape from him, or even more probable an apology, but the man either was too proud or felt it was not enough to set it free.
His gaze on me, I felt a sudden amount of anger at him for not offering me that one single word and the fright that maybe the man was still unhinged enough, as the newspaper article had claimed he was, to try to cover up his mistake with an even more terrible crime than the one he had wanted to play out. When Webber finally fell to his knees before me and went to touch my naked shoulder, I flinched and moved back, whimpering. He looked at his hand instantly, regretfully knowing that his touch might be the last thing to offer me comfort.
"Are...are you...do you...I'm...I'm..." Still he couldn't get that one word out and remembering him thrusting into me with such sexual pleasure, and his words afterwards that he hadn't come that hard since high school, I wondered if it was having such difficulty emerging due to his shame or more because of the fact that it simply would not be true.
Recalling my body's own duplicitous bliss and that part buried deep inside of me that delighted in it, I found the question aimed at my own self then and starting to weep I held my body as a fresh sexual stirring began.
"Shhhh..." he whispered so softly it made me cry all the more violently. "Shhhh...it's okay...it will be okay..."
But it wouldn't be okay. I had been raped.
And I had enjoyed it.
"We'll...we'll get you to a hospital if you...if you need it."
I saw him glancing at my blood covered rear and how he cringed, hating what he had done to me and also desperately wanting me not to need it. If I didn't, then his dirty little mistake need not be discovered along with his dark sexual kink. Once again, I became terrified for my life, fearing that if the man delved into such violent fantasies to help get himself off what other forbidden acts he might be capable of.
"But look what you were capable of too?" I asked, not my OCD taunting me this time but rather myself.
I looked up at him imploringly, wanting him not to kill me and wishing also he could help me with the pain inside of my mind and soul.
Evan Webber looked at me with so much sorrow and his own self hatred in his sad eyes that when he touched me again I let his hand stay on my shoulder.
"Are you okay? Come on," he whispered helping me get to my feet.
His hands were warm and large about my shoulders and then around the skin on my waist as he led me from the kitchen, his body was strong behind me too. I flashed back to him pounding into me from behind and felt both fear and sexual excitement.
"NO!" I screamed and broke away from him, running to the knife box that I had been running to before he had managed to catch me. Pulling out a large butcher's knife, I ran to the piece of rope and then aimed the sharp weapon in Evan Webber's direction while my body trembled. The man stared at me as if seeing a large naked woman pointing a knife at him in his kitchen was only mildly distressing.
"Erin," he said calmly. "Are you okay? We have to get you to the hospital to make sure that I didn't hurt you."
He shut his eyes at his last few words, realizing that he had and there was no way of escaping it. I cried out as well, knowing that he had but remembering it in an almost blissful ecstasy. "How...how can I be sure you'd take me there?" I asked. "It seems like your good at pretending...very good."
He held out his hands. "Not about this. I want to make sure that you're okay."
I looked around and started to cry again as I held the rope to my chest. It's texture was rough and scratchy and made me recall the feeling of Evan Webber's beard on my breasts, how it had been softer and had brought with it the pleasure of his soft, moist lips. I moaned and whimpered and the man took a step towards me which made me jump. "NO!" I screamed again and lifted the knife up. "Strip!"
"What?" Evan asked.
"Take your clothes off," I stated, tears running down my cheeks. "You...you c-can't follow me if...if you're naked."
Evan blinked, a peculiar look crossing his face, before he began to remove his t-shirt and pants. I tried to ignore the fact that I immensely enoyed the sight of his slowly revealed body and the full display of his package and the weapon he had taken me with and torn me from the inside. I loved his long rectangular torso and his strong thighs and legs. I found myself wishing that he hadn't just raped me so I could admire the beauty of his body without feeling such strong guilt and shame if I allowed myself to do so.
"Sit...sit in the chair," I demanded directing the knife at a chair that was at the small table.
Webber walked towards it, showing off unintentionally his nice full buttocks, and suprised me when he brought the chair closer to where I was standing and turned it around so that it was facing me. I looked at the seat as he put his same glorious ass on it and sat down, looking at me with a strange expression on his face. I saw a resolve and surrender inside of that expression, one which confessed that the man believed that this was what he believed he deserved. Oddly enough, his penis looked slightly hardened in his lap and I had to keep from looking at it, not from terror but desire.
"I'm...I'm...I'm gonna tie you up now...And then I'll get dressed and leave. But...but I'll reserve a cab fir...first," I told him. "I'll...I'll let someone know...know you need to be untied when I'm gone."
"Are you okay though?" he asked.
I ran my fingers through my hair and started to weep again. I was tired of being asked that when I wasn't sure if I was or not and especially not by the man who had brought me to the confused state in the first place. Looking around, I saw my panties. Running and grabbing them, I equally quickly ran and stuffed them in Evan Webber's mouth to prevent him from asking me that question again.
"I...I want to go back to my hotel room," I said, trying not to look at the man as I started to tie him up. "My...my cell phone should be finished recharging by n-now. And it...it has air conditioning and room...room service."
When my eyes went by accident to his face, I could see that he was crying not for himself but for me. Those tears made me feel worse in a way, knowing I was so pathetic that even my rapist felt bad for me but being grateful for his pity all the same and for his soft, human compassion.
As I moved down to bind his legs to those of the chair, I couldn't help but see that his cock had swollen up between his legs even more. It was as if my tying him to the chair was turning him on. Keeping my eyes on its length, I tightened the rope to test out my theory and saw it rise even more, some veins starting to emerge on its shaft. It looked so beautiful even with my blood covering it and I had to quickly stand to try not to look at it, recalling all too easily my wanting to suck on it when I had been waiting for a taxi which was never going to come.
Standing up, I gazed down into Evan's brown eyes as lightning flashed once more and I once again felt my attraction to him glowing just as powerfully. The fear I had felt for him and the lust collided in my soul. I couldn't reconcile the two emotions along with my hate and something which felt horrifyingly like love. That last was the most destructive. I could not love the man whom had hurt me. Nobody would let me. Least of all that bullying voice of self doubt that never left my head. Suddenly I found my hand forming a fist and striking the man for the pain and confusion he had caused me. The sound of the strike coincided with a loud clap of thunder and Evan's head went back at the same time his dick rose even more. I did it one more time only to find his cock just as easily responsive and I felt my clit coming to life again with equal vigor as if it had found its mate attatched to Evan Webber's groin and could only lustfully mirror its actions. Evan's head raised again and there was a dazed look of arousal in his eyes as my panties hung partly out of his mouth.
"Oh you liked that huh?" I asked, falling into the behavior he had exhibited with me on the kitchen floor. "Are you a bad, dirty boy, Evan Webber?" I inquired stepping between his parted legs. "You like that? You bad boy?"
I got to my knees and started to grasp his phallus in my hands as I ran my hand up and down its length. I had already coated it quite well with my cream and blood and my palm slid along the shaft with ease. "You know, when I was sitting on that couch listening to the Ramones, all I could think of was sucking your dick...making you horny and happy," I confessed, tears coming out of my eyes. "Giving you what your wife was obviously not giving you...but I didn't because I'm a good girl...and good girls...they aren't supposed to do things like that."
The tears kept falling as I gazed at his reddened cock. "But, I guess, since you made me a bad girl why not..."
I stuck my tongue out and ran it along the underside of Evan Webber's upraised penis and it twitched hot and moist against my oral piece of pink flesh. Reaching its tip, I took it in my mouth and heard the man it belonged to moan in reaction. Lustfully I turned my fantasy on the couch into a reality, only now I could taste my own fluids on the organ which had started to weep inside of my mouth while I licked and sucked on it. I liked the way the soft flesh of it felt against me and the way that the precum fell down my tongue and throat.
"Mmmmphhh," Evan grunted deeply and I suddenly removed the member from out of my mouth to lean forward so I could likewise take my panties out from his mouth too.
"I want to hear you," I said. "I want to hear you now..."
I noticed his red and big cock had once more found its way between my pale breasts and looking up into Webber's eyes, I saw him see it too. I pressed both of my breasts against the beast so it looked like some horrible mutated worm emerging between two snow covered hills. "YOUR DICK STILL WANT THESE BIG TITTIES?" I screamed at him as I started to manipulate my breasts to move against the throbbing member of Evan Webber. This was my revenge but as the man watched me pressing my breasts into his erection, and then as he looked back to my wide, tear filled eyes and I saw his arousal growing and heard his heavy breaths, I was getting horribly turned on again, my clit and my cunt fawning over the man as I pleased him. My nipples tingled as they rested next to my palms and I saw the tip of the penis so close to my lips I couldn't help but place it inside of my mouth to lick it free of its precum again.
Evan gazed down at me sucking his cock while it was nestled between my huge breasts and he called out as his penis gave a strong convulsion in my cleavage. Oh, I was turned on again almost out of my mind! Giving it to the bound man and making him look similarly aroused to the point of madness. I wanted him inside of my vagina again, the traitorous part of me which had welcomed him with sexual avarice. My cunt was twitching in hunger and I made a show of standing up slowly, my boobs still sandwiching his furiously dripping member. My breasts were covered thickly in precum and it dribbled down my slippery mammaries as I straddled Evan's legs
"NOW MY C-CUNT!" I shouted breathlessly in my state of sexual excitation as I lowered my body forcefully, feeling my nipples shooting out as his dick entered me for the second time and set my nerves ablaze for one blinding moment.
Thunder cracked so loudly I was amazed that the sky wasn't torn in two as I started to move my hips up and down on the man's rock hard cock. "Ohhhhhh!" I purred in delight feeling it sliding against my walls.
Evan was breathing heavily as I stimulated his cock while he remained tied to the chair.
Still for all of my movement, I could not regain the wonderful and unwanted ecstasy the man had brought to me when he had taken me on the floor. I tried to find it again grinding more desperately in his lap but fulfillment was as elusive as trying to catch lightning in a jar.
"Not...not the same," I started to cry. "It doesn't feel the same..."
I moved about some more, my tears falling more fiercely as Evan Webber kept his eyes on me.
"You...you hurt me," I whimpered desperately. "I...I can't get it back now...you broke me and..."
Suddenly the man's arms shot out from the rope, breaking free from his binds as more thunder sounded. I felt my cunt come to momentary bright life again in my fear as I watched him reclaim his freedom and as his hand went around my throat and clasped it so I almost couldn't breath. His eyes were alight and intense as I looked in fright into his own and my arousal was once more back to the wonderful height he had brought me to without my will. He was going to kill me, I thought. He would squeeze my throat and steal my life and be rid of his mistake and the woman whom had tied him to a kitchen chair and taken him in return.
Still holding my vision, Evan Webber's expression changed to one of pure desire. "We gotta teach you to tie better knots, Erin," he said before kissing me with a fierce hunger.
Inside of his kiss, my heart still racing with adrenalin I found that frightened blissful woman inside of me again. His hands now free, the architect placed them on my hips and showed me how to move my body to place his engorged penis deeper inside towards where the pressure felt strongest and to hit my clit sat the same time.
"Got that?" he asked, grabbing my ass in his large hands.
"Y-YES!" I screamed.
"Good," he said pushing his face into my breasts and alternately kissing and biting them.
I was going mad again with ecstasy, feeling his cock alive and tearing into me from the way he had taught me how to move. His mouth on my tits was also causing me perfect bliss and when his lips would encircle a nipple and suck or bite the sensation was indescribable.
"Now say I'm a bad boy," Evan said as he cupped my breasts and pressed his head into them, kissing them and sucking on a piece of my smooth flesh after his order.
"You're a bad boy," I moaned. "So bad."
"Say I deserve this," he commanded and then ran his tongue all over my breasts already covered in his precum.
"You...you desreve this," I panted.
His fingers found my nipples and pinched them painfully. "Do it like you mean it."
"YOU FUCKING BAD BOY!" I yelled in pure pleasure, bouncing up and down on his cock and rolling my hips like the thunder. "YOU DESERVE THIS!"
Evan Webber threw his head back and moaned deeply as I felt his balls move underneath me and his penis starting to prepare for an unleashing.
"YOU LIKED HURTING ME...MAKING ME COME SO HARD I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T BREAK ME? YOU...YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT?" I asked, both seeing and feeling how much I was turning him on and feeling my own climax swiftly approaching. "WELL LITTLE RED WANTS ALL OF WHAT YOUR BIG RED HAS GOT! GIVE ME YOUR SEED, EVAN WEBBER! SHOW ME IN YOUR CUM HOW SORRY YOU ARE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"
"Hit me," Evan breathlessly demanded and I did.
He started to roar as his penis went off inside of my vagina and my fingernails dug into his back as our lips met passionately and my cunt began to pull out the seed from his furiously spasming and dangerous piece of flesh. My womb drank it like it could heal it in some way and I did feel better at least until both of us were spent and I fell against him, painting his chest with my tears.
"Shh...shhh..." Evan sounded again, petting my sweat covered back as he held me tightly.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, bringing my hand to his chest and feeling his nipple resting in the space between my fingers.
"Why?" Evan said, kissing my forehead. "This was the next part."
He continued to hold me as the storm finally began to die outside, the thunder becoming muted and the lightning leaving us all together.
* * *
Eventually we found our way back to the bedroom and the bed which I had hidden under and Evan had lain on top of. This time we were both on top of it, making love again in a far more common but still passionate way. After another still violent and shared climax, Evan Webber fell onto my chest and kissed my breasts as he explained the damage he had been left to struggle with on his own.
"After Genesis and Bel were arrested and Karen left me and wouldn't let me see the Jake and Lisa again...I felt even more helpless than when those two bitches put me through all of that horrible shit," he confessed, playing with my nipple. "The cops had them but the punishment seemed nowhere near the pain they had put me through. How do you measure that? And Karen...well I can understand why she did what she did. But not taking the kids away from me. That I will never understand."
I kissed the top of his head as he continued to play with my teat.
"I think what bothers me the most about it is not being there to comfort them. I remember when they'd get scared of the thunder and come to me...that was when they were younger but...the memory sticks." I stroked his hair for a while before he found the courage to continue. "I had so much rage, a lot of it sexual due to what was done to me," he finally said. "That whole situation was so sexually charged and screwed up. Being seduced and then raped...my mind...my body...it was warped. I found this site and I contacted it hoping that I could finally get it all out of my system. To make some substitute suffer in their place.."
"Why one girl at not two?" I asked.
"I tried that at the start but really it was a waste of money...they all kind of seemed the same in my mind anyway, Bel, Genesis...Karen...and it never felt as good if it was the same girl they sent me. That's why I thought...I thought you were..."
He started to cry into my chest and kissed my bare breasts several times. "I'm so sorry."
I felt myself becoming aroused again as I blinked back tears and just tried to enjoy the feeling of my lover's lips and body. "I know. I forgive you," I whispered caressing his shoulder now.
Evan raised his head and looked into my eyes, clearly grateful but confused. "I can't forgive Bel and Genesis for what they did to me. How can you possibly forgive me?"
I took a deep breath before I said out loud words I'd been ashamed to confess to anyone before in my life. "You didn't want what they did to you. Well after the sex stuff which I won't touch because that kind of hurts me because I...I think I'm in love with you but..."
"You're in love with me?" he asked looking at me over my boob. "You're in love with the man that raped you?"
I blushed and nodded, fearing he'd think I was strange. Apparently he didn't though for Evan Webber pushed his body up to mine and was soon kissing me before letting me tell him the rest of my painful confession.
"My mother wasn't exactly strict but I grew up taught sex was just for married people...but it always fascinated me and I had sexual feelings at a very early age. Too early. There was this incident with this boy in my neighborhood too when I was about four. He wanted to do something sexual or did...I can't remember. All I remember is him standing at a fence watching me on my swingset and then being in the living room with my dad being really upset and my mom being sad and silent. And I felt so guilty like I had done something wrong. I was repulsed and attracted to sex all at once. I remember, being about six and seeing in this one film this man about to rape a woman and being confused and excited by it... and then as I grew older it never got any better...probably what you experienced after what happened to you. I had these sexual feelings but didn't know what to do and rape always attracted me and I couldn't help it. I'd read or see sex scenes and picture myself as the girl and...and get aroused. I...I couldn't tell my mom and my sister...well she made me feel dirty if I even got near the subject. So I kept it to myself."
Evan was kissing my face again seeing my tears falling faster and my distress. "It doesn't help that I get sexually aroused when I'm frightened. Or that I have such shitty low self esteem... Thinking of a man I like wanting me enough to to hunt me down and take me even if I said no...wanting me, loving me enough...even though I know rape rarely has anything to do with love or desire...excites me. I even came up with a safeword in case I ever found a man I loved or trusted enough to do it with.""
"What is it?" Evan asked in curiosity.
"Zebra," I answered. "Not sure why...maybe thinking of a lion taking one down...predators and prey. But it has to be a man I am attracted to still. I don't believe in sex without some real emotion behind it. And being demisexual and painfully shy I'm not attracted to a lot of men."
"But you were to this messed up son of a bitch?" Evan asked his shock mingled with bemusement.
I nodded again, my chin hitting my breasts on the way
Evan kissed me between those same breasts and my body tingled from my nipples to my clit and cunt.
"When you started catching me it's like there were two mes. The one that was scared out of her mind and the one that was blissed out by it all...I was turned on every step I took, every pounding of my heart. And when you finally caught me in that kitchen and did all of that to me it was terrible and perfect all at once, when you took me...it was like I finally felt I'd found true sexual release. I can admit that now. To you if to nobody else."
Evan was looking at me in that thirsty kind of way again and I felt a stirring in my groin once more.
"Want me to do it again?" he asked, kneeling and letting the blanket fall from off of him to reveal his naked body and his freshly hardened cock.
"No," I said, squirming in front of him, the uttering of the two letters turning me on all the more.
Evan didn't hear them, letting his hand stroke my inner thigh and make my clitoris swell all the more.
"No, don't," I whispered and the man found my clit and started to rub it. "No, Evan! Don't do that!"
But he kept right on caressing the nub. I started to kick at him but he grabbed my leg and threw it aside, spreading my legs farther apart and offering him a better view between them, which made him even harder. I felt my cream spilling out, cool from my hole and I saw the man staring at my most private of areas, knowing he wanted it. He placed his head between my legs to lap up my flowing liquid and I moaned out another "No," as I grabbed his hair. I started to scream it even louder as his appetite grew and he pushed his face closer into my muff.
"Owwwww," I cried. "Stop it...don't do it..."
Webber took his head out of my crotch and licked my cream from his lips. "I don't think I will," he said. "My dick's thirsty for some of your cream too. You little tease, you little cock tease. You make me too horny."
I covered my breasts with my arms and wriggled on the bed. "No...I'm a good girl."
"Oh you are but I'm a bad dirty boy that's gonna have you whether you want it or not," Evan Webber threatened, leaning over and ripping my arms from off of my breasts and using his knee to reserve his cock's place between my legs.
"OH NO, NO, NO!" I screamed as the architect lowered his head and nipped at my nipples, making me hot way deep inside of my cunt. "GET OFF OF ME! GET AWAY! I'LL...I'LL TELL ON YOU!"
"And who'll believe you when I've made you dirty with my seed," he whispered into my tingling breast as he rubbed his dick against my labia. "Gonna make you so dirty, baby girl...nobody's gonna believe you...Cuz I'll paint you as mine."
"NO! NO GET AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed at him, hitting his shoulder which made Evan growl in pleasure.
He started to look at me lustily and intensely and I felt my fear and arousal growing.
"No, you make me so horny," he said to me. "I'm gonna take you and I'm going to fucking love every second of it. You made this," he said and poised his leaking cock at my opening. "Now you gotta pay the piper, Erin."
"NO," I shouted. "GET IT AWAY FROM ME! IT'S TOO BIG ITS..."
Right at that moment, Evan pushed it inside, hot and spewing and impatient. Another wonderful feeling of invasion and my cunt rejoiced in the return of its playmate as I started to struggle. "GET IT OUT! IT'S TOO BIG ITS..."
But Evan wasn't about to heed that without the safeword, he was pounding repeatedly as I cried out, "NO! NO! NO!" like it was really "YES! YES! YES!"
"BAD GIRL!" my OCD screamed and it sounded like my mother, my sister all of the people that would say this was wrong when it felt so fucking right. "Your being bad! Your being disrespectful and wrong."
But then I started to scream in my body's pleasure and drowned it out completely. Evan was into it too. He felt frighteningly hard between my legs and he had a mad glint in his eyes as he stared at me wriggling underneath him, trying to fight him and get away but not having a chance of doing so while he was hulking over me and thrusting inside of me with cruel abandon.
"OH NO! LET ME GO! NO! NO! NO!" I yelled as the feeling of pressure peaked and then my orgasm came. "OH NO! STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT!" I screamed at my body which was convulsing underneath my lover.
Watching my shocked face as I was wracked with bliss, I heard Evan cry out similarly as his penis started to convulse. He didn't keep it inside of my cunt this time however. He whipped it out before his coming and aimed it at my large chest and my face. I opened my mouth and caught it like rain on my tongue and rubbed it into my breasts, an act the man took over almost possessively. After his cock's final spilling, Evan held me again to him, falling to my side and pulling me on top of him, his cum getting on his own chest.
"Stay with me," he pleaded. "Please stay."
I held on to him but could not give him the answer he wanted.
* * *
We made love a few more times in various fashions. Sometimes feigning rape or punishment. Sometimes letting it just be sweet and perfectly normal. In between, Evan always begged me to remain with him instead of returning to my hotel and then eventually to Canada.
When I was dressing, at last, in one of his old t-shirts and pants, Webber seemed desperate in his pleadings as I sat on the edge of his by then very stained bed and he knelt in front of me.
"Please," I whispered. "I can't stay." I felt if I did the voice would be right and I'd be a disgrace to my mother, my sister the world that would claim it was unhealthy.
"Because of some voice that says it's wrong," he said. "It's not right; its not wrong; its just the way it is, Erin. Life breaks you and you're just left struggling to try to put the pieces back together and feel whole again. I'm broken too, Erin...but in you I found that missing piece...and I am yours too. Please Erin...with you...it's the same everytime...it always feels as good as the first time and no matter how we do it. All I need, all I want is you. I'm done with Fetishes. I found my dark and light side within you, girl."
I was crying, confused by the feeling that I'd done something wrong again but feeling so right with him close to me.
"It reminds me of a poem I wrote once," I said. "'I will not hide from my dark side, it simply would not do, For we are each other, we are one another, And you can never escape what is you.' And I can't escape her...But this...I don't know..."
Evan looked hopeful and grasped my hands in his.
"Bel asked me about destiny she said we don't pick randomly, that if she and Genesis were there with me that we had things to learn from each other. But that was a crock of shit! At least, with her and her damn friend. But here...you and me together we do have things to learn," he said, grabbing my shoulders. "Your kink and mine...Maybe this is destiny, Erin. Maybe this is God putting us together. You are my missing piece and I'm yours."
I looked down at my knees before he embraced me. "See this was the wrong house," my OCD said. "You chose the wrong house. Never should have met Evan Webber and his dirty little game of pretend. Corrupting you. Shoulda listened to me sport. I always know what's best."
Evan held me tightly to him, his tears on my cheek.
Knowing no other way to make him let me go, I whispered one word:
"Zebra."
And Evan Webber immediately backed away.
* * *
I spent most of the rest of my vacation in a daze, wanting to go back to Evan, whom I had left devastated, but holding myself back whenever I was close to giving in. The day I went to the airport to catch the plane back to Ontario, I felt dreadful sorrow as my inner bully constantly praised me for doing the right thing.
"Why it's my bad luck charm," my taxi driver said as I climbed in to the back seat and I recognized my fateful old friend with the moustache.
"Hi," I greeted. "Taxi fixed?"
"Yeah," he stated. "Listen."
He drove a bit and I heard nothing but the sound of an engine while I saw nothing but Evan Webber's sad face before I had left him. I looked out at the sky as we drove farther and frowned as I saw it darkening. "Is it calling for rain?" I asked.
The cabbie snickered. "It wasn't until you showed up."
I thought of destiny then. I thought of an architect madly trying to design his own life and how he was struggling desperately without someone to comfort in the absence of his stolen children and the piece of his soul he had lost when his life had fractured. And I thought of a woman broken in her own way whom tried to be good and whole when maybe God had allowed her to be broken so she could one day find her own missing piece by knocking on a door.
The right door after all.
A raindrop hit the window and I breathed in heavily as I heard the first clap of thunder.
"Forget the airport," I cried out. "Remember where your cab broke down that day?"
"Yeah."
"Take me there instead."
* * *
When I knocked on Evan Webber's side door, there was nobody else standing there and I just prayed to God that there was nobody inside playing the role meant for me. From the sad look on the man's face when he opened the door and then the beautiful grin that replaced it, I knew that he had been telling me the truth: He hadn't called Fetishes again.
I was all he wanted and the only thing he needed too.
"Umm..." I said. "My cab broke down and my phone is broken. I was wondering if I could come in and use your internet."
Evan tried to hide his smile but the hiding of his joy was the one thing he could not playact very well.
Neither could I for that matter.
"Yeah sure...sure come in. You're more than welcome to," he said beaming brighter than a flash of lightning. He stepped aside and motioned me inside.
I smiled at him, my big bad wolf with his broken heart, and entered his den, this time knowing exactly what I was getting myself into and surrendering wilfully to it. Evan Webber closed the door behind us on a world that may not understand but hardly mattered to us anymore anyway.