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They’re fourteen when Garou breaks his nose. They’d been arguing for something –Badd doesn’t even remember what- and everything grows to throwing punches. It isn’t the first time, but something feels off about Garou, he’s angrier, more violent than usual. Badd hadn’t been hitting with real heat, and maybe that’s why it surprises him that Garou had. It’s a shock to hear the crack in his nose.
Bang finds them. Badd’s shirt is soaking wet in blood, and Garou stares furiously at him from across the field. They end up in the hospital, there’s a new radiography for Badd and an awkward moment to fix the bone.
The next morning Badd’s sporting a bruise that covers half his face. It gives him the respect from all the other boys in class, and pity from the girls. When the classes are over, Garou takes him to a lonely corner and apologies to him. Badd breaks his upper lip and calls it quits.
Two weeks later the accident happens. They are in Garou’s room, Badd’s with his feet dangling from the bed when Bang appears in the threshold. The old man speaks to him in the softest way possible. It’s not enough.
Badd has Zenko’s hand in his and Garou in his other side when the coffin starts to be lowered to the ground. His face still hurts, the bruise hasn’t disappeared, and Badd thinks how time goes so fast, how life is just unfair.
*
When he’s sixteen Garou invites him to a rock concert in the industrial park abandoned. Badd doesn’t want to go, because he can’t leave Zenko alone and there are just some things that he can’t allow to himself anymore. But Bang convinces him, and promises to take care of the girl for the night. Zenko adores the bunch of stories Bang tells her, so Badd supposes is fine to agree.
In the middle of the concert a guy bumps against Badd and his beer falls to the floor. Everybody around is wasted and the beer guy even more, so is no surprise when he tries to make a brawl out of it. Garou intervenes just like the guy’s friends, and the fight erupts.
Security throws them out, and Badd would feel angrier if wasn’t for the fact that the beer guy and company ended up worse than them, with bloody noses and cracked teeth. At his side Garou snorts, takes Badd’s arm and passes it around his neck, to help him walk.
On their way home Garou stops, then starts laughing, prompting Badd to do as well. Is a ridiculous fit of giggles, and is stupid. There’s no one in the street, and both boys have to support themselves in the wall nearby just to not fall on their faces, Garou’s hand resting above Badd’s shoulder. They’re thinking about those five fuckers and how they couldn’t even listen to their favorite band when Garou stops laughing and in the sudden quiet of the night, looks at Badd. When Garous kisses him Badd’s feeling the previous punch in this stomach, and the pain surprises him more than the kiss.
It lasts an instant, just a caress of lips, but Badd feels like there’s no air in his chest and Garou looks like he’s going to panic. So Badd takes him by the nape and closes the distance again, because is not fair that he couldn’t enjoy the first one. Then, Garou holds him by the hips and they’re kissing against the wall, in a desolated street in the mid of night. There are hands and gaps and Badd thinks about that time Garou broke his nose.
When they arrive to Badd’s place, Garou backs him up to the bed, where they lay for the rest of the night, the window open and its curtain dancing above them. Garou kisses him softly, his mouth, his cheek, his jaw. Badd tangles his fingers in the white hair, murmurs words upon wet lips. They fall asleep that way, holding each other.
*
The first time Garou gives him a blowjob is in the cinema, when they’re celebrating Badd’s seventieth birthday. The movie’s an old one, so there’s just another couple in the room besides them, seated five rows away. Garou kisses his neck, and rubs him between his legs when, without a word, goes on his knees and opens Badd’s zipper.
Badd wants to tell him to stop, what is he doing, but words die on his throat when Garou takes him deeper. The plot of the movie’s in his climax, action and explosions everywhere while the hero rescues the girl, but Badd couldn’t care less, not with Garou trying to take him whole, looking at him in the darkness, doing indescribable and cool things with his mouth in parts that his fourth grade teacher would call extremely private. Badd thinks that Garou can have total access to his most private parts if he’s going to lick him in such wonderful ways.
Garou’s rubbing his jaw by the end of the movie, a shitting grin on his face, whereas Badd tries to dissimulate that he just have the best orgasm of his life.
Three days later Badd corners Garou in the hallway, while Bang sleeps calmly in the room next door. And there’s something fun about having his revenge, but is even better having Garou’s hands buried in his hair, trying to not make noise, because the old man could wake up.
He ends with sore knees, but is all worth it to see Garou’s face when they drop to the ground.
*
They fight a lot. Most of the times, the fights end in punches, and almost always the punches lead to sex. Badd doesn’t want to analyze it, because discovering childhood traumas erupting in weird ways is not his kick. So he suits himself to enjoy the amazing sex and afterwards, when both of them are tired and drying, apologize for whatever they were fighting for.
The other times, the fights escalate to not having sex at all, and those are the ones that Badd hates the most. Because an angry Garou always raises his hackles, for better or for worse, so having him mad and being unable to do something about it frustrates the hell out of Badd. Of course, Garou being the son of a bitch that he is knows that and, when he really wants to fuck Badd up, he doesn’t let him approach.
Garou is turning twenty-four in two weeks when they have the worst fight ever, and Badd doesn’t even remember how it started.
They haven’t had sex in a whole week and Badd is really close to climb the walls in desperation. They’ve never being pissed at each other for so long, and it’s ridiculous, because they could have used all that time fucking like beasts in the elevator or the kitchen, but no. Garou’s fuking pissed like a bitch and completely ignores him, like they didn’t live together or anything.
Zenko gives a meaningful gaze to her brother after Garou leaves the table without talking or looking at Badd through dinner.
“What did you do?” she asks with narrowed eyes, her head resting on the palm of her hand.
“Nothing.”
“You two can’t be mad, it’s almost his birthday.”
“I know.”
“Then do something, Badd.”
“He’s not letting me!” he answers in a whisper that wants to be a shout. Zenko raise her eyebrow at him.
“And when that’s stopped you?”
She stands up, gives him a kiss on the cheek and wishes him goodnight.
Badd doesn’t have an idea about what to do, but understands that something must be done. So without a plan in mind he enters their bedroom, to run into Garou lying on his side of the bed with his back to Badd.
“If you are so angry at me then hit me on the face, pound me to the floor, but don’t stop talking to me.”
Garou doesn’t reply and Badd takes off his shirt and pants, with despair boiling in his chest. He gets into the bed and approaches until he touches Garou’s back and runs a hand over it.
“I’m sorry, Garou” he says softly, above his ear. “Please, don’t do this to me.”
“You’re an asshole, Badd.”
“I know love, I’m sorry.”
Garou turns around, facing him. He looks like someone who has been greatly offended and Badd, deep down, is afraid of losing him.
“You’re a son of a bitch,” he spits out annoyed, and Badd relaxes, because he can accept the insults and the blows, but not the indifference.
“You are a fucking bastard, too.”
Garou laughs, and then gives him a blow that takes some of the air out of him. The rest is blurred in Badd’s mind, but he just focuses on Garou, who’s burning with anger and who tumbles him in bed and makes him bite his mouth to keep from screaming. Perhaps is because it feels like an eternity since the last time they fucked, but Badd is delighted to have Garou once again between his legs, even if it seems like he wants to kill him.
The next morning he notices three new bruises and a bunch of bite marks that he doesn’t remember. Garou sleeps next to him, his arm thrown over Badd and his bread caressing his neck. And everything, almost magically, returns to normal.