Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time Minho met Jisung, he was hungry.

He was hungry and Jisung looked like a damn good meal.

Standing with the half-naked man in the middle of his bedroom, Minho had been so close to satiating that building ache in his body.

So close that he nearly missed the warning signs.

So close to making a mistake he’d regret for the rest of his long, long life.

Reeling back from the lustful encounter after realising his lapse in judgment, he ran home with his tail between his legs.

***

The second time Minho met Jisung, he was famished, out of his mind after starving himself for the mistake he nearly made.

And the worst thing was, he nearly did it all over again.

Jisung was just as captivating as the first time. Something about that particular human had the flames igniting in Minho like never before. The sound of his name falling off the man’s tongue locked him into a trance. He could see, hear and smell nothing but Jisung. That ache in his body was back, begging him to add touch and taste to that list.

Before he could even register he’d moved, he had Jisung pinned to the wall. He could feel the bright energy vibrating under Jisung’s skin and found himself salivating as his lips pressed to Jisung’s pulse.

It was so easy to give in to the delirium when he once again had Jisung on his tongue. Finally, the burning in his chest was being doused. The more he skimmed from the man in front of him, the more that ache was soothed.

Then came the overwhelming shame when Jisung knocked him back to his senses. He’d never been so disgusted in himself than when he realised he’d nearly forced himself on the man.

Running away as quickly as he could, he let himself be used and abused by the most despicable men he could find. He had hoped desperately that the punishment he had forced upon himself would atone for what he had done.

But when he walked home that night, with the final flames doused, revulsion in himself was all that was left.

 ***

The third time Minho met Jisung, he was finally able to make amends for his flaws, no matter how unworthy he was of forgiveness.

Through the longest conversation he had shared with a human in years - one that wasn’t work-related - he discovered it had never been so hard to keep a human at arm’s length.

***

The fourth time Minho met Jisung, he could tell he was toeing a line he certainly should not have been crossing.

But the banter was easy, and the smiles between them even easier.

Minho knew he should have been more guarded about the change in their relationship, but he was slipping. Hard.

***

The fifth time Minho met Jisung, Hyunjin was there to remind him what he was risking.

Hyunjin knew exactly the kind of hurt Minho had gone through aeons ago. Having his heart ripped out by the person he loved wholeheartedly, as they decided he wasn’t enough, and he found them with someone else; right under his nose, in his bed. All incubi had experienced the same bone-crushing ache, so powerful that it twisted their hearts from bleeding and broken into something dark and forever closed.

Minho knew what Hyunjin was insinuating was impossible. He couldn’t become heartbroken again because that required him to be capable of loving Jisung, and that emotion had been locked away from him for over a century.

Still, the thought that he may hurt Jisung, and the fleeting memory of his once thought-to-be-soulmate’s infidelity, was enough for Minho to recede back into himself.

Confused at the sadness that sprung in his chest, Minho felt himself spiralling into something nasty as he cut all ties with Jisung.

***

The sixth time Minho met Jisung was far sooner than he’d expected, only a month after he had ghosted their brief friendship.

It was with reluctance that Minho finally let Jisung see a hint of his true self, a ploy to try and keep the human a bay.

The confusion and fear he saw clouding Jisung’s eyes made that puzzling sadness in his chest flare, but if it kept them both safe, then it was worth it.

***

Minho had hoped he wouldn’t see Jisung again. If only to stop himself from doing something incredibly stupid as he felt walls he didn’t know existed crumbling inside him and making him swell with emotions he both missed and despised.

Unfortunately, Jisung was the most tenacious and reckless human he’d ever met, and the naive kid found him.

Despite knowing exactly what he was, Jisung was still fighting for Minho, still begging for something they both knew would never work, and for some reason, he was agreeing.

Minho couldn’t believe in the spark of something he felt deep in his chest. Something other than hunger, lust, anger and sadness. Something hopeful as he watched Jisung smile so brightly at him, fluttering his eyes so innocently that Minho couldn’t help but smile back.

***

Many months down the line from when Minho had first met Jisung, they had worked some things down to a fine art.

It took practice, and a few nights where fear struck heavy in Minho’s heart. Fear that he’d touched too hard, for too long, leading him to close himself away in the bathroom. His back pressed to the door with his head heavy in his hands.

Jisung would always be in a matching position on the other side, affirming over and over that he was fine and Minho hadn’t hurt him. But it was hard to not feel guilty when he watched Jisung looking so exhausted after a night spent with him.

With lots of pleading, Jisung always talked Minho back out in the end.

But they’d be idiots to not learn from their mistakes, each time finding out something along the way.

Like condoms were their friend.

And toys.

And gloves.

And keeping clothing on was almost always necessary.

Minho thought the lack of touch made things feel too clinical, but when Jisung was still crying out his name with half-lidded eyes even under latex, it was easy to forget the barrier between them. If just for a while.

When Jisung followed those more careful nights together by waking up with a smile on his face and a hop in his step, rather than groggy with bags under his dim eyes, Minho knew the precaution was worth it.

He knew he could never feel the sensation of Jisung sinking into him, filling him up so tight until it would be impossible to tell where one ended and the other started. Just touching Jisung while he orgasmed was enough for Minho to sap away some of his years, so they would never be able to risk something so intimate.

Instead, Minho continued to grit his teeth and bear it, even if his fingers ached from where they itched to touch Jisung, mouth practically salivating at the glowing skin thrumming so potently with energy when he reached his high.

Sometimes, when they shared a day off, Minho would let Jisung run his mouth up and down his body, and he would do the same to Jisung in return. Tasting and touching for as long as they could before Minho reluctantly pushed Jisung away to the other side of the bed.

They would finish themselves off, trying not to think how good the other’s hand would feel on them. Trying to remember the exact sensation of heat pouring off the other's skin from when they pressed flush against each other.

Afterwards, Minho would always watch carefully while Jisung slept so deeply and for so long that he was nervous he’d gone too far again.

By the next afternoon, Jisung always awoke and thanked him for a wonderful time, verbalising how he couldn’t wait for the next day off where they could do it again.

Today wasn’t one of those days. The ones where they could map out each other’s bodies with fingers and tongues.

No. It was rushed and eager.

Despite one messy kiss, Minho had kept his touch away from Jisung, only dragging the younger man’s sweats down enough to pull him out and slip the latex over his cock with practised ease, never once brushing the skin vibrating with so much heady energy Minho was shaking.

With his hands braced on Jisung’s thighs, the younger rolled his hips up again and again, forcing himself deep into Minho’s waiting mouth.

Already satiated once by a mix of Jisung’s mouth and hands, Minho felt his own dick twitch in his sweatpants at the pleasured sounds Jisung hissed every time Minho hummed around him.

“Oh, fuck.” Jisung whimpered far too soon, hands tightening onto the bedsheets. Then growling out a hurried, “Time.”

Minho popped off instantly, taking his hands from where they were clawing through Jisung’s sweatpants. He drew back just enough to give Jisung space to move, but close enough that there was no mistaking his offer when he tilted his head up, leaving his jaw open and tongue hanging out.

Jisung took the hint, flicking the condom off and running his hand over himself in a hurried pace for only a few strokes before he came, white splattering across Minho’s lips and tongue, a thick drop running down his chin that Minho was quick to draw up with his thumb and push into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Jisung groaned again, watching the way Minho licked his lips clean of all of the release.

They both had to fight the urge begging them to clasp their lips together because even in the afterglow it was too dangerous.

Once the moment had passed, Jisung managed to pull his pants and underwear back up, carefully tucking himself in before he collapsed back on the bed, Minho getting up from his place on the floor and flopping beside him with a faint grunt.

Rolling so could look at Jisung, Minho’s eyes fell on the hand resting barely an inch from his own. He desperately wanted to grab it and interlace their fingers, but he knew it would spark another round between them of something he’d find hard to keep control of.

He had held off from the hunger itching at the back of his throat for so long already that night, so it was inevitable that he’d crash at some point, eyes growing heavy and skin crawling with the desire to take him, take him, take him.

As always, Jisung clued into his lethargic almost delirious state too quickly, brows furrowing as he said, “You haven’t been feeding again.”

Minho mumbled, “It hasn’t been that long.”

Jisung gave him the look.

“I mean, maybe it’s been a while. But I swear I don’t need it.”

“Minho, you can’t keep starving yourself for me.”

“It’s honestly not that bad,” Even Minho could hear the lie in his own voice, “I really don’t need to do it so much. Plus, I know you get jealous.”

Jisung snorted, “Of course I get jealous. Knowing all those horrible people get to have you in a way that I can’t. But just because I’m jealous doesn’t mean I don’t understand. You need to feed and I shouldn’t be getting in the way of that.”

“I hate it though.” Minho wriggled around and buried half of his face into the pillows with a pout, “It feels like I’m cheating.”

“You’re not though. Babe, you need it to live. And…” Jisung grimaced, “I know that’s a touchy subject for you, but you don’t have to like it, baby. You just need to do it because I can’t have you dipping out on me yet.”

Minho hummed in reluctant acceptance. Jisung was speaking the truth, but it didn’t make him feel any better about leaving his boyfriend alone while he slept around with the shadiest lowlifes he could find.

“Now,” Jisung reached over and started pushing him off the bed, “It’s still early tonight. I need you to doll yourself up, but not too much because that’s reserved for me.”

Minho rolled his eyes.

“Then go fuck the most disgusting human you can find.”

Rolling off the bed, whining after being kicked in the side, Minho complained from his spot on the floor, “I don’t wanna. Especially when you put it like that”

“And I don’t wanna suffer through you trying to jump me for the tenth time because you thought you could handle it.”

“It only happened once!”

“And I’m still scarred! Imagine if it were to happen again, a poor innocent human like me would never stand a chance against your dark and alluring charm.”

From over the edge of the bed, Minho raised his middle finger so Jisung could see.

Snorting, Jisung watched the finger with fondness in his eyes, “I really can’t believe there was a point where I thought you were some kind of unreachable ethereal being.”

A second hand matched the first in flipping Jisung off.

Minho heard rustling until a fluffy head of hair perched over the side of the bed, lips pursed in a pout and he was sure Jisung was also inflating his cheeks to appear extra cute - it was working.

“Please do it for me,” Jisung’s voice was sickeningly sweet, big brown eyes imploring. Minho immediately felt his resistance crumble, and the younger knew it too. “And don’t come back until you’re full.”

Minho sighed, pushing himself up to place a light kiss on Jisung’s forehead, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Content now that he’d won, with drowsy eyes, Jisung whispered, “You better.”

Minho could see the effects of what little they’d done together hit Jisung all at once, and he knew there’d be no waking the younger up until the morning. So he carefully tucked in the already asleep man and locked up on his way out.

***

That’s how Minho found himself lazily done up and working his way through new faces at one of his old haunts, a place guaranteed to be filled with lowlifes not looking to better themselves. What he wasn’t expecting was bumping paths with an old friend of his, both of them out stalking the same questionable crowd.

The man was currently sporting bleached blond hair, above his easy smile. His clothing left very little to the imagination considering the only things on his top half were a chain harness and a faux fur coat over his shoulders. There were a few scattered marks over his chest that Minho knew would be gone by morning, suggesting that this other incubus was already a meal or two into his night.

When Minho finally caught the other’s eye, he watched a familiar pair of dimples slide into place. Quickly waving him over, the second he was in earshot, Minho greeted him with an amused smirk, “Chan, didn’t think you’d be slumming it back in Korea for a century or so.”

Chan used to run with Hyunjin and Minho a few decades ago. Far older than the two, he’d shown them a lot when they were still fledglings. He was one of the few incubi that still held some morals about who became their next meal. He had mastered the art of picking humans who it wouldn’t hurt skimming a few years off, and how to stay hidden while never aging, wisdom he had generously passed on. They had parted ways many years ago though, when Chan had started feeling homesick.

Chan shrugged, “I love Australia, but there’s only so many eshays a man can stomach.”

“I don’t know what that means, but it’s good to see you.”

“Likewise.”

Chan drew Minho into a tight hug which he easily returned. He might take every opportunity possible to tease his friend, but Minho was eternally thankful to Chan for everything he’d taught him.

Both a few meals in, they caught up over cheap liquor and Minho dared to open up about his plight with Jisung, half expecting Chan to call him delusional just as Hyunjin had.

Instead, Minho felt his mouth drop open in shock when Chan furrowed his brows and said, “I might know someone who could help.”

“You… what?”

“I reckon I might be able to get you an audience with an old being. Maybe. At his age you get to know a lot.”

Minho was still recovering from the shock that Chan may have an answer for his struggles, “An old being? Who is he? What is he?”

Chan’s fingers tapped the bar nervously, “His name is Jeongin, he’s a kitsune.”

Minho nearly fell off his chair, “A kitsune?! How do you know a kitsune.”

“Ah… you see… this is why I can’t guarantee he’ll agree to a meeting from someone I send his way…” Chan’s face was in his palms, but Minho could see the pink tips of his ears, “Jeongin is… my ex.”

“You dated a kitsune?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Chan retorted in defense, “I know better than to get involved with a human, I’m not an idiot.” Minho tried not to take that to heart. “Because Jeongin technically isn’t human - even when in his human form - I wasn’t killing him when we fucked.”

“Well, what happened?”

Chan waved his arms around, exclaiming exasperatedly, “I don’t know we just fizzled out. It wasn’t like we ended on bad terms per se, but it’s still a bit awkward reaching out to an ex. I don’t even know if his number still works. But, if you’re serious about becoming human again, he’s the only person I could think of that might be able to give you an answer. So, shall I text him?”

Minho slouched back in his chair, mind reeling about what he’d just heard. The fact that Chan knew a kitsune was shocking enough, let alone having dated one and offering to get him a meeting. There was no doubt in his mind as he answered Chan’s question.

“Do it.”

***

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Jisung craned his neck up towards the skyscraper in front of them.

Frowning at his phone, Minho concluded that the mammoth of a building in front of them was correct. “It’s the address Chan gave me.”

“Do you really think this kitsune works for Levanter bank?”

Minho shrugged, “Kinda makes sense doesn’t it? If you had all that knowledge, why not put it to use?”

“I guess, I just always thought they’d live out in the forest near some remote village or something. It’s weird thinking that some ancient fox spirit is a businessman.”

“What’s weird is the fact you didn’t question me once about the existence of kitsunes.”

Jisung gave him a pointed look. “I grew up reading manga and I draw manhwa for a living. Babe, I’m a fucking nerd, of course I’m familiar with Japanese folklore.” Shuffling into Minho’s personal space, Jisung wrapped an arm around around his waist and whispered in his ear, “Plus, I’m dating a soul-sucking sex demon so I’m just rolling with the punches at this point.”

Shrugging Jisung off, Minho scoffed, “That’s kinda offensive.”

“Sorry, I’m dating the sexiest soul-sucking sex demon to ever walk the earth.”

“Better.” Minho didn’t spare him a side-ways glance, but he was sure Jisung could see the content smile that slipped onto his face. “Now let's go. Can’t keep Jeongin waiting.”

The journey to Jeongin was rather intimidating, right from the moment they introduced themselves to one of the women sitting in reception. She had a bored expression on her face and comically large manicured nails that clacked away at her keyboard as she barely spared them a glance. They were checked in without issue - Minho really had to find a way to thank Chan - and a bubbly gentleman in a very expensive looking suit made small talk as he led them to their destination. They moved from the lobby, to the elevator, to the top floor, to the seating area just outside Jeongin’s office. The entire time they were within the line of sight of very burly men carrying sidearms, security labelled across their chests.

Minho couldn’t help but feel unsettled, he was about to meet a kitsune in the penthouse office of South Korea’s largest bank. There was a churn in his gut that only had a little to do with the fact that this might finally be the answer to his curse.

Locking eyes with one of the guards did not help his reservations settle, the man’s stare cold as he watched them disinterestedly.

Minho swallowed nervously.

Jisung was watching closely from where they were seated together on a very expensive loveseat, a water cooler and table filled with fancy magazines beside them. “Why are you so twitchy?”

“Shh.” Minho hushed him, then continued quietly, “Are you not? Did you not see how many armed guards this building has?” Minho gestured slyly to the two men within their current view.

Snorting, Jisung whispered back, “I know why I’m nervous, but aren’t you like bullet-proof or something?”

“I’m an incubus, not superman. It might take a few more bullets to kill me, but getting hit with even one will still hurt like hell.”

Jisung cocked his head contemplatively then nodded his head, “Oh, so you have a larger health bar.”

“What?”

“Like in video games. I’m a human, so I have like 100 health points, but being an incubus you have like 200 health points.”

Minho blinked at him owlishly.

“Well? I’m right, aren't I?”

“I guess,” Minho admitted slowly, “But I’d say it depends on whether I’ve fed recently, if I’m full it’s probably more like 500, but if I haven’t had sex for a long time it’s similar to a human.” The sound of a door opening made Minho jump and jolt around. “But this isn’t important right now.”

“I don’t know.” Jisung turned towards the door too, waiting expectantly, “I think it’s good to know you’ve got boosted health after last weekend, we might actually survive this.”

“This is an informative meeting not a fight,” Minho reasoned.

“You never know how these things will go.”

“And you do?”

Jisung shrugged,

“Whatever. This conversation is stupid.” Minho took his attention away from the door for a moment to nudge Jisung, saying seriously, “You know if Jeongin wants to fight us, he doesn’t need his beefy security team for it. He could do it himself and we may as well have one hit point.”

He watched as Jisung’s eyes widened, his partner obviously not quite grasping the reality of the meeting they were about to attend.

Minho didn’t get anxious for nothing.

Before Jisung could say anything else on the matter, they heard the distant sound of talking emerge from the large open double doors, a greying man in a suit walked out. They immediately shot out of their chairs and straightened themselves up, but the man continued past them without much acknowledgement besides a nod of the head when they bowed deeply towards him. Glancing at each other in confusion, they didn’t have to wait long before another head popped out of the door, much younger than the last.

The young male waved them in, so they cautiously followed, eyeing him from a distance. He was in some sort of high fashion spotted silk shirt, only half buttoned to show off the layers of gold necklaces around his neck. Hanging from in the corner of the office was a full length fur coat that looked suspiciously fox-like. Minho was sure the leather shoes clicking on the dark tile as the man walked was worth Jisung’s monthly paycheck.

The door clicked shut behind them and Minho was immediately suffocated with the overwhelming power in the room. There was no doubting it. The young man in front of them with silver-blond hair and a mischievously dimpled smile was the kitsune.

Bowing deeply, Minho introduced them both, Jisung nodding a meek greeting before shying off to the side. Minho also cautiously reminded Jeongin that he was friend’s with Chan, unsure whether that would help or harm his cause.

“Yes, yes. I know who you are. I’m a busy man so let’s skip the small talk. You’re the incubus that wants to return his humanity so he can live out his life with a human boy.” Jeongin flicked his line of sight to Jisung, “So heart wrenching.”

Minho couldn’t tell if Jeongin was being genuine, there was something about his tone that sounded almost insulting. Swallowing away the dryness in his throat, Minho nodded, “Yes. I was looking for information about breaking the curse, can you help?”

Jeongin smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling as he watched Minho curiously, “Have you thought about what you wanted to trade? You know my help doesn’t come for free.”

Slowly reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a thin gold ring, Minho explained, “This is all I have, Chan said it was the importance, not the monetary worth that mattered.”

The kitsune’s smile grew and if Minho wasn’t already put off, that would be enough to make him uneasy. He could see Jisung glancing between them with his brows furrowed, just as much on edge.

“It’s my old wedding band.”

“I can see that.” Jeongin stepped closer and Minho watched his eyes flash white as he focused on the ring.  

Minho felt his blood run cold as Jeongin moved in, his gaze never once leaving the metal band. Once he was a foot away, Minho closed his hand over the ring, shocking the fox out of whatever trance he was in.

Minho didn’t want to know what he’d seen.

“Do we have a deal?”

“Yes. That’ll be more than enough,” Jeongin smiled again, his dimples popping out. He held out his hand for the ring. “Deal.”

Minho dropped the band into Jeongin’s open palm, rather anticlimactic to what he was expecting.

Holding up the ring and looking through it, Jeongin whispered in awe, “You have no idea the power in this thing.”

“And I don’t care to know either. That was the last remaining part of my old life and I should've tossed it away long ago.” Minho spoke calmly, even with the hair standing on his neck, “Now tell me. What do I need to break my curse?”

“Nothing,” Jeongin answered and laughed, a harsh barking sound, “Why all the ingredients are already in place little incubi. The unwinding is nearly done.”

Minho’s heart stopped, and he heard Jisung inhale a sharp breath. Was he really so close to freedom?

“Okay, what else do I need to do?”

Jeongin’s smile grew wider, “I can’t tell you that.”

Minho baulked, unsure if he heard correctly. “What?”

“If I were to tell you, that would defeat the whole purpose of the curse.”

“But we made a trade, you have to tell me.” Minho’s voice was soft, nearing on broken.

“You asked what you needed. I answered you. You need nothing. The ingredients are there. If you haven’t figured out the key to the curse, if you’re not capable of breaking the curse,” Jeongin side-eyed Jisung, “The relationship was doomed to fail anyway.”

“I-I…” Minho fumbled, defeated by a few simple words. “This can’t be true. You need to give me something.”

Jeongin shook his head and Minho felt his throat tighten.

From the side of the room, Jisung stepped closer to Minho, trying to be a calming presence.

“Whatever,” Minho eventually scoffed, “Fuck this. I should’ve known this was some sort of scam. Enjoy the ring. It belonged to a cheating sack of shit.” Minho turned to Jisung, grabbing his forearm and tugging him to the door.

Jisung stumbled along, bowing to Jeongin and awkwardly thanking him for his time before Minho pushed him out of the office first, immediately following behind. Minho had planned on leaving without another word, but Jeongin’s steady voice caught him just in time.

“Little incubus.” Minho turned around to see Jeongin hovering at the entrance to his office, watching them go. “Look into your heart, I'm sure you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.”

Then the large door clicked shut in his face.

The elevator ride down was silent, Minho bubbling with quiet fury, Jisung confused with no idea what exactly just happened.

Once they stepped back out into the evening light, Minho froze, voice seething, “What kind of bullshit information was that?” He ran his hands down his face harshly and growled in frustration, stamping his foot on the sidewalk.

“Hey,” Jisung called softly, unsure how to comfort himt.

Minho didn’t know what to say either. He had placed so much hope in that meeting, just to be crushed all over again. He didn’t want to take his frustrations out on Jisung, so he kept quiet.

He felt a gentle hand land on his shoulder, and through the blood pounding in his head, Minho heard Jisung say, “Come to mine tonight. The cats will be alright alone for one night. I’m sure the next lead will be better.”

With a deep exhale, he finally turned to Jisung.

He really thought that was it. He let his hopes up one last time, and it had crushed him worse than the others because the truth was, if Jeongin couldn’t give him answers, there were no answers to be had.

He hadn’t told Jisung that yet. He’d been selfish in wanting to keep Jisung as close as possible, but that meeting was the start of the end.

Taking Jisung’s hand, the tingle of his bare skin pressed against Minho’s made the incubi’s chest fill with something dark and barren, unexpected compared to the usual fiery warmth it ignited.

“Sure. Let’s go to yours.”

It’d probably be the last time he went there, Minho thought in the back of his head.

***

The second after he kicked his shoes off at the front door, Minho sank into the plush couch, staring unblinkingly up at the ceiling of Jisung’s living room. The younger followed behind him, face downcast, looking like a puppy with his tail between his legs.

The air hung heavy between them, too much needed to be said but Minho would hold off for as long as possible.

Unsurprisingly, it was Jisung who broke the silence. “Well, I still think that was pretty successful.”

Minho rolled his head to the side, staring blankly towards Jisung. His voice was strained when he said, “We learnt nothing.”

“We learnt you’re close to breaking the curse. We just have to figure out the last piece of the puzzle. So, next time we know we need to-”

“Next time?” Minho barked out a dry laugh, “There is no next time. Don’t you get it, Jisung? I’m out of options. That was it. If Jeongin couldn’t help, there is no one else that can. There’s no fixing this, no fixing me.”

“That’s not true. We can still-”

“Stop it.” Despite the emotion crackling in his chest, Minho’s voice was cold, “When we first started this, we agreed that if it was hopeless you would leave. That time has come.”

“So you’re giving up on us?”

“I’m accepting defeat, and you need to as well. After tonight, there is no us. You’re going to go and find some human to settle with and I’ll go back to . . . whatever.”

“That is giving up.”

Minho jolted up, shifting around to glare at Jisung. “What else do you expect me to do? I can’t even fucking touch you for longer than ten minutes before fucking it up or making you sick. And you wanna what? Keep that going for another few months? Years? Don’t be naive. You are going to get old and die - hopefully not at my hands - and I’m going to be forever stuck in this body. And as the years start spanning between us, you’re going to end up resenting me for it.”

Jisung’s eyes were glassy, bottom lip jutting out, “That’s not true.”

“It is.” Minho’s voice was deafening, brandished like a knife, “We’re going to end up hating each other for locking ourselves into this half-assed idea of a relationship.”

“T-that’s not- Y-you don’t need to yell.”

“How else will you understand? Because I can’t seem to get through to you any other way. What we have will fizzle out over sleepless nights laying together in bed with a pillow wall between us so I can’t touch and hurt you. We will end up loathing each other until the only thing left for you to do is go out and seek comfort in another’s body.”

“I-I wouldn’t!”

Minho’s words were simmering with something dark and he hated that he couldn’t stop them from slithering out with a snide laugh, “I’ve heard that before.”

Silence followed.

Minho was breathing deeply, chest shaking with ragged breaths as his words settled heavily over the room. He only registered Jisung’s crying state when the younger man sucked in a shuddering breath and Minho saw shoulders shaking.

The realisation of everything he’d just said snapped taut like a band, shocking Minho back into the present.

“Sorry,” Minho withdrew to the end of the couch with a startled cry, horrified at himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean- I-I’m just so frustrated with- with everything.”

“I know.” Jisung cried quietly, palms pressed to his eyes, “Don’t you think I’m feeling all that too? It’s not just you in this. And I know it’s naive to still be hoping for a cure, but what’s the other option? Just letting you go? I already tried that, Min. It was horrible, and I know it was for you too.”

Minho sank in his seat, mirroring Jisung beside him, hands pressed to his face in distress.

“I know it’s going to hurt,” Minho admitted quietly, “I know letting you go is going to be the most painful thing I’ll ever do. But keeping you with me, always at risk, never able to do what we both so desperately want; that’s no way for you to live.”

“But what if being without you is no way to live either?”

“You’ll get over me,” Minho's voice was strained, but he refused to let on how much it was hurting, otherwise Jisung would never believe him, “In time. And you’ll be better off for it.”

“I won’t.” Jisung shook his head vehemently, “There’s no getting over you, Min.”

“There is. Because I may have not intended to say it so... brutally, but I wasn’t lying, our only future ends with us detesting this very relationship you’re fighting for.”

They sat in silence for a few moments more, Minho’s face blank as he glared at the floor, unable to look at Jisung. The latter was rubbing his face furiously, trying to stop the endless waves of tears.

“There’s no convincing you otherwise, is there?” Jisung eventually asked,

Minho shook his head, swallowing through the lump in his throat, “It’s for the best.”

“Okay.”

Minho felt something inside him crack.

“I understand. After tonight. This is over.”

Turning to Jisung, Minho could see his eyes ringed red and swollen, round cheeks blotchy and lower lip bitten to the point of bleeding. He gave the younger a clipped nod. Anymore and he knew the tears he’d been keeping at bay would flow free.

He wanted Jisung to agree. He needed him to. But that didn’t make it any easier to hear.

“But-” Jisung took a deep breath, steeling himself, “But for tonight, you are still mine, and I want to show you what that means.”

Minho cocked his head in question,

“Let me have you tonight.”

“What?” Minho’s eyes widened, croaking desperately, “No. We can’t. Hannie, I can’t.”

“Please.” Jisung continued, “I understand. I’ll end up hurting us both by staying, so after tonight I won’t try to find you again. I’ll do whatever for you to know I’m safe. But… Just once, I need you. One night won’t take too much. Let me have you just for tonight.”

The first tear finally rolled down Minho’s cheek, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re hurting me more by denying me just one taste of you.”

Minho bit his lip, trying to stay strong, but he could already feel his resolved crumbling. Jisung was all he’d wanted for so long. “It’s too risky.”

“I could die tomorrow walking to work, losing a few years means nothing to me.”

“Don’t say that,” Minho chastised, “You’re too important for that.”

“And you’re too important to me,” Jisung fired back, “If you’re going to break my heart-” His voice cut off, the emotion strangling his vocal chords- “If you’re going to leave me, you can’t deny me this.”

Jisung slid closer to him on the couch, carefully taking Minho’s hand in his, brushing his thumb over Minho’s knuckles.

“Please,” Jisung pleaded.

The usual rush of want that prickled along his hand from Jisung’s touch was nothing compared to the hole gnawing away in his chest. Tears were running freely down Minho’s face, but he refused to let out a sob, trembling lips firmly pressed together to keep in every desperate sound. He had never been so conflicted in his life.

Jisung reached up with one hand, brushing away the next tear that fell, and it was impossible for Minho not to lean into the warmth of Jisung’s palm, feeling the care from his touch sizzle across his skin.

Minho had spent the past century being careful, doing exactly what Chan had taught him, trying his hardest to atone for who he was.

But just once, he wanted to allow himself to be selfish again.

Finally, Minho whispered, the words barely there. “Let’s do this.”

Jisung took a moment to absorb the words, unsure if they were real or if he was just imagining his greatest wish.

“Okay,” Jisung finally responded, then stronger, “Okay.”

Jisung was slow, careful as he pulled Minho towards him, drying the last of his tears with his sleeve. He pressed their foreheads together, just sharing a breath before taking the final step. The anticipation was building under Minho’s skin, but even though he was being selfish, he was going to let Jisung dictate every moment, so he ignored the burning along his nerves and waited patiently.

Rather quickly, the heated tension that had begun building was enough to dissipate the dark emotion that had been suffocating them in the small room. That night was going to signify the end between them, so they were both resolved to make the most of it.

“I love you,” Jisung spoke into their shared breath.

If Minho had been standing, he was sure his legs would have buckled underneath him. Though he knew by his actions that Jisung loved him, there had been an unspoken rule between them to never explicitly say those words out loud, knowing the pain they caused him.

Somehow, Jisung had taken the dynamics between them and flipped it around. Minho felt so small, resting in Jisung’s palm waiting to be crushed.

He should have been the one leading Jisung on, dragging him into something unavoidable, capturing him like his body so desperately pleaded for. Instead, he felt himself yielding so openly under Jisung’s presence.

The vulnerability in his next word surprised him, Minho gasped, “Please.”

He was waiting desperately for Jisung to do something, burning up already with just the thought of what might be to come.

Jisung’s hands tightened where they had been curled into Minho’s shirt, his own desperation ready to break through. Closing the distance, Minho almost whimpered with joy when Jisung finally kissed him, but it was only a tease of a kiss, just the barest brush of lips before he pulled back.

Still, the jolt that buzzed across his lips was enough to make Minho’s head spin.

Before he could complain, begging Jisung for more, Minho looked up with a furrowed brow to where Jisung was now standing and pulled Minho with him.

“Come with me.”

Minho was directed into the bathroom, Jisung setting the shower to heat up before turning back to the body waiting for him.

There was less hesitation this time, although Jisung still moved slow, painfully slow as he stripped their clothing, layer by layer.

Minho’s hands never left Jisung’s skin for long, caressing every dip of muscle, gripping tight when Jisung’s hands roamed just as freely. His fingers trembled as they worked over Jisung’s smooth, tan skin over and over, tracing delicate, mindless shapes.

Soft. Warm. Yours to take.

He couldn’t even think about closing his eyes for a moment when he was so entranced in watching the way their hands moved over each other. They had spent so little time being able to appreciate the other’s body, not like this, so close and intimate, finding every little imperfection and worshipping it.

When he had finished counting the moles that dotted down the side of Jisung’s neck and over his collarbones, only then did Minho look up to find Jisung’s eyes on him. Jisung’s hands were burning into the skin on his waist, holding them tightly together as he watched Minho fondly.

Jisung brushed his thumbs over Minho’s side, urging him to continue, but once he’d seen the adoring look in Jisung’s eyes, all Minho could think about was having him on his tongue again. He surged forward, pressing his lips to Jisung carelessly, just needing his mouth in any way he could have.

Jisung’s laugh was deep and vibrated along Minho’s lips as he happily pulled Minho closer, hands tightening impossibly on his hips. He only pulled back once steam had started fogging the mirror, fumbling with the shower door to get them inside as quickly as possible so he could get his hands back on Minho.

Minho’s skin was buzzing, his body practically vibrating by the time Jisung ushered him under the warm spray of water.

Sometime during the rushed cleaning, wiping away the last of their tears and the worries from the day, Minho’s lips had decided upon marking a path along Jisung’s jaw and down his neck, sucking into the skin of his pulse point, drinking up the deep thrumming underneath as if he was some sort of vampire.

It was suffocating, the steam of the shower, the thumping of his veins, the way Jisung was still hugging him tightly, until Minho’s head was clouded with nothing but the thought of needing more. He wasn’t slowing down at all, soaking up Jisung’s moan as he threw his head back, the sound a mix of pleasure and pain after Minho had taken a deep bite where his neck met his shoulder.

Once he’d regained himself, one of Jisung’s hands had made its way to Minho’s hair, tugging hard and pulling him off his body. “My turn,” He growled.

Minho let himself be pressed back into the shower wall, shivering after hitting the cold tiles. Jisung pinned him there with a knee between his legs, and Minho buckled feeling Jisung grind harshly up into his cock.

They’d both been ignoring the throbbing erections standing proudly between them until now, opting to delight in all the other aspects of each other first, before letting their touches drift south. But with Jisung’s slight thigh rubbing against him, it was hard not to cry for more.

“Please,” Minho croaked again, a recurring phrase for the night.

“I got you, darling,” Jisung whispered, forehead pressed to Minho’s as his hands soothed along his sides, sweet compared to the improper movement of his leg.

Minho threw his head back hard enough to knock loudly against the tiles, but he was too far gone to hear Jisung asking if he was okay, instead still caught up in the intoxicating feeling of Jisung’s fingers rubbing over his nipples.

“More, please,” Minho cried, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s neck again and pulling him into another kiss.

He was only indulged with Jisung’s tongue wrapping around his for a moment, eagerly sucking it into his mouth and ignoring the line of drool trying to escape from the edge of his lip. Minho had rolled his hips up once, twice, grinding his erection from the muscle of Jisung’s thigh up to his firm stomach before he was grabbed by the shoulders and flipped around.

Minho grunted, lifting his forearms against the wall to support himself as Jisung pressed up against him. He could feel Jisung’s firm chest against his back, his strong biceps caging him in.

“Is this okay?” Jisung’s voice was rough, laced with want. He ground his erection into the cleft of Minho’s ass to make his point clear.

Minho groaned. He knew Jisung was hot, undeniably so, that was what had started everything between them at that club so long ago, but he’d spent so long holding himself back. He’d only been looking forward to spending time with Jisung for his personality and company, and nothing more, for far too long. He had almost forgotten how sexually attracted he was to the man.

And now he was finally going to be fucked by him.

Yes, yes, yes. Take it all from him .

Groaning, Minho ignored the thoughts trying to push to the front of his mind again, choosing to focus on the heat from every point of contact where Jisung was touching him, especially on the solid dick pressing against him. 

“Fuck, yes,” Minho breathed into the tile, finally answering Jisung’s question.

Jisung responded with a delicate kiss onto Minho’s nape before his hands moved down, his left held Minho’s hips in place while the right traced its way to Minho’s hole. His thumb teased over the entrance, making Minho’s legs tremble in anticipation.

“You know you don’t have to do that with me,”

Jisung hummed into his shoulder, biting lightly at the skin, “I know, I just wanna play with you first.”

The restraint Jisung was showing was admirable, if he wanted to, he could have easily taken Minho there against the wall without all the preamble; Minho’s body was more than prepared to take it. Instead, he mouthed along the back of Minho’s neck while his hand continued to play, teasing by poking at Minho’s entrance, groping over his ass, fondling his balls and even running a languid finger along the length of his cock.

That was particularly distressing for Minho’s unravelling brain, breathing ragged as he looked down between his legs, watching the way Jisung’s index finger swirled around his tip until the beading precome overflowed and fell to the shower floor in a large viscous drop.

Seemingly satisfied with the whine that elicited from deep in his throat, Jisung moved back to thumbing over his rim, all while Minho remained patient and helpless, letting Jisung take as long as he wished.

Minho kept one forearm supporting himself on the wall while the other hand had languidly started palmed himself, listening to Jisung’s breathing starting to hasten as well, soft pants warming the already heated skin on his nape. There was only so long they could hold off that desperate magnetism drawing them together, and Minho was positive Jisung’s rope was beginning to snap, soon there would be a collision of bodies a long time coming.

Suddenly Jisung’s hands were off him, Minho furrowed his brow, listening to the clattering of plastic bottles.

“Fuck,” Jisung cussed and Minho heard more movement behind him, “Shit, stay right there.”

Minho huffed out a laugh, hearing Jisung exist the shower, an arm still braced against the wall. He leant his flushed face against the cool tile to try and soothe the burning of his skin. He was completely gone and they’d barely done anything, as least as far as his ass and cock had to say.

Lust may have been underlying every one of their actions, but Minho was shocked how in control Jisung still appeared, taking his time with everything he did, even if a little clumsy. If Minho was leading them, he was sure they’d already be sated and passed out asleep in the bed. The pace Jisung had set was something torturous but Minho found himself enjoying every second.

Soon enough, Jisung was slipping back into the shower behind him. Minho tossed a questioning glance over his shoulder to see Jisung was now carrying a bottle of what had to be lube. He grinned a flustered smile, explaining, “I thought it was still in here.”

Minho snorted, rolling his eyes before bracing himself more firmly against the wall, “Well, get on with it then.”

“Y-yes.” 

Jisung’s fingers were unecessarily careful opening him up, Minho could tell Jisung was watching him closely, reading the way he responded to every touch. When he gasped or shivered, Jisung would adjust his hand accordingly. Minho hadn’t been with someone in so long that would take the time to figure out what made him squirm and cry out in pleasure. It was euphoric, letting himself fall apart under the trails of fire Jisung’s hands left. The flames had very little to do with his power and everything to do with the care and purpose of Jisung’s touch.

Too soon he was trying to pull Jisung’s hand away that had drifted back around and was loosely fisting his cock. The other had already worked him open until he was dripping, finger’s lightly playing with his prostate in a rhythm both infuriating and addictive.

His attempts to pull Jisung off were in vain, with a choked off cry Minho curled in on himself, coming in white spurts that dripped down the shower wall and were quickly circling down the drain.

“Shit,” Minho sighed, all but collapsing against the wall once the aftershocks faded, “You made me come too soon.”

“It’s alright.” Jisung’s freshly rinsed hand was caressing Minho’s side again, the other now keeping him steady, and rubbing lube into, his hip. “We have plenty of time for you to get hard again before the main course. I already planned on having my dessert first.”

Minho’s mind was still trying to recover from the bliss of Jisung’s hands, not understanding at all. His lips parted, ready with a question when he finally noted the sweet scent now cloying amongst the steam. He inhaled deeply and asked a disoriented, “What is that?”

Turning around, Minho saw the lopsided grin on Jisung’s face as he held up his lube coated fingers, wiggling them around in a lewd motion as he said, “It’s chocolate flavoured.”

Minho wanted to laugh, or maybe cry, only Jisung would pick such a sweet and decadent flavour for lube of all things.

This was the man he was ready to give away mortality to spend the rest of his life with.

He could only watch on in horror as Jisung’s smile grew, knowing something worse was about to come out of his mouth, “Not that I think your ass wouldn’t be delicious without, but you know I have a bit of a sweet tooth.”

Minho gulped. Oh , that’s what Jisung had planned. Minho hadn’t been eaten out in a long, long time.

“Only if you want to, of course?”

Jisung’s words sounded cautious and Minho was sure he was going to explode with fondness. If he was ready to tackle Jisung and ravish him on the bathroom floor, he couldn’t imagine what Jisung was fighting off to keep a clear head between them.

He settled for throwing himself back into Jisung’s arms, kissing him sweetly and whispering, “I’ll take whatever you’re offering.”

“Then let’s move this to the bed.”

Once they were dry enough to not leave pools of water through Jisung’s apartment, they finally fell on top of Jisung’s sheets as a pile of tangled limbs. Minho had straddled one of Jisung’s legs and was grinding his thigh up against Jisung’s neglected cock, all while licking his way back into Jisung’s mouth.

“You moved your lizard,” Minho stated offhandedly, lips still against Jisung’s,

“Maybe you were right, and I wanted to be the only one to see you like this.” Minho had to bite his tongue about saying a lot of people had seen him in a similar state, but Jisung quickly caught on, whining at him, “You know what I mean.”

It was true, Minho may have had to offer up his body to live, but that was completely different. Being in Jisung’s arms was a devout experience, the way he volunteered every part of himself to Jisung was something he hadn’t done since his first love so many years ago.

So, he could have stayed there for hours, drinking in only Jisung for the one night he allowed himself to be selfish, but Jisung was quick to flip them over, settling between Minho’s thighs and pushing his knees towards his chest.

Minho could do nothing but sigh, his eyes falling closed as the sensation of Jisung’s tongue lavishing over his most sensitive parts drove him wild. Each dip of the wet muscle over and into him made his hands grip tighter into the flesh of his legs as he held himself open for Jisung.

It was unhurried. It was messy. But somehow Jisung managed to make it hotter that way.

Minho could already feel the heat starting to simmer away again in the pit of his stomach.

Jisung nosed his way upwards, gently sucking one of Minho’s balls into his mouth before licking over the other, smirking at the involuntary cant of Minho’s hips and the shuddering sigh of Jisung’s name he exhaled.

He continued up higher, licking a long stripe up Minho’s shaft and only just wrapping his lips around the head, a thumb pressing into his perineum before Minho snapped.

It was too much. He’d never been so riled up in his life. He was sure Jisung’s touch was actually electric with the way it was shooting currents deep under his skin. He was positively throbbing with unbridled energy when he manhandled Jisung onto his back on the bed.

He sat back on Jisung’s cock, grinding it between his cheeks while his own forming erection dragged it way back and forth along the line of Jisung’s abs. Jisung’s hands gripped onto his hips, pulling Minho down to grind harder and making him whine, light and airy.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

Minho threw his head back and laughed, still rolling his hips, “I think you’ve told me that before,”

“Because it’s true, so I’ll keep saying it for as long as I can. Minho, you are absolutely breathtaking, and the best thing that ever happened to me was taking you home that night.”

Minho turned his head, feeling his cheeks set aflame, knowing Jisung could still see the rosy hue tipping his ear. To hide how flustered he truly was, he decided to keep things moving, shuffling his way back on the bed, sliding down Jisung’s body.

“My turn,” He winked, taking Jisung into his palm.

By now Jisung’s cock was flushed a lovely pink, and no doubt aching just a little. Minho was more than satisfied with the low moan Jisung released just by tightening his grip, stroking firmly once before leaning down to mouth around him.

He wasn’t in the mood to tease, no matter how much Jisung had played with him, easily sinking down and taking the cock deep into his throat without warning. Jisung responded with a groan, thrusting his hips up and choking out, “Sorry,” after realising what he’d done.

Minho just hummed, taking Jisung’s hand and putting it in his hair, encouraging him and continuing to bob his head. Figuring out what movements pleased Jisung was easy, he wasn’t shy with his sounds, praising Minho for what he liked, either tightening the grip in his hair or stroking through the dark stands in encouragement.

He wasn’t surprised to find Jisung liked it a little rough, crying out with a hopelessly high voice of pleasure when he squeezed firmly, thumbing the slit while licking over his balls.

“Okay, fuck. That’s enough, baby.”

Jisung gently pulled Minho off by his hair, taking his dick back and squeezing his own cock head to help the impending orgasm about to explode. Minho smiled, sitting on his haunches and admiring the mess he’d made of Jisung.

His eyes were dark, half-lidded, but his stare was true, watching Minho reverently. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, and Minho could see the thin shine of sweat starting to make his skin glow.

Jisung was gorgeous, a prize for the taking.

He smacked his lips, finally, finally, he’d get the true taste of the meal he’d wanted for the longest.

Jisung seemed to agree with that sentiment, drawing Minho back onto him, hugging him tight in his arms. Their lips easily found each other, moving with reserved desperation, trying not to rush into it too sloppily, but unable to help how much they needed each other.

Every millimetre of skin pressed to Jisung’s was neverendingly burning, and with how close they were pressed, Minho’s whole body was ignited.

“I-I don’t want this to end, but I really want to make love to you now.”

Minho was startled, he wasn’t expecting the phrasing. He knew Jisung loved him, but it was different, there, in the heat of the moment; seeing Jisung’s eyes glazed with lust but his voice still sincere.

“Please.”

Leaving one last kiss on Minho’s lips, Jisung scrambled over to his bedside table, he pulled out a small square foil. “I should use this, shouldn’t I?”

Minho snorted and rolled his eyes, “Hannie, I swear to whatever being that passes for God if you don’t get in me raw right now I will actually eat you.”

That was more than enough encouragement, Jisung quickly tossed the condom away and slathered himself back up. He stumbled his way back over, lining himself up between Minho’s legs.

Want. Want. Want.

Take.

“Do it now,” Minho whispered, closing his eyes and bracing himself, ignoring the voice in his head, “Before I lose my nerve.”

Jisung nodded, cradling Minho’s face with one hand while the other helped push himself in.

It was euphoric. The immediate rush of molten gold that flooded Minho’s veins the second Jisung was filling him up. He was sure his eyes rolled back, the moan he cried startling, feeling so impossibly full and already so much more satisfied than he had ever felt before.

No one who had ever touched him could compare to Jisung.

Want. Jisung. Need. Jisung. Take. Jisung.

“I love you,” Minho breathed out slowly, silencing the voice in his head, watching Jisung’s eyes light up like stars.

Those three words were something Minho never thought he’d ever be able to say again. But somehow, Jisung had restored whatever had been broken in his chest so long ago. Minho knew there was nothing but the truth behind that simple sentence.

The way Jisung was beaming down at him, told him that he knew just how much Minho meant the words too.

“Say it again,” Jisung commanded, thoughts so far from fucking into Minho after hearing a phrase he didn’t think possible.

“I love you,” Minho repeated, locking his body tighter to Jisung’s, once again pressing every possible inch of skin together.

“I love you.”

He rolled his hips upwards, forcing Jisung to fuck into him deeper.

“I love you.”

He grabbed at Jisung’s biceps, nails biting into the skin.

“I love you.”

His mouth pressed to Jisung’s neck, burying his face and inhaling the comforting scent of the man he adored.

“I love you.”

The words rolled off his lips like a mantra between his gasps and moans. Jisung was reaching so, so , deep, and he needed him to move .

“Please.”

As always, Jisung complied, pulling his hips back just to rock in slowly, building up a pace as he held Minho tight, whispering his own praises.

That night, Minho moved his body in sync with Jisung’s for as long as possible, both of them too wrapped up in each other to pay mind to something as simple as the seconds passing. He let Jisung take him in every position under the sun, and just when Jisung seemed to be losing steam, Minho would flip them around and show him a new angle, making them both cry out in overwhelming pleasure.

It was exhausting.

It was exhilarating.

The voice in Minho’s head was quiet.

The only thing that existed, the only thing that mattered, was the two of them, tangled tightly as one.

The lust crashed over them in waves, ebbing and flowing. One minute they were fucking like rabbits, Jisung hammering into Minho like his life depended on it, only to for the next to leave them stilled, tangled together in a moment of devotion; hands caressing softly, lips on jaws, necks, chests.

Minho was sure his glamour must have had some sort of effect on Jisung’s stamina, but he wasn’t going to complain, head rolled back, nails tearing into the bedsheets as Jisung caught his second - sixth? - wind, driving Minho further and further up the bed with each sharp thrust.

All Minho could do was lie there and accept the pleasure, hand working over his cock as he let Jisung chase his own high, never once forgetting about Minho, keeping his hips angled perfectly.

Before the tightening in his gut could explode into fireworks, Jisung slowed down and collapsed onto his side, pulling Minho with him so they could stay connected. He rasped out, “Sorry. I just need a minute.”

Sweat was running down his neck, hair stuck to his forehead, he was gasping, legs trembling with the effort he’d exerted, but still throbbing hard and taunting Minho, was his cock, not yet satisfied despite more than an hour they’d been at it.

Jisung looked a hot mess, and no doubt Minho did too, but it was still the most enticing sight he’d ever seen. He would keep that image of Jisung laid out beside him in mind for the rest of his life.

“Let me,” Minho offered. A similar fatigue weighed down his limbs, but he was more than willing to drag them over the finish line.

He settled himself back on Jisung’s lap, adjusting the cock inside him as he braced his hands on Jisung’s chest.

It was careful, calculated, rutting his hips in a way he’d already learnt would please Jisung from earlier in the night, and angle that also promised the treat his prostate well. 

“Nnngh, just like that,” Jisung encouraged, hands helping Minho keep pace, “Fuck, honey, I’m so close.”

“Me too,” Minho admitted, keeping his hips moving in those steady, firm circles. Jisung’s cock was rubbing him just right, all he’d need was two pumps to his cock and he was sure he’d explode.

He was so close, he needed the release, but he didn’t want it to end.

Then Jisung was sitting up, rubbing his thumbs over Minho’s cheeks, asking delicately “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Minho gasped, he hadn’t realised he was crying, but the tears were there, spilling over his cheeks because his heart was so full. Full of love. Full of Jisung. “I just… I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Jisung pressed his forehead to Minho’s, holding him so delicately as Minho kept his pace.

Jisung’s touch was careful, smooth as he stroked along Minho’s dick, keeping hold even as he gasped out, crying out as he came, filling Minho with a warmth so encompassing Minho couldn’t help but reach his high too.

Minho kept moving, thrusting himself onto Jisung’s cock as the glow faded, working them through their orgasms for as long as possible.

“Fuck,” Jisung finally sighed, head falling onto Minho’s shoulder as he collapsed against him. Minho’s thighs were aching, but he stayed firm to keep them both from collapsing back onto the bed. “You’re truly something else.”

Minho rubbed his hand down Jisung’s back, patting him as he would one of his cats, “I could say the same about you.”

Jisung’s words were lazy, whispered in a jumble against his shoulder, “I really love you.”

“I know.”

“And you love me too.”

“I do.”

“Don’t… Don’t leave me just yet.”

Minho could feel the lump returning in his throat, “I won’t.”

“Then lay with me, please.”

Minho nodded, carefully shifting them around, slipping Jisung out of him. He wiped off what he could of their mess and threw away the top blanket, leaving them with the top sheet to curl under.

Jisung’s breaths were quick to even out, slumber quickly taking him over, though his hand remained tightly laced with Minho’s even in sleep.

Minho laughed, brushing a wayward strand behind his ear and poking a full cheek, laughing as the skin bunched under his finger while Jisung didn’t even flinch. He poked again, harder. Jisung still didn’t so much as twitch.

Doubt started to creep into Minho’s mind, his stomach dropping with dread, only the steady rise and fall of Jisung’s chest was able to quell the fear running rampant through his body.

Alone while watching Jisung sleep, completely drawn from the world, made way for the guilt over what he’d done to strike into Minho’s heart.

He glanced at the clock on the bedside table, only now realising how long they’d spent together. He jumped back on the bed, curling into a ball on the furthest corner he could from Jisung, hands tightening to fists so hard he could feel his nails split the skin on his palms.

“I’m sorry,” He cried, breath rapidly increasing until he was sure he was hyperventilating.

Who knows how many years he’d stolen from Jisung. Too many. He was a monster, taking from the only person he could love.

It was wrong. He’d taken advantage of Jisung.

Jisung’s affirmations, his pleading words beforehand meant nothing to Minho when he was so sure his presence alone was enough to sway Jisung’s mind.

Minho sat there for too long, brokenly watching Jisung sleep as he sobbed.

The need to get away from his mistakes was what finally spurred him into action. He shuffled his way into the bathroom to find his clothes, sobs deepening when he saw the marks littered over his skin. He jumped into the shower, letting the cold water help him scrub away as much evidence of what he’d done as he could. He was quick to drag on his clothes, stepping back into the bedroom and ignoring his heart as it thumped painfully all over again.

He stepped up the Jisung’s side, looking so vulnerable, sleeping curled on his side, his arm still outstretched as if looking for Minho.

Leaning down, Minho placed a quick kiss on his temple, “I’m so sorry, for everything. But for what it’s worth, I did truly love you. The way my heart aches now watching you is proof of that. Go be happy, stay safe. I love you, jagi.”

Then he slipped out the front door, careful to make sure he’d taken everything he owned with him.

He wouldn’t be going back.

***

Minho shut himself away after that evening. It was too easy. To turn him back from the world and let the guilt eat him away.

The only thing that kept him moving, that forced him out of the house, was the need to collect food for his precious cats, without them he would have already disappeared into the deepest, darkest cave he could find.

There were plenty of efforts to contact him, messages and calls blowing up his phone, and knocks on his door at various times hoping to catch him by chance.

They were never successful.

Even when Jisung was begging on his doorstep, he wouldn’t crack. He was serious about keeping the human safe, so he would ignore his pleas, putting on headphones to block out the voice he loved until Jisung had to give up for the day.

It was well into his third week of isolation when there was harsh thumping on his door, he was ready to grab his headphones, to hide away in the bathroom and silently cry as he imagined Jisung’s tears through the door.

It wasn’t Jisung’s voice that called out though.

“You better open this up or I’m going to get Chan to come over and knock the door down.”

Hyunjin.

Minho was tempted to ignore him, but he knew that Hyunjin would be determined enough to go through with that plan.

Stomping into his entryway, he cracked open the door, keeping the chain in place so he could glare at Hyunjin through the slither of view.

“What do you want?”

“I’m here to help you, again. So open up.”

“Why should I?”

“Because this is a nice door, it’d be a shame to lose it.”

“You really think Chan would destroy private property just for you?”

Hyunjin actually blushed, and Minho squinted further as the other incubus spoke, “You’ve been away a while, Chan and I have actually grown closer... Besides, I’m here for your benefit. So let me in.”

Minho scoffed and nudged the door closed, rested his forehead against it, groaned, took a deep breath then slipped off the chain, yanking the door open with more force than required.

Hyunjin came through the entrance with a bright flourish, “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Minho ignored him, walking into the lounge to return to his blanket cocoon on the couch, hitting play on the nonsense drama he’d been pretending to watch.

“You look like shit.”

“And?”

“That should be impossible.”

Minho buried deeper into his blanket, covering as much of himself as possible from Hyunjin, snapping, “Even an incubus can have a bad day.”

“No, they can’t. Even if I starved myself for a year I wouldn’t look half as crap as you do right now.”

“Are you just here to insult me?”

“No,” Hyunjin threw his hands up, “I came to help you. But somehow every conversation we have ends with you making things difficult.”

“Thank you.”

Hyunjin groaned, “Look. When he couldn’t get through to you, Jisung sought me out.”

Minho kept staring at the television, seemingly disinterested, but he was sure Hyunjin saw the way his body tensed.

“He told me what you did,” Hyunjin said softly, cautiously,

“I’m not in the mood for a lecture,” Minho’s voice was surprisingly quiet too, none of its usual bite remaining, “I know it was wrong.”

“Was it though?”

Minho turned to him, eye twitching, “Of course it was. I loved him. I loved him and I made him fall for me. I used this curse to lure him in and take decades from his life.”

“How do you know that’s what happened?”

“Because we’re monsters. That's all we know.”

Hyunjin tentatively put a hand on Minho’s hunched shoulder, “I don’t think you’re a monster.”

“Don’t talk semantics with me. Incubus, devil, monster. It’s the same thing,” Minho tch-ed.

He could feel Hyunjin’s exasperation building, he wasn’t trying to be stubborn, he was just speaking the truth. He had been locked up for days with just his mind for company. Going over every detail, he’d pried everything between Jisung and him apart until all that remained was shattered pieces of his heart and disjointed memories that would haunt him for years to come.

Sighing, Hyunjin decided to steer him down another path, “Fine then. But Minho, when was the last time you fed?”

He pointed to the empty take out container on the table.

“No, I don’t mean food.”

Minho growled, “You know it was Jisung.”

“And you’re not hungry? At all? It’s been weeks.”

“That just shows how much I took from him,” He mumbled, shrugging.

“I don’t think you’re understanding.” Hyunjin ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Min, I saw Jisung in the flesh and he was perfectly fine.”

“Right now…”

“No,” Hyunjin’s voice was firm, “He was fine because I don’t think you did anything to him.”

Letting his blanket shield slip down, Minho glanced at his friend, confusion morphing his features as he asked,  “What do you mean?”

“You know, I hated Jisung at first-”

Minho muttered under his breath, “That was pretty obvious.”

Hyunjin chose to ignore him.

“I only acted that way because I was scared for you, and for him. But these past few months, this is the happiest you’ve been in a long time. I think it’s the happiest you’ve been since I met you.”

“And?”

“And Jisung was happy too.”

Minho shook his head, grunting, “He was happy living a lie.”

“He loved you, and you loved him,” Hyunjin defended adamantly, trying desperately to get Minho to look at him and see he was being serious.

Minho felt that tightening in his chest again, the lump forcing its way up to his throat until it was choking him. It was one thing having lived it with Jisung, in their own little world with just the two of them, but having Hyunjin acknowledge his feelings too, that hurt.

The guilt was suffocating him. Everything he’d done was so much worse knowing how much he cared for Jisung, how much Jisung cared for him, and he still betrayed that trust.

He had to move on. Even if it felt impossible at that moment.

“That’s in the past now.”

“Is it?” Hyunjin raised a perfect brow, “Because I think you still love him.”

Minho’s hands tightened to fists, he couldn’t understand why Hyunjin was doing this, dragging him through the mud until everything was dirty and broken. As if he wasn’t already hurting enough.

“So what if I do? It changes nothing. I won’t hurt him again.”

“Just, be quiet for a second.” Hyunjin squeezed his shoulder pointedly, “Listen to yourself. You love him. We’re incubi. Our hearts were sealed over when we accepted this curse. We don’t love. It’s not possible.”

Minho felt tears building, whatever the point was Hyunjin was trying to make, it was crushing him. Minho could feel his chest stutter, trying desperately to breathe through the feelings drowning him. His mouth open and closed, unsuccessfully blubbering, trying to let Hyunjin know that he knew, he knew it was impossible.

He could never love anyone.

He would never love again.

“Then how come you love Han Jisung?”

“I-I… I don’t know.” The tears were escaping now, running rapidly down the sharp lines of his face, his chin trembling with sobs, “I’m just so confused. Everything hurts.”

Quickly Hyunjin ushered Minho into his arms, voice soothing “I know. I know.”

It was strange, in all the years they’d known each other, Minho had never been in that position. He wasn’t vulnerable, especially not to Hyunjin.

But there he was, letting everything he’d bottled for the past few weeks - no, the past many months - come crashing down around him as he clung to Hyunjin’s shirt hopelessly. He cried out all the sorrow until there were no more tears left to give until he was left hiccuping into his friend’s chest.

“You wanna know the strangest part?” Minho asked, voice rough, long after the last tear had soaked into the expensive fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt. “I think this hurts more than when that bastard cheated on me. How can letting Jisung go hurt more than that? How can his betrayal feel like nothing compared to this heartache?”

Minho sniffled, nervous hands playing with Hyunjin’s buttons.

“How can the sorrow that sparked this horrible curse be incomparable to this sadness I feel right now?”

Hyunjin stroked over Minho’s back, running a soothing hand through his hair, he had nothing to say to that, so all he could do was his presence as comfort. He was thankful when one of the ginger cats jumped up now that the sobbing had subsided, demanding presence in Minho’s lap, the feline seemed to help calm him.

“I think… I think if you should go and speak to Jisung-”

Minho started to protest, but Hyunjin wouldn’t let him

“No, just listen. Speak to him. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to promise him anything. Just, let him explain himself to you and after hearing what he says, then you can decide if it’s really the end or not.”

Minho frowned, he didn’t know what Jisung could possibly say to ever convince him to go back. But he felt lighter, if only slightly, after unloading everything on Hyunjin. After stewing in his guilt by himself for too long, it was cathartic knowing he wasn’t really alone. So, he could do that one favour for his friend, even if his heart spluttered some hopeful tune at the thought of seeing Jisung again.

“Fine,” Minho grumbled, finally pulling himself from Hyunjin’s chest to pretend as if he hadn’t just been crying into him while at his lowest point ever, “I’ll talk to him, but don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

Hyunjin cocked his head, humming, “Forgotten what?”

“Whatever is happening between you and Chan. I’m a little grossed out… But… happy for you?” He inflected that last part as a question.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Hyunjin’s smile was shy, fond. “But we can talk about that later, firstly, you need to go speak to your man.”

“He’s not my man.” Minho threw up his middle finger as he stood from the couch, depositing the cat from his lap onto the nest of blankets left behind. Now, you have until I get out of the shower to be out of my house before you die.”

Safe to say, the house was empty when Minho walked back into the living room, a simple shower having him much more refreshed and almost feeling human - ha, ha - again.

He was nervous, having already sent a text to Jisung telling him he was ready to meet, but the thrum of anxious anticipation under his skin was soothed by the text saying, good luck , left by Hyunjin.

Minho was hurting. He’d convinced himself there was no finding forgiveness for what he’d done. But for all the pain he’d caused, Jisung deserved a chance to say his farewells.

***

It was awkward, sitting in the corner of a cafe, Jisung staring him down while he couldn’t meet his eyes. There was no easy way to start the conversation, especially seeing as the last time Jisung had spoken to him had been naked in the post-coital glow.

Yeah, Minho had fucked up.

He didn’t regret his decision in leaving, but he knew it was the tactless, cowardly way out.

Finally glancing up, Minho was shocked to find Jisung’s eyes weren’t seething with hatred. They were filled with sadness, as expected, but instead of anger, the look was pitying. Minho didn’t like it.

He needed Jisung gone before he did something reckless like begging to be taken back.

“You said you wouldn’t come after me,” Minho decided to jump straight to the point,

“That was before.”

“Before what?”

Jisung reached out, trying to grab Minho’s hand from the table, but the latter was quick in pulling himself back, “Min, darling-”

“You shouldn’t call me that,”

Jisung frowned, “Don’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“Exactly.”

“Jisung,” Minho’s voice was stern, “I don’t understand what you want from me.”

“I don’t want anything from you, I want you ,” Jisung’s response was blunt. “I’ve always wanted you. And it has nothing to do with what you are- what you were.” Jisung was biting his lip nervously, picking at his nails, “I think it’s broken. The curse. I can’t feel your pull anymore.”

Minho stiffened where he was staring Jisung down, blinking once, then twice.

Jisung was right, now that it had been pointed out, the intruding want inside him was silent, there was no voice pushing him towards Jisung. There was no hunger tickling at the back of his throat. He still felt a deep ache, begging to cradle Jisung close and never let him go, but that was all thanks to his heart.

It couldn’t be true. He was just out of sorts after the past few weeks he’d had.

But maybe...

“You really think it’s broken?” He asked carefully,

Jisung nodded, “After that night, when I woke, it wasn’t surprising to see you gone, it still hurt, but I sort of expected it. What I didn’t expect was to jump out of bed as brightly as anything. Yeah, my muscles were burning from fucking you for hours, but I felt refreshed. I wasn’t tired at all.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Right? I was expecting to sleep for a week.” Jisung ducked his head, sounding ashamed, “And I know it went against what I promised, but I had to be sure, so I went to your door and usually that would be enough to feel that pulling in my chest, drawing me to you, but it wasn’t there. I tried to explain, to call to you, but you wouldn’t open the door.”

Minho looked away then, feeling sheepish.

“I know how we can find out.” Jisung lifted his arm, placing it in the centre of the table, voice commanding, “Touch me.”

So Minho did, heart racing in his chest, he hesitantly poked Jisung’s outstretched palm. The skin was warm and soft under his fingertips, but most importantly, it wasn’t buzzing.

Minho lunged forward, holding Jisung’s hand in both of his, neither palm feeling a thing. He rubbed up further, running over every inch of Jisung’s skin, none of it tingling under his touch. Then he brought Jisung’s hand up, taking a steady breath before placing the lightest of kisses over a knuckle. Again, Jisung’s skin was warm under his lips, but there was no spark, no zap of energy.

“H-how?”

Minho was in disbelief. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact it was gone. After so long, how could he accept he wasn’t an incubus?

Jisung ducked his head again, whispering “I have an idea, but it’s sort of cringey.”

“Tell me.”

“I think it was because you admitted you love me.” Jisung awkwardly rubbed his neck.

 Minho realised once again the strained position he’d put them in by running away, he was so focused on his own nerves he hadn’t considered how hard it would be for Jisung to see him again, to talk about what had happened between them.

“I know it’s fairytale cliche, but what better way to break a curse - one that sealed away your heart and made sex a revenge-fueled chore - than to crack open that icy heart and admit you love someone when you’re the most vulnerable in the middle of that sex?”

Minho thought it over. Finally saying, “I think Disney had less fucking in their stories.”

Jisung rolled his eyes.

“You do kind of have a point though… That explains why Jeongin couldn’t help us. The ingredients were in place, I already loved you, I just hadn’t realised it yet. I hadn’t accepted it.”

“Do you…” Jisung’s voice was careful, quiet, “Do you still love me?”

This was his chance. This was Jisung holding out a hand to him, all he had to do was take it and the past couple of weeks could be forgotten.

Had he earnt that? Did he deserve another chance?

“If I do?”

A small hopeful smile started to stretch on Jisung’s face, “Then take me back. Or don’t let me go. Whatever it means to stay with me, to keep being us. Oh, move in with me!”

“Woah,” Minho laughed timidly, putting his hands up to settle Jisung down, “But what if I don’t?”

Jisung’s eyes widened, mouth dropping open in surprise, and Minho had to hold in his chuckle at the affronted look. Jisung quickly realised Minho was teasing him, scoffing and sitting back with his arms crossed, “Then you’re an asshole.”

“You know,” Minho leaned over and drew Jisung’s hands to him again, thumbs brushing over his knuckles, “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, starting from when I married the wrong man so long ago, but you weren’t one of them.” Minho looked up into his eyes, trying to convey his sincerity, “It’s taken me a long time to realise, but I think you were the only thing I got right.”

Jisung was speechless for a moment, mouth open in an endeared gasp before he was able to find his voice again, “You stop that right now, you’ll make me cry in the middle of a damned coffee shop.”

He tightened his hold on Jisung’s hands, searching his face for an answer, would all his fears, all his guilt, be fixed just like that?

“So, the real question here is, will you forgive me?” Minho’s voice was sincere, with an edge of pleading, “Because I’ll gladly try being us. Once more.”

He knew he was asking for a lot, but he was hoping desperately, praying that all that time spent hiding away was just a blip in their relationship. He’d spent far too long running from Jisung, and if he was free of the curse, there was no more time for running, he had a mortal life to live.

“I forgive you. Just this last time though,” Jisung grumbled, “I think it’s about time you started chasing after me anyway. My legs aren’t built for all that running.”

“I’m sorry,” Minho laughed, pressing his lips to Jisung’s hands again, he couldn’t get enough of it, he wanted to touch Jisung as much as he could now. “How about I just hold you forever instead?”

“Hmmm, it’s an acceptable alternative.”

Minho thought with the supernatural part of him gone, touch would lose some of its excitement. Without that thrum of energy sinking into his skin, he couldn’t believe the thrill of holding someone would be the same, but with Jisung in his hands, knowing he wasn’t hurting him, he was feeling ecstatic. He wanted nothing more than to map Jisung’s body out all over again. No curse in the way. Just his hands caressing Jisung’s skin.

“Um…” Jisung drew him back from his wandering thoughts, “You may want to apologise to Felix too.”

Minho’s eyes widened and he groaned. He’d only just been forgiven for abandoning Jisung the first time, and it was a long journey earning forgiveness. Felix may have been sweet, but he held a grudge against those who hurt his friends.

“You think I would have learnt after the last time, if I try to run again, he has permission to fight me.”

Jisung cocked a brow at him.

“But I swear I have no more plans of running, when I’m feeling overwhelmed I’ll share what I’m feeling from now on, or at least I’ll try to...”

“Maybe you should see someone about this whole ‘becoming an incubus and being turned back’ thing. Do they have supernatural therapists?”

Minho shrugged and chuckled, “I bet Chan knows a guy.”

It wasn’t a bad suggestion. Minho would have to follow up on that...

“Oh, and while we’re in a sharing mood, do you also want to explain to me why you still had your cheating ex-husband’s ring?”

Minho froze, grimacing, “It had a sentimental value.”

“What? To remind you of a lacklustre dick?”

“No.” Minho sniggered, Jisung was right about that, but that wasn’t the reason he kept the trinket around. “It was to remind me not to get close to people because I’ll only end up hurt.”

“Oh.”

“But I realised that was a stupid notion after meeting you. That awful ring was holding me back. I’m glad it’s gone.”

“Good.” Jisung grinned, “You need to save room for a new one.”

“Han Jisung,” Minho froze up, “You did not just insinuate you’re gonna propose.”

“Maybe not now, but I always thought I’d make a great husband.”

“But you can’t cook and you’re hopeless at cleaning.”

Jisung whined at having his flaws pointed out, “But I have a job. I can be the beard winner, you can be the stay-at-home cat-dad.”

Minho pursed his lips, “You’re sweetening the deal, what else have you got?”

“Uh… I give great massages, I can draw stylized hentai featuring us, and I’ve heard my dick is pretty bomb.”

Minho snorted, his eyes glanced down, judging. Jisung went to curl in on himself before scrounging up some bravado and puffing out his chest, making Minho laugh harder.

Finally acquiescing, Minho offered, “Make it a spectacular proposal and I’ll consider it. But you better not cheat on me, because you know I’ll come back just to fuck you into an early grave.”

“You know, there could be worse ways to go,” Jisung shrugged,

Minho sighed, “You’re still the stupidest human I know.”

“And you’re just as handsome as you were as an incubus, but I like you better this way.”

“What way?”

“Human.”