Chapter Text
**Interlude- First Year**
The Sorting Ceremony was always a memorable event, but especially for those included in it.
Bruce was very nearly the first of his year to be Sorted, his thoughts kept wandering. To his parents, to what he'd read so far in the books he'd had to buy for school, to the fact that he was an *actual* wizard, to the conversation he'd listened to and occasionally taken part in in the train to Hogwarts. All his thoughts were swirling around so fast in his head that the first time the Deputy Headmistress; Bruce had gotten distracted and didn't know her name, had called his name he'd just stood there.
"Robert Banner." The Deputy Headmistress called again, and this time Bruce was snapped back to the present.
He glanced around, feeling the weight of all eyes in the Hall on him, then hurried forwards to the Sorting Hat, head bowed and cheeks flaming. The Deputy Headmistress placed the hat on his head and immediately Bruce was in darkness as the hat fell over his eyes.
A voice sounded in his head, making Bruce jump.
'Hello, young master Banner.' The foreign voice said, and Bruce decided it must be the hat. 'Why, it seems like only yesterday it was your father I was Sorting. Ah, how quickly time passes. But this is about you, what house are you going to be in?'
"R- Ravenclaw," Bruce told it immediately.
'Ravenclaw,' the hat mused. 'Yes, that makes sense. You're certainly intelligent enough for it. Why do you say so?'
Bruce swallowed twice but before he could answer, the hat continued.
'Oh, it's because of your father, isn't it? Well, such loyalty is commendable. That's the kind of thing could put you in Hufflepuff.'
"No!" Bruce squeaked, "I have to be in Ravenclaw!"
The hat seemed to sigh, 'very well, it is up to you, in the end.'
The voice then left his head.
"RAVENCLAW!" It hollered, and the hat was pulled from Bruce's head.
The Deputy Headmistress pushed him in the direction of a table full of students wearing sapphire and bronze striped ties.
***
"James Barnes!"
Bucky took his place on the stool.
'Hmm... this is a conflict,' the hat mused. 'Slytherin or Hufflepuff... you're torn in two directions, aren't you, young man?'
Bucky shifted, a little uncomfortably. "Don't know what you mean." He muttered.
'Don't pretend you don't know,' the hat told him. The voice retreated from his head and Bucky guessed it must be considering what to do.
'Yes, I think Hufflepuff would be best for you.' The hat said eventually.
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
Bucky was sent over to a table with students wearing colours of canary yellow and black, still puzzling over why the hat had had such difficulty sorting him.
***
"Clinton Barton!"
Clint stepped forwards jauntily, wearing a cocky grin. Professor Hill glared at him half-heartedly before dropping the hat on his head.
'Clint Barton... I've not sorted a Barton before. Muggleborn, are you?'
"Yup."
'Well then, boy, what house do you think is for you?' The hat asked.
"Gryffindor," Clint answered. "I'm brave."
'I can tell,' the hat said. 'But is that all you are? I would agree with your thoughts that you are not a Hufflepuff. You are smart, I'm sure Ravenclaw would accept you. You're not short of cunning, Slytherin could make you more ambitious.'
"I don't think so." Clint said. "That doesn't feel right."
Clint was sure the hat would have shrugged if it could.
'Your decision is final,' the hat said.
"GRYFFINDOR!" It shouted, and Clint quickly found himself being pushed towards the table with the scarlet and gold banners.
***
A few names later and it was Peggy's turn.
"Margaret Carter!"
Was that a hint of fondness Peggy caught in Professor Hill's eyes?
'Hello, Miss Carter.' The hat said.
"Hello," she replied politely.
'Another muggleborn,' the hat noted. 'You're getting more and more common.' It told her. 'But anyway, onto matters of more importance. Which house for you, hmm? All this ambition, you'd fit in well over at the Slytherin table. But I think we both know where you really belong.' The hat said, and Peggy agreed.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
And Peggy sat at the table with the lion banners, next to another first year. She thought his name had been Clinton.
***
"Jane Foster!"
Jane hurried forwards, and no sooner had the hat been placed on her head than it was yelling:
"RAVENCLAW!"
Smiling to herself, Jane trotted over to the table with the eagle on their banners, next to the quiet boy, was his name Robert?
***
Darcy was next, she practically skipped to the hat.
'Good evening, Miss Lewis.' The hat said, 'let's see, which house for you? Hufflepuff... now, that would seem like the obvious choice, and I'm sure most people would put you there. But really, you're a very smart girl.'
"Thanks," Darcy chirped. "So what house?"
The hat would have smiled, had it been able.
"RAVENCLAW!"
Darcy cheered a little herself as, beaming, she took her place next to Jane.
***
"Loki Odinson!"
Loki strode forwards, still looking bored as he took his place on the stool; he knew what house he would go into.
'Straight to business?' The hat asked, 'yes, that would be best, I have a lot more students to sort. Let me see, oh, very intelligent. Ravenclaw would really make something of you, but... yes yes, I can see what you're thinking.'
"SLYTHERIN!" The hat roared, and Loki didn't need any guidance as he walked to the table decorated with emerald and silver.
***
"Thor Odinson!" Professor Hill called, and he wasted no time in stepping forwards.
'Ah, hello, Mr Odinson. I was wondering when there would be another pureblood.' The hat said conversationally.
Thor frowned, "what do you mean? You just sorted my brother: Loki."
'Yes...' the hat said slowly. 'Indeed, well, onto your Sorting. The loyalty to your father and family is telling of a Hufflepuff. But you have a brave and daring nature, one that would flourish in Gryffindor... hmm, perhaps to much.'
"What do you mean?" Thor questioned.
'I am sure you will find out sooner later,' the hat assured him. 'Now, on your way.'
"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat shouted and Thor sat next to another first year at his new house's table, he was called James, if Thor remembered.
***
"Virginia Potts!"
Pepper stepped neatly forwards.
The hat had barely touched her head when it yelled:
"RAVENCLAW!"
Pepper took her seat at the Ravenclaw table next to the three of the other first years that sat there.
***
"James Rhodes," Professor Hill called.
Rhodey marched to the stool and took a seat, his sorting took a little deliberation from the hat; but it didn't take long to make a decision.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Rhodey went and took his place at quite possibly the loudest table in the Hall.
***
"Steven Rogers!"
Steve took a seat, determined not to show how nervous he felt.
'Hello, Mr Rogers.' The hat said, Steve wondered if it was so polite to everybody.
"Hello," Steve replied, the manners his mother had drilled into him still present.
'What house is for you?' The hat asked, and Steve couldn't help but feel a little surprised; he'd been under the impression students were simply told their house.
"Err, Gryffindor...?" Steve said hesitantly.
'Are you sure about that?' The hat asked, it sounded amused. 'I see almost overwhelming ambition here. You would do well in Slytherin.'
"But everyone says that's the bad house," Steve protested.
'Nothing is perfect, Mr Rogers, you would do well to remember it. And in any case, I believe that you could be exactly what Slytherin needs.'
"Excuse me?"
'I don't usually do this,' the hat confided. 'But I'm going to tell you something, and you cannot repeat it.'
"Yes... sir." Steve said dubiously.
'Very well. Slytherin has a reputation for breeding dark wizards, it's true. But, with a boy you like you, Slytherin could work towards being accepted again.'
Steve was silent. "Are you sure?"
'I'm certain.' The hat replied. 'Have you decided?'
Steve had.
"SLYTHERIN!" The hat bellowed, and Steve went and sat at his new house's table, uncertain of quite how to feel.
***
"Natasha Romanoff!" Professor Hill announced, and Natasha stepped forwards gracefully.
'Natalia Romanova,' the hat said at once. 'Wouldn't you have been better suited to the Durmstrang Academy?'
"Not anymore," Natasha said bluntly.
'Indeed,' the hat mused. 'Well, I shan't waste either of our time.'
"SLYTHERIN!"
Natasha sat next to the blonde boy, Steven, who smiled at her nervously, she smiled back.
***
"Anthony Stark!" Professor Hill called, sounding slightly pained; she'd known Howard Stark when they were children, if the son was anything like the father she may retire.
Tony swaggered forwards, smug smile already in place.
'Ah, hello, young Stark. What house is for you? Slytherin, like you your father? Or perhaps Hufflepuff, like your mother?' The hat asked, generations of Stark family Sortings returning to its mind.
"I think we both know Slytherin is the only house that will actually get me anywhere." Tony said arrogantly, and the hat was inclined to agree.
'It's nice to see you carrying on family traditions.' The hat told him.
"SLYTHERIN!"
Tony sat next to Steve Rogers at the Slytherin table, perfectly aware that this was the boy his father thought the world of, but also perfectly happy to simply ignore him until it was impossible.
***
"Samuel Wilson!" He was one of the last students, but Professor Hill's voice was still going strong.
Sam stepped up and sat on the stool.
'Hmm, which house for you? The hat pondered, and Sam took that opportunity to offer his thoughts.
"One of the cool ones," Sam said eagerly. "Like Gryffindor!"
'Really?' The hat asked. 'I see loyalty here, an abundance of it. And a large heart. It seems to me that you would be best suited to Hufflepuff.'
Sam thought for a moment, "is that a cool house?" He asked.
The hat didn't quite know how to answer. 'All of the houses are... 'cool'.'
"But which is the best?" Sam asked.
'There isn't one best house,' the hat told the boy, chuckling. 'There is just one that is best suited to you.'
"And you think for me that's Hufflepuff."
'Yes,' the hat confirmed.
"Then that one," Sam said happily.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat declared and Sam nearly ran to his house's table.
**Present- Fifth Year**
"Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Wake up. C'mon, get up."
"I'm already up," Steve hissed. "Be quiet, Tony."
Tony pouted at him, "well make it obvious next time."
"Sure, sure." Steve muttered. "Loki up?"
"He has been for ages." Tony said. "He's waiting now. Huuurrry uuup." He whined, and Steve raised an eyebrow at him.
"Why don't you go see if Loki needs help with anything?" He suggested, Tony nodded reluctantly and headed to the common room.
Steve quickly slipped into some muggle clothes; t-shirt, jeans, sneakers and a blue hoodie, then followed Tony's steps out of the dorm.
"We all set?" Steve asked, looking from Loki to Tony.
"Yes," Loki said irritably. "Everything is prepared. And if you'd been more awake then we could have done it by now."
"Loki," Tony muttered and his friend glanced at him.
"Let's just go," Loki said shortly- not apologising, but not saying anything worse either.
"Don't know what's up with him lately," Tony confided in Steve as they followed Loki out of the their common room and through the dungeons.
"Thor's worried about him too," Steve said. "He just refuses to show it."
Loki looked over his shoulder at the two, "could you two not whisper behind my back? It's rather distracting."
"I was just telling Steve some of what me and Pepper did over the holidays," Tony said, and when he received disbelieving looks from both his friends, shook his head as if in disapproval.
"I *meant*, we went to see the Quidditch World Cup together. My parents actually managed to organise so that we could be a few of the teams, obviously they didn't care enough to show themselves but..." Tony happily continued telling Steve and Loki anecdote after anecdote about his summer with Pepper, until Loki put a hand over his mouth and dragged him into the shadows with Steve trailing after.
Tony prised Loki's hand away from his mouth and smirked, "I have a girlfriend, Loki."
"No, moron," Loki hissed. "There's a teacher! Now keep quiet for once."
The three young men held their breath as the teacher walked by their shadowy hiding place, as the light from the wand grew nearer, they could make out the stern features of Professor May. Her eyes swept the area and narrowed at the corner the boys were standing in, for a long moment it seemed like she was going to investigate. But the she muttered something about late night patrols being a stupid idea and strode down the corridor.
The boys exhaled slowly and, once they were absolutely sure no more teachers were lurking in the shadows, they continued along the corridors, up the staircases and to the portrait of the Fat Lady.
She was sleeping, snoring loudly in fact. Loki cleared his throat impatiently and she awoke with a jump.
"Oh my! You shouldn't sneak up on a lady like that! Especially at this time of night."
The pictures around them started to wake, and with that grumble and glare at the three students.
"Now," the Fat Lady said, peering at the boys. "You're not Gryffindors, what are you doing here?"
"Rugitus leonis." Loki said with a triumphant grin, "now you have to let us in."
The Fat Lady looked very troubled about it, fiddling with her hair and huffing a lot, but the picture swung sideways.
"This is the last time," she warned them, and the three grinned at each other; she said that at least twenty times each year.
"How did you know that?" Steve asked as he stepped into Gryffindor's common room.
Loki smirked and crossed his arms, "I have my ways."
Tony glanced around as he followed Steve in, "where's Tasha?"
"Right here," Natasha said, lounging in the flickering light of the fire. "Nice of you three to finally turn up."
***
Clint scurried back to Peggy and Rhodey.
"Okay," he whispered. "The other Slytherins have showed up now. I think there's only four of them... maybe five."
Peggy nodded, "did you hear any information that tells us what they're doing?"
Clint shook his head, "naw. Just the voices. Shouldn't'a sent me if you wanted all the gossip." He said with a grin.
"So what are we gonna do?" Rhodey asked.
"Wait until they've done whatever they set out to do and then catch 'em in the act?" Clint suggested.
"Or we could go down there right now," Peggy countered. "Hill and Coulson are going to get pretty angry when they realise a prank happened on the *first* night."
"I think Coulson'll be fine," Clint shrugged and looked to Rhodey. "Up to you, man."
Rhodey thought for a few seconds, "let's go with Clint's plan." He decided. "We're Prefects," he said to Peggy, and a hint of mischief lit up his dark eyes. "We could dock them a few points before the year's started."
"Uh," Clint cleared his throat. "Not be a downer but I think that two of the Slytherin Prefects are actually in our common room right now."
"Wait. Is *Steve* there?" Peggy asked incredulously.
"It would make sense," Clint admitted, not quite looking her in the eye. "I mean, he was one of the people I saw talkin' 'bout it earlier."
Peggy continued to look somewhat shocked, so Clint added:
"Your boyfriend gets up to this kind of thing a lot, ya know?" He said, "'specially when Bucky tells him not to."
Instead of looking angry, or even mildly annoyed, Peggy looked quite amused.
"You can tell me about it later," she said to Clint. "Right now we've got to make a plan for when we go down there." Peggy said, a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.
***
The four Slytherins stepped back and admired their handy work.
"Clint's not going to be impressed," Natasha murmured, smirking privately.
"Neither's Peggy," Steve mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Rhodey's going to chase me into the Forbidden Forest." Tony predicted.
"They're all going to hex me." Loki said flatly, and the four looked at each other.
The friends immediately broke out into poorly hushed laughter, converging in a small group to lean on each other.
"Aha! We've caught you in the act! Now you sha- holy shit! Did you guys do *all* that? We left you here for, like, fifteen minutes! Tops!"
Clint started out confident, his voice then fading to something resembling awe and barely concealed annoyance.
"What did they do?" They heard Rhodey call, then they heard him swear.
"Peggy is gonna hex you so bad."
"Why would I do tha- *what* have you done?!" Peggy exclaimed, the last of the Gryffindor trio to enter the common room.
Or what had been the Gryffindor common room.
It had been changed to an alien environment, so much so that the Gryffindors felt intruders on their own territory. The Gryffindor banners that had hung from the wall had been altered to Slytherin's. All the reds in the room had been switched to green and the gold to silver. Not only that, but even the flames of the roaring fire were green and silver (Natasha's personal touch) and, written in ethereal writing above it the words:
'YOUR MOVE, GRYFFINDOR. GOOD LUCK: YOU'LL NEED IT.'
"I don't see why everyone's so fussed about this," Peggy said eventually, after complete silence for four minutes as the stricken Gryffindors observed their common room.
"This shouldn't be difficult to remove and undo."
Loki smirked, some superior knowledge known only to him making itself evident.
"Yes, well, anyway," Tony said brightly, clapping Steve and Loki on the shoulder.
"It's late and we have classes tomorrow, lovely as this visit has been, we'll have to be ambivalent toward you and leave you."
The Slytherins disappeared from the common room before any of the Gryffindors could protest.
"Uh, guys," Clint said nervously.
Rhodey and Peggy glanced at him, "yeah?"
"I don't think this is all..." Said Clint, drawing their attention to yet more glowing writing that had appeared on the floor.
'ENJOY YOUR SURPRISE'
The Gryffindors were still finding grass snakes in their common room and dorms weeks after the incident.