Chapter Text
Buggy woke to a gentle presence at his side, slowly building stronger and stronger until it was impossible to ignore. “That’s it Bug, come on, you need to eat dinner,” a deep voice rumbled. By the time a hand lightly shook his shoulder, Buggy was aware enough not to perceive the familiar presence as a threat.
He groaned, a strong headache still pulsing behind his eyes despite the nap. Vaguely, he heard some shuffling, a muttered curse and then the hand was back on his shoulder. “Here, these will help with the light,” Benn murmured, telegraphing his intentions by sliding his hand up the other’s face and lightly bumping metal against his cheek before slipping the dark sunglasses on to Buggy’s face.
A couple weary blinks later, Buggy pried his eyes open, the sunglasses making the already dim room nearly black but his haki easily painting a picture of it in his mind's eye. “Do you need the earmuffs too?” Benn asked quietly.
Buggy sat up slowly, waving away the hand of support. “No, it’s- it’s not that bad.” He swallowed roughly, really taking stock of his aching body. His energy was low, waving chills and heat rolling over him, and limbs trembling slightly despite his attempts to steady them. “Ok,” he revised, “It’s a little bad- but I don’t need the earmuffs, just help me stand?”
“Of course.” The younger man didn’t look up to see the other’s concerned face, instead focusing on finding his footing as blood worked its way back to his brain. “Maybe I should just bring you something here,” Benn voiced his concern.
“‘M fine, just give me a sec…” Buggy blinked his eyes back open, not sure when they closed. “Ok, ok, ‘m fine, let’s- let’s just go.”
Benn signed, but didn’t protest again, keeping steady hands braced against him until Buggy found his footing and shrugged them off.
“Shanks- has he-?” Buggy tried to ask as they made their way to the gallery.
“He’s already had dinner,” Benn confirmed. “Giles is with him now.”
Buggy nodded slowly in acknowledgment, then started worrying his lip. “Did you- umm tell him about-?”
“I let him know you were resting and not to worry about it, though it would do you good to take better care of yourself, so he wouldn’t have too,” Benn reprimanded.
Buggy grimaced. “Yeah, yeah.”
They made it to the gallery soon after, Benn leading the younger to a table and sitting him down before going to bring them both food. Soup, bread, orange juice, and water were all set in front of him with the finely veiled threat of ‘eat or else.’
Buggy was grateful for the quiet gallery, only the sounds of him and Benn eating with Lucky Roo puttering about in the background. He doubted there was actually anything to do in the kitchen right now, but they all had their own coping strategies, he wasn’t one to judge.
The orange juice helped bring his energy level back up and he quickly devoured the rest, finally well enough to feel ravished. By the time he’d polished off the rest he was feeling much more steady.
Benn watched with approval as he finished. “Alright, do you want to take the first shift or do you want me to?”
Buggy hummed, pulling the sunglasses down to look at Benn with a critical eye. “Hmmm, you should get some sleep. I just had a nap and the food really helped, so I’ll be good for a while.”
“If you’re sure.” Benn’s easy agreement spoke to how haggard he really was. “Do you want to take something now or…?”
“No, I’ll take another two before I go to bed. It’ll help me sleep and then I could chance taking some in the morning if it gets really bad,” Buggy reasoned.
Benn’s brows furrowed. “Do you think it will-?”
“No, no, I’m pretty sure I’m past the worst of it now, I’ll just ah- stop making myself worse,” he grimaced.
“That’s all we can ask for,” Benn muttered, the louder said, “Ok, I should come find you around one if I don’t, come get me . Don’t stay up all night, alright?”
“Yes Benn.”
“Brat.” Benn stood and stretched. “I’m going to turn in. Don’t push yourself. Call Giles if something really goes wrong and for the Seas' sake stop straining your haki,” he grumbled.
“ Yes Benn .”
He let out a long suffering sigh, “Safe Waters, Captain.”
“Night Benn, Safe Waters,” Buggy returned.
---------------
Buggy dropped his dishes on the counter, giving a nod to Lucky Roo as he passed, before making his way to the infirmary.
“Knock knock, doc,” Buggy called, quietly, opening the door and walking in before getting an answer.
Giles startled slightly (luckily not in the middle of anything important (it wasn’t luck- Buggy had known exactly what he’d been doing (he was trying to be good, but it was hard to just shut it off ))).
“Captain!” he exclaimed.
“Giles,” Buggy acknowledged, though his eyes had gone straight to Shanks.
“His temperature’s going up,” the young doctor answered the unspoken question. “I’ve got him on an IV now, just to keep him hydrated, but it doesn’t look too bad. The wound got cleaned the best it could and he was healthy before this, so I don’t think we’ll see a bad infection…”
“He’ll be fine. Shanks is a stubborn bastard. This will hardly keep him down,” Buggy encouraged, clapping a hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Plus, you're worrying too much, you did a good job doc. I can tell you that now and later Shanks will tell you the same.”
Giles worried his lower lip. “It still doesn’t feel like enough,” he confessed.
Buggy smiled sympathetically, and patted his shoulder again. “When someone’s like this, it never does, but!” Buggy moved to sit in the chair beside the bed. “Then they’ll wake up, and it’ll all be ok again.” He gave the young man a smile and got a half grimace back.
“I’ll watch him. Go get some sleep, kid,” Buggy said softly.
Giles' nose scrunched up in the start of an adorable protest before Buggy cut him off with a, “Captain’s orders,” and the doctor deflated.
“Fine,” he mumbled. “You’ll be getting some sleep too, though?”
“Yes, yes,” Buggy waved off. “Benn is already on that, we’ll switch around one-” Giles started to open his mouth- “And yes he’s getting sleep now, I’m here because I just got a nap. And yes, we both had dinner. Honestly, this whole crew is full of mother hens.” Buggy grumbled half heartedly, outwardly ignoring the warm feeling rising in his chest.
The doctor smiled, sheepish but satisfied. “Ok, uh if his fever goes up there’s some clean rags in the bottom drawer and if-”
“If anything gets real bad I’ll call you. This isn’t my first infirmary shift, I’m a medic, he’ll be fine, Giles. Now out!” Buggy punctuated his statement by sending a hand to lightly shove him towards the door.
“Ok, ok I’m going, just Captain-” something in the way his breath hitched, haki fluctuated made Buggy pause. Giles spun on his heels facing him fully and dropped into a low, 90 degree bow. “Thank you for saving my Captain,” Giles choked out, repressed tears thick in his voice.
“Oh, doc, hey,” Buggy spoke softly, melting with fondness. His brother had really found an amazing crew. “We both did, ok? We both did.”
His hand gently nudged the other back up and rested on his shoulder comfortingly as Giles composed himself. Buggy made a note to himself to remind Shanks to talk with Giles when he had the chance, the doc needed some reassurances from his Captain.
After a minute or two he finished scrubbing his eyes and sniffling. Giles' eyes flicked up for a moment to catch Buggy’s own before dropping back down, slightly embarrassed but not ashamed. He nodded his head in a slight bow. “Safe Waters, Captain.”
“Get some rest, doc. Safe Waters.”
-------
Buggy settled in for a long few hours. The infirmary wasn’t particularly hot or cold but he still undid his scarf and laid it in his lap, for as much to have something to do with his hands as for temperature control.
Around ten the fever became noticeable. Shanks’ face pale and drawn, beads of sweat dampening his hair and rolling off his temples. Buggy kept his position as his hands went about getting and dampening some rags (sometimes his devil fruit really was wonderful), then gently resting one on his brow.
It peaked just after midnight, Shanks generally relaxed sleep turning more strained, small gasps and whimpers escaping his lips.
“You’re fine, Shanks,” Buggy said gently, rearranging the two damp rags beside his neck and whipping his brow. Buggy let his hand linger, his fingers gently stroking the other’s cheek.
“Settle brother,” he whispered. Shanks seemed to relax instinctively into his touch, a small sigh escaping him. Leaning back, Buggy carefully took his hand, switching between rubbing soft circles on it and light taps.
It was nostalgic, in a strange sort of way, to be the one on vigil. It’d been a long time since Shanks had gotten badly hurt and the bastard rarely ever got sick. Last time would have had to have been- well, Buggy glanced at the bandaged stump, the ring of burn scars lost with the arm, it wasn’t a good time to think about that.
And then after Raftel-
Anyway, Buggy was used to being on the opposite side of this equation.
Maybe that was the reason he started humming, without even fully realizing it. Old lyrics drifted past his lips before he’d fully made the conscious decision to sing.
Beside my sides, behind my back,
My trusted crew will be.
For there’s nothing that can break the bounds
Forged on the stormy sea!
Friends to enemies to friends with strangers all around,
We’ll seek the glory out there, adventurers will be found!
Buggy sang softly, deeply, pleased to see Shanks relaxing back into a deeper sleep.
For the family that I left behind, and family I set out to find,
We’ll seek the treasure of the deep and pray that she be kind.
We’ll seek the treasure of the deep and pray that she be kind.
With a deep breath he continued on to the next verse.
No matter how treacherous,
That it may seem to be.
For all the ships that sail and sink
Into the salty sea.
Buggy looked up as he heard the door open. But then, relaxed and kept singing, feeling it was just Benn.
They just don’t know what I know, about how the waters play.
For her smiling shores and peaking waves, will always lead my way.
The older man closed the door quietly behind him and made his way into the room, stopping to stand beside Buggy.
And as much as I love my homeland, and the people I leave behind,
It’s nothing on the people out there, and adventures I will find.
It’s nothing on the people out there, and adventures I will find!
He finished softly, letting the ending note drift out into a humm. Benn was quiet when he spoke, both of them sensing and observing the silence of the night. “It’s nearly two,” he chided gently, “You should have woken me.”
Buggy shrugged, humming in acknowledgment but rather unconceded. Benn sighed above him, before leaning down and removing the damp rag, checking Shanks' temperature as he went. He walked over to wet it in the sink before placing it back.
“Come one,” Benn nudged Buggy. “Time for bed.”
Buggy let out a long sigh, eyes closing, relaxing back into the chair and leaning slightly into the older man’s steady presence at his side. Benn’s arm came around his shoulders, his fingers moving up to gently run through his hair.
“Are you going to be able to sleep on your own?” Benn asked, quietly, concerned.
“Yeah,” Buggy nodded, pulling in a deep breath, he leaned back and sat up. “We’re on the Force, I’ll be fine,” he finished with a soft smile.
Benn studied him for a second before nodding. He moved away, letting Buggy stretch from hours of inactivity, as he ruffled through the medicine cabinets.
“Here,” Benn said, bringing over a light blue glass jar, “One or two?”
“Just one, my head’s honestly not too bad and I want to save one for the morning, just in case.”
Benn hummed in approval and shook a petal into Buggy outstretched palm which he quickly downed.
As Benn was putting the medicine away, Buggy stood up and groaned. “Ok, I’ll admit, I’m looking forward to sleeping on that bed again. Might have to get myself one of those.”
Benn snorted. “I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you want to get nearly eaten half a dozen times. Then again, as a devil fruit user, I guess you’d be making some other idiot suffer for you,” Benn mused.
Buggy chuckled. “I don’t know what you’re looking so smug about Benn, my other idiot’s right there,” he said, tilting his head towards a soundly sleeping Shanks.
Benn groaned, “Please no. Once was more than enough.”
Smothering a grin, Buggy clapped Benn on the shoulder. “Night Benn, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Hmmm,” Benn agreed. “Rest well Buggy, Captain. Safe Waters.”
“Safe Waters.”
----------
Buggy slept a good chunk of the day, waking up with the sun already high in the sky, probably around eleven or so, and very late for him.
He grumbled slightly, rolling over to bury his face in the pillow for a minute before getting up. Showering and putting on clothes was a quick affair, keeping his hair carefully wrapped up and out of the way so it didn’t get wet.
Put together enough for the day, Buggy made his way to the gallery to see who else was around.
“You let me sleep,” Buggy accused, eyes narrowing at Benn as he walked into the otherwise empty gallery.
The older man shrugged. “Looked like you needed it more than food. Besides, everyone’s getting a late start today, Captain only got up an hour or so ago, so it’s not like you missed much.”
Buggy sighed, but was pleased to note that Shanks was awake. After he sat down he crossed his arms, sending his hands off to get him a cup of coffee and sandwich. “You finally convinced Lucky Roo to get some sleep?” Buggy nodded towards the empty kitchen.
Benn hummed into his coffee, folding the newspaper with a flick. “Yeah, after all the guys finished breakfast we were all able to convince him we’d be fine. Though not before he left stuff set up for sandwiches,” Benn said, nodding at the plate Buggy’s hand brought back.
The blue haired man shrugged. “Works for me. Where is everyone?”
Benn raised an eyebrow as if to ask, Don’t you know? and Buggy huffed. “I’m trying to be good about it but if you don’t want to tell me-”
“No, no it’s fine, don’t strain yourself. Most everyone’s with Shanks right now actually, that or asleep,” Benn’s eyes went unforced for a second, an obvious tell on less experienced observation users that they were checked out distant things. (Shanks would argue that it wasn’t a ‘less experienced’ tell but rather the ‘normal fucking reaction we’re not all prodigies’- which, frankly, Buggy thought was rather hypocritical).
“Giles is in bed now too, which is good, I don’t know if he’s gotten any real sleep yet. He must have talked with Shanks. And Yasopp’s,” a heavy sigh, “in the crows nest, again.” Benn let out a muffled curse, going to stand.
However, Buggy waved him back down. “Let me talk to him,” Buggy suggested, explaining at Benn's skeptical look. “He doesn’t really need to talk to either of us,” he elaborated. “What he needs is a kick in the pants to get him to stop hiding and go talk to Shanks. I can do that just fine. Might be my specialty kind of pep talk actually.”
Benn snorted, but settled down. “Yeah ok, I’ll leave that to you.”
“Good,” Buggy nodded, moving to stand.
“After you finish that sandwich,” Benn said sternly.
Buggy grumbled, sitting back down. “Right, right.”
------
Yasopp was, as all moping snipers would be, in the crow’s nest. Buggy debated hiding his presence (it had been tremendously fun freaking the man out by just appearing places) but he was trying to be good and setting back his haki’s recovery for a jump scare really wasn’t practical.
So climbing up normally it was. When he reached the top, opened the trap door and pulled himself in, Yasopp was very pointedly looking away from the entrance. Buggy had no doubt the sniper had heard (and sensed) him come in and was simply choosing to ignore that fact in favor of brooding. He wasn’t very good at it, fingers tapping restlessly on the bench’s back, eyes flicking over the horizon not quite scanning it for threats so much as avoiding the world.
“See anything interesting?” Buggy started off casually. He made his way in and settled on the bench across from the other. The circular room only spanned a ten foot diameter with wooden benches circling the walls.
“Like you wouldn’t already know…” Yasopp muttered, not quite quiet enough to be mistaken for something he wasn’t supposed to hear.
Buggy rolled his eyes at the other’s petulance. “I’m on haki time out actually,” Buggy informed. “I think Benn might actually knock me out if I try another ‘unnecessary stunt’”
Yasopp looked over, raising an eye insidiously, unconvinced. “Seriously?”
Buggy snorted. It was ego boosting to know that Yasopp saw him as scarier than Benn, but that was likely due to lack of exposure. He’d learn soon enough who was the scarier one and it wasn’t Buggy (at least not to nakama ). “Wouldn’t be the first time, though it has been a number of years,” he mused.
Yasopp pressed his lips at that, going back to staring out the window instead of looking at Buggy. As the first person to join the crew after he left, Yasopp was in a unique position to feel the hole he left behind. Buggy wondered if his presence on the Force was doing more harm than good, opening up old wounds that had just started to heal in the Red Haired Pirates.
He didn’t doubt that Shanks had made the sniper feel welcome, likely ecstatic at gaining a new nakama. But how many times had Yasopp’s new Captain turned to speak to Buggy only to find him there instead? It also probably didn’t help that fighting wise they fell into the same position. Yasopp’s skilled marksmanship made him ideal for many of the long range tasks Buggy had performed before with stealth and knives.
Benn had likely been a strong stabilizing force then, the consistency needed to uphold Shanks overpowering charisma. Maybe bringing up his deeper connection to the Red Hair’s first mate wasn’t the best idea.
Buggy shook his head, now was the time for talking, not analyzing. Trying to draw the other back into conversation, Buggy complained, “And now you're back to brooding. Look,” he attempted to reassure, “you really don’t need to worry about Shanks, ok? If he was going to die he’d have done it already, not that we’d have let him.”
“Yeah… yeah, I know,” Yasopp replied, sounding sincere but still troubled, “It’s just…”
“Just what?” Buggy prompted, wanting to get at the heart of the problem.
Yasopp let out a frustrated noise. “We weren’t able to do anything!” He threw his hands up. “We just had to pace on the deck! And I trust Giles, he’s great. But he’s barely an adult and this was bad . I could feel him- I could feel Captain- ” Yasopp choked on his words, took a shuddering breath. “It was so close,” he whispered.
Buggy winced, knowing what it was like to feel another fading,
dying
, and being unable to do anything.
(Of not being
allowed
to do anything).
“And then you came,” Yasopp continued. “And you didn’t feel like anything and then you felt like Captain and I- I couldn’t help but think that if you’d still been here instead, then Captain would have already woken up, might not have gotten hurt at all- ”
“Stop, seas, Yasopp stop. That’s not- stars that’s not-” Buggy sighed, worries confirmed. Seas, was there anyone here he didn’t screw up by leaving the crew? He hadn’t even met Yasopp before all this and yet here was a festering inferiority complex over absolutely nothing of substance.
“Ok look, get this through your thick skull because I already had to say it to Shanks and now I’m having to say it to you,” Buggy started sternly, some of his own ‘Captain’s tone’ slipping through. “Me leaving had nothing to do with the crew, it had nothing to do with Shanks and it certainly had nothing to do with you .”
“I’m sure there was a bit of an adjustment period for them, but that had nothing to do with not wanting you and everything to do with missing me. If anything you probably made it easier for Shanks, since he had someone new to focus on and distract himself with,” Buggy paused trying to gauge the other’s reaction, before continuing softly. “Shanks cares about all of his people with everything he has; it's the only way he knows. Your nakama, Yasopp. Of course , Shanks loves and values you.”
“But not as much as he cares about you,” Yasopp countered, without any real animosity and more resigned acceptance.
“That’s not-” Buggy started to protest before hesitating, because he couldn’t really deny it. “That doesn’t make what he feels for any of you any less real,” he finished lamely.
“No,” Yasopp agreed. “But- it broke something- in Captain, you leaving. He just lost his arm for Sea's sake and I’ve never felt him this light. I just - why aren’t we enough?” Yasopp questioned heartbreak in his tone. “Why can’t you stay?”
Buggy looked away from Yasopp’s pleading eyes. Maybe he was the one who had to have this conversation; it certainly seemed like these were questions only he could answer.
“He’s my brother,” Buggy said simply. “We can surround ourselves with other people, even nakama we love, but it’ll never fill that hole. It’s- we’re blood brothers and that’s so much more than a simple bonding. We- we complete each other. In a lot of ways not being around Shanks- it’s, ha, like losing an arm.” Buggy smiled warily. “We’ve been with each other practically all our lives, don't try to compare yourself to that.”
“Then why can’t you stay?” Yasopp asked earnestly. Why did you leave? Buggy heard.
Buggy closed his eyes, a pained sigh leaving his lips. Then he straightened, turning to face Yasopp head on. “Yasopp, look at me,” he commanded, when the other merely turned his head curiously he repeated, bracing himself.
“No look. Really, really look,” he said, locking eyes with the other and dropping his instinctual haki shields. The ones he didn’t have to think about that simply nudged other’s to look away, look away, nothing to see here that you want to know, you really don’t want to know .
Feeling his seriousness, Yasopp also straightened and really, really looked. His haki expanded out, probing the other. At first his brows furrowed, lips twisted in concentration, confusion. Senses reaching, testing, looking for something that just wasn’t there. Not past the surface.
The moment he got it, the sniper’s face paled drastically, eyes snapping up, wide and scared.
Buggy smiled, teeth white, like daisy petals, like bone.
Yasopp swallowed thickly. “How-?”
Buggy shook his head, looking away, shields snapping back into place the second he stopped actively repressing them. He pressed a hand to his chest, felt nothing, ignored it.
“It hurts Shanks,” Buggy explained, answering Yasopp’s previous question in disregard to his new one. “To be reminded of this.” He gestured to everything and nothing all at once. “What we are now. What I am now. What we had to do and sacrifice for that.”
He paused, gazing out at the Sea. “Most days he can forget- but- I can’t. Not really- and it hurts him. To see me hurting. Shanks blames himself, even though nothing was his fault, every road lead us there, leads us here even now. But- we,” Buggy sounded incredibly tired. “We both have these expectations of the other, of who we used to be, that we can’t always be right now and it hurts us- to be reminded of what was lost.”
“You're the Midnight Ghost,” Yasopp breathed out, face still pale but expression bordering closer to awe than fear now.
Buggy snorted out a short laugh, surprised. “I haven’t been active in years. You’ve heard of me?” he asked, adjusting the scarf around his neck.
Yasopp nodded dumbly. “Yeah, I- just rumors,” he admitted, “And only once we got into the Grandline. You're a legend.”
“A Guardian,” Buggy corrected. “Shanks is too you know. One who just chose his candidate for King.”
Yasopp sucked in a sharp breath. “Luffy… You really think-?”
Buggy shook his head. “I don’t think anything yet, he’ll have to convince me on his own. But Shanks has a habit of being annoyingly right about these sorts of things. He’s good with people like that.”
The sniper nodded absently in agreement, looking slightly shell shocked from all these revelations, so Buggy decided to sooth the blow.
“I- I’m not unhappy here, Yasopp. I have my own crew, my own nakama,” Buggy continued, “Shanks is my brother and I’ll be by his side as much as I can, for as long as I can, but… I can’t go with you. He has his own adventures to live, that I can’t be there for. It’s what- it’s why I’m glad he has nakama like you.”
The sniper swallowed thickly, scrubbing a mist of tears from his eyes. “We’ll look after him,” Yasopp promised.
Buggy smiled gently. “I know.” He stood, somewhat stiffly, and walked over to Yasopp, laying a man on the man’s shoulder. Giving it a squeeze, he said, “You’re my nakama too, you know.”
Yasopp smiled wide, color back in his face and light back in his eyes. “’Course, Captain Buggy.”
“Hmmm,” Buggy nodded, removing his hand. “Now I don’t have to remind you not to mention this to anyone, especially Shanks , do I?” he semi-seriously threatened.
Yasopp shook his head rapidly. “I won’t tell anyone,” he quickly assured.
“Good,” Buggy nodded firmly, stepping back. “And for Seas sake, go talk to your Captain. We both know he’s fretting about you.”
Flushing slightly in embarrassment, but also giving a determined nod, Yasopp agreed.
“But maybe do your job as lookout first,” Buggy smirked, tilting his head toward the window.
The sniper frowned at him before turning to look out the window. His eyes widened before he jumped up, spotting the island in the distance. Throwing open the window he leaned out of the crow’s nest to shout, “Land ho!”
When Yasopp turned back around, Buggy was already gone.