Chapter Text
The Fellowship
In Danger Here: CAN ANYONE SEE WHATS GOING ON???
Rosie: on our way we’re literally trying but there’s lots of rocks and well hill in our way -Aragorn
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: well move faster
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: n stop texting start walking
Rosie: hey merry asked for updates -Aragorn
Rosie: i had to provide -Aragorn
In Danger Here: how close are you
Rosie: not close enough -Aragorn
Horses: i hope everything’s going fine over there…
short stick: i dont think gollums a problem any more
short stick: however we do have a new problem
short stick: which is currently happening
short stick: @Baggies please provide updates
Horses: omg faramir let them have their romantic moment in PEACE
Horses: the first asking-out is always sooooo anxiety inducing omg but then the first dates uggghhh baby i miss our first date @I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: u looked literally perfect x
Horses: ily2 kisses
Rosie: how do i stop you two getting all romantic and shit in the chat when i’m still single -Aragorn
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: the only reason ur still single is because ur a COWARD who won’t ask him out
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: and u refuse to STOP FUCKING PINING
Rosie: stfu im waiting for the right moment -Aragorn
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: also u have ur own phone u know
Rosie: yeah but i need to give directions -Aragorn
Rosie: and use google maps -Aragorn
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: idk if you know this aragorn but texting IS NOT the same as using google maps
Rosie: stfu -Aragorn
Rosie: we’re nearly there anyways -Aragorn
In Danger Here: OMGOMGOMG
idiot: if you dont tell us what’s going on IMMEDIATELY im gonna put superglue in ur shampoo
idiot: you like everyone to think that the handsome rugged hair look comes naturally but i know better…
Rosie: im going to send updates dammit pippin calm tf down -Aragorn
Rosie: ok so im peering over this bush -Aragorn
idiot: say more…
idiot: or else
idiot: gorilla glue in ur l’oreal
Rosie: and it looks like sam and Frodo are hugging -Aragorn
short stick: SEND. A. MF. PHOTO.
short stick: I NEED TO SEE IT
idiot: i actually agree with faramir
idiot: @stick u are nothing ur the worst brother
idiot: oh hes offline too.
idiot: gdi
Rosie: [A photo of Frodo and Sam embracing, taken from behind a bush. In the background, Gollum can be seen blurrily slinking away through the trees.]
In Danger Here: FRODOS SMILE UGHHHH
In Danger Here: THEY LOOK SO HAPPY OMG
Horse Himbo: cute <3
idiot: i loooove
idiot: aragorn youre forgiven
idiot: i wont forget tho
Baggies: HE SAID YES HOLY SHKT
Baggies: IM SO HAPPY I CANT EVEN TEXT PGROPERLY BUT YES
Baggies: HES SO BRAVE ABD KIND
Horses: I’m so happy for you two x
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: my congratulations :)
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: now aragorn it’s your turn :)
Rosie: can you stfu for a moment -Aragorn
Rosie: let us enjoy this in peace -Aragorn
short king: this is very good news
In Danger Here: im gonna be so annoying abt this
In Danger Here: you have no idea
short stick: uggghh im actually crying
short stick: happy tears!
Horses: no i agree
idiot: do you guys need any first date ideas
Rosie: omg nooo i think theyre gonna kiss -Aragorn
Rosie: update: theyre kissing now -Aragorn
Rosie: i cant watch this im too single -Aragorn
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: stop FUCKING complaining about being single when u could absolutely do something about it
Rosie: stfuuuuuuuueptapah
Rosie: ahlkgtsrabgslhalgghgle
Diamond: leave rosie’s phone alone
Diamond: please
Diamond: the screens cracked for fucks sake
Rosie: what tf has aragorn been telling u guys
Rosie: on my fuckn phone ffs
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: too much
horsey girl: omg stfu
Baggies: ik you guys are just happy for me and sam but you’re so annoying
idiot: thats why u love us
Baggies: btw im not trusting any of you to plan our first date
In Danger Here: why not :(
Baggies: have you seen yourselves @idiot @In Danger Here
Baggies: your names are dead giveaways that no those are not people i want planning my first date with sam
Baggies: also you’re going to spy anyways so whatever
Baggies: just be subtle okay
idiot: we can be VERY subtle ;)
horsey girl: unfortunately that’s true
In Danger Here: hey our subtlety is excellent
In Danger Here: lol pippin we need to pull that prank we did on the sackville bagginses again this yr
Baggies: i don’t condone violence but please do
idiot: which one
In Danger Here: dm
idiot: sure
Horses: who are the sackville bagginses
Baggies: they dont like me
Horses: how could anyone not like u omg
Baggies: i don’t know
horsey girl: does anyone know where @stick is
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: no
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: y dont u go find him
horsey girl: thats literally what im trying to do
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: also y the sudden interest
horsey girl: i ntk if hes ok
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: suuuuure
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: totally all ur doing it for
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: not that u ntk that hes smth that rhymes with ok
Baggies: what rhymes with ok?
Baggies: jk?
Baggies: pick?
Baggies: k that ones bad
Baggies: oh do you mean like rhymes with ok
Baggies: as in ‘rhymes with okay’
Baggies: not just like ‘ok’
Baggies: sway?
Baggies: stay
Baggies: play
Baggies: may
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: sooooo close omg
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: change the first letter
Baggies: day?????
Baggies: pay????!!!
Baggies: way????!???!!?
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: nvm ur hopeless
Baggies: :(
Scary potato farmer: hey guys what’s happened since ive been gone???
In Danger Here: oh so much
In Danger Here: eye roll
Scary potato farmer: arwen why did you make Frodo sad
Baggies: its ok sam ive got you :)
Scary potato farmer: :)
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: ewwww love
Horses: you love me tho
Horses: and thats not gross
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: touché
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: ly babe
Horses: x
horsey girl: disgusting
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: idc you want love too
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: stop hiding it
short king: we all want love<3
idiot: except me
idiot: i desire mischief
idiot: and chaos
idiot: and really clever, really thoughtful pranks
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: waitttt……
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: @idiot @In Danger Here dm
I am soft for my gf but if you cross me You Will Die: ive got an idea …
horsey girl: here’s to hoping it doesnt involve me