Chapter Text
Sam sat by the window on the plane, Jimmy in the seat right next to him. Sam leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Jess was dead and the police wanted to talk to him. What was he supposed to do? If they didn't know he was Sam Wesson, then there wouldn't be a problem with the police - or nothing that Prof. Randall couldn't deal with. If they found out he was Sam Wesson, though - God, he didn't know what he would do. Who the hell would believe that it was just a small part of Jimmy's delusions? And, isn't it just hilarious that THAT is such a SMALL thing compared to a lot of things in those books?
Jimmy looked at him, he was glad that Sam started calling him Cas once he was out of the hospital, and he wanted to express his gratitude, but he couldn't imagine what Sam was going through - losing the person he loved. Did Amelia know what that felt like when she lost Jimmy? And, while a part of him was happy that there was a reason for people to believe him, to see he wasn't delusional, now…did it have to come at such a cost? Out of all the things he could have been right about, why did it have to be that? Jess sounded like such a sweet young lady and he knew that Sam loved her. And, it was just so odd that anytime he thought about that, he felt - he wasn't sure what the best word was to describe the feeling but maybe - jealous? Why would he be jealous of Jess, though? He wanted Sam happy and - okay, he hadn't realized he had actually growled until Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows.
After landing, Jimmy kept his head down and followed Sam and Sam wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't really been out in public for almost eight years or if it was because he looked like a mental ward escapee. If he had actually thought any of his clothes would've fit Jimmy, he would've offered.
Sam led Jimmy out of the airport and over to a classic car that had Jimmy asking one word - name, 'Dean?'
Sam laughed. 'Yeah, he's a mechanic but he also restores classic cars, and due to his opinion that his baby brother needed something to drive that didn't just get him from point A to point B, I ended up with this.' Sam explained.
'I've seen pictures of Baby, and this can't be an Impala. So, what is it?' Jimmy asked curiously.
''64 Plymouth Barracuda.' Sam replied.
'Did you name it?' Jimmy asked smiling and watching the car with an interest he really couldn't have named.
Sam laughed again, shaking his head. 'I'm not Dean, Cas'.
Jimmy tilted his head slightly and got a look on his face that Sam considered to be his 'processing, please stand by' look.
Sam waited patiently for several seconds.
'I don't understand, Samuel.' Jimmy said in a tone that, for Sam, would normally mean Jimmy was about to be led out of the room and Sam would have to come back the next day because Jimmy was 'slipping further into his delusions'. Only, Jimmy wasn't in the hospital anymore, so he wasn't being taken anywhere.
'It just means that just because Dean would do something doesn't mean I would.' Sam explained.
Jimmy lowered his head and got into the passengers seat after Sam put the luggage in the truck and slipped in behind the wheel.
As Sam drove, he asked, 'Do you know how to drive?'
Jimmy got that 'processing, please stand by' look, again. It was several seconds later that he finally replied. 'Jimmy knew how, I don't know if I do or not.'
'Oh, Sam - what did you get yourself into?' Sam thought to himself.
Sam stopped at the police station. 'Just stay here, if I'm not out in an hour call Professor Randall. And, if I end up being charged, call Dean.' Sam said before handing Jimmy his phone and then getting out of the car. 'Oh! Dean is listed under Jerk in my contacts.' Sam explained before tossing his keys to him.
Jimmy watched as Sam walked into the police station. He wanted to go in with Sam but he knew that being followed by someone looking like an escaped mental patient wouldn't help…even if that mental patient was the one that told him about Jess' death almost two years prior to it happening. The police would never believe him and would just have him re-committed. Now, where did Sam put his music? Zeppelin sounded like a good idea.
Sam walked up to the reception desk and the male officer asked, 'Can I help you?'
Sam tilted his head to the left. 'Name's Sam Winchester, I think you wanted to talk to me.' He said calmly.
He didn't have anywhere near the run-ins with the police that Dean did, but Sam always loved it when he could catch an officer off-guard. He didn't really like police but he did have a healthy respect for them.
It was several minutes and a couple officers getting personal information later before Sam was led to an interview room.
Sam sat in the room with an officer who had a build closer to Benny's and another who had a lanky build, both were men. 'State your name for the record.' The lanky one, Jacobs said.
'Samuel Winchester.' Sam said.
'Do you know why you're here?' Jacobs asked.
'My girlfriend Jess is dead and my apartment burned.' Sam said. He knew he sounded detached but it was a trait he had picked up from Professor Randall, a trait required for being a successful lawyer - it was the balance between detachment and attachment that Sam hadn't found yet, though.
'And, why were you not on campus?' Jacobs asked.
'Sir, my apartment isn't on campus to begin with.' Sam pointed out. 'Even if I had been in the apartment, I still wouldn't have been on campus.' Okay, so he was a bit snide but it was mistake to many people made and he was tired of it.
'Why had you left after school Friday?' Jacobs asked.
Sam took a deep breath. 'Shit! I need to keep Jimmy out of this but I need to explain where I was.' Sam thought to himself and sighed. 'A little over a week prior to that - it was Wednesday - so, close to a week and a half, I received a call from Amelia - Amelia Novak who is the wife of Jimmy - James Novak. Jimmy is someone I know from Pontiac - Pontiac, Illinois - and who for the past several years has been a patient at Pontiac Psychiatric Center. Amelia called after Jimmy cut his neck deep - he's not suicidal so much as delusional, but they don't see the difference. Me and a professor at Stanford had been working at getting him out - I know it might not seem like the best option but I haven't thought he needed to be in there since I found out he'd been committed…he just - he NEEDS someone to listen and I think if people would, even if they didn't necessarily believe him, he would be more stable. I know it's messed up, but that's just what I believe. I told Amelia about what the professor and I had been working on and she was more then happy to be rid of the problems Jimmy has caused her. Jimmy's delusions include not recognizing her as his wife or his own daughter as his daughter. In his defense though, he's been in the center most of his daughter's life. I made plans and purchased the round-trip ticket to get me to Pontiac and called my brothers husband, Benny, and got the money from him for a ticket back here from Pontiac for Jimmy.' Sam explained.
'What's your brother and his husbands name and where do they live?' Jacobs asked.
'Dean Winchester-Lafitte is my brother, his husbands name is Benjamin Lafitte, but everyone just calls him Benny. They live in New Orleans.' Sam said.
'Benny Lafitte, the Creole chef?' asked the guy whose build was similar to Benny's, Montoya. He'd sounded surprised.
Sam closed his eyes and laughed humorlessly before reopening his eyes. 'The very same.' Sam said with an irritated smile. He'd grown to love his brother-in-law but there was always something that grated on him when people asked that question.
'Do you know a Sam Wesson?' Jacobs asked.
Sam bit his tongue, that was NOT a question he wanted to EVER have to answer! He didn't like people outside his family - and Jimmy and Amelia - knowing who he was. 'Of course, I do. Sam Wesson is the pen name I use to write the Hunter Brothers series because I'm trying to become a lawyer, not an author.' Sam answered honestly.
'Then, why did you write them?' Montoya asked.
How to explain that without involving Jimmy? 'Because, they make good stories.' Sam said.
'In the first book though, Julian's Harper's girlfriend died in an identical matter to the way Jessica Moore did, and that book was written two years prior to Jessica's death. So, you can see why it seems like you'd been planning this for awhile.' Jacobs pointed out.
'I hadn't even MET Jessica when that book was written. And, I was actually involved with Brady, at the time. If I was basing the story even loosely around my life, wouldn't I have been killing off a BOY-friend and NOT a GIRL-friend'? Sam asked pissed off.
'Isn't it true that you shot your father when you were a child?' Jacobs asked.
'It almost sounds like, while you might have written the books, they weren't originally your idea.' Montoya said uncertainly.
BOTH Jacobs question and Montoya's comment caught Sam off-guard. 'Yes, I did - in self-defense and in defense of my older brother, but yes, I did kill him.' Sam said. He wouldn't respond to Montoya's comment unless asked directly.
'Because he was abusive to both of you?' Jacobs asked.
Sam nodded. 'He normally didn't hurt Dean, just me.' Sam explained. 'But, when Dean would attempt to defend me, he would get the same thing I got.' Sam continued.
'Was the Hunter Brothers originally your idea?' Montoya asked.
'No'. Sam said.
'Whose idea was it?' Montoya asked.
Sam shook his head. 'No. I've answered everything else, but no.' Sam said defensively.
Jacobs and Montoya looked at each other. Sam knew it might have been a mistake to refuse to answer that but he'd involved Jimmy enough already.
'If the Hunter Brothers weren't originally your idea, why would you not want to tell us whose idea it was? We should be talking to them.' Montoya asked confused.
Sam lowered his head. Technically, Jimmy wasn't mentally competent to stand trial and the center had records for EVERYONE who Jimmy called or who called him - and they kept those records for years. But, if he was found mentally incompetent, would he be recommitted? He could get him out but it would just create a loop of trial and institutionalization. Huh? As Jimmy's legal guardian - damn, he hated that term - he could keep the police from interviewing him. That might lead into a fight between 'the state' and him but it was a fight he would willingly lead, too. 'It's part of the delusional world that Jimmy has built around my brother and myself.' Sam explained. It was the simplest way to explain it.
'They were Jimmy Novak's idea?' Jacobs asked in disbelief.
'They were Jimmy's delusions, putting them into book form and tweaking names was my idea.' Sam explained.
'Do you know where Mister Novak is?' Jacobs asked.
'In my car outside, but no, you're not talking to him.' Sam said defensively.
'He's an adult and -' Jacobs began.
'And, I'm his legal guardian. You can't talk to him unless I permit it and I'll be DAMNED if you go near him!' Sam interrupted by snapping.
Montoya got up and left the room and Sam began grinding his teeth.
Jimmy had his headphones on listening to Led Zeppelin, had his head leaned back on the seat, and had his eyes closed. He jumped when there was a knock on the window of his car door. Jimmy stopped the cassette, tugged his headphones down to around his neck, and then rolled down his window. 'Yes?' Jimmy asked.
'Are you Jimmy Novak?' Montoya asked.
Jimmy narrowed his eyes. 'I prefer Castiel or Cas.' Jimmy said.
'Could you step out of the vehicle?' Montoya asked.
'Samuel told me to stay here, so that's what I'm doing.' Jimmy said simply.
Jimmy could tell the officer was getting frustrated but he doubted it could be any worse then frustrating one of the nurses or doctors at the hospital - center - hellhole.
'Would you mind answering a question?' Montoya asked.
'I want Sam.' Jimmy said before tugging his headphones back up over his ears, hitting play on the cassette player, and looking out the front window.
Montoya went to grab the back of the headphones off Jimmy's head when Jimmy's right hand shot up catching Montoya's wrist in a very tight grip, his head snapped toward Montoya, and he said angrily, 'Touch me again, human and I'll your break damn wrist!'
Montoya took a startled step back, pulling his wrist in the process, 'What the fuck?' He asked surprised and slightly frightened. Jimmy released his wrist as Montoya took the step back causing Montoya to fall back on his ass. When Jimmy had spoken, his eyes had seemed to almost glow but when he released his grip, they'd returned to normal. 'Oh, there's no way I'm mentioning this to my superiors or else I'll be the one committed.' Montoya thought to himself.
Jimmy watched as Montoya stood up and walked rather quickly back into the police station. And, it confused him that Montoya had backed up simply due to a threat, he was a police officer, for Heaven's sake!
Sam was bouncing his knee by the time Montoya came back into the room. He said NOTHING to Jacobs after Montoya had left and he - Sam - was PISSED!
'Uh, Jimmy refused to say anything without you present, Mister Winchester.' Montoya said - still shaken.
'Why the hell were you talking to him? I already told you not to!' Sam asked angrily.
Jacobs looked at Montoya with an expectant look on his face.
When Montoya didn't respond, Sam snapped, 'I may not be a lawyer, yet - but I'm his guardian. You had no fucking right to talk to him without my consent!' Sam leaned forward, interlacing his fingers together under his chin. 'As a matter of fact, it wasn't legal. I'm sure Professor Randall would have a field day with this in court. You want to fuck with me, go ahead, you son of a bitch! But, you leave Jimmy the hell alone!' Sam could feel his anger continuing to rise but instead of saying something he MIGHT regret, he leaned back in his chair with a wicked smirk on his face.
Neither Jacobs nor Montoya responded to his outburst.
'So, since neither of you are going to speak, does that mean I can leave, now?' Sam asked impatiently.
'We don't actually have enough to arrest you, so - for the moment, you're free to go…just don't leave the state.' Jacobs said.
'I wasn't planning to leave the state even once the school year was over since Jimmy's here now and I need to finish Crossroads Deal before visiting Dean, Benny, and the kids.' Sam said.
'Kids?' Jacobs asked.
'Ben and Emma Lafitte, they're Dean's children - my nephew and niece, but Benny adopted them after they got married - so, they took Benny's last name.' Sam explained.
After Sam left the room, 'What were you thinking, Alex?' Jacobs asked concerned.
'Jimmy Novak is a very strange man.' Montoya - Alex - said, still shaken but refusing to elaborate anymore.
Jacobs was confused by the vague comment but decided not to press the matter. 'Was it just me or did Mister Winchester seem to have feelings for Mister Novak?' He asked.
'You saw that too, huh? I didn't interact with Mister Novak very long but I'd bet my next paycheck, the feelings mutual.' Alex said.
'You already owe me your next paycheck.' Jacobs said.
When Sam finally got to where his apartment was, he and Jimmy both got out of the car, and Sam just looked at the damage to the outside of the apartment complex. A lot of people considered it to be part of the campus but it wasn't, there's a deal in place between the owner and the campus for students who go to Stanford but don't want to live on campus - for example, those in 'serious' relationships - or in Sam's case, just isn't into the 'frat party' scene. It had eight apartments - three on the main level, four on the second, and one in the basement which was coincidentally where the washing machines and driers were. Sam had been designated the 'mole' of the complex because he lived in the basement next to the laundry room.
Jimmy looked at Sam but kept silent. He stuck his hands in his pockets, started rocking up on his toes back to his heels and repeatedly doing the motion - a habit he had picked up in the center when he was standing and waiting for the proverbial 'other shoe' to drop. Dear lord, he missed having NORMAL shoes!
Jimmy watched as Sam's eyes began to fill with tears - something he had been anticipating since he found out Jess had died. He really had no idea what to say to help the situation, if there was a way, so he continued to stay silent. He watched as the tears began to run down Sam's face, as his bottom lip began to tremble, and as he began mouthing 'Jess'. It wasn't the fact that Jimmy had been RIGHT about Jess dying, it was the fact that Jess died in an identical way to how Sam's mother Mary had that that bothered Jimmy. That had bothered Jimmy since Sam told him how his mother had died. He watched as Sam put his hand over his mouth and dropped to his knees, his shoulders starting to shake as he sobbed silently.
Jimmy knelt down in front of Sam and put his hands on Sam's shoulders. 'Samuel, I'm sorry. I am so sorry'. He said regretfully.
Sam looked at Jimmy and lowered his hand from his mouth. 'How did you know?' he choked out.
Jimmy shook his head. 'I don't know, Samuel. I've never known how I know these things, you KNOW that. I just know them. They're just there. And, you know not EVERYTHING I know is accurate.' Jimmy said regretfully.
Sam grabbed the front of Jimmy's shirt and twisted his left hand in the shirt. 'How did you know?' Sam asked angrily but with tears still in his eyes.
Jimmy shook his head. 'I don't know, Sam.' Jimmy said regretfully. 'I wish I did. I'd give anything to know how I knew, but I don't.' He added. He knew he should probably be scared, but he wasn't.
Sam stood up, pulling Jimmy with him. 'How did you know?' Sam repeated getting more and more aggravated.
'I don't know!' Jimmy stressed sadly.
'How did you know?' Sam shouted filled with rage before punching Jimmy, releasing his hold on his shirt at the same time.
Jimmy looked up at Sam from where he'd been knocked down. 'Sam?' He asked surprised and sad.
Sam kept repeating the question and punching Jimmy, and Jimmy didn't even fight back.
When Sam regained control of his temper, he was leaning over Jimmy with his arm pulled back and Jimmy was on his right side covering his face with his left hand. Sam stood up, dropping his arm to his side in the process. 'Jim-Cas?' He asked hesitantly.
Jimmy lowered his hand, looking at Sam out of the corner of his eye, or trying to since the vision is his left eye was blurry. Jimmy sat up slowly. 'We should leave.' Jimmy said. He knew it was a good thing that it was dark - it had been near sunset when the plane had landed.
Sam just blinked a few times. He knew that Jimmy wasn't a fighter, he'd gotten the shit knocked out of him enough times by some of the more violent patients at the center that Sam had figured that out, but he didn't even seem to care that Sam had hit him. 'Cas?' He asked sadly.
'Sam, we're out on a sidewalk, and you just hit me. The police already think you're involved in Jess' death, do you want to be arrested for assault?' Jimmy asked but Sam could tell that his voice was hollow.
'I hit you and yet, you're trying to protect me?' Sam thought drenched with guilt.
Jimmy stood up and followed Sam to the trunk of the car. Sam popped the trunk and took a hoodie out of his luggage, before closing the trunk back, and holding the hoodie out to him. Jimmy looked at it then Sam and repeated that action a few times.
'Put it on, hood up. It might not hide much but at least you won't look like an escaped mental patient that got their face busted up.' Sam said with a frown before shaking his head. 'You should be pissed at me! Why aren't you?' He thought to himself which was better then his first instinct to yell it at Jimmy.
Jimmy took the hoodie - with it saying 'Stanford' on it, he figured it was probably from Sam's college. He slipped it on, zipped it, and then flipped the hood up. It wouldn't conceal much but maybe just enough to not get people asking questions.
Sam drove while Jimmy just sat with his head down. Sam knew he needed to apologize. Yes, he wanted to know how Jimmy knew what he did but he knew that Jimmy didn't know, either. He'd just been so upset and he'd wanted someone to blame. So, why couldn't he just open his mouth and say it? 'I shouldn't have hit you, Jimmy. It's not your fault!' He thought to himself. So, why couldn't he say it?
Sam jumped slightly when Jimmy touched the knuckles on his right hand - the ones that are bloody due to hitting Jimmy. Jimmy brushed his thumb back and forth over Sam's knuckles. 'What's wrong with me?' Jimmy whispered.
'Nothing's WRONG with you, Jimmy.' Sam thought to himself, but he knew he wasn't expected to answer since Jimmy was talking to himself, so he didn't.
When Sam finally stopped in front a house, Jimmy looked at the small duplex, and asked, 'Where are we'?
'Professor Randall's house.' Sam said. When Jimmy didn't ask the obvious question, why - Sam explained anyways. 'I figure I can get him to let us spend the night and I can start looking for a place after classes tomorrow.' He wasn't about to mention that he had missed his Monday classes but he'd texted Professor Randall after the second flight delay. 'It's not completely ethical but I've done it before when we were working on getting you released. The only difference is that you're with me, this time.' Aw hell, he was broke and he wouldn't ask Benny for more money until he's paid him back what he already owed him!
Jimmy followed Sam up the three steps, staying slightly behind Sam with his head down. Sam pressed the doorbell and Jimmy thought about the 'doorbell' from the Munsters. He knew that Professor Randall despite being around Jimmy's age was fascinated by some of the older 'spooky comedy' series like the Munsters and the Addams Family. Personally, he only had vague recollections of both, he just remembered them being funny. If Lurch was the one to open the door though, he was thumbing it back to Pontiac.
When the door opened, a lady about 5'4", looking slightly younger than Jimmy answered. 'Aw, hello Sammy!' She greeted happily.
Sam nodded. 'Good evening, Justine.' Sam said.
Jimmy looked at Sam. 'Justine is Matthew's wife.' Sam explained without having to see the question on Jimmy's face. Jimmy knew that Matthew was Professor Randall's first name.
'Who's your friend?' Justine asked.
Sam nudged Jimmy slightly in the stomach. 'My name's Castiel, but you can call me Jimmy.' Jimmy said, not looking up.
'Aw yes, James Novak. I've heard about you.' Justine said. 'Would you two like to come in?' She asked curiously.
'Actually, I have a question for you and Matthew.' Sam said hesitantly.
'You need to spend the night?' Justine guessed.
'Yes, ma'am.' Sam said.
'I figured as much. Come in, would you like some shepherd's pie? There's still some left.' Justine asked.
Jimmy followed Sam inside and listened as Justine shut the door.
'Thank you, ma'am.' Sam said. He knew better then to say no, Justine was like that country grandmother that always had food for the grandkids, and getting out of eating didn't work.
'How about you, Jimmy?' Justine asked.
Jimmy looked at Sam. 'Please, please, please say yes!' Jimmy thought. He wanted something that didn't taste like elementary school cafeteria or hospital patient food!
Matthew walked out of what was obviously the kitchen when a cup in his hand. 'I figured you'd show up here, Sam. It's nice to see you outside that damned room, Jimmy.' Matthew said.
'Hello to you too, Professor Randall.' Sam said trying to sound annoyed but failing due to the smirk.
Jimmy stepped further behind Sam.
'I've told you time and again, outside the classroom, it's Matthew…or Matt.' Matthew said. 'The guest room is upstairs, just look for the sign on the door that reads guest - if you would prefer dropping your luggage off up there, first.' He continued.
Sam walked back outside to get the luggage while Jimmy almost ran upstairs.
'Matt?' Justine asked hesitantly.
'What is it, hun'? Matthew asked curiously.
'Was it just my imagination or did Jimmy have bruises on his face?' Justine asked. 'And, Sam's knuckles looked bloody.' She continued.
'It wasn't your imagination. But, Jimmy won't say anything against Sam. I've tried talking to him without Sam and he just shuts down or is immediately hostile.' Matthew said. 'I don't know why he would suddenly go off on Jimmy after trying for the last couple years to get him out of the mental hospital, and while I won't defend Sam for it, and I don't think Jimmy did anything to instigate it, that doesn't mean that Sam didn't have a reason. And, it wouldn't simply be because he could'. Matthew continued.
Jimmy had tossed the hoodie onto the bed as soon as he'd gotten in the room before walking into the little bathroom connected to the room. He locked both doors, leaned back against the bathroom door and then leaned his head back. 'One damn thing and I couldn't even do that right!' Jimmy whispered to himself. He couldn't fly. He couldn't heal himself. He couldn't heal someone else. What kind of angel was he?
He stripped his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. He turned his back to the mirror and looked over his shoulder. He wanted to scream 'Why doesn't anybody else see the damn feathers?!' Sure they were black but still, they were FEATHERS! And, they were HIS!
He turned back around when he started shaking. 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I do anything right? And, why is the one person who actually listens to me the person I hurt most?' He whispered. 'What kind of angel keeps failing at whatever he tries, over and over, again?' He continued whispering before shaking his head.
He looked at what was around the sink and seeing the razor, he wondered if it would hurt if he slit his wrists. He smirked to himself. Humans were stupid. Someone wanting to slit their wrists needed to do it quickly, vertically, and deep along the vein. He took the razor apart to get solely to the blade. 'What good am I to Sam?' He whispered, holding the blade - he could tell it was sharp.
He felt the tears in his eyes run down his cheeks. 'I'm not good to anyone. I'm no good for Sam.' He whispered, before making the cuts quickly along BOTH wrists, but as he looked again at the mirror, he could've sworn he'd seen his eyes glow red.
Sam stood outside the guest room door with his and Jimmy's luggage. They'd figure out who would take the couch later. Sam knocked on the door. 'Come on, Jimmy! Open up!' Sam said. 'Jimmy, come on, I... I'm sorry!' He continued. 'Cas, please, open the door.' He continued concerned. He had a bad feeling growing in his gut and he did NOT like it!
'Do you need some help?' Matthew asked from behind him.
'Do you have a key?' Sam asked without turning from the door.
'No. I lost the key years ago to the guest room.' Matthew said.
'Nail file and straight pin?' Sam asked, still without turning from the door.
It only took a minute from the time Matthew walked away for Justine to come back with the requested items.
Sam got to work picking the lock and Matthew and Justine watched. 'Don't ask.' Sam said. Sam wasn't about to explain learning how to pick locks to help Dean out when they both spent the better part of eighteen months rebelling against Bobby. He could pick some very complicated locks but that wasn't really a necessity in this situation.
When Sam got the door open, he glanced around the room and noticed his Stanford hoodie on the bed. He made his way over to the bathroom door and wasn't surprised to find it locked, as well. 'Jim-Cas, please, open the door so I don't have to get it open myself.' Sam said, concern growing.
When there was no response, Sam got to work picking that lock, as well. After the door was unlocked, Sam tried to open it, but something seemed to be holding it shut. 'Castiel, this isn't funny!' Sam snapped. It took him a couple attempts to shoulder the door open, but as soon as he did and got into the room, he immediately saw the problem. 'Jimmy? Oh dear God!' Sam choked.
Jimmy had collapsed back against the door. The blood covered Jimmy's arms and Sam knelt down next to him. 'Why did you do this?' Sam cried.
'Matt, call an ambulance and bring me some scissors, we need tourniquets!' Justine ordered.
As soon as Justine had made makeshift tourniquet on Jimmy's arms with parts of Jimmy's shirt and a couple pencils, Sam pulled Jimmy into his lap and held him tight. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you. It wasn't your fault Jess died. I'm sorry, Jimmy - Cas, I'm so sorry.' Sam cried. 'You can't die on me, you just can't.' He thought to himself.
xXxXx
Benny reached over Dean's sleeping form to his phone and hit the answer button before bringing it back to his ear. 'Mmm, huh?' He was half-asleep and that was his idea of a hello.
Benny listened for a few seconds, waking up faster then normal. 'Sam?' Benny asked concerned. Sam calling in tears was definitely new for him, Sam wasn't one to cry in front of others, even over the phone.
He was only able to catch bits and pieces of what Sam was saying since part of it just wasn't audible and others just didn't make sense. By what he was catching, though…Sam had 'gone off' on Jimmy and after they'd gotten to Professor Randall's house - not sure why they were there - Jimmy cut his wrists almost all the way up to his elbows. And, Sam's a wreck because it's his fault - or, he's blaming himself for it, even if he probably wasn't to blame.
'Do you want Dean?' Benny asked.
He wasn't sure what Sam responded with besides that Jimmy was in critical condition and even if he survived, he'd be under a seventy-hour psych hold. He wasn't sure if Sam wanted Dean there or not but critical condition wasn't good and if something DID happen…Dean needed to be there - even if just to make sure Sam continued to take care of himself and at least attempted to go to school.
After they hung up, Benny woke Dean up, and after avoiding getting punched in the mouth and then eye - Dean could be violent if he was 'suddenly' woken up, he explained about the call from Sam, and Dean was ready to leave before Benny was even off the phone with the airport for the ticket. 'Take care of Ben and Emma, tell them daddy will be back in a few days. And, get in touch with my current clients at the auto shop, tell them I'll get back to work as soon as I get back - family emergency.' Dean rattled off, Benny agreed without hesitation before Dean shot out the door.