Chapter Text
November was the qualifying season.
Skye had almost forgotten. However her mother seemed to be preparing for it. Skye had stopped at the Crandall house to change clothes before meeting with Ajay. The house was quiet except for her mother, who was sitting at the marble kitchen table reading through folders with a strangely excited smile on her face. When she spotted Skye she gave her a look that seemed more fitting of a child seeing their favorite doll.
“I found you a new coach for this season.”
Skye didn’t particularly know what was wrong with her last coach, but every season it seemed her mother fired and re-hired a new coach to train her through her short and long program skates. However, her “short” program was always the same. Ironically for the last two years she had used the same short program regardless of who taught her. A choreographic piece by Victor Nikiforov to the song In Regards To Love - Eros .
“You start today, be at the Cedar Cove Ice Rink at three.”
Her mother doesn’t even look at her when delivering the command. She was probably still angry that Skye hadn’t passed the qualifiers last year. At the beginning, Skye’s mom had been enthusiastic to discover Skye’s interest in the sport. As soon as she possibly could she signed Skye up for lessons and it quickly became their thing. It was hard for Skye to explain, but she had looked forward to her lessons, because that was the one time where her mother would drop everything to spend time with her. It made Skye want to work hard, want to make her mom proud so she’d keep coming and watching Skye skate.
Her mother would smile at her whenever her teacher praised Skye for her hard work and her skill as she quickly got better. Her mom would rest a hand on her shoulder and proudly soak in all the appraisal Skye got. Until Skye started competing. As hard as Skye worked, her first year had been less than ideal, at least to her mother. Skye struggled with the new advanced schedule, working extra hours in the rink in attempts to master each and every step. It resulted in bloodied ankles and sore feet from hours on her skates. Her first year, she just missed scoring high enough for Nationals.
Ice skating was very different from any of the sports Brian played and Skye’s first year had been a learning experience. It wasn’t like a high school sport where Skye would skate alongside other high schoolers. Ice Skating was broken down by rank and by age. Skye competed in Novice, which ended up working in her favor as she was one of the older kids in the novice rank, meaning many of the kids weren’t as serious as her coach had been with her. So qualifying for Regionals had been fairly easy with the programs she skated. At Regionals, though, Skye hadn’t placed high enough to move on.
At first, her coach wouldn’t take any of the blame when her parents' rage sparkled. After all, it was her first year competing, what had her parents expected? Skye hadn’t been on the ice for a full year, so there was no way she would have made it all the way to nationals, let alone internationals like her parents wanted. Her coach eventually got fed up and quit on the spot.
Her second year was worse in some ways. On one hand, her new coach was better at targeting Skye’s weaker areas, such as jumps, and focused on conditioning her so she could move like the other skaters her age. It ended up enabling her parents' harsh management of her diet and forced Brian to share the family gym so Skye could work up the muscle groups needed to make her better at spins and jumps. As Skye got better, however, her mother decided that novice was too novice for Skye to compete in and demanded Skye skate in the Junior bracket. While her coach tried to argue that Skye couldn’t physically do the jumps required to compete well in that division, her mother had none of it. It forced Skye to work every day; Monday through Sunday. Conditioning, on ice, conditioning, on ice, back and forth until Skye didn’t have the energy to do anything else besides collapse on her bed and pass out for hours until she woke up the next day to do it all over again.
The exhaustion she had been in did not mince well with her mother’s insistence that Skye fast before competitions, the last thing she wanted was Skye throwing up on the ice, and resulted in Skye having one of the worst skates of her life. Her coach quit shortly after and her mother hadn’t spoken to her in a week.
Eventually, her mom stopped coming with her to the rink. Even on off-season days where Skye practiced to keep in shape for the coming season. She hadn’t even brought up anything about a coach until today, leaving Skye only weeks to prepare for qualifiers at the end of the month.
The conversation was over and Skye couldn’t tell whether or not her mom cared enough if she actually attended. Skye headed upstairs when her mother’s attention went back to whatever gossip magazine she was reading. She took a quick shower and changed before grabbing her skates on the way out.
***
The Java Lounge was exactly how Skye pictures a coffee place Ajay would frequent. The shop was decorated with beautiful dark hardwood with pops of brightly colored fabric couches, beech wood counter and tabletops and pendant lighting. Ajay was already seated at a booth when she stepped inside the shop. The older boy waved her over to his booth at the corner. As Skye walked up she noticed Ajay had taken up most of the space on the table with his laptop and textbooks.
“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, it’s a pain in the neck getting a waiter over here, so I ordered for you when I caught him,” Ajay explained as Skye sat across from him. He pushed over a short wide mug filled with a spice-scented beverage with a wave pattern etched into white foam, “I hope it’s okay, it’s a pumpkin spice cappuccino, and don’t tell anyone else in the theatre, but this is the only pumpkin spice thing that I’ll drink.”
Skye smiled faintly as Ajay nudged over another plate.
“Almond sugar cookies, I usually spend a few hours here at a time, so I stock up when I have the waiter’s attention.”
Skye took note of the array of pastries set out in front of Ajay.
“I never pegged you as someone with a sweet tooth.”
“I assure you I’m pickier than this gives me credit for. This cafe has more savory pastries that I enjoy. And I skipped lunch.”
“I can pay you back-”
“It’s my treat, I insist,” Ajay smiled and sipped at his fancy coffee, “you wanted to talk?”
“Yeah,” Skye looked down at the hot beverage in front of her. After a second she replayed the scene to Ajay slowly, nervously fidgeting with her hands as she spoke. As she finished the story she looked down waiting for Ajay’s response. After a few seconds she looked up to see Ajay’s eyebrows knitted together, his face scrunched in thought.
“I understand why that would alarm you, honestly, from what you’ve told me, I’d say you’ve pretty much uncovered a big part of Bailey’s story as far as why she’s in the support group to begin with. An empty, unused, room set up like that strikes me as something to indicate that part of her family is no longer with her.”
“But what do I do? Do I tell her what I saw? It feels weird just acting like nothing happened.”
“You said her father said something to you about helping Bailey face what happened yeah?”
Skye nodded.
“But it’s not like she’s hiding it. She’s said she wants to tell me once she can, and I can’t force her to.”
“It certainly puts you between a rock and a hard place,” Ajay nodded, “one on hand you want to honor Bailey’s privacy and let her come to you, but on the other hand her father wants you to open the door for Bailey to tell you.”
Skye let her shoulders drop as silence stretched between the two.
“Maybe, there’s a way to do both. Hear me out, what if you gave Bailey a gentle nudge to sign up for that therapy app that Mrs. Silva’s colleagues worked on? At the end of the day, if Bailey does need professional help coming to terms with something, then she needs help outside of what you or I could do for her.”
“So, how do I do that?”
“A good question,” Ajay thought for a moment, “when I started therapy it was because a...friend of mine had talked me into it after I completely blew up at the end of a Summer theatre production. She leveled with me, telling me in terms that would force me to understand that my mental health was affecting those around me almost as much as it affected me. That people cared about me and that they wanted me to take steps to have a better life. Sometimes it takes someone willing to be straightforward and honest with you to make you do something for yourself.”
Skye thought for a few seconds, she wasn’t so sure a similar method would work on Bailey, as if hearing her thoughts, Ajay started talking again.
“I don’t think Bailey needs as heavy of a hand as I did. My best recommendation would be to try to normalize it. Going to therapy is a normal thing and even people who don’t think they have issues should still look into it because sometimes their normal isn’t normal and it takes someone talking to them for them to realize that. Honestly if you mentioned to her that you were thinking of joining the app then maybe it would help her. I would be willing to let her know that I use it as well. Then it makes it seem less scary to be thinking of talking to a therapist.”
“If we joined together then it would help her?” Skye asked as she followed Ajay’s thoughts. The older boy nodded.
“It’s always less scary when you have someone else with you.”
Skye hummed, thinking it over for a few seconds. On one hand, she would take any reason to bail on the therapist her parents had hand picked for her and made her go to whenever she “acted out” on the other hand, she really didn’t want to get into it with another therapist. Skye was never one to really like talking to some stranger. It was clear though by the way Ajay was looking at her that he was going to keep trying to sell the idea to her until she agreed.
“I guess I could try it with her. I’m not sure how much time I can dedicate to it right now with the play… and the season starting up.”
“Season?”
“I ice skate. My mom makes me compete every year and that ends up taking up all my free time,” Skye explained a little ruefully. She didn’t hate the sport, at least she didn’t think she hated the sport. The pressure her mom put on her and how hard she knew she’d have to work weighed down on her as she went down the mental checklist of everything that she’d have to do before qualifiers.
“I see, Bailey had mentioned you did some sport when you took off like a bat out of hell during the 5K. I wasn’t expecting ice skating though,” Ajay admitted, “I pegged you as more a roller derby kinda girl.”
“Ha, my mom would lose her shit. Plus it wouldn’t look good at all the corporate dinners.”
“Rory and I tried to plan a play on ice once during a Summer production, but we quickly found out Rory and ice don’t really go together. I admit, I was really excited about the choreography I had planned before I found out Rory couldn’t skate and Clint almost gave himself a concussion.”
“Hell, I’d let you choreograph my performances, my parents usually pick from some already done Russian choreography paired with some music I’ve never heard of.”
Skye wasn’t sure if Ajay was serious about the proposal, at least until his eyes lit up in determination.
“Give me five minutes with your coach and I can sell them on it.”
“Oh..well… I don’t really know my coach yet for this season. My mom always fires them once the season is over. I’m supposed to meet my new coach today at three.”
“By yourself?” Ajay asked as he studied her for a few seconds, Skye only nodded, “I’m… going to go with you anyway. I don’t really like the idea of you meeting some stranger by yourself.”
***
The ice skating rink was mostly empty. Skye figured as much, her mom probably emptied the entire rink just for whatever hot-shot coach she had hired this season.
“I guess we’re early,” Skye hummed as they walked down towards the opening of the ice, “I guess that gives me time to warm up.”
“Go ahead, I’ll keep watch here,” Ajay offered as he walked over to the line of benches closest to the ice. Taking a seat and pulling out his computer. Skye dropped the bag with her skates on the floor as she put in her earbuds. The silence of the rink overbearing as she played some slower rock songs on her Musicfly as she stretched. After a several minutes Skye swapped out her combat boots for her skates. The pearl white finish already brought horrid flashbacks from last season.
The cold was more intense on the ice. The chill bit through Skye’s black leggings and through Bailey’s oversized sweater that Skye hasn’t returned yet. The lilac scent is barely clinging to the fabric, a subtle reminder of how long Skye had been hoarding it.
Skye skates around for a few minutes before pulling her phone out of her pocket and scrolling through her playlist. There was a video released after her season last year that she’d been mimicking the skating for practice. Since her mom didn’t follow her to the rink anymore, it gave her the freedom to learn and practice however she wanted. Skye queued up the song on her phone and moved to the center of the ice as if it were a mock performance.
Skye had a very love hate relationship with skating. When her mother or competitions were involved she hated every minute. But at times when she had the rink to herself during the summers when no one thought to skate were her favorites. She’d try to mimic her favorite skaters and skate out their routines. It was more freeing, she could choose the routine, alter it and bend it however she liked. That particular routine had quickly become a favorite of hers. It was mostly footwork and spins with a few jumps.
Skye moved to the memorized step sequence leading to the first jump. Skye glided almost effortlessly into a double axel, wincing as she landed. It was a subtle reminder that she chose everything about her routines and skating career, right down to the overpriced and one size too small skates.
It made jumps hurt more, and she couldn't land anything greater than a double or risk serious ankle pain. The landing leads her into another quick-paced step sequence. Step sequences were more her forte, it was something she did better with in skates that didn’t quite fit, and it was what she was praised for during her days competing. The sequence led up to a layback spin that converted halfway to a tighter more upright spin.
As soon as she came to a stop, she noticed that there was someone else over by Ajay watching her skate. A fairly young looking woman who couldn’t have been much older than thirty with white blonde hair. Skye shifted a little more sheepishly before gliding over.
“Your skates don’t fit,” Was the first thing the stranger said before offering Skye her hand over the wall separating the ice from the first round of seating, “Coach Kudryavka Norgaard, Coach Laika for short, and yes I’m aware of the irony, my mother was very found of space trivia. I’m here on behalf of Mr. Katsuki. He’s assigned me to coach you this season. You’re Skye, I pulled your old competition tapes from previous qualifiers. For someone who started skating rather late, your step sequences and spins are above average. Your jumps however are a little lacking. But that may be because you’ve never owned a pair of skates that properly fit you.”
The woman had a slight accent, and she was far more brazen then some of Skye’s other coaches. Her dark brown eyes glanced over the ice again before speaking.
“I assure you, that doesn’t surprise me. The second your mom started bragging about the brand of skate you wore, Mr. Katuski noted that you’d need to be fitted for new ones. Brand names are nice and all if that brand is sponsoring you to wear their skates and has you properly fitted, but skates mean nothing if they don’t fit properly.”
Ajay looked a bit lost, but he had stood up when Skye skated over, taking in the conversation and glancing briefly at Skye to see if she would fill in the blanks for him.
“Your boyfriend?” Kudryavka asked as she gestured to Ajay.
“No, he’s just a friend.”
“And possible choreographer. Ajay Bhandari, we met in theatre and I have a history of choreography for theatrical productions.”
“You don’t have to sell me on it, kid. Frankly if a student of mine wants an outside source to choreography their long program I have no issue with it. I am keeping control of the short program and I have to approve the long program. You may have some experience in theatre, but in Ice Skating there is a technical judging aspect.”
“So I can pick my long program?” Skye asked, a little shocked by the freedom. Typically she picked nothing, it was all her mother.
“Long programs are more about the skater, they should possess your personality, your style of skating, and show off your ability as a skater. So I am giving you creative freedom to create something on your own. You choose music, and I can help you and Ajay come up with the choreography. Keep in mind the requirements for the competition,” Kudryavka glanced between the two seeming to note the confusion on Ajay’s face, “You have questions?”
“Short program and long program,” Ajay started, “those are different?”
“Short program is the first part of an ice skating competition. It’s under three minutes and typically requires several elements. You can leave that to me, although your parents are pushing rather hard for you to skate Eros again. I, however, disagree with that decision. I believe I’ve sold them on a different choreography. It’s to my understanding that your father is a fan of Victor Nikiforov, so I’ve talked to them about changing the piece from Eros to Agape . I feel that would be a better fit and it’s very poor to use the same short program for many years. ” Kudryavka took a breath, “I apologize, this is a lot of information, how about we go over something needed for the long program so Ajay can think on that while he takes you to get new skates.”
Kudryavka pulled an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Ajay.
“The first deposit for coaching usually goes towards new skates since many amature and junior level skaters haven’t been properly fitted. I have a friend who works at a local sports shop. You want to ask for the Jackson Artiste Series, they need to be tested for advanced freestyle, and try to pick a neutral color, black or white so they’ll match with whatever outfit is put together for the two programs.”
Ajay was sold at the mention of shopping. His eyes lit up in a way Skye had only previously seen when Sydney mentioned new props or costume pieces.
“Long programs this season require at least one axel jump, no more then three spins, only one step sequence, and I would keep the jump combinations at two for now.”
Kudryavka went over a few more things with Ajay before setting up an official first lesson. Ajay and Skye left the rink and headed over to the sports store Kudryavka had told them to go to have Skye properly fitted for skates. The shop was rather small, various winter themed sports supplies decorated the front window display as they walked in, quickly being greeted by the shopkeeper at the front counter.
“Hey there folks, how can I help you today?”
“Ice skates, fitting and we’re supposed to tell you that we’re interested in the Jackson Artiste Series?” Ajay spit out the info as the shopkeep tilted his head.
“You’re Laika’s students?”
“Just her,” Ajay gestured to Skye, “she said you were the guy to talk to about new skates?”
“Yeah, Laika and I used to compete together, she sends her students here all the time,” The shopkeep smiled as he walked around the counter. He looked to be around the same age as Kudryavka, maybe a year or two older with styled brown hair and dark eyes. He walked with a bit of a limp, and as he got closer his nametag became more visible. The name Hori was printed in large letters across his manager tag, “We can get you fitted, the Jacksons are over here.”
Ajay browsed the selves as Skye was measured for skates.
“How do you and Coach Kudryavka know each other?” Skye asked in the silence, feeling a bit more awkward in silence.
“Laika and I competed together, we were rivals all through high school. I shattered my knee my first year of college and had to retire early. Laika competed up until a few years ago, then she started coaching and once I got the shop set up we kinda went into business together. She sends all her students here.”
“Did Coach Laika get hurt too?” Ajay asked from his space near a rack of skates.
“No, it’s pretty normal for figure skaters to retire early, you won’t find many of us past thirty competing. After a while you just can't jump as high as you used to. Figure skating is very much a young person’s sport,” Hori explained as he took down a few notes, “Jacksons can run small, you’d fit in a seven. I’d try a six too since that’s closest to your normal shoe size. Why anyone thought you'd fit in a four is beyond me. Take a look at the styles on the shelf there and let me know if you guys need any help.”
Hori smiled and excused himself as the bell over the door rang to signal another customer. Skye stood and looked over at the wall of white pearlized skates. She never really got to pick out her own skates before, her mother usually had them specially ordered. It felt like a little rebellion, being allowed to pick her own without her mother over her shoulder or breathing down her neck.
“How about these?” Ajay asked from the other side of the low shelf, holding up a black skate with a pearlized white sole, “they say ‘Jackson Supreme’ on them and they’re near the Artiste Series skates.”
They were beautiful skates, matte ebony with matching stitching and black laces, the inside of the skates flashed a similar pearlized white as the sole of the skate. Despite herself, Skye smiled a bit.
“Do they come in a seven?”
“And a six,” Ajay offered as he carried over both boxes.
After purchasing the proper size and having Hori take a few moments to install the blades the two walked back out into the cool November air, Ajay carrying the bag as he checked his phone with his other hand.
"You'll have to send me skaters you like so I can get an idea of what kind of program to put together. I guess you have to choose music too."
Skye nodded.
"I'm kind of excited, I've never gotten to pick any of my programs before," Skye hummed, "I can carry that."
Skye gestured to the bag and Ajay shook his head.
"Indulge me, Rory never lets me carry anything when we're out shopping."
"Why not?"
"Probably because of my leg," Ajay sighed, "Rory's a good friend, don't tell them I said that, but Rory is just one of those people who would rather overcompensate for you rather than let you try to overcome something. Since they found out about my leg, they've been going out of their way to make sure I didn't have to do any heavy lifting. Or if I had to run to another classroom or backstage for anything, Rory volunteers immediately to do it for me."
"Mr. Jackson was saying something similar. About how Rory protects Bailey instead of helping her face what happened."
"Rory doesn't do it to be malicious, but they're not really helping either. I don't know how to talk to Rory about it, especially since they always brush it off as not a problem. It’s like they misinterpreted the issue as me not wanting to be a burden while I’m really just trying to tell them not to touch my stuff."
Ajay let out an exhausted sigh, running his free hand through his black hair for a moment.
"It's hard to tell something that they're being annoying when their intent is to be nice. I haven't seemed to be able to convince Rory that I can do things myself, which is more annoying than anything else."
"Do you wish you hadn't told Rory about your leg?"
"No, everyone would have found out eventually. I just wish there was a way to talk to them that would sink in."
"Maybe you just have to be more blunt about it," Skye offered as they turned the corner, the street getting busier as they passed more and more shops. Early Christmas shoppers buzzed around with large shopping bags.
"But then Rory will get upset, and I don't want to be an unnecessary ass to them. I've told them before how it made me feel when they do stuff for me like that, and they'll stop for a bit, but then old habits don't seem to die and we're back in a cycle of Rory over helping and me trying not to think murderous thoughts."
"This is my stop," Ajay said as he stopped at the bus stop and handed Skye her bag, "think about what I said about Bailey and about the therapy. I think it could help both of you and it'll give you a clear head for skating."
"Yeah, thanks. See you tomorrow."
Ajay smiled before his phone buzzed loudly. The older boy moved at almost lightning speed to grab it, grinning madly as he read what was on the screen.
"You're smiling like a weirdo again," Skye smirked as Ajay's head whipped up as if he had forgotten she was there, "your 'friend' again?"
"Her name is Grace," Ajay muttered as his face grew warm and changed color, "and that's confidential information so don't you dare tell anyone."
Skye only smiled and nodded as Ajay went back to his phone, the smile quickly creeping back to his face.
***
Skye was almost starting to look forward to Monday nights. It meant she got to see Bailey for another hour or two before the day's end. They fell into their usual routine of sitting next to each other and chatting while they waited for Ajay and Rory to join them.
"Did you find anything for your grounding box?"
Honestly, Skye had completely forgotten about it. So when Bailey had asked Skye had to hesitate a moment to remember what the box was in the first place.
"I don't think I'm very good at figuring out what to put in it," Skye admitted, "I looked through my old box of stuff from when I lived in the hospital too and couldn't really think of anything."
Bailey nodded a look of relief on her face.
"I have that problem too, I did find something though! It's an essential oil I've been addicted to lately."
Bailey shyly pulled a small bottle from her purse and handed it to Skye for inspection. The label is worn but Skye can smell the faint aroma coming from the bottle. It was a classic rose scent.
“It smells nice,”
“Yeah, I’ve been really into floral scents lately, this one is my favorite,” Bailey’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she took the offered bottle back and slipped it into her bag, “I like floral scents like this, I think they’re really pretty, like laying outside by a garden.”
Skye felt herself nodding before she could stop it, her mind immediately going back to the lavender scented sweater she still had. She should give it back to Bailey soon.
"I still have your sweater, I forgot to give it back to you."
Bailey thought for a moment, as if forgetting she lent it to Skye in the first place.
"That's okay, it gives me an excuse to invite you over again."
Bailey smiled sheepishly as Rory and Ajay walked in, bickering at their usual volume as they sat down. They stopped their banter to greet the other two members of the circle before Mrs. Silva rolled herself around the circle, an unusually large amount of balloons taped to her chair. Mrs. Silva’s smile lit up her face as she took her spot at the head of the group.
"Today we're going to do something fun!" Mrs. Silva announced, "we had some serious talks last week about mental health and went over some options for dealing with stress. This week we're going to play a game to help get rid of any pent up stress and frustration. Now what I had originally thought to do was to have everyone write something on pieces of paper and to let our stressors fly into the night. But it's a cold night and I thought it'd be more fun to take a little field trip to the beach and instead of balloons, we're going to toss all our stress into a bonfire."
"Yes," Ajay sat up, suddenly very interested, "toss Rory into the fire."
"Paper, Ajay, we're writing stressors on paper!"
Skye snickered as the group quickly stood up in excitement at the idea of going on a field trip to the beach.
It's an unusual transporting situation, since Mrs. Silva couldn't drive in her wheelchair, she seemed to have a driver and van come to the school to help her out. The driver smiled brightly when the group meandered out.
"Well, this is a nice little group you have now."
"Everyone; this is my husband, Martin, he will be our escort on our field trip."
Martin Silva was a tall man with the same dark copper toned skin and charismatic smile as Rory. The beach was only a twenty minute drive from the school. As soon as the car pulled up the group branched out, gathering firewood or prepping the area to start the file. It was then that Skye realized that she really couldn’t remember anyone’s name outside of Bailey, Rory, and Ajay. There were ten total members of the group. Aside from the theatre kids there was a quieter boy a few grades ahead named Brackett. Skye only managed to draw his name because he had been chatting loudly with another boy named Chase while they were in the van. Aside from them there was a group of three other girls who’s names weren’t coming to Skye and a taller senior boy who mostly kept to himself.
Mrs. Silva made herself comfortable by the area chosen for their fire. Mr. Silva helped dig out the area while everyone scavenged for wood, a pile of shoes kicked off around the pit as people started exploring the beach as they searched for dry wood. Bailey had walked off towards the water, pacing across the sand a few feet from where the waves stretched out across the sand so as to not get touched with cold water. She looked over her shoulder as Skye walked over, smiling gently as Skye fell into step next to her.
“I don’t think you’re going to find much usable wood near the water.”
Bailey hummed as she glanced at the waves, a little bit of a nervous energy around her as she fidgeted with her hands a bit.
“You never know, there could be driftwood,” Bailey reasoned as they walked, “I’m kind of nervous too.”
“Nervous about what?”
Bailey shrugged, thinking over her words for a moment.
“It’s… hard to talk about things that stress me out, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining or anything. Which probably sounds weird since I’m in this support group to begin with.”
“I don’t think it’s complaining,” Skye offered, “More like venting. Which is supposed to be healthy I think. But I’m no therapist.”
“I hate therapists,” Bailey muttered, “I’ve never seen one I liked, they all say the same thing.”
“I’ve only ever seen one. And that’s only because she’s got some weird crush on my dad and somehow charmed him into keeping her hired.”
“Gross,” Bailey’s nose wrinkled and Skye mimicked the disgust, “you’re dad’s old.”
“I’ve been tempted to try the app Mrs. Silva talked about last week though,” Skye added cleverly, thinking back to her conversation with Ajay, “Just to talk to someone different, and because I think it would be good for me. But I don’t really want to do it alone?”
Bailey stared at her for a minute and Skye felt herself tense under the gaze, afraid Bailey might get angry at the idea of her and Skye signing up for the app together. But after a moment Bailey’s expression softened.
“Therapy only works when you’re willing to talk about what’s wrong,” Bailey’s voice came out softly, almost unhearable, “it’s so hard to talk about, I need to be able to do that before anyone can help, if they even wanted to.”
The haunting image of the empty room came back to Skye, and she instantly felt guilt.
“Hey, Bailey?”
“Guys! The fire’s started, come back this way!” Rory’s voice drowned out Skye’s. Bailey flashed Skye a gentle smile before starting back over to the rest of the group. Skye followed closely at her heels as the group settled around the growing fire. Mrs. Silva smiled as Mr. Silva excused himself from the group and headed back towards the parking lot. The two sit next to Ajay, who’s actively throwing page after page into the fire, a manic look in his eyes as the fire eats the paper to ash.
“Ajay, is that your math homework?” Bailey asked as Skye settled into the spot next to her. Skye felt Rory hover for a second before sitting on the opposite side of Ajay.
“It’s old math homework,” Ajay said as he crumpled a few more pages. Math certainly was stressful for Ajay, but he looked rather happy to be burning some own assignments.
"As I've said before, today we're going to let go of some stress by writing down our stressors and tossing them into the fire as Ajay is so generously demonstrating. However, I ask that everyone shares at least one stressor that they send into the fire.”
Paper was passed out and most of the group started writing things down. A few people spoke up, talking about exams, their anxiety, and a few of the older students pointed out their stress with SATs and college applications. Most of it was normal stressors, so it quickly eased whatever tension built up after Mrs. Silva announced that she’d like for everyone to share at least one.
“I wish I wasn’t as thick headed last year,” Ajay muttered as he tossed a piece of paper into the fire, “I ended up making someone I cared about worry about me because I went off yelling about how I wished I had never complained about my leg. That way my cancer was never caught early and my parents wouldn’t be fighting as much as they did over hospital costs and so on. It was wrong of me to think my death would have been better for my family then speaking up about what was going on.”
“I’m sure they understand,” Mrs. Silva offered, “anger and resentment take many forms, what’s important is that you see how destructive that behavior was, and look how far you’ve come.”
Ajay, to his credit, blushed a bit as he looked at the flame.
“Ajay’s worked really hard,” Rory started, “To overcome a lot, and I think Ajay’s a great example of someone who’s really overcome some of the worst of themselves. I’m really proud of him for it.”
Ajay stammered out some kind of response, getting a teasing laugh from Rory in return.
“Aww, I broke Ajay with my kind and gentle words.”
“S-shut up.”
Ajay blushed for a few more seconds as Rory teased him for a moment more, the rest of the group chucked a little at their usual antics. Skye stared at the fire. Ajay had been very open about what was going on in his mind with them, was it because he went through so much already? He had time to process and learn with Mrs. Silva and Rory beside him to help him grow. And then there was this mysterious Grace character that made Ajay smile wider than anyone else.
Ajay looked like he'd had enough attention for one night, Skye scribed something down and tossed the paper into the fire.
“I… regret having this feeling that it’s my fault that I needed an organ transplant,” Skye started, slowly and quietly, her words resisting as she pushed them through her throat, “it’s hard to explain. But I feel responsible for someone having to die for me to get the transplant I needed.”
“A vital organ then?” Ajay asked as his gaze softened, Skye could feel his eyes on her as well as Rory and Bailey’s.
“I was diagnosed with chronic heart failure when I was a kid. I was told I was supposed to die and that my heart wouldn’t last me that long. That getting a new heart was unlikely because of how young I was. But then one day I was rushed into the ER, and then when I woke up, for the first time in a really long time I was able to breathe. But then I realized, the only reason I could get that transplant, was because someone had to die first… Sometimes it feels like I killed them, even though I have no idea who they are.”
“Like some kind of fate thing?” Rory asked softly. Skye wasn’t sure, so she just shrugged.
“It doesn’t feel fair, that someone had to die.”
“Skye, you’re not the reason someone died,” Ajay offered softly, “things happen that are out of our control, they’re not reflections of you. You don’t have to feel responsible for that.”
Rory pulled something out of their pocket as they stood up and walked around. They sat in front of Skye as they pulled a card from their wallet and handed it to her. Skye took it and after a moment realized it was a driver's license.
“I don’t know if this helps, but try to keep in mind, you didn’t steal anyone’s life or their organs. organ donors consent to helping people in case they die,” Rory pointed to a small “D” on their license, “This icon means that in case I die, it lets the doctors know that I’ve consented to donating my organs, eyes, or tissue to save someone else's life. You can’t steal something that someone said you could have.”
Skye started at the icon, truthfully no one had really explained to her that organ donors were a thing, that people consented to having their organs donated when they died rather than having doctors just harvest them when they needed them when someone died. The way her parents always talked to her about it made it seem like… Skye had stolen something, like she was a thief or had something to do with someone needing to die. As if the doctors had been paid off to let someone die so that she could live.
Skye had never once thought that someone outside of her parents had something to do with her receiving a heart. Her parents always made it seem like they paid for it, that they had gotten in by throwing some money around, so Skye never thought that it was something like that. It was a strange, overwhelming feeling of relief. Before Skye can process it, her eyes are blurring with tears. Skye felt someone’s hand wrap around her wrist gently. She turned to see Bailey had moved closer, resting her hand on Skye’s as the redhead started to shake.
Skye spent so many years feeling like a murderer. That the idea that she had been wrong the entire time stunned her to a strange, happy, remorseful silence. Rory gently took their license back before leaning up on their knees to wrap their arms around Skye’s shoulders gently. It’s a quick hug and it clearly wasn't on par with a Bailey hug. Rory seemed to be doing it more because it seemed like something they should do instead of then genuinely wanting to. It was highlighted by the not so subtle way Rory glanced over at Bailey, almost like they wanted Bailey to see how sincere and nice they could be to Skye. Rory returned to their seat. The circle fell into silence, a comfortable one as people turned their attention to the fire, giving Skye a second to relax without a stressful gaze on her.
Bailey had reached over to touch Skye's arm, cleaning closer with a mixed look of determination and fear in her eyes.
"Don't let Rory stop me," it's barely a breath against Skye's ear before Bailey's hand disappeared and the blonde stared into the flame, much like Skye had before, "I regret being the reason my brother's dead."
It was loud, angry, sad, hurt. The words left Bailey's throat in a rush as Rory almost immediately stood up. Skye doesn't know when she moved, but within a second she had positioned herself between the two, stopping Rory in their tracks with a confused look.
"It was so stupid," Bailey's voice turned strained against the words, "we were arguing about who could sled down the huge hill on Elm Street faster. You're not supposed to slide down the hill, because of how steep it was and how bad traffic was towards the bottom. But it was quiet and we thought it'd be okay, so we lined up our sleds and started racing down anyway. We were about halfway when I finally chickened out and jumped off the sled. Casey kept going, and all of a sudden this parked car on the street swung their door open and caught Casey and knocked him off his sled and into the snow."
"Bailey, stop, you don't have to-"
"Rory," Ajay's voice cut in, a bit of a protective edge to it as Rory tried stepping closer to Skye and Bailey, "wait, let her finish."
"Casey was bleeding, he hit his head really hard when he fell back. The man that stepped out of the car just kept screaming at him because his sled scratched the door of the car. We didn't know what to do so we ran. Casey started getting sick, he started throwing up as we made our way home. His winter cap was sponging up the blood from the back of his head. We barely got back to the diner when he collapsed. Our mom ran out and called 911. He was rushed to the hospital and the doctors said he was brain dead due to how hard his head was hit. Apparently it bounced off the car door and then slammed back, his brain took heavy damage and blood was pooling in his skull. He didn't make it through the night."
The entire beach felt like it had stopped. Bailey's voice, Skye never heard it like that before.
"The first thing they asked my parents once they confirmed he was brain dead, was if they would consent to him being an organ donor. Apparently he met all the criteria but he was too young to consent on his own, so my parents would have to for him. I hated the idea that he would be cut open and they'd take parts of him and put them in other people."
Bailey’s voice grew softer until it fell silent. After a moment Skye felt Bailey’s hand gently take her own, giving her a tug back onto the log they were sharing. Skye sat beside her, her knee bumping Bailey’s as the other girl absentmindedly played with her fingers.
“How does it feel?” Ajay asked suddenly as Mrs. Silva wheeled herself closer, “To get all that off your chest? Both of you?”
Bailey turned her head, catching Skye’s eyes for a few minutes. Emerald eyes searched Skye’s for a few moments before answering.
“Scary and a little nerve wracking,” Bailey admitted, she took a deep breath as her hand tightened around Skye’s, “but, I said it, so there’s no going back.”
“Saying it out loud means you were able to overcome part of it, no matter how small. It’s not acceptance per say, but it does mean you’re not allowing it to control you. You are in control of it.”
It was like watching a weight be lifted from Bailey’s shoulders. Skye watched as the other girl settled into a slightly more comfortable position, though her hand didn’t leave Skye’s. The group moved on to ghost stories, a few of them were tales from others' own time in the hospital. Rory didn’t rejoin the circle, settling for a free space in the area behind Ajay.
“Do you ever wonder what kind of person you got your heart from,” Bailey asked quietly as they enjoyed the dulling ambers of the fire, “sorry, that sounded weird,”
“No, it’s okay, I get what you mean. Honestly, yes. I’ve wondered what kind of person they were. But I don’t think there’s a way for me to find out. It’s not like the hospital could tell me I don’t think. It’d be nice though, to properly pay respects to them if I could.”
“I wondered what kind of people got Casey’s organs, in a strange way it’s like parts of him are still around… I can’t tell if it’s a comforting thought or not.”
“I feel like it’d feel weird,” Ajay mused, “like if I got a leg from another person I don’t think I’d want to meet that person’s family. I feel like they’d be weirdly attached to me because of my connection to who they lost.”
“True, I’ve read too many articles about people going crazy when they meet the recipient of their passed loved ones organs,” Skye added, “like I don’t want people touching me because I have someone else's heart.”
“I guess people could get weird,” Bailey agreed, “like my dad read an article once of a mother and father listening to the heartbeat of a recipient of their son’s heart and the guy just looked so uncomfortable in the picture of these two people leaning on his chest listening to the heartbeat.”
“I’d flip, I wouldn’t want strangers touching me, that’s why I said pay respects not actually meet them.”
“I think it’s hard for people still grieving, they want to hold on and I think it only makes the person feel weird, like they took something. You did say you felt like you were responsible for someone’s death because you got their heart, but at the end of the day, it’s your heart. Not theirs. You shouldn’t let other people tell you differently just because they’re grieving.”
“That’s a good point,” Bailey agreed, “I wouldn’t want to make the person who got Casey’s organs feel weird. As much as I hated the idea at first, I think my parents made the right choice saying yes. Just because we were losing Casey didn’t mean someone else should die too. They were probably patients like Skye. I guess I’ve just been really curious. He’d probably be really happy to learn he got to save people in the end. It’d be nice to see who he saved.”
“That’s a very positive way to feel about it,” Mrs. Silva smiled, “Casey may be physically gone, but his spirit, his laughter, his memory. Those things you’ll always have. They can’t be lost just because parts of him were used to help others.”
“I think knowing would also make me feel better about the idea of him… you know… Maybe one day I could find someone and then I can see for sure.”
“You haven’t talked this much about Casey in a while.” Rory pointed out from their spot.
“It… feels good. To be able to talk about him without making people sad, I feel like my parents get so upset sometimes, I don’t want to bring him up and hurt them more. But here, it’s different.”
“You can vent to us whenever you want.”
Ajay’s voice took on it’s usual protective, almost paternal tone. Bailey smiled, relief and sadness filling her face as the group fell back into casual chatter until the cold became too much and the fire slowly died out.
***
The next day was rehearsal. Bailey seemed almost lighter, It wasn’t hard to notice that the other girl felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Skye couldn’t help but smile along with her whenever the blonde passed her backstage, flashing her a dorky smile that was impossible to not give in to. Bailey had also been hitting her lines better today, her tone and delivery more on point today then it had been in previous weeks. Even Ajay looked just slightly impressed, but Ajay had looked unusually happy today. Skye caught him grinning at his phone a few times. A huge happy grin that seemed uncharacteristic on Ajay’s face to anyone who didn’t know about the secret friend on the other end of the phone.
Clint and Natalie were surprisingly catching on, Skye heard them muttering about how weirdly happy Ajay was today. Everyone seemed to be a little lighter, with the exception of Rory, who strangely seemed a little more down then usual.
After one more scene Bailey ducked backstage, grabbing a drink from the vending machine while Skye waited on Trevor’s signal to test out some new motion sensor that he wanted to incorporate into the lights for a particular scene.
“You seem really happy today,” Skye offered with a smile as Bailey chugged her can of lemonade.
“It’s weird, I didn’t think I’d feel like this after telling everyone about Casey,” Bailey mused quietly, “But, saying everything out loud, it helped in a weird way. I feel like I’m not trying to hide something anymore. I feel like I’m just having a really good day.”
“That’s good,” Skye said softly, “you deserve it.”
Bailey blushed for a moment before Trevor called over from his spot.
“Ok, I think I have it set up, do me a favor and stand where Rory usually does for their monologue scene? Ajay says Rory left early.”
Skye nodded and walked across the stage, standing at the first position of The Knight’s monologue. After a moment she heard Trevor let out a growl.
“It’s not turning on, hey try turning towards stage left and raising your arm like Rory does.”
Skye did as she was told, but still no light. She could see Trevor scratch his head through his beanie on the side. Honestly, Skye hadn’t been sold on this motion spotlight idea to begin with, it seemed to be something that could easily go wrong if Rory stepped wrong, but she’d feel bad if she completely turned down the idea since Trevor hadn’t gotten to work on many of his ideas since they started the play.
“Maybe I have it wired wrong.”
“Maybe your stand-in isn’t tall enough!”
It was a different voice. One that was oddly familiar and yet Skye’s brain can’t really place it. After a moment she felt someone lift her up almost effortlessly, Trevor’s stupid spotlight lit up as the voice behind her chuckled.
“Put me down!”
Skye threw her arm back, annoyed as the stranger dropped her back to her feet and backed up with his hands up. When Skye turned to throw a glare at her attacker, she found herself hesitating. The boy flashed her an all to familiar smile. He’s flanked by a startled looking Rory.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. It’s been a while though.”
Skye should know him, she feels like she does. He continued to smile at her as she tried to piece it together. He was tall with dark tanned toned skin similar to Rory’s and styled brown hair. She didn’t have to think too long because Bailey came flying from her left.
“Mateo!”
“Bailey!”
The two hug for a moment as some of the other theatre kids gather. After a second the name registered in Skye’s head. Mateo. Hospital Mateo. Boston Edenbrook Hospital Mateo who used to sneak her pudding when he raided the cafeteria and used to chat with her on the off times she was actually awake to chat.
“Who’s this?” Danielle asked as Mateo and Bailey started quickly chatting.
“This is my cousin Mateo, he’s visiting to look at colleges this weekend.”
“How do you know Skye?” Bailey finally asked as she looked over to the redhead.
“Oh, we were neighbors at Edenbrook’s pediatric wing for a bit.” Mateo said as he waved off the question, “Anyway, Rory’s been telling me all about this play everyone’s doing, I’m really looking forward to seeing it.”
“You’re going to stay to see it?”
“Yeah, since I have some college visits lined up my folks decided I should lend a hand at Rory’s for a bit, so I’ll be here to watch the show.”
Mateo continued to make small talk with the cast and crew. Bailey slipped away after a minute and appeared at Skye's side.
"You and Mateo are friends?"
"Not really, Mateo came to visit me when I wasn't allowed or able to leave my room. He's really Rory's cousin?" Skye asked as she glanced back and forth between the two, they did look similar so it wasn't such a strange thing for them to end up being related.
"Yeah, back when me and Rory were kids, Mateo would come around to play with us from time to time. He's a great storyteller and he made up all sorts of games when we were kids."
They two looked back at the group, seeing Mateo had already captivated the theatre crew with a hospital anecdote.
"There I was, my cancer infected liver confiding me to a bed and only being served vanilla pudding-"
"How do you and Skye know each other? You met in the hospital?"
It was, of course, Danielle pushing again. Mateo frowned a bit, clearly hurt that his tale was being interrupted.
"Yeah, I was diagnosed with potentially fatal liver cancer so I spent about six months in the hospital. Sorry again about picking you up without asking, I always get a little carried away meeting friends outside of the hospital scene."
Mateo directed that statement to Skye, who shrugged it off.
"I wasn't aware you two knew each other," Rory added.
"My parents went to Boston a lot for business, so when they did that I ended up there."
Danielle still had a prying look in her eyes. Skye could see it clear as day, as if a snake were trying to stare Mateo down for more information. Her cold words about Rory only hanging out with Skye because they felt sorry for her buzzed into Skye’s skull for a moment as she watched Danielle force her face from annoyed to curious. The girl was clearly trying to put on an act of being ignorant rather than admit she just wanted some detail to embarrass or use against Skye later.
“Enough, that’s no one’s business,” Ajay stepped in, his usual stern tone paired with his trademark glare quickly turned Danielle away from farther prying. Skye felt a bit of relief in that. It had been so much easier to say everything in the support group, being in front of a pack of theatre kids felt so much scarier.
"Why don't we all grab a bite? I know this great little dinner that serves the best pancakes in Cedar Cove!"
Mateo wrapped an arm around Bailey and Skye's shoulders as he started walking and describing the Golden Griddle like it was a lost treasure no one had heard of.
"Sounds like fun," Erin laughed as her, Natalie, and Clint trailed behind with Rory. Ajay and Trevor close behind. Ajay talked with the boy Jordan had brought them a few days ago to work on the music for the play. Skye couldn’t remember his name as Mateo continued to lead them down the hall.
Bailey looked so happy, her smile lit up the hall as she traded bad jokes with Mateo. She looked so pretty with that smile on her face, Skye thought before slipping out from Mateo's grip.
"Be right back, I'll meet you guys outside."
"Okay," Ajay called as Skye turned the corner around the rows of lockers. Skye pulled the pack of sticky notes out of her pocket and her pen. She scribbled her impulsive message onto the note with a sketch of a shooting star. As she turned down another familiar hallway she checked over her shoulder before slipping the sticky note into Bailey's locker before she could chicken out like she had last time.
With another shy smile she jogged back around the building to meet everyone else at the parking lot.
***
Skye realized as their merry gang trampled into the Golden Griddle that she had never been out to dinner with friends before. It was something Brian always bragged about, where he went with his football or baseball friends, what girls came with them, who’s numbers they got. This had a much different feel then Skye had imagined based on her brother’s tales.
Mateo leads the group to a booth in the corner, Mrs. Jackson laughed as the Theatre club settled into the comfortable red-clothed seats. They ended up being seated: Danielle, Rory, Bailey, Mateo, and Erin on one side while Clint, Trevor, Natalie, Skye, and Ajay occupied the other side. Mateo had a very familiar presence as he captivated the rest of the theatre group with his tales of life in the hospital. It was easy now to see how him and Rory were similar. They fell into a rhythm of Mateo and Rory telling stories as Mrs. Jackson walked up smiling, passing out milkshakes.
“It’s been so long since we’ve seen you, Mateo!”
“It’s really good to see you too Mama J,” Mateo flashed a bright smile, “I only wish I could’ve come by sooner to celebrate being officially in remission.”
“Your mother was telling me! How amazing it was to have the chemo work after so many months,” Mrs. Jackson said in awe, “I’m so happy for you. It must be so exciting to be getting ready to graduate high school and head off to college.”
“Yeah, I mean I’m excited to look at all kinds of colleges, but I haven’t decided where to go yet. I’m thinking of going to college closer to home, but there are some colleges out here that have really good doctor programs that I want to check out.”
“That’s right, your mom told me you wanted to go to medical school and become a doctor,” Mrs. Jackson nodded as she spoke, “that’s an ambitious goal, it suits you. You always did like to push yourself.”
“Aw, Mama J, you’re gonna make me blush. I’m just excited to see so many new places, and to see Rory and all their friends in their play in a few weeks.”
Mrs. Jackson and Mateo went back and forth a bit more, expressing their excitement over Mateo’s remission and the upcoming play. Mrs. Jackson excused herself to take care of a few other tables and give them a few more minutes to decide what they want to order.
“I really can’t imagine everything,” Danielle started as Mateo finished another tale, “You lived in the hospital that long?”
“Yeah, my cancer was pretty bad, and when the chemo didn’t work right away I got put on a list to wait for a liver donor, but then all of a sudden the chemo started working and the tumors got smaller until I was able to have surgery to remove them completely. Honestly, I’m really happy the chemo kicked in, I was pretty scared being on the donor list.”
“Scared you’d never get a donor?” Erin asked cautiously as Mateo shook his head.
“Scared of having to think about how I got a transfer because someone died,” Mateo said honestly, the smile on his face faded just a tad, “it really bothered me, that’s why I started thinking that if I did survive I wanted to become a doctor. I want to figure out a way to prevent organ donors from having to die. To help save more patients with less trade offs if that makes sense.”
Rory seemed to get a strange look of realization on their face. Their eyes go from Mateo to Skye as if just connected that the two were in very similar situations at one point.
“But Mateo, people who are organ donors, they chose to be. They wanted to help.”
“Yeah but, that doesn’t take away some of the pain on their family’s side. It’s never just the donor, you have to come to terms with the fact that you're alive because someone died. I can’t imagine that kind of burdan on any-”
Mateo stopped suddenly, a look of realization on his face as he and Rory exchanged looks over Bailey, who’s examining Skye’s reaction to the conversation. Bailey looked a bit conflicted and worried, torn between reaching over the table and trying not to expose more of Skye’s story then she wanted to tell.
“I never realized how complex it all was.” Natalie said over the straw of her milkshake, “It makes me feel a little weird about not being an organ donor though.”
“I wonder if that’s a reason why they don’t have organ recipients talk during that sophomore assembly everyone has to go to to talk about how to get your license,” Trevor added, “After hearing how guilty some recipients must feel, it wouldn’t help people sign up to be a donor.”
“I think we’ve talked about this enough,” Ajay intervened, “someone, change the subject.”
“But, isn’t it kind of important to talk about?” Trevor asked, “Mateo’s like, a living person who went through what school assemblies only talk to you about. He’s lived it. And if he’s willing to help us understand-”
“It’s okay, I can answer a few more but then maybe we should take a break.” Mateo offered, “I mean, it’s a lot to take in. I appreciate how curious you guys have been with everything. It’s not really a topic people are willing to hear about. Besides I really don’t want to ruin everyone’s dinner with something sad.”
“Mateo, you don’t have to be nice about it, we’ve figured out that you’re trying to spare Skye’s feelings.”
Danielle just… didn’t stop. And no one said anything. Clint and Natalie had the audacity to look a little shocked, Ajay glared a little and Bailey looked at Skye with a familiar gentle look. There’s a bit of a riff as everyone at the table seemed to be figuring out how to react to it while a little smirk tried to hide on Danielle’s face. It sparked mild anger in Skye.
“I’m just trying to keep anyone from being uncomfortable-”
“No, it’s fine.” Skye snapped, before turning her entire attention to the smirking girl, “You’re right, Mateo is trying to spare my feelings, because I was diagnosed with chronic heart failure as a child and almost died from it. He doesn’t want to talk about the organ donor thing anymore because I needed a heart transplant to live. Now if you’re done ? Or did you have something else you wanted to ask?”
Danielle opened her mouth but Ajay cut her off with a quick motion of her hand.
“Enough.”
Skye knew his tone was directed more at Danielle, but it didn’t prevent the feeling in her gut that told her that she should just leave. She had completely ruined the mood of the entire evening, and now everyone sat in jaded silence.
You ruined everything, you should just leave.
The voice in her head always sounds like her mother. Skye moved her arm to push Ajay a bit. The older boy moved out of the booth and watched in confusion as Skye moved out and immediately turned and headed for the door.
“Skye!”
It was Bailey’s voice, but Skye didn't listen to it as she left the dinner and stepped into the cool early November air.
***
Skye didn’t know what made her go to the ice rink, but it felt like the most natural place to hide. She’d have skating practice tomorrow with Coach Laika anyway, so it only made sense to go over a few more things before then. She still had to pick a song for her long program, and her short program was still being finalized. There was a lot to work on before the last week of November when the qualifier would take place. Typically skaters had more time to work with their coaches then this, but since her parents were so picky about who taught Skye, it led to Skye doing most of the basic work by herself, then having a coach teach her a routine the last few weeks.
Skye has her phone on shuffle, playing through various songs trying to find one what she felt inspired to skate to. The rink was pretty quiet, there were only a few people hanging out in the stands and maybe three of four actively using the rink. Skye had slipped on her skates and started aimlessly skating around the rink in varying sized circles to different songs.
The tricky part was finding a song that she could skate to and then finding something under the time restraint of the long program. Long programs had to be between four and five minutes long. Plus most of her typical rotation wouldn’t translate to ice very well, it was either too fast pace or almost impossible to imagine something other than a fast series of jumps.
Skye frowned at the song playing on her phone and hit skip. This was her chance to show herself on the ice, and then maybe when her parents saw it, they would understand. Her parents had always controlled every program Skye had done, and now she had a chance to prove to them that she was capable on her own. Something that she put her heart and soul into. Even if they didn’t come to the play, this would be a second chance to win them over.
Skye’s thoughts are interrupted when someone sat down close next to her. She looked up to see familiar blonde hair as the girl next to her pulled a metal container from her bag, turning to Skye with a smile.
“Hungry?”
Skye was starving, it must have shown on her face because Bailey just giggled and handed Skye the container and a spoon. Skye wasted no time popping the lid open and seeing what was packed inside.
"How'd you find me?"
"Ajay hinted you might have run off here. And since you didn't eat I thought I'd bring you something. It’s my dad’s famous Fall vegetable stew. It’s got marinated tofu, mushrooms, carrots, cabbage, sweet potato, peas, corn, and served over rice. It’s one of my favorite cool weather meals,” Bailey explained as Skye shoved food in her mouth, “and I’m not going to take it from you! Slow down, you’ll choke!”
It was strange, Skye hadn’t noticed how cold she had become until the hot container warmed her hands and the food warmed up her insides. Everything about being with Bailey made her feel warmer. The blonde sighed when Skye finally slowed her pace.
“I’m sorry, I should have said something when Danielle was… you know.”
“Being a bitch.”
“Skye!”
Despite the other girl’s attempt to chastise Skye for her wording, Skye could tell by the look in her eyes that she agreed with her.
“It’s okay, I kinda snapped anyway.” Skye looked down at the half-eaten meal in front of her, “Thank you for this by the way, I probably wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”
Bailey flashed her a worried look.
“That’s not healthy, you know, you have to eat three square meals a day.”
“It’s ice skating season, which means my mom dictates what three square meals a day is to me. She used to make me fast during competitions, she was worried I’d throw up on the ice if I ate beforehand.”
“Well, as long as I’m around, you’re eating right. No fasting, No unbalanced meals!”
It’s a little scary how serious Bailey looked about it too. But it was… oddly warming. Getting food from Bailey felt different then being served at home. Despite both technically being “home-made” meals, Bailey’s food just tasted better. Skye wondered if that had anything to do with her growing feelings for the other girl.
“Mateo is really sorry, by the way, he said he overdid it and he really wants to apologize to you in person.”
“I’m not mad at him, he doesn’t have anything to apologize for.” Skye said as she went back to her meal.
They fall into a silence for a few minutes as Skye eats. The redhead grew more and more aware of the blonde staring at her while she ate. It was a little unnerving and Skye felt herself eating slower to not look like a starving animal. After a few minutes of awkwardness, Skye turned a little to face the other girl. She opened her mouth to say something to break the silence only to have Bailey beat her to it.
“You’re really brave, telling everyone so bluntly.”
“I’m not brave,” Skye laughed, a cynical sound that held no humor, “I’m impulsive, I snapped because I got angry, it’s the unfortunate thing Brian and I have in common. And then when everyone got quiet, I ran away.”
“I think you’re much better than Brian,” Bailey offered as she looked away with a little smile, “you're much smarter from all the stories I’ve heard about him. You’re kind, you’re a really great friend, you’re much better looking.”
Skye snorted in laughter before she could stop herself, which only caused the smile on Bailey’s face to grow as she listened to the redhead’s laughter echo through the rink.
“I haven’t seen you smile in a while,” Bailey mentioned as Skye’s laughter died down, “you have such a pretty smile.”
“Y-you said that before.”
“It’s still true, I love getting to see you smile.”
Skye isn’t sure what to say to that, but she found herself smiling at Bailey anyway. In that moment, she didn’t feel like she needed to say anything.
***
The next day felt like someone hit a reset button. At lunch when Skye sat around the theatre kids, no one asked or talked about anything from the night before. Danielle glared a bit more at her, but Skye figured that was more so from Ajay yelling at her then anything else. When Rory walked over, they set a cup of chocolate pudding on Skye's try as they passed.
"Mateo said to give that to you," Rory offered, "said you'd get what he meant."
It was Mateo's default form of apology, Skye sighed to try to seem more indifferent.
"I'm not mad at him, he didn't need to apologize."
"Yeah well, Mateo considers you a friend, so he's not going to half-ass an apology."
The group quickly shifted to chatting about the play. Ajay mentioned they only had about seventy five more tickets to sell and that Jordan had been working overtime to spread the word. The community theatre had also promoted the show on their website and socials.
"We got half a smile from Ajay! That’s almost an approval!"
Clint and Natalie cheered as Ajay shook his head.
"We can't get lazy now, not with the play so close."
Bailey and Erin are last to make their was over. Bailey's already blushing as she takes her usual seat next to Skye.
"What's all the excitement over here?"
"Ajay almost smiled at our hard work," Trevor chuckled as Ajay glared at him.
"Aw, well Miss. Bailey Jackson over here got her first fan letter-"
"Erin!"
The older girl laughed as Bailey buried her face in her arms.
"What do you mean?" Rory asked looking indifferent, but a bit of emotion flashed through their eyes.
"Bailey had this super cute little note in her locker this morning, from a secret admirer."
"Bailey the Heartbreaker," Danielle added suddenly very in tune to the conversation, "what did it say?"
"To the Star who shines brightest on and off the stage. From, Me."
"That's it?" Rory asked.
"There was also a cute little sketch of a shooting star."
Bailey’s ears were bright red under the chorus of "aww"s coming from the theatre kids. Skye fought to keep her own blush off her face as Bailey turned slightly as if using Skye as a shield from everyone else
"It was only a note, it doesn't mean anything." Bailey argued, Rory nodded quickly in agreement.
"It was really sweet, I hope they send you more."
Erin's voice was supportive, beaming over at the embarrassed younger student.
"I wouldn't be opposed to that."
Bailey's admission was quiet, but it made Skye's fingers itch to write another note. As Bailey shifted her head a bit, Skye caught the faintest glimpse of that trademark dorky smile on her face.
If one note made her smile like that, Skye would write a hundred every day.