Chapter Text
Realization
Early Saturday morning brought a luscious view of the city, sun beams flooded the all white apartment. It wasn’t the largest apartment ever, barely two bedrooms and a single bathroom. But the open living area was truly her favorite. She loved the openness of it all. There was nowhere to hide. No where for secrets to be kept. She had now lived here for over a year and still had nothing on the walls. A single, plush, large sectional adorned with oversized pillows and fuzzy white throw blankets added to the serene feel. Her obsession with white taunted her inner darkness. She guessed she felt as though surrounding herself with the energy she wished she had would help her move forward with her life. A knock came at the door and she lifted herself off the couch, in which she was comfily smothered.
“Hey Ruth!” She laughed and immediately felt herself relax. Ruth was her brother’s fiance. She was the most incredibly caring and honest human she had ever met. There was no doubt that her brother was madly in love with her and she with him. The way the two oohed and awed at each other made even Sam’s broken heart flutter.
“Sam I am always taken by how warm and bright your apartment is. But you still don’t have any pictures or anything decorated? Do you need help?” Ruth seemed concerned, she always was.
“I’m trying my hand at minimalism Ruth.” She only halfway lied. To be honest, she liked the way the light grey concrete floors seemed to fade into the crisp, white cabinetry, countertops, and ceilings. The full length windows let in all the light needed to make the apartment shine.
“Besides, I have the essentials!” She held out her hand and seemingly showed off the new white kitchen-aid mixer, the white, round marble kitchen table adorned with natural wooden chairs to complete the set, and other odds and ends. In the living room, she had her prized comfy sectional, soft blankets, and a flatscreen T.V. attached to the wall. A white entertainment center housed movies and other essential electronics. Greenery coupled with ivy plants stood out on each side of the system. Other plants scattered throughout the apartment popped against the white serenity of the apartment. The whole look was comforting to her. All substance, no bullshit. She didn’t want any more fluff in her life.
Ruth walked further into the apartment.
“I brought lunch.” Placing a box on the counter. Sam’s favorite! Ruth was truly amazing.
“Ham and pineapple?” Sam asked, hoping for a yes to escape from Ruth.
“Sam, only the best for you my dear!” Opening the large box to expose one of the most glorious sights Sam had ever seen. Little circles of canadian bacon mixed with a heterogeneous mixture of yellow chunks. Practically drooling, Sam walked to the kitchen to grab plates from the cabinet. As she grabbed the heavy plates, her arms slightly buckled from her lingering exhaustion.
“You had another attack yesterday didn’t you?” There was no fooling Ruth. She had known Sam for too long. After every attack, Sam was starved for food and weak beyond belief.
“Let me get that for you.” Sam hated being babied, she knew Ruth meant well. The two collected their pizza and sat on the sofa to have some girl talk.
“Jay didn’t ask you to ‘check up’ on me did he? Cause I’m fine. Just been a stressful week. I know I haven’t returned his phone calls yet. This is supposed to be our sister Saturday together, not 'Jay's behind the scene check up'”
“He understands, and no girl! This day is all ours, promise!” Ruth replied with a wink and a smile.
“He just knows you have so much on your plate at such a young age. We’re both here if you need anything.” Ruth's eyes were endearing, bringing Sam a depth of comfort and love she hadn't felt in so long. Not to be mistaken by the fact that her family truly loved her dearly, they were just suffocating! Ruth was the needed balance in the unending passion that was the Young family.
“Ruth, you're both successful doctors, you have enough going on in your own lives. On top of planning a wedding! I’m fine. I’ve got a great group of people around me. Besides I just hired a new general manager who I think is going to be great.” Last night's moment of her head against Charles’ chest following her asthma attack came full frontal causing her cheeks to become flushed. Shit.
“WHAT WAS THAT SAMARA!” Ruth had used her full name, double shit. There was no getting out of this next conversation. Ruth had seen the all so apparent color shift in the apples of her cheeks.
“Nothing Ruth! H-he’s just a nice g-guy… a g-gentleman actually.” The look and mile high eyebrow raise on Ruth’s face told Sam that she needed to elaborate.
“Ruth I can’t explain it! He’s supportive, well spoken, very tall, seemingly has all the right words to say at every damn moment without a single thought or stutter. It's maddening how perfect he is! Not to mention being totally being out of my league.” Sam spoke so quickly that she blurted her thought out with a single breath, as if she had spoken one giant run on sentence! Ruth could tell there was sadness in how she said her words - yet seemingly offset by a tinge of excitement. If she hadn't known Sam as intimately as she did, she would have missed the excited undertone. Ruth had the gift of listening. Always managing to hear the actual meaning of what was said, not just taking Sam's words for face value.
“Sam you realize not all guys are the same. I’ve been through my fair share of failed relationships until I met your brother. It’s ok to move on and make yourself happy.” Good intentions filled Ruth’s voice as she spoke to Sam. Just how was Ruth always able to hear her subconscious?
“Ruth I’m just not ok with moving on. Link had a point. I’m a child who plays dress up for work. I can’t drive. My health makes it difficult to speak up during meetings with clients. I’m just not physically fit for this lifestyle. That ass hole ruined every dream I ever had to develop another video game. Every time I open a game, he’s the only thing that I see.” And with a deep sigh, the truth was finally said aloud. Hearing it spoken gave the room an odd aura. The words had haunted Sam since that day, replaying over and over again. Now, instead of being stuck in her head, the words hung in the air, thick, humid, and suffocating. The once warm and glowing white apartment darkened and somehow took on a cool toned color shift. When had Sam become this comfortable to speak her mind? These were thoughts only captivated and in-prisoned by Sam's emotions. Was this progress? Was this how people "get over it" ?
“Sam, that's part of the process. But you can’t continue to suppress yourself just because…” Realizing the hurtfulness of her next words, Ruth froze.
“...because I got my baby heart broken by a childhood romance? Yes I realize the ridiculousness of it all. But he took more than just me, he took my dreams and aspirations along with it. That’s what stings the most. I don’t know how to forgive him, or myself.” The quietness in the room made for an awkward stillness in the air. Deciding to move the conversation forward, Ruth changed the subject.
“So this new manager of yours. Is he cute?” The question had broken the icy silence between them, as Sam was struck with the realization of just how attractive Charles is. Sam imagined the tall probably 6’2 man. Slender with an athletic build, complete with a fair bit of muscle tone. His stature seemingly shown off by the posture he carried himself with. Shoulders back, head always up and looking forward. The thought of Sam carrying herself in a similar manner ended in a giggle, as she knew her lack of looking down would surely result in her tripping and falling head first into the floor. Klutz.
“I mean… He’s certainly easy on the eyes!” Sam admitted to Ruth as they finished their final slices of pizza. Those eyes. Sam pictures the shade of blue. Similar to the photos she had seen of the Caribbean Ocean, or a himalayan cat! That gorgeous shade of blue. The softness of his expression often gave her a false sense of security…
“As long as he’s able to take on some of the pressure you’re under. I’m thrilled you found someone that isn’t only qualified, but nice to look at. I, of all people, understand how when the work day turns to shit; the one nice thing is having a smoke show of a man to look at to ease some of your frustrations!” Ruth smirked a wildly mischievous smile. Hinting to the obvious way she felt about Sam's brother.
“Ruth that’s my brother you’re talking about!” Sam laughed.
“And what a wonderful specimen he is too!!!” Ruth licked her lips in carnal delight as the image of Sam’s tall, masculine, muscle riddle brother came back into the conversation. The sheer size of her brother still baffled even Sam.
The two giggled their way through cleaning up the leftover remains of pizza. Both ladies stuffed and unable to think about moving themselves in any form snuggled into the sectional, draping themselves in enough blankets to build an ultimate fort, and began watching a Disney movie they both had seen countless times. Even still, this time just as wondrously romantic and timeless as ever.
“Sam you really do have the most comfortable couch in the world. I could stay here forever.” Sam loved her couch. She had spent a hefty sum on the thing. But it was completely worth every penny. The plushness of the alternative down feathers that filled the couch made for a cloud like comfort.
“You are more than welcome to stay on my couch as long as you want, whenever you want.” Sam smiled at the content look that fell on Ruth’s face. A surge of jealousy tinged at Sam’s gut. Her future sister in law had everything. The PhD, the hunky future husband, the cushiony dream job. The lack of pain and brokeness. The confidence. All the things that Sam would never have. All the same, she was happy for the girl with whom she was sharing her couch.
The end credits rolled as both Sam and Ruth regained full consciousness from their half sleep, half awake state. They would usually go for their Saturday walk at the local park. Sam wasn’t sure if she could handle walking today, after being still so tired from yesterday’s asthma attack. Why did those attacks have to take so much from her?
“Feel up for a walk, Sam? Or think we should skip the walk for today?” Ruth knew their routine, but didn’t want to push Sam.
“A walk might be nice actually. We just may need to take it slow.” They ventured down the stairs of her apartment. As they were making their way down the final flight of stairs, Sam had to take a break and took a few deep breaths.
“I’m fine Ruth, just had to catch my breath for a second. Let’s go!” Just as she had stopped and propped her body up against the railing, Sam heard a familiar laugh coming from the front of the apartment complex moving closer towards her. Her shaggy haired friend from next door gave her a beaming smile.
“H-hey Sam. Haven’t seen you much this week. Everything ok?” Marshall’s typical puppy dog eyes and kind personality got the better of Sam. But she wasn’t alone, she must maintain composure. Sam wasn’t sure she could handle any more of Ruth’s suspicions.
“Hey Marshall. This is my future sister in law Ruth. Ruth this is Marshall, he just moved in next door.” Sam tried to avoid his question, but could see the concern in his face still. After a momentary pause, she decided to give in and answer his question.
“I’ve been better. Busy week is all. How have your live streams and review’s been going?” Sam looked towards her feet, avoiding Marshall’s eyes. Marshall quickly spoke of various RPG games and other odds and ends he was getting himself into on his new Viewtube career. Once finished, he hesitantly began saying his goodbyes.
“Well... If I can help, let me know.” The ease of his response startled her a bit. Why would he help her? He didn’t like her, did he?
“I’ve got lots of support around me Marshall, I’ll be fine. I appreciate the offer though. Besides, you have your own dreams to go after, don’t let me get in the way of that!” She offered a smile. Sincere, but a sorry excuse none the less. Marshall shook hands with Ruth as they exchanged words, Sam not upset the opportunity provided for the lengthened break from her stair struggles.
“Where are you ladies off to?” Marshall asked in a sly voice, almost giving Sam the notion he wanted an invitation. He must be lonely. Ruth responded before Sam could interject...
“We’re heading to the park for a walk. Would you like to join?” Marshall's eyes and whole body practically jumped in the air at the opportunity. Sam let out a small chuckle at his delight.
“DO I?!? Give me a second! I’ll run upstairs and grab a different pair of shoes.” Marshall had barely gotten the sentence out as his voice trailed behind him, his long legs skipping stairs as he trotted up to his apartment.
Sam waited for the obvious next question from Ruth.
“OK. Come clean. He’s clearly into you.”
“I helped him fix a game the other night. It was nothing! He was in the middle of recording a review and the game stopped saving. I could hear the poor guy through the wall. I knew exactly what was happening, so I walked over and asked if he needed help.”
“Aaaaaaand…” Her lovestruck sister in law poked her with a hot iron rod, as if to uncover the smoldering embers. Don’t look at me like that Ruth, I can’t lie to you.
“Ruth.” Sam nodded her head and tried to throw Ruth off her game, hoping Ruth would take pity at her puppy dog eyes.
“Spill it sister.” With Ruth’s arms crossed, Sam new she had to come up with some excuse.
“He bought us pizza as I worked, we talked, and said good night.” Hoping the short and to the point answer would suffice for the moment.
“By the way he looked at you, I don’t fully believe in your innocence. I th-...” The universe must have heard Sam’s pleas for help, because at that moment Ruth was cut off by the bounding in of Marshall.
“Let’s go ladies!” Holding out both arms for either girl to grasp. The kid knew what he was doing. Flirtatious show off.
He escorted the two down the hall and across the street. Finally they came to a park sign “Mahaffie Public Park”. The dog park was to their left. They would typically walk the shorter quarter mile loop around the large man made pond twice.
“Hey you ladies mind if I go ahead and get my run in?” Marshall had on jogger pants with a sweatshirt to match.
“Go for it Marshall, I’ll count how many times you lap us!” Her response sounded surprisingly flirty. Ruth looked over her eyes saying, ‘ Ok girl. Work!’
“It’s a challenge then?” He was flirting back with her, hoping she’d catch on.
“You’re on Marshall. Ruth and I can only do two laps today, my asthma can’t take much more. The one lap is a 1/4 mile. I'm moving a bit slower today, and when we take our time it usually takes us 8 minutes or so to make two laps. Got it?” All games needed rules. He listened intently as she set them for him. She almost laughed as he playfully pretend to jog in place as if he was running the Boston marathon! Listening to the dogs cheerfully yap at each other, it dawned on Sam that Marshall would have definitely been some type of black lab mutt in another life time.
“I’ll call out your lap number each time you lap us. Your 8 minutes is on the clock. GO!” Not needing anything else, Marshall took off! Flying around the pond. Music in his ear, wind to his back. He was fast.
“Throw that dog a bone Sam. He’s a nice guy! Super funny and adorable.”
“Nice guy or not, I’m not interested in finding anyone. We've already had this conversation.”
“You may not be interested in finding men, but they’re sure interested in finding you. That boy just practically dropped everything to show off for you. The least you could do is stroke his ego a bit. That’s not too much to ask, is it?” If only she could tell Ruth his ego wasn't necessarily the only thing she wanted to stroke again...but she didn't dare! Knowing what conversational chaos would ensue!
“I’m not going to be stroking anything of his…” She laughed out.
“Now where’s the fun in that girl. Get out, get on, and get off! You need some love in your life.” Ruth shimmied her shoulders a bit in a feminine flirty way.
“ONE!” Sam called out to Marshall as he soared right by them, the wind from his body moving Sam’s hair. The smell of his cologne making its way to her nose. She thought about the night she fixed his game. Smiling.
“I saw that smile. You do like him.” Ruth was teasing her now.
“Ok. I admit it. He does make me laugh. He’s like that labrador retriever that you can’t help but find cute and adorable. His bounciness. Those soft brown eyes. His shaggy hair!” A small beat skipped within her as she heard what she was saying.
“Then humor him. Just because you go on a date, doesn’t mean it's serious. Dating is just a way to get to know someone. Who knows, lightning may strike! CRASSSHHHHH!” Ruth was jumping around like a maniac, pretending she possessed the power to summon lightning as if she was the all mighty God Zeus!
“Ruth you’re insane! We're in public, calm down a little, will ya?” She bellows a outward belly laugh at the sight of her jumps! “TWO MARSHALL!!!” Sam shook her head, unsure as to whether the head shake was for Ruth or Marshall. Sam and Ruth had made it to the halfway point of their walk. In the distance she could see the dog park start to fill up. Maybe she would get a dog instead of a man. That’s it! She would become the Dog Woman of Mahaffie! She liked the idea.
The girls walked in silence for a fair bit till the flash of a shaggy haired Marshall whizzed by, startling their thoughts.
“Hey slacker that’s three! Keep up!” Sam heard Marshall call out, a bit winded, with just the faintest sound of heavier, exercise induced breathing.
Nearing the end of their walk, Sam looked over at the dogs running and playing. As she was walking by the fence, an adorably potato shaped black and white terrier type dog pranced up to her and trotted along side with Sam. He was following her! Sam almost couldn’t contain her excitement. The dog seemed to be joining her on her walk.
"Sam looks like you need a dog!" Ruth mentioned as they watched the dog follow them down the stretch of the fence line. “Bowser!” A voice called in the distance. The dog looked away and then back at Sam. Sam could see the turmoil all dogs must face in that moment of solace. ‘To listen or not to listen…’ was the all too apparent expression on the dog's face. She laughed at herself.
“Sam I think that dog wants you to follow him.” Ruth said. The dog jumped on the fence exposing his bare belly in all its pudge glory. Sam mustered the courage to walk up to the fence to see the dog that appeared to be all but inviting her to say hello. As she was reaching her small fingers through the fence to pet the dog, she heard the call again.
“Bowser!” This time, Sam recognized the voice. Accented and clear. It was Charles!
“Ruth quick we need to go!” Sam seemed panicked, her heart raced and fluttered. She didn't want to face the man that saved her life just last night... No sooner did she hear the inevitable…
“Ms. Young?” She was caught. And Ruth sat relishing in the notion of another male suitor situation! Quite the wing woman she was.
“Ms. Young. How are you feeling? You are out and walking today! Today is a beautiful day to get some fresh air. However, I would have imagined you need a day of rest.” The welshman had caught her.
“H-hi Charles. Is this your dog? He’s so adorable.” Sam only barely and briefly met eye contact the man.
“Haha. Yes this is Bowser. He is a fellow welshman like myself. Although a bit of a mutt, he is a welsh corgi boston terrier mix. Quite the affinity for popcorn I am afraid, hence the plumpness of his figure.” The two laughed as the dog pranced to the gate of the dog park. The pup's moment ago unwillingness to leave made Charles wonder why the dog had made a complete change of heart.
“Give me a moment and I will come say hello.” The welshman walked to the gate, attached the leash to the ever proud pup, and they were free to make their way over.
Ruth whispered to Sam, "Ugh, Sam. How does he know about your asthma attack? And MY GOD why and where have you been hiding this one?!?" Sam swallowed the little bit of confidence she had remaining and mentally prepared for Ruth's... well whatever Ruth was about to do.
“Now that is better.” As he got within handshaking distance.
“Let me introduce myself. I am Charles Jones.” He said without a hesitation to his voice, hand extended out towards Ruth.
“I’m Ruth. I’m Sam’s future sister in law.” It amazed Sam at how proud Ruth always sounded when she had the opportunity to tell anyone who would listen that they were going to be sisters.
“Lucky girl you are. In the short time I have had the pleasure of getting to know Samara, I have to admit, she is quite the woman.” Charles’ charm was working wonders on Ruth, as a tinge of pink graced both of their cheeks.
“FOUR! Not my personal best, but it’s been a while. Total time S-..” Marshall had made his final lap and had reached the two ladies again, accompanied now by a... man?
“Sam... who is this? Is he bothering you?!” There was a slight protective quality in the tone of Marshall’s voice. Sam had to do damage control quickly. She could tell Marshall was immediately on edge.
“Marshall meet Charles. He is my new general manager at the company. Charles this is Marshall, he is my new next door neighbor. Ruth and I were on our way for our Saturday walk when we ran into Marshall and invited him to tag along.” Sam tried to explain the trio in as few words as possible, hoping Charles would catch on.
“Nice to meet you.” That was that moment that Marshall saw Bowser. Leaping into action without thinking, Marshall dove for the dog. To both of their dissatisfaction, Marshall missed as Bowser made a beeline to hide behind Sam.
Bowser continued to hide behind Sam. Marshall stood up mustering the last bit of confidence he had left. Noticing the way that Sam’s behavior seemed to change when Charles was there. Did she like him? He decided to do what he thought all single men in his situation would do.
“I didn’t think it was gonna be so hot today. Is it just me?” No sooner was he able to get the last few words out and the sweatshirt was off! Exposing an array of washboard abs that would make all women melt. Ruth let out a quiet ‘Oh my’. Sam's face broke out in an array of red, blushing tones. Everyone wondering who was going to step up for damage control. Luckily, the ever poised Charles took over managing the situation.
“I see.” Charles mustered unenthusiastically and very unimpressed by Marshall’s behavior. Amused by the attempt to dominate the situation, Charles somehow admired Marshall's 'go away' message. A nagging question loomed at the forefront in Charles' mind, 'Why was her neighbor being so protective?'. Only a man who was romantically involved with someone would go out of their way to carry out such a display. The whole situation weighed Charles down. Was he getting his hopes up, again? Just when he thought he had figured her out. Just when he thought she might just be interested in him. The sideway office glances. The countless blushes he had witnessed. Just last night she was in his arms - though not necessarily by choice. Had his mind made it all up? He looked to Samara to try and gain a better read on the situation. He was struck down even further. The look of terror on Sam's face drove Charles mad. She was surely afraid of an impending duel between suitors; he could not abide by that. He knew he would need to behave himself and settle things in a professional manner, for her sake.
“I should be on my way. It was a pleasure to meet you Ms. Ruth. Congratulations on the engagement. I am glad Samara has someone such as yourself.” He turned to look at Sam and gave that heart stopping smile. He looked really great today, in casual clothes. His hair was longer than she thought. The blonde locks still managed to sit perfectly atop his head, even without the gel. She decided she preferred the natural look of Charles' hair over the professional gelled version he wore to work. He had on dark blue skinny jeans with a v-neck black t-shirt and a pair of black chucks. She would never have taken him to be a chucks type of guy, but yet there they were on his feet.
Before he could leave, Ruth would be sure to lay claim to this situation. "Sam lets you call her by her full name. That's quite an honor Charles. I don't know a single person she allows to call her by that name. You must be special." Sam jabbed her elbow into Ruth. What was this woman doing! GAH!
"Think nothing of it Ms. Ruth. I am not fond of the name Sam, and it would appear Ms. Young is not fond of being called Ms. Young. So a compromise we have made." He quite like this Ruth character. Charles tipped his head to the ladies and called for Bowser, who was still happily sitting by Sam's feet. The poor dog torn by the impending decision to leave Sam's side or go home with his dad... Charles called Bowser one final time. Sam laughed as Bowser looked back and forth once again between the two as if to say, "But can't she come home with us this time?"
"Bowser, you must come along. She cannot come home with us...yet." At the word 'yet' Marshall shot Charles a glare upon glares. If Marshall had his way, she would never go home with him, ever. Sam noticed a slight sneer emit from Charles as he walked by Marshall; still unclothed and flexing the last bit of male dominance he had left.
“I’m gonna need a couple more laps now Sam. I’ll, ummmm, I’ll catch up with you later!” Marshall jogged off slightly proud, slightly embarrassed; hoping he hadn’t ruined his chances like he always did. Why was he so awkward? Someone with his hot blooded nature should be a chick magnet. Yet the polarity of his magnet always seemed to be the wrong end.
The two girls walked back to Sam’s apartment. When Ruth was the first to break silence.
"Ok... You gonna finally tell me the truth now?" Sam looked down and knew she had been caught. She couldn't lie to Ruth. So, she opened herself up. She told Ruth about the impulsive night she slept with Marshall after fixing his game, the on and off flirtatious behavior her and Charles shared with each other, and the remaining brokeness that she felt lingering from Link; keeping her from fully taking part in either man.
"I'm not worthy Ruth. I'm not good enough for either of them. Why would either of them be interested in me? I'm weak. I have health issues. And I'm still broken inside." She felt her throat buckle a bit, sensing a warm sensation within her eyes.
"Oh Sam." Ruth lifted a hand to Sam's face, wiping the tear and turning Sam's face towards her own; bringing Sam's eyes to hers. "I hope you will one day be able to see yourself the way we all see you!" And with that one line, Sam felt a different warmth. Not in her stomach. Not in her eyes. But in her chest. Realizing the love her new sister-in-law so shamelessly gave her, resonated differently within Sam. A part of Sam wanted to say, 'Don't look at me like that Ruth... I don't know how to fix myself yet, but I'm trying'.
But all she managed to say was, "You're truly wonderful Ruth. Thank you." Her Love, large and in charge, appeared holding a first-aid kit, ready to begin mending Sam's heart. Unbeknownst to Sam what was happening within her.
The ladies said their goodbyes, and Sam was left alone, again. What was happening to her? It was like she was stuck in some cheesy rom com. She sat down on her couch. What would she do without this thing? As she stretched out on the couch, she thought of the two men that had come into her life. Both managing to make waves for her. She realized at that moment, a part of her truly did like them. The realization becoming ever present. The realization that she could be falling for them, but which one? Sam allowed herself to be engulfed by the incredible coziness of her couch. For she would need to rest for the storm surge that she thought could potentially lay ahead.
Her phone buzzed as it lay on the coffee table, just out of reach. She ignored the initial buzz, until she heard a second buzz resonate through the apartment.