Chapter Text
When Gabrielle and Xena arrived at the coffee shop, Joxer was standing in the middle of a huge mess and spraying the counter with a fire extinguisher.
"What did you do?" Gabrielle exclaimed. "And why didn't you call the fire department?"
Joxer put down the extinguisher. "Fire's out now. It was only a small one, the smoke detector didn't even go off."
Gabrielle ignored him and surveyed the damage. There was a scorch mark partially covered with white foam beneath what remained of the bean grinder and a hole in the wall behind it, under which was a small pile of rubble.
"Thanks for coming, Gabby. Hi, Xena." He did a visible double take, like his head was attached to a string being pulled back and forth. "Xena? Oh, you two made up. I'm so glad."
Gabrielle gritted her teeth. "I made Ephiny promise to keep it secret."
"Oh, Ephiny didn't tell me about your argument. Autolycus did."
Xena coughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck.
Gabrielle huffed. "Well, Autolycus needs to mind his own business. And for your information, Xena and I haven't made up yet. We were about to when you called to tell me you WRECKED THE COFFEE SHOP!" She threw up her hands, then lowered them when she saw Xena and Joxer were both staring at her. "What?"
"That's some impressive rage," Joxer commented. "I didn't know you had that in you."
She sighed. "Neither did I. But it's been a rough day."
Xena was still staring at her with a tentatively hopeful expression. "You said we hadn't made up yet. Does that mean you think we're going to?"
Gabrielle turned to her. "Of course. I'm sorry I tried to push you into something you didn't want, but I'd love to still be your friend."
Xena smiled. "About what I said-"
"Excuse me," Joxer announced. "I hate to interrupt this much-needed conversation, but we need to deal with this before Salmoneus finds out."
Xena tossed her hair and put a hand on her hip. "What makes you think Salmoneus won't find out?"
"Because I called Gabrielle, not Amarice, and she's less likely to get me in trouble."
"You don't need Amarice, you get in trouble just fine all by yourself."
Joxer started to say something, then changed his mind and closed his mouth.
Gabrielle took another look at the counter. "Seriously, Joxer, what did you do?"
"Nothing! I just tried to set the coffee beans grinding ready for tomorrow like Salmoneus told me to, but when I put them in the machine it made this weird noise and blew up. Then I grabbed the fire extinguisher and it made another noise that scared me, so I tripped and accidentally bashed the wall with the fire extinguisher."
Xena walked over to examine the hole, poking it with her finger. "You'd have been better off calling a drywaller. I don't think we can help you."
Joxer looked so disheartened that Gabrielle started racking her brains, desperate to come up with something they could do. She was a writer, finding creative solutions was her area of expertise. What had Salmoneus said the other day? He thought neon would look good over the counter.
She snapped her fingers. "I've got it!"
"Got what?" Joxer asked.
"A solution to one out of your two problems. Salmoneus said a while ago that he wanted to decorate this area with neon and I have a neon sign at home that I bought ages ago but never hung up anywhere. It's about the same size as the hole, so we could put it up and say it's an interior decorating choice."
Joxer nodded. "It could work."
"But what about the other side?" Xena said.
Gabrielle made a dismissive gesture. "There's a built-in cupboard on the other side. If Salmoneus looks in there it means he's actually working. The day that happens we'll have bigger problems than a measly hole."
Xena glanced at Joxer, who shrugged. "She's right."
"I can run and get it now," Gabrielle offered. "While I'm gone, you two clean up as much dust and foam as possible."
She left them scrubbing the counter and floor with wet cloths and jogged back to her apartment, where she quickly located the neon sign that had been gathering dust in her bottom drawer for about a year. It was pink and said 'love' in fancy cursive letters. She also took a hammer and nail from Ephiny's toolbox, figuring that she wouldn't mind if it was for a good cause.
With it all in her purse, she ran back and saw the place looking better already. The pile of rubble was gone and the foam had been wiped off the counter.
"Got them," she said, holding up the stuff.
"Shall I do it?" Joxer suggested.
"I appreciate the offer but I think your skills are better for cleaning," Gabrielle said. "There's still some pieces of wall on the floor here."
"Good call, I'll get the dustpan and brush."
As Joxer went into the back room, Gabrielle hammered the nail into the wall and hung the sign from it, which covered the hole perfectly. She turned the light on and was relieved to see the batteries still worked.
She felt Xena come up behind her and turned to see her appraising nod. "Looks good," she commented. "I think Salmoneus will like it."
"Let's hope so," Gabrielle said heavily. "But he's scared of you, right? So you'll make sure Joxer doesn't get in too much trouble."
"I will," Xena assured her. "But don't tell him that or he might think it gives him immunity to do whatever he wants."
Gabrielle giggled. "You're probably right." When Joxer came back in, she commented, "The counter is looking better. You can barely see the scorch marks. But I'm still not entirely clear on what happened. Show me exactly what you did."
Abandoning his sweeping, he stood. "I got the bag of beans and poured them in just here-" He demonstrated.
"That's the wrong end! No wonder it exploded. The beans are supposed to go in the funnel here at the top." If it had been anyone else, Gabrielle would have wondered how they could make that mistake since the design was so intuitive, but since it was Joxer she didn't question it.
"They are? Oh man." He looked at them pleadingly. "Is there anything you can do to fix it?"
"Fraid not." Xena patted him on the shoulder. "You're on your own for this one, buddy."
"Okay," he said sadly, then perked up with an idea. "I can order a new one from Amazon, their delivery times are unbelievable. I think they have drones now. My brother ordered a frying pan and three hours later it was on his doorstep!"
"You give that a try," Xena said.
"I will. Thanks for your help."
Gabrielle and Xena left Joxer to it and started walking in the direction of their apartments.
The same awkward silence from earlier descended over them and Gabrielle decided to take the plunge. "Xena," she began. "What did you want to talk about?"
Xena put a hand on Gabrielle's arm to stop her walking. "Gabrielle, I'm so sorry I said no when you asked me out. The truth is I really like you and I do want to go on a date with you, but I was just scared. My last serious relationship ended very badly and it was my fault, so when you said that I panicked and let my fear get the better of me."
"Really?" was all Gabrielle could say. She was feeling a lot of things, but mainly giddy relief that Xena actually did like her.
"Yes really. You see, back then I was just looking for a fling but he wanted to get married and have children. I thought I could change his mind, but things just got worse and worse until we argued. I said a lot of hurtful things, most of which I didn't mean, then we never spoke again. I was a different person a few years ago. Now I know that Borias didn't do anything wrong, but at the time I hated him for it."
Gabrielle nodded, fascinated by the story and sympathetic to Xena's regret, but something caught her memory. "Wait - Borias?"
"Yeah?" Xena said warily.
"I think I met him. Tall, scary-looking dude with long hair?"
"That's him."
"He came into the coffee shop today!"
Xena shook her head in disbelief. "First Hercules, now Borias. Next you'll be telling me you know a lady called Lao Ma."
"I don't."
"That's a relief." She turned serious again. "Anyway, I was scared of commitment considering my track record for ruining relationships. But it was wrong of me to take it out on you in that way. I would very much like to go on a date if that offer is still open."
Gabrielle half laughed. "You know, I was worried that you were so offended I thought you liked girls, or liked me, that you'd never want to see me again."
"That's what we get for not talking about these things." Xena started walking again.
"Shakespearian levels of drama," Gabrielle agreed.
Xena put her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders, who reciprocated with an arm around her waist due to their height difference. "So about this date."
Gabrielle laughed. "I almost feel like we're past that stage now. But what are you doing tomorrow?"
"I'm teaching athletics again tomorrow. You can come if you're free, but it's in addition to our proper first date."
"Agreed."
-
The next day, Gabrielle and Xena got to the sports field and saw that something had clearly gone wrong.
A group of boys in football gear were running around the field led by a male teacher, while the athletics girls stood at one side and glared.
Gabrielle automatically looked at Xena, whose eyes narrowed when she caught sight of the teacher. "Ares."
"You know him?" Gabrielle asked, then realized what a stupid question it was and chuckled. "Of course you do, you know everyone." She frowned. "Is he another of your exes?"
"We never properly dated but I guess you could say that," Xena replied, still watching him.
When the boys finished their lap and started doing stretches, Ares jogged up to them. "Hey Xena, fancy seeing you here."
Xena stared him down. "Something tells me you were expecting to see me here."
"Oh don't be like that," he wheedled. "Is that any way to greet an old friend?"
"Ares, I booked the field for this time every week. So are you and your team going to be moving on, or will we have a problem?"
"You have such a blunt way of dealing with things." He took a step forward and trailed his fingertips up her arm. "We could always...share."
She removed his hand from her arm with her thumb and index finger, then said in the same slow and quiet tone, "I don't think so."
"You never know, it might be fun."
Gabrielle couldn't see exactly what Xena did, but she tightened her grip where she still had hold of Ares' wrist and made him exclaim.
"Ow! Alright, jeez." He wrenched his hand out of Xena's grasp and rubbed it.
However, that didn't seem to deter him so Gabrielle decided to step in. "I think Xena has made her point," she said. "So you should leave us to our lesson."
"But we don't have anywhere else to go."
"You obviously do because Xena always has the field at this time and you've managed up until now. Besides, it's not fair on either of your classes since they're missing out on their lessons while we stand here squabbling. So I think it's best for you to leave."
Gabrielle finished her speech and noticed Xena staring at her. For a moment she wondered if she was alright, then saw her fond expression and had to hide her own accomplished smile.
Then Xena cleared her throat and folded her arms as she turned her attention back to the object of her anger. "This field ain't big enough for the both of us, Ares. So what's it gonna be?"
"I'm not leaving," he said.
Xena tossed her hair. "Well, that leaves us only one option."
"And what's that?"
She tilted her head in the direction of the running track. "We race. Winner gets the field, loser goes someplace else."
Ares looked at her, unimpressed. "This is ridiculous. Can't we settle this like adults?"
She smirked. "Why, scared you'll lose?"
He straightened his shirt. "No. Course not."
"Then what are you waiting for? Let's go." She took off her jacket and walked over to the starting line of the track. "Gabrielle, can you be the referee?"
"Sure." Gabrielle took the whistle Xena held out for her and got into position next to the track.
All the students crowded around, pinching each other like they didn't believe this was really happening. They were probably having the time of their lives.
"On your marks, get set -" Gabrielle blew the whistle.
Xena and Ares were off, leaving nothing but dust behind them. Each was being cheered for by their respective class, who were emulating their teachers' rivalry by trying to cheer louder than the other.
"Go Xena!" Gabrielle shouted. She allowed herself a moment to admire Xena's form while she ran, then made sure to watch the finish line closely.
It was neck-in-neck as they approached the final corner, both straining as their legs pumped up and down and their arms swung. Then in the final stretch, Xena began to pull ahead with momentum that practically threw her over the finish line ahead of Ares.
Gabrielle jumped up and down while she clapped, then ran over to Xena and nearly knocked her over with a hug. "You did it!"
"I sure did," Xena replied breathlessly.
They kept their arms around each other as they looked at Ares who, exactly as Gabrielle had predicted, was sulking like a sore loser.
Then Xena let go and approached him. "Xena wins again," she drawled.
He gave her a dirty look. "You may have won this time, Xena, but it's not over. I'll be back."
She scoffed. "Who do you think you are, Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yes it is. I won fair and square, and I don't want you bothering me anymore."
Without acknowledging them any further, Ares turned and walked away. His football team trailed behind him miserably, in the opposite of a victory lap.
Meanwhile, Xena watched her athletics class laugh and celebrate. She high-fived Yakut and Otere.
"Nicely done," Gabrielle congratulated as she stood next to Xena.
"Well, I couldn't have done it without encouragement from my girlfriend," she replied quietly. "Come on, we have a class to teach."
-
When she and Xena had been dating for about a month, it was Gabrielle's birthday.
She'd had a busy shift at the coffee shop and was later than usual leaving, since she'd had to stay behind and mop up where a young customer had spilled hot chocolate all over the floor.
On her way home she checked her phone and saw lots of cute happy birthday messages from her friends and family, plus another from Ephiny apologizing for getting held up at the office unexpectedly. Everybody was busy or unavailable for one reason or another, so she figured it would be best to hold off on any big celebration for the time being.
As she unlocked the door, she wasn't thinking about much except what to make for dinner. So when she turned on the light and her friends and family yelled 'surprise!', she was indeed surprised.
Ephiny, Xena, her parents and her sister Lila were standing in a line wearing cone-shaped party hats. The living room was decorated with birthday banners and balloons had been sellotaped to the ceiling.
"Wow!" she exclaimed, laughing. She was both so shocked and so happy that she didn't know how to react. "I can't believe it!"
"We got her good," Ephiny said with a chuckle.
Now the initial surprise had worn off, Gabrielle was starting to get emotional. "I don't know what to say."
"Well don't babble at me," Ephiny said. "This was Xena's idea."
Gabrielle ran over and hugged Xena tightly. "Thank you," she whispered in her ear. "This is the best birthday ever."
"It ain't over yet," Xena whispered back.
She let go of Xena and went to hug her parents and sister. It had been a while since she'd last seen them in person and she was resisting the urge to cry.
"I can't believe you're here!" she said. "It's such a long drive. And who's looking after the farm?"
"The neighbours agreed to help out for a few days," her mom replied. "We wanted to do something special for your birthday so when Xena contacted us, we thought it was the perfect opportunity."
"I had some vacation days saved up," Lila added. "And I wanted to meet your girlfriend."
"What do you think of her?" Gabrielle asked, after checking Xena wasn't within earshot. She had gone into the kitchen, but Ephiny was watching their conversation with an approving nod.
"She's wonderful," her dad said. "We're so pleased you found someone like her, and we can see how much you love each other."
If she had been emotional earlier, she was dangerously close to crying now. "You don't know how much that means to me."
"I'd say we have a pretty good idea," Lila said. "Judging from those waterworks."
"Hey Gabrielle," Xena called from the kitchen.
"Just a moment," Gabrielle said to her family.
She went into the kitchen and saw that room had been decorated as well, with a cake and a pile of presents on the table.
Xena smiled when she saw her. "Sorry to drag you away from your family but there's something I wanted to do."
Then Xena closed the space between them, cupped Gabrielle's face in her hands and kissed her. For a moment Gabrielle forgot about everything except how much she had been wanting to do this. Xena's lips on hers, Xena touching her hair, it was better than she had ever imagined.
After a moment, Xena pulled away and gave a soft smile. "Happy Birthday, Gabrielle."
It took Gabrielle a second to gather her thoughts, but after that she hugged her. "I love you, Xena."
From the living room, they heard Ephiny say in a pointedly loud voice, "Yes, I think it would be a good idea to open presents now. Let's go into the kitchen."
Gabrielle stepped around so she was hugging Xena from the side when everyone else entered the room.
"Check out this cake," Ephiny said proudly. "I made it myself."
"It looks delicious," Gabrielle's mom replied.
Everyone sat down around the table and Xena pushed a card and present towards Gabrielle. "These are from me."
Carefully, Gabrielle opened the present. It was a mug that said 'future bestselling author'. "I love it! Thank you, Xena."
Xena smiled and nodded at the envelope. "Don't forget the card."
Gabrielle opened that too, and noticed a small piece of paper fall out. A voucher for a spa day.
"I know how hard you've been working lately and I thought you could use some time to relax," Xena said.
"Thank you," Gabrielle said sincerely.
"Open mine next," Lila said eagerly, handing her a book-shaped parcel.
Gabrielle opened her presents, feeling a little self-conscious when all eyes were on her. But she was so happy to have all her loved ones with her on her birthday that she could tolerate a little awkwardness.
After all the presents had been opened, it was time for the cake. Her mom lit the candles and everyone sang Happy Birthday, then cheered and made Gabrielle laugh.
"Make a wish," her mom said.
Gabrielle blew out the candles but she didn't make a wish. In that moment, she had everything she had ever wanted.