Work Text:
Enough was enough. Lev surely was not the smartest person around but even he could recognize what was going on. It had been clear from the very start, ever since had joined the team. It had grown only worse from there. How could the rest of the team just look on? He didn’t understand.
Initially, he had thought the issue would solve itself. He was wrong. And after today? He could not go on like this. It was for the best. For their team. For Kuroo-san and Kenma-san.
So he did the last thing he could come up with to solve the issue. He asked the internet.
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/kl9sda/help_needed
1h
Help needed!!!
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
Hello, dear internet-ers. My senpais are dating but they don’t know !! What do I do!!! We’ve tried everything and it’s just getting worse!!!
I know I am not the smartest person but even I can see it. My senpais and teammates compiled a list and Y-senpai tried to talk to K-senpai a lot about it, too.
Wait, I just realized I have three K-senpais. Both of the senpais I am talking about are K-senpais. That might make this confusing. Let’s call them Ken-senpai and Ted-senpai. The third one can stay K-senpai. Oh wait, Ken-senpai hates it when I call him “senpai”. Ken-san it is then.
This is what’s happening:
Ken-san (M17) and Ted-senpai (M18) have been friends since forever despite the one-year age difference. Apparently, they met when they were in elementary school or something. They went to the same middle school and now to the same high school. They are my senpais. We are in a volleyball club, Ted-senpai, a third-year, is our captain and Ken-san is our setter.
They are dating but we (the team) are thinking they don’t know. Ken-san is indifferent about volleyball (how??? is that possible??) but he still continues playing because Ted-senpai asked him to. From what I’ve heard, the senpais from before I entered the school were super rude to Ken-san so Ted-senpai adjusted our team’s strategy to center around Ken-san (which works because Ken-san is craaazy smart, and also super scary but you did not hear that from me). They go to and from school together, apparently they hang out every sunday and after practice. Ted-senpai talks about Ken-san like he created the entire universe. And I SWEAR they can read each other’s minds. It’s scary.
They are always together.
Ted-sans girlfriends always break up with him for not spending enough time with them. Bc he spends most of his time with either volleyball or Ken-san (or both). And yet, they don’t seem to realize that maybe they have been dating all along.
What do I do?
- L
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55 comments sorted by Q&A
givemejackdan (1h)
maybe they really are just friends?
mysenpaisneedelp (35 min)
that’s what I thought at first too but you don’t see the way Ted-senpai stares at Ken-san. it’s like he can’t do anything wrong
smuelLjohnsen (20 min)
interesting,,,,, what do you mean, they can read each other’s mind?
mysenpaisneedelp (15 min)
they do this whole staring at each other intensely with no words exchanged thing (ken-san really dislikes looking people in the eye). also, they sometimes finish each other’s sentences. Or, when we are watching a match one of them would suddenly comment on something like he was replying to the other. “You are right, the blockers are shifting” or sth, it’s SUPER confusing !! it’s like their in their own bubble THEY DON’T EVEN NOTICE WE ARE THERE TOO or like, ken-san just silently stares at Ted-senpai and Ted-senpai explains a strategy they did not even mention before?? i just DON’T UNDERSTAND
smuelLjohnsen (10 min)
lfjskfdjsk LAKDJALSKDMA !!!!!! AAAAAH
raisinsboolt (8 min)
IF THIS IS REAL,, THIS IS SOME REAL SOULMATE SHIT
mysenpaisneedelp (7 min)
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN OF COURSE IT’S REAL @ tHAT OTHER PERSOn
Lev skimmed more comments for over an hour during class but it seemed most people were not yet convinced. He pouted. Well, it took him half a year to come to the conclusion that Kenma-san and Kuroo-senpai were dating so there is no way he could fault random strangers in the internet. It was disheartening nonetheless.
Putting his phone aside again, Lev turned his attention to the locker room in front of him again. Except him, almost everyone had already finished changing for practice. Kuroo-senpai and Kenma-san were absorbed in a conversation, hopefully about volleyball strategies but Lev was self-aware enough to know that probably was not the case. The way Kuroo-senpai was crowding in on the setter and the way Kenma-san himself did not seem to mind. It had taken Lev months to understand. Now, it was painfully obvious. Hopefully, someone on the internet had an idea how to fix this. It had been going on for long enough and Lev’s patience was running thin.
With a sigh, he finished changing for practice. He had a long day ahead.
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/oj1ok/why_we_think_they_are_dating
25 min
Why we think they are dating
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
I had some time to think about this and it seems most of you don’t understand why we are so fed up with them dating but not knowing. I guess my explanation in the first post was not enough? Here is some more on why we think they are dating (this is the result of a thorough discussion of all our team members during lunch):
- They walk to school together every day.
- 9/10 they walk close next to each other.
- They are basically always close to each other. or touching.
- Nicknames !! Ted-senpai thinks we don’t know but I’ve hear him calling Ken-san kitten !! and he meant it !! oh, and also Ken-san has this thing where he calls Ted-senpai “kuro”
- Sometimes, when Ken-san is absorbed in playing games (he likes doing that), Ted-senpai guides him with a hand on his lower (!!!) back. (Y-senpai said this says a lot.)
- I think I said before that Ken-san is kinda shy? well, he isn’t when he’s with people he knows. And he’s especially merciless when with Ted-senpai. It would be funny if it wasn’t also a little bit terrifying. Anyway, I think Ted-senpai likes it?
- They stare at each other a lot - eye contact or not. Which is surprising bc as I said in a comment to my last update: Ken-san hates eye contact.
- They go on dates every sunday ?? Ted-senpai has it saved as “*Ken-san’s real name* day” on his phone.
- KEN-SAN’s MOTHER CALLS TED-SENPAI HER SON-IN-LAW.
- Sometimes, Ted-senpai packs lunch for Ken-san. And watches him eat (to make sure Ken-san eats the vegetables he says).
- And if walking to and from school together as well as practice isn’t enough, they often spend time together after school (studying, doing homework, etc.).
- During training camp, we all share a room, right? And, not only do Ken-san and Ted-senpai always put their futon next to each other. BUT ever since the incident when we wake up they are ALWAYS cuddling on one of the futons!!!!
- They talk in the “couple-we” (again, it was Y-senpai who explained what this means. And they DO.)
Okay, these are all the notes I took today during lunch - Ted-senpai and Ken-san came to join us then so we had to cut it short. I hope you guys get the picture now? It’s serious!!!!
- L
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205 comments sorted by Q&A
jojoiwasblind (8 min)
SON-IN-LAW. the mom ships it
mysenpaisneedelp (5 min)
FU-SENPAI SAID SHE ALWAYS DOES THAT. NOT EVEN TEASINGLY. IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER IF TED-SENPAI OR KEN-SAN ARE THERE.
standonme (2 min)
… why does “ken-san” call his boyfriend “black”??
mysenpaisneedelp (1 min)
uhm…… let me just say it makes a lot of sense - also it’s a wordplay? or sth
safememefrommyspace (11 min)
this might sound crazy but have you tried locking them in a closet??
mysenpaisneedelp (5 min)
we did :( there was not a lot of space in the closet so Ken-senpai just sat on Ted-senpai’s lap and played on his phone. They just waited and Y-senpai got fed up at some point. school was closing so we had to let them out :(
safemefrommyspace (2 min)
casual lap sITTING???!
ronaldorina (12 min)
this is the second time op mentioned ken-san being scary,, i’m fascinated
mysenpaisneedhelp (8 min)
HOW CAN SOMEONE THAT SMALL BE THAT SCARY
lifeisalie (10 min)
the incident ,, that sounds ominious
mysenpaisneedhelp (9 min)
it was supposed to change everything …. but it didn’t
mysenpaisneedhelp (1 min)
?????? WHY DID THIS EXPLODE
stayloverays (5 min)
are you sure they are even aware of this -- thing they’re having??
mysenpaisneedhelp (1 min)
let me ask Y-senpai :&
- meanwhile, on a different platform -
Yumi @rainosthanus
omg guys,, i was browsing through reddit bc i was bored ™ and,, reddit boyfriends ;;
[ attached pictures include screenshots of the reddit thread ]
10.2k likes 7.1k retweets 24 May 2020 6:15 PM
Tessa @majidorou
WHERE’S THE LINK
Yumi @rainosthanus
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisne....
Tessa @majidorou
bless your heart!!!!
soro @beatnan
i am enjoying this more than i probably should - how --
Remi @driversfearme
THE MOM THOUGH
gojou @uuhuhija
TJE MIND MELT THINGY i wanna know more about that !!
Tessa @majidorou
oooooofff, guyss, this made my day check it out!! https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisne...
3.9k likes 5.2k retweets 24 May 2020 7:21 PM
Ricorous @rhinocerous
lfksdf is this real????
Tessa @majidorou
I think so??
i need a sugar daddy @kfclovers
look at how earnest op is ;;;
give me food @donarilla
OP really went online and said “I am not the smartest person” bless him to admit to being stupid
serano @schinkenspeck
not everyone has this kind of courage
love meee tobi @tobiosofficialfan
real talk,, this is so. cute.
having brains would be great @realitydreamer
is no one gonna mention how op apparently actually locked them into a closet??
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/7polk/they_are_aware
2h
They are aware
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
I am 100% sure both my senpai’s are aware they are in love with each other. BUT THEY ARE JUST NOT CONFESSING TO EACH OTHER.
I mean, I can’t imagine Ken-san taking the first step in this kind of thing - that’s just not like him. He is kind of shy? (this is weird, I don’t really understand it myself) He is so smart so I am sure he would now about being in love with Ted-senpai. He also sometimes teases Ted-senpai.. And he is so smart and observant and Ted-senpai is so obvious I am sure Ken-san knows about Ted-senpai feelings for him.
And for some reason, Ted-senpai also doesn’t do anything about this?? Instead he just, and I quote Y-senpai, “pine and whine about how much he loves Ken-san all day.”
So. They both now they are in love with each other but they don’t know they are already dating !!!!
edit: Does anyone have ideas to fix this??
- L
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234 comments sorted by Q&A
myromanticromance (2h)
i need to know more about this so called teasing
mysenpaisneedhelp (2h)
?? i don’t even know what Ken-san does but he gets Ted-senpai flustered??
myromanticromance (2h)
….. interesting
mysenpaisneedhelp (2h)
how does this help though????
betteroffwithyou (1h)
at this point i’m just going to believe what op says is true. so they are both self-aware? what’s stopping them?
mysenpaisneedhelp (1h)
Y-senpai says they’re both afraid of ruining something good, which I think is stupid. but then again, Y-senpai often calls me stupid so I don’t know
timepassobama (1h)
wait. this actually makes sense.
mysenpaisneedhelp (1h)
it does???
mrsister (1h)
BEST FRIENDS THAT ARE AFRAID OF CONFESSING TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF RUINING THEIR FRIENDSHIP. god, the fanfics i’ve read about that are more than i can count LOVE THAT TROPE
mysenpaisneedhelp (1h)
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
goodnightlads (20 min)
tbh, at this point? i’m more here for the updates
mysenpaisneedhelp (17 min)
:(
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/dsdd8/what_we_have_tried
3h
What we have tried before
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
You guys have still not given any suggestions about what we could do to make them realize what’s going on. And I’d really appreciate the help!! But I also realized that maybe a list of things we tried before and their reactions might be helpful. So here I go:
-
locking them in a closet
I told the story of how that played out somewhere in the replies in the post before this one, if you’re interested, you can go look for it. What’s important: it didn’t work -
spin the bottle
we made Ted-senpai confess who out of this group he’d date - he said Ken-san of course. -
making them confess who they’d date/kiss/marry
the answers were as expected but apparently that does not mean much for them -
making them share a bed (or “the incident”)
we have regular training camps and we usually share a room then, everyone gets their own futon. well, I “accidentally” spilled soda all over mine (it was a mess) and our captain offered me his futon. Since he ended up without one, obviously, Ted-senpai and Ken-san decided to share. It wasn’t even a big deal for them. They just looked at each other and did this mind-melt-thingy (??) and then Ken-san nodded and the issue was dealt with. they’ve been sharing futons ever since. - dares. so many of them.
- Y-senpai trying to talk sense into Ted-senpai (Y-senpai is usually very good at these things!!!)
What else can we do?
- L
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505 comments sorted by Q&A
replaymebtch (3h)
*screeches* THEY ARE SHARING A BED ?!??!?!”AS`W
mysenpaisneedhelp (2h)
they ALWaYYS do nowadays!! at this point they sometimes don’t even pull the other futon out. we all just stand/sit there and pretend nothing is happening bc what are we supposed to say??
ringmyding (2h)
have you tried,, talking to them. like, sit them down together, listing all the evidence like you did now and just tell them to date already??
mysenpaisneedhelp (2h)
i think that’s what Y-senpai did with Ted-senpai?
myamigosere (2h)
yeah, those things seem like stuff teenagers would do
mysenpaisneedhelp (2h)
i’m 16 ??
myamigosere (2h)
oooooof, op is a baby !!!!
With another sigh Lev put his phone down. He had still to receive advice he could try. At this point, Lev feared there was no one who could help him deal with the issue. The internet was supposed to have an answer for everything. And yet, the answer was still stubbornly deluding him.
It seemed more like people were interested in what was happening without offering any kind of advice. Lev didn’t know what to make of it. One of his commenters had said something about a tweet about the subreddit went “viral”. Lev had no idea what that meant but he sincerely hoped nobody got sick after worrying about the issue. And even then, no one came to offer any input.
Lev was at his wits end. There was only one thing he could do.
Picking his phone back up, he called Yaku-senpai.
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/o3sla/some_news
2h
Some news
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
You guys are still not helping but I think people are interested in what’s happening now? Well, who am I to deny you.
It seems yesterday night, Y-senpai had a serious talk with Ted-senpai again. They talked about feelings but Y-senpai did not want to tell me much about it. I know you guys would love to know the details. Blame Y-senpai on this. (I’m sorry Y-senpai!!)
I guess one of us should also talk to Ken-san. But the thing is. Ken-san is really, really scary. One would not expect this bc he’s so small but,, to be honest with you. I am scared. Also, Ted-senpai always gets this look when Ken-san gets scary.
Anyway. Where was I? Talking, yes. I think it might have went something like “Things can’t go on like this. We’re going crazy!!!” bc that’s basically just what it’s like.
You know what happened yesterday during practice? Ted-senpai KISSED Ken-san.
Well, it was on the forehead and more a brush of lips but?? that still counts doesn’t it?? Ted-senpai had been acting weird for the rest and left really early afterwards. I wonder what was up with that?
And I saw Ken-san blush!! That was the first time I ever saw that!! It was cute.
- L
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465 comments sorted by Q&A
undercoverbromance (1h)
you know. i had this feeling before but when op said “Ted-senpai always gets this look when Ken-san gets scary“ it just confirms it- I bet he’s *John Mulaney voice* scared but horny
mysenpaisneedhelp (1h)
I DIDN’T WANT THIS PICTURE WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
odetome (1h)
careful, don’t fall in love with ken-san yourself, op :D
mysenpaisneedhelp (55 min)
I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH KEN-SAN
- meanwhile, on a different platform -
mutterfly @coffeebien
LFSKDJFLK THE REDDIT BOYFRIENDS OP he is so FUNNY i am cackling he really is the best
1.2k likes 563 retweets 28 May 2020 3:23 PM
louis @mutterschiff
i hear people talking about these reddit boyfriends all over my tl,, what’s this about?
mutterfly @coffeebien
a guy made a post about how his senpai’s are dating (i’m assuming he’s either japanese or an extreme weeaboo) but they have no idea that they are so op and friends got fed up and want to make them realize they’re dating. it’s pure chaos
louis @mutterschiff
that does sound super chaotic XD
mutterfly @coffeebien
i am having a field day :D
stream baek’s cb weaklings @cbnhyun
the whole story seems soooo unreal but the way op describes it i can’t help but want to believe it
ranma boy @redhairedprinc
HE SEEMS SO LOST I WANNA PROTECC
a2 @goodofwar
link pls
stream baek’s cb weaklings @cbnhyun
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisne…
moved pinned @tothefuture
his “I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH KEN-SAN” peak comedy he seemed so shocked lkfnsdlkfsd
seirei * irregular rights @godtsuka
BLESS THIS CHILD istg
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/9fja/we_did_it
2h
We did it !!!!!
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
I AM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE. THEY FINALLY KNOW. THEY ARE DATING. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE EVEN THOUGH NONE OF YOU REALLY HELPED I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT.
- L
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763 comments sorted by BEST
midnightlove (2h)
DON’T LEAVE US HANGING NOW OP
myeverythingbleeds (1h)
DID OP REALLY LEAVE ?? COME BACK HERE WE NEED AAAAANSWEEEERS
tiemloves (3 min)
IT’S BEEN HOURS WHERE DID OP GO
darthvaderboob (21 min)
#comebackop
destieny (41 min)
#comebackop
minegraft (55 min)
#comebackop
rivialzagera (30 min)
#comebackop
https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisneedhelp/comments/o3sla/the_reveal
30 min
the reveal
self.mysenpaisneedhelp
lfsjdlf people kept screaming at me to tell them what happened so, here I go:
It was really anti-climatic, really. After practice, Kuroo-senpai was dragging out getting changed and Ken-san was waiting for him. I didn’t see what was happening but then suddenly Ted-senpai was leaning against the lockers with Ken-san standing reeeaaally close in front of him (hands against his chest, tippy toes and all to be able to keep balance). they were staring at each other so I assume they were doing one of their mind-melt thingies?? anyway, again, i have no idea how that happened but suddenly Ted-senpai went “ oh, fuck, we’re dating aren’t we?” and Ken-san just laughed at him.
I was too busy cheering to know what happened next but they left real quick afterwards. But wow, guys, you have to imagine the NOISE we made. Our coach came over to see if everything was alright bc he was getting worried. So, that’s it. That’s the story how Ted-senpai and Ken-san realized they were dating.
~~~~~~~~ (this is me waving you guys goodbye)
- L
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612 comments sorted by BEST
ellefeeela (25 min)
lkcnskcsc op,, you are telling us -- you had exactly nothing to do with all of this
cloudfixme (25 min)
op is like us: doing nothing but enjoying the drama
trailsofcoldfeels (16 min)
…… kuroo-senpai LFKJDSFLKSDf DID OP ACCIDENTALLY DROP TED-SENPAI’S NAME????
loneyhearts (8 min)
HE REALLY DID XFSKXDNCSLD
shineeelove (22 min)
glsfdj i love how this narration tells us about nothing,, true op fashion
batshateme (6 min)
THE MIND MELT THINGIE FIXES THINGS i love this,,
numericalica (17 min)
didn’t op say that “ken-san is not the type to take initiative” or sth? and now it was him who fixed the issue :D maaan, this ken-san,, i’m really beginning to like him
kingdomfarts (27 min)
i’d love to hear more tbh,, but i think op is the wrong one to ask,, he really knows nothing
britishcatfacts (19 min)
op is the tuxedo mask meme
- meanwhile, on a different platform -
mahouka rules @todoruki
THE REDDIT BOYFRIENDS ARE OFFICIALLY BOYFRIENDS EVERYONE
[ screenshot of mysenpaisneedhelp’s last update ]
20.6k likes 9.2k retweets 30 May 2020 1:21 PM
mha new season @dekunai
op really is useless xD
Renate @rollerskates
aaaah, i am sad to see this go but i am happy they finally realized that was a roller coaster
sayuri @harukafree
the mIND MELT-THINGIEEEEEE AHHHHH
lissa @lissaartists
before someone has to ask: https://www.reddit.com/user/mysenpaisne…
sahne @juiletnromeo
you are a god-sent!!!
check pinned @dumbledoreass
thank you!
super RIKA @syperwoman
this was a mess from the beginning to the end
Finally, Lev put his phone down. He had done good.