Chapter Text
“Haiji, seriously, what a drag; when are you going to grow a pair and ask her out already?”
The sixteen-year-old version of Haiji Kiyose flicked his finger onto the other boy’s forehead, earning a shocked yelp of pain.
“And when are you going to drop this line of conversation already?” he retorted light-heartedly.
“Shit, man! Now it’s actually physically painful to watch this train wreck!” The teammate who was rubbing his head furiously was a friend of Haiji’s from as far back as elementary school, so they were close enough at this point to bicker like this. The rest of the junior cross-country team were more reserved, but not discreet enough to avoid staring at Haij with amusement as the butt of the joke.
“Seriously, what is wrong with all of you?” Haiji sighed exasperatedly, noticing. “I thought I already made it crystal clear for you all. There is nothing going on between me and [Name]-chan. Besides, she doesn’t seem to like me very much.”
“Bro, are you seriously still on about that? She’s totally into you. Tsunderes always bully the guy they like, right? If you’re being degraded, she has the hots for you.”
“Isn’t there a name for that? Ah, why can’t I remember it right now…”
“Mm. You just like to make things difficult for yourself. Kiyose-dono always has to win first place, right? You’re such a competitive bastard. All the girls in class are already fawning for you, but of course, you want the only one who doesn’t care about you. Tch.”
“You’re so lucky. Even Airi-chan has a crush on you. She’s the prettiest girl in the whole grade!”
“When will you gorillas learn how to respect people’s feelings? This is exactly why none of you have ever had a girlfriend. None of you deserve one with this kind of talk! I’m not going to start dating ‘anybody’ just because it’s ‘easy’—I’m not that type of guy. And you lot shouldn’t be, either!” Haiji, always predictable, was too passionate to turn away from such an obviously baited argument. His speech continued until he realized he was talking about her again, and his momentum suddenly faltered. “[Name]-chan’s… not like any of the other girls in class. She’s, uh… different!”
“Aha—masochism! That’s the word I was looking for. It’s when guys get off on girls mistreating them.”
“Eh… totally Haiji-san.”
“Yup. I agree.”
“Not you too, Fuijioka?” Haiji whined, whipping around at the familiar baritone that cut through the team’s laughter. “You were supposed to be on my side!”
The taller boy snorted a laugh and rolled his dark eyes, looking back to the bleachers, where you were still sitting all hunched in a ball of scowls. You stood all of the sudden and began to march off with the same dedicated fervor you had when coming to track down your co-president. Your ponytail swung like a metronome, and it was not lost on the other long-distance runners that Haiji was staring after you wistfully.
“He’s like a hopeless puppy.”
“Seriously. Are you gonna cry, man? Your eyes are getting all misty.”
“Such a sucker for abuse.”
“You guys are going to be running extra laps if you’re going to keep hassling me like this!” the captain snapped. “Go do your dynamic stretches!”
Fujioka laughed to himself, smiling secretively as Haiji shooed off his team-mates.
“Something funny?” Haiji huffed aggravatedly, ears red as he plopped into the grass beside his friend.
“You should see the look on your face. It’s no wonder why everybody teases you.” Fujioka shook his head, releasing his ankle from its stretch. The kind of guy to be wise beyond his years, he leant forwards inquisitively. “You’re not usually the dishonest type. Why hold back now?”
“It’s just… it doesn’t seem…” Haiji sighed, too vexed for words as the conversation began to take on a serious tone. “I guess… I’m just afraid that things would change. That she wouldn’t talk to me anymore if I told her how I really felt.”
“What do you mean?” Fujioka pressed vaguely, encouraging him to continue.
“Like what if… she starts to treat me differently? Maybe we wouldn’t be able to make the same jokes or talk to each other the same way anymore because she’d pity me or something. Or maybe she’d decide she’s better off not wasting her time on me at all. We only started talking because we got randomly chosen to be class presidents, anyways. If I dropped a bomb like that, the rest of the year would be way too awkward for her. It’s better to stay as we are right now. There’s no point in ruining a good thing…”
His voice trailed off. Haiji’s eyes drifted back towards the bleachers where you had been sitting.
“You’ve never sounded so unsure about something before,” Fujioka replied carefully, looking a bit closer at Haiji’s expression. “Or… nervous. Interesting. There really is something in the world that can scare you after all, Kiyose.”
“It’s fine. It’s not like she’d actually show up to tomorrow’s meet anyways; she’d be too embarrassed. I was just joking around.”
“Oh, so you did ask her to come to tomorrow’s competition? You’ve got guts on you.”
“What’re you talkin’ about, man…”
But even a blind man would’ve seen the way his face lit up walking onto the field, a huge neon pink dollar store poster with his face on it being held by his crush. How he easily stole first place and kept on running even after the heat was over—right towards you, a beaming smile on his face. It was a smile full of an adoration for you that never died down, not even after four years of absence. That smile looked exactly the same today as it did back then.
It was like you were made for him or something.
---
“Hey—you should start packing your overnight bag. I’ve booked us a trip home for the weekend, and we need to catch an early bullet train to make our omakase reservation, so—”
“Hang on—what the hell are you talking about?!” Immediately disoriented by the sudden barrage of information Haiji was hurling at you the second he barged into the bedroom, you barely had the time to even lift your eyes from the laptop screen. You were in the middle of writing cover letters for the dozens of job applications you needed to send out and your mind wasn’t exactly present at the moment.
Time passed in the blink of an eye for you after dragging along so excruciatingly slowly. It was amazing how subjective such a construct could be. You were granted a restraining order from your ex-boyfriend, and though it took agonizingly backwards efforts and time, you eventually healed and allowed yourself to move past the trauma. Kansei’s track & field roster had somehow pulled through as a team and won the Hakone Ekiden in the new year. You shipped Haiji off to the hospital one last time for an emergency surgery, though you felt less angry taking care of him during his recovery this time around. It was probably the sense of completion. Something had changed inside of him. He was more honest, and you were more forgiving. Then graduation came and went. You walked the stage and Haiji hobbled in crutches; you said your hurrahs, cried tears of joy with the Aotake roomies you now thought of as family, threw your caps in the air, and now it was time for you to start your career as a working adult. You and Haiji split the cost of rent for a fairly nice apartment in a well-situated district of Tokyo and began to live together as a couple. It seemed like everything was finally falling into place.
But of course, nothing will ever be easy when you’re with Haiji Kiyose. By the time you’d processed your boyfriend’s words, he had already sat on the edge of your shared bed, grinning expectantly at you.
“I’m so busy right now!” you huffed incredulously. Despite being with him for so long, you still couldn’t fathom how he looked so happy-go-lucky all the time. “Why did you book something without asking me first? Your physio only just cleared you from rehab, so shouldn’t you be taking it easy instead of travelling out of the city into the country? Our town isn’t exactly accessible, so—”
“C’mon, we both know you’re overworking yourself because you’re stressed. It doesn’t matter how early or late you send in those applications as long as you meet the deadline, and that’s not ‘till the end of the month, right? So just take a little break and relax with me for a couple of days. Okay?” He was pulling you by the arms to stand in front of him, forcibly tearing you away from your laptop even as you kept trying to type up more words. “I know my body better than anybody, and being up and about in some fresh countryside air is going to do me more good than just sitting around. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ve got it all planned out, baby.”
“I don’t want to go home right now,” you continued to gripe, though you had already surrendered your body and allowed him to walk you towards the bed. “I haven’t even mentally prepared myself to deal with my parents yet. Did you tell them? If I go home but don’t visit them, that’ll cause even more issues, and—”
“I’m telling you, don’t worry about a thing. Since when has ole’ Haiji let you down?” He rubbed his hands up and down your arms, and your weight slouched into his warmth more and more, despite your grumpy facade. He paused, noticing your expression. “Wait. Actually, don’t respond to that. It was a rhetorical question.”
“Well, darn. I was really going to let you have it there.”
He had the power over you to pull every last thread of tension out of your body. You melted into his embrace like butter sinking into fresh, crispy toast, the worries and stress that had been building on your shoulders finally lifted.
“We’re staying at an inn,” he soothed. “And you know your parents have been bugging me to send you home. Better to show your face than to keep them worrying, right?”
“Ugh… I guess so…”
“That’s my girl. Anyways, Remember to pack a rain jacket; weather’s overcast out there.” He kissed you briskly before springing back up to his feet. “I got your favourite sandwich from that new shop at the station you like. Let me go heat it up for you.”
“…thanks, Haiji.” You smiled after him, feeling the lasting imprint of his kiss on your cheek as he whistled to himself in the kitchenette. You found it hard to believe that after all the rough and winding crossroads, you had still managed to find yourself back to him. More surprising still was how you were just as hopelessly head over heels in love with Haiji as you were when you were kids. Maybe even more so now than what you had felt back then. The time you’d spent apart had meant nothing between your two souls. It was like… you were made to love each other. That didn’t mean that it wasn’t terrifying to be so intimate with somebody again—especially with the man who had hurt you so fundamentally once before. If you lost him again, would you ever be able to recover?
But it was all going to be okay, even if it never felt that way in the moment. Haiji wholeheartedly loved you, as brazenly and unabashedly as he did when he was younger, but fearlessly now. You matured, too. There was no reason to fight anymore. It was always the two of you working together against the problem; something you were actually able to do very well despite the bickering as co-presidents so long ago. It wasn’t a race anymore. There was nothing to be done, or achieved, or fulfilled. It was just a long walk together, hand in hand, until sunset.
The peace settled in your heart with warmth as Haiji poked his head back through the doorway, beaming proudly with a plated sandwich on a delicate tray perched in his hands. He’d made you some of your favourite tea to go along with it.
“Ready to eat?” he asked expectantly. You glanced at your laptop before shutting its lid and nodded, unable to help smiling back at him when he looked so earnest.
“You better not drop that on the new rug. I’m not vacuuming.”
---
You got your parents out of the way first, though it went more smoothly than expected. Your mother didn’t hound you on your relationship plans and your father didn’t demand to nose into your job search like they always did. Haiji seemed to cast a placating spell on them, and in no time your parents were eagerly cheers-ing him with beers as if he’d been their son all along. You felt like you were fourth wheeling your own family. Then, instead of doing their long ritual of trying to trap you home by continually demanding you to take things with you that you didn’t need, they all but kicked you out of the house and told you to have fun without worrying about them.
Strange, but welcome.
The inn Haiji booked was pleasant, humble, yet fancy enough to have a private onsen. You were excited to have a soak before dinner when Haiji tutted, pulling you by the arm.
“Not yet, Princess. We’ve got one more stop that we have to make.”
“Can’t we go later?”
He grinned cryptically, shaking his head while holding out a hand for you to take. “No can do. There’s something we’ve got to do before we lose any more daylight.”
It was strange of him to be so structured and strict with his time when he usually preferred to meander. Dinner was at nine. It was only five or so in the evening, the sun only just barely starting to kiss the horizon, bringing that blue-orange hue ablaze across the backdrop of clouds. But you figured it’s about time for you to start trusting Haiji, so despite your lingering uncertainty, you begrudgingly took his hand.
---
“Why are we here of all places?”
“Isn’t it nostalgic?”
Haiji got out of the rental car to open your door. He had upheld his promise to learn to drive more safely, so for once, you didn’t feel like barfing whenever he was behind the wheel. You stepped out of the passenger's seat to join him, staring at the familiar building. Your high school looked the exact same as it did a half-decade ago. There wasn’t even a brick out of place.
“We’re too damn old to be loitering around a high school, Haiji. They’re going to call security on us.”
“Relax, it’s closed today. And besides, this is where it all began.”
You followed him, your hand in his as he led you out to the field. You were starting to get nervous for some reason despite Haiji’s stride being relaxed. Maybe it was the bad memories that you’ve associated with this building for so long. You remembered avoiding that stairwell for the rest of your final year, unable to even look at it without a heavy heart. This school was a place of great happiness and terrible misery for you, and that was all because of Haiji Kiyose.
You scanned the field, which was empty, looking just like you remembered it in your memories… if not a bit more drab. The race track that Haiji practically lived on remained pristine. He walked you to the bleachers that overlooked the tracks, sitting down heavily with an old man grunt of satisfaction. He patted the seat next to you and then weaved an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in so that your head rested against his.
“This was where one of the happiest days of my life happened. You were holding that poster of me—”
“Oh, god,” you interjected immediately, mortified that he’d bring that up. “You remember that?”
“Of course I do. I even kept the poster. It's still in one of my drawers.”
“Ugh, cheesy. You’re so sentimental.”
“It’s easy to do when you mean so much to me.”
His words were quiet and sincere. No jokes, no fronting. An honest love. A vulnerable one.
Your expression softened when your eyes met his, brown and almost gold in the fiercely orange autumn sunset.
“Love you too, Haiji.”
You thought that was it. After all, what else was there to talk about? You had dinner to get to, and you still really wanted a quick soak in that hot mineral water before doing your hair and makeup, and—
So you’re shocked, to say the least, when Haiji slips away from you, stepping down to the metal step one below you. Despite his bad knee, he kneels on one, joints cracking comically loudly. You almost make a joke about it before your eye catches on what he’s holding. And he opens the tiny black box.
“Good. So why don’t you marry me and be mine forever?”
It’s so like him to word it that way instead of asking you to marry him. It’s a statement—a declaration. You can’t say no, he hints (begs).
You remember when you first confessed to him. You thought you were going to die from the stress of it all. He’d laughed at you then, or so you thought—that first kiss was one you could never forget. Back then, you truly believed you’d marry him someday. Then you broke up and lost him forever… or so you thought.
Haiji always gets what he wants. It’s almost like an unwritten rule of the universe. But he deserves it, you think. He’s kind, determined, charismatic, strong, thoughtful, smart, insightful—you could go on forever, even if you’re a bit shy, about how much you love Haiji Kiyose.
“I guess I don’t have a choice,” you sighed wryly, toning down your excitement to a muted (yet huge) grin to pretend like you had kept your cool. But Haiji still managed to see right through you, his quiet smile making your heart leap right into your throat, choking you up with sudden tears that began to roll down your cheeks.
“So…?” he teased, in a gentle voice, coaxing you to say it out loud with his demanding grin. He knew your answer with almost full certainty. You didn’t need to say it. But you knew him, and you knew that as confident and proud as the Oni can be, he’s always a little scared that you’ll somehow find a way to disappear again.
You folded. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“Mm.” He hummed his approval into your neck, kissing you passionately as the sun dipped beneath the blanket of horizon, dying the sky orange and navy. “Kiyose [Name] has got a good ring to it. My name looks perfect on you.”
The possessive nip turned into a suddenly passionate kiss, one that would probably be deemed inappropriate if a security camera from the highschool was turned towards the bleachers. You started to laugh, trying to push him off so you could actually take a good look at the ring he’d picked. But he had crushed you against him in a hug, refusing to let go. The world felt like it had stopped for you, allowing your joy to hang in eternal suspension, if not just for a minute.
If you could go back in time and tell the heartbroken, teenage version of yourself that everything would work out, you’re not sure you would’ve believed it. You’re still amazed at how circumstances randomly fell into place, allowing you to slowly but surely fall in love with Haiji Kiyose again. You were allowed to know what it was like to be loved by him again. It still felt risky to lean into his warmth all the way, because you knew what it was like to be cold without him. But when his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, as if he couldn’t bear to let you go, you knew you could trust him with your life.
“Oh my god, this is exactly like the ring I was thinking of…”
You felt slack jawed as you oscillated the gemstone on your left hand, its faceted hues just the colour you had wanted to wear forever, your love for this shade absolutely timeless. He paid attention to the kind of metal and design that would suit you, yet he still managed to surprise you with just how intricately detailed and beautiful the ring actually was. The seamless fit on your ring finger made you wonder how long he had been thinking about this moment. The piece was, to say the least, perfect for you.
“You used to lecture me on your dream ring in high school all the time. Told me to memorize it—so I did. I never forgot. So good thing you haven’t changed your mind since, huh?”
You buried your face in the crook of Haiji’s neck, your heart floating at the reality that you’re about to be his wife, and you’re about to be able to call him your husband. Your family, forever. The thought made a chill run up your spine. You were so giddy and happy you almost felt sick. You couldn’t even really think of what to say anymore, all your witty comebacks gone. Besides, you were too choked up to talk. You said the only three words you could right now.
“I love you,” you whispered, vulnerable, full of genuine and raw and unsorted emotion.
“Love you more.”
It seemed like you’d get to put in an order for those white orchids you wanted for your wedding after all.