Chapter Text
You were still on the ground, explaining to Damon what was going to happen to you. The fact that Daelan poisoned you and what it meant.
“No.”
You looked at Damon, questioning his say.
“I won’t let him win. I’ll transform you.”
“What? No.”
By reflex you closed your eyes and reached for your bracelet. When you didn’t find it, your eyes snapped back open.
“Please don’t.”
You tried to get up, which went better with his help.
“I won’t. I learned my lesson from last time.”
“He must have taken it off when I was sleeping.”
You walked to the nightstand, Damon supporting most of your weight.
“But why would he do that?”
“So I could find this” you said, opening the drawer.
In there were your bracelet, a gift box, and a letter.
You sat at the end of the bed getting the objects out.
“Wow… He knew I would find those.”
You did, just so he could go without any worries. He linked his fingers with you, and you leaned to give him a last kiss.
“I love you Y/N,” he said smiling at you.
You planted the stake through his heart.
“I love you too Daelan,” you answered, sobbing nastily.
You stayed on your knees near him for one hour before you passed out from tiredness. When you woke up, you didn’t have any energy left to cry again. You sat still for another two hours with your headache before you heard a noise. Someone came to kneel next to you.
“Hey…”
You didn’t move.
“I’m Daelan’s friend.”
You thought you were too tired to cry, well you were proven wrong. As you heard his name, you started to cry again. They came to consulate you which helped a little, but not with your headache.
“I’m sorry, I told him it wasn’t the best idea, but he really wanted to see you for a last time. I didn’t think he would ask you too…”
You still didn’t say a word.
“Did you find the letter?”
Your head perked up at this question. They went beside you and open completely the drawer of the nightstand, which was ajar. Inside it were a gift box and a letter.
“He’s making me live it all over again,” you muttered, starting to read the letter.
Hey Y/N…
If you’re reading this, I’m dead… again. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I loathe myself for making you go through all that. I know I had no right to do that, but the poison and obsession got in my head. I know you have something with Damon that has nothing to do with me, but I hope you still think of me sometimes. I know how you hated everything about supernatural, but I hope it won’t let you stop your decision concerning the choice I’m forcing you to take. Please, I know that you always thought of both being dead, but it’s better to be dead and walking than dead and in dust. Also, you know how a heartbreak is. I did it to you… Please think about Damon in your situation. I don’t know if he’s said it, but it’s obvious he loves you. I love you too, and I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me. Hope the gift isn’t too much either. Goodbye Y/N.
You opened the box to find a ring.
“It’s a daylight ring,” you said, showing it to Damon, who looked surprised.
“He did that for you?”
You were back to Mystic Falls, with a decision to make. During all the time you spent out, most people you knew discovered about supernatural beings. All except Jenna. You didn’t say anything to your family and friends to not worry them. But they knew you were sick, as your skin was paler, but you had dark circles under your eyes. You also seemed to have less energy and slowed your sarcasm and your wit. You decided to wear Daelan’s ring, as a way to remember him in a good way.
You were getting ready for school when Jenna stopped you in the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
“School.”
“I don’t think so miss, you’re sick.”
“I’m not that sick.”
“Go back to your room.”
“But mom!”
“I don’t think s– How did you call me?”
“Jenna?”
She hugged you.
“You called me mom for the first time since I adopted you.”
“I did?”
She chuckled.
“Do you really wanna go to school?”
You nodded.
“Alright. But as soon as you feel bad, you go straight home and call me.”
“Okay… mom,” you hugged her, “See you later.”
“Okay, I’m going Jenna.”
“Let’s go together Jer!”
You got out running after Jeremy.
“Do you have some?”
He looked at you, surprised.
“Last time you asked for it was when you just got here.”
“Do you have it or not?”
“Sure.”
“Then let’s meet twenty minutes after the first class, at the table near the huge bin.”
“Okay. See you later.”
You went to your class and tried to ignore the looks from your friends and schoolmates. You were only looking at the clock with impatience, which was caught by Damon, seating just behind you.
“Are you waiting for something?” he whispered.
You shook your head and stopped looking at the clock, but when the time came, you asked to go to the bathroom. You went to your locker, took a book, practically ran outside, and saw Jer outside smoking a blunt. As you arrived at the table, he handed you the joint.
“Are you kidding? I want the strong shit,” you said, still taking some puffs.
“Are you kidding?” We’re on school grounds.”
“So what? Do you intend to do it with me? If not, I don’t see why it matters to you. It’s not like you never got in trouble for drug possession anyways,” you rolled your eyes.
He sighed before getting a little Ziploc bag out of his pocket. You hugged him and giggled for the first time since you came back.
“Thanks, Jer, you’re the best!”
“Don’t think Jenna will think that if she learns.”
“Which she won’t, don’t worry,” you said, starting to prepare the ‘table’.
You put the book down to a card out of your phone case and laid a thick straight line.
“Woah, Y/N. That’s way too much.”
“Jeremy Gilbert. Since when have you been such a stuck-up virgin bitch? You know what they say: ‘you only live once’… well some people do.”
“Okay, what’s up with you?”
You inhaled the substance and leaned on your adoptive cousin.
“Nothing… Everything. How to know? Teenage is messed up.”
“Yeah, that’s the only sensed thing I’ve heard from you. You know even if I don’t say it often, I care about you.”
“Yeah, I know. I love you too Jer,” you elbowed him, “Who would give me all my drugs otherwise?”
He rolled his eyes at the end of you sentence.
“No, but seriously. You get me Jer. You’re the one I confide in the most.”
“Then why aren’t you doing it?”
“Because I don’t wanna scare you.”
“What’s scarier than werewolves, vampires and witches?”
“I’m dying.”
He turned to you.
“No, you’re not. You’re just a little sick, stop dramatizing,” he slowly chuckled.
When you didn’t answer, his face turned darker.
“How?”
“I have a rare undefined poison inside me. Damon’s doppelganger did it to me, but because he’s basically a zombie, some things are still unknown. That’s why I look like this.”
“And that’s why you’re back to snow. You’re trying to forget all that happened.”
You acquiesced, laying another line.
“I think that one line was more than enough,” he said, grabbing your wrist.
“Aw, come on! One more line and that’s it.”
“Let it be one line N/N. Not more.”
Your cousin let go, put eye drops near the book and took off. You started to sniff the line, but while you were at the half of it, it was pushed on the ground and you were caught by the collar of your vest.
“Damon, are you serious? That’s some great waste!”
“That’s your choice? To kill yourself before the sickness can even do it?”
You laughed, already far in your high.
“No. My idea is staying on my high cloud until the Reaper comes for me.”
“You’re destroying yourself Y/N!”
“No. The illness is destroying me. Have you seen me?”
He let you down.
“Stop it, you’re beautiful.”
“Have you really seen me?”
You took a step back and barely lifted your shirt. There were some bruises and scabs of dry skin.
“That,” you said, shaking the small bag, “is the closest I’ve ever been to forgetting the appalling thing that’s happening to me. Don’t take it from me.”
He grabbed the hand holding the bag, pulled you closed and put his lips on yours. Your eyes widened before you melted in the kiss, forgetting everything. When the kiss stopped you stayed frozen for a moment.
“How could you?”
“What?”
“All your doing is making my decision harder to take, how could you do this to me?!” you yelled.
You took your things and went straight home. You locked yourself in your room and looked at all the pictures stuck on your mirror. Daelan and you, Elena and you, the girls and you, your family… Damon and you. You went on your bed and covered yourself.
You woke up from the short nap you took when you heard knocking on your door.
“I’m fine,” your hoarse voice let out.
You heard a keychain and knew it was Jenna coming in.
“Hey… I brought your favourite food.”
“Thanks Jen, but I’m not hungry.”
“Okay, I’ll bring I back down,” she said, sitting down on your desk, “I told you to call me Y/N.”
“I didn’t want to worry you. The school called you?”
She hummed and came closer to caress your head.
“Show me your face Y/N.”
You shook your head.
“Y/N…”
You turned around and let her see you dilated pupils and the remaining red veins that the eye drops didn’t manage to tame. You turned back and hugged part of your cover, keeping away the tears that threatened to fall down.
“Mom?”
“…Yes Y/N?”
“Do you think you’ll hate me if I leave you?”
She went silent but you knew she was trying to hold her own tears. Of course, she knew something was wrong. She wasn’t your mom for nothing.
“Of course not. I would be… sad, of course. But I could never hate you,” she ended hugging you.