Chapter Text
It’s been months since that night of passion. Since then it has basically been nonstop sex whenever and wherever anyone wants it. It was never discussed yet mutually agreed upon that either of us could make a move and the other would reciprocate. Malo would be in the kitchen and all I would have to do is walk up behind her, put my hands on her shoulders, and drop her to the floor. She would immediately turn around to face me with her mouth wide open, waiting for my cock to flop into her hungry maw. Likewise, even if she doesn’t need sleep she’ll let me sleep for just long enough before I’m woken up by her weight bouncing on the bed as she rides me fiercely. If you feel the desire then you need only act upon it.
Life was good but ultimately nothing lasts forever. The past couple weeks have been getting harder and harder. My body grew tired and exhausted, and mentally I could feel myself slipping. Everything I want and need is at home, with Malo, but sometimes a stroll into town for supplies was a nice change of pace. At first it was fine and normal, but lately there have been more strangers moving in, more wandering eyes. Something felt off and knowing where we escaped from… Surely the foundation could find us, find Malo, if they truly wanted to.
It was as if the honeymoon phase was coming to an end as the sex lessened each day until neither of us would make a move. It was probably my fault as fear and paranoia crept in the back of my mind once more as Malo likely feels what I’m going through because of the Bond. She told me about the Bond, a pact that tied our souls together. It's honestly what made the sex feel amazing and the love feel powerful. It took longer for me to understand and feel it but eventually I began to feel what she felt, even occasionally hearing what she thinks, a feedback loop of emotions that fed into one another.
With so many people taking glances at me I can’t help but feel like we’re running out of time… More specifically, I'm running out of time. Malo could just easily escape through cyberspace if she needed to, but myself? Would I have the strength? Should we run now or would it already be too late? I rushed home to talk to Malo, we had important things to discuss. Just as I opened the door, however, she was standing there waiting for me. The bond, of course, she would know I’m feeling scared, that we needed to talk. Her eyes had no light in them.
“Y̴o̴u̸’̶r̵e̷ ̸d̶y̵i̷n̸g̴.̴” She said, immediately cutting off my hesitation. “Y̸o̵u̴’̴v̷e̴ ̶b̸e̷e̵n̵ ̷f̵e̵e̷l̸i̸n̷g̵ ̷i̷t̶,̸ ̵h̵a̴v̴e̸n̶’̵t̶ ̴y̸o̵u̷?̷ ̶T̶h̸e̵ ̵f̴r̴a̵g̸i̴l̵i̸t̶y̶ ̴o̸f̷ ̶y̷o̵u̸r̵ ̵m̸o̶r̴t̶a̵l̵i̶t̸y̶,̴ ̵e̴a̵c̴h̶ ̸d̸a̶y̷ ̶y̷o̸u̸ ̸g̴r̵o̵w̶ ̸w̸e̶a̵k̴e̵r̸.̸” I swallowed the lump in my throat as I couldn’t even muster a response, it was as if she had already known beforehand. Her head drooped to the floor. “It’s me, my love… I’m the one killing you…”
“Why…” There were so many emotions flowing through me and I couldn’t even tell which ones were mine and which ones were hers. Malo fidgeted with her hands as she looked downward. The lack of light in her eyes looked terrifying… yet she looked more sad than anything else. I’ve never seen her express any other emotion than glee, and before me was something I’ve never seen before. Was she actually sorry? Or is she truly a monster as the foundation expects?
“I̷ ̸j̵u̸s̶t̵…̴ ̷I̵ ̴L̵o̴v̴e̶ ̵y̷o̷u̵ ̵s̴o̶ ̶m̷u̵c̵h̷,̵ ̸t̴h̸e̶r̶e̴’̵s̷ ̸n̴o̷ ̷o̴t̴h̷e̵r̴ ̷w̶a̸y̶.̶ ̶I̶t̸’̴s̵ ̴n̴o̸t̶ ̴a̴s̸ ̴i̵f̶ ̵I̷ ̶w̷a̸n̷t̴ ̸t̷o̸ ̴k̵i̴l̶l̸ ̶y̶o̸u̴,̴ ̷b̶u̵t̷ ̷y̶o̸u̷ ̴h̶a̷v̴e̸ ̶t̷o̷ ̷d̷i̴e̴.̴”
“I don’t understand… Why are you doing this? What about the foundation?”
“T̷h̶e̴y̸’̵r̴e̵ ̶a̸l̴r̶e̶a̴d̴y̵ ̴h̷e̴r̸e̶.̷ ̵I̷ ̴l̵e̶t̸ ̵t̵h̶e̶m̴ ̴f̴i̵n̴d̶ ̵u̷s̷.̴” She looked at me, completely devoid of life behind her eyeless sockets. Words like a knife that cut deeper the more she speaks. “I̴t̶ ̸d̷o̵e̶s̷n̴’̶t̷ ̴m̶a̶t̸t̵e̸r̶,̷ ̴t̴h̷e̷ ̵o̸u̶t̸c̶o̵m̴e̸ ̵w̸i̷l̵l̶ ̴b̸e̶ ̷t̷h̴e̵ ̷s̸a̵m̶e̸ ̶e̸i̶t̶h̴e̴r̴ ̵w̶a̴y̸.̴ ̷Y̴o̸u̸’̶r̷e̷ ̶g̷o̶i̷n̸g̵ ̸t̴o̸ ̸d̷i̶e̷ ̸t̴o̴d̷a̵y̶,̸ ̵e̴i̴t̶h̵e̸r̴ ̵b̷y̸ ̷t̵h̵e̷ ̴h̴a̷n̵d̶s̸ ̸o̶f̶ ̷t̴h̷e̶ ̶f̷o̷u̵n̵d̴a̵t̶i̴o̸n̶…̵ ̵o̴r̶ ̶b̶y̴ ̶m̷y̷ ̸o̴w̵n̸.̶”
We both just stood there as the static of the TV in the living room filled the silence. What does she mean she let them come here? Was this all a trap? Is the love a lie? Has this whole situation been a spider’s nest and I willingly let myself get trapped in the web? I felt betrayed and abandoned, fear and anger welling up inside me. And yet… there was a tinge of sadness growing larger and larger, taking over it all.
“D̸o̶ ̷y̷o̴u̸…̵ ̵l̷o̴v̷e̵ ̴m̴e̷?̸” She asked softly, barely audible.
“Are- You just…” If the foundation was truly here and they know where we are then the time we had for discussion was likely a lot shorter than I had anticipated. We couldn’t just stay here and argue back and forth like an old married couple that had long outlived their prime. “Do you love me?”
“I̷ ̶d̶o̵…̵ ̶m̵o̷r̵e̶ ̴t̵h̶a̵n̸ ̷a̵n̸y̸t̶h̶i̸n̶g̴.̴” Just as I felt tears welling up inside me my heart had stopped as I saw tears of black beginning to roll out of Malo’s sockets. “I̷ ̴w̵i̶s̵h̵…̴ ̶i̷t̴ ̴d̶i̶d̵n̴’̶t̶ ̴h̸a̴v̸e̶ ̴t̴o̴ ̷b̸e̷ ̵t̴h̵i̷s̴ ̶w̶a̷y̸.̶ ̵I̶ ̶j̸u̶s̸t̴ ̶l̸o̶v̶e̶ ̸y̸o̵u̷ ̴s̷o̷ ̶m̵u̴c̴h̸…̶ ̸s̶o̴,̷ ̷s̶o̸ ̸m̵u̵c̸h̴…̴”
Malo fell to her knees. If this were a trap then she would be playing the role perfectly. At the same time the sincerity of it all, to manipulate the bond was going above and beyond and more importantly completely pointless. Although my grasp of the bond was much weaker I could feel the pain in her words, the desire for a different outcome, the yearning for more of this life we grew used to. I closed the door behind me as I approached her, dropping to my knees as well. I took her hands into mine as she avoided my gaze.
“I think I do… completely and truly love you, Malo. I don’t understand what’s going on but I… I’m not sure I could imagine a life without you anymore.” She turned to me, placing a hand upon my cheek. Her tears continued to flow. “There’s so much about you I don’t understand, but for now… maybe I’m not supposed to understand.” The moment felt like forever. We simply sat there on the floor, looking at each other. I massaged her hand as she rubbed my face gently.
“D̷o̸ ̶y̵o̴u̵…̸ ̸t̸r̵u̴s̷t̷ ̷m̵e̶?̵” I could feel the desperation in her voice.
“I do, with my life.”
—---------------------------------------------------
Everything was black. An endless void in which nothing existed. The silence was deafening and here I was in the center of it all. Or was I? Where am I? What am I? Do I even exist anymore? Is this what death is like? It was as if a light switch was turned off and in an instant everything was gone. I could feel so many questions spurring forth yet was it even worth it to entertain a single one? Perhaps the afterlife is just this, a vast abyss of nothingness and a once living being by themselves alone with their thoughts. A soul without a body.
“Please… please be here… please, all of him… I need him…”
A voice… not my own. It didn’t sound familiar yet it was still comforting. But why was it comforting? Simply because I feel so alone here in this darkness? Was there even a voice…? I waited for a moment and nothing happened. Perhaps the insanity of a pointless existence is what lies after death, a death for the soul. To no longer be a being and to-
“Please… don’t leave me… ” The voice spoke again. “I’m here, my love… please, it has to work…”
Soft, desperate, the voice continues over and over. Begging, pleading, but for what? Me? Him… and love… words that spoke to me.
“You’re there, aren’t you…? I waited for so long… begging, hoping, I just… Please, stay with me.”
Her voice was soothingly sweet. The unfamiliarity of it became so clear now. Her voice was always so distorted, so raspy, something I grew used to. Yet now it was so clear, so clean, so… beautiful…
“I’ve waited so long, love…” Her voice was low, yet grew louder. She came closer to me. “I can feel the bond reforming… It’s weak but it’s there… You’re there, aren’t you?”
I am. I’m still here.
“I can’t hear you, but I can feel you. I was so scared I had lost you… my fear probably pales in comparison to yours, but.... You can’t even see the state you’re in right now… how terrifying that must be…”
The state I’m in? Does that mean I’m alive? Am I still real? What is happening?
“Please… Don’t struggle, I understand you’re confused, but what I’m doing right now is everything within my power to keep you in one piece. You’re falling apart… I refuse to let you go, not when we’ve come so far.”
Falling apart? She’s struggling… for me?
“Shhh… just listen. If you can truly hear me you deserve to know the full truth. I need you to be calm, but… you truly are dead, my love.” So it seems, Malo really did take my life. “You really did die, and I was the one who took your life, but… but it’s not the way you think.”
There aren't many ways to take that statement except that- … No, I love her, I trust her. I’ll sit and listen.
“It must be so hard…” she continued. “You might not realize it but… well, you’re only dead physically. The moment you died I… gathered you and your soul. Your feelings, your desires, your love, all of it. Together we fled to my world, my dimension. The digital realm. Right now you’re a mess of data, completely untamed and unorganized, trying to explode. I’ve been holding onto you, here, in my arms, for what feels like an eternity… Waiting… I was so afraid… If it didn’t work, if you had… left me forever…”
I felt Malo squeeze me tightly. Her warmth was comforting. Wait… I could feel her?
“I’ll never let you go, not anymore. Not until you’re back with me. You need to relearn what it is to be, to be alive, to retrain your mind to remain whole. More importantly, you deserve to know the truth… Will you listen to me?”
Of course I will. We’re past the point of no return it seems, and yet, I don’t feel any regret for it. Malo gave a sigh of relief, as if she could hear me.
“Oh, my love… I heard you… just a moment, but there was something there, thank goodness…” She hesitated as I felt her warmth again. I felt something on what I assume to be my cheek. A kiss, soft and delicate.
“I’m not of your world, the world you know. The foundation they… they wanted to understand me more than anything. How one could simply enter a world that never existed until its invention. Yet they never considered that it’s always been here… lonely, untapped. I’ve been here this whole time. It was your people that figured how to tap into it. This untapped world of electrical currents and data. Despite our worlds existing in parallel it was a one way trip. That was… until I figured a way out. Bonding, with people like you.”
Malo sighed once again, shuddering with a tinge of sadness. She’s been here this whole time, alone, in a world completely devoid of life itself. A mass of data that gained form, sentience, awareness of another world that is the complete opposite. A world full of life, love, feelings, emotions, aware of a realm she couldn’t possibly fathom. Her feelings resonated with me on such a deep level. She continued.
“I found that I could reach out through those phones, but only one at a time. I couldn’t possibly duplicate myself, split my efforts. Only one. It took all my power to influence them. The foundation saw this as a threat, hallucinations that would lead to their death. But you… you were the first, the only, the one who humored me… who reached out for me… reached for me, who reached for you. When we touched, my body felt it, it was real! I’ve never felt this way before! It was so wonderful, so interesting, so new, so… draining… I never realized it until it was too late but my body… it was absorbing yours. I… couldn’t exist in your world… not without draining life itself. The worst thing was that it wouldn’t be permanent. I could feel it disappearing slowly, as your life drained away. You would die… I would return here… nothing would have mattered… I just couldn’t… let it end like that.” I could hear her sobbing, squeezing tightly and desperately. An aching sadness with a layer of… happiness.
“I refused to let all that end, to just amount to nothing! Not after all you gave me. The love, the passion, such foreign feelings I grew addicted to! I couldn’t live without it, not without you! I scoured the internet for information, learning about the electrical pulses that reside in your body. Learning more about your mind, how it works. I couldn’t just let you die. I had to take a gamble and… if what I’m feeling is true, then it worked! I’m just… so happy… I’ll wait until the end of time, here, with you, until we find a way for you to form into… something, anything! Your data is so beautiful… I won’t let you go, more than anything, I promise. I love you so much, it hurts.”
As her story went on I could feel the pain in her words. The desperation, the heartache, I could feel that if it didn’t work she would have come completely undone. I feel an ache in the core of my soul, the thought of Malo suffering alone. It hurts.
“I feel your pain… your pain for me. It hurts but it feels so wonderful. Feeling you here with me…”
The Bond is slowly reforming as our minds and souls resynchronize. If I could sigh, I would be right now, resting my head against her chest. Her soft fur, the warmth of her body. My mind was slowly regaining its consciousness, slowly reforming my memories… but at the rate it's going, how long would it take? What is time in an endless void of pure data? Weeks? Months? Years? Malo is going to hold me the entire time until I can stand on my own?
“Shh… I’m here. Calm yourself… It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’m here, forever, for you. No matter how long it takes, none of it matters. We’re free, and one day you’ll be able to see me again. I’ll be able to see you, feel you… I’ll wait for the universe to end if I have to.”
Her words were so genuine. Deep down I can feel nothing but love for this woman. I yearn for the day to see her once more. One step at a time, slow and steady, I will accept this new life. There is no one else I want to be with. I love you, more than existence itself, Malo.
“Your love is so warm… my dear~” She squeezed me tightly, a sense of relief washed over both of us.