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A Beginner’s Guide to Breaking Up with Your In-Laws (A Rom/Com in Three Acts) by suitesamba
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 May 2020
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Summary
Harry, divorced from Ginny for more than a year, spends so much time with her parents that he may as well be dating them. When Charlie comes home for a visit, he realises that Harry's social life revolves around Molly and Arthur and comes to the rescue. His old friend Severus Snape owes him a favour and he calls it in - for Harry. Severus, charged with introducing Harry to gay Wizarding life in London, arranges two nearly perfect blind dates for Harry. The men are everything Harry thought he wanted - but it turns out Harry really didn't know what he wanted at all.
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Bookmark Notes:
harry’s too close with ginny’s parents ever since they got divorced. like he meets them thrice a week, and who fucking does that? ron and hermione knows harry needs a life of his own, thank you, you two. i fucking love you charlie weasley. charlie tells harry that he’s gotta friend who can introduce him to the gay side. and who else is better than severus fucking snape? sev arranges two blind dates for harry. and guess who he ends up with. AND OH, i FUCKING LOVE harry’s children. “You may tell Mr. Weasley that he needs practice perfecting my ‘Brew Fame and Bottle Glory’ speech.” – i was wishing that snape was there in the tree broomstricks when ron was impersonating him and i just LOVE the author for reading my mind. And there it was – Snape laughed again. It wasn’t a snort of disbelief or disdain but rather an amused, good-natured laugh. – harry getting entranced with sev when he laughs is so adorable. “Yes. I already know their names – you obviously didn’t bother buying a baby name book.” – PLEASE HAHAHAHAHAH his reaction to albus potter’s name is gold, it can’t get any better. “Well, to be fair, I was walking behind you staring at your arse, not his.” – oh, harry KNOWS how to flirt. and i want him cause of it. Harry realised at that point that Snape was moving with the music, and he – Harry – was moving with Snape. – THIS. PLEASE. the tension in this scene was so palpable and so fucking hot. And by the end of it all, he was beginning to think about Snape as Severus. – i smiled too much after of that. When Severus didn’t respond – again – Harry once again turned his head and once again found Severus looking at him with that same, unreadable expression. – this was the time that i KNEW severus snape was falling in love with harry potter. “You have plenty of assets,” he assured her, deliberately letting his eyes stray down to her chest. – OH MY GOD THE WAY I GASPED AND LAUGHED AFTER- harry’s so sassy. ….but the appearance of Severus Snape in his living room, wearing the same shirt in the exact shade of indigo blue that he was currently wearing, definitely calmed any misgivings he had about his choice of wardrobe. – THIS. them wearing the EXACT SAME shirt was already a big give away on how they were meant for each other. Severus approached him and, without comment, unbuttoned the cuffs of Harry’s sleeves and folded them up just below his elbow to match his own. – i swear to you the way my eyes widened at the fact that he just started fixing harry’s outfit was soooo hot for me. And who would know what Harry wanted better than Harry? How could it go wrong? – oh please, we both know severus would know better. He was just shy of forty and he’d now kissed three people. – him acting as a hormonal teenager who just had his first kiss after kissing his first bloke is downright precious to me. “Dad, as humiliating as it is to read about your own father looking like “liquid sex” and “nearly bursting out of his arse-hugging jeans,” I can give you a first-time offender’s pass on that but DAD, are you even THINKING? – PLEASE NOW I KNOW WHY ALBUS IS A SLYTHERIN- mind you this is a fourteen year old roasting his own dad, scorpius got that effect on him😆. “Nope. Not liquid sex. Not at all.” – ron saying this is so fucking hilarious😭. But – Severus Snape? Was he really interested in Severus? That way? – i’ll answer it for you, honey. yes, you are down bad interested in him in THAT way. They stared at each other for a very long time, until a fond smile appeared on Severus’ face, and touched his eyes, and Harry’s smile nearly split his face in two. – they’re so precious please just get married already🥺. “Well, you managed to dress yourself well enough without my help.” - He’d worn jeans and a new long-sleeved t-shirt, with the black jacket. “But it’s nice having something to get dressed for – or someone.” – okay, the fact that harry dressed like a twenty year old in the prime of his years to his other two blind dates and he ended up not giving them a chance while he dressed like a fucking exhausted dad in those loose jeans and he still managed to FUCKING PULL SEVERUS AND MAKE HIM SO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM IS SPEAKING IN VOLUMES!!!! “Oh, don’t get dressed on my account,” Harry laughed, and Severus smiled, and just like that, Severus reached out and took hold of Harry’s wrist and pulled him forward. – guys he doesn’t need harry to dress for him🥺. “No, what’s really improved from being around you is my sex life.” – uumm, okay yeah i need to be convinced BUT THE AUTHOR FUCKING ROBBED ME. “I love unicorns because they supply a plethora of magical ingredients, not because they’re adorable,” Severus clarified. – that’s still adorable in it’s own accord. The owl flew on, unconcerned that Ginny Weasley’s red silk honeymoon knickers were now stretched tautly across her ex-husband’s crotch while he received a thorough buggering from her former Headmaster. – DETAILS. I NEED THE FUCKING DETAILS.
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Bookmark Notes:
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