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EDIT 1: No, we didn't go to the police about the first time he killed me. The police weren't going to do anything useful, anyway. It's fine, I promise.
EDIT 2: Why's everyone so hung up about the fact that he killed me? I knew he was going to do it beforehand, we didn't exactly have a relationship conversation about it but I basically let him do it because I wanted to see what he was capable of, and it was really fun to figure out how to escape his murder attempt. It was pretty close to consensual imho. And I had a good time and we discussed it a few years later after he came back from the dead.
EDIT 3: Please stop DMing me to define consensual murder or explain how being murdered was fun. I understand that not everyone has the same tastes as I do but I would appreciate if people were a little more understanding of my hobbies.
EDIT 4: Please stop DMing me to explain how both of us died and came back to life. I just want to know if our feelings are mutual, not go to jail for revealing the government's human rights violations.
EDIT 5: Stop DMing me about the government's human rights violations and how that relates to my rival.
EDIT 6: Thank you to everyone who responded with advice. It turns out that he was so happy all the time because we're stuck together in quarantine and he's in love with me (?!?!), and wasn't actually planning my murder.
EDIT 7: We did have the conversation about the murder and he said he's not really into murdering me, unfortunately, partly because he's in love with me and really wants me to be alive. It was just a thing that he had to do for family reasons. Either way, I think we're dating now, and I'm just really happy to be with him. :)
ORIGINAL POST
Hi, making a throwaway account for this post. So like a lot of people lately, I've been holed up with someone I've known for a long time for the coronavirus self-isolation, and some weird stuff has been happening in our relationship.
For context, I've actually liked this guy since... forever? Since I was 17 I think? We kind of met by accident and hit it off right away. The more I talked to him the more he seemed really lonely, he kept making time to meet with me even though he was really busy, so even though my friends were a little wary of him, I kept thinking, Hey, he's actually really nice underneath. I kind of just wished that more people would know that about him, or that he'd let other people see that side of himself. But he had a lot of crazy stuff going on with his family and his job at the time, so he didn't really have a lot of room in his life for a relationship besides a few dates here and there, so I just sort of kept it to myself.
I sort of figured that my crush would go away on its own, except that then he killed me. I can't stop thinking about it. It was kind of a rough time for other reasons, but the actual murder itself was one of the best nights of my life.
I think I was pretty much sold on him ever since. I tried dating a few other people to get over him, but it never really worked out. I dunno, I think it's just really a once-in-a-lifetime that you find a guy who can outsmart you, betray you, and get his hands dirty and murder you all in one. He's just really special, you know? Can you really blame me for not being able to get over him?
For a long time I thought that it wasn't ever going to work out because he died a couple times of his own (he got better), but then it turned out that I was staying at his apartment for a few weeks to avoid my parents when the coronavirus quarantine hit, and now we're stuck together all the time. He's working from home, but I work at a cafe, so all I have to do all day long is play ACNH and wait for him to do stuff with me.
For reference, he's a really aloof sort of person, with a really mean sense of humor, who pretends he's not interested in things when he is. But nowadays he basically gave up pretending that he doesn't want to do things with me, so now we do everything together, like playing board games or watching movies or cooking food. It's really weird because my favorite thing to do right now is go for grocery runs with him every two weeks, because we'll do things like get the types of rice that we both like, or get eggs for his breakfast and sweet pastries for mine, and he always looks so weirdly pleased about going grocery shopping for two people that it makes me really happy? Sometimes we'll go out on the little balcony outside his apartment and we'll just talk for hours in really quiet voices, and he looks almost... content...?
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've never seen him smile this much in his life—except for the time when he killed me. Am I getting my hopes up? Am I reading too much into things? The last time he seemed to be this happy, he was faking a lot of it so that he could plot my downfall. Most of the time, when he's being honest about how he feels, he's either mean, tired, or sad. So I keep thinking maybe, now that he looks so happy all the time, he's planning some other scheme to surprise me, and he's being friendly and smiley to make me let my guard down so he can murder me.
But on the other hand, I think he didn't really want to kill me the first time around (I'm not actually sure, he doesn't like to talk about it, but he doesn't like to talk about things that bother him). But I don't really know why else he'd look this happy?
Honestly, I think getting murdered and escaping death would be a really fun thing to do during quarantine because I'm really bored whenever he's working. Maybe I just want him to pay more attention to me? It's really nice to think that maybe when he's working on his computer, he's still thinking about me and ways to kill me :)