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Banana Split

Chapter 3

Notes:

It's my birthday today so please excuse any typos/errors.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Has anyone ever told you your eyes look like melted chocolate?” asked Sirius Black, who had angled his chair so close to Remus’ that Remus could feel his body heat. 

“Many people,” Remus answered honestly. After taking a sip of his margarita, he added, “Guys really like to compare me to food for some reason.”

“Probably because you look good enough to eat,” Sirius offered with a devilish grin.

“Yeah,” Remus sighed mournfully, “They tell me that too.”

“James?” Lily said with sour eyes fixed on Sirius. “Can you put your dog on a leash?”

“Come on Lily,” Marlene McKinnon giggled from across the table, “Remus doesn’t seem to mind—look at those dimples!”

Sirius beamed and scooted his chair impossibly closer.

Remus rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to see how many drinks I can get him to buy me before he gives up.”

“For you, Buttercup, I’d buy the whole bar.”

“I’ve heard that one too!” Remus exclaimed.

Sirius snorted, then eagerly leaned forward in his seat. “How about this—I bet you I can kiss those pretty lips without even touching you. If I lose, I’ll buy everyone another drink.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Remus laughed.

“Then you have nothing to lose.”

“Yeah, Remus,” Dorcas Meadowes cut in. “Let the man buy me a drink.”

“Okay, fine. I accept—“

And then Sirius’ lips were on his. Hungry. In control but surprisingly pliant. The kiss made Remus’ head dizzy but his instincts took over. He met Sirius’ lips with equal vigor, letting out a soft moan when Sirius used a strong hand to slip the slightest bit up Remus’ shorts and squeeze his thigh. It was only when the catcalls from around the table grew too obnoxious to ignore that Remus gently extracted himself from Sirius’ grasp, taking a heavy pause to stare into the boy’s sparkling grey eyes.

“I lose,” Sirius grinned, “Next round’s on me.”

---

Remus cleared his throat, then said, “I’m so hungry,” because he and Sirius had already gone as far as they could on the topic of weather.

“Yeah,” Sirius grumbled in return. 

Remus wasn’t trying to be ungrateful but this was not the Valentine’s Day he had been looking forward to all week. Although the restaurant was nice with its romantic lighting and impeccable food, the charming Sirius Black whom Remus had grown accustomed to was nowhere to be found. The strange creature inhabiting his body was terse, and to be frank, acted like he’d rather be anywhere than with Remus. Remus had been planning on gifting Sirius a key to his apartment that night as a sign of commitment but he couldn’t help but second guess himself. 

Still, he tried again, “So did Regulus win that competition?”

“He came in dead last,” Sirius said with his head bent down over the menu.

“Wow.”

“The judge told him he was an insult to film.”

“Poor kid.”

“Don’t feel too bad, my Dad made some calls and got the guy fired. Do you think the soup’s good here?”

“...The soup?”

“The minestrone.”

Remus let out a slow exhale. “I think it’s hard to mess up minestrone. You’re probably safe.”

Sirius shook his head regretfully, eyes still fiercely trained on the menu as if it would be ripped out of his hands at any moment. “Maybe the tomato basil…”

With a sigh, Remus perused his menu. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah.”

It was only a few more moments when, at last, a savior appeared. “Hi! I’m Barty and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you guys started on some drinks?”

“Hi!” Remus felt himself bounce in excitement. “I’ll have a Bellini with—”

You.”

It really wasn’t fair that the night had been allowed to progress as it did.

As it turned out, Barty the waiter was one of Sirius’ ex-lovers. A bitter one, if the man’s vicious glare and Sirius’ desperate attempts to leave were any indications. It might have been funny if the night hadn’t already been such a disappointment. Remus didn’t even have time to feel jealous, what with Sirius’ muteness and Barty’s passive-aggressive professionalism. If it weren’t for the Bellinis and lobster ravioli, Remus might have sacrificed himself to the live lobster tank in the corner.

“See?” he smiled, feeling happy that they could finally go home and maybe save the night by doing what they did best. “He didn’t slip poison into our food.”

“That we know—” And then Sirius stopped mid-sentence, his face twisting with anger.

“Are you okay?”

“I—” was all Sirius stuttered out.

Worry mixed with the Bellinis in Remus’ belly. “Sirius?” he tried again.

“Are you sure you didn’t taste anything weird?” Sirius demanded. “...Or feel something weird?”

“No, did you? Are you coming down with something? You seem...off.”

Through clenched teeth, Sirius forced out, “Actually, I am feeling a bit off tonight. I’m just going to go to the restroom—I’ll be right back.” Within seconds he was out of his seat and storming out of sight. Remus contemplated going after him but then figured if Sirius was sick he might want some privacy. So, he waited...

...and waited.

It was a solid twenty minutes of waiting later when the nerves in the pit of Remus’ stomach told him to go check on Sirius. Warily, he made his way through the restaurant and to the restrooms. “Sirius?” he called. He needn’t have though; the restroom was so small that its emptiness was immediately apparent with a glance.

Befuddled, Remus almost ran into someone when he exited into the hallway. The man, a waiter, sent Remus an apologetic smile before barking at another server at his heels. “Ryan! Where the hell is Crouch?”

Remus’ ears perked up at the mention. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Barty in all the time he was waiting; he had just been too busy worrying about Sirius to notice.

“Barty’s on break!” The other server replied. “But that was twenty minutes ago so…”

The rest of their conversation faded away as the pair moved along, leaving Remus frozen in place, trying to put all the horrible clues together. 1) Sirius had been miserable all night, avoiding eye contact, rebuffing all attempts at conversation. 2) Barty and Sirius had slept together in the past and had obvious unresolved tension. 3) Barty had started his break exactly when Sirius disappeared and now neither were anywhere to be seen.

With shaking hands, Remus pulled out his phone and dialed Sirius’ number. You have reached the voicemail box of

Barty was attractive if you liked bright blue eyes and good bone structure.

Remus tried calling again. You have reached the voicemail box of

But would Sirius do this to him? On Valentine’s Day?

---

“Remus,” Lily hissed. “Just listen to me for a second. Please.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “You just hate him, Lily.”

“That’s the thing—I don’t hate him. I just know that he’s a player and I’ve seen him use people and—”

“Lily,” Remus interrupted, “It’s not like I’m in love with the guy or anything. I’m not stupid. But we’re having fun together and I like him and he told me he wants to see me tonight. Is that really a problem?”

“Okay, I get what you’re saying,” Lily said, “I do. It’s just that I can see you’re getting emotionally invested in this and I don’t want him to…” her voice trailed off as she looked just beyond Remus’ head. Remus turned to see what had caught her attention.

It was that moment that Sirius entered the bar, tall and handsome in well-fitting jeans and a short-sleeved button-down that perfectly showcased his strong arms. Butterflies flew around Remus’ stomach and he sat up straighter, waiting for Sirius’ stormy eyes to zero in on him like they usually did. 

The moment didn’t come, however. Sirius stopped short and turned back to the door. A half-second later, a sinewy blonde appeared. Remus watched as Sirius offered his signature smirk and then a hand, which the other man took with a wink. Sirius leaned in to whisper something in the man’s ear, causing him to throw his head back in a flirty laugh.

The butterflies sunk to their death and embarrassment took their place. Remus could practically feel Lily’s pitying gaze. “He must have forgotten,” he murmured, turning away from the spectacle. “I…”

Lily interlaced her soft hands with Remus’. “I’m not going to acknowledge him anymore tonight because he doesn’t deserve our attention,” she started, “but let it be known that you can do ten times better than Sirius Black.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed weakly, not quite believing it.

---

Yes, Remus thought as he called a random waiter’s attention to settle the check. Hooking up with someone else on Valentine’s Day was exactly something Sirius Black would do.

 


 

Remus was waiting on his couch when the knock came. He didn’t want to answer but he knew he needed to end this charade once and for all. Mustering up what was left of his dignity, he straightened his shoulders and opened the door.

Sirius looked haphazard. (Remus could only guess why.) “Remus,” he murmured.

But before he could get another word out, Remus stepped aside and said, “We need to talk.”

“I know what this looks like but I—”

“I don’t really want to hear this, Sirius,” Remus interrupted. He would not allow Sirius to string together some pretty words and manipulate his way out of this one too. “Just come inside.”

“Nothing happened,” Sirius had the nerve to say.

“Sirius,” Remus deadpanned, “you disappeared for twenty minutes with our waiter who you obviously have history with. I know you weren’t in the bathroom because I checked. I’m not stupid.”

“I promise I would not do that to you,” Sirius lied, “I—”

Remus wanted to laugh. “Wouldn’t you?” He took pleasure in the fact that Sirius flinched at the words.

Sirius quickly composed himself, however. “No,” he growled. “Never.”

The fucking gall!

“You…” Remus shut his eyes against an oncoming wave of emotion, “You have been seeing other people since we started dating, Sirius. You don’t even try to hide it. And yes, I knew what I was getting into and people warned me about the kind of guy you are but you were so charming and persistent so I pretended—”

The truth was Remus was only human. How could he not be swayed by someone so handsome and clever and rich? How could he not feel a touch of superiority that Sirius Rebel Without a Cause Black had taken an interest in him? How could he not pretend, in his innermost thoughts, that this was his very own fairytale?

“But then you got so jealous and started doting on me so I thought…” Remus groaned, thinking of how Sirius spoiled him. How he positively melted under the heat of Sirius’ gaze. “I don’t like these games. I don’t like the way you mess with my head. I—I don’t want to see you anymore.”

The truth was Remus Lupin was in love with Sirius Black and that was exactly why he needed to let him go.

Sirius remained quiet for a long time. Remus was just about to tell him to leave once and for all when Sirius blurted, “I’ve never taken anyone out on Valentine’s Day before.”

This fucker. “So?” Remus prompted exasperatedly.

Something behind Sirius’ eyes flickered dangerously. “I’ve never barged into anyone’s apartment in a jealous rage before,” he said firmly as if it made any difference.

“Okay—” Remus tried to cut in but Sirius was on a roll.

“I’ve never carried someone’s books around Flourish and Blotts for two hours while they perused the entirety of the fiction section before.”

---

“The Black Hand?” Sirius asked quizzically.

Remus shrugged. “It’s about the Mexican Mafia.”

“Light reading, then,” Sirius smiled.

With a short laugh, Remus lightly grabbed the edge of Sirius’ leather jacket and tugged him out of the aisle. He couldn’t grab either of Sirius’ hands because both were full of books, aka the fruits of Remus’ hours worth of browsing. He hadn’t intended to use Sirius as a personal pack mule on his weekly Flourish and Blotts trip (nor had he thought that was even an option) but Sirius had insisted. The poor thing didn’t realize what he was in for but took the day like a champ, not asking Remus if he was almost done even once.

Sirius tried to head towards the cash register but Remus instead guided him to the back of the store where there were several round study tables. He quickly began to unload Sirius’ arms, already separating the books into piles.

“I thought you were done?” Sirius asked with unmistakable panic in his eyes.

“I am,” Remus chuckled, reaching out to fix Sirius’ jacket collar. “But I can’t buy all of these, so I need to go through and pick my favorites.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, then gathered all the books in his arms once more before marching back towards the register.

“What are you

“Remus,” Sirius snorted, not bothering to slow his stride, “when you’re with me, you’re going to get everything you want.”

---

Remus shook the memory from his head. “Sirius—”

“I’ve never woken up at six in the morning to drive someone to their seven o’clock shift before,” Sirius continued fiercely. He seemed to grow more assured with every word. “I’ve never stayed in on a Saturday night to marathon Lifetime movies before. I’ve never built someone’s Ikea furniture before. I’ve never laid in bed with someone for hours talking about nothing before.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve never met a boy like you before.”

Remus felt like he was going to stop breathing. As the happy memories flooded his head, all he could think to say was, “That sounds like a lie.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

Had he? Even when he’d been horrible, he’d never lied. “No,” Remus admitted, “but…”

Sirius was closer now. Close enough to touch. “Can I please tell you what really happened tonight?” he asked softly.

It occurred to Remus that Sirius did not need to lie to him. He was the kind of guy who could have anyone he wanted and he didn’t need to play games to do it. If Remus thought about it rationally, it didn’t make sense that Sirius would put so much effort into a relationship only to ruin it for a fumble in some storage room.

And Remus didn’t want to be made a fool but he would be lying to himself if he said the past few weeks with Sirius hadn’t felt real. That the electrifying connection they shared the night they met hadn’t intensified. That he hadn’t been offered a side to Sirius that was vulnerable and almost overwhelmingly affectionate. For that reason and that reason alone, Remus nodded his head yes.

“In case you didn’t know,” Sirius began slowly, squaring his shoulders, “I have not always been the nicest person.”

That was an understatement but Remus decided not to interject. He’d let Sirius sink or swim all on his own.

“Way back in the day I hooked up with Barty Cou—Crouch,” Sirius explained. “And I heard a rumor about hima nasty rumor about him hooking up with one too many people. So, being the wee, brainless little Freshman I was, I made up a nickname because I thought it was funny...”

Crouch the Couch. No wonder he hated Sirius.

“...and it was funny,” Sirius muttered under his breath before continuing, “But so, so mean. Thus, when we ran into Barty tonight, he was rightfully upset. He was so upset that he...hid the ring I bought you.”

Remus’ eyes bugged halfway out of their sockets.

“Not an engagement ring!” Sirius stammered. “Just a...nice ring for Valentine’s Day that I asked the restaurant to hide in your dessert. Anyway, Barty was so upset that he hid the ring until I apologized to him. So, that’s where I was. I was apologizing for being an absolute idiot, which he very much deserved. I’m sorry I didn’t just outright tell you that. I didn’t want you to think any worse of my character than you probably already do,” Sirius frowned. “And I wanted tonight to be special and I was so nervous because you’re precious to me…” 

With a deep breath, Sirius stopped, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a gorgeous glittering moonstone. It was perfect.

“It’s not an engagement ring?” Remus double-checked.

“No,” Sirius laughed, “it’s a promise.”

“Oh?” Remus smiled at the ring.

“It’s a promise that as long as you wear it, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.”

Remus’ heart felt heavy but in the best way possible. Like it was so full of happiness that it might burst. “That sounds like a mighty task.”

“Actually,” Sirius murmured, “I think it’s the easiest thing I’ll ever do.”

Remus slid the ring on his middle finger and, like Cinderella’s slipper, it was a perfect fit. Maybe this could be Remus’ very own fairytale after all.

Excitement resurrected in his stomach. “I have a couple presents for you too,” he said slyly. “Why don’t we start with the fun one?” He’d have all the time in the world to give Sirius the key.

To Sirius’ look of pure eagerness, Remus moved to his refrigerator to collect the man’s second gift: chocolate syrup and whipped cream. In other words, a well-deserved treat for both of them. Leading Sirius to his bedroom, he smirked, “I’m craving a banana split right now.”

Notes:

This chapter was simultaneously easy and hard to write. It was easy because it basically followed Chocolate Cake from start to finish, but it was hard because I struggled to add new content to make it fresh and interesting. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it! I really want to write a short epilogue to just finish this story off once and for all, but no promises when that will come.

Thank you all for reading!

PS: You can find more of my writing/ask me questions on my Tumblr, @theprongsletthatlived.

(Also, I stole that “bet” idea in the very first scene from Reddit.)

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