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Sehun is power walking to the arts building on the other side of campus from the sports center, where he had just completed archery practice in preparation for the upcoming regionals. He’s trying to make it there before his best friend, Jongin, finishes his ballet class. It’s the perfect opportunity to go spy on the danseur. Jongin sort of hates it whenever Sehun calls him that, which is precisely why Sehun keeps it in his vocabulary.
He and Jongin are both sixth year students at Exordium Academy, a prestigious all-boys boarding school for grades six through twelve. If Sehun has to describe what the all-boys boarding school experience is like in two words, he’d say: it stinks. The body odor is horrible and impossible to avoid no matter where he goes. Same with all the fragile male egos and unnecessary posturing that goes on around him when Sehun is just trying to live his life. It doesn’t help that their contact with girls their age is limited, leaving the entire student body desperate for female attention - which, in turn, leads to a lot of... crazy behavior, to say the least.
Like one time, a new transfer student brought his parents and sister along to tour the campus. As soon as someone spotted her, the news spread like wildfire, and the guys ran to the windows to get a glimpse of the almost mythical being. It was embarrassing, the way they all acted. Okay fine - it was exciting for Sehun, too. She was pretty, okay? At least from what he could tell from that distance. Sehun hadn’t run to see her, but that’s because he happens to have a window seat during homeroom. Though in no way did that justify him getting pushed aside for his classmates to get a better view.
As Sehun ponders all this, he reaches the arts building and takes the steps up three at a time to the second floor. He peeks in through the window, and sure enough, Jongin is still in there, standing focused in first position. He watches, enthralled as Jongin takes a breath, then releases into a series of pirouettes à la seconde and fouettés across the floor. Years ago - when Jongin first picked up ballet - he had taught Sehun the basic terminology. Sehun had asked out of curiosity, because it seemed necessary to know anything remotely related to his best friend. After all the years they’ve spent together, Sehun still feels like there’s a never-ending amount of knowledge left to acquire about Jongin, who is always growing as a person - in his interests, his mindset, and skills, and he shows a new part of himself every day, particularly when he’s dancing. It’s quite thrilling for Sehun to watch him as a spectator, the way other people - who don’t know Jongin the way he does - must see him.
Sehun watches for a while longer until Jongin’s lesson is over, and after he’s finished up with his post-stretches, too. He hears the door open, and when Jongin sees Sehun sitting in the hallway, he walks over and ruffles the top of Sehun’s head with his fingers. Sehun unconsciously leans into the touch.
“Sorry, dude. Were you waiting long?” Jongin asks.
“Not long enough. I only saw a few of your cool spins! I want to see more.” Sehun frowns.
Jongin grins. “Well, the performance is soon, so you’ll see more then.”
“Ugh, fine.”
They walk back to the dorms together, talking about how they want to spend the rest of their evening. Wednesdays are half-days, so their classes were over at noon to make time for specialized lessons and extracurricular activities. They eventually decide to default to their usual hobby when all else fails, which is playing WOW. Sehun loves playing Death Knight, and he always destroys Jongin’s Warrior when they play PvP. Jongin’s a good sport about it, though, so sometimes Sehun has his sneaking suspicions that Jongin might be letting him win. Nah, no way, Sehun just kicks ass, period.
As they’re walking side-by-side, Sehun steals a glance at Jongin’s side profile, then finds himself staring at how the sun makes Jongin’s face… look like that. Like, he's so perfect he almost doesn't seem real? Great, he’s doing it again - it’s been happening ever since a few days ago, when Sehun had first noticed how Jongin is attractive, and now he can’t stop. Generally speaking, he always knew it, in the way guys can acknowledge when another guy looks cool and that girls would find them attractive and stuff - but this time he’s acknowledging it in a slightly different way. In the sense that Sehun might be attracted to him.
Nope, it’s not something Sehun wants to think about right now.
He’s always been attracted to girls, and still is, so it’s uncharted territory every time Sehun looks at Jongin with new eyes. Suddenly, there’s butterflies in the pit of his stomach, however cliche that term may be. But Sehun doesn’t know how else to describe it, except maybe feeling nauseated? He really thought he was sick the first few times it happened, shut up. And whenever Jongin leans in closer to whisper something funny into his ear, Sehun’s traitorous heart has the audacity to speed up a teensy bit faster, making his laughter sound awkward and nervous. So far, Jongin hasn’t suspected anything has changed, though. At least Sehun hopes so.
Sehun feels guilty. He’s used to telling Jongin practically anything that ever crosses his mind, but this is the one thing that he can’t share. It’s an invisible line Sehun knows best friends can never cross, unless they don’t want to be best friends anymore. The way things are right now between them, the way things have always been and always will be - it’s perfect, and Sehun doesn’t need to ruin that with his stupid feelings, or whatever the heck is going on. Just getting through boarding school is more than enough for Sehun to deal with.
He boards all seven days of the week (same as Jongin and the majority of the student body), as opposed to a few day students who commute, since his parents live in a different state. Tradition called for Sehun’s enrollment: his father had, of course, graduated from Exordium. He always told Sehun he had received a world-class education here, and that he was sure Sehun would ‘grow up into a fine man under the discipline and structure that only an all-boys boarding school could provide’. Sehun is in his sixth year now - the probability of him turning into the man his dad expects of him is fifty-fifty, at best. Next year is graduation, and Sehun doesn’t feel anywhere near ready for university, or the real world in general.
At the beginning, Sehun had a hard time adjusting to boarding school life. He was a clingy child - something he won’t openly admit, even now. The first month he was terribly homesick and irate, constantly missing his mom’s cooking, and the general freedom he used to have when he was still in public school. Even his favorite pillow and blanket he brought from home were no longer giving him the comfort they used to. But without a doubt, the transition would’ve been infinitely more difficult if Sehun didn’t have Jongin by his side to help him through it.
Jongin is Sehun’s best friend since the womb, meaning all his life and even before that, which is pretty crazy to think about. Their fathers knew each other since Exordium, and they continued to maintain their friendship long after they had graduated, and even after they started their own families. Then, because of their husbands, Sehun and Jongin’s mothers developed a closer friendship, and this resulted in daily playdates for Sehun and Jongin as they were growing up. They went on to attend the same public primary school, before they were shipped off by their parents to Exordium for the rest of their pre-college education.
Jongin was much better at adjusting to change than Sehun, even before boarding school. Sure, he missed home, but he coped by focusing on schoolwork and extracurriculars. Sehun makes fun of him for being a nerd, but he really admires Jongin a lot. Not just his work ethic, but his maturity, his strong sense of morality, how he never backs down from what he truly believes in, and how he inspires Sehun to be a better person, too. Jongin is just overall a really great human being. Sehun might be biased, though - Jongin is his best friend, after all.
Although Sehun and Jongin board full-time, they have most of their weekends free to socialize, and their curfews on Friday and Saturday nights are later (midnight for eleventh graders). But it’s hard to meet girls when there’s this stigma against the Exordium Academy boys. The ones who go to the public co-ed high school avoid them because they think they’re weirdos, and if Sehun’s being honest, they aren’t wrong. There’s a lot of maladjusted kids here, which isn’t surprising because they’re hyper-focused on schoolwork and “building character” but don’t get enough real interaction with the outside world.
Sehun isn’t girl-crazy the way the other boys are, but he’s still a teenage boy who finds girls attractive. He’s curious about somewhat weird things he wouldn’t admit to anyone but Jongin, like how good a girl’s hair must smell - can you blame him when most of his schoolmates don’t seem to know the meaning of deodorant? - and of course, the more common fantasy of what it’s like to actually kiss a girl. Sehun thinks it’s tragic how he’s never been kissed in his entire life, but it’s not like a lot of the guys have much experience, either. There’s only one guy in Sehun’s grade who has a girlfriend, and they suspect it’s because he’s one of the day students, so he goes home after classes end at four. Maybe that makes him a normal teenager to the rest of the population, who knows. Most of the guys board full-time so they’re in the same boat as Sehun in terms of meeting girls, Jongin included.
But Jongin is different because he doesn’t like to talk about girls all that much anyway, even with Sehun. Meanwhile, here Sehun is, public enough about his crush on Miranda Kerr to have a fan account on Twitter, which Jongin loves to tease him about. His 'Hey Sehun, how’s Miranda doing? Does she know you exist yet?' commentary is getting old. Sehun doesn’t actually know if Jongin has a type, which is rather unfair. Why wouldn't Jongin share this information with him? It might go down as one of life’s greatest mysteries.
~*~
The following morning is a designated physical education day on the academic cycle, so Sehun has to get up an hour earlier to go run three miles before homeroom. Except he’s still wrapped up in his orange comforter, a perfectly warm cocoon, hitting the snooze button every two minutes. That is, until someone rudely rips off his blanket, exposing his sensitive skin to the cold air.
“Sehun, get up. You wanna get yelled at by Mr. Russo? You know he’ll make you run another mile,” Jongin warns.
The threat of another mile works. Sehun rolls out of bed onto the floor, then begrudgingly begins the search for his compression shorts. Jongin throws him one of his own clean moisture-wicking shirts - it helps that they wear the same size, though it unhelpfully lands on Sehun’s face.
When he’s finally presentable (they’re not allowed to run in their pajamas - otherwise Sehun would be all about that life), Sehun notes that their other two roommates, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, are missing. He assumes they’re already out on the courtyard, just as Jongin notices him looking at their empty beds and confirms that yes, they got up earlier and left fifteen minutes ago.
“Then why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Sehun whines. He doesn’t like being the last one to arrive at the outdoor track in the mornings, even though Jongin is always with him regardless. Sehun feels as if everyone stares at him with judge-y eyes, as if he had stayed up all night watching porn or something. He did no such thing.
“Believe me, I tried.” Jongin laughs.
Sehun wasn’t always like this - he swears he used to be a morning person. But the rigidity of a boarding school’s daily schedule gives him less time to do things he wants to do, like watch his romcoms. Sometimes he’s forced to stay up until three or four in the morning to secretly use his phone under the covers. There’s a no phone policy after the lights are out, and it would get confiscated if he were caught.
Ironically, Jongin, who used to be a night owl, adjusted well to a highly-defined schedule, and now he regularly wakes up before Sehun. Sehun remembers back when they were kids, like seven or eight, it was nearly impossible to get Jongin to wake up in the mornings. Sehun sort of misses being the one who could wake Jongin up, just so he can pull at Jongin’s cheeks while he’s still sleeping, and make fun of his bedhead.
Jongin and Sehun are the last ones outside, but at least they make it on time. Sehun’s just happy he doesn’t get yelled at. As they wait in line for their gym teacher to finish roll call, Sehun whispers thanks to the slightly taller boy (Jongin is only half an inch taller than him now - Sehun is proud he’s catching up) - for always waking him up when he oversleeps, and on top of that, waiting for him to get ready, when he could easily leave him behind. Jongin bumps his shoulder, grinning. Sehun knows he means You’d do the same for me, too.
Sehun would, without a doubt. That’s what best friends are for.
~*~
After classes end, they have some free time until dinner. They were told to get there on time because there would be some sort of “exciting announcement”. Chanyeol is especially hyped about this, having convinced himself they were going to get a surprise day off; he is busy attempting to convince the others this, as well. Kyungsoo, forever the voice of reason, insists this is impossible, as they had already been blessed with a three-day weekend the week prior. The faculty would never give them another day off too soon - that would be spoiling them too much.
“You never know, though,” Chanyeol says. His optimism cannot be deterred. Jongin commends him for that.
“Sehun, what do you think the announcement is for?” Jongin turns to ask Sehun.
“Hm. I’m not sure, but I hope it’s a trip of some kind. A museum, a historical site - anything. When was the last time we went on a trip?” Sehun wonders.
Kyungsoo nods. “Could be. We haven’t had one this month because of the three day weekend.” It’s true that they haven’t had a school trip in a while, but that’s by private school standards. Compared to public schools, they go on quite a lot of trips designed to “enhance their educational experience”. These are scheduled roughly once a month. Last month, they went to the contemporary art museum in the city, and Sehun and Jongin loved all the cool installation art and immersive exhibitions. Their camera rolls are stock full of all the pictures they took together that day.
“Well, whatever it is, we’re about to find out,” Jongin says. He points to their clock on the wall - it's almost time for dinner.
The four boys get ready for dinner, which mainly consists of tucking in their polo shirts, and making sure their collars are folded properly. Dinner is considered a formal event, so they’re still required to be in the uniform they wear during the school day - blazers, ties, the whole deal. After dinner, they’re allowed to change into casual clothing for the rest of the evening.
Jongin watches Sehun as he fixes his hair in front of the mirror. His bangs have been totally uncooperative lately - he needs a haircut, badly. Sehun wastes a good two minutes trying to arrange the strands to his liking, before Jongin earnestly examines his hair and assures him that he looks completely fine. Sehun disagrees, but he gives in anyway.
Now that Sehun is finished looking at himself in the mirror, Jongin raises his arm in front of him in a silent question. Sehun grabs Jongin's wrist to help button the cuff on his sleeve - it had come undone earlier in the day - and catches Kyungsoo looking at them during this whole process with an amused expression on his face. Sehun would’ve demanded to know what Kyungsoo was thinking, if not for the fact that they really have to head out now if they want to make it on time for the announcement.
The dining hall is in a separate building from the dormitory, accessible by crossing a courtyard, where the students are allowed to eat outdoors if they choose to do so, and weather permitting. Sehun loves to eat outside whenever possible. He and Jongin have a favorite spot under the biggest oak tree, which gives them the perfect amount of shade.
But tonight is one of their formal dinner days held in the great dining hall specifically for the upperclassmen, with rows of long, banquet-style tables covered with white tablecloth. The boys take their seats, with Jongin taking his beside Sehun. They’ve always sat together for lunch ever since Sehun could remember. It’s just one of those unwritten rules.
The ringing of the triangle bell indicates dinner is about to be served, and the entire dining hall quiets down as Mrs. Lim goes up to the podium at the front of the room to make an announcement.
“Okay, boys - I know you have all been waiting patiently for the announcement.” The guys nod and murmur in agreement, and someone in the other table coughs, Just tell us already! “Everyone has been on good behavior lately, so we decided to organize a group social with your sister school, Rose Haven! Your residential assistants will explain in more detail to you all tonight, but the event will take place next Friday. For now, enjoy your dinner, and the rest of your weekend.”
As soon as their teacher steps off the podium, the dining hall erupts into excited conversation.
“Is this REAL LIFE?” Chanyeol exclaims. “This is way better than getting a day off.”
“This is the first time you sound happy you’re wrong.” Jongin laughs.
“I’d prefer the trip, personally. But I guess I don’t mind a social, for the change of pace,” Kyungsoo says.
Chanyeol and Sehun look at him like he’s crazy, while Jongin agrees with Kyungsoo.
“Aren’t you excited, dude?” Sehun asks Jongin.
“I mean, I guess. But you know my older sisters went to Rose Haven. It doesn’t have the same mystery for me the way it does for you guys,” Jongin explains.
“I know, but this is different,” Sehun says. “This could be a chance for us to get a girl’s phone number.” Sehun truly believes this is the universe’s way of saying, Sehun, now is your chance to meet a cute girl! and also distract him from other thoughts he will not be bringing to attention right now.
“Or maybe even a kiss!” Chanyeol adds, hopeful as ever.
“Good luck with that,” Kyungsoo says, deadpan. “The social is probably going to be, I don’t know, three hours at most? If you can get a girl you just met to kiss you within three hours, I’d be surprised.”
“You wanna bet on it?” Chanyeol asks, eyes igniting for the challenge.
While Kyungsoo and Chanyeol continue their conversation, Sehun turns to Jongin to have a more private one.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know, you just seem quiet. More than usual,” Sehun says.
“It’s nothing, I just feel a little tired. It was a long day, and we still have to study.”
“You want me to get you a cup of coffee?” Sehun asks, looking worried.
“No, sick! I’m not that tired.” Jongin laughs.
Both Sehun and Jongin still think coffee is actual poison - it tastes too bitter and disgusting, and it’s hard for them to imagine a time when they could ever like it. Maybe it’s a rite of passage into adulthood. But for now, it’s an inside joke for them to gauge how tired the other is. If they’re willing to force themselves to drink coffee, that’s next level kind of tired - the kind of tired that only happens during final exam week.
After dinner, they head back to their dorms to wash up and change into more casual clothes for mandatory study hall. It’s a two-hour period in which they can choose to work on homework assignments, projects, study for exams, or read, if they’re caught up on everything else. Sehun had hated it at first, but over time, he grew to appreciate the benefits of setting a time specifically for getting work done. Sehun is somewhat of a procrastinator, but he’s gotten much better at completing assignments on time now. That, and he always has Jongin to make sure he stays focused. If left to his own devices, Sehun may or may not revert back to playing PUBG instead of doing homework.
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo leave early to go to their Music Club meeting. Sehun and Jongin stay in the dorm until study hall, since they don’t have any of their club meetings today.
With some time to kill before study hall starts, Sehun hops into Jongin’s bed and they sit with their backs against the wall as they watch whatever new videos were uploaded onto their favorite Youtube channels. These days, they’re into prank videos for some real life inspiration, and when they get bored of that, Jongin watches cute animal vids, while Sehun switches to TikTok. Every time Sehun finds a good one, he shows it to Jongin so they can crack up together. He’s like the filter for quality TikTok content, all so Jongin won’t have to waste his time on videos that suck and further his dislike for the app (he refuses to install it on his phone).
“We should make our own videos!” Sehun suggests with enough enthusiasm for the both of them. “We’d go viral for sure.”
“I’d rather not,” Jongin replies.
“But why.”
“It’s dumb! Going viral is overrated.”
“Maybe, but it’s fun, I swear! Let’s do the Hit Every Beat challenge.”
Jongin rolls his eyes, but before he knows it, Sehun drags him to standing and has him learning the dance alongside him. Jongin learns it in a second.
“Dude, that was basically the Macarena,” Jongin points out.
“But you had fun, right?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Soon enough, it’s time for study hall, so the boys pack what they need into their book bags before heading down to the library.
“Where do you want to study today?” Jongin asks as they’re walking down the hallway. They pass by Baekhyun, who low-fives them both before stopping to examine them closely for some reason.
“Do you lovebirds really have to be matching all the time?” Baekhyun asks, laughing.
“What are you talking about?” Jongin asks.
“You’re wearing couple outfits,” Baekhyun bluntly points out.
“We are?” Sehun asks, then looks down at his outfit, then Jongin’s. Oh shit, they are. They’re both wearing black t-shirts, jeans, and their matching Converses, though Jongin is wearing dark wash denim and Sehun is in his favorite acid-wash ripped jeans with the holes on the knees that Jongin likes to poke at. Believe him or not, this totally wasn’t planned. “I guess we are.”
Baekhyun shakes his head, then slaps them both on their shoulders before continuing on his way in the other direction. “Anyway I gotta go, see you guys tomorrow at homeroom!”
The students have a choice between studying freely on their own, or doing proctored silent study on the third floor, but no cell phones are allowed there. There are other quiet rooms available for studying by themselves without a proctor, so it’s mainly a matter of how much work they’re trying to get done tonight.
“Let’s go to the second floor and see if we can find any quiet rooms for just us two,” Sehun suggests.
Jongin nods in agreement, and they both sign in their names at the front desk before taking the stairs up to the second floor. There’s a free room, which Sehun snags immediately before anyone else tries to take it.
“Score!” Sehun says, after they’ve settled in and unpacked their laptops and books.
First off is math homework. It’s not that Sehun hates math, but he just doesn’t like how the questions are worded sometimes. It makes things seem unnecessarily complicated, even though he mostly understood the examples their teacher went over in class. He attempts some of the problems himself before leaning over to his right, to peer over Jongin’s shoulder and spy on his progress.
“Do you need help?” Jongin asks, smiling at the corner of his lips.
“Er. Maybe,” Sehun says.
Jongin looks over his work, and compliments Sehun on the answers he got right. For the ones Sehun is stuck on, Jongin breaks down the problem into terms that make more sense, and Sehun is able to work the rest out on his own.
“This makes so much more sense now. You’re the best, Jongin.”
When they’re done with math, they switch to history. Jongin has a stack of flashcards prepared, and Sehun helps quiz him with those. After a good hour of productivity, Sehun deems it’s time for a quick break.
Jongin decides he wants to take a power nap, even though they’re going to be in bed pretty soon, anyway. But Sehun moves over to the couch in the room, so Jongin can use his lap as a pillow. Jongin doesn’t even have to ask anymore - it’s been years of knowing how to accommodate each other to feel comfortable and safe.
After fifteen minutes, Sehun nudges Jongin awake, and they sit back at the table to power through the last forty-five minutes of study time.
Later, when they’re back in their room after brushing their teeth and changing into their pajamas, Sehun finds himself staring at the ceiling, still riding on the excitement of the earlier announcement.
“Jongin? You still awake?” Sehun whispers semi-loudly. He hears Jongin’s sheets shuffle as he turns to his side, facing Sehun.
“I am now.”
“I can’t sleep.”
Jongin sighs audibly, but predictably, he moves closer to the wall, and pats the extra space he’s made for Sehun next to him. “Get over here.”
Sehun smiles and moves over to Jongin’s bed, taking a minute to get comfortable and pull Jongin’s sheets up to his chin.
Their half of the room is separated by a sheet at night (they push it aside in the mornings and tie it with a cloth) which gives them some semblance of privacy, but Sehun still has to be quiet so he won’t accidentally wake up their roommates. They’re pretty deep sleepers, though. Also, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and the rest of their friends really don’t care about how close Jongin and Sehun are. Back when Sehun didn’t know them too well, he was paranoid that they’d make some side comments about how much time Sehun and Jongin chose to spend together, and how “unnaturally close” they were - the types of things Sehun caught other boys whispering when they first enrolled in boarding school. No one ever says it now, either because they got used to them, or they just stopped giving a crap.
Sehun turns to Jongin when he’s settled in, but sees that he’s already in La La Land, lightly snoring. He has no problem getting back to sleep, Sehun will give him that. Still, Sehun whispers him goodnight.
That night, Sehun has an incredibly immersive dream of one of his favorite memories:
He and Jongin are kids, around eight or nine, playing in Jongin’s backyard, where Jongin’s dad had built them a treehouse that they used as their home base - the center of whatever game they were going to play. This time it’s one of their favorites - a magical kingdom roleplay - in which Sehun is the Fairy Prince born with a magical Wind Power, and Jongin is his trusted Knight who embarks on all the missions Prince Sehun sends him on, as well as any others for which his duty as a Knight is assumed. It was a game they were quite serious about, and even had suitable outfits and props to match their personas: Sehun is wearing a flower crown, which he made himself out of the flowers Jongin had picked out for him, and Jongin carries a blunt wooden sword that Jongin’s dad had made and child-proofed.
Sehun is captured by the evil Red King, who takes him from his kingdom to lock him up in the Cave of the Abyss (which was just the old, dilapidated shed in Jongin’s backyard that they weren’t supposed to be playing in). Sehun is sitting down on the dirty, cold floor full of dust and cobwebs, holding his knees to his chest as he waits for his Knight to come rescue him. It's taking fairly long, actually, and Sehun drifts in and out of sleep. Jongin must be risking his life fighting some epic battles out there. Sehun would normally save himself, but this time he had used up all his Wind Energy trying to fight off the Red King.
When he comes to, it’s to the sound of the shed door creaking open, and the brilliant light of the now setting sun vanquishing all of the darkness that was surrounding him. Temporarily blinded by the light, Sehun looks up to see the silhouette of Jongin sheathing his sword. Then his eyes refocus to take in Jongin’s serious expression before he bows his head, kneeling before him.
“Here I am, my Prince.”
When Sehun awakes, it’s with a smile on his face. It was a pleasant dream - so realistic in its memory that he really felt like he was a kid again. He can't remember the last time he slept this soundly, and the reason why is no mystery - his sleep is always the best with Jongin by his side. They had regular sleepovers growing up as kids, when their parents used to pack a sleeping bag or prepare an air mattress for whoever was going to sleep over, but then stopped after they realized the boys would end up in the same bed sometime during the night, anyway. It was mostly resigned acceptance.
Jongin stopped doing it as often when they got older, and Sehun didn’t think to ask why - he assumed it was because they were getting too big for their beds, which was true. Back home, they only had twin beds, and it simply wasn’t comfortable to be all squished up together like that anymore. Or that’s what Sehun liked to tell himself. And boarding school is complicated, because they have roommates. As much as their friends tolerate their physical need to be close, Sehun doesn’t want to test their boundaries if he can avoid it.
So it’s comforting for Sehun to know that Jongin is fine with sharing a bed even now, despite the perceived weirdness of it all. Sehun can’t explain it, but hearing Jongin’s quiet breathing next to him lulls him into a state of comfort that’s hard to reproduce. He’s certainly tried - with different kinds of white noise, and ASMR videos, but nothing is quite the same. It has to be the full body experience, Sehun supposes - of hearing, and feeling Jongin next to him, knowing that they’re safe together, protected from the world in a quiet place where they can be themselves.
Though Sehun hasn’t shared a bed with Jongin in a while, he doesn’t dare bring it up with him the rest of the day. Bringing it up would be calling attention to it, and that would make it weird, when it isn’t. Jongin doesn’t talk about it either, so Sehun feels like this is a good thing. That it’s just another one of those things they don’t verbally acknowledge even when they know they both think it and feel it - a sort of psychic telepathy that only best friends since the womb have. And technically twins, by that definition - though they’re biologically-related, genetically identical, and actually shared the same womb, so that’s different. The Sehun-and-Jongin bond is irreproducable, and Sehun will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise.
~*~
Sehun and Jongin spend most of their weekend volunteering at the soup kitchen, and they’re exhausted after they get back, having stood on their feet all day. Exordium requires them to complete at least 250 volunteer hours before graduation, which they already finished as of last year. But it’s fulfilling work, and they enjoy continuing to do their volunteer rotations every week. It’s also helped give them better insight on what they want to do when they grow up, like after college and all.
Jongin loves volunteering at the animal shelter, and he thinks he’d want to pursue veterinary medicine. Sehun loves that idea - it suits Jongin well, both his need for a highly-technical field, and his strive to help animals in need: pets, and their human companions alike.
Sehun found he loves working with children a lot. Maybe it’s not much, but he believes that simply by listening to children he is helping to give them a voice. In turn, they help Sehun appreciate the beauty of life, through the unique perspective so characteristic of childhood. Sehun knows he’s not that far off from being a kid, himself, but he has this irrational fear that he’s already lost a lot of the imagination and wonder he had when he was younger. He hopes he doesn’t ever become one of those adults who get caught up in the soul-draining obsession with fame and monetary success. Jongin always assures him that that’s the last thing Sehun will ever be.
Sehun spends Sunday shooting hoops with Jongin and Chanyeol on the outdoor basketball court, until Chanyeol gets bored and says he’s going to meet up with Kyungsoo in the music room.
So Sehun and Jongin retreat back to their dorms after taking a shower, looking forward to having the room to themselves for a few hours. They both do their own thing for a while on their laptops, until Jongin looks over at Sehun and catches him staring out the window.
“What are you thinking about?”
“About Friday.”
“The social?”
“Yeah. I’m kind of nervous. Excited, but nervous.”
“Why are you nervous?” Jongin asks. “Girls aren’t scary. Just act like yourself, you’ll be fine.”
“Easy for you to say.” Sehun shakes his head. “You won’t have to do anything and the girls will be all over you.”
“You’re exaggerating.” Jongin scoffs. “I’ll at least have to breathe.” Sehun cracks up, and Jongin laughs with him. “But seriously - you think too much of me sometimes.”
“I do not,” Sehun insists. “You’re someone people instantly like - since you’re just so - handsome and cool, you know?” Sehun wants to retract that statement, feeling like that was stupid. It sounded better in his head. “And you have this warm aura that makes people want to know more about you, and want to be around you.” Sehun sighs. “It’s harder for me.”
“That’s not true. And if anyone doesn’t like you at first, that actually tells me a lot more about them,” Jongin says with conviction. “Anyway, don’t be so worried about making a good first impression, Sehun. There will always be people who won’t like you, no matter what you say or do. Instead of caring what they think, just be yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Focus your energy on the people close to you who really matter.”
“Like you?” Sehun jokes.
“Exactly.” Jongin laughs. “Wait, so you think I’m handsome?”
Sehun punches him on the shoulder. “Shut up, you know what I mean.” Jongin smiles like he does. “So what do you think about Chanyeol’s plan?”
“To try to get a girl to kiss him? It’s…” Jongin trails off, thinking of the right word. “Ambitious.”
“I like that he’s so carefree about it,” Sehun admits. “Personally, I wouldn’t want my first kiss to be like that. If I kissed a girl right now, it would probably be terrible,” he says, cringing just thinking about it.
Jongin raises his eyebrow, in a way Sehun finds more attractive than he should. “Terrible for you, or for her?”
“For her, obviously. I have like, zero experience. You know that.”
“Everyone has to start somewhere, though,” Jongin says thoughtfully. “I don’t think it would be a big deal if it sucked.”
“Are you kidding? That would be embarrassing on so many levels.”
“If it bothers you so much, then why don’t you get some practice first?”
“Practice?” Sehun says incredulously. “Practice with who?”
“I don’t know.” Jongin shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “Maybe with me?” he mumbles, barely intelligible enough for Sehun to catch it.
Did Jongin... really just...? Sehun can’t tell if he’s joking or not, and he’s quickly losing the opportunity to reply in a timely manner. But all that comes out instead is: “Um.” Wow, great job, Sehun, he thinks to himself.
“Sorry, I was-” Jongin starts to say.
“Do- do you really mean that?” Sehun interrupts before Jongin can finish that thought.
“Uh. Yeah.” Jongin coughs awkwardly. “Sorry if that’s weird.” He looks into Sehun’s eyes. “But I don’t think it’d be weird,” he continues, “if it’s you and me, you know?”
So that’s how Sehun finds himself sitting on his bed next to Jongin - their sheet hanging up as cover in case someone walks in unexpectedly - squeezing his eyes shut as Jongin’s face inches closer to his. He’s so nervous and he doesn’t know where to put his hands. They end up gripping the fabric of Jongin’s Nike shirt like his life depends on it.
Sehun can feel Jongin’s breath on his lips when he stops to ask, “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Yeah,” Sehun breathes out. Somehow he feels sure this is going to be okay, even if he’s not entirely sure what’s happening right now - how their conversation even came to this, but it has to do with Jongin always wanting to help Sehun feel more comfortable with being himself. Distantly, Sehun reminds himself that this is supposed to be practice. This is practice, Sehun. He has to repeat it like a mantra.
And then Jongin closes the rest of the distance between them.
Right as Sehun registers the unexpectedly soft feeling of Jongin’s lips pressing his, Jongin pulls back, searching Sehun’s eyes for a reaction. “So?”
“So,” Sehun repeats. “That was my first kiss.” His giddy laugh comes out more high-pitched than he intended - which he would be more embarrassed about, if there wasn’t a simultaneous barrage of other emotions to feel right now.
“It was more of a peck,” Jongin says. “But yeah. Mine too, obviously.”
There’s something ironic about them being each other’s first kiss, Sehun thinks, and he’s sort of itching to joke about it, but maybe now isn’t the time. They both look down at their hands, smiling like idiots until Jongin seems to remember the whole practice deal.
“So did you want to do more than that, or?”
“Um. We could do more, if that’s okay,” Sehun says, feeling shy all of a sudden. He’s not exactly planning on French-kissing a girl he’ll be meeting for the first time, but he supposes it wouldn’t hurt to get that practice in. It would come to good use, eventually.
Theoretically.
“Okay,” Jongin says, and he scoots closer to Sehun, steadying himself with one hand on Sehun’s left hip and tilting his head to the right as he presses a more confident, but still chaste kiss against Sehun’s lips.
Sehun opens his mouth to breathe - an involuntary action his body kind of forgets how to do all of a sudden, and Jongin uses the opportunity to sneak in his tongue. Ok, wow. Sehun makes an audible noise - something between a gasp and a moan, because now he gets the whole obsession with kissing. It’s a little weird at first, how foreign but overwhelmingly intimate it is, but once he gets over that part, it feels… good. Addicting, even.
They spend the rest of the afternoon practicing, but by the time Kyungsoo and Chanyeol get back, Sehun and Jongin are sitting innocently on their separate beds, playing around on their laptops.
“Hey guys, what have you been up to?” Chanyeol asks, flopping down onto his bed with his limbs spread open like a giant starfish.
Sehun freezes. There’s no way they’d know, right? Are he and Jongin that obvious? Oh god. Help.
“We’ve been doing some practice problems. Sehun needed extra help,” Jongin comes in with the save, and he sneaks a glance at Sehun, who catches the barest hint of a smirk on Jongin’s face, but it’s gone before anyone else notices. Sehun is ready to kill him.
“Damn, studying on the weekend? You guys are such nerds.” Chanyeol laughs.
“You need to take a page out of their book,” Kyungsoo pipes in from where he’s busy cleaning their side of the room, bending over to pick up some empty bags of chips and throwing them in the trash. Kyungsoo’s side is immaculate, but Chanyeol’s is another story, and Kyungsoo won’t be able to relax until he’s cleaned up what's remaining of Chanyeol’s mess. “You’d benefit a lot from weekend studying.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Chanyeol demands.
“I said what I said,” Kyungsoo says, then turns his hand vacuum on just as Chanyeol formulates a reply. He continues to vacuum for a while, then turns it off. “What did you say? Didn’t catch that.” Chanyeol tries to say something again, and Kyungsoo conveniently turns the vacuum back on.
While his roommates are bickering, Sehun lays back down on his bed with a heavy sigh - they just narrowly evaded that one. Thankfully Jongin isn’t acting weird about the whole thing, either - other than lowkey making fun of him, but that’s normal Jongin behavior.
Leave it to best friends to keep it cool even after kissing. Could anyone else ever?
~*~
The school week passes by alarmingly quickly, and before Sehun knows it, it’s already Friday. The day he’s been waiting for. The day they’ve all been waiting for.
Sehun hasn’t practiced with Jongin since Sunday, having decided that that extended lip-locking session resulted in enough experience for today. Quite frankly, Sehun feels like he’s overprepared. He tries to imagine how kissing a girl will differ from kissing Jongin, and all he can come up with is they might taste like bubblegum or whatever lipgloss they could be wearing. It’s an intriguing thought. But Jongin has plump lips that feel nice, and Sehun sort of likes how Jongin tastes, even without any fancy flavored lipgloss. Does Jongin think the same about him, too?
He and Jongin haven’t spoken about it, either, and Sehun can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing. Like, they’re not even joking about it. Other than this possibly selective amnesia, Jongin has been acting business as usual, so Sehun went and followed his lead.
Anyway, right now Sehun has more pressing matters, like fixing his annoying fringe… he only has a few minutes before they have to board the bus.
Most of them guessed the social would be a formal dinner event, but the schools surprised them by actually renting out a more casual venue - the new bowling alley in the city. Also, unlimited pizza, soda, and other snacks would be served, which was awesome. The boys aren’t really allowed to eat junk food at Exordium - they’re encouraged to eat more balanced, wholesome meals, and that healthy stuff is all that’s served in the dining halls. The food is actually quite good, but like any teenager, Sehun can’t help but crave junk food anyway. If life is all about balance, that includes junk food, right?
The Rose Haven girls are already there when they arrive, which catches them all off-guard, and suddenly they don’t know how to act. A few teachers came to act as chaperones, and not surprisingly, they force all the students to do an awkward icebreaker: state your name, your favorite subject, and a “fun fact” about yourself. Sehun hates these things. He’s sweating bullets by the time it’s his turn, but Jongin is sitting next to him and urges him on with a nod of his head. It doesn’t go as badly as Sehun thinks, mostly because it’s over in five seconds, and now everyone’s attention is on Jongin.
After the icebreaker, they’re split up into teams based on the number they’re assigned, and Sehun laments that he’s in a different group from Jongin. The girls in his group are all pretty and seem nice when Sehun introduces himself again, but he feels too shy to interact past that. Continuing a line of conversation can be really hard. It’s frustrating when he can’t quickly think of something witty to say like the other guys seem to do, so his silence comes off as him being disinterested, especially for people who don’t know him. He stands in the background as the other guys in his group start a different conversation Sehun can’t follow, and he realizes he misses Jongin again, who always makes sure Sehun feels included.
Sehun cranes his neck to see what group Jongin is in - he’s over on the other side of the alley, but Sehun has a clear view of him talking to his team. He must’ve said something funny, because now they’re all smiling and laughing with him. One of the girls - a petite girl with cute, feminine features and long, brown hair - seems to have taken a liking to Jongin, by the way she’s been staring at him. Yes, Sehun can tell from here. He called it! Jongin would be popular with girls - he's a natural "teen heartthrob" type, but don't tell Jongin he ever called him that. While hoping that Jongin is enjoying himself and all the new girls he's meeting, Sehun can't help but wish they were on the same team; they could be having fun together right now, and Sehun wouldn't be missing any important details that he'll inevitably have to grill his best friend on later.
After all the different teams settle down, get their equipment, and finally start bowling, Sehun finds himself relaxing into a comfort zone. There’s a mini bowling alley at Exordium’s sports center where Sehun likes to practice in his free time, so he’s pretty confident about his bowling skills. Everyone on his team is quite impressed.
Before long, he’s befriended two of the girls in his group- Joy, a stunningly charming girl with one of the warmest smiles Sehun has ever seen, and Sejeong, who has the cutest eye-smile and the best sense of humor ever. They’re super friendly, and Sehun blushes every time they hype him up when he gets a strike. Even though they’ve just met, he’s having a lot of fun with them, and he’d sincerely love it if they could all hang out again.
Chanyeol’s team scores first place by a landslide, but Sehun’s team is excited that they finished in second. Jongin’s team scored so low on the list displayed on the screen that Sehun has to laugh - Jongin will surely be complaining about it to him later. Sehun does a victory dance with his team in celebration, and he realizes his cheeks ache from smiling so much today.
Pizza and refreshments are served to everyone in the eating area by the snack bar. Five slices of greasy, cheesy pizza later, Sehun is stuffed, and he sinks back into his chair while lightly patting his belly. He figures this is a good time to go check on Jongin, now that the games are over and all the teams are socializing with each other. Also, he has to pee. Sehun tells his new friends he’ll be back in a few, and he gets up and heads over to where he saw Jongin sitting earlier. When he doesn’t see Jongin there, he shrugs and makes a detour for the bathroom instead.
Following the bathroom signs leads Sehun to a hallway by the stairs and the vending machines, and he stops when he sees what looks like the back of Jongin’s head. He’s about to call out Jongin’s name, but then he realizes he is talking to someone - it’s that cute girl Sehun saw earlier.
Sehun hides behind one of the vending machines to see what’s going on - his curiosity gets the best of him, okay, but they’re too far for Sehun to hear whatever they’re talking about. They don’t seem to have noticed Sehun’s presence - the conversation must be serious! That, or the music that the bowling alley has been blasting is pretty loud.
Sehun peeps from behind the vending machine again, and oh, she is definitely flirting with Jongin. Hard. Not that Sehun is an expert on girls or anything - he knows nothing when it’s about himself - but it seems way obvious when he observes it as a third person. Like, she keeps touching his elbow when they talk, and playing with her hair. That has to mean she’s interested, right?
Time seems to slow as Sehun watches the girl get progressively closer to Jongin, like into his personal space, wow that’s really close, actually - then - she kisses him.
With his heart pounding, Sehun curtails it out of there, quickly walking backwards and turning the corner before they spot Sehun and he accidentally ruins the moment for them.
Forgetting all about the bathroom, Sehun returns to his seat, where Sejeong helps fill in what their table has been talking about while Sehun was away. He appreciates the gesture, really, but after what he just saw, he can’t seem to focus on their conversation no matter how hard he tries.
Though Jongin didn’t officially agree to it, he just won Chanyeol’s bet.
This is a good thing, right?
Sehun tries to be excited for him, but for some reason there’s hot tears prickling at his eyes, and he has to blink them away before anyone at his table notices.
“Sehun, are you okay?” Joy asks softly, touching his shoulder.
He tries to say he is, but he shakes his head instead, and both Joy and Sejeong quietly get up and help Sehun outside. The rest of their table was busy joking around, and they didn’t seem to have noticed anything was wrong with Sehun. Joy made some excuse about them getting more food, so no one questioned when they got up and left.
They’re sitting on the curb to the right of the building, with Joy and Sejeong sitting on either side of him. Now that he’s outside breathing some fresh air, Sehun feels a bit better, but there’s still that weird feeling he can’t explain.
“I know we just met and all, but we’re here, if you want to talk,” Joy says carefully.
“But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Sejeong assures him. “We could just sit out here with you. The weather is nice!” She jokes, trying to lighten the mood.
Sehun nods. He does want to talk, actually. It helps that they don’t really know him, and they don’t know Jongin. He doesn’t have anyone else he’d feel comfortable talking about this with - not when the one person to which he tells everything is involved. And he doesn’t feel like he can tell any of his other friends at school, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo included, simply because they know them both so well.
Maybe one day he’ll be able to talk about things this personal with them, but first, he wants to figure this out in his own way, and an unbiased perspective could help. Plus, he likes Joy and Sejeong - he means it when he says he wants them all to be good friends long after this social their schools choreographed.
“We want that, too!” They exclaim, hugging him on each side.
Sehun doesn’t know where to begin - there’s too much history with Jongin to be simplified in just a few minutes of conversation, but he tells them a truncated version of how long they’ve known each other, how they’re grown so close in a way that no one else could possibly begin to understand. How everything was going fine, until Sehun had to ruin it by feeling attracted to Jongin, and now he's noticing all the things he didn't before, like how much he loves Jongin's smile, and how being physically close to him makes him feel safe and whole. Things would be simpler if he never started to feel this way. Then of course he had to go and make it even worse by agreeing to practice kissing with Jongin a few days ago, who only suggested it in the first place because he felt bad for Sehun! Sehun is mortified having to explain this part, as it revealed to the girls that he had prepared for the infinitesimally small possibility that he could get kissed today. But that was way before he actually met Sejeong and Joy, and while he likes them both and finds them pretty and funny and nice, he only sees them as friends, no offense.
And now that Sehun caught Jongin kissing someone else - instead of being happy and supportive, Sehun feels like crap? What kind of best friend is he? It might be selfish, but he can’t help how he feels, and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do about it. How can he face Jongin later without making things weird between them?
There’s a short silence while the two girls digest what Sehun has confessed, and he lets out a long, relieved sigh, feeling lighter now that he’s released everything that he’s been holding onto all by himself. He’s not sure how they’ll respond, but it definitely isn't what Joy says next.
“Sehun, forgive me for saying this-” Joy starts. “But you’re an idiot.” Sehun must look shell-shocked and then angry, because she shushes him to indicate she has more to say and Sehun needs to shut up and listen first. “Jongin is in love with you, you dummy.”
Sejeong nods in agreement. “Seriously, Sehun. I know we haven’t met him and we don’t know what you two are like together, but from what you’ve just said - especially how you guys practiced kissing each other a few days ago, and Jongin was the one who suggested it? Wow, he couldn’t be any more obvious.”
Joy laughs. “For real. Sehun - best friends don’t go around making out with each other like that, just to be nice. At the very least, I’d say he likes you, too.”
“Thanks for calling me an idiot,” Sehun says with a huff, though he carefully considers what they’ve just said. “But maybe you two are right. I never thought about it that way - I mean, I never even considered that Jongin could like me back.” Sehun pulls his knees up to his chest, and rests his elbows on them, gazing out over the parking lot where the sun is just beginning to set. “I guess…I guess a part of me is afraid of what would happen if he did.”
“We’re no experts here, and yeah, there could be other reasons for what he did. But one thing is for sure - you won’t know unless you ask him,” Joy advises.
“What’s the worst that could happen? That he says no?” Sejeong points out. “I think you’ve both known each other and cared about each other for too long to throw away your friendship over this.”
“If he really values your friendship, he’d understand, and whatever his response is, I’m sure you’d find a way to get through it.”
“Yeah,” Sejeong agrees. “Like even if he says no, he doesn’t like you like that, which I highly doubt but anyway - if he does say that, I would hope he’d be the kind of the person who would still want to be your friend. You’d have to find a way to get over him, and that will be tough, but there’s a whole world out there.”
Sehun tries to imagine it - a world where he falls for someone else, and that person would eventually become closer to him than Jongin.
It hurts.
“But, there’s also that possibility that he says yes,” Joy says with a smile. “And isn’t that worth the risk of telling him?”
~*~
Joy and Sejeong’s words are still swirling around in Sehun’s head on the bus ride back to Exordium. They’d exchanged phone numbers, and Sehun promised to update them on his progress, though they assured him he could text them anytime about anything in their group chat, because they are friends now. It makes him feel happy.
He hasn’t spoken one-on-one with Jongin yet, though they greeted each other when everyone met up back at the parking lot for roll call and boarded the bus. Jongin is sitting with Kyungsoo right now in the seat across from Sehun and Chanyeol, while Chanyeol is going on about how he didn’t get a kiss this time but there’s always a next time. Sehun keeps glancing over at Jongin to see if he’ll say anything, but he doesn’t, and Sehun doesn’t understand why - he’d normally love to one-up Chanyeol just to mess with him. Or maybe he’s waiting to tell Sehun when they get back to their room; it is a pretty big milestone, and Jongin is a private person. He might not want to talk about it in front of everyone just yet.
He feels scared thinking about that conversation, because then Sehun will have to say how he feels, even if that ruins the friendship they’ve taken years to carefully build.
If Sehun hadn’t met his new friends today, he might’ve chosen to keep his secret to himself for as long as he could handle it, in favor of protecting their friendship. But he knows deep down that they’re right. Jongin trusts him, and at the very least he deserves the truth. Whatever happens after that, Sehun needs to be strong enough to deal with it. He can only hope that, like Sehun, Jongin cherishes their friendship more than anything else.
It’s not until two days later that Sehun gets the opportunity to talk to Jongin alone. They’re busy most of Saturday volunteering at different locations - Sehun had his shift at the library this weekend, and Jongin was at the no-kill animal shelter. When they got back, Chanyeol had organized a Super Smash Bros tournament that spanned five hours, so they hung out with everyone as a group until it was time for bed.
Now it’s Sunday, and Sehun makes plans with Jongin to grab lunch at the cafeteria and eat outside after he finishes his shower.
This is the first time they’ve been truly alone together since Friday, and Sehun feels nervous in a way he hasn’t ever been before with Jongin. Jongin has been initiating all the light conversation they’ve had so far, and every time he speaks, Sehun can’t help but look at his mouth, and then he’s reminded again that he knows what Jongin’s lips feel like against his.
It was fine last week, but that was before he saw Jongin kiss someone else, and that was the hard slap of reality he needed, alright? It forced Sehun to finally admit to himself that he wants Jongin to kiss him, like really kiss him, and not just for practice anymore.
They choose their favorite spot under the big oak tree, and as Sehun gets settled down and begins to unwrap his lunch, Jongin nudges his right shoulder.
“So, we didn’t get to talk about Friday yet, huh?” Jongin says casually.
“Uh. Yeah.” Sehun is caught slightly off guard - he didn’t expect Jongin to bring it up first. “That was fun.” It's a broad enough opening statement.
“I saw you met some girls. You looked like you were having a lot of fun.”
“Oh, yeah - Joy and Sejeong? They were really nice.” Sehun nods, then laughs. “I didn’t kiss either of them, though, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“No, but you got their numbers, right? Pretty smooth, Sehun.”
“What? How did you know?” He doesn’t remember telling Jongin, or anyone else that.
“I saw you exchanging phone numbers before we had to leave,” Jongin explains.
Huh. Sehun didn’t think Jongin was watching him at all - he seemed to be in the middle of a conversation every time he had glanced over at him.
“Yeah, well we got to talk about a lot of topics, and found we really clicked. We have plans to hang out again when we’re not busy with school and stuff. You should come, too! I talked about you,” Sehun admits, blushing a little. “They want to meet you, too.”
“A double date? I’m not interested, Sehun,” Jongin says rather harshly, and Sehun doesn’t know why his tone is like that. Like he’s offended Sehun even asked.
“Why, because you have a girlfriend now?” Sehun blurts out. Ugh, what - he hadn’t meant to say that - he was supposed to clarify it wasn’t going to be a double date. They just wanted to be friends, and Jongin took it the wrong way.
“Girlfriend?” Jongin looks at him like he’s crazy. “Where did you get that idea?”
This must be the opportunity Sehun was waiting for - to bring up what he’s really wanting to talk about with Jongin. “I saw you kissed a girl at the bowling alley, in the back by the vending machines? I didn’t follow you there, I was going to use the bathroom, then I just saw you with her, and…” Sehun trails off. “Yeah. I kept waiting for you to bring it up, but you never did.” He sighs. “Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“Dude, she kissed me,” Jongin corrects. “Her name’s Jennie - she was being extra friendly to me from the moment I met her, and she kept sticking by me the entire time, but I didn’t think anything of it. Then she asked to talk to me privately while everyone was eating, and I followed her back there. We were just talking about other stuff, then somehow it led to her telling me she liked me. And then she kissed me!” Jongin exclaims. “I wasn’t expecting that, like we just met. I told her she was a nice girl and all, but I wasn’t interested.”
“Oh.” Woah, so that’s what happened? Sehun is surprised, but then again, he isn’t. He swore at least one girl there was bound to be head over heels after meeting Jongin - he’s just so damn likeable! Anyone who talks to him for two seconds knows that. He’s handsome, super smart, tall, mature but has a cute side too, humble, respectful, athletic, loves animals, has great fashion sense… Sehun could go on. Jongin single-handedly hits all the points in the boyfriend material checklist - not that he’s been thinking about Jongin as boyfriend material or anything. Sehun is getting way ahead of himself here. “Um, I’m not interested in Joy or Sejeong either, if that wasn’t clear. We really only want to be friends.”
Jongin nods, looking oddly relieved, and Sehun finds it somewhat funny that they had to clarify to each other that they’re not interested in any of the new girls they just met.
“Guess that means our kissing practice went to waste,” Jongin says, and Sehun doesn’t know if he means that in a sarcastic way, or if he’s serious. Either way, Sehun is about to shoot his shot.
“It doesn’t have to,” Sehun mumbles.
Jongin looks up. “What?”
“I said it doesn’t have to go to waste,” Sehun says, louder now. Where this courage came from, he doesn’t know, but it’s now or never, and he’ll regret it if he never takes this chance. “Jongin, I- I think I like you. Like like you. You're my best friend and you already mean more to me than anyone else, but it's different this time. I'm really attracted to you! I don’t know what that means yet, for me and for us, but I know that I liked when we kissed that night. I liked it so much that I haven’t been able to forget it. I know you just did it to help me, but now I realize I don’t want to do it with anyone else.” Sehun looks Jongin in the eye. “I only want to kiss you.” Jongin is staring at him intensely, but Sehun has more to say that Jongin needs to hear in his own words. “I’m sorry if that makes things weird, but I can’t hide this from you - not when you’re my best friend. I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but-” Sehun sniffs, his courage finally cracking at the edges. “I hope you still want to be.”
Jongin grabs Sehun's shoulders and kisses him in lieu of saying anything - but the way Jongin kisses him - with all his intention packed into a soft, meaningful kiss, Sehun feels like Jongin has told him all he needs to know.
When Jongin pulls back, he looks at Sehun’s awed expression and chuckles. “Finally, Sehun.”
“Finally?”
“That whole practice thing I suggested - that was just my bullshit excuse to finally get to kiss you,” Jongin confesses. “That was really cowardly of me, I know, and I’m sorry. I like you, too, Sehun. I’ve liked you since...well I can’t pinpoint the exact moment- it’s just been building up slowly all this time without me realizing, and one day I just knew. I was prepared to keep it to myself, but then all of a sudden you were excited to meet girls at the social, and I was so scared. I was scared that I was going to lose you.”
Jongin gently holds the back of Sehun’s neck, moving closer until his forehead rests on Sehun’s. “But then I told myself it would be okay. I would be okay if I could at least kiss you just one time, even if you had to imagine someone who wasn’t me.” Jongin shakes his head. “But I was stupid to think that. I wasn’t okay, I felt like shit that week because I kept thinking about you with someone else, and then I saw how you met those girls and got close with them so quickly. I was jealous.”
Sehun can’t help but laugh, and Jongin looks annoyed.
“I’m laughing because I felt the exact same way about you! I mean, when I caught you kissing Jennie, I was so heartbroken that Joy and Sejeong immediately noticed, so they took me outside and gave me a pep talk. They helped convince me to talk about my feelings with you.”
“Oh god - so they know?” Jongin asks in disbelief. “Is that why they wanted us to all hang out together? They were playing matchmaker?”
“Yep,” Sehun confirms, laughing. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Jongin grins. “Actually, I’m glad you told them. I don’t think we’d be talking like this now if it weren’t for your new friends.”
“So does that mean you change your mind about the ‘double date’?” Sehun jokes.
“I do. Let's hang out with them after midterms.”
“Yes!” Sehun victoriously pumps his fist in the air. “They’re going to be so excited, you don’t even know.”
“You can text them about it later,” Jongin says, in a new tone that Sehun thinks is very intentionally flirtatious. “After I’m done kissing you.”
Sehun nods, and he feels his whole body get hot from how much he’s looking forward to a thorough make-out session with Jongin back in their dorm - and this time, they won’t be held back by any doubts: they’re best friends forever, kissing with only each other in mind.
(2 Months Later)
“Hold. The. Phone. Let me get this straight - so you and Jongin haven’t been dating this whole time?” Baekhyun asks, completely taken aback by the sudden announcement over their lunch table.
“What do you mean by ‘this whole time’?” Sehun asks warily.
“Since the beginning of time,” Chanyeol chimes in at the same time Baekhyun shouts, “Since we all met, in like sixth grade!”
“Uh, no, dude,” Jongin replies. “We only started dating earlier this month. We talked it over, and finally decided to let you guys know, too.”
“Well, this is awkward, then.” Baekhyun laughs. “Um, congrats, that's super cool you guys?”
Sehun groans. This whole time he’s been stressing over how their friends thought of his friendship borderlining something more relationship with Jongin, they had unanimously come to the same conclusion on their own that he and Jongin must be romantically involved, and had long accepted them for who they were. Additionally, this means they realized Sehun liked Jongin before Sehun did. Sehun isn’t sure how he feels about that. Is he that easy to read? And if that’s so, why didn’t Jongin notice? They really are such idiots. Imagine if he and Jongin figured this out ages ago! But Sehun wants to believe that everything happens in its own time, and although he had never expected the chain of events that occurred, everything feels right. It's impossible to predict the future, but Sehun knows in his heart that his friendship with Jongin is the one constant he can be sure of. He thought that liking Jongin would make things more complicated, but he was wrong - it feels like the natural progression of their friendship, the next, inevitable stage of becoming closer. And now he knows Jongin believes that, too.
“I thought you two were waiting for the right time to tell all of us,” Kyungsoo says, though he’s the only one of their friends who also considered the likely possibility that Sehun and Jongin were too oblivious about each other’s feelings to have reached the confession stage. Knowing them both, Kyungsoo couldn’t really be surprised at the truth. Sehun and Jongin were the type to skip a couple of steps and at the rate they were going, they would agree to marriage without realizing its implications. Good for them that they finally figured it out, though. "Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us now."
Sehun watches Jongin take all this in stride, as he’s mostly amused by how flustered Sehun is acting. Whatever their friends assumed about them doesn’t really matter in the end, as long as he and Sehun are on the same page now.
“Don’t worry, we won’t make things weird with PDA or anything,” Jongin finally says. “But just letting you know,” he turns to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, “once in a while, we’ll be asking for some privacy. Just for an hour or so. I’ll let you know beforehand so we can plan around it.”
“I’m, uh, happy for you guys, but gross!” Chanyeol complains, and Baekhyun cracks up, shoving it in Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s faces how he’s glad he’s not their roommate and doesn’t have to be exiled. Kyungsoo merely nods at Jongin in understanding.
Sehun shakes his head, making a mental note to text Joy and Sejeong about this new development later. (They got to meet Jongin after he and Sehun officially started dating, and Sehun was super excited that they all got along really well, although Jongin had teamed up with Joy a little too quickly for Sehun's liking to crack jokes at Sehun's expense. At least Sejeong seemed to be on his side.)
Is this really his life now? Looking at Jongin, his best friend, and now also his boyfriend - woah, that’s still weird for him to say - smiling knowingly at him while their friends joke around them, Sehun feels the happiest he's ever been. There’s still another year left of boarding school, college entrance applications, and acceptance letters to stress about. But Sehun isn't worried about any of that at the moment, not when he has Jongin by his side, and so many kinds of kisses to look forward to.
Together, they'll be able to make it just fine.