Chapter Text
GK at 6:10 PM:
Hey are you here? We’re near the Ferris wheel
GK at 6:19 PM:
I got you a cotton candy
GK at 6:40 PM:
Are you okay?
Saturday
“Order 2210! Cherry pie funnel cake with vanilla ice cream!”
Emma reached up to the food truck for her fried treat. “Thanks!”
She licked a drop of cherry pie filling from her thumb as she walked through the Carnival in search of her friends. They were going to make fun of her again for being late, but she wasn’t in the mood to care much.
Highbury College was situated in Highbury County and every year the surrounding towns came together to put together the Spring Carnival. It was a massive thing that ran for two weeks and included rides, strange and exciting food combinations, and all kinds of games and special events. Emma and her group of friends had attended it every year they had been at college - she and Harriet often went multiple times when it was open.
Emma had thought a good night’s sleep would restore her excitement for the outing, but it hadn’t. She still felt weird when she thought about George and Jane kissing, but she didn't know why. Though she did have to admit that she had been feeling kind of down for a while in general.
She turned a corner and came upon the Ferris wheel, her heart dropping when she saw all of her friends gone save for George.
“Hey,” she said as she walked up to him.
He looked up at her. “Hey.”
“I’m so sorry I’m late. You didn’t have to stand here the whole time. Where is everybody?”
George made a vague hand motion. “Around. Harriet and Annie are doing arcade games over there.”
“Oh.”
They were quiet as Emma took a bite of her funnel cake. “You said something about cotton candy?”
He raised an eyebrow at her snack then turned his gaze to the ground. “West ate it. But it seems like you weren’t exactly jonesing for it.”
Emma studied George for a moment. She could feel a wave of medium-grade annoyance coming off him. “Are you mad at me?”
He shook his head, still staring at the ground. Then he let out a breath and rubbed at his eyes quickly, like the bright lights of the Carnival were bothering him.
“I’m not mad.”
“You seem mad.”
George somehow made a shrug seem passive-aggressive. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“If you’re mad at me, I want you to say that you’re mad at me.”
“Okay! I’m a little mad at you Emma!,” he snapped, his voice rising louder on her name. “We waited - I don’t know - like half an hour for you to get here?,” he finished in a slightly softer, but still stern tone.
Emma felt a weird tickling feeling in her throat - the feeling she only got when she was about to cry. “I said I was sorry.”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, okay.”
Suddenly her delicious funnel cake tasted like nothing more than cheap, hot grease. While she was contemplating if she should throw it away or give it to West, George spoke up again.
“It’s my last year, Emma,” he said quietly.
She blinked up at him. “I know that.”
George rubbed his face again and looked over to where Harriet was ferociously playing Whac-A-Mole. When he turned back to Emma his usually bright blue eyes were dark, and a little sad. “I just feel like...we’re maybe not as close as we used to be?”
“The group?”
He shook his head. “You and me.”
Emma didn’t know what to say. Or how she felt. George’s eyes flickered over her face as he watched her expression fall. He stepped a little closer.
“You haven’t really been answering my texts lately - ”
“I was getting ready for the party last night and I’ve been doing homework all - ”
“Not just this weekend,” he said firmly, “All semester. I feel like we haven’t spent any time together in a long time - just the two of us. You didn’t even invite me to come home with you for Spring Break this year.”
“You never said anything,” said Emma, a little tartly, before walking over to a nearby trash can to dispose of the hateful funnel cake. George followed her, waiting patiently while she brushed powdered sugar from her hands. “And I thought you would be too busy with classes or your senior project.”
“I wasn’t too busy. Why didn’t you just talk to me about it?”
Emma crossed her arms, hugging herself a little. She felt the tickling in her throat become more insistent.
George sighed heavily. “I don’t want to keep making you apologize. I just - you’re my best friend. It feels like you’re pulling away before I’m even gone. And now with the Jane thing...I know you don’t like her very - ”
“I like Jane!”
He barked out a harsh laugh. “You’re such a liar.”
Something about the tone of his voice made the throat tickling reach its breaking point and a few rogue tears began to leak from her eyes. “Um. I -” She brought her hand up to her face to try to hide the tears, but he had already heard the wobble in her voice.
“Oh Em - ”
“No! I’m fine,” she said, but a few more tears still trickled out.
George looked back at their friends and then pulled Emma behind an animal balloon cart. He used his body to block her from view while she dried her face.
She looked up at him again when she felt more or less under control. “Do I look okay?”
He licked his thumb and wiped a smudge of mascara from her cheek. “All good.”
She caught his hand when he pulled it back, lacing their fingers together. “I’m really sorry. I think I probably have been avoiding you.”
He nodded sadly and squeezed her hand. “It’s okay.”
“It’s just that, you and Annie and Rob are all graduating. And Harriet will be gone…” she fanned her face with both hands to keep from crying again.
“Harriet won’t be gone for that long, and I’ll come visit as often as I can. I’ll only be an hour away.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
“Do you want to go back to everyone?”
“Yeah.”
He grinned at her then. “You always pout after you cry.”
They joined up with Harriet and Annie shortly after, the four of them walking around until they found West and Rob waiting in line for a fairly rinky-dink haunted house. Even though it felt out of place at a “Spring” Carnival, they all heartily enjoyed it. They marveled at the carefully placed store-bought cobwebs and cardboard witch’s cauldrons. Even George, who rolled his eyes for most of the event, was genuinely scared by the identical triplets with chainsaws.
When they came out there was discussion over what to do next, which succeeded in leading West and George into a lively argument about if Ferris wheels were actually “good” or not. George had just finished stating his theory that they were only fun if you were on a date or in a relationship (otherwise, in his opinion, they were boring as hell and there was way too much time spent just idling in the air) when West turned to him with a shit-eating grin and said “It’s funny you should say that, because look who’s here.”
They all followed West’s line of sight to where Jane Fairfax was standing at the custom airbrushed t-shirt booth with some of her friends. George’s eyes widened and he blushed a bit, stuffing his hands in his pockets and hunching his shoulders in an apparent attempt to disappear.
“Go talk to her, we’ll wait,” said West.
George locked eyes with Emma and then quickly looked away. “I’m not doing that. You’ll all be watching and it will be weird.”
“That’s fine,” said Annie, “Because she’s coming over right now.”
"Shit."
“Hey,” came Jane’s sweet voice.
George blushed even more and turned to her. “Hey.”
The rest of the group looked at each other and wordlessly dispersed. West pulled Annie away to the Ferris wheel while Emma went with Rob and Harriet to a bank of prize-winning games. She and Harriet tried their hand at a round of ring toss before watching Rob attempt to throw a series of balls into some complicated hoops. He missed every time.
Emma whispered to Harriet, “Does Rob know you were, like, a fastpitch softball champion in high school?”
“Shhh,” said Harriet, “He really wants to win me that pink bear.”
They both chuckled and Emma relaxed. She looked around the fair, savoring the colors and lights and the exciting feeling of the night air. Then her eyes landed on George, who was still talking to Jane. They were smiling and laughing and Jane touched his arm playfully. Suddenly, Emma felt like she’d had more than enough of the Carnival.
“Hey Harriet, I think I’m going to go home.”
“Oh no really?”
“Yeah, I have a headache.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Emma was about to say that she would be fine, that campus was only a fifteen minute walk away, when George appeared and looked mildly concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Emma feels tired and wants to go,” answered Harriet.
He nodded and turned to Emma. “I’ll take you home.”
“No you - ”
“It’s fine,” he said, smiling, “I was getting tired too.”
Resistance was futile. They said goodnight to Rob and Harriet and then made their way to the parking lot. George didn’t mention Jane on the way back and Emma was glad of it. He turned to her at one point and asked, “Are you hungry?”
“Yes.”
“Burritos? Chinese?”
“Yes.”
That made him laugh and Emma grinned. They stopped at a Mexican restaurant near the Highbury campus and got their burritos, along with a large amount of guacamole and chips. She didn't invite him in when they reached her apartment. But she didn’t have to - he turned off the car and followed her in. It all felt natural and right like it always used to.
They settled on the couch in the living room and Emma took a bite of her steak burrito with immense relish. George watched her with a twinkle in his eye before Emma swatted him away. “I will not be judged in my own home.”
“I wasn’t judging you,” he laughed, “It’s fun to watch you eat.”
Emma got her laptop when they finished their food and George looked for something for them to watch. He settled on an early Hitchcock movie and they turned off the lights for more atmosphere. Emma noticed they had somehow migrated closer together on the couch, though the leather monstrosity she and Annie had bought off of Craigslist could easily fit three or more people. She felt an unnamed contentment as she found George’s arm around her and his hand casually on her knee.
But it did not last very long. When they were only ten minutes into the movie George’s phone buzzed and he glanced down at it, then promptly put it away.
Emma tensed a little when his arm wrapped around her waist again. “Was that Jane?”
George slouched down into the couch a little more and moved Emma’s legs so that they now rested in his lap. “Um, yeah.”
Emma turned back to the laptop. “Oh.”
He paused. “We talked about maybe hanging out tonight but - ”
“You should go,” said Emma.
She felt him watching her, but she couldn’t see him very well in the dark. “...Do you want me to go?,” he asked softly.
She shrugged. “If you want to hang out with her, you should.”
He was quiet for a bit, then she felt his hands on her thighs. “Okay,” he said, as he moved her off his lap gently and stood from the couch. They cleaned up the remnants of their meal and Emma walked him to the door. George looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Then they shared an awkward hug and he was gone.
Emma sat back on the couch and stared at the paused image of the movie they had been watching. You should go. Why did she say that? She hadn’t wanted him to go. They had just spent several hours together, yet she already missed him so much.
Oh.
Emma stood up and walked into her room, then back into the living room. Then she walked into the kitchen and ate the rest of the guacamole. Afterwards she sat back on the couch and stared at her phone for probably five minutes. Then, finally, she picked it up.
Emma Woodhouse at 9:02 PM:
Can you come back?
GK at 9:02 PM:
Are you okay?
Emma Woodhouse at 9:03 PM:
I’m fine, I just wanted to talk about something
GK at 9:03 PM:
Is it important? Do you want to call?
GK at 9:03 PM:
I’m in my car outside Jane’s apartment
Emma swallowed back some creeping tears. Is it important. This was a terrible idea. Maybe the worst she’d ever had. She put her phone down for a few minutes and tried to do other things. She washed a few dishes and took some deep breaths. She could wait to talk about this. But then she imagined the way George was kissing Jane at Harriet’s party and she knew she couldn’t wait. It was eating her up.
Emma Woodhouse at 9:15 PM:
I have a crush on you
Emma Woodhouse at 9:15 PM:
I want to try dating
Emma Woodhouse at 9:16 PM:
If you want that too
He didn’t answer for a long time and Emma was sure he hadn’t seen the messages at all. He was probably going down on Jane or something.
Then, just as she was starting to get ready for bed, a reply came:
GK at 9:45 PM:
By dating, do you mean you want to be in a relationship?
She couldn’t type back fast enough.
Emma Woodhouse at 9:46 PM:
Yes
She stared at her phone and watched as George began to type, then stopped. He was quiet again for another long while and Emma was sure she had ruined everything. I’m so stupid, she thought to herself. She was considering what sad music to cry herself to sleep to when he finally texted back.
GK at 10:15 PM:
Can we talk about this in person tomorrow?
GK at 10:15 PM:
There’s just a lot to think about, for me
GK at 10:16 PM:
Is that okay?
GK at 10:16 PM:
I’m sorry
GK at 10:17 PM:
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear right now
Emma Woodhouse at 10:17 PM:
Of course, that’s fine
GK at 10:19 PM:
Thank you
GK at 10:20 PM:
I’ll text you tomorrow?
Emma Woodhouse at 10:20 PM:
Yes
Emma didn’t feel worse - but she didn’t necessarily feel better. If anything, it felt like her inevitable heartbreak was only being delayed. She turned off her phone, took two mint-flavored melatonin tablets, and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.