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If the greeks weren’t currently being misogynistic assholes theorising about how poisonous period blood really is, they’d actually write quite interesting pieces on things that confuse humanity to this day.
Plato, for example, with the “Symposium” in which the myth of soulmates is told by the playwright Aristophanes,in praise of Eros. There, Humans are said to have been made as one creature, with four legs and arms and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus is told to have split them in two, dooming them to a life spent searching for their other half.
Donghyuck has taken a course in ancient greek mythology, and this is basically the one thing that stuck with him. Another person being literally destined to be a perfect fit for you, your half of the whole. It sounds beautiful. Like one of the few things in life that just stun you. That have your breath catching halfway out of your lungs, just to all come out in one awe-filled huff. That make your heart soar deep up into the skies and send a shiver of goosebumps all over your body.
And Donghyuck honestly thought he’d done it. He was so sure, so sure that he had found his other half, his soulmate. Unfortunately, life, fate, God, whoever is in charge of everything that happens to us, out of our control, doesn’t think so.
Because his girlfriend just told him that she’s not in love with him anymore. That’s just something that happens. In life, in love.
So here he is, stuffing chips into his mouth on cooldown, trying very hard to watch a movie, but that’s just pretty damn impossible when there’s ringing in your ears, tears clouding your eyes again and again and a clusterfuck of thoughts on your mind.
He really hates Plato in this moment, hates Aristophanes, hates Eros and hates himself for majoring in history to begin with. What sane person does that?
Already has he tried to contact his fucking friends, but who would be awake at 4:30 am? Correct! No one. Because his friends actually have lives, or at least care about theirs. Donghyuck groans loudly, because, what the hell.
He sounds like an edgy 15-year-old. “Okay, Donghyuck, get your fucking ass up. You’re better than this.” He tells himself, hitting his cheeks in a loud Slap! for good measure, and gets up to take a shower. At 4:30 am. His neighbours will probably hate him, but it’s whatever, really.
The thing is, of course he can be sad about heartbreak. He’d been dating his girlfriend for three years by now, and suddenly being told that that’s over now, for reasons outside of his control, was and is crushing. It would be for anyone. But being sad, being crushed, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your hardest to accept it and move on. What really is life, if not a constant of getting hurt and getting over it?
Nothing comes without its price, and Donghyuck knows that. He’ll take temporary happiness for a broken heart any day, too.
The thought makes him smile, as warm water streams over his cold and tired body, making goosebumps rise all over. It feels like a warm hug, sort of, and he can’t help his eyes getting droopy. So, he finishes his shower quicker than intended, and heads off to bed. Tomorrow and the days after will be better, he’s sure of it.
Two weeks of the single life, and Donghyuck can safely say he’s already tired of it.
Possibly because hanging out almost every day for two weeks straight with his Very Obviously In Love best friends keeps reminding him of what he doesn’t have anymore. Possibly.
Rescue comes in the form of one Mark Lee. “Other” best friend, a.k.a not disgustingly in love with someone, and childhood voice of reason turned troublemaker of Donghyucks life.
“So,” he begins, the grin on his face already signalling ‘trouble’ from miles away, “there’s this party at Jungwoo’s place this weekend, and I heard from a little birdie that he specifically wants to see you , Donghyuck, there.”
Donghyuck has no fucking clue why people liken Mark to a puppy, or big cat cubs. This guy is a fox through and through.
“A party at Jungwoo’s, you say?” He indulges anyway, because what does he have to lose? A fun night out with friends?
“Yes! Saturday at 6, I’ll pick you up!” Mark’s smile is almost blinding, and Donghyuck almost doesn’t regret saying yes— “Dress up, by the way. It’s basically a dick appointment.”
History books make a wonderful weapon.
Saturday comes faster than Donghyuck would’ve liked and rationally, yes, of course he knows he doesn’t have to dress up and look good because he’s almost 99.9% sure nothing’s gonna happen.
But 0.01% can be impossibly loud in his brain.
He finds himself facetiming Jaemin, who himself is basically dressing up for a dick appointment, except he doesn’t actually have to dress up and the appointment is just his boyfriend Renjun telling him to douche for tonight, who’s also on call with them. Envy strikes in the most awful moments, Donghyuck thinks as he looks at their lovesick bickering.
“So, guys, what the fuck do I wear? Like, do I wear my comfy cargo pants or these tight bitches of black jeans?” He interferes loudly, and God does he wish he hadn’t. Now they’re bickering over which pants to pick.
This is hell. This is his punishment for considering a hook-up. Thanks, God, my buddy.
There’s a loud yell on the other end and suddenly the phone is in Mark’s hands, and the bickering of the two others fades into the background (a bit, at least. They’re very loud. And opinionated.)
“I think the black jeans are dope as fuck, but you look nervous as fuck Hyuckie, so maybe go for comfort.” Mark’s voice sorta feels like how breathing techniques feel to surges of anxiety, or how music feels when everything’s a bit too much. Calm floods Donghyuck’s body immediately.
“You’re right. At the end of the day I just wanna have some fun, right?” He replies, a nervous chuckle still making its way out of his mouth and Mark sighs loudly on the other end. “Your fun never has to come at the cost of your comfort, dude. Don’t feel pressured, alright?”
Donghyuck nods, Mark smiles, and for a moment life feels light.
“Did he choose something other than pants already? You’re supposed to pick him up in twenty!” Renjun’s voice filters through quietly and Donghyuck drops the phone in terror.
“Twenty minutes? What the Fuck?” He yells to no one but himself really, and starts rushing through his apartment. Fuck styling, he thinks, and settles on a simple middle part for his hair, while literally just picking a plain white shirt and his favourite jeans jacket to wear with the pants. Mark’s right, his fun should definitely not come at the cost of his comfort, and Donghyuck finds comfort in being punctual.
Assignment anxiety, he likes to call it. An eternal fear of being too late for something, so you always finish it at least a day early and keep checking the time even though you know you’re not late.
Besides the point, though.
Mark, much like Donghyuck for once, is also one for punctuality and so they find themselves in front of Jungwoo’s house at 6:30 sharp. He’s nervous. He really is. Donghyuck’s hands are terribly sweaty and the urge to grab onto Mark’s in support is almost unbearable.
Really looking at Mark for the first time since he got into the other’s car is not helpful, at all, either. He’s dressed up, a lot. The jeans he’s wearing look so terribly tight that Donghyuck deems them torture instruments right then and there.
For Mark, or for anyone that looks at him, including Donghyuck? That answer lives and dies between him and God only.
The printed shirt stretching over and accentuating the older’s shoulders and arms in combination with the jewelry he’s picked out remind Donghyuck of how into boys he actually is. Don’t get him wrong, he’s not thirsting over his friend (totally is), he’s just appreciating his friend’s attractiveness (that he is).
“Ready?” Mark’s voice rips him out of his thought and Donghyuck can’t do much other than give a tight-lipped nod.
The party is already going wild as they enter and they both have cups filled with beer pushed into their hands almost immediately. There’s many people, but not enough for it to be a constant uncomfortable drag of bodies. The music is just the right volume for your ears to surely be useless for a few minutes once you’re back outside, but that's the beauty in the after effect of parties.
If your ears aren’t kinda broken and your voice still works perfectly, you didn’t do it right. Donghyuck knows as much.
As the two of them try and progress into the living room there's many people both of them know and before Donghyuck can really orientate himself he’s lost Mark but gained five people from his major with whom he’s had classes with. They’re nice people, of course, but he’s not quite drunk enough for so much smalltalk. The kitchen is his next stop, both because he suspects at least one of his friends to be there and because he really needs something other than beer.
Sometimes friends do disappoint and act against their usual nature though, so Donghyuck stands alone in a kitchen full of alcohol. Worst moment for all his friends to suddenly decide that the kitchen just isn’t the hotspot anymore, really. He grumbles about it all as much, about how his friends are definitely traitors, when a hand is placed on his shoulder and oh—
Donghyuck was prepared for a lot of things tonight, courtesy of the 0.01%, but standing in front of Jungwoo so early into the night and for said boy to not conceal his checking out of Donghyucks body, no, Outfit, is something he wasn’t exactly prepared for.
“I’m happy to see you here, Donghyuck!” Jungwoo’s voice is as sweet as it is mischievous, and the younger can’t help but chuckle in response.
“I’m glad to be here! Thanks for specifically inviting me, by the way. Wouldn’t have thought you wanted me here that badly.” He replies, partially because he’s not thinking and partially because 0.01% can be so so loud again. He’s met with what one could only interpret as a flirty laugh, and another touch to his shoulder, and that's just how things fly between them, then.
Flirting is easy and, admittedly, it’s tons of fun. Having one person’s full and undivided attention on you, having them put in thought and effort to their words and actions, all to impress you? That’s a good fucking feeling.
They keep talking for what feels like hours and he’s not sure if it’s the alcohol he’s been drinking more of, or if it’s really all in Jungwoo’s touches and words, but Donghyuck feels a little lightheaded. Maybe it’s for that reason that Donghyuck doesn’t notice Jungwoo getting closer, or the hand travelling up to his nape, but suddenly he feels the other’s breath on his lips and his first instinct is to jump back.
Now, he knows that looks bad, but really his priority lies in the fact that he jumped back so hard, he hit his fucking head on a kitchen cabinet.
A Fucking Kitchen Cabinet.
This is how he’ll die, Donghyuck is sure. In embarrassment and humiliation.
Someone helps him up and he’s so prepared to apologize profusely to Jungwoo about how he really didn’t mean to jump back so hard, he’s really fucking sorry, he hopes that nothing’s broken — but he’s met with Mark’s face.
And the fucker is definitely trying hard not to laugh.
But Donghyuck does register some words like “sorry” and “home” and “ice” and soon he’s sitting in Mark’s car again with an ice pack on his head.
“No but, seriously, your head is so fucking solid I swear I heard that bonking noise from so far away.” Mark laughs so loud Donghyuck considers just throwing him out of his own car, but he owes his friend some.
He saved him from a very embarrassing experience and conversation after all. “Thanks, dude.” Donghyuck mumbles, and closes his eyes for a second.
He’s woken up again by Mark’s voice ordering them some burgers and for some reason, must be the alcohol still, his heart soars just a little bit when Mark giggles about how “no, please do not put pickles anywhere. I swear I’ll sue for emotional distress if I find any!”
Donghyuck sits up straighter in his seat and Mark’s head whips to him immediately. “Awake again, sleeping beauty?” He pipes up.
Alcohol and sleepiness are such powerful demons.
“Sleeping beauty? What, think I’m that pretty?” Donghyuck responds and he knows it sounds teasing, as it should. But the way Mark’s eyes widen for just a moment and his cheeks seem to gain just a tad bit of colour has the younger blinking in surprise.
Yet, somehow, he can’t just let that go.
They’re in the parking lot now, sitting in the back loading area of Mark’s truck and looking at the city in it’s nightly slumber.
It’s the hour of bizarreness, where things don’t seem real the way they do during the day. Maybe it's for that reason, for the silent voice in the back of his mind reassuring him that nothing is true, everything is permitted during this time of the day, that he asks.
“Do you really think I’m pretty?”
The sharp inhale is almost enough of an answer already, but the look in Mark’s eyes when Donghyuck meets his gaze does him in tenfold. He nods anyway.
“My turn now.” Mark says and it sounds so confident, yet his eyes travel back down to his burger, his fingers playing with the fabric of his jeans. “Would you have started again where you left off, had I not been there? You know, with Jungwoo and the—
Impulsiveness is a bad trait, his mum always told him. Think, then act. It’s a simple rule that almost everyone goes by. Humans pride themselves on their rationality, on their ability to keep their emotions out of the decisions they make on the daily. The “gut feeling” may be there, but a ton of people disregard it for nothing of significance.
And yet, there’s a reason we have a “gut feeling”. Our intestines are equipped with a nervous system almost as strong as that of our brain. What we think, but are too afraid to feel and suppress up there, we feel in our gut. It’s “instinct”. It’s our honest response to things we’d “rationally” filter out.
So really, that’s Donghyuck’s excuse for the quick kiss he plants on Mark’s cheek. It shuts the older up as if it had been an actual kiss, and Donghyuck almost laughs loudly at the shocked expression he’s making.
“I don’t know,” he says instead, “but I do know that I think you’re very pretty tonight, Mark. Any night, really. And day.” He’s sort of rambling, because Mark is still staring and his heart is going crazy in his chest because this is far too quick, far too much, but sometimes things just work that way.
“Can I kiss you?” Mark asks finally and that’s more so the cue for Donghyuck himself to dive in, than a question that needs an answer.
Because that’s also a thing about reality. Not every question needs an answer. Some things just work the way they do, and there’s no particular explanation to it.
So yeah, Donghyuck might have to think about all of this a lot later on, and they definitely need to have a conversation about it, but for now they’re in silent agreement of “kiss now, talk later.”
And talk they will.
About how really, they’re two inherently different people. Couldn’t be more unfitting for each other, in basically every aspect of life. And yet it works.
Because maybe, the greeks are just fucking overrated sometimes. If soulmates exist, they don’t need to be your perfect other half. Maybe there isn’t even a perfect other half to you, because nothing’s ever perfect, and no one’s ever really whole.
Most importantly though, not all things that work fit perfectly. And that’s okay. Imagine how boring life would be if everything was without flaws, and nothing was a challenge.
That's what makes it all real.