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Ami yawned and rubbed her eyes. She distractedly looked at the computer clock and startled when she saw it was past 11 pm already. She often lost track of time when she perused the net like this to gather information on myths and legends pertaining to the Moon and the planets of the solar system in the hope of finding clues as to their powers – thankfully, she only allowed herself such research when her mother worked at night and wouldn't worry about her.
Ami closed the web browser and shut down the computer. As new as it was – and she still hadn't been able to make Luna confess how she'd gotten it – it still took a long time to shut down properly, especially when she'd been using it for a long time. She didn't want to leave before it was completely off, since Luna had made a scene once when she'd started it and it had displayed a blue screen of death, so she started to clean the room a little, put things back on their shelves, wash a glass someone had left on the counter island, turn of the lights, push the chairs back under the moon table. Usagi would have made fun of her if she'd been here – “but we're gonna pull them back again tomorrow, Ami-chan!” – but ordering things made her feel more comfortable.
Usagi, Makoto and Rei had gone to see a musical about Sailor V, and Luna had even accompanied them. Ami had been surprised Rei had gone at all, but then, she thought with a smile, perhaps she'd been hoping to see Aino-san. Ami was convinced Rei didn't hate the idol half as much as she claimed.
Luna's computer shut down with a sigh, and Ami put her coat over her arm, ready to leave, when she startled at the sight of the silhouette in the door frame. A man was standing in the shade of the landing, and she was downright scared for a moment, until she recognized the spiky hair and the apron. It was Nephikichi, the Crown's new employee. He'd been working there for about two weeks as a live-in employee, Motoki-kun had explained, and implied that he'd found him living in the street. Despite his bad temper, she'd had an instinctive liking for him.
“Hi”, she said tentatively. She couldn't really see his face, until he stepped forward and let the door close. “Was there something you wanted?” she asked as politely as she could.
“Just to watch you.” he said brusquely and almost regretfully. “I'm sorry,” he added immediately, “that sounded creepy. I didn't mean to scare you. I don't want to scare you.”
Ami realised that at this time, they were probably among the last in the Crown, and although a little voice told her she should be scared to be alone with him, strangely, she felt safe. He was the one who must feel alone, she realised.
“You didn't scare me. Why don't you come down to talk for a moment?” and she put her coat back on the hook and sat down. He walked down the stairs almost hesitantly. He mustn't be used to being in the rooms along with the customers. And then, it dawned on her that he shouldn't have been able to get in at all. Luna had charmed the room so that it was only accessible to the senshi – somehow, Nephikichi wasn't fully human.
Nephikichi untied his apron and hung it too, before taking a seat across from Ami.
“I'll makes us cocoa,” Ami offered, getting up almost immediately to go to the bar. “So, are you... liking your job here?”
“It's... interesting.” he said totally unconvincingly. “It's strange, so... ordinary.”
They kept quiet for a moment. Ami tried to tone down the smile that had crept on her face minutes before as she put down the mug of hot cocoa in front of Nephikichi and took the chair in front of him.
“You're alone.” he said as he wrapped his hands around the mug as if to warm up.
“I am. My friends went to see Sailor V, the musical.”
Nephikichi snickered. “Why didn't you go with them?”
“I... don't really see the point of getting squished by over-excited teenage girls while listening to obnoxious music.”
“Stupid humans.”
Nephikichi looked angry, as usual, his brow furrowed, but he did not look angry at her.
“I'm Ami, by the way.”
“I know. … I’m Nephrite.”
She gasped. “I know...”
“You do?” he asked, as surprised as she was.
“I... I do. I don't... I didn't... remember. But now I do.”
“I wasn't sure you would.”
They sat in silence as they sipped their hot drinks.
“Why aren't you scared?” he said.
“Should I be?”
“I tried to kill you.”
“In the past.”
His hand gripped the mug so strongly that she feared for a moment that he would break it.
“I... am still... dangerous. I could kill you now!” he shouted, rising.
“I don't doubt it.” she said and for a moment she was really scared. “I'm dangerous too.”
He snickered again. Her expression became serious and she stood up and lifted her sleeve, showing her bracelet.
“Don't believe me?”
The look of fright on his face was unmistakeable. He must feel so helpless, Ami thought.
“Will you?” she added.
“What?”
“Do you want to kill me now?”
“... No.” he sat down again, and so did she.
“You're only dangerous if I’m... your enemy, right?”
“Are you my enemy?”
“I... don't want to be.” She smiled. “If that's alright.”
He nodded.
“Do you miss it, there? The Dark Kingdom?”
“Yes. Every minute of every day.”
She was surprised and a little bit concerned.
“I thought... from what I remember, you didn't look very happy there.”
“Yeah, and I look so well-integrated and joyful here, right?”
She shook her head. “Not really,” she admitted. “But here... people are different. Why would you want to go back there?”
His eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Because all the people I've known in my life live there?”
“Oh. I'd always imagined the Dark Kingdom was a recent creation. What with the youma attacks starting only recently... You can't have lived there all those years, surely you didn't grow up in a cave?”
Although, she didn't say it out loud, it would explain his bad temper...
“If there was something before, I don't remember. I only remember Queen Beryl-sama awakening me and Jadeite,” and there was a shadow of a smile that on him revealed much deeper feelings. Gratitude, devotion. Love.
Ami reached for his hand but he grasped hers brusquely. She was afraid she'd offended him, until she realized Nephrite was looking at it, holding it firmly but gently, first palm down, then up.
“Beryl-sama, she wasn't like you. Her hands... you have beautiful hands. Pretty and small, and cute... nails.”
She grinned at the most awkward compliment she'd heard on her whole life. She wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about her, but she asked anyway:
“What was she like?”
“She had beautiful hands. Strong, elegant hand. She had those long red nails... when she stroke your cheek, they felt cool on your skin. When she was angry...” he stammered to a stop, his hand clenching around hers, the hint of a blush on his cheeks, his eyes rolling under his furrowed brow, as if looking for an escape. So much repressed feelings, she didn't know how he could stand it.
“Your eyes are like hers,” Nephrite added.
“Eh?”
“She had dark brown eyes, like you. But... I don't understand. They're like hers, but they're not. Your eyes are... soft. Kind. Everything about you seems kind. I don't understand how you can be the same and different. She was strong, she was demanding.”
“I'm not all soft and kind.” she said bitterly. “I think we've had a proof of that.”
He shook his head. “I know what Kunzite's done. He didn't awaken the darkness in you: he put it there. You might feel bad, you probably do, but I know it wasn't you. And yet your eyes are brown, like hers...”
It really seemed to bother him. “You'd better get used to it,” she said jokingly, “cause you're going to see a lot of brown eyes now that you live amongst humans, especially here in Tokyo. Even yours are.”
He hung his head low.
“Are you... ashamed of it?” Ami suddenly realize. Nephrite didn't move or say a thing. “Eye colour doesn't mean anything. Asian people all have brown eyes for historical and genetic reasons.”
“It does, it did, I think. I...” he clutched his head in pain. “I seem to remember something... eye colour is significant for sorcerers...” He was holding his head in both hands now and Ami stood up and crouched next to him.
“Nephrite? Are you all right?”
He stopped cringing and looked at her. His eyes were watery. “I must stop remembering. There's no use.”
“It's a spell.” she realized. “Kunzite did the same to me when I was there, to stop me from thinking about my actions.”
“It's no use.” Nephrite repeated as if he hadn't heard her. “I'm just human. There's no use in thinking about it. I should look forward, like the Master said.”
Ami took note to talk about it later, Nephrite's current distress being more important.
“Do you regret being human?”
He looked at her, still crouching next to him, as if thinking how to word it. “I'd rather be dead.” was what he came up with. Ami looked a bit hurt. She stared a moment at the floor, before looking him in the eyes.
“I'm glad you're not.” She sat in the next chair to be at eye-level with him. “I mean it.”
Nephrite looked puzzled. “Why? Why would you care?”
But sometimes, even she couldn't put her feelings into words. She didn't know why. She just felt it.
Nephrite went on, “You, remembering, it makes it a little worth it. It's like I’m not completely dead. You were alone...”
Then she understood why he'd come to her that night. He'd been alone, like her, not only in his lack of companionship, but in his unique status. He'd lost all that made him, he had no way of going home. Ami was his only connexion to the Dark Kingdom, to the part of him that made him unique, great, powerful. She saved Nephrite, saved him from being human, from being just Nephikichi the cleaner.
She was pretty sure she could cope with losing her powers some day, because she'd grown up human and had enjoyed it for 14 years, but for someone whose whole life had revolved around powerful magic, the experience must have been traumatic. He'd lost all when Beryl had killed him: his powers, his companions, his love.
“What would you have done if I hadn't remembered?” Ami asked, fearing the answer.
“I'm not sure I would have stayed.”
Cold seized her heart. She knew all he implied by it – she'd considered it too after reverting to normal, when she'd thought her former friends would never take her back in. She remembered planning to get Usagi-chan to safety, and then... then she wouldn't be needed any more.
Ami took Nephrite's hand in her own. He had very warm hands, she'd already noticed, perhaps residual magical energy. She pressed it.
“I'm not alone. You're not alone. You and I... we have something together. You saved my life. I want you to stay. I know it must be terribly hard for you but... you remembering? It helps me too.” It did, she understood now. Nephrite was as mush her anchor as she was his.
Her left hand moved slowly of its own accord to Nephrite's cheek, and his eyes never left hers while it did. When she touched his face fully – and goodness was it hot too – he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch hungrily, and Ami thought – did someone ever touch him like this? Was he ever hugged, kissed?
How did he make it this far?
He was breathing heavily, and she stroked his cheek with her thumb. Her right hand joined the other to frame his face and he rested his hands on her arms.
“Is this alright?” she asked, stroking the mole on his face with her thumb. He didn't reply, but tugged at her arms slightly, perhaps unconsciously. “Is this what you want?”
She knew that he wouldn't move, wouldn't take the initiative, because he was so full of energy, anger, passion, that he seemed afraid to lose control over it. She thought about it for a moment, before moving to sit on his lap. When he opened his eyes, wide brown eyes, their faces were centimetres apart.
Ami's heart beat fast in her chest. She had absolutely no experience with boys, not even holding hand, and somewhere deep inside she was afraid she was going to make a fool of herself. But closer to the surface was the realization that he didn't know any better – and she really hoped he didn't, because whatever experience of love or sex he might have had in the Dark Kingdom couldn't have been a positive one.
She was murmuring soothingly as she caressed his face, and he closed his eyes again, and his arms wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer. He buried his head in her neck, hiding in her hair, breathing in her smell, and her hands slid to his back, rubbing it in circles. His hair was soft under her cheek. She thought of the red flaming hair he'd been sporting back then, and she thought regretfully that she'd never know what it felt like.
She felt better than she ever had. She'd never realized how much she needed this until she had it: this was nothing like her mother's tender embrace, Usagi-chan's crazy hugs, or Mako-chan's arm protectively wrapped around her shoulder. This, this was unique. He made her stronger, and she gave him something that he needed too, and she wondered if she would ever get bored of his warm embrace.
“Thank you.” he said in a clipped tone and drew backwards a little.
“I want more,” she said before she realized what she meant, and she lifted his face a little until they were eye-to-eye again, and she waited. She found it ironical that she should be afraid of going too fast, but she didn't think dating norms applied to either of them, so she waited for him, and she didn't wait long.
Nephrite caressed the back of her head, his fingers sliding through her hair. He lifted his face half-way, pulled her down a little and within a matter of seconds they were kissing. It felt like Ami's heartbeat had doubled, and she wondered how she could feel everything at the same time – the softness of his lips, his hand on her hip, the other on her head, her hand on his head – and she forced herself to release the tight grip she had on his hair – and how could she have been disgusted at the idea of kissing a boy before? She felt like she was melting right through the kiss. Their breath had quickened, and when she opened her mouth to lick his lips tentatively, and their tongue met, she believed she was having a heart attack. Surely no one could survive such a surge of happiness?
Her beeping watch interrupted them. She was confused and it took her a moment to understand what was going on. Nephrite was resting his forehead on her shoulder, stroking her hip in a calming gesture.
“It's midnight.” she explained. “I've got to go home, my mom'll be back soon...”
“I understand.” Nephrite smoothed her shirt a little from where he'd wrapped his hands in it.
“I really would like to stay but...”
“I understand. It's all right. There's plenty of time.” and he looked like he meant it. For the first time, he looked peaceful, content. Ami smiled at the realization that she had made this.
“I'll be here tomorrow,” she added, getting up, “and the days after that.” She was pretty sure he knew already, but she couldn't stop talking as she put her coat on.
“Is it a long way?” he asked. “If you can wait a few minutes while I close the shop, I could walk you home. I don't like you walking home alone at this time.”
Ami almost replied she could defend herself, but that wasn't the point. She remembered the experience with the policeman a few weeks ago, and if she needed an excuse other than being with Nephrite, she could always resort to it. She nodded her assent.
When they walked out of the Crown moments later, hand in hand, they looked like just any normal couple. Nephrite had never liked normal so much before.