Chapter Text
What does a person do when a weight on their chest that has been there for years is finally lifted?
They celebrate, in their own way. That is what Peridot and Lapis did, although it wasn't so much a celebration, more of an "order three pizzas and watch TubeTube videos until we fall asleep" arrangement. Their typical weekend routine, actually.
Of course the two broke the news to Steven and Amethyst and anyone else it concerned, which was tiring. Having to explain the same story about the same gem over and over again reminded Lapis of the human game of "telephone". She suspected that in this particular game, the phone lines had been cut. Lapis still felt disconnected even now. Her and Peridot had rested on Steven's couch the night before, where sunrise poured through the windows and painted the surroundings with streaks of gold and amber, breaking the pattern of grey that had settled in the night. She didn't feel the warmth of its rays. Peridot was warmer. She was pressed against Lapis' side, her head nestled in the crook of her neck. When she exhaled, her breath fluttered strands of Lapis' hair. To Lapis' senses, it was all that existed.
Were we ever this close before? It feels different.
Her questions swirled together until they became brackish and briny, and she let out a deep sigh.
"...Peridot?"
Peridot shifted her head, causing her visor to poke into the back of Lapis' neck. She winced at the sharp point.
"Are you awake?"
She groaned and grumbled. "I am now," She said as she raised her head stiffly.
Lapis rubbed the back of her neck and tilted her head to look at the ceiling. The wood was still patchy in places, and little flakes of sawdust drifted down occasionally.
"Why did you wake me up?"
"Oh, you were starting to get lines on your face."
"What?" She reached up and rubbed her cheek where line prints had indeed marked her skin. "That's a stupid reason."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"I wanted to talk to you. I was bored."
"I wanted to talk to you too, but you could have waited until the sky was blue."
Lapis flushed. She hoped she wasn't being selfish. She nudged her foot against Peridot's, hoping she couldn't sense how flustered she was.
"Well, let me make it up to you. We could...find somewhere to plant stuff, or go into town."
Peridot tilted her head and looked up at Lapis, the sunlight washing over her expectant face.
"By ourselves?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, because, um...I mean, you wanted to talk to me, so we would talk together, and it would be weird if other people were there, right? Heh heh..."
Peridot felt the heat rising to her temples as she picked at the fabric of her leggings.
"No, yeah, I get it. By ourselves. We've been by ourselves a lot."
"Just like old times."
"Old times..."
Like a gravitational pull, the two were drawn to each other, moon seeking moon until their collision. But all moons have an orbit, and theirs had not yet crossed paths.
"Let's go into town. I want more pizza!" exclaimed Peridot.
Lapis laughed brightly, raising her arms to the ceiling. "Alright! Beach City, we're coming for your food!"
"Wait, shush! We'll wake up Steven."
They quieted down for a few seconds, but it only took a few mischievous glances at each other to set them off again.
The sun blazed in the sky, searing every surface and hissing off the cool spray of the ocean. Peridot had brought her trashcan lid to move around on, but the heat made it was a circle of malice that caused burned feet and flailing arms. Lapis thought it was hilarious, but in the end, she was flitting over the town with Peridot hanging onto her arms. She was such a backseat flier.
"Hey Lazuli, look! It's Larimar and Nephrite! HIYA LARIMAR! ENJOY THE WEATHER DOWN THERE! NYAH HAHAHA!
"Pfft! Peridot, you're so loud."
"WHY AREN'T YOU LOUD!?"
"BECAUSE I'M HOLDING US BOTH LIKE, THIRTY FEET IN THE AIR."
"DON'T WORRY, I'M HARD TO CRACK!"
Lapis guffawed, almost losing her grip on Peridot.
"Yipe! Please don't drop me! I haven't even figured out what purpose koalas serve yet, and I refuse to die before I do."
"I won't drop you. You're holding on too tight for that to happen."
"I am?"
She loosened her grip on Lapis' wrists, stretching fingers she hadn't known were cramped. Her legs swung lazily in the wake of Lapis' wings, which were propelling them to the edge of the town. This was where the humans lived, away from the hustle and bustle of Beach City. Peridot found that she'd rather be somewhere quiet than somewhere crowded with Lapis. It meant she could focus on her presence. The strong smoothness of her arms, the way her eyes seemed to shine, even in the dark.
Wait...these aren't normal thoughts...it's happening again.
That spark she had felt, the fire that dimmed with their distance from each other. Lapis felt it too. In that moment she wanted nothing more than to wrap her in her arms and soar into the atmosphere so they could see everything below them like pieces of a game board.
"Hey, Per-"
"Lapis, yo-"
"You go."
"No, you go!"
"We'll both go."
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Fine. I'll go. Do you want to go into those woods for a bit? I want to talk."
"So do I. Yeah, let's go...over there." She pointed at a small clearing near the distant hills shadowed by tall trees.
Lapis nodded soundlessly and put a burst of energy into her next flap. Within seconds the two gems landed in the middle of the clearing, wading through the tall grass towards the deep shade of an oak. Peridot plunked down onto the ground, folding her legs underneath her as Lapis tentatively sat across from her. She reached over for Peridot's hand, a common gesture, but faltered as she made contact with Peridot. She looked so nervous.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing! You can hold my hand, it's totally fine," She said as she fumbled her fingers against Lapis'.
"Oh good. I, um...I have something I need to tell you."
"Okay."
"I've been having weird thoughts, and feeling weird things, but only when I'm w-with you."
"...You have?"
Again Lapis nodded soundlessly. Peridot's chest puffed up with a held-in breath, her eyes widening.
"I have too...What kind of feelings?"
"It's embarrassing, Peridot. What if you think I'm crazy, or I think the same about you, or-"
"Lapis. What are you feeling right now?"
"I feel anxious, and kind of sweaty, and I really like holding your hand, and being close to you, and I want to be with you all the time, but...I don't know about you. And that scares me."
"I feel scared too. And I like holding your hand too, I think you're...my favorite person ever. I want to always be with you"
Lapis felt the water unbidden well up in her eyes and trace down her cheeks.
I don't deserve this.
But she deserves happiness.
"Then I'll be here for you always. I promise."
Peridot felt like her skin was made of fire and made of ice at the same time. She wanted to say so many things but found her voice tied up in her throat. Confidence had been so easy when all of her world was right at her fingertips, but this was the unknown. This was a cliff's edge, a dive into dark waters, a burying in the ground.
Can I dare to hope?
This all too familiar sense of fear, of no control. She could get through it, she had before, but...
"You wouldn't leave me alone again, would you?"
"No. I'm never running away again. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to be with you."
"You-"
"I love you too, Peridot."
She remembered seeing love on the faces of humans, in the way Steven loved her with the deepest kind of friendship, but this was not that love. It was like a Camp Pining Hearts love, as silly as that sounded, the love that Garnet had, the burning in her heart when she made Peridot happy, made her smile, when Peridot chose to be with her...nothing else mattered but that.
Lapis hesitated. It could go wrong and fall apart so easily. But she wouldn't run away again. Never from her.
"You really want this? You really want me?"
Peridot does want Lapis, more than anything, so she thumbs her tears away, nodding and saying silently:
I'll be here when you need me.
Will you?
"Lapis-" She murmured but was cut off as Lapis cupped her face in her trembling hands and kissed her.
Kissing, this is kissing. It's not what she expected. Peridot thought it would be dry and light, but this is heavy like summer humidity and wet as the rain. She tastes salt turning into sweetness where their lips meet. Oh, and now she's melting. Like a candle in July, burning so fast and hot the air sharpens. Sharper than any other feeling that crowded her stomach before, and it doesn't feel bad at all. An aching she hadn't even known was there passed between them, in the caress of hands, the entwining of arms, the leaning into each other.
And that is the answer. A million yesses wrapped up in a kiss. A promise to stay spoken through the feeling of hands, and mouths, and the stolen breath from invisible lungs.