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Finding Love

Summary:

Because it was about her and finding someone she could be with, for real.

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Most days she hated showing up to film for her own show. She hated pretending to like the arrogant douchebags and the annoying cry babies the producers selected for her. She had told them, several times, to find a balance. Don’t go to the extreme of either side. The guy for her didn’t have to be macho, he didn’t have to have the biggest muscles or any muscles really. But she didn’t want some delicate flower, someone she could break if she rode him too hard one night. Somewhere in the middle, solid but gentle. 

She certainly wanted him to, at the very least, not be in the closet. 

She had no issues with gay guys. She had no reason to have an issue with them, but she did take issue with someone who wanted to use her to pretend he’s straight. That wasn’t going to fly. And this season, somehow, they’d gotten a guy who was so buried in the closet but so apparently in love with another contestant that she caught herself sighing several times a day. It wasn’t that he was cliché or anything, far from it. But his actions, his demeanor around Erik was similar to how she’d been around her first love back in high school. 

She supported them but she needed him off her show. 

Because it was about her and finding someone she could be with, for real. Someone she could see herself falling for and she wouldn’t be one of those women who fell for a man who would never love her. She wouldn’t set herself up like that, she was going to find someone who made her happy or so help her…
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She wasn’t sure who she could talk to about this. She had never really been close with her siblings and her parents probably didn’t care all that much if she kept the show or left it. But she wanted to discuss this, to weigh her options out loud and bounce the idea of cancelling it all together off someone. But she wanted it to be someone who gave a shit about her, who would have her best interests at heart. 

Two people immediately sprang to mind, and she felt like an idiot for not considering it before. 

She sent the text, asking them to meet her at HQ for a ‘non-Saint related’ meeting. She got an immediate response from Pierce, telling her he would be on his way just as soon as he finished buying a new gun that was finally available in Steelport.  Boss didn’t even text her back and felt a little deflated by that. Deflated and angry. 

Fucking asshole. 

Still, she figured that since she’d asked them to show up, she should start making her way there herself. 

The drive was quick and when she arrived, the Boss was already there, barking out orders to the Saints that always seemed to linger around. 

“All y’all get out! Find somethin’ to do!” her voice wasn’t really commanding but none of them questioned it. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” Shaundi called up the stairs. Boss leaned over the railing and frowned. 

“Of course, I was comin’. I just didn’t see a point in textin’ back when you woulda seen me soon enough.” She responded. A few Saints still lingered, taking their time getting out the door. Boss pointed them out. “Hey! Y’all deaf? I said get the fuck out! Matter of fact, I saw some Luchadores earlier. Go make them change their colors.” That motivated them out the door. Soon, it was just the two of them, so Boss made her way down the stairs and Shaundi whistled. 

“Nice suit. Big date?” she asked. She was being serious, in her opinion their Boss looked great in her suit. It wasn’t tight fitting; you couldn’t really make out every curve but there was still no mistaking that she was a woman despite the men’s suit. She looked good. 

Shaundi liked it. 

“Nah. I’m gonna be on TV though!” That, Shaundi did not like. Because any time you put her in front of a camera, Boss flopped. Hard. 

“Oh that’s…great.”

“Don’t worry, it was just an interview on the set of Gangstas in Space. They decided they’re gonna go ahead and release it.”

“Please tell me you didn’t say anything stupid.” Shaundi felt dread in the pit of her stomach. She knew the Boss and she could tell, from the grin on her face, that she’d said something either stupid or embarrassing. “Oh God.”

“Oh God what? Dang Boss, hot date?” Pierce’s voice cut through and Shaundi simply shook her head. 

“Interview.” Was all Boss said. Pierce nodded his acknowledgement then turned his attention to Shaundi. 

“What’s up? You never text me for a meetin’.” He asked, sitting on the couch. Boss joined him, propping her feet up on the coffee table while Shaundi remained standing. She paced a little, wondering how to formulate her thoughts while they waited patiently, only bickering a little bit. One hand rested on her hip and the other fiddled around her choker idly. 

“What do you guys think of my show?” she finally asked. She faced them, waiting patiently. 

“I personally think it’s shit.”

“Boss! You can’t just say shit like that! It’s alright accordin’ to gossip sites. I haven’t actually watched it.” Pierce admitted. Boss scoffed and Shaundi glared at them both. 

“You asked.”

“What’s so shit about it?” she demanded to know. The Boss shrugged a single shoulder and Shaundi wanted to smack her. 

“Ya don’t look happy on there, hon. Last week you looked downright miserable.” Pierce looked between them before settling his attention on Shaundi. 

“What do you think of your show?”

“It’s bullshit.”

“Called it.”

“Then why are you doin’ it? Leave it.” Pierce suggested simply. Shaundi rolled her eyes a little. 

“I’m under contract, Pierce. I can’t just ‘leave’. I could get sued.” The chances of that were damn high if she was being honest. Pierce scoffed. 

“They sue you; I shoot them. Right?” he looked to the Boss. She held her hand out and he slapped his against it. 

“Damn right.” She agreed. Shaundi pinched the bridge of her nose.

“You can’t just – look, I just wanna know if you two think I’m crazy for havin’ a dating show.”

“Well, kinda. I think that should be somethin’ private until you’re established, then go public. Not the other way around.” Shaundi considered his words for a few long seconds. 

“Boss?”

“I just don’t trust those motherfuckers. Who’s there for the right reason and who isn’t?” she wiped at her pant leg a couple times before looking up. “I think if you’re as unhappy as you look, you gotta take Pierce’s advice and leave it.” She added. Shaundi nodded, mostly to herself. She’d been thinking the same thing, but it still felt good to have two of her closest friends feel the same. 

“I think I wanna finish the season. This could be the one.” She moved to the couch and sat between them heavily, resting her head back on the back of the couch. “Or this could just be a monumental screw up. Do you know that I don’t even get a peak at who’s coming? I find out when filming starts and by that point I don’t have enough time to vet these guys myself.” 

“Damn. They’re doin’ you like that?” Pierce sounded as surprised as she was the first day of filming back in season one. 

“Mhm.”

“You wanna go shoot some folks to cheer yourself up?”

“… mhm.”