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Shit.
Korekiyo didn’t consider himself a man of bad luck. He’d certainly come across incredible misfortune in his life, but it wasn’t bad luck; no, the things that happened to him were all for a reason. Everything, at least he believed, was caused by something else.
However, the amount of times he had gotten locked out of his dorm late at night was beginning to convince him otherwise.
It was routine at this point. Some time at night, long after curfew but long before Kiyo intended to sleep, he’d leave his dorm to wander. Sometimes he just walked around; the campus was incredibly safe, and so beautiful in the dark. Usually though, his wandering quickly ended up with him in the kitchen.
His usual snacks were Byakuya’s expensive French chocolates, which Byakuya always got annoyed at him for taking, but he did it anyway because he’d never tasted better dark chocolate than those damn things.
Or microwave ramen. It was a guilty pleasure.
A decent amount of the time, Korekiyo would return to his dorm with his key in hand and no worries at all. However, in a more recent trend, he kept forgetting . Which meant he was locked out until the morning, when he could get someone to help unlock his door.
The only upside to getting locked out was getting to spend time with Byakuya, his friend and the only person he knew would be awake at the ungodly hours he found himself dormless. Byakuya was the busiest person Kiyo knew, and instead of reducing his workload to accommodate his interests, he just cut into his sleep schedule. It was unhealthy, but at least he had an excuse for staying up. Kiyo just didn’t sleep.
He was already halfway to Byakuya’s dorm when he remembered Byakuya was on a date with Makoto that night, and their dates always ended up with them in the same bed. So, either Kiyo would knock at an empty dorm, or one without room for him; neither option was great. Would anyone else be available?
Rantaro never minded spending the night, but his sleep schedule was actually functional, and he prided himself on that. There was no way Kiyo could wake him up. Gundham would likely be awake, but he always carried the scent of animal, and Kiyo didn’t know if he could stand sleeping in a whole dorm of that. Kirumi would scold him for being up too late, Sonia was too proper to spend a night with a man ( especially Kiyo ), and he didn’t even want to think about Celestia… all of his friends he ruled out in one way or another. All, except one.
Gonta answered the door wearing nothing but his sheets hastily thrown around his waist. Korekiyo was very glad for the darkness around both of them, because Gonta couldn’t see the blush that rose on his cheeks.
It wasn’t that Kiyo had a crush on Gonta, it really wasn’t. Kiyo had never had a crush on anything, and he never would. He did not have any romantic feelings towards Gonta Gokuhara.
It’s just that when Korekiyo was around Gonta, his feelings just spilled out. All that restraint he’d built up over the years, gone as soon as he was in the man’s proximity. He would blush or smile or get too passionate talking at length about his interests and Gonta would just let him. His running theory was that Gonta wore his heart on his sleeve, and it brought Kiyo out of his shell as well. He didn’t care if it was a sound theory or not; it gave him an excuse not to think about his real feelings.
After a moment of waiting outside, Gonta reappeared looking quite embarrassed. He had put on loose pajama pants, but his chest remained bare, which made Kiyo’s heart skip a bit. He had no idea Gonta was so… fuzzy.
“It’s really late… what does Kiyo need?” Gonta asked, interrupting Kiyo’s staring session before his gaze had a chance to wander anywhere else. Before Kiyo could open his mouth to answer, Gonta jumped to open the door fully and let Kiyo in. Always a gentleman.
Korekiyo looked around Gonta’s room as he responded, “I got myself locked out of my own dorm, so I must ask that I stay the night here. I typically spend the night with Byakuya when this happens, but he’s unavailable.”
In the dim hallway light spilling in through the open doorway, Kiyo saw Gonta smile gently. “Oh, that’s okay. Gonta not mind! Though, he only have one bed here…” he looked around as he spoke, searching for another option. “Gonta can sleep on the ground if Kiyo want! He’s pretty used to it,” he offered.
That’s an odd factor Kiyo hadn’t considered. Byakuya had never minded sharing a bed with Kiyo, and more than once they’d found themselves nearly cuddling; Kiyo could never see Byakuya as anything more than a friend, so it never bothered him. Gonta was, of course, also a friend, but it felt different.
But, as much as the idea of sharing a bed with Gonta made his heart flutter, he’d rather anything than make Gonta sleep on the floor. So, he quickly responded, “No, of course not. I don’t mind sharing.”
To Korekiyo’s surprise, Gonta developed a blush similar to Kiyo’s own. “O-Oh, yeah! Gonta hadn’t thought of that…” He trailed off as he went to close the door, enveloping the two in comfortable darkness. He hopped onto the bed after that, sitting and waiting for Kiyo to get settled. Though he tried to be discrete about it, Kiyo still noticed him moving a small stuffed cat behind his pillow in an attempt to hide it. It was downright adorable.
Even in the dark, Gonta’s dorm has a pleasant feeling to it. The window’s blinds were held open by mismatched strings, and on the windowsill sat all types of potted plants. Moonlight made a perfect square on the floor below it. His desk was covered in various books and trinkets, most of which were difficult to make out. On the central table, a couple empty terrariums were stacked, surrounded by a couple rocks. Gonta’s book bag hung off the back of the chair. As Kiyo settled onto the bed, he noticed a thin knit blanket thrown over the lower half.
Korekiyo had left his uniform at his own dorm when he left, and wore only his undershirt. He unbuttoned it a couple notches for more comfort. He let down his ponytail, shaking his hair out and briefly massaging his scalp, and removed a thin chain from around his neck. Finally, he took off his mask-- he’d much prefer to have his sleeping mask, as the security of protecting his face at night had become quite routine, tulpa haunting him or not-- but wearing nothing was still preferable to sleeping in his stiff everyday mask. His face felt cold without it on, but beyond that, he didn’t have anything to worry about. The possessions had stopped years ago.
He didn’t unwrap the bandages firmly covering his arms, which Gonta seemed to notice. He didn’t speak up about it, instead saying, “ Is Kiyo gonna take his pants off?”
Only Gonta, bless his soul, could say something so gay and be none the wiser. Kiyo frowned and responded, “I don’t need to.”
“Gonna be uncomfortable, though. While he’s here, Kiyo gotta get sleep!”Gonta nudged Kiyo as he spoke. It was true, his pants were a thick, tight material and quite unpleasant to relax in. He pulled the covers over his legs, then reluctantly slid them off, making sure to keep his thighs covered. Gonta didn’t need to see them.
Satisfied that Korekiyo would be comfortable enough to sleep well, Gonta also got under the covers and rolled onto his side, facing Kiyo. His posture was awkward without something in his arms. He probably slept with his plushie at night.
“Good night, Kiyo,” Gonta murmured sleepily.
“Sleep well,” Kiyo responded, and tried to do just that.
Quickly, issues started to show themselves; most prominently, the lack of space. Gonta’s arms, folded loosely in front of him, pressed up against Kiyo’s side. Kiyo could feel the heat coming off of Gonta’s skin, which brought another problem; Kiyo was quickly getting cold. Gonta was a radiator of a man, and his sheets were minimal. Kiyo, on the other hand, was built like a skeleton, and ran just as cold. Every time he adjusted to scratch an itch under his bandages, Gonta would feel the movement, and inch his arms closer, making some strange feeling bubble up and flit through Kiyo’s veins.
Eventually, Gonta softly asked, “Why keep the bandages on? They seem itchy.”
He was so considerate. “Gonta, I…” he trailed off, not knowing how exactly to explain. He couldn’t just show Gonta the ugly scars covering his arms and legs, but he couldn’t deny their existence, either. Did Gonta even know how self harm worked? Surely, he had some concept; but Kiyo didn’t want him to experience it, or see it. “I can’t take them off,” he finally said.
“Why? Is Kiyo hurt?”
“No, but I was in the past. I don’t like anyone seeing it.”
Gonta was looking right at Kiyo. His expression was soft, and his eyes looked both melancholy and reassuring.
Quietly, Gonta said, “It’s okay, Gonta have lots of scars too.”
For a moment, Kiyo was shocked. He pulled his head back, and looked at Gonta, and soon recognized what he meant; Gonta’s chest was a patchwork of old and new scars, scattered across his tan skin in a way that reminded Kiyo of an old, fierce feral cat. They thinned out on his neck, but returned on his face. He recognized the one cutting through his lips, and the three raking across his cheek. Now that he thought about it, he recognised them as claw marks and cuts from sticks and rocks; a telling mark of Gonta’s years as a wolf’s child.
Kiyo was quiet, and so Gonta continued, “ If Kiyo wanna take his bandages off, Gonta get it, he won’t look. And, he’d never think anything bad if he saw.” And without another word, he rolled over, leaving Kiyo in peace.
Korekiyo burrowed even further under the covers, to the point where his head barely touched the pillow, and peeled his bandages off his clammy skin. After that, he moved to the end of the bed furthest away from Gonta as possible. He couldn’t quite explain it, but he just needed to put distance between them. Gonta was too sweet, too kind and nonjudgmental… Kiyo was the opposite. He had a strange past and a skewed worldview because of it. He’d done things that Gonta would most certainly consider ungentlemanly. Being around Gonta made him forget all that, and at the same time, made it all impossible to ignore. He was impure, and the man quickly falling into peaceful sleep beside him was not.
Korekiyo was unsure exactly when he fell asleep, and even less sure of when he woke up. All he knew for certain was that at one point, he noticed a warm weight surrounding him on all sides.
He felt very comfortable, until the weight softly sighed and shifted, and he was suddenly acutely aware that he was cuddled tightly in Gonta’s arms.
To say that scared him was an understatement. For years and years, Korekiyo had denied himself any forms of romantic closeness, and now, from the person he deserved the least, it was being generously given to him in his sleep. Gonta shouldn’t have to do this. He didn’t need to shelter Korekiyo like this. No good would come of it for either of them.
So, despite the cold that quickly got under his skin, he wriggled out of Gonta’s embrace and shuffled to the very edge of the bed once again. For a few moments, the air in the room was quiet and peaceful.
When he spoke and broke the silence, Gonta’s voice was timid and dismayed. “Sorry… Gonta should’ve asked if touching was ok,” he murmured. “Kiyo just looked really cold…”
Korekiyo hadn’t realized that Gonta was awake. He looked up, and their eyes met briefly, but Gonta glanced away just as fast. His chest heaved a great sigh. He nuzzled his face deep into the pillow and tried to get used to nothing in his arms again.
Something yellow and sickly sweet welled up in Korekiyo’s chest as he watched, and it took him a moment to recognize what it was, and longer to admit.
He knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t, but he wanted to stay in Gonta’s arms forever. He wanted to run to that warmth, curl up there, and stay until he died. His embrace was unfamiliar, and all at once he was craving more; it was so rare for Korekiyo to find a place where he felt safe, somewhere he didn’t want to leave. A place that didn’t remind him of somewhere else. Someone else.
He wanted to be wrapped up under Gonta’s body, yes, but also in his caring, worried words, his close-mouthed grin, his passionate highs and shameful lows. He wanted all of it, to hold and to let hold him. To study. To possess. To adore.
Korekiyo didn’t consider himself an unlucky man, but the ease with which he’d fallen in love with Gonta- and not even realized it until moments ago- was beginning to make him think very much otherwise.
Too much time had passed in silence for Korekiyo’s response to sound natural in response to Gonta, but that was the least of his worries at this point. “It’s alright. I- I don’t mind, it just startled me, I suppose. I’m not used to waking up like that.”
Gonta nodded. “Kiyo’s always seemed so lonely. Gonta’s wanted to make it better for a while, but he not really know how,” he said slowly, like his words took a lot of thought. A blush deep enough to see in the dark covered his cheeks.
Lonely..?
Well, that was true. Korekiyo was lonely, but that was his choice. He loved humans, but from a distance. Interactions with people up close were a luxury for him, and one that he reserved for very important study. He hadn’t really considered the fact that others noticed his distance.
Or, that they wanted him closer.
Tentatively, Gonta put his warm hands on Kiyo’s shoulders. His collarbone pressed into the bottom of Gonta’s palm. “If Kiyo’s uncomfortable, it okay, but… Gonta not want you to get cold again.”
Korekiyo couldn’t help but get the sense that Gonta wanted a lot more than to keep him warm. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, forbade himself from overthinking, overcomplicating. “Yes,” he sighed. “Go ahead.”
Without hesitating, Gonta pulled Korekiyo into his embrace once again. Kiyo did his best to get comfortable, eventually finding a comfortable spot with his arms around Gonta’s midsection and his forehead resting against Gonta’s neck, right under his chin. Their bodies fit together surprisingly well.
At some point, Gonta pressed impossibly closer, and Korekiyo didn’t stop him. Their legs touched, then tangled together.
Together, they settled into peaceful slumber.