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Her head was throbbing. After almost two hours of attempting to teach five football players the concepts of Intro to Chemistry, Ava felt like no progress had been made. She massaged her temples as she went to explain for the fifteenth time that for stoichiometry to work the units had to cross out, which lead to a discussion on numerators and denominators, which lead to Ava realizing that somehow the men, no, boys in front of her didn’t understand basic fractions and how in the world were they really at a prestigious state school on a full ride.
Ava's frustration was momentarily broken by the buzzing of her phone on the table. She flipped it over to reveal an alert.
Message from: Sara Lance.
Ava’s stomach did a small flip. One that she immediately ignored, trying to get her body back under her control before she opened the text.
I’m making my Dunkin’ run. Any requests?
The thought of a coffee was enough to make her want to moan. Ava was so tired and caffeine might relieve the dull ache behind her eyes.
Please. Large black iced coffee, three sugars
Immediately after, Ava shot off a second message.
I’ll venmo you
Sara simply liked the message with the order, and Ava put her phone back on the table. She had ten minutes left in this tutoring session before her dinner break. Ava focused herself enough to lay out practice problems for the athletes to attempt before their next session on Monday.
Attempt was a term Ava used lightly; she knew they would maybe read two of the problems, throw some chicken scratch down next to one. On Monday, Ava would have to repeat the professor’s lecture. She would try to provide easy techniques to work through enough problems that these guys would keep their GPA up and remain on the football team. Ava would put in way too much effort for these idiots who only were in the same spot as her because they could catch a ball well.
It’s not that Ava hated her job; working as a tutor for the University Athletic Association she got paid more than she should to teach subjects she actually liked. As an Exercise Physiology senior, Ava mostly helped the freshman get through their state mandated science classes, basic chemistry or biology. Every now and again, she would tutor an anatomy student.
And then there was Sara.
Sara Lance. Sophomore star of the Field Hockey team, Exercise Physiology major, and glorified flirt.
A year and a half ago, Ava found herself assigned to private sessions with Sara after she got a D on her first anatomy exam.
Sara swore she didn’t actually need tutoring, that her bad grade was simply the result of her spending the weekend tailgating (what did the professors expect making an exam the Monday following the first home game of the football season? ). Ava quickly figured out that was actually true. That Sara really was smart, brilliant even, when she applied herself. When she actually sat down and did her work instead of spending her time at frat houses and sorority date functions or at field hockey practice or gallivanting with Nate and Ray and Zari at hours way too late in the evening.
The two hours a week Ava was supposed to spend coaching Sara to pass her classes weren’t really necessary, but when the Athletic Association mandates tutoring, there’s little one can do to get out of it. In truth, Ava hadn’t minded getting a semester’s paycheck to look over Sara’s work every once in a while. It was better than the seven other sessions she ran each week trying to get clueless baseball and basketball and every other type of ball players to put in some sort of effort to pass their classes.
When Sara passed her first semester with all As, Ava hadn’t expected to see her back. But that January, Ava was assigned to ninety minutes a week with Sara Lance to tutor her in Neuromuscular Aspects of Exercise. On their first day, Ava had asked why. She knew the shorter blonde didn’t actually need help with the class.
It turned out Sara had insisted on tutoring, crediting Ava with her 4.0. It was a weak excuse, but one that Ava didn’t have the energy to fight, especially when the time came with an hourly wage and good company.
The sessions were mostly Sara doing her work while Ava watched her. She watched the way the athlete wrote always in cursive. The way Sara scrunched her nose when she didn’t understand something. How Sara mumbled the words out loud when she read a sentence and how she tapped her pen against her lips when she was trying to remember a fact.
After enough time, tutoring became less a place to work and more a place to talk. It started with Sara poking fun at her taller companion; she had countless ways to tease Ava and make her blush. Sara would say something just on the verge of inappropriate and Ava’s cheeks would go pink while she fumbled over her words and Sara would just take in the scene of the rambling woman in front of her.
Not that she would ever admit it to anyone, but Sara loved Ava’s smile.
Following the banter, came real conversations. Sara would drop her bravado enough to talk about things most people didn’t know. She would reminisce about growing up with Laurel, talk about their always competition to be the best student and the best daughter, even when Sara was going through her rebellious phase.
Sara told Ava about her dad being a cop and how she was secretly afraid that one day his dedication to the law would get him hurt. Sara let Ava in just enough to see how much she was hurting from not having her sister around anymore.
In return, Ava told Sara about growing up an only child, with parents who were around just enough to be good parents, but not enough to actually make her feel close with them. She’d talk about her roommate Nora, who she loved like they really were sisters, and about her childhood best friend Gary, who Ava still felt needed her protection at all times.
It was almost a friendship, their closeness masquerading as tutor-student relationship because neither of them had found an excuse to see each other outside of this situation. Because if Sara asked Ava to come to one of her matches or if Ava invited Sara out to the market downtown, it would mean admitting that they both wanted something more than what they had. And while neither woman was shy about their sexuality, neither was willing to put themselves out there with someone they might actually care about.
Sara instead chose to let out her feelings in one night stands brought back to her dorm. Zari joked they needed to install a rotating door for all the men and women that came through.
Ava let herself pine in secret, let herself indulge in late night fantasies that made her feel a little dirty.
When Ava began tutoring Sara for a third semester, Sara had requested biweekly sessions. She just needed so much help with Motor Learning and Exercise Psychology that it couldn’t all be covered in one ninety minute session. So now they spent Monday and Thursday nights on the bottom floor of the science library. Sara would bring Ava a coffee, Ava brought in whatever she had baked that week, a secret tradition for just the two of them.
They would open their textbooks to look busy and would talk about anything and everything between pages of notes. Their interactions were filled with playful nudges and arm punches, little kicks of calves under the table and eyelash batting so obvious that anyone observing would think they were already dating.
Except they weren’t, because Sara would never be into her. The star of the country’s number two field hockey team would never want Ava Sharpe, here on full academic scholarship, member of the Women’s Leadership Book Club, and University Athletic Association tutor.
Sara was into frat guys like Oliver Queen. She would walk into a date function for a sorority as one woman’s date and walk out with three different color lipsticks on her neck. She spent her weekends with Zari and Nate and Ray, doing things like sneaking onto the roof of the Physics Building (completely against university policy). And when Sara wasn’t there, she was at a party set up by the softball team or the Honors Society or the marching band, and somehow Sara was always invited and always welcomed.
And while Sara was vaguely aware that being around Ava made her feel warm and a little dizzy, she never let herself get further than that. She never thought about kissing Ava mid-sentence, had never thought about if Ava’s mouth would taste like the coffee she always bought her, and Sara certainly didn’t wonder if Ava would want to be kissing her back.
Instead, Sara kept it light, joking about Ava’s dedication to the rules and how easily she could be flustered. When Ava would go off on a tangent in her stories, Sara would file away little details about her; the way she swooped her hair off to one side when she was embarrassed, looking up at her through heavy eyelashes, the way her eyes sparkled when a joke from Sara actually landed, how strong her shoulders looked (and Sara had seen a lot of good shoulders).
At 6:30, Ava dismissed the chemistry students in front of her. She fiddled on her phone for a few minutes, pulling out the snickerdoodles she baked the night before and breaking into the tupperware. A few minutes later, a coffee slid into view. Ava broke contact with her phone to see a smiling Sara, dressed today in a cropped tank and boyfriend jeans, her hair in a haphazard ponytail that on anyone else would look like a mess, but on her worked perfectly.
Ava lifted the coffee into the air in greeting, taking a huge sip before letting out a sigh.
Sara plopped herself into the chair next to Ava, began pulling random notebooks out of her backpack, then launched into conversation. “So, you’ll never believe what Zari did last night.”
When a story started like that, it was best for Ava to just strap in as Sara talked animatedly. Apparently, Zari hacked the school’s course registration system to change her schedule. Well, not just her own schedule, but a ton of people’s. Mainly though, Zari made it her goal to change her Computer Organization course to a different time so she could be in class with Charlie.
Charlie, who hated computers, but loved music and wanted to know how to edit songs. Charlie who always poked fun at Zari’s dry humor, but also happened to enjoy it maybe a little too much.
“That is so against regulation, you realize that right?” Ava rolled her eyes at the antics; Sara’s group was always getting into stuff like this so she really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.
“Oh, come on!” Sara leaned herself in close to Ava, running a finger up her arm. “It’s romantic. ”
“Must be some crush. You know, there are easier ways for someone to hang out with the person that they like.”
“Like what?” Like insist on tutoring sessions when you’re more than capable of studying on your own.
“Like asking them to hang out?” Ava wasn’t really asking a question, she was more implying that Sara and her band of idiotic (but also wicked smart) friends would never consider doing things the easy way.
Sara pursed her lips and let out a hm, as if she never considered the option. Ava shook her head, before jumping into tutor mode for a few minutes. She recapped to Sara the main points of this week’s sessions to earn her paycheck. Sara wasn’t exactly focusing, at least not on what Ava was saying. She was once again fixated on Ava's lips. It was apparently obvious, because after a few minutes Ava cut herself off to stare at Sara.
“My eyes are up here.”
“Sorry, zoned out there for a second.” Sara mumbled it, not even convincing herself. But Ava figured it was true, Sara definitely wasn’t looking at her lips, not on purpose anyways.
They continued on with their “work”. Several times, one of the two found their minds drifting into daydreams before bouncing back. By the end of the hour, Ava had sucked down her coffee and Sara had cleaned out the cookies. As they packed up their bags to leave, Sara dropped a casual statement.
“There’s a party tonight.”
“Oh?” Why was Sara telling her?
“It’s put on by the student athletes. The track team is hosting I think”
“Cool.”
“Not everyone who goes is an athlete though.” Sara was twirling a strand of her ponytail around her index finger, biting her lower lip.
“Is there a point here, Lance?”
“You should drop by.” It fell out of Sara's mouth before she had a second to think through the implications. They’d never seen each other outside of the library, never talked without the pretenses of studying. “I mean, if you want.” She shrugged after, trying to seem apathetic to the answer. Please say yes.
“It’s a Thursday.” Ava sighed it. Even if it weren’t a Thursday, going to a track party was a little out of Ava's element. Sure, she was the reason half of the team passed Biology 101, but that didn’t mean she’d be welcome there. And Ava didn’t even want to think about the implications of being at a party with Sara. Not with Sara , but still, with Sara in attendance.
“Just think about it. I’ll send you the details.”
More than anything, Ava intended to say no. But when Ava went to respond, she saw the hopeful look in Sara’s eyes, the way it seemed like she was begging Ava to say yes.
“I’ll think about it.” When Ava said it, she meant I’ll think about an excuse to not come, but when Sara’s face lit up at the comment, Ava couldn’t help but consider going for a minute.
“See you later, Sharpe.” Sara was already walking off, a slight skip in her step like she just got her way. Ava considered shouting after her “I said I’d think about it” , but it would be no use. Ava knew she was going to go.
When Ava returned to her apartment, Nora was sitting in the living room, curling iron in hand and a mirror propped on the table. Nora was the queen of casual comfort, usually dressed in a sweatsuit. She wasn't not the type to have all the makeup palettes she owned spread across the coffee table.
“There’s a party tonight,” Nora began, an upbeat tone to her voice.
Ava stopped her short. “Yeah, the track team party.” She shrugged her backpack off and hung it on the back of the kitchen chair before moving to her roommate in the living room. “So why are you doing your hair?”
“I’m going.” Ava raised her eyebrows at this. Nora didn’t go to parties on Thursday nights.
“Ray invited me.” Nora said it quickly, almost too fast for Ava to hear, but she did. Nora had a crush on Ray for months, since he actually ran into her in the quad. He had been walking and talking with Nate, telling a story with so much fervor that it seemed like his hands could fly away, when he walked right into Nora. Ray had stammered out an apology, insisted on walking Nora to the infirmary even though it was really just a little scrape that needed a bandage. He took her out to dinner to make up for it, and, since then, Nora was smitten.
“And there it is.”
“Shut up.” Even though Nora said it through gritted teeth, she was playful. She tossed a hand in Ava’s general direction, one that certainly was meant to slap her upper arm had she been close enough. “Wait, how do you know about a track team party?”
As soon as Nora asked, a smile started to rise on her face, as if she’d figured out some big reveal. Because maybe she had. Ava crossed her arms in defense, but was unable to hide the way her face got three shades darker.
Nora turned off the curling iron and placed it on the table. She crawled over the couch to balance on the cushion immediately next to Ava. “Did Sara invite you?”
Judging by Ava’s reaction, Sara definitely invited her. The corners of her mouth twitched upward before Ava let out an exasperated, “No!”
Nora poked Ava’s shoulder, eyes wide and chest open, proud that she figured out Ava’s secret.
“Oh my Mallus, you’re coming!”
Ava immediately went to protest. She intended to tell Nora she told Sara she’d think about it, that it was just an invite because it would be rude to mention it and not invite her, that they had class in the morning anyway, but Ava never got the chance. Nora was already pulling Ava towards her closet to get her in something party appropriate.
After hair and makeup and some questionable fashion choices, Ava and Nora were eventually ready to go out. Ava was in ripped jeans and a white tank top, a tan leather jacket thrown over it all. She had left her hair down, for once, and even put on eyeshadow.
Ava didn’t know why she was trying so hard, everyone there would be drunk anyway, and even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t pay attention to her. At least, that’s what Ava told herself, trying to ignore the thought that popped into her head about how Sara would pay attention to her.
Ava threw back two shots of whiskey before leaving the house. If she was going to be surrounded by that many people, she was at least going to be buzzed.
Her and Nora ubered to the location, and by the time they got out of the car, Ava’s body felt a little looser, a little warmer. When they were inside, Nora immediately spotted her -- what he was exactly wasn’t determined-- Ray. Ray waved emphatically at the duo, inviting Nora and Ava over to join him, Zari, and Nate.
Ava couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that Sara wasn’t there with her friends. That meant Sara was probably dancing with someone or in some dark bedroom and --.
Ava wasn’t going to go there. Not tonight. Not now.
Nora skirted right up to Ray’s side, him throwing his arm around Nora's shoulder to pull her in for a hug that was a little more than friendly. After exchanging pleasantries, Ava excused herself for a drink.
Ava pushed through the gathering of people in the house. Some were dancing, most were talking, red solo cups in hand. Ava managed to make it to the kitchen and pour herself a glass of whatever was sitting in the bowl on the counter. Some sort of jungle juice that tasted a little too much like cough syrup for Ava to be comfortable with, but that was cut with enough rum she could almost tune it out.
With a cup in hand, Ava meandered to the back porch of the house, looking for some air. She scuffed the toe of her boot into the wood.
Why had she even come? Some offbeat comment that Sara was going to a party tonight wasn’t an invitation to join her, and Ava should have known that. Had she really been so self-absorbed to think Sara wanted her there?
Ava really thought Sara had been sending her signals, with all the “accidental” touches and lip bites and glances from her lips to her eyes and back again. Ava shook her head, slamming back the rest of the cough syrup in her cup to banish the thoughts. She really was an idiot to let this crush get so out of hand she actually tried to convince herself that Sara liked her back.
“Hey stranger.” The voice pulled Ava out of her thoughts. She whipped her head around to see Sara walking closer, beer in hand. “I’m really glad you decided to come.” Her voice was like honey.
Ava let out a sigh. It was great to see Sara, but not that great, because for the ten minutes prior Ava had been beating herself up over liking the shorter woman.
Both leaned over the porch railing, Sara turning her body towards Ava’s. If Ava wasn’t so engrossed in her own thoughts, she would have seen the way Sara looked her up and down. Ava would have seen Sara focus in on Ava’s face. Sara was looking at her like she was trying to memorize every line on Ava's skin.
Sara noticed an eyelash stuck to the tutor’s cheek and was overcome with the urge to remove it. Without thinking, Sara reached her hand out.
Ava jolted her face back on reflex. “What are you doing?” She didn’t mean it to come out so harsh, it just had been a major shock.
“Oh, um,” Sara almost sounded hurt, like she had been rejected. “Sorry, you have an eyelash.”
Sara’s face dropped momentarily when Ava pulled away, but her bravado was back on. Sara took another drink from her beer, trying to pretend that she hadn’t felt a pang in her stomach when Ava moved away from her.
“You can get it.” Ava leaned back closer, fluttering her eyelids closed. Sara plucked the lash from her cheek gently by pressing her fingertip to Ava’s face. She held out the finger, eyelash still on it.
“Make a wish.”
Ava almost rolled her eyes. Of course Sara was the type to wish on eyelashes. But then Ava thought about how Sara had pressed so softly into her face, how it was almost caring to do something so simple, and the fact that Sara was offering her a wish was something she couldn’t refuse.
Ava blew the eyelash away.
“What’d you wish for?” Sara’s voice was low as she asked, the freckled woman toying with the necklace around her neck. She definitely wasn’t hoping that Ava had wished for her.
It was Ava’s turn to turn some of the bravado back on. She felt exposed when Sara touched her face, it was way too intimate for them. Ava attempted to bring the feeling they had when bantering in the library back. “Well, if I tell you, it won’t come true.”
Sara hummed, continuing to down her beer. She was feeling slightly buzzed, the shots she took earlier finally catching up with her. Sara was just drunk enough to let her guard down.
“I can tell you what I would have wished for.” If she had been further away, Sara would have sauntered up to Ava. They were already so close, though, that Sara settled for pressing her body as close as she could to Ava’s. They were toe to toe, Sara just inches away from Ava’s face. She reached her hand out to hook her index finger into Ava’s belt loop.
Ava could barely think over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. Sara was pulling on her belt loop, fiddling close to her waistband. She could feel Sara’s breath with each exhale. It was making it hard for Ava to breathe. “And what’s that?”
“I would have wished for you to kiss me.”
Sara was looking at her lips now, flickering her gaze between them and Ava’s eyes, searching for permission. The silence between them was just a moment too long. Suddenly, Sara was questioning if she had made the wrong move. Had she messed this whole thing up? She was sure that she hadn’t made up the way Ava looked at her. She hadn’t made that up, right?
Just as Sara was about to take a step back, Ava slipped a hand onto the nape of Sara’s neck. She pulled the shorter woman up onto the tips of her toes, parting her lips for Sara to join her. The kiss was everything Sara had hoped it would be. It was gentle, but filled with want. Ava slipped just enough of her tongue out of her lips for Sara to let out a whine that was too low to hear, but that Ava could feel.
Ava was absolutely lost in the feeling of Sara’s lips against hers. She had imagined this too many times, but no fantasy lived up to this reality, to the softness of Sara’s lips and the expert way she moved against Ava.
Sara was first to pull back, only because she was breathless. She stared into Ava’s eyes, a smile coming to her face. “I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time,” Sara whispered, maintaining eye contact.
“Me too.” Ava’s response was a little breathy. She still had her hand on the back of Sara’s neck. She slid it down to Sara’s lower back to tug her closer. “In fact, I wished for it.”