Chapter Text
Two Years Later…
Roger heaved a sigh as he set the staircase by the stairs and hung up his keys. It had been a long flight from Japan, made worst by jetlag and turbulence, which meant he’d not gotten much sleep over the last twenty-four hours.
“Deaky love? You home?”
He walked through the kitchen and looked out at their garden. There, he spotted him. Just as Ziggy came bounding in with a meow.
She was a black and white kitten that Roger had brought John for Christmas. The owner had been a friend of Freddie’s and couldn’t afford to keep the litter of five. As soon as Roger had seen a picture, he’d been smitten.
“Hello sweetheart, did you miss me?” Roger cooed as he picked her up. She purred loudly as he stroked behind her ear. “I’ll take that as a yes, gorgeous.” He pressed a kiss atop of her head and put her back down. “Back in a minute. Shh, don’t give me away. it’s a surprise.”
He crept outside, watching John in their new summer house. It had been his project whilst Roger was away. The fairy lights cast an eerie glow across his face as he strummed the guitar. It was the first time Roger had seen it up close, though John had sent a picture when he’d been somewhere north of Sweden.
There was a sofa and armchair, a coffee table, a jukebox, and a scratching post. There was a TV fixed to the wall, as well as ledges to display photos of family and friends, and them on their wedding day. It was all very cosy, with the electric heater tucked away in the corner.
They’d soundproofed the attic so that Roger could drum without complaints from neighbours. That was Roger’s place to unwind, and the summer house was somewhere John could have five minutes.
He stood off to the side, butterflies taking flight at seeing John again. He was wearing one of his Hawaiian shirts. Roger wasn’t keen on them, but they looked cute on John. He was also wearing tiny shorts, revealing the sun-kissed tan he’d acquired by sorting the garden. His bare feet were tapping to the beat against the carpet.
Roger felt slightly transfixed. With the sunset as backdrop, the light catching his hair delicately, John somehow looked even more gorgeous than he remembered.
Ziggy strolled up to John, brushing her head against his ankle.
“Well this is rather flash.”
John’s hand slipped, causing a jarring note to ring out. Ziggy jumped, startled by the sudden noise as John looked up with wide eyes. “Roger! What…I didn’t think you were home until the morning.”
“I managed to get an earlier flight. Couldn’t resist rushing back to see my two-favourite people.”
It didn’t matter how much time Roger was away, it still physically pained him to be apart from John. Perhaps because Roger already knew what it felt like to spend so many years without.
John set his guitar aside as Ziggy curled up on the sofa and watched with disinterest. He stood, closing the distance in a couple of strides, and quickly pulled Roger into a hug.
It comforted Roger immediately. He dipped his head to breath in John’s apple shampoo on the sly. The smell always reminded him of home. He’d snuck a bottle in his suitcase to feel that little closer to John.
“God, I missed you so much,” John said softly atop of Roger’s head. “It was only three months, but it seemed so much longer this time.”
“I know. I missed you too, Deacs,” Roger said, his arms tightening around him.
John tilted his head to capture Roger’s lips with his. Roger’s heart sped against his ribcage as they shared a long, sweet kiss. Eventually, they broke apart and Roger gave Ziggy a wink from around John’s shoulder. “Obviously, I missed you too, Zigs.”
Ziggy blinked slowly at him, her eyes twinkling as she stretched her paws further along the sofa.
“Reckon the feeling’s mutual,” John said with an air of fondness. “She’s been a right Madam. It took her ages to settle. She was even off her food, which is unlike her. Most nights, she’s been curling up on your side of the bed, rather than in that cat bed we brought.”
Roger was touched at their cat being so attached, despite only having her a few months. He bent in front of Ziggy to stroke her fur softly. Ziggy’s purrs grew louder, her eyes closing in bliss. “Aww Ziggy, you cute little thing. I’m home now babe. I have no plans to go away for at least another year.”
“Good,” John said, the relief obvious in his voice. “The house has been far too peaceful without you to reign chaos. Minus, the occasional mad half-hour that Ziggy has, of course.”
Roger giggled as he headed back to John. “Sounds like you really did miss me.”
“Even missed your snoring, can you believe?”
“Oy!” Roger gasped in indignation as he wrapped his arms around John’s neck. “I so do not snore.”
“You so do. Luckily for you, I find it strangely endearing, unlike Freddie, who threatens to suffocate Brian with a pillow on a daily basis.”
Roger chuckled again as he stole another peck. “Yep, that sounds like them.”
-o-
Mornings were never the same on tour. Roger hated waking up to find the other side of the bed cold and empty.
Girls would do anything to get backstage. They’d flutter their eyelashes in the hope that the night would end in his hotel room. Roger always turned them down. Even when he was lonely. Even when it had been months. He had no interest in one night stands anymore. Not when he knew that would have been all it took to lose John for good.
He still liked to party, but he knew when to step back before he did something stupid. He’d go back to his room and use himself to get off. Fantasize about the things he wanted to do to John instead…
His bout of abstinence was always worth it. John would wake him with a kiss and climb straight into his lap like he belonged there.
He looked even more stunning bathed in the early morning light. Like a debauched angel from some Renaissance painting. With his long, dark hair tousled from sleep, his wide nose, his thin, red-bitten lips, and his ivory skin broken only by the flush of his cheeks, as he lowered himself onto Roger’s cock. His eyebrows were furrowed with concentration, his pupils almost entirely dilated, and his breathing growing heavier. Roger’s hands would tighten against his hips and beg him to keep going, as John changed the angle, deepening their thrusts.
Four years they’d been together and there was still nothing better. Being so intimately connected was the sweetest taste of heaven. No temptation in the world would be enough to turn Roger’s head. Not when he knew he had John to come home to.
Afterwards, they slumped against their bed and caught their breath. Roger’s feet dangled off the side, his head resting against John’s side and his heartbeat thumping next to his ear. It calmed him. As did having John’s hand in his hair.
Roger smiled as Ziggy pushed the door open with her paw and leapt to join them. She announced her presence with a meow before curling up. Roger responded by stroking her behind her ear.
“I got a text from Dom whilst you were asleep.”
“Oh yeah? She alright?”
“Yeah, I think so. I spoke to her on the phone the other day and we talked about her coming round for dinner again soon,” John smiled, reaching for his mobile from the bedside table.
“That’ll be nice. Any news about the IVF?”
They’d signed up to an agency over a year ago and had been paired with Dominique. She was a perfect match and they got on like a house on fire. It was decided that Roger would donate, at least at first. They’d had two rounds so far, the last being just before Roger had gone on tour.
“See for yourself.”
John passed over his mobile. She’d sent a picture of three pregnancy sticks in a row. The caption read; Congratulations mes amours, you’re going to be parents.
“Oh my god!”
“I know,” John said, sounding equally in awe. “I couldn’t believe it either.”
Hardly surprising considering this was what they’d wanted for so long. Now that it had, it seemed almost too good to be true. Even with the evidence in Roger’s hand.
John caught him wiping his eyes. “Rog? Am I seeing things or are you getting a tad emotional?”
“As if. I’ve just got an eyelash in my eye, that’s all.”
John brushed the hair from his face softly. “It’s a big deal. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about being a little overwhelmed.”
“It just doesn’t seem real.”
“Probably won’t sink in until Dom starts showing.”
“You’re right,” Roger agreed, his gaze still locked on John’s screen. “I bet she’ll really suit being pregnant.”
“Yeah, she will.”
“Just think,” Roger said casually. “We’ve only got to wait seven to eight months, then we’ll finally have our baby.”
It sounded crazy said like that.
John hummed, his smile tightening a little at having such a short amount of time to prepare.
-o-
There was six months left. You could do a lot with that time. Learn a different language. Take a course in public speaking or in First Aid. But prepare oneself for the arrival of a tiny human entirely dependent on them? Impossible.
At least that was how John felt.
He sighed tiredly, turning from his open laptop to reach for his cup. Then he winced as he took a sip. His coffee was cold.
Roger headed in from the garden, humming quietly under his breath.
“Whatcha’ up to, Deacs? Christ, you looking at baby stuff already. We’ve got months, babe,” he laughed as he wrapped his arms around John’s neck. “Having said that, if it were down to me, I’d end up leaving it to the last minute.”
“Exactly,” John scoffed. “Not that I’m any closer to deciding what bits to get first. We need clothes, formula, a pram, changing pad, nappies, a car seat, a baby monitor, and a thermometer at least.”
“Most of those can just be brought from Argos. Or Mothercare. Think that’s where Mum got my crib from.”
“But where do I even start? Do we get a cot bed, a Moses basket or a crib? Do we get all three? Which one is safer? How do we know the baby isn’t going to feel suffocated in a Moses basket? Or god forbid, what if there’s too much space in the cot and the baby gets themselves into a funny position, and stops breathing? Because that’s fairly common, you know? What if we don’t get to it in time—”
“John love, let’s slow down, yeah?” Roger suggested calmly when it was obvious John was not. “A cot bed is probably the safest option. We could put dividers down and get one that’s adjustable so that it’s easier to lift the baby out. Plus, it’ll be in our room for most of the first year, so we’ll be close-by.”
“So you think we should just get a cot?”
“For the main bed, yeah. But we could get a Moses basket too. They’re portable so we can have it downstairs with us whilst we’re watching TV or whatever.”
John nodded. At least that way they could keep an eye on the baby. He turned his head to look at Roger thoughtfully. “How comes you know so much about this?”
“I might have started looking into it when we went to bed last night.”
“Ah! So that’s what you were looking at on your phone.”
Roger hummed softly. “I’m trying to take a leaf out of your book. At least when it comes to the baby. I really want to get things right from the get-go.”
“You will, I know you will,” John said softly. “This is going to be new for both of us though, Rog, so why don’t we make a list of things we need? That way we can go through it together.”
Roger nodded at that. “Sounds like a perfect idea, Deacy.”
-o-
Roger hated hospitals. He’d spent a fair amount of time in them whilst studying and was a frequent visitor as a child. He started bouncing his leg to try to dispel some of his nervous energy.
“Alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just…not much of a fan of hospitals.”
John smiled understandingly as he reached for his hand. “Me neither.”
Roger was overwhelmed with guilt at the reminder that John had much more reason to hate being there than he did. “Fuck, of course you don’t. What with your Dad…and here’s me, feeling sorry for myself.”
“Don’t be daft,” John said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “You’ve got just as much reason.”
The smell of bleach gave Roger flashbacks to regularly coming home to find his Mum frantically cleaning, whilst his father observed from the armchair.
John’s mouth dropped open when Roger admitted as such. “Jesus Rog, that’s so…”
“Fucked up?” Roger suggested weakly. “It gets better. He went around inspecting every single surface when she was done. If it wasn’t up to his standards, he’d make her do it again.”
The very thought made John feel sick. All he could do was hold Roger’s hand tighter. “We can rearrange this if being here is difficult.”
“I’ll be okay,” Roger said softly. “I keep reminding myself why we’re here. For us, Dominique, and the baby.”
John nestled close enough to rest his head against Roger’s shoulder. “Just let me know if it does become too much, yeah?”
Roger smiled, raising John’s hand to kiss the back of it. “Promise, Deacy. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Dominique got there not long after, and they headed in together. She gasped as the nurse squeezed the gel onto her stomach.
“What’s wrong? Does it hurt?” Roger asked anxiously.
“Not at all chéri,” Dominique assured him with a smile. “It’s just a little cold.”
“Ahh okay.”
The nurse glided the machine over her skin, her gaze trained on the screen. It was a mass of black, grey and white at first. The longer Roger stared at it, the easier it was to distinguish the shapes, especially with help from the nurse.
“That’s the baby’s head. That’s the body, and you can just make out his feet too.”
“Wow,” John breathed with something akin to awe.
“That’s amazing,” Roger said softly.
Dominique turned her head to smile at them before she looked back at the screen, looking equally overwhelmed. “It really is. That’s your baby, mon amours.”
Roger was so mesmerised that he jumped a little when John reached for his hand. He caught the smile on John’s face and knew that it all meant just as much to him.
-o-
John looked up from the wok to see Roger swaying his hips on his way to the fridge. “Nice moves.”
“Thanks baby. I might have picked up a few tips from my sexy husband through the years.”
“Sexy huh? What you after?”
“Take that back! I’m always telling you how gorgeous you are. I’m very lucky.”
John smiled as he went back to stirring the noodles. “You sure you’re not after anything?”
“I wouldn’t mind a kiss if there’s one going.”
“Get over here then.”
Roger rushed over to his side. He set down his beer and wrapped his arms around his neck. John gave him a long, urgent kiss which had his toes curling. Roger had a dreamy look on his face as he pulled away. “Gosh, you’re such a good kisser.”
John laughed as he watched Roger pick up his beer. “Flatterer. What’s got you in such a good mood?”
“The sun is shining. Our friends are coming over, and Dom’s due date is creeping ever closer. Life is good, Deacy.”
“I’ll remind you of that when the baby is screaming, and we’re exhausted from lack of sleep.”
“Good! Do it. I bet I’ll still be on cloud nine.”
“Even before five am? You’re usually a grumpy git at that sort of time.”
Roger hummed as he sipped his beer. “Fine, ungodly hours aside, I’ll be singing with the birds and loving life. You mark my words.”
“Christ, you’ll be breaking into Walking on Sunshine next.”
“I thought you knew me better than that. I’m much more of an Livin’ on a Prayer kind of guy.”
“Oh of course, silly me,” John teased. “Even if you are secretly dancing round the kitchen to Abba.”
“I swear to everything that’s holy, if you reveal that to anyone, I’ll be forced to seek revenge. Or get a divorce. Depending on how many people you tell.”
“You mean that’s all it would take? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
Roger glowered as he sat down. “I’m so not appreciated in this household. You watch. I bet when this baby comes, you’ll teach them to gang up on me too.”
John laughed as he continued to stir the noodles. “Aww poor baby. How can I make it up to you?”
“Hmm, I’m sure I’ll think of something, love,” Roger said, a glint in his eyes.
It was still warm when the three of them arrived, so Roger laid the patio table, whilst John dished up. Roger pulled out a chair for Dominique. “Anyone for wine? We brought that elderflower cordial that Freddie suggested you might like, Dom.”
She smiled, resting her hand on his arm for a second. “So sweet of you, mon chéri. That sounds perfect, thank you.”
“I’ll have a glass of that too,” Freddie cut in as he sat down. “Need to keep an eye on the figure.”
Roger rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft, Fred. There’s nothing of you.”
“I’ve been saying that for weeks. Not that he’ll listen,” Brian grumbled as he went to follow Roger back inside.
“Because I know you’re only flattering me! You’d tell me I look beautiful even if I was thirty stone.”
Dominique cooed at that as Brian and Roger ducked through the back door.
“He’s got a point. But in my defence, I’d be right. I always think Freddie looks gorgeous.”
Roger grinned and clapped Brian on the back. “I’d keep reminding him of that if I were you mate. Especially when your baby comes, and Fred’s moaning about having bags around his eyes. How is Mary anyway?”
John and Roger cleared the table, leaving the three to catch the last rays.
“What a glorious day,” Dominique sighed, resting her head against the top of her chair. She was wearing aviators, and she had a hand over the swell of her stomach.
Roger’s prediction was right. Pregnancy did suit her.
“I could get used to this. I need as much sun as I can get before the baby arrives,” Freddie agreed as he lounged back further in his chair.
Brian headed back out and scoffed. “Babe, we’ve still got six months. By which point, it’ll be Christmas.”
“Yes, and by the time next summer comes along, I’ll be weighed down with nappies and teething. I need to get as much vitamin C whilst I can.”
“He’s right, cher. Besides, it’s like my Mum used to say. Mari heureux, vie heureuse. Which when loosely translated means happy hubby, happy life.”
Freddie grinned. “Your mother sounds like a very smart woman, darling.”
Dominique laughed then winced, her hand flying to her belly. John, who was just heading back out, practically flew to her side. “Are you okay? Is it the baby?”
She immediately offered a reassuring smile. “All good chéri. The baby just decided to kick again. Didn’t you petite chérie? Here, look.”
A look of absolute joy spread across John’s face as Dominique guided his hand to rest against the side of her bump. “Little tyke is almost as chaotic as Roger.”
“Oi, Deaky,” Roger pouted as he appeared from the kitchen doorway.
“I say it with all the affection and love in the world, of course.”
“Hmm, so I should think. I reckon this one’s going to be a footballer. Dom was saying that the bubba was even keeping her awake the other night.”
“Sounds like somebody is getting restless if you ask me,” Brian said with a smile.
Dominique hummed in agreement. “I was thinking that. But then my due date isn’t for another three weeks.”
“It could come early though, darling. It’s been known to happen,” Freddie said. “Apparently, I was an eager baby too. Couldn’t get out quick enough. Which is hardly surprising, given that I’ve not been near a vagina since.”
That caused Dominique to laugh, Brian to shake his head fondly and John to roll his eyes.
“Jesus Fred, way too much information!” Roger complained with a wince.
“Oh come on darling, it’s not like it’s breaking news!” Freddie teased.
—