Chapter Text
Dib hummed a cheerful tune to himself as he walked past the giant gnomes in Zim’s front lawn. Having been thwarted by those things one too many times in the past, they used to terrify him. They had always been the one deadly barrier between himself and his enemy’s secret base. Plus, he had never known when one might decide to activate. Even after their truce had started, Dib had spent the first week trying to sneak his way past them out of habit before knocking on the door.
However, he now paid them no mind as he walked peacefully past them and towards Zim’s front door. Somehow, he knew that they no longer recognized him as a threat, so after that first week, he became comfortable enough to try walking in their line of sight. He only hoped this kind treatment would continue after their truce came to an end.
As he approached the door, the thought of knocking didn’t even cross his mind. He turned the door knob to the right, pushed it open, and peaked his head through the crack. “Zim! I’m here!” He called out, familiarly.
Clearly caught off guard, Zim’s antennae popped up and his eyes widened in surprise from his spot on the couch. “Dib-human!!” Zim shouted as he turned his head towards his visitor. “You’re early!”
Dib walked the rest of the way in and shut the door behind himself. “Well, I didn’t have anything else to do, so-“
Before he could even finish his sentence, Zim jumped off the couch and struck a dramatic pose. “Behold!” He shouted. “My universal translator has returned to functioning at 100% capacity! It is, perhaps, even better than it at once was! Because I, THE MIGHTY ZIM, have fixed it! PRAISE ME!”
The first thing Dib noticed was that Zim’s accent had completely vanished. It took another few seconds for what Zim had actually said to sink in.
“...Oh.” Dib said, simply. He wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Oh?” Zim returned, dropping his dramatic stance in favor of a more put off one. “Are you not amazed by Zim’s technological competence?”
“Wha- no, that’s not it. I just, um...” Dib struggled to come up with the words. He had grown so used to their new routine that he had almost forgot about the possibility of Zim actually fixing his translator. “I’m just surprised, is all.” He decided.
Zim huffed. “Surprised?! Did you doubt I could accomplish a feat so simple?”
Dib, over his initial surprise at hearing the alien talk normally again, scoffed. “Simple, Huh? Is that why it took you a whole month to do it?” He teased, provoking an indignant gasp from the other.
“Wha-! Why you!” Zim stuttered, pointing an accusing finger at the human. “I’ll have you know that I accomplished in a month what would have taken a skilled Irken engineer years!” He left out the part about how an Irken engineer wouldn’t have even tried to fix the PAK, in favor of simply deleting it.
“Yeah, sure.” Dib said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Then, frowning, he added, “So... what? Doesn’t that mean all that time I spent teaching you English is useless now?”
Dib expected Zim to laugh, say yes, and mock Earth’s languages. What he didn’t expect was for the other to put a hand to his chin in thought and actually consider his question.
“No, I wouldn’t quite say that.” The Irken pondered, looking towards the ground. “On the contrary, learning your English was a great contribution towards my overall goal of repairing my PAK. Once I came to recognize the patterns embedded in your inferior language, as well as the differences and similarities between it and my own, I was able to translate the coding language of my original universal translator with ease. I then created and inserted a new, much cooler, program in its place!”
“Huh.” Dib considered. “I guess that makes sense.”
“ALSO!” Zim shrieked suddenly, causing Dib to jump. At the same time, a claw came out of the Irken’s PAK and placed a small flash drive into his hand. It almost resembled a USB chip. “Zim now can, eh, manually dis- disab... turn off! the universal translator.” He said with a nod.
Dib’s eyes widened. True to Zim’s claim, his accent was back and he returned to struggling with his word order. But why would he...?
Zim coughed awkwardly and returned the chip to its rightful place in his PAK. “If I am to one day rule this dirt planet, then I must come to fully understand its weaknesses in the form of its history, people, and culture. That is the true way of an Irken invader! I, Zim, being the best Irken invader alive, aim to fully understand its language as well.” He raised his ruby eyes to look up at the human fully. “It seems our lessons must continue.” He said, with a smile.
Dib grinned back at the invader. Now he understood. It appeared neither of them wanted their truce to come to an end. “Yeah, well don’t think I’ve given up on learning Irken! I still need to put a stop to your empire!” He shot back.
“Very well, human. I accept your challenge.”
A moment passed where both boys simply smiled at each other, neither willing to admit to their new found friendship, but knowing that the other felt the same. It was so starkly different than it was only a month before, when neither of them could even be in the same room without screaming or trying to kill the other.
Then, Dib suddenly remembered something.
“Wait a minute!” He said, breaking the moment of peace. “What about the bomb?!”
Zim, taken by surprise, cocked an eyebrow. “Huh? What bomb?” He questioned.
Dib gawked at the other. “You know! The bomb! The one you decided to put in the center of town to force me to help you?! That I have to translate a code for or else it’ll destroy the whole city?! It’s supposed to go off tomorrow and I still don’t know one of the words!”
“Ooooooh that bomb!” Zim recalled with a chuckle, as if he really had forgotten the whole thing. “If I recall correctly, the word you kept repeatedly asking me to translate for you is 
“
“Wait, what?” Dib asked, confused. “What’s a I still don’t understand what that means!”
“Oh? That’s odd...” Zim said, frowning. “The universal translator must be unable to find a singular word in your filthy language to translate it as. In other words, there is no direct translation.” Zim speculated.
“Ugh, then paraphrase it or something!” Dib groaned. Having been stuck on this word for over a week, he was more than frustrated, and rightfully so. If there was no direct translation in the first place, then no wonder he was unable to figure it out!
Zim considered this. “Hmm... If I were to put it into simpler terms, then I would say that it means... to admit to a defeat so incredible that you cannot show your face in public anymore!” He said, matter-of-factly. “Did your stupid brain comprehend that?”
Ignoring the insult, Dib quickly pulled out his notepad and flipped through the pages until he found the one he was looking for. “Then that means the phrase the bomb was repeating is... ‘The code to disarm me is to admit to a defeat so incredible that you cannot show you face in public anymore’?!” He read straight from his notes in disbelief. “Are you kidding me??”
“I assure you, earth-create, Zim does not kid!” Zim replied. “Quite impressive, eh? Only I could create such an incredible and very specific weapon!”
“Ugh, do I have to? Like, you didn’t really defeat me, did you? It was more of a mutual thing... I think.”
“I didn’t realize you were so eager to allow your dirty city to be destroyed.” Zim said, mockingly. “Oh well, it was nice knowing you, I guess. But not really!” He shrugged his shoulders and coyly turned away from the other, preparing to return to the lower levels of his base.
Dib quickly thought over his options, a pained expression on his face. “Nnnnnngh- wait!” He called, causing the other to turn around.
“I’m waiting!” Zim said cheerfully. The cocky bastard.
“Fine.” Dib gritted out. “I admit to , or whatever. You win.”
“Huh? I didn’t quite get that! One more time?” Zim pushed, sing-song voice only agitating Dib further.
“I really hate you, you know that right?”
Zim sighed. “Fine, fine. It’s good enough, I suppose.”
As he spoke, an arm emerged from his PAK and dropped a device into his hand. It looked like some sort of remote controller out of a cartoon. To top off the look, it had a big red button on its center and an antenna sticking out the top.
“Welp, here I go!” Zim said cheerfully as he pressed the button.
“NO, WAIT!” Dib cried out in protest, desperately reaching for the device. The button looked like a detonator of sorts, and he wouldn’t put it past Zim to accidentally blow up a city like it was nothing. However, a few seconds passed by without the sound of a giant boom, so Dib opened his eyes, which had been squeezed shut since Zim carelessly pressed the button.
“W-what happened?” Dib chocked out.
Suddenly, he heard a theme song begin to play from Zim’s television, signaling the beginning of an urgent news broadcast. He looked towards the TV and began to listen.
“Breaking news!” Said the anchorman. “The large bomb that has been threatening our city for just under a month now has suddenly and inexplicably disappeared!” Dibs jaw dropped open as the anchorman continued. “Unfortunately, the new found religion dedicated to worshiping the bomb now has nothing to worship! More on this at 6.” And the TV flashed off.
“Um... what just happened?” Dib asked slowly.
“Oh, yeah, that thing? It was just a hologram this whole time.” Zim replied, casually brushing it off with a wave of his hand.
Dib felt a little piece of him die inside. “A... a hologram?” He whispered in disbelief. “Really.”
“Well, DUH.” Zim said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “If I had the time to build a weapon like that, I would have just destroyed the city a long time ago, fool boy! You humans won’t touch anything as long as it has police tape surrounding it.”
Dib couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had spent an entire month panicking and researching, trying to save the city, and it had all been for nothing. “I... I hate you.” He reminded the other as he turned around and began to walk towards the door. “I’m leaving.”
Just as he was about the open the door and leave, Zim called out to stop him. “Wait a second! That’s not all!” He called, stopping Dib in his tracks.
He turned around. “Really?! There’s more?!” Dib cried, internally begging for an end to his misery.
However, his expression quickly shifted from misery to surprise as Zim
Shoved something towards his face. He flinched back, but when nothing happened, he opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a small gift box. It was about the size of a jewelry case, wrapped in purple paper and held together by a bright pink bow.
“Uhhh..?” Dib looked up at Zim with a questioning gaze. The invader looked away.
“Take it.” He said sternly.
“What is it? It’s not going to kill me, right?” Somehow, he doubted that, but he had to make sure.
Zim groaned. “I was under the impression that humans wrapped things like this to keep them a surprise. If you don’t want it I’ll-“
“No, no!” Dib cut him off, taking the small gift from his hand. “Calm down. I was just surprised is all.”
As he carefully pulled at the ribbon, he caught Zim sneaking a glance his way. He was obviously excited to see Dib’s reaction, but the boy decided not to mention it. Once fully opened, Dib saw that Inside the perfectly wrapped package was a bracelet that had a similar pattern to Zim’s PAK. It looked mechanical too.
He picked up the bracelet and looked at it closer. “What is this?” He asked.
Zim cleared his throat. “If you must know, it is a universal translator of your own. I was able to tweak the program in such a way that it now operates in your own native language. I know, I know. Impressive, right? You may praise me now.” He said, nonchalantly.
Dib’s eyes widened at Zim’s explanation. “Zim, I- that’s-“ he stuttered out, taken aback by what this meant for him. “That’s amazing! Thank you!”
“Heh. Yes, well. You’re going to need it if you want even a semblance of hope at exploring the depths of space.” Then, looking away again with a slight bluish tint to his cheeks, he added, “Y’know, speaking of that, I was /planning/ on making a trip down to planet Fortitudia to make a trade. They also have edible dirt there... It’s pretty neat, I guess... do you, eh, want to come?”
Dib’s eyes practically had stars in them, he was so excited. “Are you crazy?! Of course I do! I could almost hug you right now!”
“Please refrain.” Zim said quickly, backing away. “I want nothing to do with your earth-cooties, human!”
Rather than being insulted, Dib felt himself laugh at Zim’s antics. Of course he still believed in cooties.
“Yeah, well, see you around, then.” Dib waved.
“Yes. Be gone, child.” Zim replied, waving back.
A month ago, Zim’s entire mission was compromised because of a single glitch in his coding. At the time, it seemed like the worst thing that could have possibly happened to him. Being completely and forcefully immersed into a language he knew nothing about, and having nobody to ask for help but a mortal enemy. It was a seemingly hopeless situation. Impossible, even. So, If somebody had come to him and told him that any semblance of good would come out of it, he would have told them they had the brain worms without a second thought.
But now, as he watched Dib walk away, admiring his new present, he couldn’t help but smile. It seemed that it was possible for something good to come from a bad situation, after all.